Imagine a girl liking you, giving you her socials, and you call her dumb because you can stalk her now and she should have given you her number instead 😂😂
@@sltslt24 I didn’t know that. I just got Insta (because friends keep sending me reels I can’t watch without an account lol) but that’s great. I’m not on most socials so idk if that’s a common thing now but that’s a really smart idea.
The vibes I get from these kinds of guys, is they clung hard to the idea of the "alpha male" or similar schticks to the point where they struggle to make genuine connections.
i mean there are women (and men, i know sooo many male gold diggers who are now broke and in their 50s after failing miserably) who go on dates solely because they believe they’re entitled to money or free meals. it goes beyond “transactional.” i think even a lot of well-meaning people have been brainwashed into approaching dating in a somewhat transactional sense. these men are just a bit more sinister. they treat dating like some kind of predatory game. like they’re genuinely encouraging predatory, manipulative, abusive and controlling behaviour. it’s sick.
When someone says that straight men and women can’t be friends, it’s so unintentionally revealing because it says that you can’t imagine being nice to a woman without romantic reward.
Yeah it’s not that hard unless you don’t know how to treat a woman as a person. It’s like having a sibling bond. Unless you live in Alabama, you don’t really want to pursue your sibling romantically
Crazy as it is. I think most of the real friends I have had in my life were women. I don't know, I have always felt more comfortable around women my whole life. I am autistic, but I don't know what that would have to do with it. I'm sure I'm not typical of most guys. I am decently attractive, I'm straight, and I'm not obsessed with sex. Now days I am pretty solitary. Friggin pandemic messed my noodle up. That sounded bad. My noodle, as in my brain. One day at a time.
That dude saying "what are you going to do to make it up to me" while he is CLEARLY in the wrong, made my skin crawl. Keep that guy away from relationships
@@VinnyI6420true, yet that isn’t the discussion, is it? No one’s saying that all women are angels, just that all men aren’t good, and some are downright toxic and a bit terrifying to date.
I'd do that if it was a man or a woman. If you think me being able to make choices for myself and not revolve my life around you is disrespect, you're being cut out that instant. Watch me ACTUALLY disrespect you and tell everyone who will listen what you think "respect" is
@@sourgreendolly7685 the thing with that is that respect has 2 different meanings.. basically either 1. i will respect you as an authority figure. or 2. i will respect you as a human being. the thing with "respect is earned" is usually said by somebody who wants to be respected as an authority said to somebody who they dont respect as a human.
It is... the problem is I don't think he's actually asked himself it. Or came to the conclusion being controlling is a good answer. But as general advice, it's perfectly reasonable
And that's almost always asked by the kind of guy who's basically begging for a relationship themselves. If you want her that bad, that's what she's bringing to the table.
If a girl tells you she loves you and wants to marry you, tell her no. Tell her you’re in a committed relationship with the grind, and you’re getting pegged later tonight for some bag.
Haha exactly. They put no games when they are legit the ones doing ALL the games. Like who has time for all this pretending and acting besides guys that actually aren't doing much. Also i promise thar making yourself seem busy at the START of a relationship is such a bad thing. You may want try that when you been together for awhile since people don't want date guys that aren't doing shit.. though it's extremely easy for people to find out if you are busy or not... lol My advice is make time for people in the start, then later on go back to prioritizing your work or school because at the point the relationship should be more solid.
Another poor man losing himself to the tragedy that is the gender war. He was captured as a POW by the enemy camp (disrespectful girls) and is unable to pursue his love of the grind until we save him. Stay strong soldier, we’re coming (not in that way though, definitely not)🫡
god, I have been having a crappy time lately and something about this comment (and the replies) caught me so off guard that it really made me laugh. Thanks, y'all.
Fr. All it takes is one crazy man. You might not be crazy, but we don’t know that. We have to treat every man as if he could potentially be crazy at first. Especially since it’s hard to tell as the person who could be a victim. The caution isn’t something to be offended about, it’s a “I want to trust you, but I need to know more/spend more time with you.”
As a bisexual guy, I do NOT understand the straight people that think you can’t be friends with someone of the opposite sex. Like,,, do y’all think I CAN’T have friends????
its a self report. those men are just sluts. ironically, they are also the ones most likely to call women sluts. nothing bad about being a slut, but these men just can’t own up to it.
Many of my best friends in life have been guys. But I'm the "ugly friend" so it's likely because of that. Straight men seem to be incapable of just hanging out with women they find attractive, they've already categorized them as someone they want to pursue. They're only cool occasionally being friends with the ugly girls because they think of them as more similar to one of their guy friends.
I'm a gay woman and still have more women friends than men friends... mostly because men would hit on me for being approachable (read: ugly) and then get pissed when I say I'm gay... cishet men are the worse, honestly.
Back when I was pansexual, my first boyfriend was a gay dude and after finding out I was pan he indeed did not want me to have ANY friends as he was jealous and afraid I'd cheat on him. Not gonna mention the fact he lived with his ex and I wasn't allowed to stay over because of that. Oof, that whole thing was a mess of red flags lol
It’s wild how online advice guys never seem to get into their heads that women have no reason to believe they will not be hurt, if not murdered by men who pursue them. It’s always a risk and even the dudes who seem fairly reasonable are still like “bitches be crazy”. Wild.
My mom always taught me growing up that the worst a guy has to fear is being embarrassed, the worst a woman has to fear is death. Like looking at data over how prevalent this kind of thing is, and just men killing women in general, really has me scared for my bi/pan and straight friends.
@@NeoRena If you mean what a man has to fear from a woman then broadly the saying is right, but if you mean in general then sadly men also have to worry about death from other men
@Luciel my mom isn't super hip on queer stuff, she's been trying though~ And yeah, that's super legit. Queer men should be careful, I used to know a guy that got bad vibes when a date started complaining about Captain Janeway then bolted when said date was in the bathroom and he found a copy of some neo-nazi book under the guy's coffee table....
True, but men also seem to see women as easier targets so I think there might be more of a danger from men to women. It helps that untrained men generally have more upper body strength than untrained women
Another reason why getting someone's social media is better is you can see if they're following creepy men who teach others to be manipulative and controlling af. And immediately block them. 🚩
Also, useful for finding out if the person interested in you is actually already in a relationship… no one with wants to be labeled a “homewrecker” because the other person lied!
I love how he said "you will not disrespect me >:(" and instead of the girl being offended or annoyed she just went "oh, ok, :). Do you forgive ME?" like, that's not gonna happen irl, she's mad at you about something, maybe talk to her about it
Phone numbers can be tied to addresses and are much more dangerous to give out than an insta handle. I bet he knows this and wants to make it easier for him and his creepy ass followers to stalk women by giving the opposite advice.
I just got to the part where he tells young men to shame women for wanting to have a friend around when meeting a stranger (a potential witness?) so yeah he is def aware of what he is doing holy crap 🤮
@@quirkyblackenby His theory of "I can just make new accounts but if you block my number, I'm blocked forever!" It spreads dangerous misinformation that people CAN'T create new numbers or work around being blocked.
I actually wouldn't even know what they are talking about lol. So I would probably ask them to repeat or explain. Thus making the person who said that feel foolish.
The audacity of this man to acknowledge the women who said, "I give socials for my safety" and then saying what if safety wasn't an issue. Like yeah it be fantastic if I didn't have to think about my safety but I do. I've been having to think about my safety for a long time now.
These kind of videos that Jarvis reviews are why I've had straight men call me slurs for hitting on me and being rejected with my casual "I'm gay" and them not believing me... Too many naive and lonely guys get fed these misogynistic and toxic videos and it leads to tragedy for others or therapy for them... but more and more it's tragedy for others.
@@NeoRena Truly proving they're "nice guys" who just aren't "chad enough"... I have never met someone who craves male approval more than cishet men....
Ugh when I was younger I had to switch from telling men I was not into men to saying I had a boyfriend because I found that was usually more effective in getting them to leave me alone. I even once got hit on by a guy while I was _at a gay bar._ And like, sure, maybe it's fair enough to not assume I'm a lesbian (might be pan or something else), but he was so aggressive and in my space in a way that would have been unpleasant in any environment but was especially gross when he was aware there was a decent chance I didn't even swing that way.
I'm sure he has a girlfriend, and I'm sure she is an OK girl. I really don't think he is that bad. His advice really just sounds like the type of bad advice given these days in black communities to fix our people. Since our black men for awhile has been enfeminized and the women been overly seen as masculine. However what the people giving these advice don't understand is there still need to be a balance. I believe a man should be more dominant in a relationship with a woman, however he still has to treat his woman with upmost respect if he wants to make her feel safe also the same vice versa. A lot of these people forget the "respect" aspect of a relationship, which means you can't act like a legit pimp when talking to the woman you potentially love.
I have ADHD and a hard part of it is staying engaged in long conversations, so the idea of someone "holding me to" some form of communication consistently makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I need brain space. Sometimes others need brain space, too, I get that.
I have never considered the 'can I bring my friend' question from that angle. It would probably be a lot less stressful to do a group hang first, and it is much safer as well.
its totally way easier to literally harass people if you have their number, where on social media you can turn off dms or like replies, people can still call you from their phones and friends phones n like spam text you. its more personal, because its literally private direct communication n yeah its more uncomfortable
Every woman I know would 100% insist on NOT hanging out if she's made to feel like you're blowing something off to spend time with her. Aside from feeling like you're inconveniencing someone, it also kind of shows you're willing to blow off plans/responsibilities if something more interesting comes up.
As an autistic person I hate dating, because everyone I’ve tried to get to know has had all these unwritten code’s and laws and I couldn’t understand any of it 😭
"I'm busy, but I'll make time for you" doesn't sound like flattery to me. It's somewhere in the "I don't actually want to spend time with you but I'm too nice to say no" and "I'll give up stuff for you and then eventually resent you for the things you make me give up" camps.
If I had any dating advice to give to younger men, it would be to get them to understand how women can easily be hurt by trusting the wrong person. Respect of consent and boundaries, showing genuine interest, showing yourself to be vulnerable. It all flows from there.
oh thank god. everywhere i go, chicks are constantly falling all over me. it’s gotten to the point where i can’t even leave my room without a FEMALE finding me somehow. but our savior jarvis has blessed us with this video. thank you so much jarvis, you’ve saved my life 🙏
I once gave a guy my social media after he kept pestering me constantly to talk with him. He never contacted me on it but kept insisting that I give him my number every time I saw him at the university. Till this day, I'm relieved that I didn't because another girl did & he would not stop calling her at all hours, trying to convince her to sleep with him.
Had the same experience at university, what is it with those guys?? Dude kept dming me asking for my number, and he literally ran after me on campus if he saw me. I have no idea how these guys have like zero self awareness
@@madeniquevanwyk its not a lack of self-awareness. If they are coming off as creepy and weird its because they usually just do not care- they just want to exploit someone for sex at any cost. That feeling of being "on-edge" that you get when they come around is the same feeling you get when any other predator starts skulking about- hence why they tend to prey on the weak (young girls, girls who are naive, girls w/ no dating experience, girls who are mentally ill, etc)
i don’t think any person will watch this whole video and believe the guy over jarvis 😭. I do understand where ur coming from but i dont think jarvis meant to do that lol
Actually, if a guy insists on being the “dominant” and demands I not “disrespect” him, then I kinda want to know how much he makes. Probably still won’t date him, but I want to know where he gets the gall
There's something so funny about saying if you block a number it's blocked forever as if you can't get new numbers pretty easily. So if some guy wants to stalk you he's not gonna care about a blocked number. ALso this just made me sooo uncomfy.
People in my high school would use that as a bullying tactic. I have a friend who was constantly bullied through text and the kids used that textnow app to make new numbers and keep harassing him after he blocked the numbers. But you can't really do that with social media if you block someone, especially with various account settings to just make or hard for any potential new accounts they might try to use to follow/harass you again
Hey Jarvis, woman here. I usually give my socials to people I am in fact not interested in. Scared of men not being able to take no for an answer and giving my socials then proceeding to block them is usually the safest option!
@@sourgreendolly7685 have you never seen one of those videos of a lesbian like hiding in her car while a man smashes it because “I don’t like men, please leave me alone” was too much to handle? I genuinely understand the strategy of acquiescing in order to escape the situation, because some people seem to feel entitled to any kind of wild behavior they want
I've had the same phone number for 14 years so I'm careful about giving it out. The amount of men on dating sites that block me because I'd rather give them my snap or something other than my phone number is crazy. I don't understand why it matters. You can also make unlimited phone numbers with apps to keep contacting me after you're blocked
That’s wild, I'm pretty careful with my number too and while I haven’t dated a lot, the few guys that asked before I was okay with it were either fibe with staying in the app or asked for my snapchat themselves instead. Guess I've had good luck?
The only thing I’m getting ice cream with is the game. I’m actually married to dating and cheating on the game with my bag, which I’m also inside of. When I get ice cream, I’m putting me on game and I’m putting you in my bag to carry you around with the game. - I need that quote on a tote bag 😂😂😂
if someone i wanted to date responded to "are you single" with "no i'm in a relationship with the grind," i don't think i'd be able to stop an "ohhhh no" from leaving my mouth. i would not think that this guy really has his career together and i should totally date him, i'd think that not only is he expressing disinterest in a relationship, but he also works too damn much to maintain one anyway.
Damn now I know what I've been doing wrong, people were just feeling comfortable with me being around, now I know what I have to change to make them feel unsafe and stalked, thank you for enabling me to keep being alone!
As a gay dude that is typically in a more submissive role I also don’t feel comfortable giving out my number to people. It honestly drives me crazy how often I’m have a conversation with someone through an app then they ask for my number. Then I proceed to tell them that I’m not comfortable giving it out but I’m happy to keep talking on the app we are already on. Then they just stop messaging.
Personally, the whole “play hard to get, make them chase you” kinda thing is so dumb and makes things so much more complicated and triggers insane over thinking. I have never had a good relationship not even situationship that has ended well when the other party has tried that “technique” 💀 Also if someone told me their only game was the grind I’d honestly just stare at them like they started speaking old Latin at me
it’s definitely translating to real life! a man asked me for my number while we were both in line at a dispensary and i said i’ll give him my snapchat and he said “oh so you have a bf then huh? you don’t want me to be calling all wild?” i said “huh?” and he continued to pressure me for my number instead, luckily he was next in line at that point and got taken up to register to order, i got what i wanted and left before he did and i didn’t have to deal with it.
Absolute yikes. That's where u know next time it happens, immediately say sorry im no linger interested. Because that's jjst agressiom on air. Imagine if he got to know u
I’ve had guys give my number to all their friends so they spam call/message me after rejecting them, and to get it to stop I had to pay to change my number. The only thing a social is gonna be able to do is clap back if you’re being inappropriate and that shouldn’t be a bad thing when dating ??
The “i dont have time but ill make time” thing is like basically saying “sure let me just rearrange my schedule and slot you in” its like treating someone and there time as a task or chore
As someone who is pretty busy if I do that it's bc the person means a lot to me. I wouldn't try and rearrange my entire schedule unless the person meant a lot to me. I sure hope it doesn't come off that way to others
here's the thing i don't like about this "dating advice" format -- the assumptions from having a targeted audience in one specific gender, and having a series that says "if a girl asks..." rather than "if a date asks..." like beyond all the heteronormativity issues that come with such a format, it inherently creates an imbalance and a divide between the "man" and "woman" in a heterosexual relationship. by saying "if a _girl_ asks," we're creating the implication that it would be different if a _guy_ asked the same thing. and yeah, there are a lot of things that might vary due to the patriarchy, the whole number vs social media thing being an example, and dating advice should come from an honest perspective that considers the sexism at play. but a girl asking a guy if he wants to hang out shouldn't be any different from a guy asking a girl to hang out. i find it hysterical that this guy is upset at the "gender war" being waged in his comments, and the assumption that there is a divide between the genders, when he established the precedent to begin with by making his advice gender-specific -- implying that girls should treat guys to a different standard.
My ex used to get extremely angry when my friends would hangout with me and he was around but instead of talking about it he’d storm off and get high just to come back and cross my boundaries so please please please just let a girl be around her friends because it would’ve been so much worse if they weren’t there for me
The man can say both "watch out for gold diggers" and "the man should provide and protect". So in his word, women should expect the man to provide for her but not care about how much he could provide?
Things people can do with your phone number: sign up to some random sites where they keep texting you or you know if you were to break up what's going to stop this person from writing it on a wc door? People can be petty.
I did ask a guy out once and he hit me with the “I think I could squeeze you in”….. and just like that, I changed my mind. I don’t wanna keep a ~~king~~ from his ~~gRiÑd~~~
Also I tend to take a guilty until proven innocent perspective when it comes to dudes and this one seems genuine. I think he’s trying to find the nexus of going viral and not being problematic. 🤷♀️ I STILL SAY: the best way to figure out what a woman is thinking is to ask her. But what do I know, I’m just a 𝓯𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮
All men are guilty until proven innocent? :/ I know you don't mean that in a hurtful way, and I'm sure it's based off of your very valid experiences. Still though, it stings. I hope at some point people start to treat you as well as you deserve!
"what he say, if a girl asks you...if a WOMAN asks you", idk if that was just a stutter but if it was intentional, thank you! I know it's a "small" detail but I find it weird how women are commonly called "girls" and that's the norm but to call a man a "boy" is insulting and only used for actual boys, actual kiddies
i personally prefer giving ppl my socials bc then i feel much less obligated to respond to them. typically i don’t want to give them any of my information, and it’s much easier to avoid any actual interaction with just socials
this man is very interesting. i dont think ive ever seen a multidimensional potentially harmful/toxic but aware of his actions and willing to change man. what a specimen.
Wasn't surprised when the guy mentioned the whole "rise and grind" mentality, it seems like people that follow that lifestyle assume relationships are a hustle that can be finessed
I hope this guy grows out of the overthinking-every-interaction-with-women phase. Seems like it’s taking over his life to the point where he made a whole TikTok account about it.
Well put. It sort of scares me when people start to view interactions with individuals as representations of the whole. Respect should be given universally, but everyone has individual preferences and experiences that affect communication and relationships.
I’m more worried about giving out my number despite being able to block because I feel like that’s a bigger deal if you get doxxed for instance. It’s much easier to create a new snap than to get a new number. Plus a lot of the times you can find snap and other socials through your contacts and so they would still “be able to stalk you” that way
i appreciate him being honest and trying to learn in the last few tiktoks he just seems like a nice person who's partially misguided, honestly. hope he finds his way :)
I offered my email (secondary with no last name) to two men who approached me (different situations). Both seems like fine people but am concerned for my privacy and stalkers. They did not accept and wanted me on various social media or phone. The first guy ended with “you probably wouldn’t reply anyway” which was stupid because I offered a line of communication so I said “right I wouldn’t.” The second guy told me to put his number in my phone in case I had regrets. I pretended to do this and felt so weird I wasted time walking around the store to make sure he wasn’t following me.
@@FrenkTheJoy i've gotten asked for a number in a walmart before, and when i said "my mom told me not to" bc i just wasn't personally ready to date at the time he asked if I had snap instead so i went the 'sheltered church girl' route and said i didn't have any socials lol. in my defense it was the best excuse i could think of at the time lmao
@@FrenkTheJoy I've had dudes follow me, a pedestrian, in their cars into my neighborhood. There's a reason people talk about the constant harassment. Too many guys do not care about boundaries.
Don't ever pretend to be busy if you're not. Especially with a romantic interest. Because if they have a lot of free time, odds are they won't want to hang out with someone they know they'll rarely see. I've stopped talking to people twice that I was interested in because of them having very little time.
I don’t use Instagram but I’m definitely giving someone my snap before my number. I 100% agree when you said texting is a personal experience reserved mostly for close friends and family and it’s uncomfortable to invite a stranger into that circle immediately. There’s also much more pressure to txt ppl back than to respond to someone’s message on social media that you might not be checking nearly as often as calls/txts. It’s so weird when they make dating so much more complicated than it needs to be.
If it takes this much strategy to have a simple conversation with someone you just met, imagine how much work it must be to have full blown conversations down the line.. if she should be so lucky that he even sacrifices time away from the game the hustle for her like that. 🙄
If you're young and looking for advice on getting girls to go out with you I'll help. Just be yourself, talk to her like you would a friend, but be respectful of course. If you're struggling to have the confidence for that, work on yourself until you do. Theres billions of women in the world, if one doesn't like you or even breaks up with you, that's okay. Find someone who wants you as much as you want them, trying to convince someone who doesn't is just going to create a one sided relationship.
Also if a girl doesn't like it when you're being yourself then they aren't for you. It's so weird to be like "I have to pretend to be someone else to have someone like me" when you're just lying to them and yourself.
Honestly as someone who's insecure from a long history of "nope" affecting me, the advice this guy is giving reeks of insecure coping. Barring the last clip his advice seems to revolve around suspicion and control. While I don't levy control on people, I do keep a tight grip on my surroundings and schedule, and I have been known to suspect what a lot of strangers say to me. It's a long struggle to feel secure without these coping mechanisms and I'm still working on it, but what I'm getting at is that his advice reminds me of my own coping mechanisms, but against people. I would deem his advice as major red flags personally, though I'm grateful to see he's at least willing to hear dissenting opinions out and understand where they're coming from. When it comes to internet personalities though, I do trust action more than words; after all, we're only privy to a fraction of their lives and are still strangers to us in all reality.
I'm not a woman, but I do date men, and all these dating coach types, and their advice, seems so counter-active to me. If someone isn't THRILLED to be around me, I'd assumed they're not interested. How can these men play hard to get, when they're so hard to want?
12:18 and then probably for the next year you’ll be the story about the weird guy who said he was married to the hustle, and she wont even remember your name because it wont to anywhere
Back when I was dating (married now) I had two accounts on social media. One for people I actually knew and the second was a burner account to give to potential dates. If they turned out to be a crappy dude, I just blocked them. Even if they made additional accounts to try and contact me, it was no skin off my bones. The burner account had no personal info at all but I still posted pics (carefully selected without my face) to make it look like a regular account.
Safety should never be "taken out of the equation" when it comes to relationships. A woman or man deserves to be safe and, if they want to be, independently secure, and if that means keeping a degree of separation between you and the other person (or their assets), so be it. Just be sure to TALK ABOUT these things before you're years into a marriage and furious about your spouse's "secret bank account" or something.
Humans need relationships, platonic AND/OR romantic. Those relationships will never be fulfilling if you are so afraid of getting hurt that you always actively try to be invulnerable.
Idk if I asked someone to the movies or something as a date (man or woman, doesn't matter) and they asked to bring a friend, I'd make sure they know I mean a date first. If they know that and still want to bring a friend, I'd make sure they know I'm comfortable with that, but also ask why. Are they poly? Do they want the comfort and safety net of having a friend and an escape plan of things go south? Do they want to go on a double date? Are there bad vibes and do I need to do some work/self reflection?
@@private755 I don't think that's what Person is saying. Knowing if someone is non-monogamous that early is fair because whether or not you're monogamous can be a dealbreaker. It's a fair question.
@@private755 no they're not obligated to say why, but there's not a reason to withhold that information either. if you answer truthfully and the other person freaks out or tries to talk back, well now you don't have to waste your time on the actual date because you know it's not gonna work out cuz they're not cool with you bringing a friend.
Let’s be real here, there really isn’t any winning when it comes to accepting a strangers advances. He’s attractive and has the vibe you’re into, so you give him your number. He says or does something that makes you uncomfortable so you block him. He makes burner numbers to continue to bug you until he gets bored or moves on to the next point of interest. The same thing has happened to me on instagram. I don’t really know what my point here is except dating is hard and very scary.
I appreciate at least that in his "What do you bring to a relationship?" video he says "sex doesn't count". I personally know way too many people, both men and women, that view relationships as just a way to get to sex. You need much, much more than that in a relationship. That's how people end up with playboys and cheaters.
“I apologize for letting you think you could disrespect me” I guarantee you that’s an instant hang up. If it’s not it’s “fuck you” then a hang up
Id laugh then hang up
Or if you're really classy and have a moment a "well it was nice meeting you" before an immediate hang up
instant end of relationship and relief that it didn't last any longer than it did
Exactly, he don’t gotta worry about it no more now😂
I would love to see him pull that on a woman he's not paying to be in his tik tok
Imagine a girl liking you, giving you her socials, and you call her dumb because you can stalk her now and she should have given you her number instead 😂😂
Fr cause now you blocked and you STILL don’t have my number🙄💅🏽
Does he not know IG can block not only that account but any account that ip address makes
@@sltslt24 I didn’t know that. I just got Insta (because friends keep sending me reels I can’t watch without an account lol) but that’s great. I’m not on most socials so idk if that’s a common thing now but that’s a really smart idea.
Bro got negative rizz 😂😂😭😭
@@sltslt24 EXACTLY
these dudes turn dating into such a transactional thing. like, just enjoy the process of getting to know someone you're interested in.
no one is interested in them so the have to trick women like little shapeshifting goblins that trick people
The vibes I get from these kinds of guys, is they clung hard to the idea of the "alpha male" or similar schticks to the point where they struggle to make genuine connections.
Exactly! I don't understand people who treat dating this way.
i mean there are women (and men, i know sooo many male gold diggers who are now broke and in their 50s after failing miserably) who go on dates solely because they believe they’re entitled to money or free meals. it goes beyond “transactional.” i think even a lot of well-meaning people have been brainwashed into approaching dating in a somewhat transactional sense.
these men are just a bit more sinister. they treat dating like some kind of predatory game. like they’re genuinely encouraging predatory, manipulative, abusive and controlling behaviour. it’s sick.
Came in here to say exactly this! To him, it's a transaction: "I give A and expect to receive B". He must be so miserable...
When someone says that straight men and women can’t be friends, it’s so unintentionally revealing because it says that you can’t imagine being nice to a woman without romantic reward.
Sex zoning all the women in his life, and friend zoning all his bros
Yeah it’s not that hard unless you don’t know how to treat a woman as a person. It’s like having a sibling bond. Unless you live in Alabama, you don’t really want to pursue your sibling romantically
Crazy as it is. I think most of the real friends I have had in my life were women. I don't know, I have always felt more comfortable around women my whole life. I am autistic, but I don't know what that would have to do with it. I'm sure I'm not typical of most guys. I am decently attractive, I'm straight, and I'm not obsessed with sex. Now days I am pretty solitary. Friggin pandemic messed my noodle up. That sounded bad. My noodle, as in my brain. One day at a time.
say it louder for the people in the back
And it could be a sign that they are abusive and controlling of who you can be around.
That dude saying "what are you going to do to make it up to me" while he is CLEARLY in the wrong, made my skin crawl. Keep that guy away from relationships
Its clearly a skit though... on tiktok... dont take it seriously
@@VinnyI6420 Some men do act like this though so we should definitely take it seriously to be more aware of this and avoid toxic people
@@udontevenwannaknowbruv women do too.... it's not exclusive to one side
@@VinnyI6420 lol he's trying to portray a scenario his fans can get by copying him.
@@VinnyI6420true, yet that isn’t the discussion, is it? No one’s saying that all women are angels, just that all men aren’t good, and some are downright toxic and a bit terrifying to date.
It always baffles me how hard it seems to be, for some people, to just be a decent human being
This
The bar is so low
It’s always so ironic too because if they were just nice decent people to be around, women would want to date/be around them. Shocker 🤣
like me
@@DARKXREY exactly mr obi wan
I’m not usually a very sassy person, but if a man said “You will not disrespect me” on the phone, I would 100% respond “Watch me,” and hang up.
I'd do that if it was a man or a woman. If you think me being able to make choices for myself and not revolve my life around you is disrespect, you're being cut out that instant. Watch me ACTUALLY disrespect you and tell everyone who will listen what you think "respect" is
I like this :)
Lol right??! And the lady in the skit responded so positively to it. Like who would respond like that ?
badass‼️
I love this!
“You will not disrespect me.” I don’t even talk to my kids like that. Yikes. 😬
My father did and our relationship is bad, so I think it's emblematic of the problems with the attitude. Good on you for being better 😎
Right up there with "respect is earned" like alright, earn it. (had to tell my mother that)
Yes the hell I will 😂
@@sourgreendolly7685 the thing with that is that respect has 2 different meanings.. basically either 1. i will respect you as an authority figure. or 2. i will respect you as a human being. the thing with "respect is earned" is usually said by somebody who wants to be respected as an authority said to somebody who they dont respect as a human.
My dad tells me that all the time, for "giving him an attitude"
I was mad that he asked me 9 times to fill a water bottle i already filled
"What do you bring to the relationship? Sex doesn't count" is honestly a really good thing to ask yourself.
His assumption that all women would immediately jump to saying that they bring sex is weird.
It is... the problem is I don't think he's actually asked himself it. Or came to the conclusion being controlling is a good answer. But as general advice, it's perfectly reasonable
And that's almost always asked by the kind of guy who's basically begging for a relationship themselves. If you want her that bad, that's what she's bringing to the table.
It would be without the rude assumption that your answer would be sex with his weirdly accusatory tone.
@@metriq8268fucking lol, no
If a girl tells you she loves you and wants to marry you, tell her no.
Tell her you’re in a committed relationship with the grind, and you’re getting pegged later tonight for some bag.
So real
Type shit I be on fr
"if you really like her, tell her you're really busy."
100% this is the kind of guy to put "no games" in his bio
and assumes you're lying when you're busy
I'm busy being lonely and putting myself out there
@@sourgreendolly7685 *20 minutes after a text* "Oh so you're just gonna leave me on read?"
Haha exactly. They put no games when they are legit the ones doing ALL the games. Like who has time for all this pretending and acting besides guys that actually aren't doing much. Also i promise thar making yourself seem busy at the START of a relationship is such a bad thing. You may want try that when you been together for awhile since people don't want date guys that aren't doing shit.. though it's extremely easy for people to find out if you are busy or not... lol
My advice is make time for people in the start, then later on go back to prioritizing your work or school because at the point the relationship should be more solid.
The "No Games" in bio beta vs the "Gamer" in bio chad
Fellas, when a girl asks you if you are single, aggressively tell her your only concern is becoming the next hokage.
I am upon the grind, Naruto
I'm on my purpose
touch of woman is temporary, glory of hokage is eternal dattebayo!!!!!
@wysteria or maybe get a college degree and women might change their mind. Needs rule the world
it's my NINDO, my ninja way
Honestly can't blame him for his mindset. Afterall, he's probably just showing the side effects of being held captive in a parking lot.
He lives in fear of the gender war that keeps him trapped there. He's surviving on rizz and microplastics. Someone save this poor man.
Another poor man losing himself to the tragedy that is the gender war. He was captured as a POW by the enemy camp (disrespectful girls) and is unable to pursue his love of the grind until we save him. Stay strong soldier, we’re coming (not in that way though, definitely not)🫡
god, I have been having a crappy time lately and something about this comment (and the replies) caught me so off guard that it really made me laugh. Thanks, y'all.
It is true that if you stay inside too long you forget women are human beings
We gotta get him outta there
If someone called me and said “I just wanna apologize for letting you think you can disrespect me” that would be followed by “WHO TF IS YOU??”
Hit em with the "......... Bro, what?"
"you'll never be able to take safety out of the equation" THANK YOU I WANT ALL MEN TO UNDERSTAND THIS
Frrrrrrr
Fr. All it takes is one crazy man. You might not be crazy, but we don’t know that. We have to treat every man as if he could potentially be crazy at first. Especially since it’s hard to tell as the person who could be a victim. The caution isn’t something to be offended about, it’s a “I want to trust you, but I need to know more/spend more time with you.”
@@Glaycier same for us since about 80 % of women are absolutely crazy psychos we tend to be scared of you
As a bisexual guy, I do NOT understand the straight people that think you can’t be friends with someone of the opposite sex. Like,,, do y’all think I CAN’T have friends????
its a self report. those men are just sluts. ironically, they are also the ones most likely to call women sluts. nothing bad about being a slut, but these men just can’t own up to it.
Many of my best friends in life have been guys. But I'm the "ugly friend" so it's likely because of that. Straight men seem to be incapable of just hanging out with women they find attractive, they've already categorized them as someone they want to pursue. They're only cool occasionally being friends with the ugly girls because they think of them as more similar to one of their guy friends.
I'm a gay woman and still have more women friends than men friends... mostly because men would hit on me for being approachable (read: ugly) and then get pissed when I say I'm gay... cishet men are the worse, honestly.
Back when I was pansexual, my first boyfriend was a gay dude and after finding out I was pan he indeed did not want me to have ANY friends as he was jealous and afraid I'd cheat on him. Not gonna mention the fact he lived with his ex and I wasn't allowed to stay over because of that. Oof, that whole thing was a mess of red flags lol
@@NeoRena My first relationship was with a lesbian, same shit. The bi/panphobia withon the community is baffling to me.
It’s wild how online advice guys never seem to get into their heads that women have no reason to believe they will not be hurt, if not murdered by men who pursue them. It’s always a risk and even the dudes who seem fairly reasonable are still like “bitches be crazy”. Wild.
My mom always taught me growing up that the worst a guy has to fear is being embarrassed, the worst a woman has to fear is death. Like looking at data over how prevalent this kind of thing is, and just men killing women in general, really has me scared for my bi/pan and straight friends.
@@NeoRena If you mean what a man has to fear from a woman then broadly the saying is right, but if you mean in general then sadly men also have to worry about death from other men
@Luciel my mom isn't super hip on queer stuff, she's been trying though~
And yeah, that's super legit. Queer men should be careful, I used to know a guy that got bad vibes when a date started complaining about Captain Janeway then bolted when said date was in the bathroom and he found a copy of some neo-nazi book under the guy's coffee table....
True, but men also seem to see women as easier targets so I think there might be more of a danger from men to women. It helps that untrained men generally have more upper body strength than untrained women
Bitches be crazy for feeling uncomfy around intellectual behemoths who may decide to commit femicide on a whim.
Another reason why getting someone's social media is better is you can see if they're following creepy men who teach others to be manipulative and controlling af. And immediately block them. 🚩
But if I follow women online, they'll be able to see I'm weirdo!
I actually never thought about doing that…thanks for the advice!
Also, useful for finding out if the person interested in you is actually already in a relationship… no one with wants to be labeled a “homewrecker” because the other person lied!
Oh yeah. Seeing who the other person follows can save us weeks and months of unnecessary headache.
Because if I see he follows Kevin Samuels there will be no first date
I love how he said "you will not disrespect me >:(" and instead of the girl being offended or annoyed she just went "oh, ok, :). Do you forgive ME?" like, that's not gonna happen irl, she's mad at you about something, maybe talk to her about it
I would commit various violent crimes to whoever thought it was a good idea to say that to me
fr I'm catching charges
Honestly felt like porno scripting
I'm afraid that's something that could happen in an abusive relationship.
@@MJ-mp1fx Yeah, I know, but he's framing it like it's something you should do in a normal relationship
"for allowing you to think you could disrespect me" I would become violent
He would be equalized.
Teleports behind him midair with a bat. *BONK* "STUPID!"
And you're part of the problem
Thanks for the tutorial Jarvis! I’m a stalker in progress, but sadly I just can’t make people (especially girls) uncomfortable. Thanks for the help!!!
Nice
You got this!! Cheering you on
Don’t give up! I’m sure you’ll make a great stalker someday! 😊
You’ll get there one day
You've been following me around for weeks and it's making me very uncomfortable your a great stalker
Bringing a friend is definitely a safety precaution and if a man says no that is a red flag 🚩
Phone numbers can be tied to addresses and are much more dangerous to give out than an insta handle. I bet he knows this and wants to make it easier for him and his creepy ass followers to stalk women by giving the opposite advice.
I just got to the part where he tells young men to shame women for wanting to have a friend around when meeting a stranger (a potential witness?) so yeah he is def aware of what he is doing holy crap 🤮
Yup. A number is directly tied to you in a way social media isn’t. I can have an anonymous social media account. Much harder to do that with a number.
@@quirkyblackenby His theory of "I can just make new accounts but if you block my number, I'm blocked forever!" It spreads dangerous misinformation that people CAN'T create new numbers or work around being blocked.
And you can just, *not* share your location on your social media accounts??
@@brett8259 and it’s so easy to make a burner number! Google numbers lets you text for free with wifi.
I would literally cry laughing if anyone seriously told me that their longest lasting relationship was with the grind 😩😭
I can’t believe I have to survive hearing a human person say this
I actually wouldn't even know what they are talking about lol. So I would probably ask them to repeat or explain. Thus making the person who said that feel foolish.
The audacity of this man to acknowledge the women who said, "I give socials for my safety" and then saying what if safety wasn't an issue. Like yeah it be fantastic if I didn't have to think about my safety but I do. I've been having to think about my safety for a long time now.
That’s every girl’s first priority
As a women, i dont date. I just sit in a corner and listen to 10 hours worth of nyan cat
I didn't know this was so relatable lol
relatable
based
Right, cause the world is so fucked that dates are just another workaround to the worst thing imaginable
Slay
Real (I’m ace)
These kind of videos that Jarvis reviews are why I've had straight men call me slurs for hitting on me and being rejected with my casual "I'm gay" and them not believing me... Too many naive and lonely guys get fed these misogynistic and toxic videos and it leads to tragedy for others or therapy for them... but more and more it's tragedy for others.
Funny how quick guys go from finding you attractive to threatening to beat you when you tell them you're a lesbian. So much fun.....
@@NeoRena Truly proving they're "nice guys" who just aren't "chad enough"...
I have never met someone who craves male approval more than cishet men....
@@dinahmyte3749 the rituals are so intricate
@@dinahmyte3749 lol, that is so true. Cishet men seem to crave men more than any other group....
Ugh when I was younger I had to switch from telling men I was not into men to saying I had a boyfriend because I found that was usually more effective in getting them to leave me alone.
I even once got hit on by a guy while I was _at a gay bar._ And like, sure, maybe it's fair enough to not assume I'm a lesbian (might be pan or something else), but he was so aggressive and in my space in a way that would have been unpleasant in any environment but was especially gross when he was aware there was a decent chance I didn't even swing that way.
This guy makes me scared for whoever decides to date him. And it makes me scared for all the women that date guys that take this guy seriously
your scared for a pillow?
@@Sqwidiot Ah, I see what you did there... 😎😂
I'm sure he has a girlfriend, and I'm sure she is an OK girl. I really don't think he is that bad. His advice really just sounds like the type of bad advice given these days in black communities to fix our people. Since our black men for awhile has been enfeminized and the women been overly seen as masculine. However what the people giving these advice don't understand is there still need to be a balance. I believe a man should be more dominant in a relationship with a woman, however he still has to treat his woman with upmost respect if he wants to make her feel safe also the same vice versa. A lot of these people forget the "respect" aspect of a relationship, which means you can't act like a legit pimp when talking to the woman you potentially love.
@@bunnyrabi ok mate, no need to write a whole novel replying to my pillow joke
@@Sqwidiotthey didnt even reply to ur comment? 😭
I have ADHD and a hard part of it is staying engaged in long conversations, so the idea of someone "holding me to" some form of communication consistently makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I need brain space. Sometimes others need brain space, too, I get that.
I have never considered the 'can I bring my friend' question from that angle. It would probably be a lot less stressful to do a group hang first, and it is much safer as well.
its totally way easier to literally harass people if you have their number, where on social media you can turn off dms or like replies, people can still call you from their phones and friends phones n like spam text you. its more personal, because its literally private direct communication n yeah its more uncomfortable
Also, phone numbers have area codes. When I give people my phone number, they now have a better understanding of where I live. I don't like that.
Makes it easier to dox them if they feel like it too
@@gwenethp511You can literally look up someone's address through their phone number. I'll stick with "my phone is off" or "I'm 15"
You can also change your username on most socials preventing them from finding you on other accounts
I’ve never given my # to someone I just met. I don’t see why ppl like this find it offensive that we’re trying to protect ourselves.
Every woman I know would 100% insist on NOT hanging out if she's made to feel like you're blowing something off to spend time with her. Aside from feeling like you're inconveniencing someone, it also kind of shows you're willing to blow off plans/responsibilities if something more interesting comes up.
i've been waiting for this tutorial finally
No way.
omg its debbieee
debbie webbie?? its so fancy seeing you here pookie!!!
omg hey debbb :))
omg Debbie where are your likes
As an autistic person I hate dating, because everyone I’ve tried to get to know has had all these unwritten code’s and laws and I couldn’t understand any of it 😭
"I'm busy, but I'll make time for you" doesn't sound like flattery to me. It's somewhere in the "I don't actually want to spend time with you but I'm too nice to say no" and "I'll give up stuff for you and then eventually resent you for the things you make me give up" camps.
you can stalk someone from anything if you are dedicated enough so this guy's entire argument is literally invalid
You sound experienced
@@DiMagnolia oh uh idk what you're talking about pls don't look outside your window pls pls pls pls pls pls
@@morsibum i looked out there a month ago, why are you still in my backyard smh
@@baldibaldimore6423 don’t worry about it
@@morsibum bro please leave my family is getting worried
It's becoming increasingly clear that men actually don't have a clue what women like
And that they don't care.
If I had any dating advice to give to younger men, it would be to get them to understand how women can easily be hurt by trusting the wrong person. Respect of consent and boundaries, showing genuine interest, showing yourself to be vulnerable. It all flows from there.
Plus for some reason they cannot identify women parts properly.
Plus they can't identify women's parts properly.
Imagine if women couldn't identify men's parts.... It's all so bizzare.
I’m starting to think they don’t actually want women
oh thank god. everywhere i go, chicks are constantly falling all over me. it’s gotten to the point where i can’t even leave my room without a FEMALE finding me somehow. but our savior jarvis has blessed us with this video. thank you so much jarvis, you’ve saved my life 🙏
This just striked me. He doesn't want a gold digger, but he brings up money every chance he gets with the "grind"...
Jarvis's non-toxic masculinity is so refreshing.
Exactly, let's clone him and other dudes like him.
Save this specie.
We need more of that on the gay dating scene, ngl. Masuclinity here can be suuuuuper toxic
‼️‼️‼️
I once gave a guy my social media after he kept pestering me constantly to talk with him. He never contacted me on it but kept insisting that I give him my number every time I saw him at the university. Till this day, I'm relieved that I didn't because another girl did & he would not stop calling her at all hours, trying to convince her to sleep with him.
Had the same experience at university, what is it with those guys?? Dude kept dming me asking for my number, and he literally ran after me on campus if he saw me. I have no idea how these guys have like zero self awareness
@@madeniquevanwyk its not a lack of self-awareness. If they are coming off as creepy and weird its because they usually just do not care- they just want to exploit someone for sex at any cost. That feeling of being "on-edge" that you get when they come around is the same feeling you get when any other predator starts skulking about- hence why they tend to prey on the weak (young girls, girls who are naive, girls w/ no dating experience, girls who are mentally ill, etc)
"Treat her with the same respect you expect yourself to be treated with" *SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE GUYS IN THE BACK*
ahh, yes, I love when men make me uncomfortable. thanks jarvis, for informing the masses. 🥰🥰🥰
i don’t think any person will watch this whole video and believe the guy over jarvis 😭. I do understand where ur coming from but i dont think jarvis meant to do that lol
@@JojoFartballs NONO IM SORRY I MEANT THIS AS A JOKE I SHOULDVE SAID /J IM SORRY
@@JojoFartballs IT WAS MEANT TO BE A JOKE BASED ON THE TITLE
@@citrusune OH MY BAD 😭❤️
@@JojoFartballs ITS OK LMAO
Actually, if a guy insists on being the “dominant” and demands I not “disrespect” him, then I kinda want to know how much he makes. Probably still won’t date him, but I want to know where he gets the gall
I'm sorry, but if a man comes at me with "you will not disrespect me again" oh, lawd, somebody hold me back
There's something so funny about saying if you block a number it's blocked forever as if you can't get new numbers pretty easily. So if some guy wants to stalk you he's not gonna care about a blocked number. ALso this just made me sooo uncomfy.
It's definitely spreading dangerous misconceptions
People in my high school would use that as a bullying tactic. I have a friend who was constantly bullied through text and the kids used that textnow app to make new numbers and keep harassing him after he blocked the numbers. But you can't really do that with social media if you block someone, especially with various account settings to just make or hard for any potential new accounts they might try to use to follow/harass you again
Hey Jarvis, woman here. I usually give my socials to people I am in fact not interested in. Scared of men not being able to take no for an answer and giving my socials then proceeding to block them is usually the safest option!
They can always create another account to harrass you, try give them socials that aren't tied to you.
@@mollybrown3435 My accounts are all private :)
I pretend I don't notice/hear them. The give up faster in my experience but I'm pretty good at looking like there's not a thought behind my eyes 😂
@@sourgreendolly7685 That could be even more dangerous. I just live in a fairly small town, so.
@@sourgreendolly7685 have you never seen one of those videos of a lesbian like hiding in her car while a man smashes it because “I don’t like men, please leave me alone” was too much to handle?
I genuinely understand the strategy of acquiescing in order to escape the situation, because some people seem to feel entitled to any kind of wild behavior they want
I've had the same phone number for 14 years so I'm careful about giving it out. The amount of men on dating sites that block me because I'd rather give them my snap or something other than my phone number is crazy. I don't understand why it matters. You can also make unlimited phone numbers with apps to keep contacting me after you're blocked
they can get your address with your phone number sometimes, that's why they want it. it's disturbing
That’s wild, I'm pretty careful with my number too and while I haven’t dated a lot, the few guys that asked before I was okay with it were either fibe with staying in the app or asked for my snapchat themselves instead. Guess I've had good luck?
The only thing I’m getting ice cream with is the game. I’m actually married to dating and cheating on the game with my bag, which I’m also inside of. When I get ice cream, I’m putting me on game and I’m putting you in my bag to carry you around with the game. - I need that quote on a tote bag 😂😂😂
if someone i wanted to date responded to "are you single" with "no i'm in a relationship with the grind," i don't think i'd be able to stop an "ohhhh no" from leaving my mouth. i would not think that this guy really has his career together and i should totally date him, i'd think that not only is he expressing disinterest in a relationship, but he also works too damn much to maintain one anyway.
I'd be thinking "Oh shit, this is a preteen boy I'm talking to."
So his game is to just needlessly play mind games with every woman he meets at all times? Well that's certainly....something.
Doesnt he get tired?
hes definitely one of the men i have seen this year
He certainly does identify as a man
jarvis correcting “girl” to “woman” was very cool
He’s a good guy
@@CharlieApples true
The best!
Pretty neat on my end
I dont get it? Whats the difference /nm /genq
Damn now I know what I've been doing wrong, people were just feeling comfortable with me being around, now I know what I have to change to make them feel unsafe and stalked, thank you for enabling me to keep being alone!
As a gay dude that is typically in a more submissive role I also don’t feel comfortable giving out my number to people. It honestly drives me crazy how often I’m have a conversation with someone through an app then they ask for my number. Then I proceed to tell them that I’m not comfortable giving it out but I’m happy to keep talking on the app we are already on. Then they just stop messaging.
I find it funny how it's always the guys who say "women are only good for sex" who go, "what do you bring to the table? Swx doesn't count btw"
Personally, the whole “play hard to get, make them chase you” kinda thing is so dumb and makes things so much more complicated and triggers insane over thinking. I have never had a good relationship not even situationship that has ended well when the other party has tried that “technique” 💀
Also if someone told me their only game was the grind I’d honestly just stare at them like they started speaking old Latin at me
I've never been in any kinda relationship with people who do that. I don't wanna be pushy and I'm socially awkward and anxious as is lol
I would cry laughing if someone said that to me
Unironically worse than saying you're dating an anime character tbh.
it’s definitely translating to real life! a man asked me for my number while we were both in line at a dispensary and i said i’ll give him my snapchat and he said “oh so you have a bf then huh? you don’t want me to be calling all wild?” i said “huh?” and he continued to pressure me for my number instead, luckily he was next in line at that point and got taken up to register to order, i got what i wanted and left before he did and i didn’t have to deal with it.
Absolute yikes. That's where u know next time it happens, immediately say sorry im no linger interested. Because that's jjst agressiom on air. Imagine if he got to know u
I’ve had guys give my number to all their friends so they spam call/message me after rejecting them, and to get it to stop I had to pay to change my number. The only thing a social is gonna be able to do is clap back if you’re being inappropriate and that shouldn’t be a bad thing when dating ??
I'm so sorry that happened to you, that's messed up ):
He says he can stalk you with your socials but with a phone number he can find your address much easier. It's an embarrassingly obvious trap.
The “i dont have time but ill make time” thing is like basically saying “sure let me just rearrange my schedule and slot you in” its like treating someone and there time as a task or chore
As someone who is pretty busy if I do that it's bc the person means a lot to me. I wouldn't try and rearrange my entire schedule unless the person meant a lot to me. I sure hope it doesn't come off that way to others
I always love how part of the intro is just clarifying and ensuring us that the premium channel is free.
i also appreciate being reminded that i am, in fact, premium for watching
It is free.
here's the thing i don't like about this "dating advice" format -- the assumptions from having a targeted audience in one specific gender, and having a series that says "if a girl asks..." rather than "if a date asks..."
like beyond all the heteronormativity issues that come with such a format, it inherently creates an imbalance and a divide between the "man" and "woman" in a heterosexual relationship. by saying "if a _girl_ asks," we're creating the implication that it would be different if a _guy_ asked the same thing.
and yeah, there are a lot of things that might vary due to the patriarchy, the whole number vs social media thing being an example, and dating advice should come from an honest perspective that considers the sexism at play. but a girl asking a guy if he wants to hang out shouldn't be any different from a guy asking a girl to hang out.
i find it hysterical that this guy is upset at the "gender war" being waged in his comments, and the assumption that there is a divide between the genders, when he established the precedent to begin with by making his advice gender-specific -- implying that girls should treat guys to a different standard.
My ex used to get extremely angry when my friends would hangout with me and he was around but instead of talking about it he’d storm off and get high just to come back and cross my boundaries so please please please just let a girl be around her friends because it would’ve been so much worse if they weren’t there for me
The man can say both "watch out for gold diggers" and "the man should provide and protect". So in his word, women should expect the man to provide for her but not care about how much he could provide?
He's absolutely never said any of these things to a woman who wasn't imaginary
Honestly you probably won’t be that successful with parenting if you have to verbally demand your child respects you lol
Things people can do with your phone number: sign up to some random sites where they keep texting you or you know if you were to break up what's going to stop this person from writing it on a wc door? People can be petty.
I did ask a guy out once and he hit me with the “I think I could squeeze you in”….. and just like that, I changed my mind. I don’t wanna keep a ~~king~~ from his ~~gRiÑd~~~
Also I tend to take a guilty until proven innocent perspective when it comes to dudes and this one seems genuine. I think he’s trying to find the nexus of going viral and not being problematic. 🤷♀️ I STILL SAY: the best way to figure out what a woman is thinking is to ask her. But what do I know, I’m just a 𝓯𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮
All men are guilty until proven innocent? :/ I know you don't mean that in a hurtful way, and I'm sure it's based off of your very valid experiences. Still though, it stings. I hope at some point people start to treat you as well as you deserve!
@@stevendemayo3631 men do be triflin, Steven.
"what he say, if a girl asks you...if a WOMAN asks you", idk if that was just a stutter but if it was intentional, thank you! I know it's a "small" detail but I find it weird how women are commonly called "girls" and that's the norm but to call a man a "boy" is insulting and only used for actual boys, actual kiddies
6:16 no human being would ever react positively to that. No one will be impressed by that.
i personally prefer giving ppl my socials bc then i feel much less obligated to respond to them. typically i don’t want to give them any of my information, and it’s much easier to avoid any actual interaction with just socials
this man is very interesting. i dont think ive ever seen a multidimensional potentially harmful/toxic but aware of his actions and willing to change man. what a specimen.
internet user realises that people are capable of self reflection
Wait what do I do if I am a girl? Should I stalk myself or the girl because I’ve already bought all the supplies so it’s too late to turn back
You ask a friend if you can stalk her. You can take turns
try lesbianism~
@@elvingearmasterirma7241 thanks! Edit: she got a restraining order against me
@@NeoRena trying it, what now?
@Aaaavaaa leave long standing scars and give them tons of trust issues, that's what some of my exes have done lol
Sometimes I imagine a person who based their entire life on TT advice and they are:
1.) In jail
The 1.) is so funny
As someone who's been stalked via socials I actually agree about the phone number thing. I wait months to give even public socials out now
Wasn't surprised when the guy mentioned the whole "rise and grind" mentality, it seems like people that follow that lifestyle assume relationships are a hustle that can be finessed
I hope this guy grows out of the overthinking-every-interaction-with-women phase. Seems like it’s taking over his life to the point where he made a whole TikTok account about it.
Well put. It sort of scares me when people start to view interactions with individuals as representations of the whole. Respect should be given universally, but everyone has individual preferences and experiences that affect communication and relationships.
I’m more worried about giving out my number despite being able to block because I feel like that’s a bigger deal if you get doxxed for instance. It’s much easier to create a new snap than to get a new number. Plus a lot of the times you can find snap and other socials through your contacts and so they would still “be able to stalk you” that way
if a guy told me his “longest relationship was the hustle” i’d be screenshotting that and showing it to everyone that’s hilarious and so out of touch
i appreciate him being honest and trying to learn in the last few tiktoks
he just seems like a nice person who's partially misguided, honestly. hope he finds his way :)
I offered my email (secondary with no last name) to two men who approached me (different situations). Both seems like fine people but am concerned for my privacy and stalkers. They did not accept and wanted me on various social media or phone. The first guy ended with “you probably wouldn’t reply anyway” which was stupid because I offered a line of communication so I said “right I wouldn’t.” The second guy told me to put his number in my phone in case I had regrets. I pretended to do this and felt so weird I wasted time walking around the store to make sure he wasn’t following me.
So weird, why do men think being pushy and aggressive is an attractive response to reluctance?
Some guys asked for your contact info in a store??
@@FrenkTheJoy i've gotten asked for a number in a walmart before, and when i said "my mom told me not to" bc i just wasn't personally ready to date at the time he asked if I had snap instead so i went the 'sheltered church girl' route and said i didn't have any socials lol. in my defense it was the best excuse i could think of at the time lmao
REGRETS?! Over some dude you've never thought about? Oh to have the confidence of these fukboys
@@FrenkTheJoy I've had dudes follow me, a pedestrian, in their cars into my neighborhood. There's a reason people talk about the constant harassment. Too many guys do not care about boundaries.
absolutely rooting for this guy. i hope he can use his platform to show respectful ways to date
Jarvis always does a great job at bringing a more human and compassionate approach to these videos.
Don't ever pretend to be busy if you're not. Especially with a romantic interest. Because if they have a lot of free time, odds are they won't want to hang out with someone they know they'll rarely see. I've stopped talking to people twice that I was interested in because of them having very little time.
I don’t use Instagram but I’m definitely giving someone my snap before my number. I 100% agree when you said texting is a personal experience reserved mostly for close friends and family and it’s uncomfortable to invite a stranger into that circle immediately. There’s also much more pressure to txt ppl back than to respond to someone’s message on social media that you might not be checking nearly as often as calls/txts. It’s so weird when they make dating so much more complicated than it needs to be.
If it takes this much strategy to have a simple conversation with someone you just met, imagine how much work it must be to have full blown conversations down the line.. if she should be so lucky that he even sacrifices time away from the game the hustle for her like that. 🙄
Aren't our phone numbers also connected to our careers? Cuz that's my primary concern.
If you're young and looking for advice on getting girls to go out with you I'll help. Just be yourself, talk to her like you would a friend, but be respectful of course. If you're struggling to have the confidence for that, work on yourself until you do. Theres billions of women in the world, if one doesn't like you or even breaks up with you, that's okay. Find someone who wants you as much as you want them, trying to convince someone who doesn't is just going to create a one sided relationship.
And women are not vending machines. Doing nice things wont mean she will always date you. Its all about actually being interested in someone.
Be yourself isn't always helpful advice if the person taking it just happens to be trash
@@bigbearkat2010 Oh no it is. Just for the people they approach because the people know to run!
@@bigbearkat2010Also this advice doesn't include socially awkward people or some autistic people who struggle to speak.
Also if a girl doesn't like it when you're being yourself then they aren't for you. It's so weird to be like "I have to pretend to be someone else to have someone like me" when you're just lying to them and yourself.
Honestly as someone who's insecure from a long history of "nope" affecting me, the advice this guy is giving reeks of insecure coping. Barring the last clip his advice seems to revolve around suspicion and control. While I don't levy control on people, I do keep a tight grip on my surroundings and schedule, and I have been known to suspect what a lot of strangers say to me. It's a long struggle to feel secure without these coping mechanisms and I'm still working on it, but what I'm getting at is that his advice reminds me of my own coping mechanisms, but against people. I would deem his advice as major red flags personally, though I'm grateful to see he's at least willing to hear dissenting opinions out and understand where they're coming from. When it comes to internet personalities though, I do trust action more than words; after all, we're only privy to a fraction of their lives and are still strangers to us in all reality.
I'm not a woman, but I do date men, and all these dating coach types, and their advice, seems so counter-active to me. If someone isn't THRILLED to be around me, I'd assumed they're not interested. How can these men play hard to get, when they're so hard to want?
always so refreshing to hear your takes as a woman.
I read this like Jarvis WAS the woman giving takes 😂
@@brett8259 lol same, I'm still not sure if the original comment was being sarcastic 😅
jarvis is my favorite woman
@@judestinks He's THE woman
12:18 and then probably for the next year you’ll be the story about the weird guy who said he was married to the hustle, and she wont even remember your name because it wont to anywhere
Back when I was dating (married now) I had two accounts on social media. One for people I actually knew and the second was a burner account to give to potential dates. If they turned out to be a crappy dude, I just blocked them. Even if they made additional accounts to try and contact me, it was no skin off my bones. The burner account had no personal info at all but I still posted pics (carefully selected without my face) to make it look like a regular account.
I bring a friend almost always. If I don’t know you I’m not about to be put into ANOTHER situation because your ego is so massive.
Safety should never be "taken out of the equation" when it comes to relationships. A woman or man deserves to be safe and, if they want to be, independently secure, and if that means keeping a degree of separation between you and the other person (or their assets), so be it. Just be sure to TALK ABOUT these things before you're years into a marriage and furious about your spouse's "secret bank account" or something.
why'd you leave so many comments
@@lthec5564 Multiple comments for multiple moments in the show.
Humans need relationships, platonic AND/OR romantic. Those relationships will never be fulfilling if you are so afraid of getting hurt that you always actively try to be invulnerable.
NOBODY "needs" relationships
You need to be HEALTHY to HAVE relationship
Do not mix this up
Idk if I asked someone to the movies or something as a date (man or woman, doesn't matter) and they asked to bring a friend, I'd make sure they know I mean a date first. If they know that and still want to bring a friend, I'd make sure they know I'm comfortable with that, but also ask why. Are they poly? Do they want the comfort and safety net of having a friend and an escape plan of things go south? Do they want to go on a double date? Are there bad vibes and do I need to do some work/self reflection?
They’re not obligated to explain their every preference especially so early on
@@private755 I don't think that's what Person is saying. Knowing if someone is non-monogamous that early is fair because whether or not you're monogamous can be a dealbreaker. It's a fair question.
@@private755 no they're not obligated to say why, but there's not a reason to withhold that information either. if you answer truthfully and the other person freaks out or tries to talk back, well now you don't have to waste your time on the actual date because you know it's not gonna work out cuz they're not cool with you bringing a friend.
Let’s be real here, there really isn’t any winning when it comes to accepting a strangers advances. He’s attractive and has the vibe you’re into, so you give him your number. He says or does something that makes you uncomfortable so you block him. He makes burner numbers to continue to bug you until he gets bored or moves on to the next point of interest. The same thing has happened to me on instagram. I don’t really know what my point here is except dating is hard and very scary.
I appreciate at least that in his "What do you bring to a relationship?" video he says "sex doesn't count". I personally know way too many people, both men and women, that view relationships as just a way to get to sex. You need much, much more than that in a relationship. That's how people end up with playboys and cheaters.
Some people don't even use numbers at all so social media is some people's only form of communication