After 8 long years of battling with insecurities, low self-esteem, with constant fear of the knowledge I could infect someone with HSV 1&2 was a nightmare to me. I'm so glad/grateful that I am over Herpes and its stigma! All thanks to Dr. Aloha ua-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html ❤️🙏🏻🍃
After 8 long years of battling with insecurities, low self-esteem, with constant fear of the knowledge I could infect someone with HSV 1&2 was a nightmare to me. I'm so glad/grateful that I am over Herpes and its stigma! All thanks to Dr. Aloha ua-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html ❤️🙏🏻🍃
Of course Ramani is good. But never assume She has been doing her work for 30 years She didn't suddenly become good It takes years to become a good enough practitioner. Many years of study thousands of hours of clinical supervision Years of experience plus workshops and years of therapy for one's self. If you think you can just study and it will all just happen then do rethink! I have people tell me they are therapists and they attended a weekend workshop One female told me she was a counselor therapist and when I asked about training she told me she studied beauty and skin products!!! I wasn't very reassured.
As someone who after 30+ of searching for a decent trauma therapist, all I can say is yes, she's been doing this a long time, but she seems like she's the kind of therapist who has kept on learning all during her career. Don't ever quit learning after you graduate.
Aspiring therapist here. What I like most about her is how genuinely curious she is. It appears that she brings her real self to the session and I believe that provides a sense of safety and trust to her clients. She very efficient at fostering insight and providing spot on interpretations. I like the use of drawing parallels to her work with people in abusive relationships. I'd love to have her as my own therapist!
I have the utmost admiration and respect for Kyle. To put this super personal content in a public platform is brave! Humbling is a great word too! Thank you! Thank you Dr. Ramani!
I am finding the more I listen to Dr.Ramani the more my emotional pain is coming out, gently coming out and that's what I need, slowly. Otherwise I think it would be overwhelming. All the best to you
I like her so much because a lot of therapists you can kind of tell what theyre doing and they sound like a broken record. She just sounds so natural and fluid.
literally. she sounds like a normal human who wants the best for u. a lot of my therapists always sounded so rehearsed it made me feel even worse during every session "I understand that you are dealing with very difficult emotions." Like yea, I'm aware thank you very much. they all sound the same i swear every time I had a therapist they've said this exact same phrase at least once
5:52 You feel guilty for having a normal reaction to your life? Wow this gets me alone, cause i also have this sense of guilt. 6:39 Dr: Do you feel guilty when you feel hungry K: No. Dr: ok, but you have access to food, you have a kitchen, I'm guessing, you have money to buy food. So why should you ever feel hungry? •This leads me to think that we have the idea that what we have in life has to be related to how we feel, when it is not. They are actually two totally different things that are not related. You can "have it all" and feel bad, like you can "have nothing" and feel good, and totally normal. I write this because I have experienced this feeling of guilt, thinking that since I have many facilities in life, I should not feel bad ... When the reality is that the facilities that I have in my life should not determine the way I feel, therefore, I have the "right" to feel bad, regardless of what I have. 7:38 Your viewing stressors or misfortunes or problems QUANTITATIVELY. Anf only if you get over a certain level, is a person allowed to feel bad. 8:28 It's as though you require, or you believe that there are certain valid reasons to feel bad and if you don't have a valid reason, then it's somehow shameful or wrong •OMG thats mee im literally having the same expression that he has 🤣 9:08 I don't allow myself to feel normal feeling. I judge the feelings i have unless they are compared to something to warrant those feelings in my head. 9:30 I tried to answer this question to myself and i think is: 1. In my family and social context, my feelings were always invalidated, I was told: that it was exaggerated, that what I felt was silly, the reality that made me have those feelings was denied, they only told me, do not cry or you are not sad. 2. What I felt and therefore what I could no longer do due to what I was feeling always had to do with my lack of strength, with my weakness; It never had to do with the trauma that what I experienced could have caused. 3. I have lived in a context where they have applied gaslighting to me many times, therefore, I have always had the feeling that I am bad in the head or I am crazy, that's why every time I feel bad, I think that it has to do with myself. "mental instability". 4. I have lived in a context where emotions are a hindrance, they are simply hidden, ignored, treated like the dirt you hide under the rug because you don't want to clean. • A context where the important thing is to have a career that leads to success, meet family expectations and survive; but never feel happy and well emotionally 11:18 You're in an abusive relationship with yourself. The people who are in this relationships, invalidate their partner's emotions and say: what do you got to complain about? Why are you so sensitive? Why are you getting so difficult? Why are you being so.. your acting like a child.. So they invalidate the emotion of their partner who's marely having an experience and they judge them You're kind of a one-stop shop her Mr. Kittleson, becuase you've sort of done it all in your same person. You have a part of you that gaslights yourself. 12:10 One of the healthiest places we can get a person to is where THEY DON'T JUDGE THEIR OWN EMOTION, cause emotion IS LIKE AIR TEMPERATURE, stand outside long enough, its gonna change. IT PASSES. Ir we judge the emotional state we're in and shame it, try to wall it off, it will come back and bite us. If we don't allow it to be expressed, we wall it off. Then we have all these compartmetalized parts of ourselves and we don't become a whole authentic person. We're almost our own worst enemy at those times. We're driving our sense of how we're been allowed to feel from the world. In essence, we've outsourced ourselves 16:08 That self-loathing is magnified thorugh the lens of society, the self loathing doesn't come up from anywhere, it comes fron the biases that society has against any individual that's a member of one or more marginalized groups. That internalization of that is such a quiet process. Sometimes we're not even aware of it. Then we may turn it inward, judge our emotions, judge ourselves, label ourselves negatively AND WE'LL THINK THIS IS ALL AN INTERNAL PROCESS, when in some ways that process is society. We internalize this messages from society and we think they're our own How much you judging something as integral and human as your own emotions is sort of a lifetime having judged yourself and who you are
Take home message with my own analogy: Person 1 experiences the loss of a child, which is devastating. Person 2 experiences the loss of 2 children, which is of course also devastating. This horrible loss does not negate the devastation of Person 1. So many of us are our own worst enemies when it comes to negating our own experiences.
I really love the way his nervous system was really transparent when he was processing the new, authentic truth. He kept saying " you're right, you're right, I don't want to talk anymore..." Beautiful. Nature rocks!
Maybe the interview got better over time, but in the beginning i winced several times watching her. Around 2:40 she leads with a question that assumes he has no idea where any of this is coming from. On it's own, that would have been fine, but at 2:58 he says "I was diagnosed with depression at age 9." She then goes into what seems like her needing to show him how much she knows about autoimmune diseases being impacted by stress. Very disconnected? Maybe the telehealth format was in the way of her getting the necessary non-verbals? It just felt like she was trying to impress rather than inform. Immediately after that, at 3:47 (less than a minute after he stated THE AGE THAT he was diagnosed with depression), she asks him how long he has had depression. After watching some of Kyle's sessions with Dr. Ho, I found this exchange disappointing to the extent that I stopped when she asked him a question to something he shared 49 seconds earlier. I've seen better from graduate students when we did case presentations. Dr. Miller's research speaks to directly to this.
Her genuine empathy is very rare in that world. I used to work with children and families and witnessed few like Dr Ramani. She is kindness personified.
Gosh when I look at Kyle, and I think about how much I respect and care for him, his journey, his honesty, and all the work he's done to fight for himself, others, and the overall destigmatization of mental health in general, I feel so inspired and it makes me think that all of what I am doing to keep thriving isn't worth disregarding. We love you Kyle, every day that you wake up to fight, encourages me to not abandon my fight. :) Thank you!
I really wanted to give all of you a hug. You have helped so many people, and you should be exempt from any of your pain. Dr. Ramani, I feel as if we have a similar story even though I don’t know the details. I understand. Thank you for all the wonderful work., and your dedication to the human race
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by surprise, unexpectantly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
This was SO INCREDIBLE!! Kyle and Dr Ramani are a great asset for the world! Thank you for this most interesting Humanistic Therapy! I agree with Kyle, this was really good!
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by surprise, unexpectantly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
Like Kyle, I have been tired all of my life and I am older. I have no known "physical" illnesses that would be contributing factors. Depression started for me when I was 17, whereas the chronic fatigue seems to be normal for me.
After 8 long years of battling with insecurities, low self-esteem, with constant fear of the knowledge I could infect someone with HSV 1&2 was a nightmare to me. I'm so glad/grateful that I am over Herpes and its stigma! All thanks to Dr. Aloha ua-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html ❤️🙏🏻🍃
Bravo to both Kyle and Dr. Ramani. This is the session I needed to have/hear. I gave up on my therapy because I just couldn't reach where I needed to with my counselor. Like Kyle, on paper my like looks great! I've reached retirement (after working hard for 34+ years) I don't feel right or "ok" unless I'm either volunteering, giving to charities, feeding the homeless, delivering food through "Lasagne Love Org.", etc. I am a cancer survivor. My parents passed away 6 years ago along with my 16 year old cat, all in a year. I have built a new life with rescue pets. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
Hello Dr Ramani, I believe the term 'internalised homophobia' may of been more appropriate as a descriptor at 15:10 Wonderful interview, thank you for sharing this with us.
Kyle… I am 57 and have had mild lupus most my life. Your disease depletes you of nutrients that help with depression and anxiety. Also some ppl have genes that are predisposed to depression and anxiety. Autoimmune disease can bring on depression all by itself. Also Dr Ramini helped with faulty thinking patterns.. Dont be so hard on yourself… ppl like us are at a disadvantage when it comes to good health since mental and physical health are connected. Exercise and drastically changing my diet for gut and brain health has not only put my lupus in remission but helped my depression and anxiety also although I am on a low dose antidepressant for now. I had some genetic testing and my genes are bent on some depression but mostly anxiety. It wouldn’t surprise me if you had one or two marks on the depression gene. My lifestyle changes have helped but it doesn’t make it all go away .. just has made it better. So glad you access to Dr Ramini 👍
My mother did get embarrassed by me displaying fear in public. She would verbalize her anger towards me for embarrassing her. I don’t know how many times I told a therapist in our first session. I got punished for being scared on my first day of kindergarten at age 4 because I embarrassed my mother in front of the entire school office staff. The principal stated I can handle this type of child. This stranger put me on her lap. I felt abducted, and I kicked her leg and cried let me go. I obviously went home that day. That story was continuously told throughout my childhood. I was proud of myself in the 1st grade that I didn’t let anyone know I was scared to be left at school. My mom overreacted whenever I demonstrated my feelings.
This session has been fantastic mind game changer - the comment she said about “being in a toxic narcissist relationship with ur own self” the self-sabotaging theory really hit the nail in my heart just now! Fantastic! Thanks both for making this priceless video!
What I wouldn't give for a therapy session with Dr. Ramani. She is brilliant. Kyle, thank you for doing this. As a disabled woman, but not as 'badly disabled' as others, what you shared resonated so much that I almost cried. I have a good life. However, some days, I have so much physical pain. But I feel bad about it because, honestly, I feel that I should be able to deal with it. You said you felt heard. In some way (with no further comparison) your openness made me feel heard. Thank you to both of you. Genuinely.
I was just having this subjective and valid trauma convo with a friend. She was asking if I felt super privileged when speaking with a cohort that is a refugee and I said of course, but we all live with our traumas. Mine are still valid to me and my life. Giving ourselves permission to feel bad about our own stuff is crucial.
Woah I just realized I never realized when I was being gaslighted because I gaslight myself and never questioned what was being done to me. Absolutely respect and admire Kyle for sharing his sessions on the internet. I also aspire to be like Dr Ramani in the future
The message about being a better host really resonated with me. LOVE the comparison of how you feel when someone else takes care of you vs when they make you follow their agenda while at their house.
Kyle, that was so amazing, you were vulnerable and your raw truth is incredibly brave. Thank you, this is brilliant. Self judgement and self sabotage are both incredibly damaging
Gosh I had to rewind and play this again! I'm the same despite my life being a car crash im still in an abusive relationship with myself and lack self care. I DO know where all this came from though which is helpful in one way and heart breaking on the other.... I know it could have been so different and is crushing to know those who you trusted didn't have your best interests as first and foremost. The negative voices in our heads most often have been put there from our origins. Walling off was taught to me through many different negative channels direct and indirect and still is, but boy oh boy does it come back and bite! 🙊🙏
Oh - my - goodness. There’s nothing to add here other than this was Heaven sent. Wow. In so many levels. Sorry for being so general in my comments, it’s just that this was a flood of thoughts and feelings. Thank you, Kyle and Dr. Ramani. You are divinely inspired. Thank you. 🙏🏼
I agree a million times over with the doctor's remarks about the structural & systemic issues not being considered in therapy. I'm watching this happen to my son now with his therapist. She's not a bad person, I just see the whole picture not being seen or addressed so that will prevent real healing or progress.
It's really amazing to see such genuine and authentic conversation. Thank you Kyle for being brave enough to go into an unknown experience and be completely honest and vulnerable. I wish all young men could see this and the strength of character you have.
You know what, Kyle - and Dr Ramani, no less - you’re both so incredibly, incredibly authentic, you model the humanness of humanity superbly. Oh, man. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Compassion fatigue is real. I have worked in Hospice for 20yrs. After long periods of time listening/caring for others it becomes so common place that apathy can occur. That apathy csn spill over into personal life. Then comes guilt for feeling apathetic. Acknowledging the feelings u have instead of judging them is very important.
Kyle, thank you so much for being so open and vulnerable to help us learn. That takes so much courage and it really speaks to how much you genuinely care about people. Thanks to you being so willing to show us a real example, you’re not only helping people who can relate to your personal story, but also the professionals in training who will better understand this therapy approach by watching this session. I cannot thank and praise you enough 🙏 I hope you know how awesome you are
The struggle is spiritual, your soul is in pain. We are created by God with a purpose and until we follow the path He prepared for us we will keep suffering, even though we use some palliative to face the pain we feel inside, is only a temporary solution. You are a wonderful person and i'm praying for you. God bless you!!
My breaktrough was when I started doing the selftalk that validated my experience it really helps to think how am i feeling right now You have less angry outbursts. You regulate you emotions better cuz you allow yourself to feel them I allow myself to love things feels sad etc.
She is a fabulous therapist. I’m going into becoming a therapist myself and stumbled upon this while doing a bit of studying outside of schoolwork and I find myself taking notes, especially about the aspect of how the outside world and the systematic viewpoints can influence the way we view ourselves.
As a humanistic therapist myself, I find very useful and entertaining in a sense these content. Love your work, dr. Thank you for your professionalism ad humbleness!
I identify with you Kyle as a mixed indigenous person. I can’t change my cultural background. I had to accept my ‘dirty coloured skin’ and love both sides of me 1) the English side who hates my color 2) the indigenous side that loves peace and harmony. You probably know this already but indigenous cultures cherish two spirited people as we believe they see thinks from both sides. I bet you are a great therapist ❣️
I'm so sorry to hear you describe your skin tone as 'dirty coloured skin'. Even if it's in parentheses leading me to conclude other people have given you that descriptor and put that in your head. That makes me sad. No one defines your beauty including your skin colour. You decide that it's beautiful, stick to that and to heck with the words people use to describe your genetic makers that you cannot change and were born with.
Kittelson: I'm feeling guilty for feeling down when other people are being abused and dealing with real issues. Ad: I was sitting down at lunch time and it was just the most uncomfortable thing and finally took my wallet out of the pocket 😂😭 I cant get over this, the timing is just impeccable
Dr. Aremani, I love Love Love and adore you!!! You are Truely the very best therapist!!! You are so lovely, so good listener, ask so damn good questions, give so good examples and pictures.....it's amazing and stunning!!! Then you are so flowing with the the flow, not artificial, down to earth, so human, no judgement,,,,everybody wants to be around you. Much wisdom, experience, knowledge and science.....you are the best. It really is helping people!!!!! You are a blessing!!! And Kyle, brave to be so open and honest....thank you!!!! Brave!!!! Wish you the best!!! You are allowed to feel your feelings. You have something bad to carry, and it's a lot! It's your life, your feelings, your emotions....no reason to feel guilty for this. You are allowed, there is no comparison of who is better or not in his circumstances. You have the right to feel it and take care of yourself, and please you don't have to prove anybody anything, ok? You ar ea human being as anybody else, nothing to prove of. Please free yourself from this nasty thoughts....it's also exhausting. With your history you have to carry a lot and it's ok to feel bad, tired, angry.....allow it to yourself. Don't be this hard to yourself. There's no need to. Please don't read that much of painful,stories....it can be easily to much. It lays a weight on your shoulder. Free yourself. I wish you the best. Greetings to both of you from Karen from Germany.
Thank you for doing the mock session, so that people that won't do therapy can be put in the LIGHT. Letting the feelings out, and sharing them. Then getting feedback and how it helps so much.
You two are helping me so much. Just when I thought I had it all sorted out in my mind... Pow! You lay out POWERFUL INSIGHTS that I am sure are going to make my life much better from now on. Infinite thanks Kyle and Dr Ramani.
This session was fantastic, I feel like I got just as much out of this as Kyle might have :) Thank you both so much for everything you do. I absolutely love that the two of you work so hard to help us take care of ourselves. These tools are what I find to be lacking on most counseling sessions that I have been a part of in the past. So again, thank you very much.
I really like Kyle. He's so honest, relatable and funny. Doctor Ramini is a fantastic therapist. Thank you for posting so many helpful mental health videos 🙏❤️
Kyle, What ever your going through, you got this. You gave this session such power and meaning. I am doubtful many could do that so exquisitely. Thank you and Dr Ramani.
My favourite two people to watch on UA-cam. Thanks for this video. Kyle, big respect!!!! Dr Ramani is AWESOME!!! I can listen to hear daily and it doesnt get annoying or boring ever! Have a good day everyone
I appreciated and was moved by the mock session. I agree with Dr. Ramani about the importance of tying in "person in environment" concept and how naming it seemed so validating and ultimately integrative for him.
This was awesome! Thanks to Kyle for being the guinea pig and Dr. Ramani for the wise advice. As someone who has been receiving psychiatry and therapy for a long time I agree that acknowledging that we as individuals don't exist inside a vacuum has been a key learning that has helped me to exit the ping pong game of "me versus the world" and move productively forward. I also love the advice to sit with emotion without judgement. That mood app sounds cool; gathering and categorizing data can be a huge source of comfort when it feels like life is all over the place. Appreciate you both :)
Thank you, Kyle and Dr. Ramani for this demonstration of therapy. I think that it was intended to show us what this type of therapy is like, but it certainly seems to have become the real thing. Kyle, I hope that you can take in what she has given you. It was beautiful and very gentle. Best wishes to you both.
Ahhhh 😭😭😭. This was soooo good! I love how vulnerable everyone is. I love it! It’s so liberating to be able to go thru therapy n be able to be transparent with others♥️. Even tho I still get depressed as hell sometimes
I didn't think Kyle was gay, I assumed he is an attractive straight guy who is uncommonly self-aware. Thank you for this vid on self-loathing and damaging forms of judgment!
Thank you for being so willing to share your issues with Dr. Romanie, Kyle. Learning by observing a therapy-style interaction is super helpful...better than hearing an interview-style dialogue for me. Much appreciated!
Hello all, greetings from New Zealand. That was a good example thanks Kyle and Dr Ramani, you are doing great work. So many aha moments for not only us but for Kyle in such a short timeframe, even though they do know each other, I feel Dr Ramani is very intuitive and skilled at her craft. I can relate a lot to what was said and discussed, for a very tough topic, being the actual therapy process itself. This was at times an uplifting session, (not always achievable) with Kyles remark about Dr Ramani sounding like his Dad etc. A genuine laugh and connection to be had there. It’s refreshing to experience, as contemplation is a school of hard knocks within itself. Being helped to become aware of how you are actually gaslighting/sabotaging yourself is never an easy lesson, always hard to hear the truth. Both your facial expressions, displays you are engaged and open to being in the moment, especially Kyles responses. Very insightful, keep up the good work. We may be oceans apart, but so glad myself and others have access to this kind of information and educating ourselves is achievable. I am grateful for Dr Ramanis own channel and videos, in which is also a masterful tool to add and align to this therapy toolbox with MedCircle. Thanks team.
oh wow it helped me!, this Mock therapy I think is a format that can help a lot. I realized also what Dr. Ramani says about the systemic information my therapist thinks the same ND it helps to understand the links between us society and our bond forming in our childhood. This is real medicine!...
Dr. Romani, you really are brilliant. How does one stop the self-loathing? I've been in therapy for years & although I have a lot of insight, I still believe I really am worthless.
Thanks you for your honesty. Its totally easy to feel like others have it worse so how can I be sad about this? I feel society and certain people can expect that from us. Like I have food, healthcare, housing, am paying my bills-so what do I have to complain about? Even the most privileged people deal with great pain and it does need to be seen as valid.
Thank you for this. It was very eye opening. I am disabled with chronic widespread pain and I feel so guilty because I cannot do the things that need done, or I push through them and get hit with pain and then get mad at myself. It’s a viscous cycle.
Kyle thank you! This is also a big topic in my life. Imagine, if I tell You that you have it worse than me and you tell Me that I have it worse than you - maybe we can both allow ourselfs to feel our emotions/tierdness,... without guilt. Sounds wonderful to just once feel (bad/sad) emotions, ... without feeling guilty, blaming and shaming myself. Very helpful, thank you again! Greetings from Austria!💜💜💜💜💜
I just want to say Kyle and Doc thanks so much for doing this because it gave me insight to a new angle that I'd not been aware of before watching this. I knew I had a habit of invalidating? Or being "hard on myself" but never saw it the way that it was explored here. Thanks for all the work you do.
You know, I was telling my own trauma stories to a group of friends one time, and one of the friends spoke a bit similarly and talked about how they didn't feel right in joining me in sharing their own trauma, because it wasn't "as bad". This is the way I put it to them to get them to understand that it was OK to share: "I don't believe your pain is any less than mine, and I wouldn't WANT you to go through anything even close to what I went through, in order for you to empathize with me. I do not have to be shot, or lose a limb, in order to understand the horrible pain and trauma that a soldier might have gone through. I do not think that what I went through was "as bad" as the horrors of war, but it STILL was awful and HURT, me. And you have gone through something that was possibly awful and HURT you too."
During the conversation about judging feelings, I felt Dr. Ramani navigating in that direction. With Kyle’s response, then Dr. Ramani’s interaction. I understood what that meant. I do judge my feelings. I believe I have good self awareness; ironically, the first thing I did at that moment was judge myself for not being aware of judging my feelings. This is actually very interesting to me that if I am constantly beating myself up because of feelings, how that can lead to depression. I feel enlightened.
Kyle, I've watched your sessions with Judy Ho, the hypnotist (forgive me for forgetting her name) and this one. Each session was absolutely amazing!! I learned something extremely helpful and insightful from each one. I'm currently seeing a therapist and I feel like I'm getting more from you and your sessions than I am from my own therapist. Thank you is not enough to express how valuable these sessions have been!
I love this channel, it has helped me tremendously while making my escape from a cult. So much shame and fear I carried is sloughing off me and I thank you guys for the work you both do.
Thank you for being so vulnerable! You helped me as if I had been in the therapy session with you. I learned and grew and I am grateful for your willingness to be vulnerable.
This is funny, my sons are upstairs watching "Baba Blast," and I'm watching Kyle for school- much respect! ...plus Dr. Ramani!? A winning combination. Thank you!
Great video! Your videos is so informative and supporting, they have helped me a lot to learn about mental health and understand my own problems better.❤️ I have ptsd, depression, panicattacks and anxiety, I also have been through traumatic events like bullying, mental and physical abuse, been raped a couple of times and been sexually harassed many times so that has obviously made me feel worse about myself. Still feel a lot of shame and guilt about that. I'm 26 years old today and after I graduated school I have been working as a preschool teacher but for the last 2 years I haven't been able to work at all. School was tough, had a hard time focusing and remember things, never raised my hand in class because that was so terrifying, I had a lot of friends but I wasn't someone who made alot of noice in the classroom, I just thought school was so boring and stressful. I didn't have great grades but I made it out without failing. I started using alcohol and other harmful ways to self medicate when I was 13 to deal with all the suicidal thoughts and other feelings I had to keep in Check so I wouldn't burst out crying Infront of people. I was always good at hiding my emotions and adapting to other people , most people never knew I was feeling so depressed. I have always been known among my friends, family and colleagues as happy, positive, calm, trustworthy, a good listener, ambitious, empathic, kind, productive, healthy and beautiful. But little did they know, I never saw myself that way. I hated everything about myself because I'm my eyes I was never good enough and I wanted to be perfect. So when I came out with how I felt a couple of years ago, when I no longer could go to work, I had to explain a lot to many people cause it was hard for them to understand what I had been going through and why I felt the way I did. It was especially hard for my parents to hear and accept that they were one of the reasons why I had felt this way, and why I had never seeked out help earlier but they luckily feel a lot different about it today and we have a really good relationship. However nowadays I feel exhausted all the time and have a lot of anxiety, I take antidepressants and thank God for that because without them I wouldn't be able to survive. The doctors and therapists I'm seeing is still trying to figure out why I'm this way and if I may have another diagnose that could be affecting my mental health. So I have a lot of therapy sessions ahead of me to figure out my problems and how to feel better but it's tough.. I can't imagine how it will get better because I have tried so many things to change but nothing works, and I have had anxiety and been feeling stressed out my whole life so I don't know what it feels like to not have that pain in my everyday life. I have never felt enough and I grew up learning that life was supposed to be hard, stressful. And being emotional,sad and angry was not okay. If I tried to express those feelings I was weak and negative so I learned early in life to keep those feelings inside of me, and to avoid conflicts which made me a people pleaser because I wanted everyone to like me because I certainly didn't. I didn't even thought my family liked me and they were the people who were supposed to love me so that was confusing. I didn't know what love really meant until recent years because everyone who said they loved me earlier also put me through a lot of pain. I know today that my family do love me, they just didn't know better, they didn't know how to how to approach me and my siblings when we were emotional because they weren't raised that way. I also have a few amazing and supportive friends in my life who I'm so grateful and thankful for to have. I still have hope that it will change for me someday. That I can learn to accept myself and live a happier and healthier life.🙏❤️ Thankyou for all the good content you provide us with!
Everyone should realize that no matter what anyone else says about you, you have the power to control your behavior and thus you also have the power to think about what you want.
Oh my goodness, never have I ever met someone like me. Since I was a kid , sleep has been a huge problem. I just want to sleep and no one seems to understand why. Even when I was a kid and forever ! I just can't have a normal life...thanks for being so vulnerable 🌹the guilt for feeling this way!!! Yes!!!!! I am the same and I have such a great life...I just can't enjoy it...
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After 8 long years of battling with insecurities, low self-esteem, with constant fear of the knowledge I could infect someone with HSV 1&2 was a nightmare to me. I'm so glad/grateful that I am over Herpes and its stigma! All thanks to Dr. Aloha ua-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html ❤️🙏🏻🍃
After 8 long years of battling with insecurities, low self-esteem, with constant fear of the knowledge I could infect someone with HSV 1&2 was a nightmare to me. I'm so glad/grateful that I am over Herpes and its stigma! All thanks to Dr. Aloha ua-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html ❤️🙏🏻🍃
As someone who is currently studying to become a therapist myself, I can say: "Damn, she is good at this!".
Dr. Ramami is one of the best
She is terrific, so full of knowledge and, yet, a very real person, Dr Ramani’s metaphors are priceless!
Of course Ramani is good.
But never assume
She has been doing her work for 30 years
She didn't suddenly become good
It takes years to become a good enough practitioner. Many years of study thousands of hours of clinical supervision
Years of experience plus workshops and years of therapy for one's self.
If you think you can just study and it will all just happen then do rethink!
I have people tell me they are therapists and they attended a weekend workshop
One female told me she was a counselor therapist and when I asked about training she told me she studied beauty and skin products!!!
I wasn't very reassured.
Dr Ramani you are amazing!! You have helped me a lot..THANK YOU.
As someone who after 30+ of searching for a decent trauma therapist, all I can say is yes, she's been doing this a long time, but she seems like she's the kind of therapist who has kept on learning all during her career. Don't ever quit learning after you graduate.
Aspiring therapist here. What I like most about her is how genuinely curious she is. It appears that she brings her real self to the session and I believe that provides a sense of safety and trust to her clients. She very efficient at fostering insight and providing spot on interpretations. I like the use of drawing parallels to her work with people in abusive relationships. I'd love to have her as my own therapist!
I have the utmost admiration and respect for Kyle. To put this super personal content in a public platform is brave! Humbling is a great word too! Thank you! Thank you Dr. Ramani!
I agree. He's very brave.
i currently cant afford therapy but this feels like i just had one. sending you much gratitude for doing this.
Free therapy services through NAMI
@@reneeleighkaraoke Thank you so much for this resource! 🙏
I feel that way myself. I will start a journal. I have done before years ago and it was really enlightening
Or can't afford not to not afford therapy.
I am finding the more I listen to Dr.Ramani the more my emotional pain is coming out, gently coming out and that's what I need, slowly. Otherwise I think it would be overwhelming. All the best to you
I like her so much because a lot of therapists you can kind of tell what theyre doing and they sound like a broken record. She just sounds so natural and fluid.
literally. she sounds like a normal human who wants the best for u. a lot of my therapists always sounded so rehearsed it made me feel even worse during every session "I understand that you are dealing with very difficult emotions." Like yea, I'm aware thank you very much. they all sound the same i swear every time I had a therapist they've said this exact same phrase at least once
5:52 You feel guilty for having a normal reaction to your life? Wow this gets me alone, cause i also have this sense of guilt.
6:39 Dr: Do you feel guilty when you feel hungry
K: No.
Dr: ok, but you have access to food, you have a kitchen, I'm guessing, you have money to buy food. So why should you ever feel hungry?
•This leads me to think that we have the idea that what we have in life has to be related to how we feel, when it is not. They are actually two totally different things that are not related. You can "have it all" and feel bad, like you can "have nothing" and feel good, and totally normal. I write this because I have experienced this feeling of guilt, thinking that since I have many facilities in life, I should not feel bad ... When the reality is that the facilities that I have in my life should not determine the way I feel, therefore, I have the "right" to feel bad, regardless of what I have.
7:38 Your viewing stressors or misfortunes or problems QUANTITATIVELY. Anf only if you get over a certain level, is a person allowed to feel bad.
8:28 It's as though you require, or you believe that there are certain valid reasons to feel bad and if you don't have a valid reason, then it's somehow shameful or wrong
•OMG thats mee im literally
having the same expression that he has 🤣
9:08 I don't allow myself to feel normal feeling. I judge the feelings i have unless they are compared to something to warrant those feelings in my head.
9:30 I tried to answer this question to myself and i think is:
1. In my family and social context, my feelings were always invalidated, I was told: that it was exaggerated, that what I felt was silly, the reality that made me have those feelings was denied, they only told me, do not cry or you are not sad.
2. What I felt and therefore what I could no longer do due to what I was feeling always had to do with my lack of strength, with my weakness; It never had to do with the trauma that what I experienced could have caused.
3. I have lived in a context where they have applied gaslighting to me many times, therefore, I have always had the feeling that I am bad in the head or I am crazy, that's why every time I feel bad, I think that it has to do with myself. "mental instability".
4. I have lived in a context where emotions are a hindrance, they are simply hidden, ignored, treated like the dirt you hide under the rug because you don't want to clean.
• A context where the important thing is to have a career that leads to success, meet family expectations and survive; but never feel happy and well emotionally
11:18 You're in an abusive relationship with yourself. The people who are in this relationships, invalidate their partner's emotions and say: what do you got to complain about? Why are you so sensitive? Why are you getting so difficult? Why are you being so.. your acting like a child.. So they invalidate the emotion of their partner who's marely having an experience and they judge them
You're kind of a one-stop shop her Mr. Kittleson, becuase you've sort of done it all in your same person. You have a part of you that gaslights yourself.
12:10 One of the healthiest places we can get a person to is where THEY DON'T JUDGE THEIR OWN EMOTION, cause emotion IS LIKE AIR TEMPERATURE, stand outside long enough, its gonna change. IT PASSES.
Ir we judge the emotional state we're in and shame it, try to wall it off, it will come back and bite us. If we don't allow it to be expressed, we wall it off. Then we have all these compartmetalized parts of ourselves and we don't become a whole authentic person. We're almost our own worst enemy at those times.
We're driving our sense of how we're been allowed to feel from the world. In essence, we've outsourced ourselves
16:08 That self-loathing is magnified thorugh the lens of society, the self loathing doesn't come up from anywhere, it comes fron the biases that society has against any individual that's a member of one or more marginalized groups. That internalization of that is such a quiet process. Sometimes we're not even aware of it. Then we may turn it inward, judge our emotions, judge ourselves, label ourselves negatively AND WE'LL THINK THIS IS ALL AN INTERNAL PROCESS, when in some ways that process is society. We internalize this messages from society and we think they're our own
How much you judging something as integral and human as your own emotions is sort of a lifetime having judged yourself and who you are
I would LOVE Dr. Ramani to be my therapist. She is intelligent in every way. And Kyle, what an endearing person you are... Love you both.
Take home message with my own analogy: Person 1 experiences the loss of a child, which is devastating. Person 2 experiences the loss of 2 children, which is of course also devastating. This horrible loss does not negate the devastation of Person 1. So many of us are our own worst enemies when it comes to negating our own experiences.
Word.
Thank you for being vulnerable, Kyle!
Listening to the hardships that others go through is very emotionally draining, and your feelings are valid. 💜
I really love the way his nervous system was really transparent when he was processing the new, authentic truth. He kept saying " you're right, you're right, I don't want to talk anymore..." Beautiful. Nature rocks!
It’s brave to share all of this for everyone to hear.
She's such a superstar!!!! I love her!
As atherapist, she is the therapist I hope I'm becoming.
You can do it!
Maybe the interview got better over time, but in the beginning i winced several times watching her. Around 2:40 she leads with a question that assumes he has no idea where any of this is coming from. On it's own, that would have been fine, but at 2:58 he says "I was diagnosed with depression at age 9." She then goes into what seems like her needing to show him how much she knows about autoimmune diseases being impacted by stress. Very disconnected? Maybe the telehealth format was in the way of her getting the necessary non-verbals? It just felt like she was trying to impress rather than inform. Immediately after that, at 3:47 (less than a minute after he stated THE AGE THAT he was diagnosed with depression), she asks him how long he has had depression. After watching some of Kyle's sessions with Dr. Ho, I found this exchange disappointing to the extent that I stopped when she asked him a question to something he shared 49 seconds earlier. I've seen better from graduate students when we did case presentations. Dr. Miller's research speaks to directly to this.
Her genuine empathy is very rare in that world. I used to work with children and families and witnessed few like Dr Ramani. She is kindness personified.
Gosh when I look at Kyle, and I think about how much I respect and care for him, his journey, his honesty, and all the work he's done to fight for himself, others, and the overall destigmatization of mental health in general, I feel so inspired and it makes me think that all of what I am doing to keep thriving isn't worth disregarding.
We love you Kyle, every day that you wake up to fight, encourages me to not abandon my fight. :) Thank you!
I really wanted to give all of you a hug. You have helped so many people, and you should be exempt from any of your pain. Dr. Ramani, I feel as if we have a similar story even though I don’t know the details. I understand. Thank you for all the wonderful work., and your dedication to the human race
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by surprise, unexpectantly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death.
While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.
Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.
It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
This was SO INCREDIBLE!! Kyle and Dr Ramani are a great asset for the world! Thank you for this most interesting Humanistic Therapy! I agree with Kyle, this was really good!
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by surprise, unexpectantly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death.
While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.
Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.
It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
"You have a part of you that gaslights yourself" . Mic drop. Dr. Ramani is amazing; the recap is really helpful as well. Thanks MedCircle!
Like Kyle, I have been tired all of my life and I am older. I have no known "physical" illnesses that would be contributing factors. Depression started for me when I was 17, whereas the chronic fatigue seems to be normal for me.
After 8 long years of battling with insecurities, low self-esteem, with constant fear of the knowledge I could infect someone with HSV 1&2 was a nightmare to me. I'm so glad/grateful that I am over Herpes and its stigma! All thanks to Dr. Aloha ua-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html ❤️🙏🏻🍃
Bravo to both Kyle and Dr. Ramani. This is the session I needed to have/hear. I gave up on my therapy because I just couldn't reach where I needed to with my counselor. Like Kyle, on paper my like looks great! I've reached retirement (after working hard for 34+ years) I don't feel right or "ok" unless I'm either volunteering, giving to charities, feeding the homeless, delivering food through "Lasagne Love Org.", etc. I am a cancer survivor. My parents passed away 6 years ago along with my 16 year old cat, all in a year. I have built a new life with rescue pets. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
You are constantly seeking the truth, congratulations young man, you’re a great role model.
Dr Ramani is so great - every time i watch her its like a personal therapy session, Thank you Kyle, thank you Dr Ramani!
Hello Dr Ramani, I believe the term 'internalised homophobia' may of been more appropriate as a descriptor at 15:10
Wonderful interview, thank you for sharing this with us.
Kyle… I am 57 and have had mild lupus most my life. Your disease depletes you of nutrients that help with depression and anxiety. Also some ppl have genes that are predisposed to depression and anxiety. Autoimmune disease can bring on depression all by itself. Also Dr Ramini helped with faulty thinking patterns.. Dont be so hard on yourself… ppl like us are at a disadvantage when it comes to good health since mental and physical health are connected. Exercise and drastically changing my diet for gut and brain health has not only put my lupus in remission but helped my depression and anxiety also although I am on a low dose antidepressant for now. I had some genetic testing and my genes are bent on some depression but mostly anxiety. It wouldn’t surprise me if you had one or two marks on the depression gene. My lifestyle changes have helped but it doesn’t make it all go away .. just has made it better. So glad you access to Dr Ramini 👍
Dr. Ramani....nails deeper issues within one session..so many important questions about emotions being addressed....
My mother did get embarrassed by me displaying fear in public. She would verbalize her anger towards me for embarrassing her.
I don’t know how many times I told a therapist in our first session. I got punished for being scared on my first day of kindergarten at age 4 because I embarrassed my mother in front of the entire school office staff. The principal stated I can handle this type of child. This stranger put me on her lap. I felt abducted, and I kicked her leg and cried let me go. I obviously went home that day. That story was continuously told throughout my childhood. I was proud of myself in the 1st grade that I didn’t let anyone know I was scared to be left at school.
My mom overreacted whenever I demonstrated my feelings.
This session has been fantastic mind game changer - the comment she said about “being in a toxic narcissist relationship with ur own self” the self-sabotaging theory really hit the nail in my heart just now! Fantastic! Thanks both for making this priceless video!
What I wouldn't give for a therapy session with Dr. Ramani. She is brilliant. Kyle, thank you for doing this. As a disabled woman, but not as 'badly disabled' as others, what you shared resonated so much that I almost cried. I have a good life. However, some days, I have so much physical pain. But I feel bad about it because, honestly, I feel that I should be able to deal with it. You said you felt heard. In some way (with no further comparison) your openness made me feel heard. Thank you to both of you. Genuinely.
I was just having this subjective and valid trauma convo with a friend. She was asking if I felt super privileged when speaking with a cohort that is a refugee and I said of course, but we all live with our traumas. Mine are still valid to me and my life. Giving ourselves permission to feel bad about our own stuff is crucial.
Woah I just realized I never realized when I was being gaslighted because I gaslight myself and never questioned what was being done to me. Absolutely respect and admire Kyle for sharing his sessions on the internet. I also aspire to be like Dr Ramani in the future
The message about being a better host really resonated with me. LOVE the comparison of how you feel when someone else takes care of you vs when they make you follow their agenda while at their house.
Kyle, that was so amazing, you were vulnerable and your raw truth is incredibly brave. Thank you, this is brilliant. Self judgement and self sabotage are both incredibly damaging
I agree!
Gosh I had to rewind and play this again! I'm the same despite my life being a car crash im still in an abusive relationship with myself and lack self care. I DO know where all this came from though which is helpful in one way and heart breaking on the other.... I know it could have been so different and is crushing to know those who you trusted didn't have your best interests as first and foremost. The negative voices in our heads most often have been put there from our origins. Walling off was taught to me through many different negative channels direct and indirect and still is, but boy oh boy does it come back and bite! 🙊🙏
Kyle and Dr. Ramani such a great combination. Love watching both. Many thanks Kyle sharing this of himself . Dr. Ramani always nails it.
Agreed! Ramani kills it and Kyle is honest and vulnerable for us all. Thanks to both for a great video!
Oh - my - goodness. There’s nothing to add here other than this was Heaven sent. Wow. In so many levels. Sorry for being so general in my comments, it’s just that this was a flood of thoughts and feelings. Thank you, Kyle and Dr. Ramani. You are divinely inspired. Thank you. 🙏🏼
I agree a million times over with the doctor's remarks about the structural & systemic issues not being considered in therapy. I'm watching this happen to my son now with his therapist. She's not a bad person, I just see the whole picture not being seen or addressed so that will prevent real healing or progress.
It's really amazing to see such genuine and authentic conversation. Thank you Kyle for being brave enough to go into an unknown experience and be completely honest and vulnerable. I wish all young men could see this and the strength of character you have.
You know what, Kyle - and Dr Ramani, no less - you’re both so incredibly, incredibly authentic, you model the humanness of humanity superbly. Oh, man. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Compassion fatigue is real. I have worked in Hospice for 20yrs. After long periods of time listening/caring for others it becomes so common place that apathy can occur. That apathy csn spill over into personal life. Then comes guilt for feeling apathetic. Acknowledging the feelings u have instead of judging them is very important.
This was amazingly helpful. Wow!
Thank you Kyle and Doctor Ramani . I wish I could hug you both. 💜
Kyle, thank you so much for being so open and vulnerable to help us learn. That takes so much courage and it really speaks to how much you genuinely care about people. Thanks to you being so willing to show us a real example, you’re not only helping people who can relate to your personal story, but also the professionals in training who will better understand this therapy approach by watching this session. I cannot thank and praise you enough 🙏 I hope you know how awesome you are
I just love how professional and human this woman is ☺️🌷
The struggle is spiritual, your soul is in pain. We are created by God with a purpose and until we follow the path He prepared for us we will keep suffering, even though we use some palliative to face the pain we feel inside, is only a temporary solution. You are a wonderful person and i'm praying for you. God bless you!!
My breaktrough was when I started doing the selftalk that validated my experience it really helps to think how am i feeling right now
You have less angry outbursts.
You regulate you emotions better cuz you allow yourself to feel them
I allow myself to love things feels sad etc.
She is a fabulous therapist. I’m going into becoming a therapist myself and stumbled upon this while doing a bit of studying outside of schoolwork and I find myself taking notes, especially about the aspect of how the outside world and the systematic viewpoints can influence the way we view ourselves.
We all have our pain and struggles and the need for love, comfort, and support♡
As a humanistic therapist myself, I find very useful and entertaining in a sense these content. Love your work, dr. Thank you for your professionalism ad humbleness!
I identify with you Kyle as a mixed indigenous person. I can’t change my cultural background. I had to accept my ‘dirty coloured skin’ and love both sides of me 1) the English side who hates my color 2) the indigenous side that loves peace and harmony.
You probably know this already but indigenous cultures cherish two spirited people as we believe they see thinks from both sides. I bet you are a great therapist ❣️
I'm so sorry to hear you describe your skin tone as 'dirty coloured skin'. Even if it's in parentheses leading me to conclude other people have given you that descriptor and put that in your head. That makes me sad. No one defines your beauty including your skin colour. You decide that it's beautiful, stick to that and to heck with the words people use to describe your genetic makers that you cannot change and were born with.
Kittelson: I'm feeling guilty for feeling down when other people are being abused and dealing with real issues.
Ad: I was sitting down at lunch time and it was just the most uncomfortable thing and finally took my wallet out of the pocket 😂😭 I cant get over this, the timing is just impeccable
Dr. Aremani, I love Love Love and adore you!!! You are Truely the very best therapist!!! You are so lovely, so good listener, ask so damn good questions, give so good examples and pictures.....it's amazing and stunning!!! Then you are so flowing with the the flow, not artificial, down to earth, so human, no judgement,,,,everybody wants to be around you. Much wisdom, experience, knowledge and science.....you are the best. It really is helping people!!!!! You are a blessing!!!
And Kyle, brave to be so open and honest....thank you!!!! Brave!!!! Wish you the best!!!
You are allowed to feel your feelings. You have something bad to carry, and it's a lot! It's your life, your feelings, your emotions....no reason to feel guilty for this. You are allowed, there is no comparison of who is better or not in his circumstances. You have the right to feel it and take care of yourself, and please you don't have to prove anybody anything, ok? You ar ea human being as anybody else, nothing to prove of. Please free yourself from this nasty thoughts....it's also exhausting. With your history you have to carry a lot and it's ok to feel bad, tired, angry.....allow it to yourself. Don't be this hard to yourself. There's no need to. Please don't read that much of painful,stories....it can be easily to much. It lays a weight on your shoulder. Free yourself. I wish you the best.
Greetings to both of you from Karen from Germany.
Thank you for doing the mock session, so that people that won't do therapy can be put in the LIGHT. Letting the feelings out, and sharing them. Then getting feedback and how it helps so much.
You two are helping me so much. Just when I thought I had it all sorted out in my mind... Pow! You lay out POWERFUL INSIGHTS that I am sure are going to make my life much better from now on. Infinite thanks Kyle and Dr Ramani.
i can not thank you enough for sharing this sessions, I am learning so much I can not put it in to words
This session was fantastic, I feel like I got just as much out of this as Kyle might have :) Thank you both so much for everything you do. I absolutely love that the two of you work so hard to help us take care of ourselves. These tools are what I find to be lacking on most counseling sessions that I have been a part of in the past. So again, thank you very much.
I really like Kyle. He's so honest, relatable and funny. Doctor Ramini is a fantastic therapist. Thank you for posting so many helpful mental health videos 🙏❤️
Kyle, What ever your going through, you got this. You gave this session such power and meaning. I am doubtful many could do that so exquisitely. Thank you and Dr Ramani.
I do admire Dr. Ramani! She was unbelievable! I am a psychotherapist too and I respect her! Wow! What a job!
Wow! Kyle, you are so brave to open up and expose your deep issues with us. Thank you!
Dr. Ramani, we need more therapists like you!
My favourite two people to watch on UA-cam. Thanks for this video. Kyle, big respect!!!! Dr Ramani is AWESOME!!! I can listen to hear daily and it doesnt get annoying or boring ever! Have a good day everyone
I appreciated and was moved by the mock session. I agree with Dr. Ramani about the importance of tying in "person in environment" concept and how naming it seemed so validating and ultimately integrative for him.
Good session. Dr Ramani is very insightful and connects with people. Her ability to connect is key. Love it.
This was awesome! Thanks to Kyle for being the guinea pig and Dr. Ramani for the wise advice. As someone who has been receiving psychiatry and therapy for a long time I agree that acknowledging that we as individuals don't exist inside a vacuum has been a key learning that has helped me to exit the ping pong game of "me versus the world" and move productively forward. I also love the advice to sit with emotion without judgement. That mood app sounds cool; gathering and categorizing data can be a huge source of comfort when it feels like life is all over the place. Appreciate you both :)
Unbelievably brave to be so open about your mental health and sharing with those who have similar struggles. Inspiring. Thank you.
Thank you, Kyle and Dr. Ramani for this demonstration of therapy. I think that it was intended to show us what this type of therapy is like, but it certainly seems to have become the real thing. Kyle, I hope that you can take in what she has given you. It was beautiful and very gentle. Best wishes to you both.
Me too Kyle. I respond as if I where feeling others emotions and feelings. Literally feel what they are feeling
I am always learning new tricks from Dr. Ramani. She is amazing.
Oh and thank you Kyle for being so open to do this.....that takes amazing guts to do it on video for us to watch and see......thanks. X
Ahhhh 😭😭😭. This was soooo good! I love how vulnerable everyone is. I love it! It’s so liberating to be able to go thru therapy n be able to be transparent with others♥️. Even tho I still get depressed as hell sometimes
Such a sweet guy. No wonder people want to tell him their problems. I listen carefully to every word I say. It tells me about myself.
I didn't think Kyle was gay, I assumed he is an attractive straight guy who is uncommonly self-aware. Thank you for this vid on self-loathing and damaging forms of judgment!
She is incredible. Thank you Dr Ramani. Thank you Kyle.
Thank you for being so willing to share your issues with Dr. Romanie, Kyle. Learning by observing a therapy-style interaction is super helpful...better than hearing an interview-style dialogue for me. Much appreciated!
Hello all, greetings from New Zealand. That was a good example thanks Kyle and Dr Ramani, you are doing great work. So many aha moments for not only us but for Kyle in such a short timeframe, even though they do know each other, I feel Dr Ramani is very intuitive and skilled at her craft. I can relate a lot to what was said and discussed, for a very tough topic, being the actual therapy process itself. This was at times an uplifting session, (not always achievable) with Kyles remark about Dr Ramani sounding like his Dad etc. A genuine laugh and connection to be had there. It’s refreshing to experience, as contemplation is a school of hard knocks within itself. Being helped to become aware of how you are actually gaslighting/sabotaging yourself is never an easy lesson, always hard to hear the truth. Both your facial expressions, displays you are engaged and open to being in the moment, especially Kyles responses. Very insightful, keep up the good work. We may be oceans apart, but so glad myself and others have access to this kind of information and educating ourselves is achievable. I am grateful for Dr Ramanis own channel and videos, in which is also a masterful tool to add and align to this therapy toolbox with MedCircle. Thanks team.
Wow, you’re amazing Dr. Ramani and thanks for sharing with us bless you both 💖💖
oh wow it helped me!, this Mock therapy I think is a format that can help a lot. I realized also what Dr. Ramani says about the systemic information my therapist thinks the same ND it helps to understand the links between us society and our bond forming in our childhood. This is real medicine!...
Got goosebumps at that light bulb moment! I wonder how much society-caused shame I've internalized due to growing up Muslim in America
Dr. Romani, you really are brilliant. How does one stop the self-loathing? I've been in therapy for years & although I have a lot of insight, I still believe I really am worthless.
Thanks you for your honesty. Its totally easy to feel like others have it worse so how can I be sad about this? I feel society and certain people can expect that from us. Like I have food, healthcare, housing, am paying my bills-so what do I have to complain about? Even the most privileged people deal with great pain and it does need to be seen as valid.
Thank you for this. It was very eye opening. I am disabled with chronic widespread pain and I feel so guilty because I cannot do the things that need done, or I push through them and get hit with pain and then get mad at myself. It’s a viscous cycle.
Kyle thank you! This is also a big topic in my life. Imagine, if I tell You that you have it worse than me and you tell Me that I have it worse than you - maybe we can both allow ourselfs to feel our emotions/tierdness,... without guilt. Sounds wonderful to just once feel (bad/sad) emotions, ... without feeling guilty, blaming and shaming myself. Very helpful, thank you again! Greetings from Austria!💜💜💜💜💜
I just want to say Kyle and Doc thanks so much for doing this because it gave me insight to a new angle that I'd not been aware of before watching this. I knew I had a habit of invalidating? Or being "hard on myself" but never saw it the way that it was explored here. Thanks for all the work you do.
You know, I was telling my own trauma stories to a group of friends one time, and one of the friends spoke a bit similarly and talked about how they didn't feel right in joining me in sharing their own trauma, because it wasn't "as bad". This is the way I put it to them to get them to understand that it was OK to share:
"I don't believe your pain is any less than mine, and I wouldn't WANT you to go through anything even close to what I went through, in order for you to empathize with me. I do not have to be shot, or lose a limb, in order to understand the horrible pain and trauma that a soldier might have gone through. I do not think that what I went through was "as bad" as the horrors of war, but it STILL was awful and HURT, me. And you have gone through something that was possibly awful and HURT you too."
During the conversation about judging feelings, I felt Dr. Ramani navigating in that direction. With Kyle’s response, then Dr. Ramani’s interaction. I understood what that meant. I do judge my feelings. I believe I have good self awareness; ironically, the first thing I did at that moment was judge myself for not being aware of judging my feelings. This is actually very interesting to me that if I am constantly beating myself up because of feelings, how that can lead to depression. I feel enlightened.
Kyle, I've watched your sessions with Judy Ho, the hypnotist (forgive me for forgetting her name) and this one. Each session was absolutely amazing!! I learned something extremely helpful and insightful from each one. I'm currently seeing a therapist and I feel like I'm getting more from you and your sessions than I am from my own therapist.
Thank you is not enough to express how valuable these sessions have been!
And thank you Kyle for your work and for being so brave 🌷
I love this channel, it has helped me tremendously while making my escape from a cult. So much shame and fear I carried is sloughing off me and I thank you guys for the work you both do.
I do this! I’m an overly sensitive woman who tries to get along in this world. I think I over-analyze myself.
Kyle I felt you so hard through this 💛💛 what an awesome video. Much love to you both
This was sooo good! I needed to hear this today. Thank you Kyle for your openness and vulnerability and Dr. Ramani for your amazing insight.
I get it, so can relate about being tried if awake, and depression since childhood. Sending love and empowerment! 🙏❤️
Thank you for being so vulnerable! You helped me as if I had been in the therapy session with you. I learned and grew and I am grateful for your willingness to be vulnerable.
This is funny, my sons are upstairs watching "Baba Blast," and I'm watching Kyle for school- much respect! ...plus Dr. Ramani!? A winning combination. Thank you!
Great video! Your videos is so informative and supporting, they have helped me a lot to learn about mental health and understand my own problems better.❤️
I have ptsd, depression, panicattacks and anxiety, I also have been through traumatic events like bullying, mental and physical abuse, been raped a couple of times and been sexually harassed many times so that has obviously made me feel worse about myself. Still feel a lot of shame and guilt about that.
I'm 26 years old today and after I graduated school I have been working as a preschool teacher but for the last 2 years I haven't been able to work at all. School was tough, had a hard time focusing and remember things, never raised my hand in class because that was so terrifying, I had a lot of friends but I wasn't someone who made alot of noice in the classroom, I just thought school was so boring and stressful. I didn't have great grades but I made it out without failing.
I started using alcohol and other harmful ways to self medicate when I was 13 to deal with all the suicidal thoughts and other feelings I had to keep in Check so I wouldn't burst out crying Infront of people.
I was always good at hiding my emotions and adapting to other people , most people never knew I was feeling so depressed. I have always been known among my friends, family and colleagues as happy, positive, calm, trustworthy, a good listener, ambitious, empathic, kind, productive, healthy and beautiful. But little did they know, I never saw myself that way. I hated everything about myself because I'm my eyes I was never good enough and I wanted to be perfect. So when I came out with how I felt a couple of years ago, when I no longer could go to work, I had to explain a lot to many people cause it was hard for them to understand what I had been going through and why I felt the way I did. It was especially hard for my parents to hear and accept that they were one of the reasons why I had felt this way, and why I had never seeked out help earlier but they luckily feel a lot different about it today and we have a really good relationship.
However nowadays I feel exhausted all the time and have a lot of anxiety, I take antidepressants and thank God for that because without them I wouldn't be able to survive.
The doctors and therapists I'm seeing is still trying to figure out why I'm this way and if I may have another diagnose that could be affecting my mental health.
So I have a lot of therapy sessions ahead of me to figure out my problems and how to feel better but it's tough..
I can't imagine how it will get better because I have tried so many things to change but nothing works, and I have had anxiety and been feeling stressed out my whole life so I don't know what it feels like to not have that pain in my everyday life.
I have never felt enough and I grew up learning that life was supposed to be hard, stressful.
And being emotional,sad and angry was not okay. If I tried to express those feelings I was weak and negative so I learned early in life to keep those feelings inside of me, and to avoid conflicts which made me a people pleaser because I wanted everyone to like me because I certainly didn't.
I didn't even thought my family liked me and they were the people who were supposed to love me so that was confusing. I didn't know what love really meant until recent years because everyone who said they loved me earlier also put me through a lot of pain.
I know today that my family do love me, they just didn't know better, they didn't know how to how to approach me and my siblings when we were emotional because they weren't raised that way.
I also have a few amazing and supportive friends in my life who I'm so grateful and thankful for to have.
I still have hope that it will change for me someday. That I can learn to accept myself and live a happier and healthier life.🙏❤️
Thankyou for all the good content you provide us with!
Do you meditate every day?
@@SamStone1964 No I don't, I want to but I'm not there yet 😕
How amazing was that? Very relatable. Thank you Kyle and Dr. Ramani for providing this amazing platform.
Thank you so much for sharing and being so vulnerable. This took so much strength. 💕🌠
Dr Ramani is awesome! Thank you so much Kyle for being open to this process.
Amazing and genuine discourse. Dr.R is gifted beyond words.
Everyone should realize that no matter what anyone else says about you, you have the power to control your behavior and thus you also have the power to think about what you want.
Oh my goodness, never have I ever met someone like me. Since I was a kid , sleep has been a huge problem. I just want to sleep and no one seems to understand why. Even when I was a kid and forever ! I just can't have a normal life...thanks for being so vulnerable 🌹the guilt for feeling this way!!! Yes!!!!! I am the same and I have such a great life...I just can't enjoy it...
Dr. Ramani is so great. 🙏 Thank you.