WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! | VLOG [tw: ed]
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- Опубліковано 20 жов 2022
- My name is Tammy. I struggle with too many mental issues, lol, but don't we all? On this channel I film most of my struggles, I'm not that open in real life though. I'm not promoting any kind of (eating) disorder, I'm just documenting my life. I'm very hapy to have you Little Lemons accompany me. Thank you SO much!
Intro and outro music
Leonell Cassio - Night Sky (Lyrics) ft. Julia Mihevc
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![TALKING ABOUT MY ROUTINE & LOSING WEIGHT | VLOG [tw: ed]](/img/n.gif)
Girl, setting boundaries is always a good sign you're moving in the right direction 👏🏻
One time my mother, her sister, and my cousin stopped by my apartment. I think they were on their way to a baby shower nearby. Like you, no call, and we had been no contact for a while. My mother had never visited ANY of my apartments., and i was then about 60 years old. I didnt answer the door. The feeling that it was MY door that kept me safe in MY space and that it could not be encroached upon was a first for me, but very empowering.
Totally agree. Also, this guy gives me the impression of a skillful manipulator: By telling you about his fear of rejection he makes sure that whenever you say NO to anything it puts you in the position of the villain for "doing what he fears". Be wary and always put yourself and your gut feelings first!
His dropping by like that is unacceptable! I’m glad you stayed strong!
I totally get how you felt having that guy basically invade your space after you made it clear you didn't want him to contact you. My anxiety works in similar ways, like when an unexpected event occurs, I get really shaken up. Personally, I think you did the right thing and I hope you feel more at peace with the situation now!
Im SO proud of you for asserting yourself!! Please protect yourself and your peace. He does not respect your boundaries or knows how to take a no and that is very toxic and dangerous.
Tammy. YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS COMMENT FROM THUMPER DOWN. Leave several copies lying around your home.
It’s creepy he showed up after you said you didn’t want contact and blocked him. You absolutely didn’t do anything wrong. Stay safe ❤
its very concerning too, such a red flag! 🚩
In case he watches this and pushes next time, stand your ground and love yourself ❤️❤️❤️ I'm proud of you ❤️
"Of course, I'm still not 'a failure' when I binge"
AHHHHH!!! I have not been watching you for long, but this is so, so, SO cool to witness. You are NOT a failure just because a binge happens, and I am so happy for and proud of you for not only recognizing that, but recognizing it so readily. You are such an inspiration for the obvious dedication that you have to self-improvement and growth. I can't wait to follow your journey ahead, because I think it looks beautiful.
I hope UA-cam is not a detriment to your mental health or your success. You are worthy, and you are loved! Also, the time and effort you put in to editing your video really shines, I just wanted to mention that ☺️
All the best
I'm proud of you. As much as I don't want to hurt anyone, I will if needed. boundaries are so important. I dated a feeder for awhile, without realizing it in the beginning. He was excited when I was over 350#. That's when I realized I had an issue. You got this.
Hi Tammy, you cats are so cute. Good for you are sticking with your decision to keep that guy out of your life. That was a huge step and a good one for your mental well being! I am proud of you. 🍋💜Helen
Can't believe people just come over unannounced. That is the worst! Totally agree that your health must come before a relationship like the one you have described. Great vlog today. The lights make your room look very cozy. ❤️
Please be careful with this guy. You never know what can happen. Keep your distance and always be aware of your surroundings, please. You are a treasure and need to be protected at all costs.
Proud of you for setting boundaries! You deserve to be respected.
It’s funny how even in your thirties (same with me) I’m still learning to go with my gut instincts with men and have boundaries. Hope you are well. Good for you for sticking to your guns.
Always make it about you. About your safety and about your self worth. Males DON'T respect females; full stop. You are what exists between your legs and nothing more- ask any rapist and any employer.
Stand in your independence and personhood, Tammy. You got this.
You stood your ground. It showed him that you’re not going to put up with any sh*t. Good for you. 💯‼️🫶
I'm so proud of you setting boundaries!! You are on the right path.
It was very inappropriate of him. I think you’re amazing for setting an keeping a boundary. You are safe and strong. You got this 💪
Tip: always do your dishes before you go to bed. It helps.
Absolutely. A quick look at the kitchen before closing it for the night is a good habit. Wash up any stray dishes, sanitize and dry the sink, sweep or wipe the floor (any night crawling bugs will have to work harder to find a crumb), ...
Closing down the kitchen each evening makes it more enjoyable to use the next day.
Be careful Tammy. Maybe I'm biased because I work with the police, but we hear stories like this all the time, about men who consistently disrespect boundaries and become dangerous to women. Always be aware of your surroundings and don't let your guard down. I'm proud of you for standing your ground, you did the right thing. Stay safe ❤
He was talking about other women with you to make you sad and maybe jealous.
He doesn't sound that nice to me
You are a pretty girl with a great personality ❤
Glad you stood your ground
I’m so impressed you realised you were way too nice to that guy. You owe him nothing. You don’t have to protect his fear of rejection or be nice to him. Really well done. I’m in my 60s and it took me till I was nearly 50 to realise I don’t have to be nice to people who don’t respect me. A lifetime of conditioning to be polite, appeasing and unselfish takes work to undo. 💕
I have 6 cats and we have 3 litter boxes. I totally could advise you get another litter box and maybe the whole kitty litter situation will be a little easier ❤️
Yeah I'd definitely say get more than 1! They actually recommend 1 litter tray per cat & 1 extra. We have 2 cats so we have 2 trays (they each have a favourite one) 1 for 5 cats seems a bit unfair to them unless she empties it each day which I doubt
We have 2 cats and 3 litter boxes, per 65 sq meters. We clean them at least once a day (if anyone actually EMPTIES them daily - that's unnecessary, crazy, and incredibly wasteful). Our cats favor one litter box for pissing and another for shitting, the third is a backup but mainly for pissing too. Also they choose the litter box based on where we spend time - they use the bedroom ones if we are in the bedroom and the one in my study if I'm working there or we're in the living room. Also our cats piss a lot because we take good care of their urinary health and feed them only good quality wet food. Cats that eat only dry food have a high chance of getting kidney stones, they live shorter, and giving them a bowl of water doesn't change that - cats don't like to drink water and will end up not drinking nearly enough for their needs. Cats in the wild don't have the need to drink water so it's evolutionary for them to avoid doing it.
Agree completely. One litter box for each cat if possible. But I know Tammy’s place is quite small, perhaps she doesn’t have room
@@gyrlgeorge i remember she has a spare room that she doesn't use, a sleeping room and s quite spacious living room for herself. I don't think she has a small living space
@@SocoWow it's hardly unfair seeing she dedicates so much to her cats 🙄 I'm sure she does scoop it every day.
Showing up at someone's house unannounced is a tradition from before we had landline telephones. (Let's just surprise someone with a visit)
Not answering the door is perfectly acceptable even if you have arranged a visit - it is your property.
If someone is offended you don't answer the door when they knock/ring - they don't respect your boundaries (or deserve your friendship).
Hi Tammy, it is generally advised to have 1 litter box per cat. Maybe you can invest in a second one I'm sure it would make them feel better! 🥰
I heard, you should one more litter box then cats. So if you have 3 cats, then you need 4 litter boxes because one ist for poop. I don't know if this is correct.
I added extra litter boxes and they still use just one 😹
I have a very small appartement. For that reason I picked an open litter box. So if they use it, you immediately smell it 🥲 It's a little annoying sometimes, but that way I'm able to clean up right after they went for a litter visit.
@@TammyLemon. I see. I know you’re taking good care of your cats! 🐈⬛
@@TammyLemon. We have a open litter boxes too, bc we only can buy small ones and the open ones are much bigger, so my cat can turn around and we have average cats. 🤷🏼♀️
You weren’t to harsh at all on him,you were just protecting yourself ❤ you are looking after yourself and don’t feel guilty at all you are doing just fine,enjoy your company with your cats 🐱 and concentrate on yourself which is the most important
If he exists
You were in tune with your subconscious when the bell rang. Your instinct was to not answer the door. That was a good instinct. Hopefully the guy got the message and will not try to force a meeting with you, but if he does you know now to follow your instincts!
Hey, you seem like a genuinely nice person and I wish you all the best on your journey! Gonna follow from now on, I could use some company on the ED recovery road. Feels a bit lonely sometimes!
well done! great to see all your progress and thanks for being so honest, helps me out a lot
I’m super proud of you for sticking to your boundaries! Overthinking when things like that happen, is COMPLETELY normal. ❤
You're really doing great and eliminating people who are contributing to toxic thinking need to go. I love how open and honest you are. Turning into one of my favorite UA-camrs. ❤️ Keep up the great work, you got this.
For the algorithm! We're all very proud of you
Proud of you for sticking to your boundaries and staying strong. I always love seeing new videos from you in my subscription feed 😄
I get so nervous when the doorbell rings too 😔 I wonder what it's like to be the kind of person who doesn't.
In this case I'm glad you didn't open the door! Creep!
You should be VERY proud of yourself, shows your growth!!!! Good for you, im proud of you, it shows you are heading in the right direction, I am a newbie here, only been here a few months now, but I adore you!!!
That’s great you set the boundaries! Yes the last thing you need now is someone selfish enough to try to keep you from being happy and healthy!!! Great job!!!
Yes you have trouble with confrontations or hurting people, I can so relate to that… but kudos for staying tough!!! ❤
hey thanks for sharing your days with us. im battling some things as well so little things like washing dishes and normally easy chores seem so difficult, your videos definitely helps me to continue to keep trying to do better everyday.
I love you, Tammy! I'm proud of you for being so aware of this guy's MO. You were so brave to be polite but firm. You are showing amazing progress.
Excellent job on setting your boundaries!!! You’re growing and giving yourself love.
Yay! The lights are fixed...it's always a great feeling being able to cross something off the To-do list :) fantastic work!
I can so relate to everything you said. I have a similar situation with a neighbor. I try to take most days and I have to walk by his house. I started to notice that he just so happens to always be outside when I walk by and always is trying to start conversations with me. Then he started just showing up my house bring food and what not. Then he got my number and started calling. Once he called 7 times in one day. I delayed telling him that his behavior was creeping me out for fear it would hurt his feelings. Then I finally told him that I think he’s getting the wrong idea about me. He denied it and made it seem as though I had gotten it all wrong. He continued to wait for me to walk by and talk to me. Then I decided this enough and stood up for myself and just refused to talk to him. Then he tried calling yet again. I had to block him. The thing I’m most mad about is that I didn’t tell him sooner. He counted on my kindness, he was using it to his advantage. I get so mad when I think about it. I just had to share this after hearing your story. He was absolutely hitting on me and then tried gaslighting me into thinking I had just misread the situation. I’m proud that I stood up for myself but sad I let it go on way to long against my better judgement. Best wishes! I love the journey your on. I’m rooting you on!
Im so glad you stood your ground and nothing Bad happend!!! Omg, that can always go Bad :( thanks for opening up to us about this💖
This is a predator! Never interact with him again. Afraid of being abandoned? He literally abandoned you for not looking the way he prefers after losing weight. He must be abandoned at all costs sweetie! Huge red flags. Don’t let people like that take advantage of your kind soul. Protect yourself and build your walls high.
Good for you, for setting boundaries and processing those emotions!! It’s a great example to others to show they are worth more!
Wow, how awesome are you to know how to set boundaries! Good job not letting that guy back into your life…plus it’s abusive that he came to your place so early in the morning.
CONGRATS TO 20000 SUBSCRIBERS ❤❤❤❤
Sorry I’m so behind , I’ve been binge watching all your videos for days and days and I feel anxious about when I catch up because I will miss you lol I am Constantly watching your videos and feel like you are such An amazing human being , you’re very thoughtful and a beautiful caring calm calming soul . ❤
Good for you for standing your ground! You are such a sweetheart and he sounds like a real ass. You’re doing great! 💕
wohooooo YOU GO GIRL!!!! take your power back and put yourself first and take care of you so proud of you
Tammy I am so proud of yo to have put the boundaries between you and that young man! Somewhere around the corner is going to be that man who is going to be just waiting for you! You are so mature for your age and I am proid of you. BTW...I just love your kitties! How wonderfully you take care of five of them! You are a real inspiration to all women, and I am so proud to have met you and to share your journey. Thank You, Tammy!
you handled this literally the best way possible, you're a class act
I think those lights make your space so cozy, love them!!!
I do the exact same thing if someone comes to my door. I think it was a very healthy, positive sign that you stood up for yourself. Way to go.💕
YES! You are powerful girl!
Way to go on setting boundaries. I know from personal experience how hard it is to set boundaries. Start with little things around ppl that are close to you and as you grow confidence you can take up bigger discissions that are best for you. Remember, little steps forward and sometime backwards but be true to yourself. The headache may be caused by this because of the adrenaline rush you might have experienced while this talk with him was happening?, and maybe the overthinking afterwards you might have had? Just know, if it feels good for you than you made the right discission. Anyways i'm proud of you, you did an awesome job.
I like your editing style alot! I struggle alot with binging myself, it helps to know I’m not alone. Cheering you on from Sweden ❤
In agreement with many other comments, setting the boundaries is always a good thing and know that you're much stronger than your anxiety will ever let you believe. ❤
That’s the biggest wings I’ve ever seen!!! Love your videos! Rooting you on!
I am so proud of you for setting and keeping your boundary.
I straight up don’t open the door if people come unannounced. I don’t care if all my lights are on and you can hear my TV. Nope nope.
Go away and arrange a visit with me.
Tammy, we are so similar. I'm also learning how to set boundaries. I'm so proud that you were able to hold your ground!
Its really sweet how thoughtful you are of other peoples feelings..xx
You definitely did the right thing with the guy.,and I think its great you feel strong enough to turn him away and set firm boundaries. That's great. Good for you. Thank you for the video 🤗🐈💜
He was wrong not to call first. Just showing up was wrong. YOU were right!
I have a similar experience, I used to talk to this man when I was unwell with my ED and at a low body weight, which he was really into. I told him I wasn't interested in talking anymore (for unrelated reasons) and cut all contact. I gained weight to a normal BMI, then he hit me up again, I stupidly answered, and he said negative things about my weight gain and insinuated that he liked my previous, sick body more than my current body.
I still had an ED but it was BP rather than pure restriction. It really messed with my mind, I found myself thinking that I should go back to my old weight because people liked me better at that weight.
I guess what I want to say is that people who focus solely on somebody's body, especially if it is related to size and directly correlated to an ED, are big trouble. I tried to tell him as well that it's not nice to focus so much on somebody's weight, but he didn't care and kept using words like "tiny", "skinny", "petite" (and more) to talk about people he found attractive and myself (at my LW). Meanwhile he was insecure about his own weight because he was OW and afraid people wouldn't like him for it, yet he couldn't see the double standard in him never dating somebody is own size or age but expecting women to date him.
I haven't spoken to him in around two or three years now and I am MUCH better off without that kind of energy in my life. The only person I should modify, change or keep my body a certain way for is myself.
Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal to people without EDs but I definitely understand the struggle. Even having one person who enables you in your illness in that way makes you justify the behaviors, thoughts and weight. Good on you that you set a boundary!
OMG I have had the neglecting animals dream, too! I wonder what it means??
Me too! I dream that i have forgotten i had cats and for some reason have not taken care of them for months or years. But they always appear to be okay.
Samee
Wow Tammy good for you!!!! I admire that so much!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
I dig the dish stack shot and explanation! Also I love Crash Bandicoot!
You come first always...good job!!!
Tammy! You are amazing 🤩
I have had the exact same fish dream,that's so weird. I think it's just anxiety. I worry about my childhood fish and frogs that have been gone for many years, like I forgot to feed them since I was 8 or something. I had a trapped in an elevator dream too, but that is a classic. Bless you! I wanted to add, it's the same kind of thing when someone wants to drink less and their significant other or friends don't respect that. Boundaries are so important.
I’ve dated men who look at women like objects and it’s so annoying and kinda picks at your self conscious as a women and partner also. Not all men are like that I will say that. You need someone who will support you and your journey. Love your videos and honesty! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So proud of you for not opening the door to this guy. I grew up thinking sex was the only way to be loved. I’d rather be alone with a good book or movie now! You made huge progress! 😘🤗
Bravo. Helpful video for those facing confusing relationships!!
Gurl. You be blown up! Congrats!
Yip yip is adorable and I admire you for the ability to forget about the dirty dishes! I have obsessive thoughts about mine until they're done! :(
Popped out of my bubble....I love that
I'm glad your setting boundaries. I'm sorry here in America showing up at someone's house is rude ass f*ck! Hopefully he won't come back and if he does don't answer the door. Love the cats 🥰
Good for you for standing up for yourself! It's very hard for me too.
Omg I love your stories lol
We love a setting boundaries Queen!
I can totally relate to this. Boundaries are hard.
Happy Friday Tammy!!!
OMG! I just had a terrible dream last night that I had forgotten to feed my fish and Hamsters for several weeks. I was in a total panic in my dream, felt awful and sad when I woke up.
As a big gurl myself i truly have such respect and admiration to u LADY LEMON
LOL I noticed that awhile ago, you are a great dish stacker!!! Chicken hair and skin gross me out. I'm an American but I too get tongue-tied on the word "regularly" too. I get so aggravated about it I try not to even use it in my vocabulary lol. You're a smart woman Tammy. Keep your distance from "codependent feeders". They, like everyone else have their hang-ups and issues and if you're trying to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle the last thing you need is a feeder. There are lots of large women for him to feed who want to be fed. So don't feel bad, he'll eventually find someone. That last person you shared with us showed you no respect as a woman, as a person. He did't really deserve two years worth of chances.
Set your boundaries..If you don't want content with this person anymore don't wait around telling him..Stay safe and stand your ground nomatter what you do with this matter in life.
Omg this is crazy I have the exact same recurring nightmare about forgetting about feeding and neglecting pets! I get it when I'm stressed out and never met anyone else that gets it.
I get them too! Usually in combination with flying, for some reason - like packing them in an actual suitcase (!) or being on the way to the airport only to realize I completely forgot to find someone to look after them. It's awful.
aww, I love your octopus!!!!
🥰
Mama Lemon 😀 you are such a nice human being. Glad i found you in this big youtube universe
So proud of you for choosing the right thing
it's interesting, I sometimes have nightmares about neglecting animals too. And the way you described it was so similar, with parents telling you, you run up and see something horrifying. In my dream, it was a parrot, but I never had a parrot. I have a cute cat like you
I've had very similar recurring dreams about horses and a tank of lizards. I've never owned either, but I think it's symbolic of neglecting yourself or your responsibilities and the anxiety surrounding that.
Thanks for sharing and proud of you, helps me to with some of situations I've been dealing with lately (mentally)🌺🐰💙, love from south Africa,bye.
Hiya Tammy⭐️
I truly enjoy your videos🌸♥️
You did good with that guy. No good for you. Keep on going your way and taking care of yourself and loving yourself. Your lights are very beautiful and yes, you are a dish-stacking pro😄
The best skill I made myself learn is to clean as I cook and rinse after I eat. Saves me time and angst later!
We call it the Jenga dish tower at our house! We do the same Jenga recycle can tower as well...
Sounds to me that your intuition was protecting you. Always listen to your gut feelings! Always! You did the right thing!
Did you know they make kitty water fountains? They like running water. That's probably why your baby was trying to catch the tap water. I used to leave the bathroom water running a tiny bit until I found one🙈
A cat water fountain! I had heard that cats don't like to drink water and need to drink more especially if they are given dry food as a staple. A fountain away from food and away from the litter box is such a great idea. Your kitty is lucky to have you.