I've discovered you because your video "Setting boundaries: why grown men love little girls" was recommended by the algorithm. I was drawn to your intensity, that thumbnail photo looked at me directly and the title is so provocative but in a good way. The way you speak is so passionate, so authentic and so emotional. I'm very moved by your storytelling and letting people in, really in, when talking about self-doubt and fear and anxiety. You try and share what helped / helps you get through these moments, what you're working on, without making it this neo-capitalist manifesto for boss babe girlies to be more productive. But rather, to return to oneself, to view a certain kind of self-discipline as self-love (I recommend researching the term "tapas buddhism", which has served me a lot) and not to serve others. I'm very, very happy to discover someone as genuine as you on here in 2021.
Heavy on the FOMO PLUS, I really dream of “living” , which makes it hard for me to enjoy my everyday life. social media doesn’t make it any better, seeing ppl my age “living”; accomplishing great things, going on vacations, making good money, being self sufficient, etc
In regard to social media, I try to remind myself that we're simply seeing (and sharing) the highlight reel. It's ironic how so many people compare themselves to people who appear to be doing better yet those very people are doing the same. Social media breaks are great for keeping things in perspective.
This exact same struggle led me to completely abandon my social media accounts (SPECIALLY tiktok and instagram) and realize that I was indeed addicted to social media even though it was ripping my mental health to shreds. Still dont want to go back. Might never comeback, actually. I have never felt more at peace with myself and my day to day boring ass life.
Honestly all women are collectively traumatized, some just don't know how to acknowledge it. I loved when you said everyone's depressed because I've never heard anyone say it but it's what I've been thinking
"The act of getting better, is more painful than not even trying at all, often" .....yep, that deserves a like. I'm not even 2 minutes in and you're already dropping gems :)
this entire video hit me like a TRUCK bro- I'm 19 and I'm struggling with getting things done correctly, I feel like I can't mess up in any way and when I do I tend to think that I'm immature, haven't grown up and therefore I'm a bad person/bad at whatever I do. I'm still trying to tell myself that I am indeed too young and it's okay to fail especially at this stage but it's really hard when it seems like absolutely no one around you is committing those mistakes, only you. ++ feel free to tell/keep telling your stories and struggles, guys! let's work through this together ;)
I'm 19 and I'm going through the exact same thing. It's so difficult to admit that you don't know everything and are immature. I also struggle with procrastination because of the fear of failing. It's hard getting myself to do things despite the possibility of failure.
SAME!! For me it definitely stems from my home. Growing up I didn’t want to fail because I was scared of disappointing my family. It really took some time for me to understand I don’t know everything and with time comes knowledge. I’m not perfect and I tried to be until I realized I’m a human and humans aren’t meant to be.
I'm also 19 and feel exactly the same. It feels like a constant battle of you vs yourself while everyone else has their life completely in order. There is an abundance of pressure coming from every angle at such a young age, it's near impossible to accept 19 is still extremely young. It's ok that we don't have everything figured out, and baby girl trusts me, you're not alone. I'm over here fighting that same battle, and we will get this thing called life down. Promise :)
Learning to give yourself grace and stop your brain from getting in the way of just living life is probably the hardest lesson of the transition into adulthood. My internal monologue goes crazy and most of the time it gets in the way of just doing what I say i want to do. But being nihilistic about life or bashing myself has never got me as far as radical acceptance (and yes that means acceptance of self even when you’re not “where you want to be” yet bc in all honestly that goal post always magically moves up a little further once you’ve achieved something). I definitely want to be a live laugh love girly not a self deprecating self sabotage girly lmao. And if you’re also a 20 something that’s kind of a fuck up, just know there’s a lot more of us than you think even though the tik tik algorithm only shows you the 21 yr old tech industry girl bosses that make 6 figures and live in a penthouse (love that for them tho). Real change occurs with small steps and consistency. Everyone’s life looks different, your journey is your own so embrace it for what it is. If the world is gonna try to beat your ass anyways, at the very least be the one person who is always going to be in your corner cheering you on.
"I did what I did, with the limited information that I had. Just as I'm doing right now." Hearing this feels really freeing. It just made it click for me that I can give myself a break much like I give a break to my younger self. That I'm still just doing the best I can with a limited perspective that will grow over time, and it's ok to not be perfect. I'm sure this seems laughably obvious to some people, but I don't think I really got it till hearing you say it. Thank you, so much :)
You sound exactly like when it takes me months to get (school) work done. I've been comparing this year to every yr before and how this is the best I've ever dealt with finals week and I've not had a mental breakdown or suicidal ideation. So instead of feeling very anxious (100%) of the time It was more like (55-65%) of the time this yr. Celebrating progress and giving myself dopamine for it bc we can't improve in leaps and bounds without the daily tasks, effort, and pep talks. I love your videos and how you speak words to the things my neurons do out of habit from public education and social media trapping the human mind. :))
GIRL I feel like you just cleared and vocalized more things for me in one video than 3 years of therapy couldn’t. Seriously. Suffering is part of the package and so are the lessons you learn with it .Pain is part of life. Period. There is no point in getting stuck looking for the why behind it all bc that will only eventually lead you to blame yourself and consequently hate yourself. Yes it hurts. But its not forever, and its not bc you are a bad person, or bc your life doesn’t have any value. It sure has value, and you will discover it along the way. Believe it.
Used to always make fun of my mom’s “life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain☔️” or something like that. Until I had the biggest breakdown of my life in a period where both of us were going through so much grief but somehow she was dealing with it better than me. I asked her how she does it and she just pointed at that damn wall decoration!! Monica your video made me laugh and it brought me to tears. You might be struggling just as much as anyone of us but your ability to put these abstract, complicated feelings into words and tie it all together helps so much. Not being able to feel joy and contentment because of the fear of pain and grief… I had to pause and write that down. You put a pin right onto what I’ve been struggling with for the past two years as I’ve lost more than I thought was possible and can’t seem to bounce back. I feel more like a child at 18 than when I was 16 and thought I had it all figured out. I feel grief for the person I thought I would be growing into. Getting better is painful but people like you help❤️ You’re such a great role model, to grow up and be able to have an outlook on life the way you do is something to strive for. Thank you Monica!
i’m the only daughter of a single mother who’s an immigrant who didn’t fully heal before having me. i was given the responsibilities at such a young age that you wouldn’t even imagine. she was verbally abusive and physically abusive. and when others stood up for me she was say “she’s my daughter” i was isolated as she was strict about going out and even as a teen she “let” me go out and chill with friends but was always so controlling about it that i just gave up and stayed home. i learned how to navigate at her houser since i was to “emotional and dramatic” . i cooked and cleaned for her while also being told i was lazy, dirty, a disgrace. not many words of encouragement. she was also very controlling when it comes to my life. i couldn’t have mail friends at 19. and wanted my bank passwords. i moved out last year to my own apt at 19 with a paid off car. i busted my ass to get this far while at the same time suppressing many emotions and being in auto pilot telling myself i have to get out of here for my sanity. and now i’m at peace but everything is starting to unravel and i realize how much was taking from me that i don’t even know who the hell i am. still carrying the weight of anxiety and fear of making a mistake. like someone is waiting for me to do something wrong
holy shit this is the exact thing I needed in this moment. you are incredibly intelligent and self aware, while still allowing yourself to feel human emotions and learn from them. I always tell myself and my toddler, “feel the feeling and let it go”. Cheesy almost but exactly true.
This video really speaks to me I’m turning 19 and feel most of what you said about doubt I feel like I’m wasting time or not doing enough and I have to remind myself I am where I am supposed to be right now and I’m doing everything I want to achieve even the small accomplishments that no one else sees (I threw away my razor) it was a big step for me and I’m always trying to grow I’ve been trying to be creative and do the steps I know I have to do in order to start the change I want in my life but it’s hard and speaking up is a hard thing for me as I am farther now than before but I still have a lot to go
the way how u explain and word your thoughts is actually very entertaining and i just feel very comfortable listening to you also what the heck u are so cute 😭
Monica, THANK you for being honest and real with us. Your journey resonates with my own in many ways. Your words are meaningful, meaningful, meaningful. I returned home tonight, feeling underwhelmed, sad, drained and lost even though I spent the weekend trying to relax, meeting people I love, working on my relationships, learning to communicate better, regardless I felt awful. I was procrastinating on a journal entry that feels like a broken record: I work hard and I'm sad, I do my best and I'm sad, it gets better but I'm sad. I stood up to clean my kitchen instead, turned on youtube convincing myself that listening to you would distract me from another task I hate doing. 'getting better hurts' resonated deeply with me, I feel seen, thank you for serving a bowl of openness.
“Freedom means no fear!” - Nina Simone As a 22 year old, I truly appreciate this. Do you have any recommendations to learn more about the true meaning of “karma”?
I vibe with you because you’re recognizing the inner workings of yourself while also poking fun at yourself and helping us put puzzle pieces together that our brains might not have found matches for yet, thank you for this video!
This video really hit me man, I usually put off the urge to write up comments on anything I'm passionate about cos it just feels like I haven't got anything new to say in that moment, but as I'm writing this I recognise how deeply rooted that fear we all have is, to the point where even little things like this feel strenuous and almost like whispering into a void, those two bullies that tell you to do it and that it'd be worthwhile, and the other that seems to strive to strip you of all your remaining self-worth. I have become more aware of this fear perhaps a few weeks ago, and I'm slowly getting better at working on it, facing my own thoughts by myself in silence and allowing myself to remain calm and present in those moments, and it was extremely helpful to hear your perspective with that personal introspection in mind. Thank you Monica, I'm extremely grateful to have come across your work
like it's so crazy that the words you're using to describe how you tend to feel, especially when you feel that doubt and shame is like the EXACT shit i think as well. like WORD for WORD, BAR for BAR.
girl everything you said at like 17:20 onwards. girl. that shit hit me like a fucking brick. i felt that. so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so hard. like. if i could allow myself to cry right now. i'd be crying. god bless you monica
Monica, I don’t know shit about you but what you let a viewer in on but your talks inspire the shit out of me to get in touch with myself and get through anything I’ve put on the back burner. This video was no different in how powerful it’s been. Thank you for the authenticity
I feel so much in common with you. I'm 26, and I realised last year that I'm Autistic and ADHD. I struggle every day feeling like I'm the problem, but realising I'm neurodivergent has been so life changing, it made me realise that I'm not the problem. It's society that does not accept people like us, and expects us to fit into a mould that eventually breaks us beyond belief. You are so strong for sharing your feelings and you should be so proud of the person you are every day. Autism and ADHD go severely underdiagnosed in women and POC and if you haven't already I would do some research into the symptoms of both as I feel they could help you reach a deeper understanding of yourself and find a sense of calm amongst the storm. There are some fantastic Facebook groups around full of people like us. I'm not sure if you will read or see this but sending you so much love and support on your journey. Also I'm not shrek I'm a girl
I feel so seen. I'm an 18 yr old artist and not goin college, a secure path I'd know would "work out". Working through all these things you talked about on a daily basis as a queer black person is wild
Omg😩 not me relating so much i used to think im not depressed bc im not in a constant sadness mode until i told a friend i dont think ive ever been happy for long only for like hours bc smth happen. Thank you so much for this video!
20:52 - 23:10 wowww this whole part! I was doing my makeup watching this but had to stop and replay this part 4 times.... hit hard, going to have to keep coming back to this to remind myself
Vulnerability is such an incredible strength. It’s really validating and eye opening to hear you talk about behavior and thought patterns you’re acknowledging and working to change within yourself. The not wanting to talk about it because of the emotional aspect is something I relate to deeply. Every week, two weeks or monthly, however often you post I personally really appreciate it. It inspires me to continue looking inward
Watching this has to be one of the top times I’ve ever related to something so much. It really makes me want to cry. It’s exactly accurate to thoughts I’ve had on a loop for so long.
My most recent acid trip delivered me many epiphanies, one of which was hilariously realizing that the cliches are fuckin' true! Despite how many times I had read those quotes and rolled my eyes at them, only recently was I able to really understand them. I guess it taught me to not overthink this shit and to stop over-complicating happiness into something unattainable.
Wiki 'Learned helplessness'and read the section on Seligman's experiments. As far as should and must, norms and blame look up Albert Ellis' work, or the Just-World hypothesis (specifically the Melvin Lerner stuff) or the very related work ethic. Worth, for background, reading up on the Asch conformity experiments and the Milgram obedience experiments. You really spoke to a lot of this with evident high EQ. My ASD ass is glad I found your channel.
girl, first I was so fucking inspired I had to make notes on what u said, then I started crying and now I am inspired and motivated but in the same moment inhibited because I know how long and hard the way to go is. I'm gonna keep that inner monologue going trying to learn and fight for better habits of thinking but in the end I will forget Half of it until tomorrow and be on the same road as always, hopefully the notes help getting back on track easier next time. Thanks for sharing, fucking love your way of talking
If we had the brain we have now when we where younger.. but it's unrealistic. Growing up is hard it's not fun, and dealing with the exception we have for our self's is hard. I think that what you have is a gift, being able to go against the flow and being completely honest is not something everyone is capable of. I felt this so much. I just wish you well, I wish us all well, that we may all one day be able to reach inner peace.
Oh man, this hit hard. I was trying to talk to my therapist about exactly this stuff the other day, but couldn’t translate my thoughts into words. This is exactly it! All of it. You’re so incredibly insightful in your videos, thank you for validating me and so many others, and for helping me to understand my own whacky brain and experiences in a different light. I appreciate your content so sooo much
i’m 26 and starting life over. thank you for sharing our thoughts!! you are so genuine and honest and as someone so also prefers videos and youtube as my main content source, i really appreciate you putting this out there. much love and respect 🙏
I'm 14 and I still have a lot to learn but I have been keeping a journal myself and started it when I had become depressed and when I look back to read some of the stuff I wrote down to what I'm writing down, I see so much improvement and that's what lets me know that I'm on the right path. Most of my issues came from hating who I was as a person but now its just mostly love I feel for myself, even when I make stupid mistakes because I know that eventually I'll stray from that stupid mistake even if it takes me a little bit because of the internal conflict I deal with in my head and I also know that I'm not perfect and I never will be, but I can always make improvement to make myself a better person. Seeing this video really opened my eyes a lot more cause I feel much better knowing that I'm not the only one who deals with self doubt. Love your videos~
i’m here, the thumbnail got me and the last/first video of yours that i saw was too good not to… it is in fact deeply intertwined and i came to that realization recently of how much i more there is of it then i thought i was dealing with.
Having a conversation with yourself, in which you are your future self talking in hindsight about your current self’s refusal to take up the proper care for your mental health. I feel that LMAO
This video is so overwhelmingly candid and relatable I haven’t even finished it, I just need some time for my brain to catch up with how on point this is. It feels a bit like I’m having a conversation with someone too since I find myself laughing and nodding and sighing! I’m still young so I have the privilege of not having the biggest problems in the world not to speak of my own home but I do not think I’ve ever felt more validated? Like I’m trying not to cry cause I’m in school lmao- Mental health has definitely been my biggest struggle currently. And yeah, I’m not clinically depressed either… but on most days I don’t feel good about myself at all. However, I was in a much worse place during Covid. So anyways, it’s really nice to get some clarity that I’m being slow with progress but I’m still making it. Uhhh this ended up being a lit longer than I initially wanted so I’ll wrap it up here with a thank you - this was just what I needed.
i couldn't finish watching this i guess i haven't healed yet but i just wanted to say how amazing it is that you were able to sit and talk for over thirty minutes about your experience, which I'm sure was not easy and painful to say the least, to help others going through the same thing or worse
like monica, i have to be honest, your light, your glow is so evident, you are going to blow up. and yes, i know its not all about that, but i the way your words connect is different than literally any other person i have ever watched on youtube, or on any screen, in my whole life. keep believing in yourself girl. and let me tell you, because i know you're gonna do it, it really gives me faith and hope in myself too. because i'm like, if she can feel these ways and she's so clearly going to be successful, then maybe it's okay for me to feel really bad sometimes too, and that's not going to stop my progress so long as i keep going. you're the truth girl. for real.
i really appreciate hearing this. a lot of what you have to say is what an anxious person like me needs to hear. ever since lockdown hit and i began to spend more time alone, i started watching waaaay more YT. so its great to hear level headed voices on the internet.
Okay but I’m 20 and all my life I’ve been thinking and feeling this way and this videos help me to learn and understand wtf is going on with myself more. But like wtf? Why do I feel like this at 20! 😓
PLEASE do a video on practical tips to overcoming slumps. I am begging you. I am setting myself up for self-sabotage and I’d love some constructive, genuine advice.
it’s crazy how many times i’ve felt like you pieced together the spiraling thoughts i’ve been having lately in such a cohesive way! thank you so much for this video, i feel so much more optimistic about this
Okay so you talk about this thing of feeling better and forgetting you ever struggled. I think that that’s a normal mindset for a healthy human. When a person feels good and full of energy there is literally no need, no reason to remember suffering to feel attached to it. I have been depressed in my life and can remember the intense feelings of anxiety but now I’m genuinely just the happiest person. I don’t remember/ care that I’ve been so low. And all these amazing/ intricate pathways ur brain creates to understand your personal suffering and struggles of life, while thought provoking and intelligent, sound so much like products of a depressed mindset. You’re trying so hard with all your intelligence to understand these feelings of negativity, but something so simple as a mood shift will momentarily solve all those problems. And it really is that easy. Imo unpacking trauma, generally obv not in all circumstances, is a very labourous and inefficient way to heal a person. A happy energetic individual will not feel so attached to their trauma and can healthily work around their issues w clear perspectives, unobstructed by all these negative pathways and emotions. It’s so hormonal it’s ridiculous. At least from what I’ve learned and how I’ve healed and how I’ve seen others fail to heal.
Wow, I've never watched a UA-camr/content creator that felt so right and relatable to me. Not relatable like omg wow self-deprecating, but in the way that how you talk about life makes me feel so safe and reassured about how I think about mine
This really helped me in the present moment. Even though I know that the future will hold hard times where I can't recall the rational truth of this video, I'm glad to hold this knowledge rn. Thank you for sharing ✨
god.....virgo and capricorn..... you really do be having my condolences, you can have all of them lmao but forreal, this video was soothing to my soul to hear. i am in the germination stage of trying to get myself to believe that I can do the creative pursuits i have always dreamed of doing. what is it with these mental prisons. even with the privileges of light skin and having shelter, i feel like i should be doing more and more. letting myself wade through the ocean of dark doubts and self resentment for not following my dreams sooner, but also love and compassion for the fearful child that is shivering inside my flesh prison, too scared of getting hurt to shine :( thank u for the great video, made me feel things.
Hey! So alot of what I've heard in your videos really resonates with me as a person with ADHD. It might be worth looking into if you havent already. ADHD is a dopamine deficiency which makes completing simple tasks feel absolutely draining and goes hand in hand with depression and anxiety.
as a fellow cap moon with v little water in my chart i can relate to u and the having to self soothe and blaming yourself for things out of your control big time
Scorpio sun, Virgo mars here. You were basically talking to me through the screen. You really hit my soul with this one, as this is something I’ve been struggling with for a long time and still am. Being the Low key perfectionist I am. You and your videos are so informative and you relate. I love that about you! Keep it up girl. Hope to run into you one day cause you are definitely someone to have a good convo with
Bro it’s the fear, sleeping in your unconsciousness some of the time and then screaming at you on very overwhelming episodes The more you deny (or don’t even realize) it’s there the more the shadow grows, and yea is about being compassionate towards yourself, having a nice close circle as well, and journaling (which is quite new to me but I feel like it’s making wonders) Anyways, that deep fear, is a monster, and I hope by being consistent in those dynamics (self love and good habits), and also with meaningful relationships (´cause it’s way easier to have someone who believes in you as well (and the other way round) and that suffering is crazy hard to overcome alone and at least you can make it kinda fun when there are two of you facing the monsters that you are sharing, if y’all are in a healthy dynamic ofc, and also for creativity, it helps having a consistent spark of light that inspires you that you rediscover every time) IT WILL FADE Or it’s probably more about learning the lessons it’s trying to teach you; and even tho it sucks, you hella grow up once it’s done (and if other stuff create new traumas in your life, well you know the way I think) Anyways: thank you so much for this video; it triggered me a lil bit and then reassured me so I guess it feels like partnership in a way ahahah Also it is so precious for I never heard about in depth self-doubt journeys before and as I kinda came to the same conclusions I feel like I am going the right way I generally love all of your content ❤️ Can’t wait to have a salary and buy you a painting as well Love yaaa
I've always thought I never had (severe) self-doubt until I got called into the Dean's office for a diagnosis on anxiety 😭 I guess sometimes you've been in depression for too long and it's become your default way of living life it's really difficult to notice the signs and symptoms, and what feelings that caused it in the first place. My sun and venus are both in Virgo too 😔 To the people with the same placements, I'm praying for you
yo not only are you gorgeous and super talented but you’re exceptionally articulate and intelligent. literally my thoughts and you verbalize them so well. your videos are helping me out of my little funk 💕
its so funny bc countless times, i find that more of us can relate to one another and whatever phase/internal crises we go thru than not relate, and its a truly humbling reminder that these battles life gives us show mercy for none! but its nice to get together and share our experiences as we may be able to learn from one another. I also always note how just like the moon has phases, so does life!
Whats worse is how you've been in such a dark place almost all your life and you're finally trying to get better. It feels like you are battling an army of the worst demons it hurts so bad and it makes you question everything
Moniiicaaaaa, you literally put into words what I am and have been feeling. Thank you SO much for putting this together and to show up and create despite the daunting noise. Yes please a video for balance as well. Your not alone in this, we love you. I feel You are a blessed gift to this world. Thank you ❤️
i was purposely looking for ur videos tonight because i felt bad about my inability to confront people instantly and you seem to have a way with words, and this video really resonated with me. thank you!! we love u
Girl your monologue in the beginning sent me. I completely agree with everything you said. I am there. The high and lows are harder than just the lows. However, the highs are more rewarding
Wow. I’m only halfway through and I had to comment. Yes, yes, yes to what you said about life being a series of highs and lows and how we grieve during happy moments because we already know that pain and hurt is around the corner. I’ve never heard someone explain it so perfectly.
I just subscribed today after watching your video about boundaries and then you posted this one. Thank you so much for posting and sharing your experience!
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I've discovered you because your video "Setting boundaries: why grown men love little girls" was recommended by the algorithm. I was drawn to your intensity, that thumbnail photo looked at me directly and the title is so provocative but in a good way. The way you speak is so passionate, so authentic and so emotional. I'm very moved by your storytelling and letting people in, really in, when talking about self-doubt and fear and anxiety. You try and share what helped / helps you get through these moments, what you're working on, without making it this neo-capitalist manifesto for boss babe girlies to be more productive. But rather, to return to oneself, to view a certain kind of self-discipline as self-love (I recommend researching the term "tapas buddhism", which has served me a lot) and not to serve others. I'm very, very happy to discover someone as genuine as you on here in 2021.
Yessss this!!!
@YayWhite Genocide fathers fail to love their daughters properly so they get daddy issues
So beautifully said!
Yasss -- thank you for writing this because YASSS it's so true!!! Ahhh!
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Heavy on the FOMO PLUS, I really dream of “living” , which makes it hard for me to enjoy my everyday life. social media doesn’t make it any better, seeing ppl my age “living”; accomplishing great things, going on vacations, making good money, being self sufficient, etc
and it's like girl, if so many of us feel this way, how can it be true??
In regard to social media, I try to remind myself that we're simply seeing (and sharing) the highlight reel. It's ironic how so many people compare themselves to people who appear to be doing better yet those very people are doing the same. Social media breaks are great for keeping things in perspective.
What is living ? Why do you define living that way and is it from YOU or others ?
Ugh I agree I had to take a break from social media to force myself to live more in the moment 💕
This exact same struggle led me to completely abandon my social media accounts (SPECIALLY tiktok and instagram) and realize that I was indeed addicted to social media even though it was ripping my mental health to shreds.
Still dont want to go back. Might never comeback, actually. I have never felt more at peace with myself and my day to day boring ass life.
Anybody have any other channels with people being open and honest about their mental health? This is so genuine I'm so grateful for this content
my fave for the past few months is HealthyGamerGG
Sade Watkins ❤️ she has really good story times & is super insightful
@@monicagreatgal Thank you! I've really enjoyed listening to and learning from your perspective
kai foster is a fave. check her out.
Watch Brittany Simon she’s really good
Honestly all women are collectively traumatized, some just don't know how to acknowledge it. I loved when you said everyone's depressed because I've never heard anyone say it but it's what I've been thinking
So true
"The act of getting better, is more painful than not even trying at all, often" .....yep, that deserves a like.
I'm not even 2 minutes in and you're already dropping gems :)
this entire video hit me like a TRUCK bro-
I'm 19 and I'm struggling with getting things done correctly, I feel like I can't mess up in any way and when I do I tend to think that I'm immature, haven't grown up and therefore I'm a bad person/bad at whatever I do.
I'm still trying to tell myself that I am indeed too young and it's okay to fail especially at this stage but it's really hard when it seems like absolutely no one around you is committing those mistakes, only you.
++ feel free to tell/keep telling your stories and struggles, guys! let's work through this together ;)
SAME LOL im 24
I'm 19 and I'm going through the exact same thing. It's so difficult to admit that you don't know everything and are immature. I also struggle with procrastination because of the fear of failing. It's hard getting myself to do things despite the possibility of failure.
SAME!! For me it definitely stems from my home. Growing up I didn’t want to fail because I was scared of disappointing my family. It really took some time for me to understand I don’t know everything and with time comes knowledge. I’m not perfect and I tried to be until I realized I’m a human and humans aren’t meant to be.
I'm also 19 and feel exactly the same. It feels like a constant battle of you vs yourself while everyone else has their life completely in order. There is an abundance of pressure coming from every angle at such a young age, it's near impossible to accept 19 is still extremely young. It's ok that we don't have everything figured out, and baby girl trusts me, you're not alone. I'm over here fighting that same battle, and we will get this thing called life down. Promise :)
i’m 19 and i absolutely relate to every single thing you mentioned. thank you for your comment
Learning to give yourself grace and stop your brain from getting in the way of just living life is probably the hardest lesson of the transition into adulthood. My internal monologue goes crazy and most of the time it gets in the way of just doing what I say i want to do. But being nihilistic about life or bashing myself has never got me as far as radical acceptance (and yes that means acceptance of self even when you’re not “where you want to be” yet bc in all honestly that goal post always magically moves up a little further once you’ve achieved something). I definitely want to be a live laugh love girly not a self deprecating self sabotage girly lmao. And if you’re also a 20 something that’s kind of a fuck up, just know there’s a lot more of us than you think even though the tik tik algorithm only shows you the 21 yr old tech industry girl bosses that make 6 figures and live in a penthouse (love that for them tho). Real change occurs with small steps and consistency. Everyone’s life looks different, your journey is your own so embrace it for what it is. If the world is gonna try to beat your ass anyways, at the very least be the one person who is always going to be in your corner cheering you on.
"I did what I did, with the limited information that I had. Just as I'm doing right now."
Hearing this feels really freeing. It just made it click for me that I can give myself a break much like I give a break to my younger self. That I'm still just doing the best I can with a limited perspective that will grow over time, and it's ok to not be perfect. I'm sure this seems laughably obvious to some people, but I don't think I really got it till hearing you say it. Thank you, so much :)
You sound exactly like when it takes me months to get (school) work done. I've been comparing this year to every yr before and how this is the best I've ever dealt with finals week and I've not had a mental breakdown or suicidal ideation. So instead of feeling very anxious (100%) of the time It was more like (55-65%) of the time this yr. Celebrating progress and giving myself dopamine for it bc we can't improve in leaps and bounds without the daily tasks, effort, and pep talks. I love your videos and how you speak words to the things my neurons do out of habit from public education and social media trapping the human mind. :))
Proud of you👏🏽
GIRL
I feel like you just cleared and vocalized more things for me in one video than 3 years of therapy couldn’t. Seriously.
Suffering is part of the package and so are the lessons you learn with it .Pain is part of life. Period.
There is no point in getting stuck looking for the why behind it all bc that will only eventually lead you to blame yourself and consequently hate yourself.
Yes it hurts. But its not forever, and its not bc you are a bad person, or bc your life doesn’t have any value. It sure has value, and you will discover it along the way. Believe it.
Everyday I wake up to fight with myself, it's so exhausting. Thank you for your video.
Used to always make fun of my mom’s “life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain☔️” or something like that. Until I had the biggest breakdown of my life in a period where both of us were going through so much grief but somehow she was dealing with it better than me. I asked her how she does it and she just pointed at that damn wall decoration!!
Monica your video made me laugh and it brought me to tears. You might be struggling just as much as anyone of us but your ability to put these abstract, complicated feelings into words and tie it all together helps so much. Not being able to feel joy and contentment because of the fear of pain and grief… I had to pause and write that down. You put a pin right onto what I’ve been struggling with for the past two years as I’ve lost more than I thought was possible and can’t seem to bounce back. I feel more like a child at 18 than when I was 16 and thought I had it all figured out. I feel grief for the person I thought I would be growing into. Getting better is painful but people like you help❤️ You’re such a great role model, to grow up and be able to have an outlook on life the way you do is something to strive for. Thank you Monica!
🫂🫂🫂
i’m the only daughter of a single mother who’s an immigrant who didn’t fully heal before having me. i was given the responsibilities at such a young age that you wouldn’t even imagine. she was verbally abusive and physically abusive. and when others stood up for me she was say “she’s my daughter” i was isolated as she was strict about going out and even as a teen she “let” me go out and chill with friends but was always so controlling about it that i just gave up and stayed home. i learned how to navigate at her houser since i was to “emotional and dramatic” . i cooked and cleaned for her while also being told i was lazy, dirty, a disgrace. not many words of encouragement. she was also very controlling when it comes to my life. i couldn’t have mail friends at 19. and wanted my bank passwords. i moved out last year to my own apt at 19 with a paid off car. i busted my ass to get this far while at the same time suppressing many emotions and being in auto pilot telling myself i have to get out of here for my sanity. and now i’m at peace but everything is starting to unravel and i realize how much was taking from me that i don’t even know who the hell i am. still carrying the weight of anxiety and fear of making a mistake. like someone is waiting for me to do something wrong
holy shit this is the exact thing I needed in this moment. you are incredibly intelligent and self aware, while still allowing yourself to feel human emotions and learn from them. I always tell myself and my toddler, “feel the feeling and let it go”. Cheesy almost but exactly true.
This video really speaks to me I’m turning 19 and feel most of what you said about doubt I feel like I’m wasting time or not doing enough and I have to remind myself I am where I am supposed to be right now and I’m doing everything I want to achieve even the small accomplishments that no one else sees (I threw away my razor) it was a big step for me and I’m always trying to grow I’ve been trying to be creative and do the steps I know I have to do in order to start the change I want in my life but it’s hard and speaking up is a hard thing for me as I am farther now than before but I still have a lot to go
sending you so much love! don’t know u but I think ur doing amazing 😊💗
@@Bea-wi7oy thank you
the way how u explain and word your thoughts is actually very entertaining and i just feel very comfortable listening to you also what the heck u are so cute 😭
yeah she’s beautiful
She is ..
Monica, THANK you for being honest and real with us. Your journey resonates with my own in many ways. Your words are meaningful, meaningful, meaningful. I returned home tonight, feeling underwhelmed, sad, drained and lost even though I spent the weekend trying to relax, meeting people I love, working on my relationships, learning to communicate better, regardless I felt awful. I was procrastinating on a journal entry that feels like a broken record: I work hard and I'm sad, I do my best and I'm sad, it gets better but I'm sad. I stood up to clean my kitchen instead, turned on youtube convincing myself that listening to you would distract me from another task I hate doing. 'getting better hurts' resonated deeply with me, I feel seen, thank you for serving a bowl of openness.
“Freedom means no fear!” - Nina Simone
As a 22 year old, I truly appreciate this. Do you have any recommendations to learn more about the true meaning of “karma”?
sadhguru talks about it
I love Nina Simone
I vibe with you because you’re recognizing the inner workings of yourself while also poking fun at yourself and helping us put puzzle pieces together that our brains might not have found matches for yet, thank you for this video!
You are so relatable!!!! Perfectly put to words how I’ve been feeling. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and expressing your feelings
This spoke to my adhd-brain soooo much. Recently diagnosed at 36 yo.
you're glowing, I see the self and shadow work shining through sis!!!
This video really hit me man, I usually put off the urge to write up comments on anything I'm passionate about cos it just feels like I haven't got anything new to say in that moment, but as I'm writing this I recognise how deeply rooted that fear we all have is, to the point where even little things like this feel strenuous and almost like whispering into a void, those two bullies that tell you to do it and that it'd be worthwhile, and the other that seems to strive to strip you of all your remaining self-worth.
I have become more aware of this fear perhaps a few weeks ago, and I'm slowly getting better at working on it, facing my own thoughts by myself in silence and allowing myself to remain calm and present in those moments, and it was extremely helpful to hear your perspective with that personal introspection in mind. Thank you Monica, I'm extremely grateful to have come across your work
Girl, why do you know how to articulate so well what I only start to understand just now with 25?!
I think at 25 that's when we really become honest or extremely dishonest.
You did it again queen 🙏🏽
like it's so crazy that the words you're using to describe how you tend to feel, especially when you feel that doubt and shame is like the EXACT shit i think as well. like WORD for WORD, BAR for BAR.
its like I found a copy and paste older version of myself, subscribed
girl everything you said at like 17:20 onwards. girl. that shit hit me like a fucking brick. i felt that. so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so hard. like. if i could allow myself to cry right now. i'd be crying. god bless you monica
Monica, I don’t know shit about you but what you let a viewer in on but your talks inspire the shit out of me to get in touch with myself and get through anything I’ve put on the back burner.
This video was no different in how powerful it’s been.
Thank you for the authenticity
I feel so much in common with you. I'm 26, and I realised last year that I'm Autistic and ADHD. I struggle every day feeling like I'm the problem, but realising I'm neurodivergent has been so life changing, it made me realise that I'm not the problem. It's society that does not accept people like us, and expects us to fit into a mould that eventually breaks us beyond belief. You are so strong for sharing your feelings and you should be so proud of the person you are every day.
Autism and ADHD go severely underdiagnosed in women and POC and if you haven't already I would do some research into the symptoms of both as I feel they could help you reach a deeper understanding of yourself and find a sense of calm amongst the storm. There are some fantastic Facebook groups around full of people like us. I'm not sure if you will read or see this but sending you so much love and support on your journey. Also I'm not shrek I'm a girl
I’m 25 and pretty much in the same situation as you are. So I’m thankful for this video. It made me feel less alone
This video feels like a talk with a big sister, your honesty and words are very comforting, thank you
I feel so seen. I'm an 18 yr old artist and not goin college, a secure path I'd know would "work out". Working through all these things you talked about on a daily basis as a queer black person is wild
foreal im only 18 but I feel like I won't get passed this tough time. Im really trying to find peace and get through this I wanna be back normal
Omg😩 not me relating so much i used to think im not depressed bc im not in a constant sadness mode until i told a friend i dont think ive ever been happy for long only for like hours bc smth happen. Thank you so much for this video!
so frickin’ accurate. i cringe because i feel myself reflected. the part of me i don’t want to face.
I needed this so badly. Thank You Monica, you're amazing
Edit- hey fellow capricorn rising
I’ve never been able to put this in words I’ve just been trying to be easier on myself
20:52 - 23:10 wowww this whole part! I was doing my makeup watching this but had to stop and replay this part 4 times.... hit hard, going to have to keep coming back to this to remind myself
Literally feel soo happy finding some who can articulate my thoughts for me LOVVVEEE
I'd literally watch whatever you feel like talking about whenever you feel like dropping a video girl do you I will consume this content ✌
I’m doing exactly this and i went to go like the comment before i realized i already like it last time
@@jimmycharles5087 hahaha
Vulnerability is such an incredible strength. It’s really validating and eye opening to hear you talk about behavior and thought patterns you’re acknowledging and working to change within yourself. The not wanting to talk about it because of the emotional aspect is something I relate to deeply. Every week, two weeks or monthly, however often you post I personally really appreciate it. It inspires me to continue looking inward
Watching this has to be one of the top times I’ve ever related to something so much. It really makes me want to cry. It’s exactly accurate to thoughts I’ve had on a loop for so long.
My most recent acid trip delivered me many epiphanies, one of which was hilariously realizing that the cliches are fuckin' true! Despite how many times I had read those quotes and rolled my eyes at them, only recently was I able to really understand them. I guess it taught me to not overthink this shit and to stop over-complicating happiness into something unattainable.
Wiki 'Learned helplessness'and read the section on Seligman's experiments.
As far as should and must, norms and blame look up Albert Ellis' work, or the Just-World hypothesis (specifically the Melvin Lerner stuff) or the very related work ethic. Worth, for background, reading up on the Asch conformity experiments and the Milgram obedience experiments.
You really spoke to a lot of this with evident high EQ. My ASD ass is glad I found your channel.
girl, first I was so fucking inspired I had to make notes on what u said, then I started crying and now I am inspired and motivated but in the same moment inhibited because I know how long and hard the way to go is. I'm gonna keep that inner monologue going trying to learn and fight for better habits of thinking but in the end I will forget Half of it until tomorrow and be on the same road as always, hopefully the notes help getting back on track easier next time. Thanks for sharing, fucking love your way of talking
Still watching but that piece in the background is breathtaking
this video is legit HEALING ME…..thank you monica
If we had the brain we have now when we where younger.. but it's unrealistic. Growing up is hard it's not fun, and dealing with the exception we have for our self's is hard. I think that what you have is a gift, being able to go against the flow and being completely honest is not something everyone is capable of. I felt this so much. I just wish you well, I wish us all well, that we may all one day be able to reach inner peace.
“we all crave to Live Laugh Love” ur so right and practicing gratitude and thanking myself for the work i do helps a lot!!
Oh man, this hit hard. I was trying to talk to my therapist about exactly this stuff the other day, but couldn’t translate my thoughts into words. This is exactly it! All of it. You’re so incredibly insightful in your videos, thank you for validating me and so many others, and for helping me to understand my own whacky brain and experiences in a different light. I appreciate your content so sooo much
i’m 26 and starting life over. thank you for sharing our thoughts!! you are so genuine and honest and as someone so also prefers videos and youtube as my main content source, i really appreciate you putting this out there. much love and respect 🙏
I'm 14 and I still have a lot to learn but I have been keeping a journal myself and started it when I had become depressed and when I look back to read some of the stuff I wrote down to what I'm writing down, I see so much improvement and that's what lets me know that I'm on the right path. Most of my issues came from hating who I was as a person but now its just mostly love I feel for myself, even when I make stupid mistakes because I know that eventually I'll stray from that stupid mistake even if it takes me a little bit because of the internal conflict I deal with in my head and I also know that I'm not perfect and I never will be, but I can always make improvement to make myself a better person. Seeing this video really opened my eyes a lot more cause I feel much better knowing that I'm not the only one who deals with self doubt. Love your videos~
that's why I changed my previous everlasting wish to "be happy" to "accept the uncomfortable reality of existing"
This is crazy. this is exactly what is happening in my head right now. Thank you!
i’m here, the thumbnail got me and the last/first video of yours that i saw was too good not to…
it is in fact deeply intertwined and i came to that realization recently of how much i more there is of it then i thought i was dealing with.
Having a conversation with yourself, in which you are your future self talking in hindsight about your current self’s refusal to take up the proper care for your mental health. I feel that LMAO
7:02
You Live Everyday. You Only Die Once. -Dwight Schrute, The Office Quote.
This video is so overwhelmingly candid and relatable I haven’t even finished it, I just need some time for my brain to catch up with how on point this is. It feels a bit like I’m having a conversation with someone too since I find myself laughing and nodding and sighing! I’m still young so I have the privilege of not having the biggest problems in the world not to speak of my own home but I do not think I’ve ever felt more validated? Like I’m trying not to cry cause I’m in school lmao-
Mental health has definitely been my biggest struggle currently. And yeah, I’m not clinically depressed either… but on most days I don’t feel good about myself at all. However, I was in a much worse place during Covid. So anyways, it’s really nice to get some clarity that I’m being slow with progress but I’m still making it.
Uhhh this ended up being a lit longer than I initially wanted so I’ll wrap it up here with a thank you - this was just what I needed.
i couldn't finish watching this i guess i haven't healed yet but i just wanted to say how amazing it is that you were able to sit and talk for over thirty minutes about your experience, which I'm sure was not easy and painful to say the least, to help others going through the same thing or worse
like monica, i have to be honest, your light, your glow is so evident, you are going to blow up. and yes, i know its not all about that, but i the way your words connect is different than literally any other person i have ever watched on youtube, or on any screen, in my whole life. keep believing in yourself girl. and let me tell you, because i know you're gonna do it, it really gives me faith and hope in myself too. because i'm like, if she can feel these ways and she's so clearly going to be successful, then maybe it's okay for me to feel really bad sometimes too, and that's not going to stop my progress so long as i keep going.
you're the truth girl. for real.
I cant wait to see everything she will be able to build!! Im honestly so excited for her future and I dont even know this person 😅
i really appreciate hearing this. a lot of what you have to say is what an anxious person like me needs to hear. ever since lockdown hit and i began to spend more time alone, i started watching waaaay more YT. so its great to hear level headed voices on the internet.
The Universe knew I needed this channel.
Dude i would love for you to do some book recommendations on these topics. You have great taste in books
Okay but I’m 20 and all my life I’ve been thinking and feeling this way and this videos help me to learn and understand wtf is going on with myself more. But like wtf? Why do I feel like this at 20! 😓
PLEASE do a video on practical tips to overcoming slumps. I am begging you. I am setting myself up for self-sabotage and I’d love some constructive, genuine advice.
This and the last video is ridiculously refreshing
Lol
"Have you finished those errands?"
you literally speak on everything that is on my mind to a T its amazing
AND YOURE A CAP MOON bro i love us
This made me feel sooooo much better that I am not the only one
it’s crazy how many times i’ve felt like you pieced together the spiraling thoughts i’ve been having lately in such a cohesive way! thank you so much for this video, i feel so much more optimistic about this
Okay so you talk about this thing of feeling better and forgetting you ever struggled. I think that that’s a normal mindset for a healthy human. When a person feels good and full of energy there is literally no need, no reason to remember suffering to feel attached to it. I have been depressed in my life and can remember the intense feelings of anxiety but now I’m genuinely just the happiest person. I don’t remember/ care that I’ve been so low. And all these amazing/ intricate pathways ur brain creates to understand your personal suffering and struggles of life, while thought provoking and intelligent, sound so much like products of a depressed mindset. You’re trying so hard with all your intelligence to understand these feelings of negativity, but something so simple as a mood shift will momentarily solve all those problems. And it really is that easy. Imo unpacking trauma, generally obv not in all circumstances, is a very labourous and inefficient way to heal a person. A happy energetic individual will not feel so attached to their trauma and can healthily work around their issues w clear perspectives, unobstructed by all these negative pathways and emotions. It’s so hormonal it’s ridiculous. At least from what I’ve learned and how I’ve healed and how I’ve seen others fail to heal.
Wow, I've never watched a UA-camr/content creator that felt so right and relatable to me. Not relatable like omg wow self-deprecating, but in the way that how you talk about life makes me feel so safe and reassured about how I think about mine
This really helped me in the present moment. Even though I know that the future will hold hard times where I can't recall the rational truth of this video, I'm glad to hold this knowledge rn. Thank you for sharing ✨
god.....virgo and capricorn..... you really do be having my condolences, you can have all of them lmao
but forreal, this video was soothing to my soul to hear. i am in the germination stage of trying to get myself to believe that I can do the creative pursuits i have always dreamed of doing. what is it with these mental prisons. even with the privileges of light skin and having shelter, i feel like i should be doing more and more. letting myself wade through the ocean of dark doubts and self resentment for not following my dreams sooner, but also love and compassion for the fearful child that is shivering inside my flesh prison, too scared of getting hurt to shine :( thank u for the great video, made me feel things.
I enjoy your openness, perspective and self awareness. I don’t comment a lot but you deserve it.
Coming back to this video because I need to hear this message again. Thank you for posting these videos.
I absolutely love your videos. You're just dropping facts after facts. Dealing with trauma, with shame, with self love, yes please 💜
Hey! So alot of what I've heard in your videos really resonates with me as a person with ADHD. It might be worth looking into if you havent already. ADHD is a dopamine deficiency which makes completing simple tasks feel absolutely draining and goes hand in hand with depression and anxiety.
as a fellow cap moon with v little water in my chart i can relate to u and the having to self soothe and blaming yourself for things out of your control big time
Scorpio sun, Virgo mars here. You were basically talking to me through the screen. You really hit my soul with this one, as this is something I’ve been struggling with for a long time and still am. Being the Low key perfectionist I am. You and your videos are so informative and you relate. I love that about you! Keep it up girl. Hope to run into you one day cause you are definitely someone to have a good convo with
The terror barrier is real
this is genuinely so comforting to watch as someone who struggles with the same issues. thank you so much for putting yourself out there like that
Im so thankful for you. Thank you. Gratitude.
My favourite channel on here omg, so glad I've found it!
this really hit every point i’ve been overthinking about.
Bro it’s the fear, sleeping in your unconsciousness some of the time and then screaming at you on very overwhelming episodes
The more you deny (or don’t even realize) it’s there the more the shadow grows, and yea is about being compassionate towards yourself, having a nice close circle as well, and journaling (which is quite new to me but I feel like it’s making wonders)
Anyways, that deep fear, is a monster, and I hope by being consistent in those dynamics (self love and good habits), and also with meaningful relationships (´cause it’s way easier to have someone who believes in you as well (and the other way round) and that suffering is crazy hard to overcome alone and at least you can make it kinda fun when there are two of you facing the monsters that you are sharing, if y’all are in a healthy dynamic ofc, and also for creativity, it helps having a consistent spark of light that inspires you that you rediscover every time) IT WILL FADE
Or it’s probably more about learning the lessons it’s trying to teach you; and even tho it sucks, you hella grow up once it’s done (and if other stuff create new traumas in your life, well you know the way I think)
Anyways: thank you so much for this video; it triggered me a lil bit and then reassured me so I guess it feels like partnership in a way ahahah
Also it is so precious for I never heard about in depth self-doubt journeys before and as I kinda came to the same conclusions I feel like I am going the right way
I generally love all of your content ❤️ Can’t wait to have a salary and buy you a painting as well
Love yaaa
That intro is too funny XD. I watched a few times already
I've always thought I never had (severe) self-doubt until I got called into the Dean's office for a diagnosis on anxiety 😭 I guess sometimes you've been in depression for too long and it's become your default way of living life it's really difficult to notice the signs and symptoms, and what feelings that caused it in the first place. My sun and venus are both in Virgo too 😔 To the people with the same placements, I'm praying for you
yo not only are you gorgeous and super talented but you’re exceptionally articulate and intelligent. literally my thoughts and you verbalize them so well. your videos are helping me out of my little funk 💕
Every video Ive seen from you so far has deeply resonated with me ... and then you drop that your a Capricorn moon, it all makes sense now!!!
its so funny bc countless times, i find that more of us can relate to one another and whatever phase/internal crises we go thru than not relate, and its a truly humbling reminder that these battles life gives us show mercy for none! but its nice to get together and share our experiences as we may be able to learn from one another. I also always note how just like the moon has phases, so does life!
Whats worse is how you've been in such a dark place almost all your life and you're finally trying to get better. It feels like you are battling an army of the worst demons it hurts so bad and it makes you question everything
Moniiicaaaaa, you literally put into words what I am and have been feeling. Thank you SO much for putting this together and to show up and create despite the daunting noise.
Yes please a video for balance as well.
Your not alone in this, we love you.
I feel You are a blessed gift to this world. Thank you ❤️
I’m a recent sub, and I love your perspective on life. Fucking powerful. Do you fam.
i was purposely looking for ur videos tonight because i felt bad about my inability to confront people instantly and you seem to have a way with words, and this video really resonated with me. thank you!! we love u
Girl your monologue in the beginning sent me. I completely agree with everything you said. I am there. The high and lows are harder than just the lows. However, the highs are more rewarding
i don’t even know you yet this video makes me feel seen and heard. thank you
Wow. I’m only halfway through and I had to comment. Yes, yes, yes to what you said about life being a series of highs and lows and how we grieve during happy moments because we already know that pain and hurt is around the corner. I’ve never heard someone explain it so perfectly.
I just subscribed today after watching your video about boundaries and then you posted this one. Thank you so much for posting and sharing your experience!
as a virgo sun & moon I took NOTES in my journal throughout this video. Is there somewhere we can read more of your words?
all love