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Hey which espresso or coffee machine do you use? I need to slow down on buying drinks every day. I appreciate the time and energy you invest into this channel it truly helps people.
Hi everyone i am the person in the video. To clarify more on the clothing thing. My grandma has a habbit of reducing us about that. I understand kids are kids. It is the back handed comments about the clothes that are hard from someone on our household. They are kids and dont deserve that. I dont buy expensive clothes for them. They are relatively affordable. It was just hard to communicate that on the spot im so sorry. I try to buy everything on sale. I have no problem with used clothes. Its just taking on the mental beating from someone else if i do that. SMALL UPDATE THOUGH- the loan i have will be fully paid for tomorrow. All cards are paid off. I have started saving with money being automatically put in every paycheck. Papa Johns- i work 13-23 hours a week depends if i have extra time. $600 os the guaranteed what i will make with bad days. FOSTER CARE- i am in the process of becoming a Licensed Foster parent it just take ALOT of time. When that happens the boys will have better compensation and i should be able to put that into a saving for them. Thankyall for the lovely comments
I hope you can feel how many people believe in you and your determination to do the right thing for your brothers and yourself. Your work ethic and heart really stood out to so many of us viewers and were really rooting for you. You can totally do this. And it will payoff in ways we can’t even measure because of all the work you’re doing to change generational habits and patterns. Best of luck to you. ❤️
Girl, it is so time consuming to buy quality second hand clothes for kids. Not to mention that in the last year Goodwill and Savers are charging the same prices for used clothes that they probably sold for new! I will say if you can find a Wrangler, Levi or VFW outlet near you they have a lot of great boy's clothes at steep discounts. Also, see if there's a kid's consignment shop that will let you exchange their outgrown clothes for store credit. I'm a mama of two boys too, and it's hard to keep them fed and clothed! I hope everything just goes up for you three. You're doing a great job!
I do not think this comment section is giving this young lady enough credit. She works her ass off for two boys that she shouldn't have to be responsible for; works multiple jobs, and does everything in her power to make sure her boys are taken care of emotionally (therapy), sends them to summer camps, takes them on vacation, clothes them the best she can, and makes sure they're in sports, all at the age of 25 without complaint.
This for sure. Very telling that when Caleb start getting into the usual stuff (to no fault of his I’ll add as I think this is a unique circumstance for him too) her emotions came out on behalf of the boys, not her! She made it clear that it’s the boys and their perception of money she’s concerned about, not her own wants.
She took on SO MUCH all at once. To go from single to a single mom at once with 2 boys who come with some issues, some issues she's trying to tackle herself. She's incredibly self-aware and needs help with communicating big issues to little kid while healing herself....and kicking to deadbeats to the curb.
I don't have children but I was taught what to do. Its easier to deal with small purchases. So if a niece or nephew ask for something small, I'd get it. Especially if its a need. If its a want then I ask them to do small, easy things in return. If its a large item purchase then it requires more time, planning and for them to prove why I should get it. So they often prove it thru their grades, staying out of trouble and doing as told.
I've cracked under less. I was a full time college student and did student gov't and had 3-4 major assignments that tended to take hours all due around the same time and I laughed into a cry in my suitemates room because I was trying as hard as I could to reach a cum 3.5 gpa. I couldn't be able to handle her circumstances and I commend her for her resilience
@@PrimericanIdol I help she can encourage her relatives to become smarter with money and that includes valuing it more because it seems like she has a lot of relatives who spend money impulsively and when they do give it though don’t give it much. I don’t want to bash her grandma much but it was incredibly ignorant for her to give a large sum of money she got from selling her house to the girl’s brother and his girlfriend especially they had already shown they didn’t have much interest in getting money on their own for the most part
It wont be good, she is in texas, they just shut down health insurance for kids and a bunch of other programs. She has literally been listing programs, that where in the news last week getting the axe.
She is absolutely working her tail off but has so much bad codependency. She’d have an exceptional life if she left it all but that’s a hard pill to swallow with siblings.
@@mortaeus7274 Granny isn’t much of help sometimes either, it sounds. Cares more about appearances than what makes financial sense. And probably some pretty toxic guilt to go along with it…
Imagine getting evicted and bringing your wife and child to your sisters house then not pay rent and criticize your sisters choices. They have no right to criticize her when their life sounds like a god damn dumpster fire.
My older sis dropped off her two kids at my house without any notice or notice of when she's coming back many a time. My older brother is doing the same thing now :(. They just drop them off and leave without saying anything. Like when people give you kids what can you do? You can't turn kids away they don't know what's going on.
Save money and DON’T TELL ANYONE ELSE IN THE HOUSE HOW MUCH YOU ARE SAVING/EMERGENCY FUND YOU’VE GOT. The house money situation with Nana shows that you don’t need to let these people know your situation like that. Protect yourself and those boy!
What a woman. She is one of the hardest workers you've had on this show. Mad respect to her for stepping up and taking care of those kids even when it's not her responsibility in the slightest. If you set up a GoFundMe for her I'd be happy to donate.
not to be mean but this woman has been clearly brainwashed by her family. How do i know? because my family is literally the same! I have a brother (26) that doesn’t do anything and my dad pays his phone bill, rent, and other expenses! On the other hand my mom also doesn’t work and depends on my grandma to pay for her rent and necessities. Literally last year my mom and grandma call me saying my mom has no where to live at & my bf and I felt bad for her so we decided to lease her an apartment mind you it was only for her. Later my dad finds out that i am paying full rent for my mom so he sends my brother to live with her and says he can’t pay for my brother anymore. They literally put me $10k under and after i confronted them about the money they said i was in the wrong they got all their stuff and left didn’t even thank me or anything! now my dad is back paying for them and everyone says i am the villain!
Just wanna say that the gofundme is a good idea from a empathy pov. But she needs to learn to live being financially responsible. There won’t always be a go fund me when something goes wrong. It’s better she adapts it’ll help her and the kids she took in.
Same, I'd throw some funds her way but she seriously needs to reevaluate why she is so codependent on the Nana... She's forging a new path forward 100% different than her mom who failed them. New woman, new life. Good luck bud, open that GoFundMe!!
I admire her, but she's a pleaser and putting so many others ahead of herself. She's little focus for herself as she rescues others around her. Kind heart, but needs a path for herself, too. She's so bright, I'd love to see her get into college. I bet she'd make a great psychologist, nurse, doctor, probably any career.
Why does EVERYBODY in her life let her down, treat her like shit, and hold her back? This family is a massive tragedy case. She’s a real life hero to her little brothers, and they don’t even realize it yet. I truly wish her nothing but the best. I’d like to send her month worth of Fazolis just she she knows there are people out there who think what she’s doing is amazing and not trying to drag her back down. What a story today from Caleb.
I have been here working hard physical jobs with a toddler single mom and it build character! She seems like a very interesting, hard working determined individual which is so hard to come by as the younger generations work ethic come in
She's really got to learn boundaries, which are very difficult. Saying to the other adults, "That's not my problem." without feeling bad. She is responsible for herself and now those kids, nobody else.
It's so hard. I am still learning this. I dont think you ever stop feeling bad about it, but you do learn who the leaky cups are. It's pointless to fill a cup that automatically gushes out. Everyone needs their cup filled from time to time and I am a carer by nature. I am just learning now where to place my energy.
@@ShannaFarley well thats also true of oneself. If you fill your cup and then you choose to let it leak out to people who will waste that that makes you a leaky cup too. Right? So youve got the fill your own cup first and keep it tight so its overflowing and then people will benifit from that. But if you never let your own cup fill to the brim you will always be at that struggling level. If you think of yourself like a company then imagine if that company always paid bonuses to the employees and always had give away promotions to make it popular but never reinvested in itself...it would go bust very fast. But if you invest in it it can grow and become bigger and then you have the ability to lower prices have franchises all sorts of things can happen if you invest and if you seek investment as well...which ends up better for everyone especially you. Best of luck. Sometimes thinking about yourself as somone else makes it click bevause we often only think of our place in response to needs around us and not see ourselves as a need too.
It’s so easy to say this in our 30s and 40s, but I remember being in my 20s, and boundaries were such a new concept to me after living in my family of origin.
I think she did the right thing. Letting your young nephew live on the streets is not moral if you could do something about it. Though trying to get them self-sufficient is also a moral thing to do.
I just want to give Mary a million dollar check, a margarita, a massage, and a hug. She is doing so much and to see her cry when talking about the situation of her brothers broke my heart.
I had my niece until she was grown and I cried pretty much from the start of this video. This story is so damn familiar. My sisters ex pulled a gun on me at one point. I can’t imagine how isolated she feels. I did. Hardly anyone can relate to what you go through growing up with so much wrong around you once you turn out okay somehow. And then you’re responsible for your family because you’re the only responsible one. God I feel for so many guests on this show but this one, especially. I wish I could offer her some type of something to help her with her emotions. It’s nuts I just wish I could tell her she’s doing so good and she is way better at this than she realizes and she is worth so much more than life has handed her so far and she is SO CLOSE to having more.
@@alysemarie8313 I couldn’t even describe how I felt after reading your story. It hurt so bad to hear your story and the interviewer story. Siblings should be our allies in our corner and loving. It’s wrong and I am sorrowful that this happened.
The coffee part broke me, it’s like the single thing she does for herself when she lives for so many other people, she should be allowed to have that. Maybe not every day, but she needs something special to help keep her going. I hope it works out for her ❤
I wholeheartedly agree. It’s her little shiny gem for the day amongst the hustle, bustle, and strife. AND shared with someone special no less. That makes it so much more special 💜
Agreed and this is where Caleb loses me with his “harsh reality checks” for people who are genuinely trying to get better financially but just want a single thing to not go crazy. Caleb fails to see it with her and the orphan a few episodes ago too.
She didn't say the coffee is a treat for her. She said she doesn't care about the coffee. She only gets it because her boyfriend is passionate about coffee. It's just one more thing She was doing for someone else
it was when she said she had other adults and a baby in the house that broke me ... she's supporting grandma, 2 kids AND a three person family. She's too nice and people take advantage of that. She's got a heart of gold but hasn't learnt to protect it from those who would take advantage.
So Nana moved in to provide childcare, but instead shes not only asking for expensive regular outings but providing so little childcare that Mary has to pay money for summer school, camp, and daycare to keep them supervised???
yes! i am so mad at grandma! grandma should take the boys and let this young lady live her life! or at least be helpful with daycare and money- their her daughters kids!!!
Grandma is 70… she may not be able to handle two young, rambunctious kids all day, every day. She may only be able to pick up/drop off, handle some meals, and be gap childcare. All of which this young woman still needs to help to GET the kids to additional childcare and to have them in between the end of their day and the end of her day. My grandma was my main childcare from toddler through teenager (and I thank you for that every day, Grandma, I miss you 😘). But she was 52 when I was born. I was almost out of high school when she was turning 70. There was no way she was going to handle two high-energy little kids at that point, not all day. The expensive outings are another thing entirely. But please don’t discount the function of having transportation, some meals handled, and gap childcare. These are things that don’t sound like a lot on paper, but are a MASSIVE problem if you don’t have them. My local museum was trying to do a weeklong “camp” during summer for low-income kids. The price was as low as they could make it, and a lot of families could scrape together the funds, but had no way of getting the kids *to* the museum due to various constraints. The program never happened.
@@Dragonologist Like that 41 year old man child who was on the show a few months ago, who claimed to be very influential and powerful, even having congressmen fired, and going to prison for threatening the Texas governor.
Ah yes, the classic case of if you are the most responsible child in an unresponsible family you get rewarded by having to take care of EVERY ONES problems. 😢 Edited to add: ok, she's "new poor." She has no idea how to raise kids while being poor. No expensive sports, NO brand new clothes and shoes they're going to outgrown or wear out, no constant eating out, and DEFINITELY no monthly theme park trips UNLESS someone else is paying for it in its entirety. I grew up in a loving home, we always has what we needed but there was not a lot of room for extras, and we took maybe ONE trip a year that my grandparents graciously paid for. This particular Nana can f all the way off.
I've always appreciated my family. Everyone knows we will never another starve by no fault of our own, BUT if you choose to be hungry and homeless - we will totally allow that. Also...none of us would NEVER want to be that burden to any other family member.
I disagree about the sports. Kids may need high lasting, high quality clothes for sports. Sports and other extracurricular activities are vital for all kids. Especially traumatized kids. E.A helps kids learn personal responsibility, how to work as a team, how to respect other people, and work together with people you have differences with, _along_ _with_ personal strength and making yourself proud. Even if she sacrifices everything else, kids need the structure and community that sports, etc. provide.
Honestly, the few splurges she allows herself and the boys are totally understandable. There was that one woman making $80k and was a total disaster. This woman is fighting for her life. God bless her. Again, if Caleb can verify a gofundme for her I’ll send her some money.
Did you see the audit on the doctor making 300k a year with only 300.00 in her savings??? That was a disaster- I really hope this young woman gets the help she deserves!
I cannot imagine having two kids dropped in my lap at 25 and having to manage that financially. The fact she hasn't dug herself into a giant hole (outside of her car) is impressive. I hope she and those boys go on to have a happy, fulfilled, and low-stress life.
I cannot say how much I commend this young woman for stepping up and being a leader in her family. She is working her ASS off to provide a loving, supportive, safe and healthy home for her family. And she’s doing it not out of obligation but out of love. That’s a hero
She isn't the leader, she is a workhorse. Not to be mean or anything, but it seems her whole family network is completely incapable of resetting, reframing, and self-reflecting, and it seems like this is a generational issue. I've met people coming from these kinds of families, It is VERY difficult to fix these kinds of warped personalities and mental issues, like hoarding, irresponsible parenting, and so on. But she does have the capacity, I'll say that. She, unfortunately, had dealt with a bad hand in life, but she has the energy, capacity to improve, and courage and stamina not to give up. I hope she manages to break through, in every way.
As a big sister who went back to do anything I could to help my siblings, I am SO proud of her for being there for them. I wish i could like be HER cup of coffee patron lol
You can tell she is a decent person just by the fact that she believes you should buy something in exchange for using a bathroom at a business. I was raised that way too, but when things are tough, I think it’s perfectly fair that if you buy at that business from time to time, completely fine to use bathrooms without purchasing something every time.
What's scary is her story is riddled across the country. Her parents set her up to fail. 25 and she's indebted to her situation for a long time. Her good nature comes from that injustice. Could of gone the other way so easily, but she chose otherwise even if it's the harder route. Wish her the best.
Yes! I personally know a handful of people in this living situation. It's really sad, but more common than you think. Convenience store money wasting is almost a national tragedy at this point.
Man, this whole situation is TOXIC. A grown ass man with his wife and child are living there RENT FREE along side a grandmother who GIVES them money while this poor girl struggles to take care of two boys…
@@Maya-ln1oswhy? She would rather work herself into an early grave than stand up for herself. Her tears are a shield against criticism and Caleb has relented (he still did better than most)
@@andrew8168 well she probably doesn't "love" the situation she's in...she just needs to learn how to speak up for herself. Because you're right, that is a quick route to the grave, letting people walk all over you.
It's telling how those same people will be much less demanding with assholes, i.e people like me. People who prey on kindness are the lowest of the low.
Imagine, working 2 jobs, supporting 3 people and being told you cant eat lunch out or have coffee to get you through, but you should find time to pack your lunch as well. This POOR girl. Bless her. Pitiful
This is the saddest video Caleb has done. She really tries and has such responsibilities. I think she should have some treats. I’m afraid I would have the brother and family find another relative to mooch on.
@@lindajohnson. The grandma is allowing it. Mary needs to get out of there - if grandma wants to let the mooches continue. I am willing to bet Mary continues to allow herself to be taken advantage of.
Her brother (his wife & baby) are just going to continue to freeload! Why wouldn't they? They have no incentive to earn any real money to dig themselves out of their hole!
You could tell his tone really changed the further he got into it and the more he learned. The girl has a good head on her shoulders but her family is really hurting her. You can tell she doesnt care about any of that material bullshit and always puts herself last but her family bullies her into it doing what they want.
She's THE guest that i want to do well. I cannot imagine having so much stuff on my plate at only 25. I hope that she gets as much mental help as possible and get these family issues sorted, that would certainly help the financial part A LOT.
I’m so upset that CPS wasn’t giving her financial help. I was an ongoing worker, and our kinship families got assistance immediately with childcare, medical care, and kinship payments.
This poor girl is absolutely taken advantage of by everybody in her family. She is such a strong human being, and so inspiring. Really wish her all the best, and her incredible soul will bring her good things in the future.
What about her taking advantage of getting "coffee virtually with her "boyfriend"", when the ammout of money she gets for taking care of the boys could easily go to fun money or a savings for their college funds???
@@bennybenz7722 when she took RESPONSIBILITY for them then they became them! Don't be mad because you prob frivolously spend and are as selfish as her. Must be nice not having anything to take care of
You can hear the weight of the stress in her voice. I hope she knows she’s doing an amazing job and I really hope she finds a way to get away from these adults that are leeching off of her.
Family is family. She didn't have the kids, but they are still family. What sucks is that of the seven people in that house she's the only one acting like a responsible adult. Three kids I can give a pass, but Nana's letting herself get taken advantage of, and the other two are just leeches. Spineless bloodsuckers taking advantage of any warm-blooded body in their vicinity. *And they get away with it because they are family.* 😠
The fact that she's expecting her family to call her selfish and tell her she's not willing to do things for family when she literally has custody of 2 small children is WILD. The 30 year olds are the selfish ones - how do you get evicted and neither of you gets a job for several months???? And call someone else selfish??
This is so sad. She isn't making absolutely ridiculous decisions, she's just in a very difficult situation. The daft little decisions she's making - like the coffee - probably bring her a small amount of joy in a chaotic and difficult life. Bless her! She's struggling and I don't blame her.
There's lots of people in her position, and they get looked down on. Her openness will help others feel seen. I'm sure other people justify their spending for the kids with trauma that suddenly end up with them.
I cannot thank this woman enough for sharing. I grew up stealing food as a kid, not getting haircuts wearing only hand-me-downs. I grew up without healthcare. I was told all the time the Doctor was too expensive. Even when I had a broken lightbulb stuck in my foot. Or the 6 broken bones I had as a kid and only one got X-ray’d and casted. I’ve walked of 3 broken ankles and there’s evidence of poorly healed broken ribs, knuckles, my elbow, the list goes on. Watching my 3 siblings and 5 step siblings living different lives. Money trauma is extremely real. Being hungry as a child changes you forever. I’ve been watching these videos for a couple weeks similar to the woman in this show. I’ve been in and out of homelessness since I was 14. I’m now 24 and trying to unlearn old habits, heal from trauma and live by my morals in an amoral world. I love how you always make room for mental health in your videos. In these videos you often find a viewer between a rock and a hard place, this being the most profound example of that that I’ve seen
Stories like yours further prove that Healthcare is a fundamental human right. As the richest country in the world we really shouldn't have childhood hunger and poverty, the system needs to change radically.
@@devonglennon3548no it really isn’t (maybe for under 19 or under 25), but the problem is that it’ll always be substandard (I’m Canadian and on both side of the health care sector, believe and know that the best healthcare afforded to rich Canadians are when they get it privately in the US) and that making it a right as a whole violates the right of health care providers as it forces our labour and makes it prone to abuse fraud and moral hazard (dumb people shouldn’t be allowed to use my tax payer dollars to excuse them from the deserved consequences of being dumb). But I will accede that like education, it should be universal but only for minors/under 25/dependants etc).
@@brutustantheiii8477 Medicare for all would actually save taxpayers money. UMass-Amherst did a large study recently and found it would save over 5 trillion dollars. The current system only works for the rich as you just pointed out. Your health and wellbeing shouldn't be tied to your job, look at what happened when people were furloughed during COVID. Needless deaths, so tragic. Thanks for your perspective in Canada and sorry to hear it hasn't been great. There definitely needs to be drastic reform.
Honestly even the boys aren’t her problem and it is just a responsibility she took on to prevent them having to go into foster care. She has basically tanked her own finances and time (that she could be using to pursue further education) to take care of people so huge props. She’s a warrior.
Wow. I’m floored by the strength of this human. I’m 25 and I can’t imagine having the amount of responsibilities she does. She’s is an amazing person. This episode has really made me realize how easy I have it. Honestly I know we shouldn’t spend money on a daily coffee but she deserves it ! She works immensely hard.
Deserves it? Really? I can afford to get coffee but I don't because the value just isn't there. I save time making my own and it tastes waaaay better. I think what she deserves is good coffee, not that corporate swill. I bought a $100 espresso machine. I went from $7 a drink to $1.50 in ingredients. I bet it saved me $700 this last year.
@@TabbyQ.9563 I get ya. When I say she deserves it , it’s not about the coffee . It’s something that makes her feel good, feel joy. Maybe allows her to escape the reality of her circumstances for a sec. To each their own , I think something’s are worth the money ❤️ but I understand we are all here trying to do better
Her strength in handling her family situation is so admirable. She didn’t ask for a drug addict mom, an enabling, bossy grandmother, a distant father, two people living in her house, and of course did not ask to be raising two boys as a young woman. Yet she took on the boys and her grandmother and the two other people living g in her house, is working two jobs, setting up the financial security of her household, setting up child care plans for summer, etc. God sees your heart, and blessings will come! Keep doing the right things and remain strong!
She's the EXACT OPPOSITE of that Narcissistic piece of shit he had on the show a few months ago. This scumbag not only denied reality and had an ego bigger than Jupiter, but he threatened Caleb with reprisal, threatened to leave the show, and learned absolutely NOTHING. What got me the most, however, was how he thought of himself as this amazingly influential Midas-like Idol in his own head, claiming he got congressmen fired, went to prison for threatening the Texas governor, and that people were afraid to hire him because he was too powerful. He is a legend in his own head, and the main character in his universe. He deserves to be doxxed, and I hope he ends up in prison for a long time. It'll be the only way he'll be safe.
Im not even ten minutes in and had to stop to give applause for her taking in her brothers and accepting that responsability. No matter where this financial situation goes, thats a big deal that will change their lives forever for the better 👏
I believe poverty mindset refers to if you’re doing well you share your good fortune with your family/friends and they in turn would share with you if tables turned. I could be wrong, but that’s my opinion. Like how the grandma was also so generous with money she had.
Like when she says the concept of an emergency fund is so new to her. Poverty mindset might be, if something comes up, I'll just have to work more or steal to get my needs met. It's unusual for them to think that they can plan ahead or have control to begin with. Or being so preoccupied with nice stuff and experiences, and somehow tying that to self-worth.
I think the worst part is that her grandma came into some money, and gave it to the brother and they blew through it. Then they moved in with her and grandma paid the lease for, brother, sister in law, and grandma. But grandma did not give her a single dime! It’s sickening I can’t imagine her watching her grandma give money to her siblings and literally watching her struggle daily.
Grandma really dropped like 10,800 for a years worth of rent but is still making her pay the other half. And they taking a place that’s for 4 people into 7 people. People are shitty and annoying
It’s rare I find anyone being audited a redeeming person. Mary is a fine human being just raised by wolves like me. Everything needs to be learned. She works hard, is honest, and kind. I wish her the best!!!
I like how Caleb was empathetic with her, but still was able to guide her. My heart aches for her because she has alot on her plate and she is doing the best she knows how. I pray for her and her family to get through this tough financial situation.🙏🏽❤️
I applaud her. I literally cannot imagine being okay in the situation she’s in, yes she’s managing and pushing through. An extraordinary human being with a HUGE heart.
She is infinitely more responsible and hard working that most other guests here. Wish her all the best and better times ahead with all the responsibilities she has
I resonate with her. Right before my senior year of college, my nephew was placed with me by CPS for neglect as well. His parents would not give me any support, and I was working 3 jobs at a time. I was going insane. I could not afford all of my bills and food/necessities for him. Overall, my nephews emotional intelligence has improved majorly since being with me. In February, his parents rights were terminated, and now I'm in the process of adopting him.
Good. My moms side of the family is wealthy but ignored the situation my siblings and I were in with foster care. To this day 19 years after first entering the system I'm bitter and angry with them. Zero desire to have a family of my own. By taking your nephew in, thats the life your shielding him from
Listening to this poor woman... Every single person in her life is taking advantage of her and she doesn't sound strong enough to help herself out of it. My heart is breaking for her... I was in the exact same spot and the only way out is to take those kids, leave and start again. That's what I did and they hated me but I've never been happier in my life. You have to run love... For the sake of those kids.
She's emotionally spending for coffee. It's probably the only thing that gives her peace and joy. The one thing she does for herself when everyone and everything else takes absolutely everything from her. Don't let anyone know about that emergency fund or they will suck her dry there too. People pleasing is expensive. She's doing awesome for the hand life has dealt her.
I was 23 when my mother died, she was 41. Same day i had emergency custody of a 14, 10, 9 year old. My own little family started soon after and I've had 5 kids in the house for 7 years now. The youngest are 16, 17 (7, 5, 4 my family) and the 21 year old is out there working hard. Good luck to you lady.
Side note: buy the kids used clothes, do cheap family stuff together like hiking or driving to a lake. They will survive. I grew up dirt broke and in used clothes. Hell- my birthday and xmas gifts were from goodwill! She cares so deeply for these kids and wants to give them everything. They will grow up and see how loved they were by her-and how much she gave…those used clothes won’t even matter.
I'm at the part where Caleb is telling her to buy used clothes, and she seems to think that thrift stores only sell rags and that her kids don't deserve cheap clothes. She used the justification that "they're kids" but all the more reason to buy used clothes. They will grow out of them within a year anyway.
@@BrieCheese I understand that new clothes thing-- buy stuff like shoes and underwear new, but she can yard sale for new clothes and find like new items. Especially in nicer neighborhoods. She can join 'buy nothing' groups or mom to mom groups and do clothing swaps and those kids will never be in rags. She's trying too hard to overcompensate for them having a shitty start in life, like Nike and Great Wolf Lodge is the magic wand that makes it all better. I know from experience that it does not. Buying everything you didn't get when you wanted it doesn't make your inner child happy and healed, it makes you a broke adult surrounded by toys that you don't play with because you're not that little kid anymore.
I love how Caleb just jumps in and calls her grandmother Nana, too. He was very empathetic while not sugar-coating. I can’t wait for her 6 month follow-up. I do believe she can buckle down and take care of things, she’s just going to need to set some hard lines and stick to those boundaries. And yes, the brother and his wife need to go and be responsible for their own lives.
@@jerrystauffer2351 I agree. The Boundaries book is a good one to learn from. I didn’t know boundaries, either. I had to get the knowledge and it was surprising to me what I could say no to. She’s been raised to believe she’s responsible for everyone. But she’s not. The brother and his wife need real love. Meaning, they need to feel the consequences of their choices so they have a chance to grow up.
As someone who was in a hoarding situation as a child and had amazing family members take my sisters and I in, your brothers will be so thankful to you when they get older. It takes a selfless person with a huge heart to take on that responsibility. You are doing amazing with what you have and I wish nothing but the best for this lady!
Above Caleb's pay grade and most any other financial planner. This is a 25 year old "fixer" who has an empathy, sympathy and selfless level many levels above most accompanied with the lack of life wisdom for these challenges that could only come with living longer. God Bless her and Caleb. After working as a mental health professional and in human services in many capacities for 28 years, my analysis leads to devastating burn out and/or sudden physical illness in her near future. It's an incredible pace of life that only survives as a direct result of her insane level of hustle, energy and sanity...along with endless harmful deadbeats piling on. It's heartbreaking to see someone with such a sense of responsibility for everyone to be running right past her own life. Take care everyone
This comment spoke to me. I used to be just like her. I have a huge heart and I can’t help it. I will bend over backwards to help the ones I love and it has been to my mental and physical detriment. You are right about not having enough wisdom to equip yourself to handle situations like this. I pray she keeps her heart but learns to set boundaries or I fear her family will run her to the ground.
It’s heartbreaking sure but it’s also so so much of humanity that does this. Especially culturally a lot of countries don’t do care homes to drop seniors in with trained paid employees.
Honestly I have a lot of respect for this woman. She has taken on way more than she should have had to. Her ability to get up each morning, take care of her siblings and family, work two jobs, and still have a realistic mindset is admirable. The most important decision you’ll never make is who your parents are. Sending her strength, patience, and self-care 🧡
That’s not respect that is stupidity. She is a complete moron. She needs to say no kick the two out of her house and say sorry I’m not taking care of two grown adults
She's so young that she's still learning how to take care of HERSELF, and now she's taking care of an elder and two children as well. That's rough. I pray she finds the support she needs for her and her brothers' mental health and learns how to say no. She's awesome for looking after them and they'll appreciate that when they get older, even if they don't get to go to GWL. She's trying hard, she just still has stuff to learn. She seems open to learning. I have confidence in her. I'd love a follow-up at some point to see how she's doing!
Wow, I have so much compassion for her. She is taking on an insane amount of responsibility that should’ve never been hers. 😢 She’s 25 and should be focusing on her own family and not being a mom to her brothers 😭
As a Hot Tub cleaner for residential. She is NOT joking around when saying it is physically and mentally demanding. Also, the gas station stops ARE essential lol! Taking on the boys and others on top of that is just such an incredible feat. I hope she gets through this. You got this!!
Am I weird that anyone I hire to do something for I let them use my bathroom, give them drinks and snacks. Heck I ask the post man or Amazon drivers if they need to use the bathroom, it's just common courtesy.
Just here to say, girl, you’re a wonderful person! You didn’t have to take your brothers in but you did! You are giving them a life that they wouldn’t have had with their parents, Great Wolf Lodge or not. I’m proud of you for stepping up and helping your family they way you are. ❤
Wow 25 years and juggling all this. The coffee and junk food could be her trying to get some relief. I’ve worked in the fitness industry for a long time and a lot of people I have met eat junk food as a way to relax and cope with a stressful life. Man I hope she can make it ❤️ that’s tough.
Bro....PLEASE give us an update on her Caleb...even if it's a year from now!! I think I speak for some of us when I say I'm really pulling for her to get it together and get the help/break she needs. Let's get it Mary, you got this!!!
I just want to add that she mentioned her brother eating the chapstick....I was that kid, and it NOT your fault. Pica is weird. I would beg for chalk so I could draw on the sidewalk, and then I'd eat it all instead. I can't explain why it's so good.
She posted a comment with some updates on her life, she seems to be doing pretty well all things considered 😊 Her comment is just a few above your own, look for the one by Mary.
This woman is a model of compassion and hard work. She’s already “changing her family tree” even if she’s doesn’t completely get her finances in order. I bet she’ll do that also. Well done!
This episode is heartbreaking. She seems like such a good person and is trying so hard to help so many people. It’s obvious that no one is helping her. Also sounds like she’s trying to work through her own trauma from growing up in such a toxic family by helping the boys work through their trauma. Really rooting for her and the boys.
She's so young to have this much weight on her shoulders. I hope she doesn't burn out her body and mind and can make it through to a situation that is more stable. She deserves it.
I"ll be honest, I would contribute to a fund for her. She's upstanding, wayyyyy too mature (and required to be mature) for her age, and trying hard to do the right thing in very difficult circumstances.
Ok all the eating out and snowcones and stuff… those are wonderful moments she is spending with her family!! Quality time is about the only happy times she has
I said in another comment that it’s a great idea empathy wise. But what will save her life and the boys is if she fixes this herself. There won’t always be a go fund me when things go wrong.
She's dynamic. I think all she needs is some direction and support. Maybe a financial counselor and a mental health counselor to give her the tools to focus her attention on herself and not rescuing everyone around her at this time. She's not had the best mentors growing up, but she's so smart, she could be a powerful force to have a wonderful life. Maybe just a bit of help to show her to go this way, not that way. I'd love to see her get to go to college, she could do anything she wants as bright and motivated as she is.
I would love to help too. After 1 year of seeing financial audits with people making stupid decisions because they're lazy. She is making bad ones because she is taking the weight of the world, it would be easier if she says fuck it I'll just worry about me
So much love for this lady. Growing up in an abuse situation, being guilted about money and spending and just *existing* as a child, I have so much empathy for what she is trying to do for those kids. They are lucky to have someone like her.
This story is rough. This lady is so strong and the pillar in others lives. She will get to her financial goals even after getting thrown into a giant situation. Bless her
She could include the kids in the savings process. Kids like to help and teaching them how to save can be really empowering. Don't call it an emergency fund if that is trigging for them. Call it our family safety net. Give the kids a dollar or 2 each week, with 1/2 of the money going to savings. Have them save for a fancy ice cream or something at the end of the month...get them learning a out money so they are learning the value of money. It makes these conversations with them easier.
I had a talk with my 20yr old daughter. It was about building castles. And how important at her age that she started building her own castle first before she helped others build theirs. It wasnt about being selfish. We strongly believe in helping others but a lessons learned later in life taught us how many people Will happily sit back and let others do or the hard work (building the castle) and then they reap the benefits.
The classic "Red Hen" story in a nutshell, they wait for her to do all the work for the neighborhood to grow wheat, and then demand she give them bread, *but* it's up to the Hen to say "No, you didn't do xyz so it's my bread." It's a lesson for both the Hen AND her neighbors. That story has stood the test of time for so long for a reason! It was first published in *1874*
She is a very beautiful, giving, selfless woman. I want to hug her and let her know how fantastic she has been holding life together, sure - financially everyone needs improvement but the way she juggles everyones needs, emotions and priorities while still trying to give the boys a “normal” childhood. She is a incredibly strong woman ❤
This woman reminds me of my Mom. Came from total insecurity and abuse and was the best Mom possible, helps all my cousins and treats her kids better than she was ever shown. I can’t believe how stable and hardworking this woman is considering what she is living around.
Caleb please check up with this lovely woman and make sure she is ok. Really feels like she just needs as much help as possible saying no to her boys and not letting her family walk all over her.
We're all rooting for Mary all the way, and her younger brothers. She's amazing, and I hope she turns around her finances and finds happiness for herself.
This woman is a straight up warrior. So much pressure at 25 years old and she handles it like a champion. I have no doubt that this woman, with her work ethic, communication skills and kind heart will find financial success. My only feedback here to her would be that new clothes dont matter and vacations dont matter - the kids will understand that as they age and they will respect you more for instilling these values. These kids are so lucky they have her and are not in the system. As they age, they will come to realize this. Her future is bright and her heart is pure. Damn, now Im crying.
I cried through this entire episode. I can only give respect to this young women. I Raised my younger sister, changed her diapers and feed her. Mom a drug addict and dad in jail for rape. I had to work two jobs at 12 years old. All I can say is, work hard for your siblings success… However, do not let that stop you, I ended up getting my associates before a high school degree at 18 because I never went to high school. Take advantage of colleges who will give you free tuition and meal plans. Do not let scum bosses take advantage of you for years while you pray for your siblings success.
Love the new categories in the Hammer Financial Score. Really gives more insight into where each person is struggling the most. Also nice that income isn’t a category, which shows that even high income people can have a bad HFS due to poor choices and budgeting.
Yes. Exactly. I'm really internalizing the fact that income increase will not do anything about a financial situation if your habits don't change. I started to promise myself that if I suddenly starting earning twice as much, I will NOT start spending twice as much (as I do now).
I’m a single dad with two kids and I was transparent with them about our money situation, one is 8 the other 14, they understood that temporarily not getting everything they wanted for a while would lead to them getting an allowance and vacations in the future, now that we are out of debt they don’t see the scrimping to pay off debt as a bad thing. But we held each other accountable and now they won’t let me buy stuff if I even mention “credit card”.
I recently found the channel. My first watch was the "life coach" wearing the hat. This lady is night and day different in her understanding of her financial position and seems to be doing her absolute best to take care of her household. I feel like her alot. I too could buy a car battery but not much else most days.
Mary I was totally expecting insane debt. You have been put in a situation that so many people would fail under. You’ve keep your head on, accepted and recognized mistakes. You want to learn more and better your situation even with the tough journey ahead. Please keep working hard and I hope we get in update in 12months on your progress!
One of the hardest lessons of parenthood is understanding that the emotional pain a parent experiences when telling their child(ten) ‘No’ is really self-originating. The guilt is not from the kids themselves. It is really our problem AND our problem to deal with eventually. Use another approach when kids ask: When can we go to Great Wolfe Lodge again? “What sounds good/fun to you about GWL? What were your favorite activities at GWL? Would it be fun to live at GWL? I wish we could go there every weekend! But I have to work so I can pay all of our bills. Then, also, start giving them a small allowance each week: one way is $1 delivered in 10 dimes. First dime goes to savings, second dime goes to their emergency fund & the rest is for fun money. Give them jars for each account. That way they can see the money grow or lessen. Buy a crock pot! Meal prep. They can help. Remember they came to LIVE with you not vacation with you.😉 You are doing a wonderful thing by raising them. It is an amazing sacrificial act on your part. But you have to wrap your head around the “raising” part not just existing or getting by. Take the long view: you are raising future responsible, likable adults who will stand on their own one day - thanks to your investment in their lives. Please, remember to take care of your own mental health, too. You deserve it, too.
I couldn't imagine "begging" my mother for anything at 6/7 years old. Not because I thought I'd be in trouble, and not because she didn't take us anywhere or buy us anything...I may not have had the vocabulary at the time, but I understood audacity lol. I didn't have the audacity to ask lol. These kids are different LOL!!!
The price she mentioned for GWL was insane. I worked with someone who was signed up for their emails and got a screaming deal which included the hotel for her and her autistic son. Apparently it was during a slow period and they were trying to bring in traffic. I wasn't aware how much it would normally cost. Yikes.
This poor woman has the world in her shoulders and unfortunately it seems like a lot of people in her life are just using her. She's working so hard to give those boys a better life and she's doing such a good job. I really hope she takes all of your advice and gets into a better life/ situation in her life.
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Im only 12 mins into this video and wow… someone offer her a lifeline.
Caleb, please let her know that Target will allow you to exchange the outgrown clothes for the kids current size.
Does she have a gofundme?
Hey which espresso or coffee machine do you use? I need to slow down on buying drinks every day. I appreciate the time and energy you invest into this channel it truly helps people.
I've seen Betterhelp sponsor a lot of podcasts and youtubers - make a deal with them to help her brothers out for a year or so!
Hi everyone i am the person in the video.
To clarify more on the clothing thing. My grandma has a habbit of reducing us about that. I understand kids are kids. It is the back handed comments about the clothes that are hard from someone on our household. They are kids and dont deserve that. I dont buy expensive clothes for them. They are relatively affordable. It was just hard to communicate that on the spot im so sorry. I try to buy everything on sale. I have no problem with used clothes. Its just taking on the mental beating from someone else if i do that.
SMALL UPDATE THOUGH- the loan i have will be fully paid for tomorrow. All cards are paid off. I have started saving with money being automatically put in every paycheck.
Papa Johns- i work 13-23 hours a week depends if i have extra time. $600 os the guaranteed what i will make with bad days.
FOSTER CARE- i am in the process of becoming a Licensed Foster parent it just take ALOT of time. When that happens the boys will have better compensation and i should be able to put that into a saving for them.
Thankyall for the lovely comments
Also me and the boys share a mom. They have a different dad. Nana is my mom's mom. So me and the boys grandmother
Thank you for the update and congrats on getting the process started for becoming a foster parent ♥️ really hoping for the absolute best for you!
I hope you can feel how many people believe in you and your determination to do the right thing for your brothers and yourself. Your work ethic and heart really stood out to so many of us viewers and were really rooting for you. You can totally do this. And it will payoff in ways we can’t even measure because of all the work you’re doing to change generational habits and patterns. Best of luck to you. ❤️
Girl, it is so time consuming to buy quality second hand clothes for kids. Not to mention that in the last year Goodwill and Savers are charging the same prices for used clothes that they probably sold for new! I will say if you can find a Wrangler, Levi or VFW outlet near you they have a lot of great boy's clothes at steep discounts. Also, see if there's a kid's consignment shop that will let you exchange their outgrown clothes for store credit. I'm a mama of two boys too, and it's hard to keep them fed and clothed! I hope everything just goes up for you three. You're doing a great job!
God bless you!
I do not think this comment section is giving this young lady enough credit. She works her ass off for two boys that she shouldn't have to be responsible for; works multiple jobs, and does everything in her power to make sure her boys are taken care of emotionally (therapy), sends them to summer camps, takes them on vacation, clothes them the best she can, and makes sure they're in sports, all at the age of 25 without complaint.
This for sure. Very telling that when Caleb start getting into the usual stuff (to no fault of his I’ll add as I think this is a unique circumstance for him too) her emotions came out on behalf of the boys, not her! She made it clear that it’s the boys and their perception of money she’s concerned about, not her own wants.
She took on SO MUCH all at once. To go from single to a single mom at once with 2 boys who come with some issues, some issues she's trying to tackle herself. She's incredibly self-aware and needs help with communicating big issues to little kid while healing herself....and kicking to deadbeats to the curb.
Tough. Spends to much to be in this much debt
I think she's getting loads of positive comments...she's a dynamic person...so many are cheering her on. I want to see a follow up with her.
I don't have children but I was taught what to do. Its easier to deal with small purchases. So if a niece or nephew ask for something small, I'd get it. Especially if its a need. If its a want then I ask them to do small, easy things in return. If its a large item purchase then it requires more time, planning and for them to prove why I should get it. So they often prove it thru their grades, staying out of trouble and doing as told.
She doesn't cry bc she's a "sap", it's bc of all the pressure she's under, and it's ok. I'd crack too. I hope she's able to come out on top. ❤
I've cracked under less. I was a full time college student and did student gov't and had 3-4 major assignments that tended to take hours all due around the same time and I laughed into a cry in my suitemates room because I was trying as hard as I could to reach a cum 3.5 gpa. I couldn't be able to handle her circumstances and I commend her for her resilience
What’s wrong with crying? Everyone deserves to feel no matter what it is about
She's crying because she's caught out pissing away money on bullshit while people are depending on her. Tears of SHAME, as she deserves!
@@samysue10 - It makes you look like the immature emotional child you clearly are.
this woman doesn't have money problems, she has family problems. God bless her! I know she can get through this. Those boys are so lucky to have her.
Nailed it
Yep!!
45k car. You don't have to call it money problems, but it's at least stupid problems
@@jimbraguyup
She's making $16.50 an hour with a 45k car. She's got money problems.
As she builds the emergency fund would suggest she doesn't tell her family members. The family members will try to guilt her into giving them money.
Yes the less the other family members know the better.
Agree 100%
That's a life lesson. NEVER tell ANYONE when you happen into a large amount of money.
@@PrimericanIdol I help she can encourage her relatives to become smarter with money and that includes valuing it more because it seems like she has a lot of relatives who spend money impulsively and when they do give it though don’t give it much. I don’t want to bash her grandma much but it was incredibly ignorant for her to give a large sum of money she got from selling her house to the girl’s brother and his girlfriend especially they had already shown they didn’t have much interest in getting money on their own for the most part
That goes for everyone. But yea especially her.
She is *definitely* someone I'd want a financial update on in a year. Cause wow. Good luck to her.
Agreed!! We’re almost there 🎉
It wont be good, she is in texas, they just shut down health insurance for kids and a bunch of other programs. She has literally been listing programs, that where in the news last week getting the axe.
Same. I'd love to hear how she's going 💯
He is doing an update on her soon
Such a stark contrast between her and entitled and lazy people Caleb has had on. Awful situation, but she’s clearly a fighter. Wish her the best!
She is absolutely working her tail off but has so much bad codependency. She’d have an exceptional life if she left it all but that’s a hard pill to swallow with siblings.
@Dylan Standridge what do you mean? You can't abandon your family in times of need. Those kids would have a shit time in the governments care.
@@rawkingkong Dylan isn't talking about the children, he's talking about the freeloading brother with his wife and baby
@@mortaeus7274 Granny isn’t much of help sometimes either, it sounds. Cares more about appearances than what makes financial sense. And probably some pretty toxic guilt to go along with it…
Imagine getting evicted and bringing your wife and child to your sisters house then not pay rent and criticize your sisters choices. They have no right to criticize her when their life sounds like a god damn dumpster fire.
happens tho. its worse when it turns violent. soo many people struggling.
Drugs are ruining this family’s life I can see it from a mile away
Drugs have ruined almost all of your family’s life please force the addicts out of your life
And she's a YOUNGER sister, especially!
My older sis dropped off her two kids at my house without any notice or notice of when she's coming back many a time. My older brother is doing the same thing now :(. They just drop them off and leave without saying anything. Like when people give you kids what can you do? You can't turn kids away they don't know what's going on.
Save money and DON’T TELL ANYONE ELSE IN THE HOUSE HOW MUCH YOU ARE SAVING/EMERGENCY FUND YOU’VE GOT. The house money situation with Nana shows that you don’t need to let these people know your situation like that. Protect yourself and those boy!
What a woman. She is one of the hardest workers you've had on this show. Mad respect to her for stepping up and taking care of those kids even when it's not her responsibility in the slightest. If you set up a GoFundMe for her I'd be happy to donate.
Literally was about to post this, I would love to pitch in and help this woman out
not to be mean but this woman has been clearly brainwashed by her family. How do i know? because my family is literally the same! I have a brother (26) that doesn’t do anything and my dad pays his phone bill, rent, and other expenses! On the other hand my mom also doesn’t work and depends on my grandma to pay for her rent and necessities. Literally last year my mom and grandma call me saying my mom has no where to live at & my bf and I felt bad for her so we decided to lease her an apartment mind you it was only for her. Later my dad finds out that i am paying full rent for my mom so he sends my brother to live with her and says he can’t pay for my brother anymore. They literally put me $10k under and after i confronted them about the money they said i was in the wrong they got all their stuff and left didn’t even thank me or anything! now my dad is back paying for them and everyone says i am the villain!
Just wanna say that the gofundme is a good idea from a empathy pov. But she needs to learn to live being financially responsible. There won’t always be a go fund me when something goes wrong. It’s better she adapts it’ll help her and the kids she took in.
Same, I'd throw some funds her way but she seriously needs to reevaluate why she is so codependent on the Nana... She's forging a new path forward 100% different than her mom who failed them. New woman, new life. Good luck bud, open that GoFundMe!!
I admire her, but she's a pleaser and putting so many others ahead of herself. She's little focus for herself as she rescues others around her. Kind heart, but needs a path for herself, too. She's so bright, I'd love to see her get into college. I bet she'd make a great psychologist, nurse, doctor, probably any career.
Why does EVERYBODY in her life let her down, treat her like shit, and hold her back? This family is a massive tragedy case. She’s a real life hero to her little brothers, and they don’t even realize it yet.
I truly wish her nothing but the best. I’d like to send her month worth of Fazolis just she she knows there are people out there who think what she’s doing is amazing and not trying to drag her back down. What a story today from Caleb.
That happens when the person with doesn't know how to set their boundaries and stick to them or they refuse to do the same.
I have been here working hard physical jobs with a toddler single mom and it build character! She seems like a very interesting, hard working determined individual which is so hard to come by as the younger generations work ethic come in
Unfortunately you can't chose your family
bc its Her perspective and side, others may see it different. The common denominator her is her, so.. perhaps its her..
@@Malagon194 hopefully she does that soon, she said she wants to
She's really got to learn boundaries, which are very difficult. Saying to the other adults, "That's not my problem." without feeling bad. She is responsible for herself and now those kids, nobody else.
It's so hard. I am still learning this. I dont think you ever stop feeling bad about it, but you do learn who the leaky cups are. It's pointless to fill a cup that automatically gushes out. Everyone needs their cup filled from time to time and I am a carer by nature. I am just learning now where to place my energy.
@@ShannaFarley well thats also true of oneself. If you fill your cup and then you choose to let it leak out to people who will waste that that makes you a leaky cup too. Right? So youve got the fill your own cup first and keep it tight so its overflowing and then people will benifit from that. But if you never let your own cup fill to the brim you will always be at that struggling level. If you think of yourself like a company then imagine if that company always paid bonuses to the employees and always had give away promotions to make it popular but never reinvested in itself...it would go bust very fast. But if you invest in it it can grow and become bigger and then you have the ability to lower prices have franchises all sorts of things can happen if you invest and if you seek investment as well...which ends up better for everyone especially you. Best of luck. Sometimes thinking about yourself as somone else makes it click bevause we often only think of our place in response to needs around us and not see ourselves as a need too.
It’s so easy to say this in our 30s and 40s, but I remember being in my 20s, and boundaries were such a new concept to me after living in my family of origin.
I think she did the right thing. Letting your young nephew live on the streets is not moral if you could do something about it. Though trying to get them self-sufficient is also a moral thing to do.
She’s the kind of person that wants to help, and is surrounded by family that wants to use. Not a good combination.
I just want to give Mary a million dollar check, a margarita, a massage, and a hug. She is doing so much and to see her cry when talking about the situation of her brothers broke my heart.
Right? I wish she had a Give Send Go that Caleb could have shouted out.
I had my niece until she was grown and I cried pretty much from the start of this video. This story is so damn familiar. My sisters ex pulled a gun on me at one point. I can’t imagine how isolated she feels. I did. Hardly anyone can relate to what you go through growing up with so much wrong around you once you turn out okay somehow. And then you’re responsible for your family because you’re the only responsible one. God I feel for so many guests on this show but this one, especially.
I wish I could offer her some type of something to help her with her emotions. It’s nuts I just wish I could tell her she’s doing so good and she is way better at this than she realizes and she is worth so much more than life has handed her so far and she is SO CLOSE to having more.
@@alysemarie8313 wow
Seriously
@@alysemarie8313 I couldn’t even describe how I felt after reading your story. It hurt so bad to hear your story and the interviewer story. Siblings should be our allies in our corner and loving. It’s wrong and I am sorrowful that this happened.
The coffee part broke me, it’s like the single thing she does for herself when she lives for so many other people, she should be allowed to have that. Maybe not every day, but she needs something special to help keep her going. I hope it works out for her ❤
I wholeheartedly agree. It’s her little shiny gem for the day amongst the hustle, bustle, and strife. AND shared with someone special no less. That makes it so much more special 💜
Agreed and this is where Caleb loses me with his “harsh reality checks” for people who are genuinely trying to get better financially but just want a single thing to not go crazy. Caleb fails to see it with her and the orphan a few episodes ago too.
💯 You have to keep in mind your own mental health, if a treat helps that, and living your life and not only living to work and pay things.
She didn't say the coffee is a treat for her. She said she doesn't care about the coffee. She only gets it because her boyfriend is passionate about coffee. It's just one more thing She was doing for someone else
it was when she said she had other adults and a baby in the house that broke me ... she's supporting grandma, 2 kids AND a three person family. She's too nice and people take advantage of that. She's got a heart of gold but hasn't learnt to protect it from those who would take advantage.
So Nana moved in to provide childcare, but instead shes not only asking for expensive regular outings but providing so little childcare that Mary has to pay money for summer school, camp, and daycare to keep them supervised???
Yeah I'd move her back out. Sorry grandma!
yes! i am so mad at grandma! grandma should take the boys and let this young lady live her life! or at least be helpful with daycare and money- their her daughters kids!!!
Grandma is 70… she may not be able to handle two young, rambunctious kids all day, every day. She may only be able to pick up/drop off, handle some meals, and be gap childcare. All of which this young woman still needs to help to GET the kids to additional childcare and to have them in between the end of their day and the end of her day.
My grandma was my main childcare from toddler through teenager (and I thank you for that every day, Grandma, I miss you 😘). But she was 52 when I was born. I was almost out of high school when she was turning 70. There was no way she was going to handle two high-energy little kids at that point, not all day.
The expensive outings are another thing entirely. But please don’t discount the function of having transportation, some meals handled, and gap childcare. These are things that don’t sound like a lot on paper, but are a MASSIVE problem if you don’t have them.
My local museum was trying to do a weeklong “camp” during summer for low-income kids. The price was as low as they could make it, and a lot of families could scrape together the funds, but had no way of getting the kids *to* the museum due to various constraints. The program never happened.
@@taylorbug9 Trouble is, grandma is also paying 50:50 of the rent and bills.
@@baltasarnoreno5973 is she?
She seems like such a hard worker with a really good attitude just from the first couple of minutes, I hope things work out for her
she's like my mother, she worked her ass off for the benefit of everyone else around her except for herself
She is, and she has a good heart. If she takes this advice and becomes financially literate she will do well.
From the first run down alone. $1000 a week at $16.50 would mean she works 60 hours on that job alone. Add in 20+ of Papa Johns ...
Narcissists are masters at looking composed, confident and capable, then all the evidence in their life proves the opposite.
@@Dragonologist Like that 41 year old man child who was on the show a few months ago, who claimed to be very influential and powerful, even having congressmen fired, and going to prison for threatening the Texas governor.
Ah yes, the classic case of if you are the most responsible child in an unresponsible family you get rewarded by having to take care of EVERY ONES problems. 😢 Edited to add: ok, she's "new poor." She has no idea how to raise kids while being poor. No expensive sports, NO brand new clothes and shoes they're going to outgrown or wear out, no constant eating out, and DEFINITELY no monthly theme park trips UNLESS someone else is paying for it in its entirety. I grew up in a loving home, we always has what we needed but there was not a lot of room for extras, and we took maybe ONE trip a year that my grandparents graciously paid for. This particular Nana can f all the way off.
Yeah, I mean if nana wants to go out to eat she can pay for it.
I've always appreciated my family. Everyone knows we will never another starve by no fault of our own, BUT if you choose to be hungry and homeless - we will totally allow that. Also...none of us would NEVER want to be that burden to any other family member.
My husband is stuck in this dynamic and it's hard to get out of it.
I disagree about the sports. Kids may need high lasting, high quality clothes for sports. Sports and other extracurricular activities are vital for all kids. Especially traumatized kids. E.A helps kids learn personal responsibility, how to work as a team, how to respect other people, and work together with people you have differences with, _along_ _with_ personal strength and making yourself proud. Even if she sacrifices everything else, kids need the structure and community that sports, etc. provide.
I don't agree with the sports thing, otherwise sure
Honestly, the few splurges she allows herself and the boys are totally understandable. There was that one woman making $80k and was a total disaster. This woman is fighting for her life. God bless her. Again, if Caleb can verify a gofundme for her I’ll send her some money.
Did you see the audit on the doctor making 300k a year with only 300.00 in her savings??? That was a disaster- I really hope this young woman gets the help she deserves!
These are important moments they will remember sharing with her. It's the little thing in life we share. that makes a family.
@@rodra167any clue which episode this is? I wanna watch
NO EXCUSE for store bought coffee every day and constant take out orders. Microwave something at home and make your own damned coffee! LAZY!
I cannot imagine having two kids dropped in my lap at 25 and having to manage that financially. The fact she hasn't dug herself into a giant hole (outside of her car) is impressive. I hope she and those boys go on to have a happy, fulfilled, and low-stress life.
Imagine being a teenager expecting twins! Or how our parents used to have 13 kids and you’d all be expected to take care of each other
You are right, she has accomplished a lot honestly, and made only 1 mistake really.
Trying to change her life, its great.
@@rachelkmeck ok boomer
@@rachelkmeckparents couldnt stop fking. Is i’d say this is a little different
0000000000😮
I cannot say how much I commend this young woman for stepping up and being a leader in her family. She is working her ASS off to provide a loving, supportive, safe and healthy home for her family. And she’s doing it not out of obligation but out of love. That’s a hero
Absolutely! A complete 180 from the previous guest.
She isn't the leader, she is a workhorse. Not to be mean or anything, but it seems her whole family network is completely incapable of resetting, reframing, and self-reflecting, and it seems like this is a generational issue. I've met people coming from these kinds of families, It is VERY difficult to fix these kinds of warped personalities and mental issues, like hoarding, irresponsible parenting, and so on. But she does have the capacity, I'll say that. She, unfortunately, had dealt with a bad hand in life, but she has the energy, capacity to improve, and courage and stamina not to give up. I hope she manages to break through, in every way.
Having people taking advantage of you is not a leader. But hats off to her, she's a workhorse.
As a big sister who went back to do anything I could to help my siblings, I am SO proud of her for being there for them. I wish i could like be HER cup of coffee patron lol
Shes an enabler. I busted out laughing when she called Nana an enabler haha😅
You can tell she is a decent person just by the fact that she believes you should buy something in exchange for using a bathroom at a business. I was raised that way too, but when things are tough, I think it’s perfectly fair that if you buy at that business from time to time, completely fine to use bathrooms without purchasing something every time.
What's scary is her story is riddled across the country. Her parents set her up to fail. 25 and she's indebted to her situation for a long time. Her good nature comes from that injustice. Could of gone the other way so easily, but she chose otherwise even if it's the harder route. Wish her the best.
Yes! I personally know a handful of people in this living situation. It's really sad, but more common than you think. Convenience store money wasting is almost a national tragedy at this point.
Great comment man. 100%
This is why Caleb gets on young parents about the taking care of their finances now so their kids don't have to take care of them later
Man, this whole situation is TOXIC. A grown ass man with his wife and child are living there RENT FREE along side a grandmother who GIVES them money while this poor girl struggles to take care of two boys…
Just infuriating!
@@Maya-ln1oswhy? She would rather work herself into an early grave than stand up for herself. Her tears are a shield against criticism and Caleb has relented (he still did better than most)
@@andrew8168 well she probably doesn't "love" the situation she's in...she just needs to learn how to speak up for herself. Because you're right, that is a quick route to the grave, letting people walk all over you.
You can tell she's so overwhelmed and just trying to handle it all with a smile. Keep going, you got this!
Out of everyone that Caleb has audited, I’m really rooting for this one. Please come back in 6 months for an update
I hate when people like her who are so giving, get taken advantage of and think they have to do more than they really do.
She is not giving she is full of Sh*t
Yasssss. So true
It's telling how those same people will be much less demanding with assholes, i.e people like me. People who prey on kindness are the lowest of the low.
@@vegbeg9170 those people deserve some... special treatment.
Imagine, working 2 jobs, supporting 3 people and being told you cant eat lunch out or have coffee to get you through, but you should find time to pack your lunch as well. This POOR girl. Bless her. Pitiful
This is the saddest video Caleb has done. She really tries and has such responsibilities. I think she should have some treats. I’m afraid I would have the brother and family find another relative to mooch on.
But he tell people nose to the grindstone now, pay of loans and build an emergency fund, THEN have coffee and go out the lunch, and have fun.
@@lindajohnson. The grandma is allowing it. Mary needs to get out of there - if grandma wants to let the mooches continue. I am willing to bet Mary continues to allow herself to be taken advantage of.
Her brother (his wife & baby) are just going to continue to freeload! Why wouldn't they? They have no incentive to earn any real money to dig themselves out of their hole!
You could tell his tone really changed the further he got into it and the more he learned. The girl has a good head on her shoulders but her family is really hurting her. You can tell she doesnt care about any of that material bullshit and always puts herself last but her family bullies her into it doing what they want.
This girl has a heart of gold. I really hope she does well bc she seems like a fantastic human being.
I agree!
She's THE guest that i want to do well. I cannot imagine having so much stuff on my plate at only 25. I hope that she gets as much mental help as possible and get these family issues sorted, that would certainly help the financial part A LOT.
Yes, she is so young and yet hasn't complained about literally saving an entire family.
I’m so upset that CPS wasn’t giving her financial help. I was an ongoing worker, and our kinship families got assistance immediately with childcare, medical care, and kinship payments.
I don't think I have ever wanted someone to succeed so much on this show after this episode.
This poor girl is absolutely taken advantage of by everybody in her family. She is such a strong human being, and so inspiring. Really wish her all the best, and her incredible soul will bring her good things in the future.
She needs to be strong enough to say no.
What about her taking advantage of getting "coffee virtually with her "boyfriend"", when the ammout of money she gets for taking care of the boys could easily go to fun money or a savings for their college funds???
Where is this woman’s go fund me? She’s working so hard and doesn’t deserve the crap others are putting her though. She’s had it rough!
@@yakimawindowwashing WHAT??? They arent her kids!!! You’re sick is she supposed to throw her entire life away and have no fun at all?
@@bennybenz7722 when she took RESPONSIBILITY for them then they became them! Don't be mad because you prob frivolously spend and are as selfish as her. Must be nice not having anything to take care of
You can hear the weight of the stress in her voice. I hope she knows she’s doing an amazing job and I really hope she finds a way to get away from these adults that are leeching off of her.
I feel awful for this woman; She's been forced to take on too many burdens at way too young an age and she's a saint for taking it all on.
it's a reality for a lot of people, especially Black and Latino families/teenagers
Family is family. She didn't have the kids, but they are still family.
What sucks is that of the seven people in that house she's the only one acting like a responsible adult.
Three kids I can give a pass, but Nana's letting herself get taken advantage of, and the other two are just leeches. Spineless bloodsuckers taking advantage of any warm-blooded body in their vicinity. *And they get away with it because they are family.* 😠
@@harryjzhu why bring race into this? Such a wierd thing to do...
@@BewilderedAsshat Because's a reality for a lot of people.
She’s an adult the problem is no matter how old you are you can get guilted into helping family. The boys Do need her though!
The fact that she's expecting her family to call her selfish and tell her she's not willing to do things for family when she literally has custody of 2 small children is WILD. The 30 year olds are the selfish ones - how do you get evicted and neither of you gets a job for several months???? And call someone else selfish??
This is so sad. She isn't making absolutely ridiculous decisions, she's just in a very difficult situation. The daft little decisions she's making - like the coffee - probably bring her a small amount of joy in a chaotic and difficult life. Bless her! She's struggling and I don't blame her.
I’m less than 15 mins in and I appreciate the openness she has about speaking on very personal things.
What? She starts crying every time she glosses over her excuses and nonsense to avoid getting judged for her poor decisions
There's lots of people in her position, and they get looked down on. Her openness will help others feel seen. I'm sure other people justify their spending for the kids with trauma that suddenly end up with them.
@@dfwxjer not really, there’s much MUCH worse lol
@@dfwxjer I dont think she'd be on this show if she wasn't expecting to be judged. She's listening to Caleb's advice. Punch down, much?
@@milkflavored make excuses all you want. Every time he broached one of her horrible decisions she either had bad excuses or would start crying.
I cannot thank this woman enough for sharing. I grew up stealing food as a kid, not getting haircuts wearing only hand-me-downs. I grew up without healthcare. I was told all the time the Doctor was too expensive. Even when I had a broken lightbulb stuck in my foot. Or the 6 broken bones I had as a kid and only one got X-ray’d and casted. I’ve walked of 3 broken ankles and there’s evidence of poorly healed broken ribs, knuckles, my elbow, the list goes on. Watching my 3 siblings and 5 step siblings living different lives.
Money trauma is extremely real. Being hungry as a child changes you forever. I’ve been watching these videos for a couple weeks similar to the woman in this show. I’ve been in and out of homelessness since I was 14. I’m now 24 and trying to unlearn old habits, heal from trauma and live by my morals in an amoral world.
I love how you always make room for mental health in your videos. In these videos you often find a viewer between a rock and a hard place, this being the most profound example of that that I’ve seen
I was always told drs were to expensive too....I wore glasses too.....if a pair broke .....it was my ass lol😅
Stories like yours further prove that Healthcare is a fundamental human right. As the richest country in the world we really shouldn't have childhood hunger and poverty, the system needs to change radically.
@@devonglennon3548no it really isn’t (maybe for under 19 or under 25), but the problem is that it’ll always be substandard (I’m Canadian and on both side of the health care sector, believe and know that the best healthcare afforded to rich Canadians are when they get it privately in the US) and that making it a right as a whole violates the right of health care providers as it forces our labour and makes it prone to abuse fraud and moral hazard (dumb people shouldn’t be allowed to use my tax payer dollars to excuse them from the deserved consequences of being dumb).
But I will accede that like education, it should be universal but only for minors/under 25/dependants etc).
@@brutustantheiii8477 Medicare for all would actually save taxpayers money. UMass-Amherst did a large study recently and found it would save over 5 trillion dollars. The current system only works for the rich as you just pointed out. Your health and wellbeing shouldn't be tied to your job, look at what happened when people were furloughed during COVID. Needless deaths, so tragic. Thanks for your perspective in Canada and sorry to hear it hasn't been great. There definitely needs to be drastic reform.
American problems that shouldn't exist honestly. Appalling a child would ever have to walk off a broken bone 😢
Honestly even the boys aren’t her problem and it is just a responsibility she took on to prevent them having to go into foster care. She has basically tanked her own finances and time (that she could be using to pursue further education) to take care of people so huge props. She’s a warrior.
@@suits334 Same for men
@@suits334men 2
@@suits334No... You're clearly sexist.
They are family. They are her problem.
We NEED a follow up with her. Absolute need. I hope she gets on track and solves the family problems! Good luck to her!
Wow. I’m floored by the strength of this human. I’m 25 and I can’t imagine having the amount of responsibilities she does. She’s is an amazing person. This episode has really made me realize how easy I have it. Honestly I know we shouldn’t spend money on a daily coffee but she deserves it ! She works immensely hard.
25er here. Crazy to see the difference in life compared to yours, eh? Amazing women we have witnessed.
Well, to be fair from the sounds of her family situation. She probably has 10-15 years of adulting experience on the average 25 year old.
Same I’m also 25 and this show made me realize how bad our generation is with money and how bad some people’s families are
Deserves it? Really?
I can afford to get coffee but I don't because the value just isn't there. I save time making my own and it tastes waaaay better. I think what she deserves is good coffee, not that corporate swill.
I bought a $100 espresso machine. I went from $7 a drink to $1.50 in ingredients. I bet it saved me $700 this last year.
@@TabbyQ.9563 I get ya. When I say she deserves it , it’s not about the coffee . It’s something that makes her feel good, feel joy. Maybe allows her to escape the reality of her circumstances for a sec.
To each their own , I think something’s are worth the money ❤️ but I understand we are all here trying to do better
Her strength in handling her family situation is so admirable. She didn’t ask for a drug addict mom, an enabling, bossy grandmother, a distant father, two people living in her house, and of course did not ask to be raising two boys as a young woman. Yet she took on the boys and her grandmother and the two other people living g in her house, is working two jobs, setting up the financial security of her household, setting up child care plans for summer, etc. God sees your heart, and blessings will come! Keep doing the right things and remain strong!
I know we're all here to watch Caleb rip people apart, but I appreciate that he's equally as positive when someone does/did something good
she's a breath of fresh air from the recent guests you've had. leagues ahead in maturity at a younger age. rooting for her
She's the EXACT OPPOSITE of that Narcissistic piece of shit he had on the show a few months ago. This scumbag not only denied reality and had an ego bigger than Jupiter, but he threatened Caleb with reprisal, threatened to leave the show, and learned absolutely NOTHING.
What got me the most, however, was how he thought of himself as this amazingly influential Midas-like Idol in his own head, claiming he got congressmen fired, went to prison for threatening the Texas governor, and that people were afraid to hire him because he was too powerful.
He is a legend in his own head, and the main character in his universe.
He deserves to be doxxed, and I hope he ends up in prison for a long time. It'll be the only way he'll be safe.
I don't even care what bad financial decisions she's made, she is doing so damn much. Good job on her.
Just like you can't outrun a bad diet, you can't outearn a bad budget.
This young lady is genuinely trying her best being the only “adult” working and contributing financially to everyone. 😢
Im not even ten minutes in and had to stop to give applause for her taking in her brothers and accepting that responsability. No matter where this financial situation goes, thats a big deal that will change their lives forever for the better 👏
100%
@@CalebHammer can we start a gofund me for this woman? I would really like to help her in some way!
@@brianschoettle9151 if we have her some money how much is she giving away to her leeching family? Hopefully 0
@@brianschoettle9151 omg I said the same thing we def should she would respect the money too
I'd say the main issue here is poverty culture/mindset like 90%. Still struggling with it myself so my heart goes out to her and her boys.
What do you mean?
I believe poverty mindset refers to if you’re doing well you share your good fortune with your family/friends and they in turn would share with you if tables turned. I could be wrong, but that’s my opinion. Like how the grandma was also so generous with money she had.
Like when she says the concept of an emergency fund is so new to her. Poverty mindset might be, if something comes up, I'll just have to work more or steal to get my needs met. It's unusual for them to think that they can plan ahead or have control to begin with.
Or being so preoccupied with nice stuff and experiences, and somehow tying that to self-worth.
I think the worst part is that her grandma came into some money, and gave it to the brother and they blew through it. Then they moved in with her and grandma paid the lease for, brother, sister in law, and grandma. But grandma did not give her a single dime! It’s sickening I can’t imagine her watching her grandma give money to her siblings and literally watching her struggle daily.
Grandma really dropped like 10,800 for a years worth of rent but is still making her pay the other half. And they taking a place that’s for 4 people into 7 people. People are shitty and annoying
It’s rare I find anyone being audited a redeeming person. Mary is a fine human being just raised by wolves like me. Everything needs to be learned. She works hard, is honest, and kind. I wish her the best!!!
I like how Caleb was empathetic with her, but still was able to guide her. My heart aches for her because she has alot on her plate and she is doing the best she knows how. I pray for her and her family to get through this tough financial situation.🙏🏽❤️
As a former foster parent I can’t express how hard it is to take on children with this level of trauma
13 minutes in and I don't think I've been this invested in a guest before. She seems like such a good person.
Yup, she is as Lawful Good in the real world as it gets!
I applaud her. I literally cannot imagine being okay in the situation she’s in, yes she’s managing and pushing through. An extraordinary human being with a HUGE heart.
She is infinitely more responsible and hard working that most other guests here. Wish her all the best and better times ahead with all the responsibilities she has
I definitely agree. She is a very responsible young woman, dealing with a lot of problems.❤
Yes😊😊😊❤😊
I resonate with her. Right before my senior year of college, my nephew was placed with me by CPS for neglect as well. His parents would not give me any support, and I was working 3 jobs at a time. I was going insane. I could not afford all of my bills and food/necessities for him. Overall, my nephews emotional intelligence has improved majorly since being with me. In February, his parents rights were terminated, and now I'm in the process of adopting him.
Wow!! He is so lucky to have you. Stay strong!
Good. My moms side of the family is wealthy but ignored the situation my siblings and I were in with foster care. To this day 19 years after first entering the system I'm bitter and angry with them. Zero desire to have a family of my own. By taking your nephew in, thats the life your shielding him from
Listening to this poor woman... Every single person in her life is taking advantage of her and she doesn't sound strong enough to help herself out of it. My heart is breaking for her... I was in the exact same spot and the only way out is to take those kids, leave and start again. That's what I did and they hated me but I've never been happier in my life. You have to run love... For the sake of those kids.
I don’t know how someone could watch this and not feel proud of this young lady for all she is doing for her family. We are rooting for you ❤
I adore her
100%, so happy to see so much support and for her being brave enough to be vulnerable. What a hard working young woman with such a strong heart.
She's emotionally spending for coffee. It's probably the only thing that gives her peace and joy. The one thing she does for herself when everyone and everything else takes absolutely everything from her. Don't let anyone know about that emergency fund or they will suck her dry there too. People pleasing is expensive. She's doing awesome for the hand life has dealt her.
That line of thinking you're gonna get happiness out of $7 coffee purchases is exactly the problem
Could she use therapy and setting boundaries to help her emotional spending absolutely but I wrote that with an understanding of where it comes from.
I was 23 when my mother died, she was 41. Same day i had emergency custody of a 14, 10, 9 year old. My own little family started soon after and I've had 5 kids in the house for 7 years now. The youngest are 16, 17 (7, 5, 4 my family) and the 21 year old is out there working hard. Good luck to you lady.
Side note: buy the kids used clothes, do cheap family stuff together like hiking or driving to a lake. They will survive. I grew up dirt broke and in used clothes. Hell- my birthday and xmas gifts were from goodwill!
She cares so deeply for these kids and wants to give them everything. They will grow up and see how loved they were by her-and how much she gave…those used clothes won’t even matter.
This!!!!❤❤❤❤❤
I hope she will read it. I can vouch that best memories I have from my childhood were in old clothes bike trips to the waterfall.
I'm at the part where Caleb is telling her to buy used clothes, and she seems to think that thrift stores only sell rags and that her kids don't deserve cheap clothes. She used the justification that "they're kids" but all the more reason to buy used clothes. They will grow out of them within a year anyway.
@@BrieCheese I understand that new clothes thing-- buy stuff like shoes and underwear new, but she can yard sale for new clothes and find like new items. Especially in nicer neighborhoods.
She can join 'buy nothing' groups or mom to mom groups and do clothing swaps and those kids will never be in rags.
She's trying too hard to overcompensate for them having a shitty start in life, like Nike and Great Wolf Lodge is the magic wand that makes it all better.
I know from experience that it does not.
Buying everything you didn't get when you wanted it doesn't make your inner child happy and healed, it makes you a broke adult surrounded by toys that you don't play with because you're not that little kid anymore.
Guidance and genuine care are way more valuable than physical objects. I only know that because I have a friend who has a good family
I love how Caleb just jumps in and calls her grandmother Nana, too. He was very empathetic while not sugar-coating. I can’t wait for her 6 month follow-up. I do believe she can buckle down and take care of things, she’s just going to need to set some hard lines and stick to those boundaries. And yes, the brother and his wife need to go and be responsible for their own lives.
I don't think she knows what boundaries are. She's used to being the adult in the extended family
@@jerrystauffer2351 I agree. The Boundaries book is a good one to learn from. I didn’t know boundaries, either. I had to get the knowledge and it was surprising to me what I could say no to. She’s been raised to believe she’s responsible for everyone. But she’s not. The brother and his wife need real love. Meaning, they need to feel the consequences of their choices so they have a chance to grow up.
As someone who was in a hoarding situation as a child and had amazing family members take my sisters and I in, your brothers will be so thankful to you when they get older. It takes a selfless person with a huge heart to take on that responsibility. You are doing amazing with what you have and I wish nothing but the best for this lady!
Above Caleb's pay grade and most any other financial planner. This is a 25 year old "fixer" who has an empathy, sympathy and selfless level many levels above most accompanied with the lack of life wisdom for these challenges that could only come with living longer. God Bless her and Caleb. After working as a mental health professional and in human services in many capacities for 28 years, my analysis leads to devastating burn out and/or sudden physical illness in her near future. It's an incredible pace of life that only survives as a direct result of her insane level of hustle, energy and sanity...along with endless harmful deadbeats piling on. It's heartbreaking to see someone with such a sense of responsibility for everyone to be running right past her own life. Take care everyone
This comment spoke to me. I used to be just like her. I have a huge heart and I can’t help it. I will bend over backwards to help the ones I love and it has been to my mental and physical detriment. You are right about not having enough wisdom to equip yourself to handle situations like this. I pray she keeps her heart but learns to set boundaries or I fear her family will run her to the ground.
It’s heartbreaking sure but it’s also so so much of humanity that does this. Especially culturally a lot of countries don’t do care homes to drop seniors in with trained paid employees.
...the dark side of messiah complex amd maternal nuturing nature...
Im in my forties and still help everyone and anyone it is Incredibly hard when it’s been guilted in you and been Raised to do the right thing etc
@@thefunfam1433At that moment always ask yourself if others are doing the right thing for you
Honestly I have a lot of respect for this woman. She has taken on way more than she should have had to. Her ability to get up each morning, take care of her siblings and family, work two jobs, and still have a realistic mindset is admirable. The most important decision you’ll never make is who your parents are. Sending her strength, patience, and self-care 🧡
That’s not respect that is stupidity. She is a complete moron. She needs to say no kick the two out of her house and say sorry I’m not taking care of two grown adults
She's so young that she's still learning how to take care of HERSELF, and now she's taking care of an elder and two children as well. That's rough. I pray she finds the support she needs for her and her brothers' mental health and learns how to say no. She's awesome for looking after them and they'll appreciate that when they get older, even if they don't get to go to GWL. She's trying hard, she just still has stuff to learn. She seems open to learning. I have confidence in her. I'd love a follow-up at some point to see how she's doing!
Wow, I have so much compassion for her. She is taking on an insane amount of responsibility that should’ve never been hers. 😢 She’s 25 and should be focusing on her own family and not being a mom to her brothers 😭
As a Hot Tub cleaner for residential. She is NOT joking around when saying it is physically and mentally demanding. Also, the gas station stops ARE essential lol! Taking on the boys and others on top of that is just such an incredible feat. I hope she gets through this. You got this!!
Am I weird that anyone I hire to do something for I let them use my bathroom, give them drinks and snacks. Heck I ask the post man or Amazon drivers if they need to use the bathroom, it's just common courtesy.
@@MylesHSG It's definitely uncommon, but I wouldn't say weird.
@@MylesHSGSounds like someone raised you right. Just be careful with your medicine cabinets. 😊
Just here to say, girl, you’re a wonderful person! You didn’t have to take your brothers in but you did! You are giving them a life that they wouldn’t have had with their parents, Great Wolf Lodge or not. I’m proud of you for stepping up and helping your family they way you are. ❤
Hearing her story makes me very appreciative of my family. That's a lot to take on for any person, let alone a 25 year old.
Right? I wish her the best
The way she talks about the kids on her care IS FRIGGIN BEAUTIFUL. Brought me to tears. Dear girl. Thank you for being there for the boys. Really.
Wow 25 years and juggling all this. The coffee and junk food could be her trying to get some relief. I’ve worked in the fitness industry for a long time and a lot of people I have met eat junk food as a way to relax and cope with a stressful life. Man I hope she can make it ❤️ that’s tough.
Bro....PLEASE give us an update on her Caleb...even if it's a year from now!! I think I speak for some of us when I say I'm really pulling for her to get it together and get the help/break she needs. Let's get it Mary, you got this!!!
I agree!
I just want to add that she mentioned her brother eating the chapstick....I was that kid, and it NOT your fault. Pica is weird. I would beg for chalk so I could draw on the sidewalk, and then I'd eat it all instead. I can't explain why it's so good.
She posted a comment with some updates on her life, she seems to be doing pretty well all things considered 😊
Her comment is just a few above your own, look for the one by Mary.
@@ms.annthropic6341 thank you for that info!!!
This woman is a model of compassion and hard work. She’s already “changing her family tree” even if she’s doesn’t completely get her finances in order. I bet she’ll do that also. Well done!
This episode is heartbreaking. She seems like such a good person and is trying so hard to help so many people. It’s obvious that no one is helping her. Also sounds like she’s trying to work through her own trauma from growing up in such a toxic family by helping the boys work through their trauma. Really rooting for her and the boys.
She's so young to have this much weight on her shoulders. I hope she doesn't burn out her body and mind and can make it through to a situation that is more stable. She deserves it.
I"ll be honest, I would contribute to a fund for her. She's upstanding, wayyyyy too mature (and required to be mature) for her age, and trying hard to do the right thing in very difficult circumstances.
Ok all the eating out and snowcones and stuff… those are wonderful moments she is spending with her family!! Quality time is about the only happy times she has
I said in another comment that it’s a great idea empathy wise. But what will save her life and the boys is if she fixes this herself. There won’t always be a go fund me when things go wrong.
She's dynamic. I think all she needs is some direction and support. Maybe a financial counselor and a mental health counselor to give her the tools to focus her attention on herself and not rescuing everyone around her at this time. She's not had the best mentors growing up, but she's so smart, she could be a powerful force to have a wonderful life. Maybe just a bit of help to show her to go this way, not that way. I'd love to see her get to go to college, she could do anything she wants as bright and motivated as she is.
I would love to help too. After 1 year of seeing financial audits with people making stupid decisions because they're lazy. She is making bad ones because she is taking the weight of the world, it would be easier if she says fuck it I'll just worry about me
@@reby1583 her problem isn't money, it's trying to please too many people. she's smart, she can learn this lesson.
Mad respect for her taking care of 2 young kids. We need more people like her in the world
Yes for sure 😊❤😊
So much love for this lady. Growing up in an abuse situation, being guilted about money and spending and just *existing* as a child, I have so much empathy for what she is trying to do for those kids. They are lucky to have someone like her.
This story is rough. This lady is so strong and the pillar in others lives. She will get to her financial goals even after getting thrown into a giant situation. Bless her
She could include the kids in the savings process. Kids like to help and teaching them how to save can be really empowering. Don't call it an emergency fund if that is trigging for them. Call it our family safety net. Give the kids a dollar or 2 each week, with 1/2 of the money going to savings. Have them save for a fancy ice cream or something at the end of the month...get them learning a out money so they are learning the value of money. It makes these conversations with them easier.
I had a talk with my 20yr old daughter. It was about building castles. And how important at her age that she started building her own castle first before she helped others build theirs. It wasnt about being selfish. We strongly believe in helping others but a lessons learned later in life taught us how many people Will happily sit back and let others do or the hard work (building the castle) and then they reap the benefits.
The classic "Red Hen" story in a nutshell, they wait for her to do all the work for the neighborhood to grow wheat, and then demand she give them bread, *but* it's up to the Hen to say "No, you didn't do xyz so it's my bread." It's a lesson for both the Hen AND her neighbors. That story has stood the test of time for so long for a reason! It was first published in *1874*
she has so much on her plate and has a great attitude, I’m rooting for her! Really hope things get better for her and her family.
Absolutely
She is a very beautiful, giving, selfless woman. I want to hug her and let her know how fantastic she has been holding life together, sure - financially everyone needs improvement but the way she juggles everyones needs, emotions and priorities while still trying to give the boys a “normal” childhood. She is a incredibly strong woman ❤
This woman reminds me of my Mom. Came from total insecurity and abuse and was the best Mom possible, helps all my cousins and treats her kids better than she was ever shown. I can’t believe how stable and hardworking this woman is considering what she is living around.
Thank you, Caleb, for not yelling at her! That young lady does need some help and I hope she gets some psychological support.
Caleb please check up with this lovely woman and make sure she is ok. Really feels like she just needs as much help as possible saying no to her boys and not letting her family walk all over her.
We're all rooting for Mary all the way, and her younger brothers. She's amazing, and I hope she turns around her finances and finds happiness for herself.
This woman is a straight up warrior. So much pressure at 25 years old and she handles it like a champion. I have no doubt that this woman, with her work ethic, communication skills and kind heart will find financial success. My only feedback here to her would be that new clothes dont matter and vacations dont matter - the kids will understand that as they age and they will respect you more for instilling these values. These kids are so lucky they have her and are not in the system. As they age, they will come to realize this. Her future is bright and her heart is pure. Damn, now Im crying.
I just hope this girl knows she a star and that she needs more confidence in doing the right things! she will shine!
I cried through this entire episode. I can only give respect to this young women. I Raised my younger sister, changed her diapers and feed her. Mom a drug addict and dad in jail for rape. I had to work two jobs at 12 years old. All I can say is, work hard for your siblings success… However, do not let that stop you, I ended up getting my associates before a high school degree at 18 because I never went to high school. Take advantage of colleges who will give you free tuition and meal plans. Do not let scum bosses take advantage of you for years while you pray for your siblings success.
Love the new categories in the Hammer Financial Score. Really gives more insight into where each person is struggling the most. Also nice that income isn’t a category, which shows that even high income people can have a bad HFS due to poor choices and budgeting.
Yes. Exactly. I'm really internalizing the fact that income increase will not do anything about a financial situation if your habits don't change.
I started to promise myself that if I suddenly starting earning twice as much, I will NOT start spending twice as much (as I do now).
I want to take this lady and wrap her in so much help, love and success. You my dear are amazing
I’m a single dad with two kids and I was transparent with them about our money situation, one is 8 the other 14, they understood that temporarily not getting everything they wanted for a while would lead to them getting an allowance and vacations in the future, now that we are out of debt they don’t see the scrimping to pay off debt as a bad thing. But we held each other accountable and now they won’t let me buy stuff if I even mention “credit card”.
I feel like once she gets over confronting her family members, she’s gonna sky rocket and do great.
I recently found the channel. My first watch was the "life coach" wearing the hat. This lady is night and day different in her understanding of her financial position and seems to be doing her absolute best to take care of her household. I feel like her alot. I too could buy a car battery but not much else most days.
Haha that was also my first watch as well. Night & day difference for sure
Mary I was totally expecting insane debt. You have been put in a situation that so many people would fail under. You’ve keep your head on, accepted and recognized mistakes. You want to learn more and better your situation even with the tough journey ahead.
Please keep working hard and I hope we get in update in 12months on your progress!
One of the hardest lessons of parenthood is understanding that the emotional pain a parent experiences when telling their child(ten) ‘No’ is really self-originating. The guilt is not from the kids themselves. It is really our problem AND our problem to deal with eventually. Use another approach when kids ask: When can we go to Great Wolfe Lodge again? “What sounds good/fun to you about GWL? What were your favorite activities at GWL? Would it be fun to live at GWL? I wish we could go there every weekend! But I have to work so I can pay all of our bills. Then, also, start giving them a small allowance each week: one way is $1 delivered in 10 dimes. First dime goes to savings, second dime goes to their emergency fund & the rest is for fun money. Give them jars for each account. That way they can see the money grow or lessen.
Buy a crock pot! Meal prep. They can help. Remember they came to LIVE with you not vacation with you.😉 You are doing a wonderful thing by raising them. It is an amazing sacrificial act on your part. But you have to wrap your head around the “raising” part not just existing or getting by. Take the long view: you are raising future responsible, likable adults who will stand on their own one day - thanks to your investment in their lives. Please, remember to take care of your own mental health, too. You deserve it, too.
What a wise and empathetic comment. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to share. We all can benefit from your insight ❤️
I couldn't imagine "begging" my mother for anything at 6/7 years old. Not because I thought I'd be in trouble, and not because she didn't take us anywhere or buy us anything...I may not have had the vocabulary at the time, but I understood audacity lol. I didn't have the audacity to ask lol.
These kids are different LOL!!!
The price she mentioned for GWL was insane. I worked with someone who was signed up for their emails and got a screaming deal which included the hotel for her and her autistic son. Apparently it was during a slow period and they were trying to bring in traffic. I wasn't aware how much it would normally cost. Yikes.
This woman is so amazing. My heart breaks for her. She’s doing her absolute best & those boys are lucky to have her as a mother figure
This poor woman has the world in her shoulders and unfortunately it seems like a lot of people in her life are just using her. She's working so hard to give those boys a better life and she's doing such a good job. I really hope she takes all of your advice and gets into a better life/ situation in her life.