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Trump Picks J.D. Vance as His Running Mate

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  • Опубліковано 25 сер 2024
  • Seth Meyers does his monologue for Tuesday, July 16, before sizzling through a list of topics and firing sick burns at some deserving subjects, like birdwatching and complicated cocktails.
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    Trump Picks J.D. Vance as His Running Mate - Late Night with Seth Meyers
    • Trump Picks J.D. Vance...
    Late Night with Seth Meyers
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 2 тис.

  • @thesoundsmith
    @thesoundsmith Місяць тому +1679

    Vance called Trump, "America's Hitler." Trump was so pleased that finally _somebody_ understood him, he hired the guy.

    • @ClaudiaAnn-uk5dv
      @ClaudiaAnn-uk5dv Місяць тому

      Harris called Biden a racist to his face

    • @Danny-lr1yg
      @Danny-lr1yg Місяць тому +27

      This comment is botted btw, this dude is a notorious comment botter

    • @annjohnson8437
      @annjohnson8437 Місяць тому +12

      I think you're right!

    • @humanbeing8400
      @humanbeing8400 Місяць тому

      Kamala called Biden a racist

    • @Bamajana
      @Bamajana Місяць тому +5

      😂

  • @anthonysilvestri4946
    @anthonysilvestri4946 Місяць тому +709

    JD Vance is the quintessential "born again" Trump sycophant! Did he really think we weren't gonna go back n watch the interviews from 2016? 😂😂😂

    • @katalac
      @katalac Місяць тому +37

      He simply doesn't care

    • @anthonysilvestri4946
      @anthonysilvestri4946 Місяць тому +47

      ​@@katalac No shame, no morals and no self respect... The prototypical MAGA politician 😂

    • @KtotheL
      @KtotheL Місяць тому

      just a hillbilly that shoulda stayed where he belongs in the woods....

    • @nicklindberg90
      @nicklindberg90 Місяць тому

      MAGAs are too griftable for anyone to care

    • @sherinameless1618
      @sherinameless1618 Місяць тому +29

      Trump said that J.D. now appreciates how awesome Trump is, and that's all the info the Trump base needs.

  • @ctomsky
    @ctomsky Місяць тому +41

    "Grunting over a deuce" was comedy gold. Props to whoever wrote that one.

  • @johnnyhunter
    @johnnyhunter Місяць тому +84

    I just love the 'Ya Burnt' personality that talks back to Seth. That voice is perfect lol.

    • @HoraceInkling
      @HoraceInkling Місяць тому +8

      Did you think Seth’s nightgiggling sounded like Tucker Carlson?

    • @burnyizland
      @burnyizland Місяць тому

      @@HoraceInkling It DID! Couldn't place it, thank you.

  • @maryallan3982
    @maryallan3982 Місяць тому +189

    Remember 'The Stepford Wives'? J.D. is the Stepford Veep

  • @StumpkillerCP
    @StumpkillerCP Місяць тому +45

    Wonderful fact about the Stegosaurus. The four spikes on the tail had no identifying name until palentologists adopted the name Gary Larson had put in a cartoon. The "Thagomizer", named after the late Thag Simmons", became a real thing. I love paleontologists.

    • @WW-hr1hd
      @WW-hr1hd Місяць тому +5

      Gary Larson and The Far Side ROCK! I'm not sure if they did this in other cities, but Denver's Museum of Nature and Science hosted an exhibit of The Far Side back in the early 1990s. It says a lot about the scientific authenticity of The Far Side to have an exhibit at a Nature and Science Museum. One of my all time favorite exhibits!

    • @calumproctor981
      @calumproctor981 Місяць тому +2

      Strigiphilus garylarsoni is a species of chewing louse found only on owls.
      "And I think to myself, 'What a wonderful world'."

  • @MarkSchenfisch
    @MarkSchenfisch Місяць тому +45

    "send my assistant to go to the bathroom for me" is the perfect follow-through on the logic of the joke. No corrections here, just a gold star for attention to detail!!! ⭐

  • @timothyball3144
    @timothyball3144 Місяць тому +499

    He chose Vance BECAUSE Vance compared him to the guy with the mustache. He knows that Vance just gets him

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Місяць тому +1

      👨🏼‍🦰IM EATING A HAMBURGER 🍔
      👴🏻🥃 I WANT A SALAMI ON RYE WID A KOSHER PICKLE ON THE SIDE.

    • @LindaC616
      @LindaC616 Місяць тому +3

      😅

    • @jeanspur
      @jeanspur Місяць тому +7

      So weirdly true.

    • @richardgann5400
      @richardgann5400 Місяць тому

      What a Pycho and Sociopath he Is. Everyone can See That.

    • @D.MichelleBoydston
      @D.MichelleBoydston Місяць тому +6

      I think he chose him because he thinks Vance is not that smart and he can always throw him under the magat bus if he wants to. Vance was stupid not to listen to his own words.

  • @StarParticleShade
    @StarParticleShade Місяць тому +121

    Jackal here:
    Excuse me sir - they doooooooooo have 'adult' coloring books. They have them with rude gestures, lewd acts, adult-themes, and my favorite - curse words in amazing designs.
    Get you one. They're awesome. When I get mad at someone, I color the picture in their 'pallet'. It's a good, secret burn - unless you give it to them, which then it's just fun. :D
    Love yoooou!

    • @taram9866
      @taram9866 Місяць тому +13

      I have the curse words coloring book. It's awesome!

    • @The_Infamous_Boogyman
      @The_Infamous_Boogyman Місяць тому +1

      How could they not know that?

    • @StarParticleShade
      @StarParticleShade Місяць тому +4

      @@The_Infamous_Boogyman ​ @The_Infamous_Boogyman Probably because they didn't just look for one online.
      It's also fun to steal pages from my kid's coloring books to alter a picture to make a princess look like she's got a dubs. It just takes a few strokes of the pen and some imagination.
      I did some insane alterations to a kid's coloring book my friend bought me as a jab. Jokes on him, I made all of those things into little versions of us, and gave it back.
      He loved it - it made him laugh so hard.

    • @jbuster9
      @jbuster9 Місяць тому +6

      Palette?

    • @starksandrecreation
      @starksandrecreation Місяць тому +6

      Yup! My favorite one is cutesy animals being vulgar. I want to get the “let’s summon demons” one (after I work through some of the ones I have)

  • @Dan_Boston
    @Dan_Boston Місяць тому +22

    Vance looks like if Eric and Don Jr. had a baby

  • @kevinmcqueenie7420
    @kevinmcqueenie7420 Місяць тому +117

    Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Lyndsay Graham, JD Vance… The list goes on. Power over principle, each and every one.

    • @ragnong9680
      @ragnong9680 Місяць тому

      You clearly know nothing about Republican politics if you lumped JD with those clowns. JD is a pro-labor pro-union Republican who had the stones to be anti-war in warmongering party as a junior senator. He marks a drastic shift in the priorities of the Republican party away from the foreign policy excesses of Bush, McCain and Romney, and into a new future for the party.

    • @Elwaves2925
      @Elwaves2925 Місяць тому +6

      It's like the boy band nobody wanted or liked, yet they still might get to No. 1.
      In reverse order, you have the initials guy, the one with a usually female name, the foreign name guy and the one no one remembers the name of. 😁

    • @DarinDan-t5s
      @DarinDan-t5s Місяць тому +6

      Add Nikki haley as the new spineless .

    • @Keithustus
      @Keithustus Місяць тому +1

      Well Lyndsey Graham was never really about principles in the first place. Just whatever the wind wants.

  • @willwebber6496
    @willwebber6496 Місяць тому +160

    "JD Vance looks like a Funco Pop doll of himself" - It's funny because it's true! 😂

    • @chady77077
      @chady77077 Місяць тому +1

      Yeah Kamala is waaaay better looking LOL

    • @witchypoorose5196
      @witchypoorose5196 Місяць тому +1

      I loved that one! 😅

    • @signumcrucis71
      @signumcrucis71 Місяць тому

      Spoiled naive

    • @norman_james455
      @norman_james455 Місяць тому +1

      @@chady77077 Yes, your statement, minus the lame sarcasm, is correct.

  • @alanacholmes
    @alanacholmes Місяць тому +218

    After 8 days with no power (thanks Beryl and Centerpoint executives), I'm so excited to watch Sethly from my own home!!

    • @KeithJackson-ux7eh
      @KeithJackson-ux7eh Місяць тому +27

      Hey congrats. Hope you’re safe and well

    • @Kc-dq7zj
      @Kc-dq7zj Місяць тому +23

      Ugh, so glad you have power again!!

    • @tonydezurik6863
      @tonydezurik6863 Місяць тому +33

      Well, the storm is a mindless random thing. On the other hand, Centerpoint CHOOSE to not spend a dime to upgrade its grid...

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Місяць тому +1

      👴🏻🥃 ROBERT DUNDER IN 24

    • @leahmurphy59
      @leahmurphy59 Місяць тому

      Hope you haven’t voted for those two loser Cruz and Abbutt.

  • @guyvizard549
    @guyvizard549 Місяць тому +79

    Earlier today, I think a local CBS affiliate ran with the headline "Who is J.D. Vance?"
    I wrote, "Depends on who's asking."

  • @richardhendrix1274
    @richardhendrix1274 Місяць тому +110

    Don't blame the person with the Samsung, blame Apple for not accepting modern texting protocols.

    • @ArcticGnome-iw4ds
      @ArcticGnome-iw4ds Місяць тому +30

      Apple is still trying to figure out USB technology. Texting protocols will take them a while.

    • @mrjohndangerpowers
      @mrjohndangerpowers Місяць тому +15

      If Iphones didn't arbitrarily make texting with non-iphones worse in order make their users feel superior, then people might realize that $1200 is a brain dead amount to spend on a phone.

    • @witchypoorose5196
      @witchypoorose5196 Місяць тому +2

      🙌🏻

    • @jonathanolson6237
      @jonathanolson6237 Місяць тому +1

      Add in the fact the current culture of iPhone users shaming Android users has undoubtedly caused more than a few to make the switch. I imagine that they're actually trying to do the opposite, and are actually looking for more reasons to make Android users look 'odd'.

  • @pushinkeys
    @pushinkeys Місяць тому +288

    trumps braveheart speech- “they may take our lives!… well not my life but maybe yours..”

    • @kissedbysun2517
      @kissedbysun2517 Місяць тому +10

      I'm just glad he didn't wave his willy at the crowd

    • @madalynnmccarron4590
      @madalynnmccarron4590 Місяць тому +40

      "Some of you may die... but that is a sacrifice that I'm willing to make." - Lord Farquad, Shrek

    • @user-ks1rt1kb1b
      @user-ks1rt1kb1b Місяць тому +15

      Get my shoe

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Місяць тому +5

      🔥

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Місяць тому

      @@user-ks1rt1kb1b
      👴🏻🥃 WEAR IS BACK PACK KID AT?

  • @Scribblerjohnny
    @Scribblerjohnny Місяць тому +37

    Vance looks like the third preset for a video game character

  • @26beegee
    @26beegee Місяць тому +339

    Trump never learned anything about governing, economics or democracy and Vance has only 18 months of political experience. What could go wrong? 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • @kyallon1213
      @kyallon1213 Місяць тому +15

      They’re both figureheads, neither of them will have to make a decision if they win

    • @zedmelon
      @zedmelon Місяць тому +8

      ​@@kyallon1213 It's with a heavy heart I upvote your (astute) comment.

    • @terrygrant9140
      @terrygrant9140 Місяць тому +3

      @@kyallon1213 You've confused them with Biden and Harris.

    • @brandonbauder6157
      @brandonbauder6157 Місяць тому +6

      Joe had 47 and look how thay bs worked

    • @frogman7986
      @frogman7986 Місяць тому

      Biden has how many decades in office and since he’s taken presidency hasn’t contributed to bettering the economy or democracy 💀

  • @Tonyhouse1168
    @Tonyhouse1168 Місяць тому +22

    NOTHING slows down bar service like espresso martinis with fresh-made coffee. 25 years in the bar/restaurant business and I don’t miss them AT ALL.

  • @brenta2634
    @brenta2634 Місяць тому +126

    J. D. Vance looks like the garbage pail kids cross between Eric and Don Jr. 😂

    • @marks4708
      @marks4708 Місяць тому

      Well you know when you start insulting someone’s appearance that you don’t have much of an IQ. 🤷🏼‍♂️

    • @BurritoMassacre
      @BurritoMassacre Місяць тому +5

      I said the same thing on X 😂 well that he looked like a Garbage Pail kid Not the Don part

    • @brenta2634
      @brenta2634 Місяць тому +7

      @@BurritoMassacre I hope he shaves his beard and start wearing baggy suits. Mini-Trump!

    • @ronaldrothchild4068
      @ronaldrothchild4068 Місяць тому +3

      A hybrid of Eric and Don

    • @dracoargentum9783
      @dracoargentum9783 Місяць тому +3

      “The son he wished for”

  • @rosshalz
    @rosshalz Місяць тому +97

    Correction : that one person in the text chain with green bubbles is not necessarily on a Samsung... Any android will do it. Also go cry to apple about this. They're the ones keeping it this way
    Edit:Also Seth said Samsung Galaxy X4 towards the end of ya burnt ,but I'm sure he meant S4 because there is no phone called Galaxy X4. Additionally the note 7 was the phone that notoriously caught fire , not the galaxy S4.

    • @LindaC616
      @LindaC616 Місяць тому +8

      Exactly
      My S5 was amazing and if it had not been stolen I'm convinced it would still be working today! When I had to replace it because it was stolen, I insisted that they give me an S10 because I already knew about the S7 and wasn't having it

    • @jcjunglebob
      @jcjunglebob Місяць тому +13

      Or switch to a non-apple device so you don't have these issues in the first place.

    • @frankandstein8618
      @frankandstein8618 Місяць тому +27

      Seth, your privilege is showing in your snobbish criticism of Android.

    • @nancyharrison9686
      @nancyharrison9686 Місяць тому +14

      Happily watching this on my android brick

    • @alrightyru
      @alrightyru Місяць тому +6

      Oohhh! Multiple Corrections! 😂

  • @EthelJung-j5w
    @EthelJung-j5w Місяць тому +226

    Devoted android user here. The thing to remember is that the roadblock to compatible texting is Apple, not Google or Samsung. When my iPhone friends react to a text message, it displays as it should on my Samsung. It doesn't work in the other direction due to Apple.

    • @nuthinmuffins5073
      @nuthinmuffins5073 Місяць тому +17

      I don’t really understand people defending their use of any kind of phone. They all have pros and cons, and none of it should be taken personally. I guess that’s part of the joke, but I still find the premise tedious.

    • @spinozatheobvious626
      @spinozatheobvious626 Місяць тому +10

      Okay so when you say "texting" I guess you mean SMS? Is that the other part of the story I'm missing? That this is just another part of Americans being weird by using SMS instead of a messaging app like WhatsApp or Signal? Cause I'm pretty sure on a messaging app you cannot see what platform the other people use.

    • @GenRN
      @GenRN Місяць тому +1

      As an iPhone user I cannot see myself having a significant relationship with any one of the opposite phone brands. It ruins iMessage. Sorry.

    • @kranodor
      @kranodor Місяць тому +14

      @@spinozatheobvious626 America has, like, 60% iPhone vs. 40% across all makes of phone using Android, Europe more like 35% iPhone vs. 65% Android. And there's sections of the US population (I don't know if it's regional, or socio-economic strata or whatever) where (almost) everyone has an iPhone, and the one person with the Android phone - then usually a Samsung, of course - sticks out like a sore thumb, thus creating these stories and memes that are happily replicated among other groups consisting of iPhone users only.
      I've seen culture shock videos of Americans visiting Europe and only then even learning apps like WhatsApp exists and being surprised at how many people are using Android phones.

    • @spinozatheobvious626
      @spinozatheobvious626 Місяць тому +5

      @@kranodor oh yeah I know about the texting thing... this was a major thing on facebook some years ago, where loads of Europeans were suddenly finding out that US Americans don't know WhatsApp. For me it was an eye opener because I always assumed that when people on US tv were saying "texting" they meant sending messages through WhatsApp/Signal/Telegram 🤣.

  • @ccaiti1057
    @ccaiti1057 Місяць тому +43

    Correction: the iphone woes you had are all design flaws due to the iphone

  • @AnnaAnna428
    @AnnaAnna428 Місяць тому +20

    There’s always talk about tree frogs before Ya Burnt. What’s if I actually wanted to learn something about tree frogs? 🤣

    • @sherinameless1618
      @sherinameless1618 Місяць тому +6

      Seth's writers were assigned that report on migrating tree frogs four years ago, and they keep giving Seth "Ya Burnt" instead. I wouldn't put up with it, if I were him.

    • @AnnaAnna428
      @AnnaAnna428 Місяць тому +5

      @@sherinameless1618 I mean… I’ll laugh every time, but someone out there is actually genuinely interested in learning a real tree fact. 🤣

    • @sparkythancztwise
      @sparkythancztwise Місяць тому +1

      @@AnnaAnna428 p.s.
      🤣🤪😄

    • @Room142
      @Room142 Місяць тому

      Migrating tree frog bit getting interrupted goes way back to his days on weekend update at snl

  • @sherinameless1618
    @sherinameless1618 Місяць тому +40

    I stand by my opinion that J.D. Vance looks like a young Steve Bannon.

    • @paulchamberlain8355
      @paulchamberlain8355 Місяць тому

      Bannon looks like he lives in the trash can next to Oscar the grouch

    • @antondovydaitis2261
      @antondovydaitis2261 Місяць тому +3

      Speaking of which, I hear Bannon has taken to wearing two pairs of pants in prison.

    • @sherinameless1618
      @sherinameless1618 Місяць тому +3

      @@antondovydaitis2261 Good observation. And how many shirts do they issue to inmates, because Steve will need to wear them all.

  • @sebastianalemar6972
    @sebastianalemar6972 Місяць тому +130

    I bet Tim Scott is crying in his room since Trump didn’t pick him. 😂

    • @sigil8386
      @sigil8386 Місяць тому +30

      Tim Scott humiliated himself so badly auditioning for the job of VP that he better be in his room thinking about he did and reevaluating his life choices.

    • @MsWarriordiva
      @MsWarriordiva Місяць тому +26

      He'd NEVER pick a woman or African American!!!.

    • @istdochallesegal3427
      @istdochallesegal3427 Місяць тому +21

      ​@@MsWarriordiva It's not a "black job"!!!

    • @thunderousapplause
      @thunderousapplause Місяць тому +14

      yeah but now he doesnt have to marry a woman.

    • @brenta2634
      @brenta2634 Місяць тому +4

      With or without his "finance?" 🤔

  • @datyellaman447
    @datyellaman447 Місяць тому +62

    Wait until Maga finds out his wife is Indian 😂😂😂

    • @alrightyru
      @alrightyru Місяць тому +16

      VANCE'S SON IS NAMED VIVEK 😂 ... How will they hide that one?

    • @Xhumed
      @Xhumed Місяць тому

      They have, and they're reacting about how you'd expect.

    • @itsROMPERS...
      @itsROMPERS... Місяць тому

      Or, as the MAGAs call people like her, "black".
      And his kids, whom we were refer to as "mixed race" they call "half-breeds".

    • @guyman1570
      @guyman1570 Місяць тому +10

      Easy, make up a fake white name like Nikki instead of Nimatra 😂

    • @user-pl1yp1tj8b
      @user-pl1yp1tj8b Місяць тому

      Eh.... most of them still have no idea his daughter converted to Judaism.... MAGA is full of schlemiels....

  • @KingBobXVI
    @KingBobXVI Місяць тому +12

    I like how you can hear at the end of Ya Burnt where the audio guy didn't hit the buzzer on time, Seth getting mighty worried he's going to have to ad-lib some dunks on Swifties and invite their wrath for a couple seconds until the guy remembered the buzzer :P

  • @shnawdude03
    @shnawdude03 Місяць тому +304

    JD: The kid we only invited because he brought his PlayStation.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Місяць тому +1

      WEAR BACK PACK BOY AT ? BACK PACK BOY RULES

    • @DSAK55
      @DSAK55 Місяць тому +18

      The kid we only invited because his parents run the Heritage Foundation

    • @PresidentialEndeavors
      @PresidentialEndeavors Місяць тому

      @@DSAK55 The Heritage Foundation was behind the attempt. They were putting trump back in his place for trying to distance himself from it. Thats why he chose Vance too. He is a prisoner of his own cult now. Thats why he looks terrified.

    • @Fucknuts4u
      @Fucknuts4u Місяць тому

      Yay, typical bully. You still in 5th grade?

    • @Akartavor
      @Akartavor Місяць тому +1

      You don’t like them younger than 80 huh?

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Місяць тому +198

    Donnie's bronzer and hair.. Vance's manscaping and luscious lashes... They'd make great makeover show hosts after all this.

  • @user-ju3ku5re1v
    @user-ju3ku5re1v Місяць тому +12

    Me and my husband (Justin Shands) had to rewind several times to make sure Seth wasn't putting him on blast.

  • @wanderingseth
    @wanderingseth Місяць тому +9

    OMG gold medal to whoever wrote that 1812 Overture joke 😂

  • @syntaxerror9994
    @syntaxerror9994 Місяць тому +24

    There's an adult coloring book that's nothing but single curse words in large complex letters.

  • @The_R-n-I_Guy
    @The_R-n-I_Guy Місяць тому +552

    Please tell me that Vance has to give up his seat in Ohio now that he's running for VP. We don't want him in Ohio

    • @fionarobertson8841
      @fionarobertson8841 Місяць тому +26

      he only has to if Trump wins

    • @dr.g3860
      @dr.g3860 Місяць тому +40

      Since he's not up for reelection this year, he'll keep his senate seat if the former president loses in November. If they win, Governor DeWine will appoint a replacement senator to fill his seat. House members cannot run for reelection in the house if they decide to run in a senate primary, though, which is why Katie Porter will no longer be serving in congress next year.

    • @user-qr9nw2qb3j
      @user-qr9nw2qb3j Місяць тому

      Thank you my sentiment also. Fake Hillbilly and the anti-christ both need to learn how much they are despised.

    • @taram9866
      @taram9866 Місяць тому +78

      We don't want him in the WH either.

    • @wendyharvey6417
      @wendyharvey6417 Місяць тому

      Hope so. Vance is just a younger frump.🤮

  • @zencowboy27
    @zencowboy27 Місяць тому +10

    Hi Seth, professional guide here. I'll take you birding (not birdwatching) next time you take another one of those ill-timed vacations.

  • @nathanlitt1905
    @nathanlitt1905 Місяць тому +8

    corrections did you say su-du-ko? I feel like im having a stroke

  • @sherinameless1618
    @sherinameless1618 Місяць тому +103

    J.D. Vance WAS working for the aliens, but even they thought he was too slimy to tolerate.

    • @Elwaves2925
      @Elwaves2925 Місяць тому +3

      @shady-381 I know this isn't the topic but both these comments are so close regarding what I say about Piers Morgan.
      Back on topic, J.D. Vance is the reason why aliens would attack us on arrival.

    • @kelst75
      @kelst75 Місяць тому

      Why are so many of the Republicans so slimy? Gaetz, Vance, Jordan. Major ick factors.

    • @SandeepMohammedAli
      @SandeepMohammedAli Місяць тому +3

      @@Elwaves2925 cant stand piers morgan

    • @Elwaves2925
      @Elwaves2925 Місяць тому

      @@SandeepMohammedAli Yeah, I'm right there with you.

  • @unclegnar
    @unclegnar Місяць тому +6

    CORRECTION: It’s called birding, not birdwatching. It’s more than just watching. It also includes listening for calls, identifying different species, keeping lists of birds seen, and photography.

    • @DrWhom
      @DrWhom Місяць тому +1

      in the UK a bird is also a girl, and birdwatching is just that

    • @kenjcordero
      @kenjcordero Місяць тому

      Is birding like fishing? Do you catch and release?

  • @RealStuntPanda
    @RealStuntPanda Місяць тому +6

    Whenever someone says "J.D. Vance" I immediately think "... of Vance Refrigeration."

    • @richstrobel
      @richstrobel Місяць тому

      I thought of J.D. Sumner and J.D. Salinger.

  • @lnsflare1
    @lnsflare1 Місяць тому +63

    As an Android user, I'm smugly remembering the time that Seth treated the iPhone rolling out Swyping like it was cutting edge alien technology rather than something I had been using for years by that point.

    • @simonsancartier7417
      @simonsancartier7417 Місяць тому +32

      Choosing iPhones over Android just for blue bubbles will forever prove to me iPhone users know nothing and do not care to learn

    • @studiodreamken
      @studiodreamken Місяць тому +21

      It's ok, let the Apple cultists enjoy their koolaid.

    • @DeepSubmerge
      @DeepSubmerge Місяць тому +5

      Fess up, which one of you is Justin?

    • @zelgadis55tmnt35
      @zelgadis55tmnt35 Місяць тому +4

      @@studiodreamken I prefer to think of it as them paying extra for a status symbol because something else in their lives is a little too small for their liking XD

    • @n.r.m.15
      @n.r.m.15 Місяць тому +12

      I'm the only member in my family, not using an iPhone. But Idgaf.
      I still use my Samsung. I've dropped it in the toilet, the sink, the bathtub, and probably a million other times in 5 yrs. (I have an issue with breaking things) I paid 80 dollars for it. It's still hanging in there without a scratch. 💪 My sons 300 dollar iPhone got dropped once on soft flooring and never worked again. ✌️😂😂😂

  • @frankandstein8618
    @frankandstein8618 Місяць тому +39

    I'm beginning to think that tree frogs don't even migrate.

    • @sherinameless1618
      @sherinameless1618 Місяць тому +6

      I have a report on migrating tree frogs due tomorrow, and I was counting on Seth giving me the info I needed. Now I will just fail Science, and have to join the GOP. Thanks for nothing, Seth!

    • @starksandrecreation
      @starksandrecreation Місяць тому +6

      Top results on the goog are about Ya Burnt, below that there’s only one source that indicates they “migrate up to deep crevices as far as 12 m (39 ft) away from streams”
      so I guess if you count traveling the length of a school bus migrating 🤷‍♀️

    • @sparkythancztwise
      @sparkythancztwise Місяць тому +2

      😄

  • @seantlewis376
    @seantlewis376 Місяць тому +4

    I hope Wally gets a little bonus every time he is mentioned. He's as good as a sidekick.

  • @nelson-haha89
    @nelson-haha89 Місяць тому +2

    "Sounds like you need some tootaledge, because you're an onionbrain" this is going directly into my daily vernacular.

  • @jeremygregorio7472
    @jeremygregorio7472 Місяць тому +265

    Fun fact Trump fell asleep at the convention just like he did at his trial

    • @paulchamberlain8355
      @paulchamberlain8355 Місяць тому +25

      He was praying. 😂😂😂😂

    • @intheeyeofthebeholder
      @intheeyeofthebeholder Місяць тому +22

      Trump was the man arrested for falling asleep in the Taco Bell drive-through. 😴

    • @ClaudiaAnn-uk5dv
      @ClaudiaAnn-uk5dv Місяць тому +4

      LIE

    • @brenta2634
      @brenta2634 Місяць тому +14

      He's pulling a Sleepy Joe, now?

    • @Danny-lr1yg
      @Danny-lr1yg Місяць тому

      He was praying, something godless leftists know nothing about

  • @gaufqwi
    @gaufqwi Місяць тому +92

    CORRECTION: You forgot the "Sponsored by Apple" tag at the end of Ya Burnt.

    • @scottwebb7477
      @scottwebb7477 Місяць тому +36

      Right? Us lowly Samsung users couldn't possibly grasp what a screenshot is or how to video chat. That must only be available on the totally not overpriced and under powered iPhones. 🙄

    • @warrenmoore6435
      @warrenmoore6435 Місяць тому +24

      I thought I was the only one caught that bs, I've always owed android and have samsung phone and watch, definitely sponsored by Apple

    • @rvdb7363
      @rvdb7363 Місяць тому +19

      I didn't even know until this segment that Apple phones find it too difficult to properly handle texts from Android phones. I couldn't tell you who the Apple or Android users are in my group chats. My Android phone displays all of them in the colour scheme I selected.

    • @sparkythancztwise
      @sparkythancztwise Місяць тому

      @@rvdb7363 Thanks, I was wondering and you answered a question I asked on another thread.
      I never understood why or how the whole mocking thing over phones got started.
      And now it's quite a burn to find out that the ones who do the most mocking (that I've seen) are apparently the ones who are authentically ripe for it.
      So curious how (or if?) all these corrections the android users have made will come up on Thursday!

    • @johnnyhunter
      @johnnyhunter Місяць тому

      Do you need a tissue? It's a joke, bud.

  • @ALLENCEE4
    @ALLENCEE4 Місяць тому +2

    Seth was stalling getting to the swifties 😂 till conveniently “out of time”

  • @guyvizard549
    @guyvizard549 Місяць тому +4

    J.D. Vance always looks like he's going to his own bar mitzvah.

    • @chady77077
      @chady77077 Місяць тому +1

      He grew up poor, joined the army to protect American, believes in a good God, and is a Yale grad. Sounds like they won the lotto with him. Meanwhile Joe and Kamala are "professional politicians" they dont have any other skills except TAKING YOUR MONEY.

  • @thomastaipliadis8533
    @thomastaipliadis8533 Місяць тому +68

    Honestly, I am kind of disappointed that the stegosaurus joke didn't involve Nicholas Cage.

    • @LindaC616
      @LindaC616 Місяць тому +2

      Same!

    • @starksandrecreation
      @starksandrecreation Місяць тому +6

      Maybe he’s saving that joke for corrections?

    • @syniron6670
      @syniron6670 Місяць тому +1

      I did expect that.

    • @thomastaipliadis8533
      @thomastaipliadis8533 Місяць тому +4

      ​@@starksandrecreation well, the auction is this week, we have time until Thursday to make it to this week's Corrections, so there's still hope 🤞

  • @MikesOrganicVideos
    @MikesOrganicVideos Місяць тому +75

    Thank you for not blurring out or pixelating Seth ‘s extended middle fingers. I’ve always found that ridiculous.

    • @johnnyhunter
      @johnnyhunter Місяць тому +2

      Considering there's even a middle finger emoji on everyone's phones.

    • @staomruel
      @staomruel Місяць тому +1

      ​@johnnyhunter check out your hands 🙌

  • @Sofia.K.CheerYT
    @Sofia.K.CheerYT Місяць тому +3

    The buzz when he got to the Swifties 😂

  • @Alex-js5lg
    @Alex-js5lg Місяць тому +3

    Seth's night giggling sounds like Tucker Carlson laughing.

  • @razzledazzyl
    @razzledazzyl Місяць тому +99

    So JD Vance is Trump’s VP choice and will potentially have the ear of the next President? Funny, I didn’t even see him pick it up off that stage on Saturday.

    • @h0lly_blue
      @h0lly_blue Місяць тому +16

      he was an inch too short

    • @LetsTread
      @LetsTread Місяць тому

      The Heritage Foundation was behind the attempt. They were putting trump back in his place for trying to distance himself from it. Thats why he chose Vance too. He is a prisoner of his own cult now. Thats why he looks terrified.

    • @Kc-dq7zj
      @Kc-dq7zj Місяць тому +7

      😆😆💀

    • @sherinameless1618
      @sherinameless1618 Місяць тому +7

      Boo!
      Okay, it made me laugh, but still. . .

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Місяць тому +1

      👴🏻🥃 WEAR DUH WHITE WOMEN AT?

  • @kyusshead
    @kyusshead Місяць тому +14

    Android users just chuckle to ourselves like a knowing dad.
    IPhone = Duplos

  • @BenDenkBJVICEWORSCHT
    @BenDenkBJVICEWORSCHT Місяць тому +2

    Seths night giggling sounds like a Tucker Carlson laugh (does that mean he is a Night Tucker Carlson?)

  • @Batters56
    @Batters56 Місяць тому +2

    My brain genuinely went “Brunt?” When Seth said B U R N T

  • @lucylim5047
    @lucylim5047 Місяць тому +34

    Vote Diligently and Protect Our Country & Future of Our family!!!😊😊😊

  • @csheadtrip
    @csheadtrip Місяць тому +21

    Seth's cursed nightgiggling sounds like Tucker Carlson's laugh.

    • @LindaC616
      @LindaC616 Місяць тому +3

      I mean, is there anything creepier?

  • @sheilaking5608
    @sheilaking5608 Місяць тому +1

    Not me ready to fight at “Swifties” ….😂😂😂

  • @TheThirdPrice
    @TheThirdPrice Місяць тому +7

    Uh oh, jackals definitely use Android phones Seth

  • @guyvizard549
    @guyvizard549 Місяць тому +14

    J.D. Vance looks like a full-grown Cabbage-Patch Kid.

  • @JasonDeline
    @JasonDeline Місяць тому +74

    I'll never understand the iPhone owner rage against non-Apple phones.

    • @LindaC616
      @LindaC616 Місяць тому +11

      Me either. My first phone was a Galaxy s5, and if it had not been stolen, I am certain it would still be alive today. It once spent 40 minutes underwater and worked perfectly fine! I've had two or three since then that did not last as long as the five and every time I mention it, the sales people say with Nostalgia "yeah that was a really good phone...."

    • @JasonDeline
      @JasonDeline Місяць тому +2

      @@LindaC616 I had it too! The best!

    • @LindaC616
      @LindaC616 Місяць тому +2

      @@JasonDeline I still miss it! And I had a Lil Bub phone case on it too!

    • @Taurusus
      @Taurusus Місяць тому +28

      Is there something special about the way iPhones do a screencap that would make that joke make sense, or are Apple users so out of touch they think Android doesn't have that capability?

    • @zelgadis55tmnt35
      @zelgadis55tmnt35 Місяць тому +9

      Because it reminds them that they are paying extra for a status symbol because something else in their lives is a little too small for their liking XD

  • @Seasidecc95437
    @Seasidecc95437 Місяць тому +4

    1960’s former kid here…Sparklers USED to be EPIC…..but you youngsters will never know.

  • @jonathanraithel5726
    @jonathanraithel5726 Місяць тому +2

    Correction: medieval Scots did not paint their faces for battle. That was the Roman era Picts and Gaels in Scotland. The movie just added it for drama. So in reality, they have even less in common.

  • @gamepapa1211
    @gamepapa1211 Місяць тому +22

    Enn double-A double-U pee. "N A A W P." I hate that THAT took me awhile. Bravo, Seth! The Council of Jackals approves!

  • @reptilianoverlord418
    @reptilianoverlord418 Місяць тому +83

    The jokes with Wally are my favorite.

    • @Mister_Listener
      @Mister_Listener Місяць тому

      I am always slightly annoyed by them, lol.

  • @brandondavidson4085
    @brandondavidson4085 Місяць тому +2

    2:50 I really though the punchline was going to be "Nick Cage's toddler" or something

  • @phoenixluk
    @phoenixluk Місяць тому +2

    Saw Swifties at the end and was like, Nope no way Seth is that dumb

  • @1st2nd2
    @1st2nd2 Місяць тому +18

    The fossil joke was not another Nicholas Cage reference.
    I am shocked.

  • @riverreynolds9987
    @riverreynolds9987 Місяць тому +25

    I'm a professional clown, and I laughed out loud at that joke!🤡⭐💡🤡 Signed, Starlight the Clown, gvl, ga.

    • @LindaC616
      @LindaC616 Місяць тому +1

      I love you professionals, you don't get enough respect!
      But those Knights of Columbus guys are creepy.....

  • @luisfrau9810
    @luisfrau9810 Місяць тому +3

    I’m more and more convinced that Tantrump is as tired of being president as the country is tired of him. So, should he be elected, how soon can he resign and get a pardon from Vance.

  • @ttburn6338
    @ttburn6338 Місяць тому +2

    With JD on his side, Trump will never need toilet paper again.

  • @vanessawhitneypro
    @vanessawhitneypro Місяць тому +45

    This corn flower blue sweater is HEAVEN. Thank You for making Us laugh, Seth. Cheers to You and the Late Night Crew!

    • @TheThriftyWoodworker
      @TheThriftyWoodworker Місяць тому +2

      Yea a sweater when it’s 100 degrees out. Way to tell us your air conditioning is working.

    • @vanessawhitneypro
      @vanessawhitneypro Місяць тому +1

      @@TheThriftyWoodworker Studios should always be COLD... Especially for comedy.

    • @sparkythancztwise
      @sparkythancztwise Місяць тому +1

      I love hearing I wasn't the only one that was loving that sweater. Lots of his sweaters look super soft and comfy yet elegant.

    • @sparkythancztwise
      @sparkythancztwise Місяць тому

      This is weird, I went to cook a late dinner and now lots of comments are gone that were under other people's threads - I'd have sworn there were a couple others here under your comment earlier. I know some are missing on another, I recall them clearly and I replied to one directly and my comment with their tag is still there but all the other comments under the OP are gone. Color me confused.
      Oh, that's why I came back here, lol, color.
      Not to be argumentative, but we are jackals after all..... I'd call that blue slate or something. Isn't cornflower much more blue? Oh, LOL, I keep my laptop on night settings with the color distorted with *low* blue light and am so used to it I forget. Ah hahahahaha 😆 Now I have to switch it to see his sweater correctly!

  • @Darthplastic
    @Darthplastic Місяць тому +37

    I have been a silent jackal for far too long.
    iPhone users rave about basic quality of life upgrades that come trickling down when Android users have had them for almost 10 years.
    As The Godfather said in the Coppola Cut "Seth. You're my favorite late night host and I love you, but don't ever take sides with anyone against Android users again. YA BURNT!"

    • @JH-tz5hy
      @JH-tz5hy Місяць тому +11

      I feel like he's just trying to stir up some drama for Corrections material, I swear most jackals must be Android users

    • @sparkythancztwise
      @sparkythancztwise Місяць тому +2

      @@JH-tz5hy ding ding ding, we have a winner! Little to no doubt in between my jackal ears that you're spot on.

    • @sparkythancztwise
      @sparkythancztwise Місяць тому +1

      Love that you got to howling finally! 🐾🐾

    • @davidstevenson9986
      @davidstevenson9986 Місяць тому

      @@JH-tz5hy Most people with smart phones in general are Android users, it's better by every metric. Besides Apple is super evil and should be boycotted by anyone with basic decency.

  • @mathewbainbridge9508
    @mathewbainbridge9508 Місяць тому

    In the next surprise writer's inspection, you need to give the person who wrote the deuce joke a raise!😂

  • @heyheytaytay
    @heyheytaytay Місяць тому +2

    Vance had to use acetone to remove all that orange from his lips...

  • @russellknox5666
    @russellknox5666 Місяць тому +37

    Night giggling = Tucker Carlson laugh

    • @pollytiks3885
      @pollytiks3885 Місяць тому +3

      And now I will have nightmares. 😱

    • @ytgytgy
      @ytgytgy Місяць тому +3

      @@pollytiks3885 you've been night-giggled

  • @lyndscar7693
    @lyndscar7693 Місяць тому +30

    My god, unhinged Seth makes me so happy. Best part of my day.

  • @mikevanderman2727
    @mikevanderman2727 Місяць тому

    Jajajajajaja that's how we talk in Nicaraguan English creole: "Hey yu memba da time?" (Hey, do you remember that time?)

  • @vickiep4217
    @vickiep4217 Місяць тому +3

    Tennis scores were once based on clock faces, so it was 45, 60. Now, I think (corrections here please!) when they stopped using the clock face, it was still classed as '60', but became 40 instead of 45.
    This could be classed as a 1/2 correction, but I'm sure you'll get full ones!

    • @ruthmcfadden4702
      @ruthmcfadden4702 Місяць тому

      Also, if they’re tied at 40 (deuce) it goes to “advantage” if the server wins the next point it’s called “ad-in” and if the non server get the point it’s “ad-out” whoever has advantage has to score next to win the game otherwise it goes back to deuce. What’s so hard to understand about that? 😅

    • @vickiep4217
      @vickiep4217 Місяць тому +1

      @@ruthmcfadden4702
      I know they bought in advantage wtc to avoid even scores/ ties. That worked out well!
      Lets not mention to Seth cricket and the duckworth lewis stern method. That would make his head explode 😡

    • @ruthmcfadden4702
      @ruthmcfadden4702 Місяць тому

      @@vickiep4217 good call haha. We gotta ease him in to stuff like that 😅😅😅

    • @DrWhom
      @DrWhom Місяць тому

      zero is love, apparently from l'oeuf - the egg, an oval shape, like a zero

    • @Eileen.Nunya.Bizz1
      @Eileen.Nunya.Bizz1 Місяць тому

      Thanks for this.

  • @DennisMoore664
    @DennisMoore664 Місяць тому +23

    J.D. Vance - so much for unity.

    • @wendyharvey6417
      @wendyharvey6417 Місяць тому +1

      @@DennisMoore664 Exactly!

    • @freedom4063
      @freedom4063 Місяць тому +1

      Read he's very bad ?😢

    • @sharongarrett4356
      @sharongarrett4356 Місяць тому

      White male unity

    • @DennisMoore664
      @DennisMoore664 Місяць тому +1

      @@freedom4063 Very very

    • @freedom4063
      @freedom4063 Місяць тому

      @@DennisMoore664 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏I'm confused why Trump picked JD ?? I GOOGLED HIM AND I'M TERRIFIED 😨 he better not be against Trump

  • @michaellombardi1620
    @michaellombardi1620 Місяць тому +78

    Theres more similarities to Trump and Mel Gibson than there is Braveheart

    • @brenta2634
      @brenta2634 Місяць тому +7

      This

    • @timd729
      @timd729 Місяць тому +2

      Mel Gibson = Braveheart = Trump. How hard is this to understand?

    • @gmun2248
      @gmun2248 Місяць тому +5

      ​@@timd729
      'Braveheart' = William Wallace, a real person in history & a freedom fighter for Scotland. Your comment ignores history. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
      Also, we really dislike trump over here, & we still sing about William Wallace in our national anthem.

    • @timd729
      @timd729 Місяць тому +1

      @@gmun2248 Braveheart, despite being a real person was also a movie with Mel Gibson. It wasn't exactly historically accurate. Great movie similar to gladiator with Russell crowe. Mel Gibson is the William Wallace people know, that's why people make so many memes and references to that movie. So William Wallace = Mel Gibson. Forget about the original William Wallace, History doesn't know all that much about him.

    • @gmun2248
      @gmun2248 Місяць тому

      @timd729
      I live less that a mile from 'Wallace's Cave' in Midlothian. It's a major attraction. I grew up going on school trips to Stirling Castle and Bannockburn.
      As I said, Scotland's national anthem is literally about that time ("...Proud Edward's army/ Sent them homewards/ Tae think again.")
      Try telling any Scottish person people don't know that history.
      🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

  • @EFTanker
    @EFTanker Місяць тому

    I haven’t heard people grunting over a deuce like that since I was in line for the chipotle restaurant bathroom 🤣🤣🤣

  • @myfriendgoo2816
    @myfriendgoo2816 Місяць тому +1

    When I saw "Swifties" at the last position on the list, I knew that had to be the joke.

  • @dustinsmith93
    @dustinsmith93 Місяць тому +12

    Apple recently rebranded the Notes App as a Password Manager. Bruh, you can try and shade Samsung but anyone who is stuck with an iPhone in 2024 prolly drives a cyber truck.

    • @C2C.
      @C2C. Місяць тому +1

      😂

  • @erf3176
    @erf3176 Місяць тому +66

    Vance meant the Hitler thing as a compliment.

    • @calinasagilitypartner4444
      @calinasagilitypartner4444 Місяць тому

      Trump absolutely 100% wants to be more infamous than Hitler.

    • @johnnyhunter
      @johnnyhunter Місяць тому +2

      He certainly did not, but Trump may very well be taking it as one.

  • @mina-iq9pq
    @mina-iq9pq Місяць тому +1

    Trump knows how to choose a Man
    He just doesn’t choose an Apple because it’s Red
    He choose the Apple because it’s Delicious to eat 😂

  • @MsBuceo
    @MsBuceo Місяць тому +1

    Surprised the dinosaur skeleton wasn't a chance for a nic cage impression

  • @erikg8526
    @erikg8526 Місяць тому +19

    Seth the Samsung Galaxy S4 came out 11 years ago and it still has more features than your iPhone.

  • @diegojines-us9pc
    @diegojines-us9pc Місяць тому +20

    trump didnt pick him. he picked her, his wife who clerked for 2 of trumps supreme court judges,
    and anyone votes for trump. this JR senator will become the head of the senate if they win, two newbies running things in DC.

    • @alrightyru
      @alrightyru Місяць тому +1

      THIS 👆 ..Vance's wife!

    • @karenlebeter4196
      @karenlebeter4196 Місяць тому

      If DJT steps out of line, he will be declared with Dementia. Then J D Vance gets to be Prez.

  • @mattrobinson973
    @mattrobinson973 Місяць тому

    Wally is such an interesting character. Like he’s by far the most famous cue card man in the history of the world but that’s also an incredibly niche thing lol

  • @aaroncrilly2005
    @aaroncrilly2005 Місяць тому +201

    Picking JD Vance will be a decision that Trump will regret.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Місяць тому +1

      👴🏻🥃 SOOO HOWS YO MOTHER DOIN?

    • @DSAK55
      @DSAK55 Місяць тому +8

      you think Trump may meet an unforeseen "event" ?

    • @MsWarriordiva
      @MsWarriordiva Місяць тому +6

      We won't. It will lose trumpian votes!! 😅

    • @johnrhodes5914
      @johnrhodes5914 Місяць тому +19

      Why?? JD Vance has proven he will kowtow to trump. The guy has absolutely no self respect.

    • @oldschoolman1444
      @oldschoolman1444 Місяць тому

      A lot of maga don't like JD's America borne wife of Indian decent.

  • @SpaceForceCommander
    @SpaceForceCommander Місяць тому +19

    Tim Scott went to all the trouble of proposing to a woman on a beach with a photographer present for nothing (mainly to dispel rumors of being similar to Lindsey Graham). No refunds, Tim!

    • @sigil8386
      @sigil8386 Місяць тому +4

      At least he's now allowed to "break up" with her.

    • @SpaceForceCommander
      @SpaceForceCommander Місяць тому +3

      @@sigil8386 And she can move back to Canada.

    • @sparkythancztwise
      @sparkythancztwise Місяць тому

      What rumors? Is there a rumor that Lindsey Graham only got married to advance his political career decades ago?

    • @Eileen.Nunya.Bizz1
      @Eileen.Nunya.Bizz1 Місяць тому +1

      ​@@SpaceForceCommanderThe Niagara Falls area 🤣!

  • @toecutter4335
    @toecutter4335 Місяць тому

    I don't understand how anybody can complain about Night Giggling. Sounds Awesome! 😂

  • @anthonydomoracki4850
    @anthonydomoracki4850 Місяць тому +2

    Really hope Seth gets ahold of the clip of Rudy from the convention

  • @jimmyfuhrman407
    @jimmyfuhrman407 Місяць тому +16

    Seth would make a great Secretary of State!

  • @razzledazzyl
    @razzledazzyl Місяць тому +90

    Wally would never!

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Місяць тому +1

      👗⬅️ YOURS?

    • @YearsinSeason
      @YearsinSeason Місяць тому +10

      Wally is no dummy! Money up front, no questions.

    • @sherinameless1618
      @sherinameless1618 Місяць тому +4

      @@YearsinSeason I saw Wally's ad in Variety: "Freelance Cue Card Man for hire. Your words on cards for $1 a letter - no judgement. References will not be provided, as my current employer is not cool."

  • @necrophobya
    @necrophobya Місяць тому

    Very nice indirect shoutout to Kimmel with the adult colouring book burning

  • @paulacoyle5685
    @paulacoyle5685 Місяць тому

    Ok Seth needs to now have a segment where a birdwatcher takes him bird watching

  • @JamesMattJohn
    @JamesMattJohn Місяць тому +45

    Correction: You said Sudoku wrong

    • @ch20youk
      @ch20youk Місяць тому +3

      Between this and harakiri, Japanese really isn't Seth's strong suit 😛

    • @talyzara
      @talyzara Місяць тому +2

      I wanted to comment the same 😂 I'm sure he knew this was going to be on corrections 0,1 seconds after he said it

  • @SpaceForceCommander
    @SpaceForceCommander Місяць тому +19

    Political ads against Trump come from "J.P. Mandell" (a.k.a. J.D. "Mascara" Vance) himself.

    • @LetsTread
      @LetsTread Місяць тому +1

      The Heritage Foundation was behind the attempt. They were putting trump back in his place for trying to distance himself from it. Thats why he chose Vance too. He is a prisoner of his own cult now. Thats why he looks terrified.