A Narcissist's Attitude Of Elitism
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2023
- Being self impressed, narcissists genuinely dislike thinking of themselves as being equal to you. Dr. Les Carter explains how their need to stay superior is displayed. While their behaviors and attitudes are boorish, once you understand what drives them, you can learn to respond to them with an enlightened mind.
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I can't imagine what dealing with narcissism was like before the internet existed... all that abuse behind closed doors
My poor mother when the marriage counselor told her in the 60’s that the marriage couldn’t be saved 🤦♀️ starvation
it was horrible
I’m 51 years old and just figuring out that my mother was a narcissist and I married a narcissistic sociopath ( elitist type! ). I have learned so much and things are falling into place. I’m healing just by understanding. I cut all contact with my mother 15 years ago just from being fed up with the drama and really distanced myself from my family, literally physically… across the country. I’ve had such peace since then!
You hit the nail on the head, IT IS abuse behind closed doors..
It was horrible.
1. believe they deserve deferential treatment
2. believe you need them
3. believe they are irreplaceable
4. only want to engage with their type
5. derisive, condescending, disinterested
6. External measures of success are essential
7. enough is never enough
superficial
phony, manipulative, rude, haughty
compensation mode
protecting a fragile ego
dishonest
Easily offended
Lack wisdom
Sums it up! A cousin by marriage put her Grandfather’s last name in front of the Grandmother’s nee last name on the Family Reunion invitation and postings. It was the Grandmother’s family reunion😳. People were so confused about who’s reunion it was the Grandfather’s family showed up also. There were two families at the (Blank Reunion) She called it the Blank/Blank Family Reunion is how the invasions went out. It was very awkward. She even had T-shirts made that read her Grandfather’s last name and date on it. Can you say she is a narcissist if she hand picked her four sister-in-laws, she set up their first dates .
This reminds me of a humorous incident that happened a few years ago. A man was arguing with the woman who worked at the airline ticketing counter. He insisted that he didn't have to wait in the long line like everyone else. She held firm and told him he had to go to the back of the line. At that point he shouted out " Don't you know who I am ? " The woman without missing a beat went on the intercom and made an announcement, " We have a gentleman at gate 4 who does not know who he is. If anyone can come identify him, please come to the front of gate 4. Everyone broke out in laughter and the man with smoke coming out of his ears went to the end of the line.
I hope you gave that airport ticket lady a high five 🤣
Hillarious. Love it.
😂😅😆 that is hilarious!
I need to remember this one! That's priceless😂😂
yup, when someone tries to lift themself up, someone will be glad to pull them back down.
Their elitist attitude comes from arrogance and insincerity. They think they are center of the world. Thanks Dr. Carter❤
My ex DEMANDS respect, she has never earned it. She treats others in a deplorable manor & expects no backlash. When she gets backlash, it is the other person's fault. The lack of self-reflection & empathy is astounding. Truly has to be a profoundly complex mental illness.
Actually very simple… arrested development @ age 2
I'm dealing with or have dealt with several people like that I tried for loooong time but have started reducing contact has been opposition to any change but starting to feel brighter can't get through to them if they are never pleased or satisfied with anything are always hungry to devour others
@@caroleminke6116Thank you for that tip. I will read up on it.
They like to get the hierarchy established right up front. "I'm up, you're down."
Some narcissists even feel entitled to other people time, energy and even life. That's why it is so important to set boundaries both internal and external
yes true! all types of narcissist surround me (malignant, covert and overt), they all have these attitudes.. the difference is when the true colour comes out, covert are most dangerous
When you set up boundaries with a narcissist you've been with for awhile, THAT will be the end of the relationship--unless they have no one else.
@@penijoni1316 100% coverts are the worst. They play to your empathy and heart strings and masters of manipulation covert control and guilt tripping. My mother has two roles she plays rescuer/victim martyr. She set me up to need her! Never taught me anything in life, making me codependant. Always wanting to 'help'
Legends in their own minds
💯💯💯
My ex fought tooth & nail to become a medical professional. She thrust aside her children & marriage to achieve her own personal goals. She worked all the time & told me it was because she was praised at work. I used to think she was highly intelligent because of her professional achievements. Now I know she isn't. She sought status for praise & approval. She lacks all commonsense & wisdom. If a book didn't teach it to her, she doesn't know how to act & feel. The social awkwardness is palpable. The terrible treatment of others is embarrassing.
That’s so sad. Once you marry and have kids, family is first, always. Of course you can have a career and be a parent, but someone who loves their family will find a way to balance it all to the best of their ability. Your kids are lucky they have you
This is classic narcissism
JB Peterson talked about this in a podcast-these people become so successful because they throw everyone and everything else aside to focus on career-including wife and kids. Almost anyone can be successful if they spend ALL their time on career-but it is terribly unbalanced and unhealthy. They leave a train wreck in their wake, almost always.
Why would man feel threatened because his wife was doing so well, a woman's place is not in the kitchen or nursery. You are supposed to support your partners. But if she neglected everything else that's sad.
@cherylnathan5512 I was never threatened by her achievements. I worked hard to take care of everything at home to help her make those achievements. Once she got everything she wanted, she chose to ignore her family, marriage & kids to do nothing but work for "praise." Then she wondered why her relationship with her kids & her husband faltered.
Narcissists elitair = toxic mindset of their false self:
The untouchable,
"Attach me but don't touch me."
The ones with a God complex,
"I am entitled to special treatment, because I am superior."
"I have all the answers, because I know everything."
"I do not accept any critizism, because you must give me your total obedience."
"You have to give me full adoration and admiration for I am special."
"I am ignorant for the need of others for I am the one who deserves my needs fulfilled."
"I am indifferent how my actions affect others for I am above all."
"I am convetous envy and exessivly jalous for I deserve only the best."
That elitist attitude comes also to get attention and affirmation from their narcissistic supply.
They like to get a "rise" out of you.
It exists to benefit the supply?
No.
@@user-kcrpinenot to benefit the supply but to fool the supply into buying into their bs and being stuck in their Web.
Once I stepped away, I realised what a loser he was. When I was with him, he used to fill my head with stories of his superiority, it's all you ever hear about. And coupled with the isolation and sleep deprivation, you start to drink the koolaid. You actually fall into a belief of the narc's version of reality. It helps to keep you under control so they can keep sucking the life out of you.
@@user-kcrpine apologies, I did edit. It should be from and not to.
my friend's manager has flying monkeys they are like one person
I have a son who has displayed anger when he doesn’t get his attention first all the time. He is 54 yrs now. He will yell and call names in front of others. Now I have distanced myself from him and my health and other things are better in my life. I still love him , but tolerance is at a stop right now. You have great insight. Thank you
The narcissist I had to deal with would tell everyone he met he was an influencer. He really believed that. He had like 12 followers 😂
So funny!
This is exactly what happened to me. I came across an Oxbridge graduate and we flirted a bit via chat for some months and he asked me if I could introduce him someone with a business background that he can work on some part-time projects with. (He just moved to a new city where I live) So I introduced a friend of mine who happens to be an Oxbridge graduate like him. As a result he stopped talking to me and tried to hit on her but my friend is a real deal and paid no attention to him. The lesson I learned is that narcissists are also opportunists and they are dangerous in the way they use people for their gain. In this case, if he dates my friend, I can’t imagine how he will use her connections for his business. It was sickening that he would think that only an Oxbridge graduates could date one another. Their elitism is underlined by a crude and crass imitation of life and love in general because you wouldn’t chase after someone with status unless you feel that’s what you don’t have.
All of their ...so called attitudes .....are ridiculous and a major part of the smoke & mirrors they live in . MASK !!! How exhausting that existence must be ! I know it exhausted me !! 😝
I continue to find my inner peace with each video. Letting go and living free to be me.
So pleased on your behalf!
YES!! Find ur inner GUS!
My CN ex-husband gets his "elitism" from working for a well respected employer (before he retired) and owning a house in a swanky neighborhood with a view of the city. When he developed a horrendous gambling problem, it put a strain on our marriage and jepardized whether we could afford our house. His decision was to discard his wife amd children so he could still own his beloved, status-inducing house. Fortunately, there are laws in place to protect women and children from toxic Narcissistic men like this.
You are lucky!
Would that it also worked the other way when it’s the female that’s toxic. It would be better for all us who deal with the narcissistic personalities nowadays if current law and the legal system were more even handed.
Sounds more like an addiction than narcissism. I say this because narcissism is always a problem for pretty much everyone who knows the narcissist, for the entire duration of the narcissist's adult life. It doesn't sound like there was a strain on the marriage until after the gambling problem began.
@CJ-hz1uj Because he never compromises on anything, ever, we were forced to go to divorce court. I had witnesses and lots of documentation to prove that I contributed financially to our long-term marriage AND proof that he had a gambling problem. He also was in contempt of court several times and caught lying, so the judge was very happy to rule in my favor.
When they believe that and some do, just run, cut it off.
I know a person who will never call anyone and check on them because he thinks that they should call him. He thinks he is living a higher standard than them. Sad to see and he lives a very lonely life.
I know one that does that AND will ignore your calls, yet be offended if you haven't called in a while. Used to consider him my best friend. Ha! It's pathetic once you distance yourself from the absurd situation.
@cwhite8860 my narc father hates to lower himself to call me. He expects me to call him on a regular basis and if I don’t he slowly becomes more and more enraged. And when I’m sick or someone important to me has died, he will not reach out just like you said. He expects me to come to him.
I had a friend like this years ago, they also expect you to visit them but never ever visit you, I can't be in a friendship that is one sided anymore, it needs to be balanced.
This I have seen many a time in my life.
@@kellianderson2914yep. BOTH mom and dad NEVER EVER EVER called me. I moved 1300 miles away, and I ALWAYS had to be the one to call. Before they both succumbed to dementia, during a visit in 2018...I asked my parents why they NEVER call? My dad called me on my birthday in 2018 and 2019...I remember where I was both times. By 2020, he was really bad with Alzheimer's. Mom has vascular dementia, and my sister and I are now full-time caregivers. We both quit working, and I relocated. That trauma bond is hard to get over. Thankfully, my husband is understanding.
My sister acts like this. She is an accomplished pianist and the entire family revolved around her because it was feeding my narcissistic mother's need for approval and attention from her friends and the world. My sister has always talked down to me and everyone else. No one is good enough to be around her! So sad.
The person who could no longer fly first class reminds me of my mother. She would refer to economy class passengers as 'dog class'
She often referred to me, her daughter, as 'someone like you '
Run from these people and don’t look back!
But they are everywhere!
@@snowbear1877yes true! especially after i learned about narcissism, it scared me, they are so many, every where, families, friends, work places etc.. they support each other and very strong
The more you heal, the more they run from you. They tend to avoid people who are educated in narcissism and have healed enough to establish strong boundaries.
Living in a prestigious neighbourhood means everything to my ex, no matter if she has to sell all the furniture to pay the rent or remain in a state of perpetual debt.
Alot of narcissists LOVE that constant cycle of debt for things they can't afford and don't need. They HAVE to appear wealthier than they are.
As much as we seek to become better we need to be careful with the “distorted psychology” of the modern world.
There are a lot about humans that we don’t know. Some people enjoy to be evil and Sadist.
To me praying is what keep me going…
They say things like: I know you better than you know yourself
I've heard exactly this sentence over and over again from a Sociopath. Another one, correlating to this, "I am the only person who knows exactly what you need." It's absolutely gaslighting.
My ex-husband was above custody orders as he didn't want anyone to tell him when he can be with hus family---our one child, so he lied and manipulated to get custody and get me where i couldn't see my daughter.
Years later, experiencing adult child estrangement via patental alienation.
I can relate. They don't get held to following court orders.
I thought a narcissistic friend and I had gone shopping for the fun of it. It turned out that he saw it as HIM helping me get around town to shop. At one place he found a spot on a bench and sat there as I checked out a flea market. So, he had put himself in a superior position. I guess I was to be grateful and become dependent on him. It sure wasnt about 2 friends sharing an experience as equals..
My oh my is this accurate. We're all idiots and he is better than us all.
He has the best idea of how to live life and the rest of us are dumb because we don't want to do life the way he says.
Funniest thing he does, to make himself seem important is to always be talking to other people while on the phone with you. Without so much as a hold on, he'll just start talking to someone else in person.
Or he'll just hang up on you unexpectedly. Then he waits for you to call back or expects you to mention it next time you speak, and be upset about it. I learned that if you don't mention it he gets upset.
He thinks he's so important and busy that he must do this. He thinks that that is how important people behave. He learned it from a character he idolizes on a tv show.
It's like watching a kid make up grand lies about themselves not realising that everyone knows it's a lie.
Another thing. He excels, compared to novices, at 2 sports but knows everything about every sport and all fitness and all weightloss. He just does. Do not question how.
It’s a very long healing journey for many and some had it their whole life we had to deal with this for decades and the confusion was incredible until we got the knowledge and then again we had the pain of the knowledge we had to let go and love ourselves, be well your not alone 😊
Bless you from 1 survivor to another!
Same to you guys ✌✊
All will be well focus on your healing as a survivor I really hope you all live in peace!Your loved by many that understand what you went through!
I can’t wait for this one. I met my ex-husband in 2000. What a gorgeous hunk of man he was. He and his brothers could’ve been runway models. And we were compatible - always laughing! We married briefly, but he divorced me for not being religious enough. Remained friends. At one point, he lost his grocery job for not showing up; he’d be so wrapped up in preaching road trips, attending funerals of people he didn’t know. Would miss scheduled activities. Had a business card printed up saying he was Visionary, Community Organizer, and Philosopher; he had 1 year of Wake Tech. After age 50, he went off the rails. Started yelling, hitting, stealing. Criticizing everyone. In ‘22, he stole my new pickup truck 🛻, and that was the end. Had him barred from my security high-rise.
Wow! 😮
Yikes! That sounds awful! I'm glad you went no contact. ❤
He wasn't reading his Bible if his religion was Christianity and he called himself a Philosopher.
Colossians 2:8
“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”
Yeah the religious cherry picking is outrageous to watch. 🙄
Sounds like he found Meth too.
Knowing that my sister, inexperienced with her then young brood (three concurrent toddler girls in her quest for a son she got on the 4th try) would need support, I came over to her place once a week to help out. She and her husband treated me like they were kind to put up with me, until I'd had enough of being slighted and abused. Then they called me incessantly, until they stopped, and filed a bogus restraining order on me, and apparently began lying about me to others. I got my life destroyed through gang stalking, which I know was related to, and connected to these people.
I only noticed entitlement in retrospect. I just considered it another loveable trait. Until it was too late.
They are irreplaceable...all humans are unique whether selfish or not
Hello from California Dr. Carter, Gus and the Team Healthy Community. They don't have to have any skills to feel superior to others. They just think it should be automatic. They can never take a walk around themselves or say they are sorry. They are always a team of one far superior to anyone else and always looking for what they can get out of others. Thank you so much for a great video Dr. Carter.
My son is under the thumb of a narc who has not achieved anything of worth in his life, but has a huge ego and high opinion of himself. He did a classic demolition job on my son's self esteem, and he's not working, he has been living off my son for 10 years.
Yes, my ex-husband was a "golden child" and a "golden athlete" in school.
I have recently met a very angry , demanding nar and knew something was not right. I did all the right non aggressive moves🤔😳 and retained my happiness. Thanks to the clarity you provide I am in a good place , and for that I want to extend a heart ❤ felt Thank-you. I am a male with wisdom and not aggressive toward females. My lips are well bitten at this point, but I took the right road to escape this THING 😳🤔😁👍
We are all just getting on with life as best we can. It's so much nicer feeling like part of the group. I think people with narcissistic traits miss out on the happiness that comes from those meaningful connections with others. Love that little dog in the background ❤
I have a niece who expects me to be her "Doting Auntie." She's very self satisfied to the point of pompous. I almost can't stand her. The idea that you can't take them seriously helps, if I can remember to do that each time I want to flee her presence!
the first time I saw my son's 'father' behave entitled I was very amused. it was really funny because he was posturing in front of me and it didnt go like he wanted to at all!! I never really took him seriously in those days however. I didnt understand how bad his psychosis is.
The one I knew would be like people who played along with their elitism were also deemed elites and in their favor, and those who did not were contemptible. I played along! 🤦♂️Then I learned better and quit playing along.
I never knew about narcissism until I married one, the cruel mental abuse is so devastating to your mental health, when you finally realize what is going on and start taking up for yourself they will get physically abusive, and financially abusive.
Get this one..my son and his wife have a 3 y/o with CP. My husband and I have been dedicated and have worked hard to help them while often being treated very poorly by my son’s wife. Her family lives 2.5 hours away and have been to visit about 4 times. My brother who has worked with CP kids all of his adult life, offered to travel from out of state to come give them respite care for a week. My son’s wife’s response..“ you are welcome to do that”.
My ex narc definitely had this, although I don't know why. He wasn't adept at most things.
This applies to many of the wannabe world dictators and their minions, or rather, it applies to all of them.
🎯 !!!
Have you been around the narcissist when anything sets them off or triggers them?
Yes. It happens when I speak the truth.
@@snowbear1877, amen!!! 😈😈😈 They despise the truth. 😆😆😆
@@snowbear1877me too
“It takes all kinds”- life, being human. Everyone is allowed.
All truth 👏👏👏. Seeks positions of power (constant supply).
Yah-key!! These are VERY EMPOWERING!! Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good 👍🏼🙏🏻\😊/
During our very last convo, I told the narcissist, "I wish you the best with everything"
He replied, "Why wouldn't anyone want the best for me"
🙄
Jerk.
Thanks so much for this one Dr. C! This touched on so many of the narcs I have put up with most of my life. My neighbors are pretentious elitists from the academic world & I have concluded that limited contact is best. My former supervisor was a hideous elitist. She had a higher degree & thought she knew everything, but knew very little. It was a show, she begged, borrowed, and stole from everyone else. I suspected she knew that I was on to her, so she gave me a very difficult time. There are countless others, too many to mention. I have already figured out ways to handle them. But your advice is so supportive. Thank you.
This has been my biggest hurdle to work through, by the grace of God.
Being brought up by narcissists have this effect on a person, and it would be a lie to say I am innocent. I personally think that the whole elitism haughtiness and pride is and can be the most damaging. Especially if it's mixed with religious/spiritual abuse, in my case , it was.
Superiority and thinking your bettr than everyone else along with the belif you are to be served rather than to serve...🤕
Religion mixed with narc is unbearable and very damaging. BTW I am a Christian who stands for love and truth.💟
This is so true. My brother went to a big university and I chose to go to a smaller university. He studied history and I studied biology. He went on and on about how my university is garbage, the classes are so easy and I'd never get a job. He graduated from his university and wanted to take business classes at my university because it would be *so* much easier. He barely passed. It was never mentioned again. He ended up with a degree and getting a labour job. He's gainfully employed and that's really all that matters. I was teaching biology to various grades at an outdoor education centre. We were hiring and he said "I could do that job". What? He hadn't taken a science course since ninth grade. How on earth would he teach 11th gr. botany in the field to 25 students? You really need to know your stuff. He felt that his school/degree was so valuable that he could teach anything. I don't get it. I don't feel that I could work in historical research, museum studies or interpretation. Why would he feel that he could teach science with no background or experience? To this day, brother still feels that his university and education is far superior to mine even though he has a manual labour job and I work in my field. 🤷🏻♀ BTW, I feel that his factory job is related to him being the "golden child". No one else accepted his "specialness" and it made it really difficult for him.
We are all in this together! No more one-up one-down thing.
When I was working in a restaurant, I had this narcissist colleague. At the end of our turn, we had to clean the floor, and she hated that task so much because, in her perspective, only inferior people were supposed to do these sorts of jobs. Every night, she'll find a way to make other people do that for her. She even lied to my boss, saying that I had agreed to clean the floor for her. A colleague of ours complained that the floor was not well clean and, because a narcissist would always make everything about them, she got mad and said that this colleague was insulting her, when technically I was the one who "was not doing a good cleaning job". It's unbelievable how someone can be so delusional.
Aww, Gus is no "regular" dog! ;-)
Gus for President ❤
Carol -- I'm for that! :D
Two brothers, one mother and one father: Four Narcissists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes my mom would wordlessly hand me her glass while looking away, like I was her servant. Then she would get pissed when I didn't do anything. One of the games I enjoyed playing. Or it's not a game I guess.
MY exwife bragged how her mom taught her to wait for her boyfriend to get up and then ask "SWEEEETIE, would you get me a refill"
That's really cute!!!! Like first class and coach aren't on the "same" plane and one section is going to get there before the other 😅. My narc swears that her vehicle is so special that everybody on the planet wants break in and steal it from her. Every time you see the child she's wiping it off. One day the thing got some pollen on it and she cried the whole afternoon. Ruined the whole day for everybody involved....
This kind of knowledge is essential for many of us in order to set free from that guilt that these false elitists put on our shoulders every time when we are not (good, kind, smart, spiritual, nice, etc.) enough for them...
My sister and my father, defined. Except without any exceptional skill set.
Subordinates in the work environment can be this way too. It doesn’t go too far with the boss though.
Makes sense that it could be anyone who thinks something makes them better. May be they have a super clean house even, or a constant new car, in charge at church, etc.
they live in delusion, many covert narc in my life, they act like they the most cleanest person in the world-even though their house is super smelly/dirty/messy/ugly
That's so true
Ex wife #2 was a piano instructor who, despite not having a college degree, had this grandiose scheme to reach the top of a music teacher organization in the state we lived in. She did have quite a bit of respect locally, and even at the state level. However she used some questionable methods to achieve a level of leadership despite not having a degree.
In her mind, she was entitled to leadership positions in the state organization.
By the time she tried to finish her bachelors degree she had two young kids and could not devote enough time to practicing her lesson material. Her skill set as a performer was not matching her elitist attitude and desire for power.
That's why the bible says 'We are all equal in the eyes of God'. 🙂
Funny how so many 'claim' to be religious. Really bugs me that my father "prays' for me. Doesn't care how I am, never asks but will ask God to care!
Yeah, like the old sunday skool song "Red and Yellow, Black or White, we are equal in his site"
This makes some things make more sense. Mine abused our youngest. She’s now an adult, and it continues. She has mental health issues, and while she manages them really well, they impinged on her academics and a few other areas when she was growing up. He could brag on her older siblings, but not her, and I suspect that's what made her a target.
She really blossomed when she left home and moved into a supportive environment. He still abuses when he can, but it's mostly by phone. She lives with my older daughter. While her sister abused me, and ganged up on me with my ex, the two of them are very supportive of each other. He can't get away with much in front of her sister.
Dr. C, thank you very much for providing these educational and thought provoking videos. You described my ex. I spent way too long in that destructive marriage, but I managed to extract myself after 20+ years in. I didn’t even have the terminology back then when I married in 1976. My mother was also a narcissist, but not an elitist narcissist. There is a huge difference.
I expect us viewers could write volumes about our stories.
I really appreciate your wisdom and the comments and wisdom from your viewers too. Thank you.
Thank you
They think they are “special”. Of course, they have many flaws and limitations, not the least of which is their oversized view of themselves, their craving for status, and their contempt for most of us. The ones I are know were golden children, and as adults their entitlement is often unrealized, which causes anger.
The higher the perch- the harder the fall. Watch it happen. Meanwhile take care and stay safe everyone.
Thanks, Dr. Carter
As a person of color, this is what we call "racism", so it's been challenging to point out to other non-white people that certain behavioral practices is behavior that is practiced on everyone...it's not just race specific.
I agree, but they may use race as a point of difference to bolster their sense of superiority. They have to find other points of difference for those of the same race as themselves I think, but because they are lazy they make use of the most obvious point of difference.
I agree, it’s very difficult. Well said ❤
You can take pride in your hereditary and not think you're "superior" or "privileged." We're all supposed to be thinking of ourselves as individuals - NOT being part of 'a tribe.' I DON'T follow this communal tribalism stuff... I'm not 13 yo anymore! Just letting you know that many white are NOT automatically privileged! Numerous random health problems, for example, NEVER discriminate!
Edit: I know I typed the word 'DON'T,' but it was left out after I posted this.
In my experience, these people retain expectations about the nature of relationships from early childhood, not comprehending that as an adult now, all relationships are ultimately voluntary. They think relstionships with them are still mandatory: they are owed relationships in which they are catered to, provided for and showered with endless adoration.
Just watch how they completely freak out when you ignore them.
My black husband is a narc
I love your videos, I am narcissistic but I have had a whole life dealing with fellow narcissists. I would say I have become so much healthier thanks to your videos and have a lot more awareness and changed many of my behaviours thank you. and also I find I am the healthiest of the people I know in Hong Kong so thank you for helping me to avoid people that make me either unhappy or worse thanks!
Thank you...and keep learning!
I always knew I was the best.
"For some reason I am a widely recognized intellectual bourgeois"...
"For sex I may step lower levels" ⤵️
... "Although my family was nothing special but rather corruption was the key to enter the golden world that makes me so unique"...
I was trying to figure out the difference between my yearning for recognition as worth extra respect and my dad's elite desire for appearance of mastery.
I think everyone yearns for recognition, and being seen as above and beyond the average. Recognition desire is universal trait. Only how you seek and respond is rhe key.
I think there is a major key between being seen as special in and of themselves, or being seen as having special and elite capabilities
So healthy is such as being talented writer, manager, mathematician, etc. Those focused skills are well developed and they know how to apply this knowledge, so are worthy of respect about this.
But also, if healthy you know you have some areas you aren't so advanced in. Healthy let's you work with others to let each person shine and share their own focused talents to achieve goals
Unhealthy is less about what you know and can do, but about self identity as a person. Unhealthy is being unwilling to acknowledge they, too, have areas of expert skill and areas that are lacking. Not listening to others even if the job requires it, making demands, trying to press their ways onto everything and everyone, and finding those sycophants who will follow their leads and show them favor as a reward to keep it coming and keep being surrounded by supporters.
we all have a true self, and real identity to share and shine with the world .. . and its our birthright to do it ..... and we dont have to make ourselves small for other people, its safe and healthy to share and shine my true self , and take my space, and share my gifts and talents with the world , taking my space in the world to share my true self, having healthy boundaries, to keep myself safe, from controllers, and then, also choosing safe enough people for my circle, where connection feels good, and i can share my true self, in and get my needs 4 connection met, were. worth it :) God speed . were worth it :)!
My narcissistic sister will only take jobs or be involved in activities where she can be in charge. She's got to have the "director" or "CEO" title or whatever or she's not interested. She not even good at leadership. It's just a total power trip for her. Luckily for her, she has a rich husband who supports her while she dallies in the spotlight.
An obviousness of the lack of comprehension when they taught that the axis was the center of the earth.....😅
I like your ending comment about how diversity is built into the human race. People have all different kinds of skills and interests. I think that is one of the most interesting and cool things to see. I love to see someone doing what they like doing and excelling at it no matter what it is: waiter, banker, cowboy, manager... just that their motivation is the love of the activity, their innate ability to do it, and not that they just want to be in the spotlight.
You make sense.
@@SurvivingNarcissism Thanks!
Warm hugs to Gus, the regular dog, who is loved across the world, I'm sure.
Short, short notes this time:
7:19 They can be friendly but it's only if they think it's going to get them somewhere. We have a word for that: phony. Their ‘friendliness’ is manipulative or exploitive. (MY COMMENT: With them, 'friendly' = phony.)
10:22 You don't need to take this elitist individual too seriously, they already do quite a good job of taking themselves seriously enough as it is. These individuals build their sense of well-being on your shoulders. They basically wipe their feet all over you.
GUS get back on Ur blanket 😂
I know one she has a houseful of things half brand new never used over the years . She wants to phone me all the time even tho I'm next door😮 . Thinks she owns me and what I do ...I think not .😂
Thanks Dr .C for keeping us informed in ALL their behaviours 😊
Dr. Carter is wise and helpful!!!
My step- daughter bought a Cadillac suv, and complains about how much debt she's in, incl medical bills. Gets hair and nails done, bought an expensive Harley, etc.
Exactly!😢
7:00 "Some of them can have a very good IQ and yet at the same time they can be superficial in the way that they embrace life. That's because they fail to see the big picture."
I have come across many people like that in workplace settings. While they graduated prestigious universities, they are utterly incompetent and messed things up 😮😦😧
IQ vs. EQ, they are not the the same!
they honestly believe they are. certain members some of the people in my own family. they are so detached from reality. really detached from reality.
Gussy looks really sweet in this vid. He is the perfect addition to the lovely lounge. Such a gorgeous face he has 😊
Seek ur Inner GUS!
Very grateful Dr. Carter. Thank you.
You are very welcome
the narcissists in my life,ad nauseum,nausea have that elitist attitude and mentality,their elitist attitude comes from arrogance and insincerity and self righteousness and anything negative. they quite literally think they are the center of the world. they really think and act like the world revolves around them. only revolves around them. they quite literally think that it does. that it only revolves around them and constantly constantly constantly interfering in my life. always always interfering in my life. they always have. they always did. always did interfere.
the funniest that i watching this as a narcis
Dr C, I believe in Karma and I also believe that narcs live their Karma 24/7. But I have to also say that these emotional vampires, like my ex of 8 years, who dragged me through hell, in my opinion should experience narc collapse. That may very well protect other innocent empathy from having to endure the pain and trauma.
Gus is off his blanket :)
I get called elitist, snob, etc because I have a Bachelor's degree and a lot of people I know and/or are around don't. I've also been playing guitar for over 36 years. I know hundreds of songs, from simple 3 chord songs to Van Halen to Rush, Metallica, etc. I also know many different styles of music. It's not me being elitist, snob, etc. It's just who I am and what I've developed for me. Not to put myself above anyone else. But if I want to play Tom Sawyer by Rush, Boogie Nights by Heatwave, some Eagles, then some Classical music like Bach, it's just a reflection of who I am. I shouldn't have to apologize for that.
And if someone wants info from me or asks me a question, I should be able to answer it to the best of my abilities. Again, that doesn't make me a snob or elitist. I think both of my points have to do with a dumbing down of society.
You have a bachelor degree - wow that’s quite something!
there are some people in my own family honestly believe that they are entitled so entitled and really think that they are privleged, they honestly believe they are.
Excellent, Dr. C Thank you! Eileen
Glad it was helpful!
Special Intention: btw : 👀 looking forward to this!!!
On the subject of submission, I just watched a video on this theme, and a question came to mind. I have listened, read and took all of the good advice on how to protect myself being in the obligation to be in a narc's entourage on a daily basis. Therefore, no engaging, no defending, grey rocking, and, accepting the fact it is what it is, and to not expect any change or growth from his part. So, being à covert narc, therefore, passive agressive, the silent treatment is his favorite response. So, I "accept" this on a daily monthly and yes yearly basis. I let him act without any response either from my part. Now, can it be possible that he interprets this as a submission to his behavior on my part, resulting then, in thinking he has won?
About replacing them, I've been told "you'll never find a cat as beautiful as mine". Weird, I know. Just a last resource attempt of keeping me around, because I took care of said cat a few times when he was on holidays. I had to repress a chuckle when I heard that. Which solidified my sense of healing :)
that honestly believe they are.
thankyou dr les for all your awesome vids - from australia - so helpful
Narcissistic elitism is politics, imperialism, colonialism, religion and capitalism.