I’m 19 and currently in my Gap year. It’s so hard taking a Gap year because everyone you learnt with has now gone to Varsity and when they’re now in Varsity you now become an outcast sort of because you can’t relate to the Varsity stuff. I look like I have no direction. But honestly the amount of knowledge I know have is surprising. I now know what I want to do and I know I’ll love it. This video really helped a lot!!! Thanks Xo
Please use this time to search for Learnerships. They usually look for matriculates especially ur ( local municipality) ... I wish I had taken a gap year used that time to find myself...
You are too hard on yourself like you are only 19. A gap year gives you a great perspective on what career path you want to take. Some people rush into university due to family pressure, and end up regretting it.
I wish i took a gap year and not rush to go to varsity because of Friends now I studied a course that i dont know anything about lol yes I managed to pass it but i dont know what is all about i only know i can work at statsSA Because i studied population and development studies but I’m not informed about other companies i wish i took a gap year and learn about different careers/courses that has more opportunities because after all this is South Africa a career of more opportunities is needed
I am turning 23 and I'm doing my second year. I am not even sure about what im studying, i only took this course because I was tired of being home and family constantly asking me about " my plans". Take as much time as you can, don't let the pressure get to you yeah, trust me it's not worth it.
I even deleted insta old account because I felt like I’m pressured to be like my peers who are chopping life on insta. Best decision ever I’m still in the process of knowing that everyone has to do their things on their own pace and not to rush and to put pressure on myself coz I know that I’m meant for greatness and I will reach my goals on my own terms ♥️
Didn't pass my matric well, tried to upgrade with no luck, came back home and took a 6months gap, decided to go to school and realise months later that I choose a wrong course, passed everything and come back home with regrets and no job opportunities.... Last year I applied to a University and got accepted, 😊 glad to start my life all over again, actually I'm happy for the second chance.
I can relate with point number 1🥺, I remember after completing my matric in 2017 I did a course I didn’t like because of pressure and 6 months down the line I dropped out because I was failing the modules and ended up being depressed because I couldn’t relate with the course. My mom was so furious that I dropped out so I had to stay at home and figure out what I really want to do.In 2018 I eventually went back to varsity and did the course that I like and since then I’ve never failed any module and I’m graduating this year…I’m happy 😊 thank you so much sis Xoli❤️ for this,I hope other people can take your advice and pursue what they really like and not do courses that they don’t like because of pressure.
I took a gap year in 2020 and not bc I wanted to but bc varsities were rejecting me And I was so desperate to get in that I was willing to take anything That made me realise that I didn’t even know what I wanted but the pressure was to be like everyone else who was in varsity 2021 I got myself a learnership in film and tv bc it’s always been my dream and now I have an internship in a great production company and I already have my foot in the industry When I look back now That pressure after high school is killing us I even ended up in a psychiatric hospital bc I got depressed
Can we give Xoli her flowers because WOW!!!! She gave us a lifetime of knowledge. she is the older sister we all deserve. ❤👑 I am a culprit of wanting everything figured out, and it hurts sometimes when everything is not going well & you seriously can't see the end of the tunnel. But I've learned to take things one at a time and trust in God's timing. Thank you, Aunty Darlin ❤❤
Woow Xoli love love the advice.. I am turning 40 this year I don't know how many times I have started over, after matric I did my Bsc after completing it I didn't know what job I would get and I was 20 then went and did another course in business and events management still that wasn't it for me, worked along the way @29 yrs old I was doing my 1st year yet again in another course and thank God it was it.. My point is, it can take a while to figure it out and your friends can get it the 1st time around,but it will also work out for you.
Hey sis thank you for sharing your story…I am currently doing a BSc degree and am worried about the job opportunities…was it only because you didn’t know the kind of job you wanted or were they just scarce?😭
@@leesomz8876 then I didn't know much about career-opportunities for a BSc graduete for me the plan was to go into medicine after but then I realized medicine wasn't for me.. Currently there are lots of opportunities/choices depending on your course streem
Absolutely love this video!! 💕❤️🥂 I stayed in a 3 year toxic relationship thinking this is it for me, got to know myself and I asked myself “ Why am I still in this toxic relationship “ and I couldn’t answer. That’s when I knew I had to leave. Telling someone who is deeply in love to leave is difficult. Rather let them discover by themselves and trust me, once you make that choice to leave? No one will change your mind.
I’m turning 29 this year and in my early 20s i took advantage of just living life and exploring what I enjoyed doing and that how I feel inlove with makeup and didn’t want to pursue a degree in marketing as much as I completed and got my diploma I didn’t have that drive to want to pursue it.. your 20s just like Xoli explained is the opportunity for us women to see & explore what we like and don’t like, it’s unfortunate that most of us fall victim of being bullied or forced to go work/ study in a field we know we won’t thrive in. But know something this is your life, do what makes YOU happy and gradually everything starts opening up to you ♥️ Thank you for this video Xoli, it was an eye opener and it helped me put into perspective a lot of things I’ve been afraid of doing because I used to be a people’s pleaser.
My sister please those candles will burn out, melt to the ground plss and ghat wax will drip down the drain if we don't meet our goals!! Darlins let's stand up and fetch ourselves in our 20s. Thanks Xoli, I love you dearly 💗 ❤
Xoli, I stay in a family house and I have a son. I hate that my son is three years already and we still stay here. The communication in this household is terrible. Hope all changes soon...
I absolutely love the sit down videos and the topics are very relatable... turning 23 this year and looking back when i was 17 i thought I'd be very far in LIFE whereas like you said Aunty we need to start somewhere and that we need to be realistic and in be on our own pace. Thank you for this❤
It's funny how you and I are the same age but I receive your advice as though it comes from a big sister/mother. Your perspective on navigating life as a young independent woman is very profound.
It dawned on me to also share my story...when I got admitted to Uni I was admitted for a course I wanted(media) but it wasn't sponsored so had to change to something I have no knowledge about and i suck at...even though life threw me that way...I had passions and dreams and I realized i had to incorporate that somehow. Doing small media courses etc ..I came to that point because I spoke up on how unhappy and overwhelmed I was to the school management...Just speak up to your elders ...to those in charge let them guide you ..advice you ..help you..because my Faculty Admin was there...my Deputy Dean came.through for me as well because I spoke up ..my mother was there as well ...all I had to do was ask ...speak up ...Don't be overwhelmed to a point of suffocation for something you don't like and have no plans for.
I'll be 21 years old in Monday so far being in my 20s has taught me to stand up for myself being independent because no one is gonna do stuff for me. In varsity and its taugh i won't lie trying to navigate my final year for a course that i didn't anticipate. Although i have a chance to start my dream degree next year also working part time and getting my own place will mean a lot for me. Friends change and family change its okay to feel otherwise I've learned to move on. Pleasing everyone is my problem. Losing sense of self in that process. Thank you aunty for this topic yazin you making sense! Am taking notes for real.
I love how you said you gonna make this video short even though it wasn't in the beginning. 😂😂 Otherwise really enjoyed this chat. "Manifestation comes with hard work" "Work on your own pace" argh so much to note down,love you.🥺❤❤AND Thank you Darlin.
I relate to point 1 a lot. I finished matric in 2017 and 2018 I went to study IT I didn’t really like it but I was afraid to let my parents down so I pushed the whole year. When I was had to go back to do my second year I told my parents I didn’t want to because I didn’t really like it. My parents were supportive ( well at least to my face) and they said okay. 2019 I stayed at home trying to figure out what I want to do but I felt like a I failed because most of my classmates were in varsity doing courses they like and they were killing it so I felt like something is wrong with me like how do I not know what I want to do? So around June I went to an engineering college that also didn’t last long I got so frustrated I sunk into depression. 2020 Jan I applied at UNISA and I got accepted I did a higher certificate in something that I really like and everything felt right and now I am in my second year of my degree and I love what I am studying.
Just sat down and watched this.. I love how real it actually is. I literally just finished varsity last year and in the same year I fell pregos towards the end of the year. Homegirl is here, 7 months pregnant, jobless and literally clueless but still hopeful. I think I am too in a rush to figure shit out mostly because now I also have a child on the way but also I think my baby deserves the best version of me and that means working towards that.
This reminds me of when I had to take a gap year 2019(the year I had to finish my diploma). I literally thought things were really falling apart for me and all my friends will be finishing while I’m left behind. I remember first day of my final year 2020 I broke down cos all my friends were gone and I was left all alone. Really didn’t think I was gonna be able to finish. I kinda thank Covid happened cos my campus days that year was just me going to my classes then Back home when I’m done. Had no social life whatsoever and that would break me soo much. But now I’m glad I completed my diploma
Thank you so much aunty Darlin🥰🥰 looking fabulous as always. I'm 24 completed my degree in Town Planning 2020, I like it but I don't love it. My heart has always been on the creative side of things. I spent 2021 job hunting, I had to move back home, I was under so much pressure (mostly self-inflicted) and I was in the worst mental shape I'd been in, in years but it gave me time to realise that I can't live for my people's satisfaction and my parents expectations. I have to chase my dreams, so I'm dedicating 2022 to bossing up and taking full ownership of my life. Thank you for the advice. 🥰
i definitely relate.i just finished my accounting degree, now working for a good firm but i totally feel like I am drowning and its not me.I am so creative and i really want to chase me but there is a whole family and friendship pressure that is suffocating me so much.
I'm so glad I watched this video because I have been feeling down since friday because of school. I completed my N6(Marketing management)last year and I have to look for internships (which is very hard because I've been been applying since last year with no luck) and most of my classmates went to universities and I kind of felt the pressure and got a bit demotivated because I felt like I'm behind. Your video made me realize that each and every person must just move in their own pace and that I should not compare myself to my peers. OWN RACE OWN PACE. Thank you so much XO
I love your advices🥺♥️I ended up not applying at university last year because I just didn't know what I wanted to do... I was so confused because all I knew was engineering as I was at technical school,I told my mom I just don't want to do engineering anymore because I just don't understand maths & physics and it's the major things in engineering.My family now thinks I don't want school, talking about how my cousins are at university and I'm just here at home,it really doesn't bother me anymore because I know what I was going through.In the past months I took time to have self introspection and now I know what I want and it's not engineering. I'm just waiting to apply for the coming year
I had to play this video 2 times because YOUUUUU mammm inspire me, im actaully turning 30 this month but im proud to say you inspire me..... IM A BADASS nd i LOVE YOU 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Enjoying these sit-down sessions some much and it is at such a great time of the year, the beginning where we are all just trying to find our balance again. Thank You :)
Thank you, Xoli❤thank you for reminding me of all the possibilities and opportunities I can attain and achieve. It's been hard navigating my 20s and trying to find my identity. But I'm making it happen, with each small step i take, each breath, I'm happy that I'm moving forward.
The day there’s no space to write in that book , you’ll have to search for the same book , I think we’re all attached to that book 😂😂😂😂love you by the way 🥺
I think a gap year is so underrated and looked down upon because it gives people the idea that you have no direction. But in actual fact a gap year allows you to take time to yourself and learn so much about yourself without all these distractions around you. Yes you’ll feel like an outcast but it is so worth it! Trust me. Your parents might not agree with it and call you lazy or whatever but do it for you! I think it’s so much better than torturing your mental health with something you don’t want to see study. I definitely encourage everyone that comes from matric to take a gap year.
I took a gap year in 2020, and despite what was going on in the world it was probably the best year for me. I learnt so much about myself that I honestly wouldn’t have known if it wasn’t for that year. I was going to study law coming out of high school because my parents wanted me to but I changed my mind and told them I actually want to study Fashion Media. Having strict parents, it actually made them mad and they said a few hurtful things. But now, I’m studying what I love and having the best time of my life! Your parents won’t be mad forever hunny. My parents fully support my dreams now. Do what YOU want. Life is too short to be torturing your mental health just cause your parents chose a career for you.
I want you to know this, I love you so much. These 20s videos are giving me so much life, you literally change one's perspective on certain things. You are a powerhouse, ungabungabazi ubuGhost bakho 💕✨
Love this video! 😍 God created the whole universe using his words, Words are powerful speak those big “unrealistic” things into your life. God wants to give us pieces of heaven here on earth, gold and silver are yours! Yes, have short term goals, but don’t neglect those “unrealistic” goals thinking they’re Farfetched, speak them into your life by faith.
Thank you Miss XO for confirming that our twenties are basically trial and error.😆 Living my life based of confusion was definitely driving me back into depression. I was genuinely getting scared there for a minute.😅 Please know we appreciate you and the knowledge you’re passing down to us. 🥺💖👉🏾👈🏾
I'm in my mid 20's mna self and it gets a a bit rough outchea job wise ,financially, etc...and some pointers here are very important , the life lessons nd motivation behind most of your sit down videos are what we need. Thank you for this video Aunty💯👌🏾❤
Miss xo thank you❤❤am 21 was always told that I don't listen other people not I don't but I always ask myself what want. It even got worse when I choose a certain course n I was told that it difficult it's big for me n I was demotivated but I told myself am big girl I know what I want ,I know the why am choosing it. I keep on motivating myself n following positive people who did the course n look at me now💃 last year I was done .
I wish I had this type of information a few years ago, I could have saved myself a lot of time and money. But there is no point in looking back. This is the best advice I have ever come across especially career wise.🤗 Thank you soo much Aunty Darlin ❤️
Omw your last point? You’re literally speaking to me😮💨❤️. It hit a nerve and I’m happy that you touched on this topic of constantly persevering in a relationship that is not beneficial at all. Thank you so much ❤️.
I really needed to hear this as I put so much pressure on myself , yes I look around but I was never realistic about my goals. I always thought I am pressed for time. Thank You for this Aunty Darlin , I started being realistic with myself and what I want to achieve. xoxoxo
The biggest mistake I believe i did in my 20s was not taking a gap year after high school and allowing my family to persuade me into doing engineering when I knew very well that I sucked in physics and that I could do better in something that was more related to geography but I just did not have the right information as to which career path I should take. Man I suffered depression for 2 years studying something I hated from day one until I ultimately dropped out. Then I was able to apply for a career path in geography which I am so passionate about, I even get excited when I’m about to receive my study material or when I’m just supposed to study because it’s something that I really just love and happy doing. So I advocate people to take a gap year after high school I swear you’re not dumb for doing that, you’re actually very much wise because people end up dropping out their courses and chances are you will not even have to do that because you had enough time to assess yourself and understand which path will work best for you.
I'm 19 🥳, and I attended fashion school last year , unfortunately I had a very bad experience with the school that I attended , I still very much love fashion though and I am taking a gap year this year and I'm planning my year on practicing my sewing , revising a lot of things that I didn't get to fully learn properly last year , I also feel blessed that my parents allowed me to take a gap year because I'm already enjoying it since I'm learning a lot of things at my own pace😌 , the only thing I'm struggling with is having a proper daily routine since I find it hard waking up early cos I want to do so much in one day😂 , I really enjoyed the video Xoli , can't wait for more!❤
I’m 19 now turning 20 and like since this year started my life has rocked because of a toxic relationship and friends and just never choosing myself and being honest with myself and holding on to the toxicity because I’ve been with that person for the longest time and just thinking what am I going to do if I lose him. Like Xoli said if a man really loves you he’ll do right by you!!!
HI LADIES, NEVER MARRY IN COMMUNITY OF PROPERTY PLEASE. OR HAVE YOUR THINGS FIRST LIKE CAREER, HOUSE ECT. I REGRET GETTING MARRIED BEFORE I CAN GET EVERYTHING I WANT.
I'm 23 and have a 30yr old boyfriend, the guy wants to settle down he wants to get married and staff, I did want to get married really like marriage, but I feel like I don't want to get married at this age and time of my life.
I always take notes when you do sit down videos and I enjoy them so much. I agree particularly with the people pleaser point because I am unlearning this and it is so uncomfortable and so weird for me. I sometimes feel like I'm doing something wrong when I don't do things to please people anymore. Thanks for imparting knowledge and nudging me in the unlearning direction a bit more. Side note: may you please do a video in your Nigerian accent one of these days.
Thanks miss xo I relate so much..I'm 19 and I took a gab year last year because I was sooo confused, still confused about what direction to take but at this point I'm willing to do any course because my parents want me to go to school ASAP..Also I thought high school was holding me back ,yet again I'm still in the same position as 2 years ago,my peers are doing the most mina dololo but I'm not letting the pressure to get to me Thank you very much xoxo🥺❤
Thank You Aunty Darlin. One thing I always tell my friends is that its either a guy loves me more than I love myself or nothing, we really can't be settling for less Darlings.
iyho auntie Darling, for me its my mom who outs pressure on me. she always says when she was 22she was already working . not that i dont want to work but its hard to get a job these days and they dont want hire people without experience.
yohhh not Xoli touching on the biggest mistake I made when i first started Uni guys HE'S most probably not the man of your dreams please. Before looking at falling in love guys make sure to fall in love with yourself first . Self love will prevent you from accepting BS
I totally agree with taking a gap year. I was able to think critically and I went with a different route than what I wanted in Matric and that was the best decision I made.
Xoli really makes an effort in making sure her subscribers are well taken care of . She literally takes care of us in terms of advice shem Therapy with Auntie Darlin is the best
Thank you so much Xoli for this I needed this video.I'm at U.P studying Political Science and it was never what I wanted to do in the first place as I wanted to do Media involving T.V and Radio but a friend of my moms advised her International Relations is the best for a career but all I want to do its host on radio and tv or events even.Few weeks ago I applied for TUKS F.M so that I start out small in something that I love to do and a few days later I got a call to come for an interview and my spirit was lifted and I remember one of them asking in the interview if I start will I be willing to do 2am to 4am shows will training I said I wouldnt mind because this is what I want for the longest time and my passion and I believe it will open so many doors in entertainment for me all Im waiting for is feedback now from them and hopefully I get in.Thanks Xoli♥
Don't EVER let a man take a man take anything from you. You are the fucken table. Yeboooooooo.....thank you for saying people must dream realistically! Yoh our generation doesn't understand patience.
I’m 19 and currently in my Gap year. It’s so hard taking a Gap year because everyone you learnt with has now gone to Varsity and when they’re now in Varsity you now become an outcast sort of because you can’t relate to the Varsity stuff. I look like I have no direction. But honestly the amount of knowledge I know have is surprising. I now know what I want to do and I know I’ll love it. This video really helped a lot!!! Thanks Xo
Please use this time to search for Learnerships. They usually look for matriculates especially ur ( local municipality) ... I wish I had taken a gap year used that time to find myself...
You are too hard on yourself like you are only 19. A gap year gives you a great perspective on what career path you want to take. Some people rush into university due to family pressure, and end up regretting it.
I wish i took a gap year and not rush to go to varsity because of Friends now I studied a course that i dont know anything about lol yes I managed to pass it but i dont know what is all about i only know i can work at statsSA Because i studied population and development studies but I’m not informed about other companies i wish i took a gap year and learn about different careers/courses that has more opportunities because after all this is South Africa a career of more opportunities is needed
I am turning 23 and I'm doing my second year. I am not even sure about what im studying, i only took this course because I was tired of being home and family constantly asking me about " my plans". Take as much time as you can, don't let the pressure get to you yeah, trust me it's not worth it.
@@lisiwemtshali6823 thank youuu
I even deleted insta old account because I felt like I’m pressured to be like my peers who are chopping life on insta. Best decision ever I’m still in the process of knowing that everyone has to do their things on their own pace and not to rush and to put pressure on myself coz I know that I’m meant for greatness and I will reach my goals on my own terms ♥️
Didn't pass my matric well, tried to upgrade with no luck, came back home and took a 6months gap, decided to go to school and realise months later that I choose a wrong course, passed everything and come back home with regrets and no job opportunities.... Last year I applied to a University and got accepted, 😊 glad to start my life all over again, actually I'm happy for the second chance.
I can relate with point number 1🥺, I remember after completing my matric in 2017 I did a course I didn’t like because of pressure and 6 months down the line I dropped out because I was failing the modules and ended up being depressed because I couldn’t relate with the course. My mom was so furious that I dropped out so I had to stay at home and figure out what I really want to do.In 2018 I eventually went back to varsity and did the course that I like and since then I’ve never failed any module and I’m graduating this year…I’m happy 😊 thank you so much sis Xoli❤️ for this,I hope other people can take your advice and pursue what they really like and not do courses that they don’t like because of pressure.
I took a gap year in 2020 and not bc I wanted to but bc varsities were rejecting me
And I was so desperate to get in that I was willing to take anything
That made me realise that I didn’t even know what I wanted but the pressure was to be like everyone else who was in varsity
2021 I got myself a learnership in film and tv bc it’s always been my dream and now I have an internship in a great production company and I already have my foot in the industry
When I look back now
That pressure after high school is killing us
I even ended up in a psychiatric hospital bc I got depressed
Love this for you! ♥️
@@growthwithareshumeni5278 thank you ❤️
Mmmm 🔥🔥
How did u get that learnership
Can we give Xoli her flowers because WOW!!!! She gave us a lifetime of knowledge. she is the older sister we all deserve. ❤👑
I am a culprit of wanting everything figured out, and it hurts sometimes when everything is not going well & you seriously can't see the end of the tunnel. But I've learned to take things one at a time and trust in God's timing.
Thank you, Aunty Darlin ❤❤
it sucks A LOT but remember EVERYTHING WORKS TOGETHER FOR GOOD
"What do you bring to the table? I am the fucken table" ✊🏾😭😭pls give XO an Oscar
Woow Xoli love love the advice.. I am turning 40 this year I don't know how many times I have started over, after matric I did my Bsc after completing it I didn't know what job I would get and I was 20 then went and did another course in business and events management still that wasn't it for me, worked along the way @29 yrs old I was doing my 1st year yet again in another course and thank God it was it.. My point is, it can take a while to figure it out and your friends can get it the 1st time around,but it will also work out for you.
Hey sis thank you for sharing your story…I am currently doing a BSc degree and am worried about the job opportunities…was it only because you didn’t know the kind of job you wanted or were they just scarce?😭
@@leesomz8876 then I didn't know much about career-opportunities for a BSc graduete for me the plan was to go into medicine after but then I realized medicine wasn't for me.. Currently there are lots of opportunities/choices depending on your course streem
@@luuh9317 am doing Bsc Biological sciences
Aunty Darling is building young ladies into women with standards and I love to see it!
These men must be shaking, TREMBLING!
Absolutely love this video!! 💕❤️🥂
I stayed in a 3 year toxic relationship thinking this is it for me, got to know myself and I asked myself “ Why am I still in this toxic relationship “ and I couldn’t answer. That’s when I knew I had to leave. Telling someone who is deeply in love to leave is difficult. Rather let them discover by themselves and trust me, once you make that choice to leave? No one will change your mind.
I’m turning 29 this year and in my early 20s i took advantage of just living life and exploring what I enjoyed doing and that how I feel inlove with makeup and didn’t want to pursue a degree in marketing as much as I completed and got my diploma I didn’t have that drive to want to pursue it.. your 20s just like Xoli explained is the opportunity for us women to see & explore what we like and don’t like, it’s unfortunate that most of us fall victim of being bullied or forced to go work/ study in a field we know we won’t thrive in. But know something this is your life, do what makes YOU happy and gradually everything starts opening up to you ♥️
Thank you for this video Xoli, it was an eye opener and it helped me put into perspective a lot of things I’ve been afraid of doing because I used to be a people’s pleaser.
Thank you so much for this sis.
@@bra_bunz You’re welcome sis ♥️
My sister please those candles will burn out, melt to the ground plss and ghat wax will drip down the drain if we don't meet our goals!! Darlins let's stand up and fetch ourselves in our 20s. Thanks Xoli, I love you dearly 💗 ❤
Xoli, I stay in a family house and I have a son. I hate that my son is three years already and we still stay here. The communication in this household is terrible. Hope all changes soon...
I absolutely love the sit down videos and the topics are very relatable... turning 23 this year and looking back when i was 17 i thought I'd be very far in LIFE whereas like you said Aunty we need to start somewhere and that we need to be realistic and in be on our own pace.
Thank you for this❤
When the book of life comes out you know the wisdom is coming 🔥🔥
There is nothing as attractive as a beautiful woman who is wise👑🥂. Thank you sooo much Miss Xo❤.
A very honest conversation, and social media leads to mental health issues and suicides. We need to stay true to ourselves
It's funny how you and I are the same age but I receive your advice as though it comes from a big sister/mother. Your perspective on navigating life as a young independent woman is very profound.
Xoli is the big sister we never knew we needed! Argh I love and appreciate you mamas🥺🤍
Not manifesting candles burning to the ground 😭😂😂 I agree with most of the stuff you said pearls dropped
😂 😂 😂 🕯
It dawned on me to also share my story...when I got admitted to Uni I was admitted for a course I wanted(media) but it wasn't sponsored so had to change to something I have no knowledge about and i suck at...even though life threw me that way...I had passions and dreams and I realized i had to incorporate that somehow. Doing small media courses etc ..I came to that point because I spoke up on how unhappy and overwhelmed I was to the school management...Just speak up to your elders ...to those in charge let them guide you ..advice you ..help you..because my Faculty Admin was there...my Deputy Dean came.through for me as well because I spoke up ..my mother was there as well ...all I had to do was ask ...speak up ...Don't be overwhelmed to a point of suffocation for something you don't like and have no plans for.
I'll be 21 years old in Monday so far being in my 20s has taught me to stand up for myself being independent because no one is gonna do stuff for me. In varsity and its taugh i won't lie trying to navigate my final year for a course that i didn't anticipate. Although i have a chance to start my dream degree next year also working part time and getting my own place will mean a lot for me. Friends change and family change its okay to feel otherwise I've learned to move on. Pleasing everyone is my problem. Losing sense of self in that process.
Thank you aunty for this topic yazin you making sense! Am taking notes for real.
I love how you said you gonna make this video short even though it wasn't in the beginning. 😂😂 Otherwise really enjoyed this chat. "Manifestation comes with hard work" "Work on your own pace" argh so much to note down,love you.🥺❤❤AND Thank you Darlin.
I relate to point 1 a lot. I finished matric in 2017 and 2018 I went to study IT I didn’t really like it but I was afraid to let my parents down so I pushed the whole year. When I was had to go back to do my second year I told my parents I didn’t want to because I didn’t really like it. My parents were supportive ( well at least to my face) and they said okay. 2019 I stayed at home trying to figure out what I want to do but I felt like a I failed because most of my classmates were in varsity doing courses they like and they were killing it so I felt like something is wrong with me like how do I not know what I want to do? So around June I went to an engineering college that also didn’t last long I got so frustrated I sunk into depression. 2020 Jan I applied at UNISA and I got accepted I did a higher certificate in something that I really like and everything felt right and now I am in my second year of my degree and I love what I am studying.
Just sat down and watched this.. I love how real it actually is. I literally just finished varsity last year and in the same year I fell pregos towards the end of the year. Homegirl is here, 7 months pregnant, jobless and literally clueless but still hopeful. I think I am too in a rush to figure shit out mostly because now I also have a child on the way but also I think my baby deserves the best version of me and that means working towards that.
This reminds me of when I had to take a gap year 2019(the year I had to finish my diploma). I literally thought things were really falling apart for me and all my friends will be finishing while I’m left behind. I remember first day of my final year 2020 I broke down cos all my friends were gone and I was left all alone. Really didn’t think I was gonna be able to finish. I kinda thank Covid happened cos my campus days that year was just me going to my classes then Back home when I’m done. Had no social life whatsoever and that would break me soo much. But now I’m glad I completed my diploma
Thank you so much aunty Darlin🥰🥰 looking fabulous as always. I'm 24 completed my degree in Town Planning 2020, I like it but I don't love it. My heart has always been on the creative side of things. I spent 2021 job hunting, I had to move back home, I was under so much pressure (mostly self-inflicted) and I was in the worst mental shape I'd been in, in years but it gave me time to realise that I can't live for my people's satisfaction and my parents expectations. I have to chase my dreams, so I'm dedicating 2022 to bossing up and taking full ownership of my life. Thank you for the advice. 🥰
i definitely relate.i just finished my accounting degree, now working for a good firm but i totally feel like I am drowning and its not me.I am so creative and i really want to chase me but there is a whole family and friendship pressure that is suffocating me so much.
I'm so glad I watched this video because I have been feeling down since friday because of school.
I completed my N6(Marketing management)last year and I have to look for internships (which is very hard because I've been been applying since last year with no luck) and most of my classmates went to universities and I kind of felt the pressure and got a bit demotivated because I felt like I'm behind. Your video made me realize that each and every person must just move in their own pace and that I should not compare myself to my peers. OWN RACE OWN PACE.
Thank you so much XO
I love your advices🥺♥️I ended up not applying at university last year because I just didn't know what I wanted to do... I was so confused because all I knew was engineering as I was at technical school,I told my mom I just don't want to do engineering anymore because I just don't understand maths & physics and it's the major things in engineering.My family now thinks I don't want school, talking about how my cousins are at university and I'm just here at home,it really doesn't bother me anymore because I know what I was going through.In the past months I took time to have self introspection and now I know what I want and it's not engineering. I'm just waiting to apply for the coming year
I'm 27 and I agree with everything. I loved every minute of this!
These sit down videos, I’m here for them. Love everything you said and you always make me feel better after these kind of videos. Love you ma.❤️☺️
I had to play this video 2 times because YOUUUUU mammm inspire me, im actaully turning 30 this month but im proud to say you inspire me..... IM A BADASS nd i LOVE YOU 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Enjoying these sit-down sessions some much and it is at such a great time of the year, the beginning where we are all just trying to find our balance again. Thank You :)
Definitely sitting down for this one!!!❤️❤️❤️💯
Thank you, Xoli❤thank you for reminding me of all the possibilities and opportunities I can attain and achieve. It's been hard navigating my 20s and trying to find my identity. But I'm making it happen, with each small step i take, each breath, I'm happy that I'm moving forward.
The day there’s no space to write in that book , you’ll have to search for the same book , I think we’re all attached to that book 😂😂😂😂love you by the way 🥺
How much am becoming so selfish about myself in 20s all thanks to you miss xo❤
I think a gap year is so underrated and looked down upon because it gives people the idea that you have no direction. But in actual fact a gap year allows you to take time to yourself and learn so much about yourself without all these distractions around you. Yes you’ll feel like an outcast but it is so worth it! Trust me. Your parents might not agree with it and call you lazy or whatever but do it for you! I think it’s so much better than torturing your mental health with something you don’t want to see study. I definitely encourage everyone that comes from matric to take a gap year.
I took a gap year in 2020, and despite what was going on in the world it was probably the best year for me. I learnt so much about myself that I honestly wouldn’t have known if it wasn’t for that year. I was going to study law coming out of high school because my parents wanted me to but I changed my mind and told them I actually want to study Fashion Media. Having strict parents, it actually made them mad and they said a few hurtful things. But now, I’m studying what I love and having the best time of my life! Your parents won’t be mad forever hunny. My parents fully support my dreams now. Do what YOU want. Life is too short to be torturing your mental health just cause your parents chose a career for you.
I want you to know this, I love you so much. These 20s videos are giving me so much life, you literally change one's perspective on certain things. You are a powerhouse, ungabungabazi ubuGhost bakho 💕✨
Love this video! 😍
God created the whole universe using his words, Words are powerful speak those big “unrealistic” things into your life. God wants to give us pieces of heaven here on earth, gold and silver are yours! Yes, have short term goals, but don’t neglect those “unrealistic” goals thinking they’re Farfetched, speak them into your life by faith.
Thank you Miss XO for confirming that our twenties are basically trial and error.😆 Living my life based of confusion was definitely driving me back into depression. I was genuinely getting scared there for a minute.😅
Please know we appreciate you and the knowledge you’re passing down to us. 🥺💖👉🏾👈🏾
I'm in my mid 20's mna self and it gets a a bit rough outchea job wise ,financially, etc...and some pointers here are very important , the life lessons nd motivation behind most of your sit down videos are what we need. Thank you for this video Aunty💯👌🏾❤
I appreciate your presence coz you helped me differentiate between envying and being motivated by people's achievements
Miss xo thank you❤❤am 21 was always told that I don't listen other people not I don't but I always ask myself what want. It even got worse when I choose a certain course n I was told that it difficult it's big for me n I was demotivated but I told myself am big girl I know what I want ,I know the why am choosing it. I keep on motivating myself n following positive people who did the course n look at me now💃 last year I was done .
I’m always laughing when watching your videos 😂😂. The jokes you make in between are unmatched 🤞🏾😂😂. Love this! ❤️
I wish I had this type of information a few years ago, I could have saved myself a lot of time and money. But there is no point in looking back. This is the best advice I have ever come across especially career wise.🤗 Thank you soo much Aunty Darlin ❤️
Omw your last point? You’re literally speaking to me😮💨❤️. It hit a nerve and I’m happy that you touched on this topic of constantly persevering in a relationship that is not beneficial at all. Thank you so much ❤️.
I really needed to hear this as I put so much pressure on myself , yes I look around but I was never realistic about my goals. I always thought I am pressed for time. Thank You for this Aunty Darlin , I started being realistic with myself and what I want to achieve. xoxoxo
Ngl Auntie Dharliiiii’s level of authenticity is A1!!! I’m 27 and really enjoy her advice and experience videos!!
The biggest mistake I believe i did in my 20s was not taking a gap year after high school and allowing my family to persuade me into doing engineering when I knew very well that I sucked in physics and that I could do better in something that was more related to geography but I just did not have the right information as to which career path I should take. Man I suffered depression for 2 years studying something I hated from day one until I ultimately dropped out. Then I was able to apply for a career path in geography which I am so passionate about, I even get excited when I’m about to receive my study material or when I’m just supposed to study because it’s something that I really just love and happy doing. So I advocate people to take a gap year after high school I swear you’re not dumb for doing that, you’re actually very much wise because people end up dropping out their courses and chances are you will not even have to do that because you had enough time to assess yourself and understand which path will work best for you.
I'm 19 🥳, and I attended fashion school last year , unfortunately I had a very bad experience with the school that I attended , I still very much love fashion though and I am taking a gap year this year and I'm planning my year on practicing my sewing , revising a lot of things that I didn't get to fully learn properly last year , I also feel blessed that my parents allowed me to take a gap year because I'm already enjoying it since I'm learning a lot of things at my own pace😌 , the only thing I'm struggling with is having a proper daily routine since I find it hard waking up early cos I want to do so much in one day😂 , I really enjoyed the video Xoli , can't wait for more!❤
I have been going through the most lately, anxiety and mental break down. I really needed this.
I need to get my 17 year old sister to watch this♥️♥️♥️🙌🏾🙌🏾wena uzokuzwa because wow ma’am!
Thank you ☺️ missXo ... big sister advice is always 🔥♥️ i love it here.... there’s so much growth in this channel♥️🤞🏽
I'm here at 00h10 n I enjoyed every point you stated. I just love you mahn 😍❤️✨
I’m 19 now turning 20 and like since this year started my life has rocked because of a toxic relationship and friends and just never choosing myself and being honest with myself and holding on to the toxicity because I’ve been with that person for the longest time and just thinking what am I going to do if I lose him. Like Xoli said if a man really loves you he’ll do right by you!!!
"Is it the molly or crack? Or both?" Morning made. Thank you aunty darlin🤣🤣❤
I am sooooo hooked into all the 20's content you've uploaded shem❤🔥🤌💯thank you so much. We all start somewhere vele💯❤
HI LADIES, NEVER MARRY IN COMMUNITY OF PROPERTY PLEASE. OR HAVE YOUR THINGS FIRST LIKE CAREER, HOUSE ECT. I REGRET GETTING MARRIED BEFORE I CAN GET EVERYTHING I WANT.
I'm 23 and have a 30yr old boyfriend, the guy wants to settle down he wants to get married and staff, I did want to get married really like marriage, but I feel like I don't want to get married at this age and time of my life.
@@nontokozombatha276 LISTEN TO YOUR HEART, DONT GET MARRIED BECAUSE HE THINKS HE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE.
Our L.O teacher 💛😭🔥we are blessed
I always take notes when you do sit down videos and I enjoy them so much. I agree particularly with the people pleaser point because I am unlearning this and it is so uncomfortable and so weird for me. I sometimes feel like I'm doing something wrong when I don't do things to please people anymore. Thanks for imparting knowledge and nudging me in the unlearning direction a bit more.
Side note: may you please do a video in your Nigerian accent one of these days.
Relatable
Joh Xoli I've been really enjoying these sit down advice videos. Please keep them coming 🖤🖤
Truly appreciate you making such videos 🥺❤❤ they helping me grow in soo many amazing ways
You literally are our step up sister 🤌🏿🥰
Thanks miss xo I relate so much..I'm 19 and I took a gab year last year because I was sooo confused, still confused about what direction to take but at this point I'm willing to do any course because my parents want me to go to school ASAP..Also I thought high school was holding me back ,yet again I'm still in the same position as 2 years ago,my peers are doing the most mina dololo but I'm not letting the pressure to get to me
Thank you very much xoxo🥺❤
Have u tried getting an internship or something like that which can help you decide on what career path u wanna take??
@@misscandice8849 no i have not actually
Man oh man this video🤌🏾💕 I’m 25 and I still feel like I need to hear this. Thanks so much✨ new subbie 🌸🌸
Thank You Aunty Darlin. One thing I always tell my friends is that its either a guy loves me more than I love myself or nothing, we really can't be settling for less Darlings.
What you mean babe
This was so much informative i can relate especially point number one so thank you aunty darlin these talks are very important
I loved this sit down,I really don't have much to say because you covered everything sis Xo... ❤️
We’ve been served by a multifaceted woman in a form of you Darling !!❤️🌻 you’re real 💯... love this advice!
iyho auntie Darling, for me its my mom who outs pressure on me. she always says when she was 22she was already working . not that i dont want to work but its hard to get a job these days and they dont want hire people without experience.
Yasss ma'am! Don't bekezel for non-sense 🙌 I've been saying this to my friends and they'll be like I need to be more patient 🧐 awa bathong 🚮
yohhh not Xoli touching on the biggest mistake I made when i first started Uni guys HE'S most probably not the man of your dreams please. Before looking at falling in love guys make sure to fall in love with yourself first . Self love will prevent you from accepting BS
I totally agree with taking a gap year. I was able to think critically and I went with a different route than what I wanted in Matric and that was the best decision I made.
Thank you so much Xoli, you don't have to have everything figured out 😍😍😍😍😍
This is everything and more😥😥😔we definitely appreciate such talks as women... Thank you Xoli for this ❤️
abeg , our queen looks like Bonang Matheba . 🤗❤️ also , this was a very informative video , thank you auntyy dar'lin .
"It's okay to not have everything figured out" hey ?? Plz ❤
You really know how to speak soul to soul and I need to do some introspection about this.Thank you babe definitely refilling the cups 💕
Am I the only one that clicks the like button before listening/watching? 🙈😊
Yhooooooooooooooooooooooooo yhooooooooooooooooo 😭😭😭this video is EVERYTHING! I get youuuu❤️
This is so eye opening and highly relatable, I like how you advise us as "young women" from time to time.
I'm turning 18 and I've learnt alot from you today . Please make more videos like this . Peer pressure is too much
You literally a big sister I’ve never had ❤️
We need more of these sit down videos please 🥺❤️
This book of life contains life indeed.Thank you Miss Xo.❤❤❤❤
Xoli really makes an effort in making sure her subscribers are well taken care of . She literally takes care of us in terms of advice shem
Therapy with Auntie Darlin is the best
Going to refer back to this ❤️ loved watching this
no ways, Xoli is an incredibly wise women. she's literally the older sister i wish i had. ngiyabonga kakhulu for this video. ❤️❤️❤️
I always come back to watch this video because I mess up and beat myself up about a lot not happening in my life.Thank you Xo.❤
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂I died at "Those candles will burn! Everyday utoya espaza to buy candles"
My safe space♥️Thank you so much for the tips definitely taking note✨
❤️ Thank you for this video mami. It feels like a much needed hug. So much reassurance.
It's the book of life for me making me to want to do better for myself ❤️ you get me? Love your content sis❤️❤️
Oh Gosh! Where were you during my early 20s?
Love love your content with that glitters book.
Yass I'm that babe 😍 😘
Thank you so much Xoli for this I needed this video.I'm at U.P studying Political Science and it was never what I wanted to do in the first place as I wanted to do Media involving T.V and Radio but a friend of my moms advised her International Relations is the best for a career but all I want to do its host on radio and tv or events even.Few weeks ago I applied for TUKS F.M so that I start out small in something that I love to do and a few days later I got a call to come for an interview and my spirit was lifted and I remember one of them asking in the interview if I start will I be willing to do 2am to 4am shows will training I said I wouldnt mind because this is what I want for the longest time and my passion and I believe it will open so many doors in entertainment for me all Im waiting for is feedback now from them and hopefully I get in.Thanks Xoli♥
Just love you aunty Dar lin❤️❤️❤️watching your videos just inspirational
Don't EVER let a man take a man take anything from you. You are the fucken table. Yeboooooooo.....thank you for saying people must dream realistically! Yoh our generation doesn't understand patience.
I really needed this!!!! Love you auntie Darl