Me at 63 23 years married. Never ever expected to finish up single. But it's now been about 3 years. I'm feeling great, and don't care about getting involved with someone else. Retirement pending, good health is now a priority with me. If i do meet someone... i have no expectations at all. Good luck everyone, stay well.
Just be carefull. Do things you can do while in good health, travel, bike, walk, have sex... I find that men over 50 yo get involved or married again too fast; if I end up single I'll try my best to keep it as non- contractual as possible. No marriage, no cohabitation or buying houses together. Maybe living apart. Or just having many fwb.
After my divorce, I've been having the most peace I've ever had in my entire life! Lots of introspect, learning to respect myself on a much deeper level and knowing exactly what I'm willing and not willing to put up with is invaluable.
Thanks brother-I’m 33. I was with my wife for 6 years, married for one. She dropped the divorce bomb three weeks ago completely out of the blue. This is tough but I know I’ll get through this.
On the bright side, at least you didn't have to go through 20 years of a bad marriage before it all came crashing down! Definately check out my video on Thriving After Divorce. Even through Im alot older than you, the issues are pretty similar. ua-cam.com/video/9exxuDWnByE/v-deo.html
@@john-griffin that’s the same conclusion I came to. The video you linked is what brought me to this one. I have many things going for me right now. I have incredible friends - my best buds since kindergarten, my promotion came through at work, and i have a great income. Through you I’ve realized that I just need to be selfish for once in my life. Keep doing what you do!
She did you an unbelievable favor. As the video explains, wait to date. I was fortunate to have a good therapist who suggested I wait one year. I remember thinking I would be married in a year. She was right. After a year, I began to be able to see things clearly. Way more able to spot the red flags. Be patient friend, as a man, time is on your side.
Great videos!! I'm 60 y/o been divorced for 6 years, after 32 years of marriage. I love living alone, the kids are grown and doing ok, we're all getting along now. Life is good.
58, marroed for 32, separated for 2, divorced for 1, I filed...your spot on. The peace is deafening and real, boys are doing great, grateful for all the things in my life. ....rock on dude.
I’m finding the loss of my family unit hard guys. I’m younger, just turned 40. Been separated 2.5 years divorced just over a year. I see my two boys fairly regular but because they are young I feel I lost a future raising them as a team of man and wife ?
I've watched all your videos on divorcing now: the depth of thought and wisdom is a class above anything out there. I'm saying that as a divorcing man who has watched literally hundreds of videos in an effort to find some path through, so it's incredible after all that to find another level of advice, or to be surprised. The video about understanding marriage before you marry, yep I think every young person should see that one, absolute truth spoken. It's too soon to show my teenage sons, but at the right time in a few years, I'll be sitting them down in front of it because it says it better than I ever could. Your videos deserve to get a wider following and in time I'm sure that will accumulate. Thank you.
Thanks for your kind words. I never wanted to get divorced. So when it happened, I was really sideswiped hard. I had to really give a lot of thought to what had happened to me and what I was gonna do now. I knew that if I allowed it to, The divorce could have really derailed my entire life. The process of getting my bearings and prioritizing my life was enlightening and improved all of my relationships and experiences. I’m glad that you’re benefiting from it. It’s ironic that my ex-wife has a lot of responsibility for teaching me a lot of these lessons. I don’t think that was her intention. Sometimes it’s funny how life what you need not necessarily what you want. I think the Rolling Stones already said that.😄
@john-griffin Thank you for taking the time to respond John and for those further reflections. One funny point - I actually call my wife my teacher for exactly the same reasons! I have learnt more from her than any other human being in my life. The irrony is not because she bests my greatest university professor or wisest friend, but because the journey she put me through created lessons - awful lessons for sure - that could not be learnt any other way. I hope some good can come of it but I'm still completely trapped in the thick of the divorce process so a while yet before I'm freed to live a life informed by those lessons.
I remember there was a psychologist who was an author back in the 90s named Wayne Dyer. And he said something in one of his books about soulmates. He said a soulmate is not some romantic perfect person for you but rather is the person who is here to teach you the hardest lessons.when I first heard him say that I thought that sounds like bullshit to me. But now, I think he may have had some insights. I believe he had been divorced three times by them, so maybe he actually knew the truth.😂
@john-griffin Thank you again John - I am now doing a binge on Wayne Dyer - wonders of UA-cam you can put something like that in front of me and voila, it's all to hand to watch a few keystrokes away even though it's mostly from the 1990s. I will be back to continue binging on your videos soon though 😀
34 Divorced Man with 2yr daughter - went through a nasty divorce completely blindsided its now over and as a recrmyly single man this channel has been a sanctuary. Keep up the videos!
I'm a 54 year old very single person ( woman) for the first time in my life and i am very much enjoying 🎉your videos! I love how they start and how you film them and how you talk even. .Your videos are excellent and i came home tonight to watch some more .💪😊❤
You are so right that getting to know yourself after divorce is very difficult and terrifying for a lot of men. Especially because we tie up our entire identity into the role as a husband, provider, and protector. When the marriage falls apart, it's an ego-death. And finding out who we really are can be daunting AF. A lot of men struggle really hard in this phase of their lives. But therein also lies a massive opportunity for growth and becoming an even better person than you were before. It's all about applying the right mindset and listening to videos such as this one is a solid step along the way.
thank you 62 here , 32 years married. 1.5 years divorced and recovering, all within 2 year span , knee replacement, hernia, surgery, sobriety, and rehab, and then divorce…. Your spot on about quality time used the dating scams learning to be at peace and enjoying your newfound, but yet abundant freedom.. I haven’t been on any dates and I’m not sure that I want to somehow wise enough to realize I didn’t want to fall into a trap trying to replace void or something else.
@user-zj5ml3yq7k Sometimes the juice is not worth the squeeze. But it should be said to have an open mind. But be wary.... Enjoy and put your freedom first.
Man see women as someone to complete them and provide female joys. No one can complete you. The price for pleasure is usually someone who is out using you. 90% of women marry someone they don't love. Get a dog.
@davegayaldo sounds to like you got your head on straight. Maybe now some of those medical problems will back of now.ive been there also ,many operations also going in oct 15 to get operated on again, One of the best thingsthat happened was i got devorsed over 30 yrs ago, its been super peacefull every since.that cured me from ever wanting to date again, thats like playing with nitro glisseran.I learned my lesson, I love my peace and quiet.
Sir, you are a jewel in this space, your life experience, knowledge and articulate way, will make the channel grow, young guys need TO get the years of experience you Sir have. I realize more and more that everything in Life is about learning the nature of the things before we aquire of go for them
I agree with everything you say! Forgiving yourself is the first step. Trusting in your decisions and goals. . Give yourself the same attention and dedication that you've given to others all through the years. Never let anybody into your frame that doesn't enhance your life.
My partner cheated and left me we was together 10yrs. I loved her very much but I'm struggling to deal with single life at 53 nobody to talk to nobody to hug nobody to eat with. I've never been single since i was 18 i wish i was strong like you because I'm really struggling. Great video thanks
Thanks for your comment, I’m sorry you’re going through the tough experience of being on your own for the first time. I put a video today about what it was like for me when I found myself alone. I think the thumbnail on the video says divorced, not dead. Check it out. I think there’s some really helpful tips in there that you might find useful. Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate it.
@@Paul-of3ut One common problem people have in life-changing situations like yours, is to understand that what you feel right now, is only temporary. And everyone can endure pain, loss etc, in the moment, the hard part is you think of it as a constant that won't change. It will change!
Hello Paul, Hope you are ok! I good thing that will help you feel stronger, more confident and healthy is resistance training. Buy a bench and a set of dumbells and watch youtube videos on training for over 60s. It will really give you a lift!
First that is a great park that you have to go out and recharge. After 38 years of marriage, I am the one that pulled the trigger. I was afraid of the financial loss, but after being physically and verbally abused, I filed for divorce. I realized that living with waking up each morning dreading what the day will bring is worse than being broke on my 60's. About a year after my divorce, I retired. I probably violated a rule by inviting a big life change after another one. About 4 months after my divorce, I was pushed into a date by a female friend, with a nice looking woman who was close in my age. I thought the date well but evidently she was not attracted to me. The worst thing was that I learned that she shared everything about our date and conversation with that friend of mine. Why do women always have to discuss everything with their friends? I do feel at peace right now. I enjoy my dogs and my hobbies. I enjoy being alone and through Meet-Up I joined some hiking and kayaking groups and I have people to go out and do things with. I am not sure that I want to do the whole going out on a date thing. not sure if that is normal.
Congratulations on having the guts to do it. The price of freedom is high and the tuition for the lessons we learn isn't cheap either. But, you are better for it. Thanks, John
John your content helps a lot of men. Keep it up. Men in a separation, divorce situation need this content. When divorce first happens and your wife is done with you, you feel that it is only you going through this. Turns out this happens to thousands and thousands of men.
I love what you have to say. It's genuinely refreshing to hear this from a male perspective. I love what you say about peace of mind. I feel it. I am still in the process of divorcing my husband who left me after 29 years of marriage, 2 1/2 years ago. I'm 53. I am in the process of completely reinventing myself and am determined to keep healing myself and finding myself before ever going back out there again, even though I really miss companionship and closeness at times. If I keep doing the work, it may happen but I have no expectations. Thank you. I'm glad I came across your channel.
At 48 I could barely function after my divorce much less date so I waited about 3 years which happened to be the best decision ever. Yeah it sucked getting used to being completely alone but you push through and after a while, you start to see the positives. It also provided time to focus on my kid and save a some $$$ doing gig work on the side when I didn't have her.
Great advice. I'm a woman and I have found so many women to be some of the bossiest people I've ever met. I also found them to be the least knowledgeable that I've ever met. Love your videos and keep enjoying life !!!
55 and now free from my narcissist ex. Not upset, no anger but focusing on me. But... What is so sad is that married women I knew were now interested; hypergamy. I am fit, in shape for my age and exercise a lot and do well. But the level of entitlement from women my age, I find absolutely astounding when they approach me. As though I should first thank them for walking up and talking to me and showing interest. No, I am done for good. No friends with benefits, etc. I will be happy on my own. Dating and marriage are simply not worth it anymore. Walking away and happy about it.
Thank you for your videos John. They've been invaluable for me in my journey. It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I'm not angry anymore. Also, I realize my mistakes in the marriage. What I've realized is that I've been alone for years and just didn't realize it or was in denial about it. Thanks again.
Hey John, excellent advice. 3 months out of an 8 year marriage and doing everything you touched on in this video. Been doing the work on myself and honestly have no interest in dating until I'm at least a year out. I've done a lot of work but realize i still have plenty more to do.
Wow, you’re still in the thick of it. I’m glad my Video provided some insights for you. I know that at this moment in your life, you’ve got a lot of challenges. Sometimes the most valuable lessons have the highest tuition. So I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna come out of this so much smarter and more, careful person than you were when you went into it. I’m glad you enjoyed the video. I am gonna be posting something next weekend dealing directly with the stage that you’re in. I already made the video, but I’m not going to upload it until I think Friday around 4 PM. But I made the video based on my state of mind when I was a couple of months out of my marriage. So it may provide you with some insights. Thanks for your comment.
@@john-griffin I appreciate the wisdom and the blunt honesty about this new world I've been tossed into John. But...I can look myself in the mirror every morning and know not only did I do the best I could I did more than most would even attempt. Being with a narcissist definitely takes a toll. Out now and working on myself...a little stronger each day by God's grace.
Hi John, your a very inspirational man. I am 57 and going through the divorce machine right now. I agree, no relationships…I don’t have any urge but to look after my children. Women can wait, It’s been 18 months since she had me arrested and removed from my home. Funny thing is she has abandoned the kids and moved in with a man 12 yrs younger than her. I am happy she is gone after a 30 year marriage and am slowly reclaiming who I am. Thank you for this excellent video.
It sounds like you had a really tough go of it. I’m sorry to hear that. You’re a break up was so difficult. But, once it’s over, you have a clean slate and you can start to rebuild your life. I wish you the very best!
@@johannesswillery7855 and ready to take it from you again , don’t fall in love or cohabit, stsy single or date uncommitted, but take caution if you do
@stevekostakis2983 I'm really sorry to hear this and to be honest, you sound like you are doing incredibly well in the circumstances (without diminishing how hard it is still). Something I'd be keen for John to do a video on, is at the outer edge or the distribution of how divorces go, there's ugly, and then there's deadly. I have been in a full blown crisis, only out of it a few weeks, and it's life changing. The shock, the damage, and no advice I could find to save or help me. Not arrested, but life controlled under its threat, loss of everything, entire existence dismantled. So John, if you're reading this, put that fine mind and wisdom towards mulling a video for guys going through a fully weaponised divorce where it becomes life and death. It could help a lot of men.
I can relate to so much that you went through, but I realized with this video that you actually were very lucky. I was in the same situation as you, but my two girls were younger, and my ex fought me in the courts for them. I can relate to everything before the split, but that is just beginning of the struggle for many of us watching your videos.
Really enjoying your videos, John. You echo most of the same sentiments I've developed since my divorce 10 years ago (and a couple of relationships since). I've found that my peace and tranquility far outmatch what I received in them.
I am 58 year old single white man who has never been married. I have faced personal ridicule and have been bad mouthed behind my back because I have never been married. I have had a few bad relationships with women, and one in particular thar cost me financially. I have been inspired by your videos to try to learn to enjoy simple things in life.
Words will not hurt when you are living your life to your advantage. Never allow anyone to shame you into making decisions or acting against your personal belief system.
Great advice John. I know what you mean about women with issues disturbing your peace of mind. I'm done with that and greatly value my peace of mind and enjoying my own company.
In a couple of months I'm going to be starting my life over again and I am so excited. No more , no more feeling like I'm taking care of a child, I'll have my peace back, I will have money in my account again, and I am never getting married again
I go back to your vids to remind me not to go back to my ex. I provided and did everything i could to keep her happy for 10 years, it was not enough. It’s been 8 months since she said no more, now she realized its not the same without me, wants me back but im staying strong 💪🏼 .
Hello to you. I just wanted to take a moment to say that I've watched several of your videos and have enjoyed them all. But this one hit differently for some reason. It was powerful because it seemed to catch me right in stride with my own thoughts right now. Every point was something I was contemplating, but needed to hear. I can tell you that it instantly pulled me away from these brain dead dating sites with their addictive lures for validation. Thanks for sharing sobering thoughts at a time when we need them most !
Thanks for your input. I’ve had five years of going through all the emotional roller coaster rides you can imagine. Dating sites were among the worst. They’re almost addictive. But there’s a sickness to it. That’s not healthy in any way shape or form. On human beings, as if they’re just not good enough, without knowing anything about them, kind of messes with your mind a little bit. Making judgment on people based on their photographs is not right. And somehow, when you’re doing it, you know it. Plus the illusion that there’s an infinite number of potential partners gives you a sense of, false confidence that the perfect person is out there. We all hold some perfection in our mind for our perfect partner and it’s unrealistic. Creating that unrealistic standard I think leads to a lot of heartbreak and disappointment. It also prevents us from adapting and learning from the people we do meet. I’m glad you like the video. And I really appreciate your comment.
@john-griffin Hi again John and sorry to butt in again, but something I've learnt is you engage unusually richly in the comments section, so that many additional insights roll out from you, or elaborations from the video or other videos on points, or "application" of a general point to the specifics of a particular situation someone has set out, and these are more than complimentary to the value from the videos, they massively amplify it. I just say this by way of encouraging you - as this chennel grows it will become too time consuming to do this but if you knew the value, you might (say) create a manageable habit of responding richly say, for the first 24hrs after a video has landed, before dropping to a conventional and more sustainably lower level? I just didn't want you to not realise how powerfully the engagement is helping others and adding to your channel. All the best, just some feedback, it's for you to judge what's best 😀
I like the fact you mentioned getting to know your self once again well after being married for 23years and her passing away its definitely a wake up call next month will be my first year on my own with out my wife by my side in December it would officially be a year I laid her to rest .do I want someone in my life again I don't know all I know I am asking for God's guidance on starting a new chapter in my life .
If I were in your shoes, I would be looking to start friendships with women. Maybe join clubs where we play cards and have other social activities. That way you can experience yourself in social situations where some flirting can occur and you can rebuild your confidence. I think if you get out there too quickly, it’s easy to become emotionally attached to someone and later regret it. I’m sorry about your loss, I certainly wish you the best.
@@john-griffin I have recently gone back to church and most people seem to be older then me I am 56 my self I do have a few female friends I know but thay used to care for my late wife and the friendship is always going to be professional as thay are married I also know there husbands. As for the older ladies in the church I think thay might be in there 60s up woulds and thay do a meal once a week and I go along to that and chat to a few older guys who have lost there wife's though illness or old age some have been married years some longer then me .but i am taking things step by step at this moment in time i am going a way for a few days to recharge. Hopefully God will give me his wisdom I am not worried if I do stay on my own before I met the late wife I lived on my own for 9 years but that was a long time ago .everythings different now but as my late wife would say i am doing ok or don't worry about it things will work out OK thank for your replay John keep on moving forward with your life as well
I think you just need to allow this time to be what it is. Acceptance for what you’re going through is extremely important. This is a unique time in your life and it serves a unique purpose. Just allow it. If and when the time comes to consider bringing another woman into your life, you will know it. You certainly do not want to enter into another relationship at a time when you still haven’t completely resolved the emotional trauma of your loss. I wish you the best.
Love your content, nature images and sounds are just SO relaxing and high quality, definitely gives a great vibe to your videos. I’m 44 and divorcing after 15 years with 3 kids and the wisdom you bring helps me a lot.
Thanks. I found it getting outside helped soothe my emotions when I was going through it. So I figured I would bring the outside to everybody, but I’m get a feel for it. Plus, I spent a lot of time out there and shooting video and editing and all that takes up a ton of time, so it was for me just knocked out two birds with one stone. Thanks again I appreciate the input.
Dear John, great advice. However I would include this addendum: After divorce, you need to be more specific than just to say “wait awhile” before dating again. That’s way too vague. My rule of thumb is: After divorce, wait a bare minimum of 2 years before starting to date again. Many divorcees get involved with a new person “on the rebound” from their previous relationship. They are really just looking for validation that they are still desirable to a person of the opposite sex and to show their “EX” that somebody else still wants them. This is a horrible reason to start dating again. Therefore: A divorcee needs to wait at least 2 years because they need to #1 Heal, and #2, do a lot of internal soul searching and self analysis about their completed relationship with their “EX.” Many will scoff at my “wait 2 years” rule, but I truly believe that this rule is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to follow if you want to give your new relationship a chance to succeed.
@@john-griffin Thanks John. I lost my best friend to suicide last year (jumped off a parking garage), largely because he kept jumping into (no pun intended), a new relationship before he had properly healed from his previous one. He kept making the same mistake again and again. He just had to have a woman in his life; it was his top priority above all else. Well, after repeating this pattern at least 4X throughout his 68 years, he finally could take no more. And I am left behind to cope. I tried to tell him to wait after each relationship ended, but he would not listen to me.
I've been stacking a few years and got to the point over a year ago that all I stack now is ASEs and AGEs except for a year/date of several other sovereigns.
I love being alone,I’ve been divorced since 2019 after 15 years of marriage, and have not dated at all. Spend a lot of time developing my spiritual, mental, physical, financial and emotional health. Today I’m loving life. I love coming home to an empty place eating alone and hearing the bird chirping outside. The peace and tranquility is beyond any money can buy. Stay out of the plantation gents….
Yeah, they always leave at your weakest, at your lowest, at the time of hardship, as if you hadn`t been by her side on multiple occasions when she had HER crises.
If you cannot be alone as a man, you have a serious handicap in my opinion. In my view you havn't been able to get fully serperated from your mother for some reason. You'll be searching for a love and commitment another woman can never give. It's called male mother need. If you cannot be alone as a man, you have no business getting into a relationship (in my humble opnion).
I think we are pretty good at being solitary most of the time. We probably evolved that way because I would imagine that men had to spend some time on their own if they were out hunting in ancient times. I think we lose that talent because of the constant stimulation in our current world. You’re never more than a few seconds away from my conversation with someone. The ability to be alone, an amazing talent or skill that I think every man should master
8:34 That's interesting, John. I remember that in one of your recent videos you mentioned that "friends with benefits" was a good concept as you really get yourself a hold of a friend who can understand you and to whom you are physically attracted. Or do you specifically not recommend it only when it's right after the divorce time? Basically, it still would be a good thing but in a year or 2. Is that the case?
With all my long time GFs (and well, all FWBs too), I've always had lots of sex. I'm fit, have drive, and well, I've made a conscious decision to be good at it and chose partners that loved it too. So going from that to single is many step backwards in many levels, including this. I know many have been stuck in platonic relationships, but it's never been the case for me. Since it's of course when I was finally committed and in love that I was dumped - the typical story of when you give women what they want then they start to lose attraction - I was really hurt, and I realized I was seeking "love" more than sex after breakups. But again, opposite to what women say they want, in that mode I barely get attention. As a carefree player, I get much more. What a stupid "game" we all play. But we don't make up the rules. Disregarding them would make no sense.
This is depressing and eye opening at the same time. This channel gives the cold hard truth. I have seen so many divorces around me. I am nearing 40. After all these years, I finally met someone who seems great, seems to like me and we get along quite well. I would love to get married but at the same time, I have a more realistic view of love and relationship now that I am older, and I really wonder if the juice is really worth the squeeze. I am scared of disappointment and losing my freedom. Relationship or Freedom? which is best? I can't decide.
What i like about your videos is the respect you have for women. You don't bash them for their behavior and calmly state your opinions. Many of these tye of videos are very spiteful towards women which i as a father of a wonderful daughter strongly despise.
Do ANY women NOT have issues ??? With divorce at an all time high, and the media pounding the message that women don't need men , will marriage survive ? or should it ??
Those are really good questions. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to see marriage evolve into something different. Probably something more contractual. Something with more reasonable expectations. Some people will stay together for life and they’ll enjoy their marriages. Others will stay together to raise children, and then part friends. I think there’s just a better way and I think we’re smart enough to figure it out.
The truth is, they got off one horse long before that horse realized it. And they got on the horse long before the horse realized he had been dismounted.
@@john-griffin this i have realized. mine strung me along for 3 months in our separation as she looked for the next branch, but not before sleeping wiht me one last time in hopes of baby trapping me. it failed.
@@WhiteGhost21They always have a backup plan before leaving and have left the relationship long before you notice it. The second her behavior changes from bad to worse, she has her backup plan in place and is getting her "ducks in a row" to pull the trigger. If you are a relationship guy, never get married, never cohabitate, move on at the first sign of crazy AND, most importantly, NEVER give them certainty.
@@WTHenry2023 sound advice. unfortunately much was on me. and i never signed the marriage certificate do to my fear of all that i had to lose when or if later on i would want out. i was kind of the one with the toxic antics, but hers came out too when it ended. she got the condo still.
You’ve said several times there are no no strings attached relationships. You mean that even if we don’t think it’s serious the woman treats it like it is?
@@john-griffin haha! Have a close relationship with my adult son and daughter, also my daughter’s pupper. He’s the village dog! Busy job, long hours, put family and life experiences before romantic relationships. Watched a lot of You Tube content on relationships and self improvement. You are one of the better content providers for my age demographics. New subscriber.
Marriage is a mostly trading sex unless if the girl is matured enough and has earned enough by her hardwork or from her parents hardwork. Even then they will prefer a richer person. There is no concept called love forever. Love is there in younger days and after that it’s all about money,lifestyle and freedom.If one doesn’t like it then there is nothing it can be done.
That reflex to go out and meet someone came to him about 3 years before our separation, so : / It sucked, especially for our kids, but, it was a catalyst for changes in me. I spent a lot of time trying to revive the dead horse that was my marriage in hopes of not keeping my kids from being further damage by his infidelity. In reality, they were already hurting my his emotional neglect and his lies. Healing from all of that kind of pushes me to one conclusion, "I can't wait to never be married again." I don't know if I will ever date. I want to be alone. No rebound tours for me.
Dating is challenging as we get older. I question whether we are actually dating. I think its more a young mans game. From an observations perspective it seems a lot of broken people are available to date I am talking post 40 like choas drama etc and you need to be a psychologist etc. I appreciate sounds negative but this is my observations and experiences at times. It can be a shit show really.
I had to go to my car dealership recently to get a new car orientation. The woman who worked with me was a very pretty 40 something. We had polite, flirty but not obviously, conversation. When I left, she sent me a text as a follow up. I asked her if she wanted to get together sometime and she said yes. I felt like I just won the big game! So, yes, just do it.
Sugarland Run Stream Valley in Virginia. The stream creates a floodplain. It’s fed by three Springs nearby. It runs into the Potomac river. It emerges with a number of other streams as well. Because it forms a floodplain there is no building on that stretch of land. There are about seven or 8 miles of hiking trails that follow the stream. it’s a beautiful area as you can tell from the videos. I bought my house near it on purpose because I get such value from being close to it and walking those trails with my dogs.
Dont wait to date, wait to get into a relationship or get remarried. Its perfectly ok to date and not rush into an exclusive relationship right away, Thats where men mostly go wrong and ditch their kids.
Me at 63 23 years married.
Never ever expected to finish up single. But it's now been about 3 years. I'm feeling great, and don't care about getting involved with someone else. Retirement pending, good health is now a priority with me. If i do meet someone... i have no expectations at all.
Good luck everyone, stay well.
Thanks for your comment. Stay healthy!
Nice one mate 👍
Just be carefull.
Do things you can do while in good health, travel, bike, walk, have sex...
I find that men over 50 yo get involved or married again too fast; if I end up single I'll try my best to keep it as non- contractual as possible. No marriage, no cohabitation or buying houses together. Maybe living apart. Or just having many fwb.
@armyparrot9353 exactly my thoughts. I'm with you..... stay well.
After my divorce, I've been having the most peace I've ever had in my entire life! Lots of introspect, learning to respect myself on a much deeper level and knowing exactly what I'm willing and not willing to put up with is invaluable.
Thanks brother-I’m 33. I was with my wife for 6 years, married for one. She dropped the divorce bomb three weeks ago completely out of the blue. This is tough but I know I’ll get through this.
On the bright side, at least you didn't have to go through 20 years of a bad marriage before it all came crashing down! Definately check out my video on Thriving After Divorce. Even through Im alot older than you, the issues are pretty similar. ua-cam.com/video/9exxuDWnByE/v-deo.html
@@john-griffin that’s the same conclusion I came to. The video you linked is what brought me to this one.
I have many things going for me right now. I have incredible friends - my best buds since kindergarten, my promotion came through at work, and i have a great income.
Through you I’ve realized that I just need to be selfish for once in my life. Keep doing what you do!
@@bobmcbobface1602 when I made the video I had no idea how many guys had similar experiences
She did you an unbelievable favor. As the video explains, wait to date. I was fortunate to have a good therapist who suggested I wait one year. I remember thinking I would be married in a year. She was right. After a year, I began to be able to see things clearly. Way more able to spot the red flags. Be patient friend, as a man, time is on your side.
The fact that you are open to advice puts you way ahead of the curve and advice like this is gold.
Great videos!! I'm 60 y/o been divorced for 6 years, after 32 years of marriage. I love living alone, the kids are grown and doing ok, we're all getting along now. Life is good.
58, marroed for 32, separated for 2, divorced for 1, I filed...your spot on. The peace is deafening and real, boys are doing great, grateful for all the things in my life. ....rock on dude.
I’m finding the loss of my family unit hard guys.
I’m younger, just turned 40.
Been separated 2.5 years divorced just over a year.
I see my two boys fairly regular but because they are young I feel I lost a future raising them as a team of man and wife ?
I've watched all your videos on divorcing now: the depth of thought and wisdom is a class above anything out there. I'm saying that as a divorcing man who has watched literally hundreds of videos in an effort to find some path through, so it's incredible after all that to find another level of advice, or to be surprised. The video about understanding marriage before you marry, yep I think every young person should see that one, absolute truth spoken. It's too soon to show my teenage sons, but at the right time in a few years, I'll be sitting them down in front of it because it says it better than I ever could. Your videos deserve to get a wider following and in time I'm sure that will accumulate. Thank you.
Thanks for your kind words. I never wanted to get divorced. So when it happened, I was really sideswiped hard. I had to really give a lot of thought to what had happened to me and what I was gonna do now. I knew that if I allowed it to, The divorce could have really derailed my entire life. The process of getting my bearings and prioritizing my life was enlightening and improved all of my relationships and experiences. I’m glad that you’re benefiting from it. It’s ironic that my ex-wife has a lot of responsibility for teaching me a lot of these lessons. I don’t think that was her intention. Sometimes it’s funny how life what you need not necessarily what you want. I think the Rolling Stones already said that.😄
@john-griffin Thank you for taking the time to respond John and for those further reflections. One funny point - I actually call my wife my teacher for exactly the same reasons! I have learnt more from her than any other human being in my life. The irrony is not because she bests my greatest university professor or wisest friend, but because the journey she put me through created lessons - awful lessons for sure - that could not be learnt any other way. I hope some good can come of it but I'm still completely trapped in the thick of the divorce process so a while yet before I'm freed to live a life informed by those lessons.
I remember there was a psychologist who was an author back in the 90s named Wayne Dyer. And he said something in one of his books about soulmates. He said a soulmate is not some romantic perfect person for you but rather is the person who is here to teach you the hardest lessons.when I first heard him say that I thought that sounds like bullshit to me. But now, I think he may have had some insights. I believe he had been divorced three times by them, so maybe he actually knew the truth.😂
@john-griffin Thank you again John - I am now doing a binge on Wayne Dyer - wonders of UA-cam you can put something like that in front of me and voila, it's all to hand to watch a few keystrokes away even though it's mostly from the 1990s. I will be back to continue binging on your videos soon though 😀
Your sincere reflections are powerful.
34 Divorced Man with 2yr daughter - went through a nasty divorce completely blindsided its now over and as a recrmyly single man this channel has been a sanctuary. Keep up the videos!
Thanks
I'm a 54 year old very single person ( woman) for the first time in my life and i am very much enjoying 🎉your videos! I love how they start and how you film them and how you talk even. .Your videos are excellent and i came home tonight to watch some more .💪😊❤
You are so right that getting to know yourself after divorce is very difficult and terrifying for a lot of men. Especially because we tie up our entire identity into the role as a husband, provider, and protector. When the marriage falls apart, it's an ego-death. And finding out who we really are can be daunting AF. A lot of men struggle really hard in this phase of their lives. But therein also lies a massive opportunity for growth and becoming an even better person than you were before. It's all about applying the right mindset and listening to videos such as this one is a solid step along the way.
thank you 62 here , 32 years married. 1.5 years divorced and recovering, all within 2 year span , knee replacement, hernia, surgery, sobriety, and rehab, and then divorce…. Your spot on about quality time used the dating scams learning to be at peace and enjoying your newfound, but yet abundant freedom.. I haven’t been on any dates and I’m not sure that I want to somehow wise enough to realize I didn’t want to fall into a trap trying to replace void or something else.
@user-zj5ml3yq7k Sometimes the juice is not worth the squeeze.
But it should be said to have an open mind. But be wary.... Enjoy and put your freedom first.
Man see women as someone to complete them and provide female joys. No one can complete you. The price for pleasure is usually someone who is out using you. 90% of women marry someone they don't love. Get a dog.
@davegayaldo sounds to like you got your head on straight. Maybe now some of those medical problems will back of now.ive been there also ,many operations also going in oct 15 to get operated on again, One of the best thingsthat happened was i got devorsed over 30 yrs ago, its been super peacefull every since.that cured me from ever wanting to date again, thats like playing with nitro glisseran.I learned my lesson, I love my peace and quiet.
@@OziBlokeTimG good advise,and well put,,i agree with all you said.
At 60 getting ready to go through this myself.
Good Luck, brother! Be careful and go slow.
Self care and priorities yourself don’t play their game !
I’m sorry. Me too after 20 years. We are a year into it and the shock has worn off now. I am looking forward to my future
Sir, you are a jewel in this space, your life experience, knowledge and articulate way, will make the channel grow, young guys need TO get the years of experience you Sir have. I realize more and more that everything in Life is about learning the nature of the things before we aquire of go for them
I agree with everything you say! Forgiving yourself is the first step. Trusting in your decisions and goals. . Give yourself the same attention and dedication that you've given to others all through the years. Never let anybody into your frame that doesn't enhance your life.
My partner cheated and left me we was together 10yrs. I loved her very much but I'm struggling to deal with single life at 53 nobody to talk to nobody to hug nobody to eat with. I've never been single since i was 18 i wish i was strong like you because I'm really struggling. Great video thanks
Thanks for your comment, I’m sorry you’re going through the tough experience of being on your own for the first time. I put a video today about what it was like for me when I found myself alone. I think the thumbnail on the video says divorced, not dead. Check it out. I think there’s some really helpful tips in there that you might find useful. Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate it.
@Paul-of3ut Stay with us Paul... read, write, get outside..
@OziBlokeTimG thanks Im still here. I joined a gym trying to keep myself occupied
@@Paul-of3ut One common problem people have in life-changing situations like yours, is to understand that what you feel right now, is only temporary. And everyone can endure pain, loss etc, in the moment, the hard part is you think of it as a constant that won't change. It will change!
Hello Paul, Hope you are ok! I good thing that will help you feel stronger, more confident and healthy is resistance training. Buy a bench and a set of dumbells and watch youtube videos on training for over 60s. It will really give you a lift!
First that is a great park that you have to go out and recharge. After 38 years of marriage, I am the one that pulled the trigger. I was afraid of the financial loss, but after being physically and verbally abused, I filed for divorce. I realized that living with waking up each morning dreading what the day will bring is worse than being broke on my 60's. About a year after my divorce, I retired. I probably violated a rule by inviting a big life change after another one.
About 4 months after my divorce, I was pushed into a date by a female friend, with a nice looking woman who was close in my age. I thought the date well but evidently she was not attracted to me. The worst thing was that I learned that she shared everything about our date and conversation with that friend of mine. Why do women always have to discuss everything with their friends? I do feel at peace right now. I enjoy my dogs and my hobbies. I enjoy being alone and through Meet-Up I joined some hiking and kayaking groups and I have people to go out and do things with. I am not sure that I want to do the whole going out on a date thing. not sure if that is normal.
Congratulations on having the guts to do it. The price of freedom is high and the tuition for the lessons we learn isn't cheap either. But, you are better for it. Thanks, John
Always understand women share secret details with their female friends. There is no secrecy. They share every detail. I know first-hand.
John your content helps a lot of men. Keep it up. Men in a separation, divorce situation need this content. When divorce first happens and your wife is done with you, you feel that it is only you going through this. Turns out this happens to thousands and thousands of men.
Thanks
More like Millions...
I love what you have to say. It's genuinely refreshing to hear this from a male perspective. I love what you say about peace of mind. I feel it. I am still in the process of divorcing my husband who left me after 29 years of marriage, 2 1/2 years ago. I'm 53. I am in the process of completely reinventing myself and am determined to keep healing myself and finding myself before ever going back out there again, even though I really miss companionship and closeness at times. If I keep doing the work, it may happen but I have no expectations. Thank you. I'm glad I came across your channel.
At 48 I could barely function after my divorce much less date so I waited about 3 years which happened to be the best decision ever. Yeah it sucked getting used to being completely alone but you push through and after a while, you start to see the positives. It also provided time to focus on my kid and save a some $$$ doing gig work on the side when I didn't have her.
Being single has been a blessing for me. At first it was tough, but now, I won't marry again.
Great advice.
I'm a woman and I have found so many women to be some of the bossiest people I've ever met.
I also found them to be the least knowledgeable that I've ever met.
Love your videos and keep enjoying life !!!
Thanks!
55 and now free from my narcissist ex. Not upset, no anger but focusing on me. But... What is so sad is that married women I knew were now interested; hypergamy. I am fit, in shape for my age and exercise a lot and do well. But the level of entitlement from women my age, I find absolutely astounding when they approach me. As though I should first thank them for walking up and talking to me and showing interest. No, I am done for good. No friends with benefits, etc. I will be happy on my own. Dating and marriage are simply not worth it anymore. Walking away and happy about it.
Thank you for your videos John. They've been invaluable for me in my journey. It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I'm not angry anymore. Also, I realize my mistakes in the marriage. What I've realized is that I've been alone for years and just didn't realize it or was in denial about it. Thanks again.
I’m glad my videos are helping. Thanks for your feedback.
Hey John, excellent advice. 3 months out of an 8 year marriage and doing everything you touched on in this video. Been doing the work on myself and honestly have no interest in dating until I'm at least a year out. I've done a lot of work but realize i still have plenty more to do.
Wow, you’re still in the thick of it. I’m glad my Video provided some insights for you. I know that at this moment in your life, you’ve got a lot of challenges. Sometimes the most valuable lessons have the highest tuition. So I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna come out of this so much smarter and more, careful person than you were when you went into it. I’m glad you enjoyed the video. I am gonna be posting something next weekend dealing directly with the stage that you’re in. I already made the video, but I’m not going to upload it until I think Friday around 4 PM. But I made the video based on my state of mind when I was a couple of months out of my marriage. So it may provide you with some insights. Thanks for your comment.
@@john-griffin I appreciate the wisdom and the blunt honesty about this new world I've been tossed into John. But...I can look myself in the mirror every morning and know not only did I do the best I could I did more than most would even attempt. Being with a narcissist definitely takes a toll. Out now and working on myself...a little stronger each day by God's grace.
It hurts how spot on you are. You solidified what I already thought and talked about stuff I haven't encountered yet.
Hi John, your a very inspirational man. I am 57 and going through the divorce machine right now. I agree, no relationships…I don’t have any urge but to look after my children. Women can wait, It’s been 18 months since she had me arrested and removed from my home. Funny thing is she has abandoned the kids and moved in with a man 12 yrs younger than her. I am happy she is gone after a 30 year marriage and am slowly reclaiming who I am. Thank you for this excellent video.
It sounds like you had a really tough go of it. I’m sorry to hear that. You’re a break up was so difficult. But, once it’s over, you have a clean slate and you can start to rebuild your life. I wish you the very best!
Work on yourself friend. When you are fit financially, emotionally and physically, women will beat your door down.
@@johannesswillery7855 Thsnk you for your kind words of support
@@johannesswillery7855 and ready to take it from you again , don’t fall in love or cohabit, stsy single or date uncommitted, but take caution if you do
@stevekostakis2983 I'm really sorry to hear this and to be honest, you sound like you are doing incredibly well in the circumstances (without diminishing how hard it is still). Something I'd be keen for John to do a video on, is at the outer edge or the distribution of how divorces go, there's ugly, and then there's deadly. I have been in a full blown crisis, only out of it a few weeks, and it's life changing. The shock, the damage, and no advice I could find to save or help me. Not arrested, but life controlled under its threat, loss of everything, entire existence dismantled. So John, if you're reading this, put that fine mind and wisdom towards mulling a video for guys going through a fully weaponised divorce where it becomes life and death. It could help a lot of men.
You make a lot of sense John ,the way you speak is so good.Your easy to understand. Good job John .
Agree
Thank you! I really appreciate that!
Remember gents, it's not your job to make her happy or anybody.
I can relate to so much that you went through, but I realized with this video that you actually were very lucky. I was in the same situation as you, but my two girls were younger, and my ex fought me in the courts for them. I can relate to everything before the split, but that is just beginning of the struggle for many of us watching your videos.
Thanks John! Encouraging words. In my 60's and 30 year relationship about to go south. So I appreciate your experience and thoughts on this.
All change seems hard at first. But once it’s done you will see that it was much easier than you expected.
Great information John. Beautiful scenery too!
Thanks 👍
This channel is a blessing from God. Seriously. Thank you.
Thanks, I really appreciate that
Really enjoying your videos, John. You echo most of the same sentiments I've developed since my divorce 10 years ago (and a couple of relationships since). I've found that my peace and tranquility far outmatch what I received in them.
I am 58 year old single white man who has never been married. I have faced personal ridicule and have been bad mouthed behind my back because I have never been married. I have had a few bad relationships with women, and one in particular thar cost me financially. I have been inspired by your videos to try to learn to enjoy simple things in life.
Words will not hurt when you are living your life to your advantage. Never allow anyone to shame you into making decisions or acting against your personal belief system.
Love your presentations with being experienced.
Really loved listening to this while picking up my house. Gling through a divorce. Keep the videos comin please
Great advice John. I know what you mean about women with issues disturbing your peace of mind. I'm done with that and greatly value my peace of mind and enjoying my own company.
👍 it’s peaceful in your mind when you’re not worried about what your wife thinks or wants you to do
Im 32, not even married but these videos are so insightful.
Thanks
Dude you’re the best. Love the honesty
Thanks
In a couple of months I'm going to be starting my life over again and I am so excited. No more , no more feeling like I'm taking care of a child, I'll have my peace back, I will have money in my account again, and I am never getting married again
This was a great one and all us newly single guys need to hear it.
Excellent Excellent, Advice. Much appreciated Sir. Thanks for posting.
Glad it was helpful!
I go back to your vids to remind me not to go back to my ex.
I provided and did everything i could to keep her happy for 10 years, it was not enough.
It’s been 8 months since she said no more, now she realized its not the same without me, wants me back but im staying strong 💪🏼 .
Mine too. But, that just makes it all more satisfying at some level. Knowing she regrets all of her actions makes me a little happy.
Hello to you. I just wanted to take a moment to say that I've watched several of your videos and have enjoyed them all. But this one hit differently for some reason. It was powerful because it seemed to catch me right in stride with my own thoughts right now. Every point was something I was contemplating, but needed to hear. I can tell you that it instantly pulled me away from these brain dead dating sites with their addictive lures for validation. Thanks for sharing sobering thoughts at a time when we need them most !
Thanks for your input. I’ve had five years of going through all the emotional roller coaster rides you can imagine. Dating sites were among the worst. They’re almost addictive. But there’s a sickness to it. That’s not healthy in any way shape or form. On human beings, as if they’re just not good enough, without knowing anything about them, kind of messes with your mind a little bit. Making judgment on people based on their photographs is not right. And somehow, when you’re doing it, you know it. Plus the illusion that there’s an infinite number of potential partners gives you a sense of, false confidence that the perfect person is out there. We all hold some perfection in our mind for our perfect partner and it’s unrealistic. Creating that unrealistic standard I think leads to a lot of heartbreak and disappointment. It also prevents us from adapting and learning from the people we do meet. I’m glad you like the video. And I really appreciate your comment.
@john-griffin Hi again John and sorry to butt in again, but something I've learnt is you engage unusually richly in the comments section, so that many additional insights roll out from you, or elaborations from the video or other videos on points, or "application" of a general point to the specifics of a particular situation someone has set out, and these are more than complimentary to the value from the videos, they massively amplify it. I just say this by way of encouraging you - as this chennel grows it will become too time consuming to do this but if you knew the value, you might (say) create a manageable habit of responding richly say, for the first 24hrs after a video has landed, before dropping to a conventional and more sustainably lower level? I just didn't want you to not realise how powerfully the engagement is helping others and adding to your channel. All the best, just some feedback, it's for you to judge what's best 😀
YES YES YES! I love this! THANK YOU!
Glad you like it!
Excellent insights. Thank you very much. :)
Glad it was helpful! Thanks
Thanks for this. I wish I'd been aware of this before. Your sound advice will help many.
I especially appreciate Your genuine testimony. Keep it up 👍
Glad you enjoyed it
I like the fact you mentioned getting to know your self once again well after being married for 23years and her passing away its definitely a wake up call next month will be my first year on my own with out my wife by my side in December it would officially be a year I laid her to rest .do I want someone in my life again I don't know all I know I am asking for God's guidance on starting a new chapter in my life .
If I were in your shoes, I would be looking to start friendships with women. Maybe join clubs where we play cards and have other social activities. That way you can experience yourself in social situations where some flirting can occur and you can rebuild your confidence. I think if you get out there too quickly, it’s easy to become emotionally attached to someone and later regret it. I’m sorry about your loss, I certainly wish you the best.
@@john-griffin I have recently gone back to church and most people seem to be older then me I am 56 my self I do have a few female friends I know but thay used to care for my late wife and the friendship is always going to be professional as thay are married I also know there husbands. As for the older ladies in the church I think thay might be in there 60s up woulds and thay do a meal once a week and I go along to that and chat to a few older guys who have lost there wife's though illness or old age some have been married years some longer then me .but i am taking things step by step at this moment in time i am going a way for a few days to recharge. Hopefully God will give me his wisdom I am not worried if I do stay on my own before I met the late wife I lived on my own for 9 years but that was a long time ago .everythings different now but as my late wife would say i am doing ok or don't worry about it things will work out OK thank for your replay John keep on moving forward with your life as well
I think you just need to allow this time to be what it is. Acceptance for what you’re going through is extremely important. This is a unique time in your life and it serves a unique purpose. Just allow it. If and when the time comes to consider bringing another woman into your life, you will know it. You certainly do not want to enter into another relationship at a time when you still haven’t completely resolved the emotional trauma of your loss. I wish you the best.
@@john-griffin thankyou for the words of wisdom
Love your content, nature images and sounds are just SO relaxing and high quality, definitely gives a great vibe to your videos. I’m 44 and divorcing after 15 years with 3 kids and the wisdom you bring helps me a lot.
Thanks. I found it getting outside helped soothe my emotions when I was going through it. So I figured I would bring the outside to everybody, but I’m get a feel for it. Plus, I spent a lot of time out there and shooting video and editing and all that takes up a ton of time, so it was for me just knocked out two birds with one stone. Thanks again I appreciate the input.
Remember guys not all women are sugar and spice, and all things nice......some are anything but. Stay strong brothers.
Dear John, great advice. However I would include this addendum: After divorce, you need to be more specific than just to say “wait awhile” before dating again. That’s way too vague. My rule of thumb is: After divorce, wait a bare minimum of 2 years before starting to date again. Many divorcees get involved with a new person “on the rebound” from their previous relationship. They are really just looking for validation that they are still desirable to a person of the opposite sex and to show their “EX” that somebody else still wants them. This is a horrible reason to start dating again. Therefore: A divorcee needs to wait at least 2 years because they need to #1 Heal, and #2, do a lot of internal soul searching and self analysis about their completed relationship with their “EX.” Many will scoff at my “wait 2 years” rule, but I truly believe that this rule is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to follow if you want to give your new relationship a chance to succeed.
That’s really good advice and probably good information for another video on the subject. Thanks.
@@john-griffin Thanks John. I lost my best friend to suicide last year (jumped off a parking garage), largely because he kept jumping into (no pun intended), a new relationship before he had properly healed from his previous one. He kept making the same mistake again and again. He just had to have a woman in his life; it was his top priority above all else. Well, after repeating this pattern at least 4X throughout his 68 years, he finally could take no more. And I am left behind to cope. I tried to tell him to wait after each relationship ended, but he would not listen to me.
I've been stacking a few years and got to the point over a year ago that all I stack now is ASEs and AGEs except for a year/date of several other sovereigns.
I love being alone,I’ve been divorced since 2019 after 15 years of marriage, and have not dated at all.
Spend a lot of time developing my spiritual, mental, physical, financial and emotional health. Today I’m loving life.
I love coming home to an empty place eating alone and hearing the bird chirping outside. The peace and tranquility is beyond any money can buy. Stay out of the plantation gents….
Yeah, they always leave at your weakest, at your lowest, at the time of hardship, as if you hadn`t been by her side on multiple occasions when she had HER crises.
anger hahaha...more angry for the debts...the ex wife really happy to see her go...I really like your content
great to listen to you
Thanks, I really appreciate that!
Your so smart john blokes rush in way too quick
After a few years alone I can't really stomach the thought of another woman trying to control me. Fuggetaboutit.
If you cannot be alone as a man, you have a serious handicap in my opinion. In my view you havn't been able to get fully serperated from your mother for some reason. You'll be searching for a love and commitment another woman can never give. It's called male mother need. If you cannot be alone as a man, you have no business getting into a relationship (in my humble opnion).
I think we are pretty good at being solitary most of the time. We probably evolved that way because I would imagine that men had to spend some time on their own if they were out hunting in ancient times. I think we lose that talent because of the constant stimulation in our current world. You’re never more than a few seconds away from my conversation with someone. The ability to be alone, an amazing talent or skill that I think every man should master
8:34 That's interesting, John. I remember that in one of your recent videos you mentioned that "friends with benefits" was a good concept as you really get yourself a hold of a friend who can understand you and to whom you are physically attracted.
Or do you specifically not recommend it only when it's right after the divorce time? Basically, it still would be a good thing but in a year or 2. Is that the case?
Yeah, I think you need to wait a year or two after your divorce before you start making new friends
With all my long time GFs (and well, all FWBs too), I've always had lots of sex. I'm fit, have drive, and well, I've made a conscious decision to be good at it and chose partners that loved it too. So going from that to single is many step backwards in many levels, including this. I know many have been stuck in platonic relationships, but it's never been the case for me. Since it's of course when I was finally committed and in love that I was dumped - the typical story of when you give women what they want then they start to lose attraction - I was really hurt, and I realized I was seeking "love" more than sex after breakups. But again, opposite to what women say they want, in that mode I barely get attention. As a carefree player, I get much more. What a stupid "game" we all play. But we don't make up the rules. Disregarding them would make no sense.
I have waited 17years since my divorce, I am just not ready yet 🤣
This is depressing and eye opening at the same time. This channel gives the cold hard truth. I have seen so many divorces around me. I am nearing 40. After all these years, I finally met someone who seems great, seems to like me and we get along quite well. I would love to get married but at the same time, I have a more realistic view of love and relationship now that I am older, and I really wonder if the juice is really worth the squeeze. I am scared of disappointment and losing my freedom. Relationship or Freedom? which is best? I can't decide.
Freedom, bro. Freedom.
I'm choosing freedom 😎
What i like about your videos is the respect you have for women. You don't bash them for their behavior and calmly state your opinions. Many of these tye of videos are very spiteful towards women which i as a father of a wonderful daughter strongly despise.
Do ANY women NOT have issues ??? With divorce at an all time high, and the media pounding the message that women don't need men , will marriage survive ? or should it ??
Those are really good questions. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to see marriage evolve into something different. Probably something more contractual. Something with more reasonable expectations. Some people will stay together for life and they’ll enjoy their marriages. Others will stay together to raise children, and then part friends. I think there’s just a better way and I think we’re smart enough to figure it out.
women sure tend to get back on that horse fast
The truth is, they got off one horse long before that horse realized it. And they got on the horse long before the horse realized he had been dismounted.
@@john-griffin this i have realized. mine strung me along for 3 months in our separation as she looked for the next branch, but not before sleeping wiht me one last time in hopes of baby trapping me. it failed.
@@WhiteGhost21They always have a backup plan before leaving and have left the relationship long before you notice it. The second her behavior changes from bad to worse, she has her backup plan in place and is getting her "ducks in a row" to pull the trigger. If you are a relationship guy, never get married, never cohabitate, move on at the first sign of crazy AND, most importantly, NEVER give them certainty.
@@WTHenry2023 sound advice. unfortunately much was on me. and i never signed the marriage certificate do to my fear of all that i had to lose when or if later on i would want out. i was kind of the one with the toxic antics, but hers came out too when it ended. she got the condo still.
Evolution is your biggest competion. Survival as a Bachelor is your objective. Survival over a long period of time.
Don’t rush to marry or even live in together. Embrace being single and go out dating only. Do not rush to make big commitment.
It depends. If you met someone, just have a relationship. Dont get marry at least 2 yrs after your divorce if your planning to.
You’ve said several times there are no no strings attached relationships. You mean that even if we don’t think it’s serious the woman treats it like it is?
Once you start sleeping with a woman, you’re developing a relationship. There will be expectations, even if she says there aren’t there are.
No Woman....No Cry
The dad we never had
Better to be alone with nobody next to you in bed, than to feel alone with somebody next to you in bed.
very true
Wow, such true words!
So I guess we will just wait for the tesla robots haha
I think a lot of guys are waiting for those robots
I’ve waited 11 years never been on a date after a 25 year marriage. I think that’s long enough.
Be careful out there. We've lost some good men.
@@john-griffin haha! Have a close relationship with my adult son and daughter, also my daughter’s pupper. He’s the village dog! Busy job, long hours, put family and life experiences before romantic relationships. Watched a lot of You Tube content on relationships and self improvement. You are one of the better content providers for my age demographics. New subscriber.
Marriage is a mostly trading sex unless if the girl is matured enough and has earned enough by her hardwork or from her parents hardwork. Even then they will prefer a richer person. There is no concept called love forever. Love is there in younger days and after that it’s all about money,lifestyle and freedom.If one doesn’t like it then there is nothing it can be done.
That reflex to go out and meet someone came to him about 3 years before our separation, so : / It sucked, especially for our kids, but, it was a catalyst for changes in me. I spent a lot of time trying to revive the dead horse that was my marriage in hopes of not keeping my kids from being further damage by his infidelity. In reality, they were already hurting my his emotional neglect and his lies. Healing from all of that kind of pushes me to one conclusion, "I can't wait to never be married again." I don't know if I will ever date. I want to be alone. No rebound tours for me.
The Bachelor Life: Self Before Society.
Dating is challenging as we get older. I question whether we are actually dating. I think its more a young mans game. From an observations perspective it seems a lot of broken people are available to date I am talking post 40 like choas drama etc and you need to be a psychologist etc. I appreciate sounds negative but this is my observations and experiences at times. It can be a shit show really.
Absolutely correct, a lot of broken people over 40
@@hratchchaderjian-vb9pf I have seen it. Many need to work on themselves first. A relationship won't fix your problems.
@@melenico4512 Agree!!
Hi john can a man ask a mature woman out, Even if he does not know her?, or is that cringe?, what are your views , great channel, really hits home
I had to go to my car dealership recently to get a new car orientation. The woman who worked with me was a very pretty 40 something. We had polite, flirty but not obviously, conversation. When I left, she sent me a text as a follow up. I asked her if she wanted to get together sometime and she said yes.
I felt like I just won the big game! So, yes, just do it.
The scam thing, these scammers find you first when you start dating again
What park are you walking around in?
Sugarland Run Stream Valley in Virginia. The stream creates a floodplain. It’s fed by three Springs nearby. It runs into the Potomac river. It emerges with a number of other streams as well. Because it forms a floodplain there is no building on that stretch of land. There are about seven or 8 miles of hiking trails that follow the stream. it’s a beautiful area as you can tell from the videos. I bought my house near it on purpose because I get such value from being close to it and walking those trails with my dogs.
@john-griffin beautiful spot. I am enjoying your videos.
Dont wait to date, wait to get into a relationship or get remarried. Its perfectly ok to date and not rush into an exclusive relationship right away, Thats where men mostly go wrong and ditch their kids.
🎉😮 Danmark