I made out of narcissism, and trust me, it is incredibly painful. At the time I had no idea that I was a narcissist. I honestly thought I was the good guy and people just didn't see how much I did for them. Then when I can out of it by giving myself permission to love myself I saw how everything I did was self serving and how it actually hurt the people around me. I also remember how nice it was to finally just enjoy the experience of life without looking for self-validation in everything. Every thing Teal says in this video is on the mark.
I have found (in my professional career as a divorce mediator) the most challenging narcissists are those who were rejected and abandoned as infants - not necessarily belittled as children, but abandoned at a very primal level. In understanding these "adults" are like infants filled with fear of abandonment and that they feel their very survival depends upon sucking energy from others, it at least helps to gain an understanding of their suffering. It is difficult though to watch them create situations where they are repeatedly abandoned - the self-fulfilling prophecy. Sadly, no amount of love can fill a cup full of holes and the holes do need to heal from the inside out.
Yeah boo hoo and all but narcissist's can all drop dead and I'd watch with pleasure. They literally destroy your soul and any belief about yourself that was good, tear you down and traumatize you for their own pleasure.
@@sammyrizzo1199 i agree i was emotionally abandoned i play the empath role also scapegoat when i was little and have borderline traits either way i feel what others feel i blame myself constantly and i am on edge all the time, narcissists have it freaking easy in comparison!
So then use liquid latex in the cup so it coats the holes evenly, and transforms the cup at the same time! Working with the original cup shape, & improving the cup full of holes :) There is always a way to heal (not hide,) & GROW (not "change," & conform to something you don't align with,) but unfortunately, all this hate & the way society is structured, people have difficulty ALLOWING & HELPING others to heal. It is hard to wrap one's head around this concept -and it all comes back to money/fear, (same. thing) Personally, I don't like it. So, why not change or evolve the cup?
my husband attacked me spraining my neck after l asked for a divorce. he now rolls his eye's when i'm in intense pain, crying. .he even went soo far as to say he barely touched me and i'm fakeing it for sympathy. a narcissist can kill you quite easily and then blame you for it. l don't care about his childhood problems he chose to be a bad person period. my life, and limbs are more important than my marriage.they have zero empathy. scary people. the more unconditional love l gave him the more he hated me.
I am not sure that in this situation you gave him unconditional love. First because to love someone unconditionally you have to love youself too, which is not something that you did. You decided to stay with him for his healing sake, although you knew he won't be good to you in any sense, which literally means that you betrayed yourself for a cause, that you at the time thought was good, when in fact was giving a lot more trauma on the top of the trauma he was giving you. You can't help someone that is hurting you so bad and you are in pain because of him, because your resistence is stopping you. And it will always stop you, because it doesn't want you to betray yourself. At this point you really needed to forget about his pain and focus on yourself, because of what I see, you were in a lot of pain. Eventually, this person will change ot you'll be attracted to someone more beneficial to you. Hope you are okay today ♥
a minor quibble: Narcissus from Greek mythology falls in love with his reflected image... he isn't loving himself, he's loving his false-self. i think that's the correct interpretation, in my opinion, anyway...
Words_Are_Wind that’s the ‘myth’ that created the misconception. Anyone that’s been through NPD will understands that there is nothing ‘special’ about it.
These things must be clear: Narcissism is not self-love... Narcissism is love for self-image, and therefor lack of self-love... Being unselfish. is not the same as being selfless...
@@susanaferreira2076 - Thank you! They really love their self-image and hide their true-self. They don´t want to let you know what they think, what they feel...
My parents are narcissists and they've also made me one. I realised this when I got into a relationship with a really selfless guy. I could see how spoiled and selfish my behaviour was. Im trying to change that though. You said that narcissists dont watch these videos but those who want to become a better person do watch it.
I usually fall in love with narcissits (and never had a sigle relationship with them), I call them Angels, because only they can make me feel wounds I usually forget during my life. The wounds are deep inside ,they hurt like hell and make me feel like I am living in hell, I see the world like a nightmare which only death can escape. Panic attacks, sadness and desperation are permanent during the process. I usually want to die thinking this pain will never end. It's time for the operation. Like in a hospital I lie on my bed and I let my feelings guide me into the past. It takes days before having some sort of relief and I am nearly completely invalidated during the operation. But if I am strong enough to pass this I feel free, full of energy and will to live I feel renewed. I also discovered that my subconscious always wanted me to do this operations: in the week-end I usually got a headache which forces me to lie on a bed, I cannot eat nor drink, the day after I feel strong, full of love and ready to face everything. This means that even if we are self-sacrificer deep inside us there is always a part who loves us above all. This also means that our dark side is not only full of demons but also full af angels.
Id agree youre a tad over selfless but thats no criticism - many of us are. It would be better for us and the narcs - for us to be a smudge more selfish.
Came back to watch this video for a 3rd time. Learn something new every time. Very insightful. Hate the narcs all you want, the other person is still you. The more you blame them for the pain they cause you to inflict upon yourself (
I agree but it’s important to recognize truth because you can still be victimized and that’s real I’ve been a total coda my whole life and I’m very aware that I created it but the victimizing is still real xo
@@abigailestherrobinson2204 its real when u continue playing the game of victimhood they dont want to be the villain eaither so if u step out of this role every thing will end here
Blame isn’t the same as acknowledging that person is dangerous. It’s never ok to abuse people, I’m not a child abuser and never will be so no we’re not the same.
Ehh I don't know you don't normally realize you attracted and found a narc based on how you are, and even if you run they can still make your life a living hell they need you to be the victim as fuel for their ego
I was diagnosed with NPD. I was in shame over that because a lot of what I did was isolate after needing people and them feeling great about helping me out. Then I would isolate and shut them all out. This caused a boat load of hurt feelings including my wife of 40 years. I have an ACE score of 7 so I get that. But Teal Swan has made it sound like I have a challenge and not am diseased. I will go to hell for my isolation and I live a very lucky existence that I have my wife and kids and they still love me!!! Thanks for the best advice I have gotten from a therapy type person in this video.
This helped me make sense of my covert narc ex. I offered unconditional love but it still didn’t work. I was self sacrificing. The unhealed trying to heal the unhealed. Wow! 🤯
The real problem is when the ego eclipses the spirit. The result is that one will not see all humans as one spirit. The egoist sees others as separate from himself. The egoist is lonely, insecure, selfish and miserable. But when the spirit eclipses the ego, one sees all humans as one so practicing the golden rule is easy; wanting for others what he wants for himself. When spirit is above ego, spirit meets with the heart and one becomes truly human. When ego is above spirit, one becomes a devil.
this was painfully helpful. i feared that i was a narcissist and after watching this i can say that although i am definitely not one, i do have some tendencies toward both narcissism and also self-sacrificing behaviors. the fact that i am becoming aware of these polarities within me i think should make me gravitate closer to balance. thank you so much teal. you are indeed the mother fucking spiritual catalyst. more than that, a spiritual catapult.
Same exact thing with me I have those tendicies and self sacrifing behaviors but I never had the grandious personality I have extreme shame and low self esteem and chronic anxiety and I’m introverted but before I had these tendencies I was extremely extraverted and felt like everyone was equal that’s why when I heard of narsism I would laugh because it’s obviously a symptom of horrible self worth the superiority and levels that they view them selfs is a defect corelatiom to there very low self worth so that’s why I think I’m not I also come to my true self sometimes even though it can. Feel scary but I think what I’m really dealing with is unhealed things and lack of self love for so long and my false self I put that’s why I was an amazing artist and now I havnt made art in 6 months
obviously, you are well meaning, Teal. I am highly sensitive and was married to a narc. I do disagree that it is okay to be a narcissist because these people are truly dangerous. I know what they are doing and they meant to destroy you. I do feel sorry for a person who has a mental disorder but not at the expense of the innocent. there is no help for them and there is no cure because they think they are perfect and I would tell anyone to avoid a narcissist if you want to have alive because I had mine taken away. it is taking much time and healing and therapy to get over what was taken from me. I just would not classify a narc as anything but a predator.
This! Its not always OUR faults like this video presents. I been in traumabonds and THAT WAS WHAT BINDED ME TO THE NARC. Not my damn inner wounds. Inner wounds are there after being traumabonded to psychopaths amd malignant narcisissts yes ,but they are known to me and not being something of a block that i put on myself for learning to heal my wounds. The damger is traumabond. If youre like me, never had parents teachimg you about the wolfs in sheeps clothing (and they both being this wolf in sheep clothing) then your empathy will make you fall in traps and may leave you traumabonded. My narc magnet syndrome dissapeared as fog to the sun as soon as I learned about what the wolves do inside their costumes. I was gaslighted as a kid as to "whats a wolf and whats a lamb". So while Teal make a good point here she doesnt cover it good enough, but what she says we can all benefit from regardless. What i mean is important here is to mention the ppl like me. The sensitive ones who are just easy to fool and traumabond, because isolation and gaslight have been our "teachers" in childhood . Yes we are filled with unconditional love, but we are so kind and loving that if we get lonely we can be duped and a traumabond may form and then its a hell and too late. I learned finally to watch my step and to finally see who is the monster pretending to be angel. Im very safe from all harm if i just use my inner compass to discern instead of listening to a new traumabond. And yes- being predisposed for traumabonds are something a lot of us sensitives are
@@itb7439Others generally treat us how we feel about ourselves. We’ll attract and are attracted to people who treat us how we feel about ourselves. Otherwise a person wouldn’t put up with them or stay with them. Btw Teal has other videos elaborating on the topic further, not just this one.
Teal doesn’t see it as a mental disorder. She has other videos elaborating further. By the way we attract and choose people who treat us how we feel about ourselves. Wouldn’t put up with it otherwise. Some do seek therapy if something huge happens which shakes their world and also their behaviour isn’t benefiting them anymore or with the people they want it to influence.
The truth is narcs are in a lot of pain if u were in that much pain who knows what u would do my point is love is the answer to everything if we are hating we are propagating the problem. Protecting yourself with healthy boundaries is crucial to dealing with a narc but bashing them and talking trash about them only makes them and you sicker.
Hate is a feeling. Feeling is healthy. Therefore it's unhealthy to suppress hate. HOWEVER. Acting on the feeling of hate might not be a good idea. Feeling and behaviour are two different things. It's ok to hate. But it's not necessarily ok to behave hatefully. Very important to make a distinction in that, especially in this community.
I think this video just described my entire life. I'm not a narcisist but a sacrificing selfless person. Two of my family members are narcisists and is incredible how well you described them and our relationship. I guess I always thought I was the less bad one but turns out we are the same only opposite. I loved your video, it gave a lot of insight and I will follow your advice, thank you Teal!
the issue of "worthless-ness" is the key to understanding the dynamic between narcissists and those magnetized towards them... as Teal said, to paraphrase, it's not self-love that makes them act so badly, it's self-hate...
Wow!! You hit a nerve on this one!!! I have repressed those feelings forever, and now the tear gates are over flowing!! And noticed this is what I’ve been searching for all my life, acceptance
Thank you Teal for being one of so few teachers of this subject that doesn't shove the narcissists into the categories of "evil" and "non-changing" or "forever doomed". They are a gift to the collective, as everything is, although they are not often perceived as such. Although it is painful to experience the abuse of narcissism.. it is the very thing that intends to put the power of self-love back into the hands of the "victims" of the abuse. Narcissists are the manifestation of the subconscious pain in us all. It is easy to claim victimhood to their ways and label humans with disorders and that's that, but it is easier to reclaim the power of self-love that only we were ever designed to give ourselves. May we all be blessed with an abundance of self-love and authenticity.
my mom had read an article about narcissists & immediately told me that I was one! That all signs pointed to me. I was livid & appalled!! we argued for a good hr or so & I just ended up walking away. Just saw this video & Damn. I resonated with this video so much, but sometimes I feel like im constantly dating narcissists making me the opposing one. I definitely need & want some healing to take place!
Thank you so much Teal. As a survivor of severe child abuse and after 17 years of being married to a covert narcissist (who also had a very sad childhood), this is the first explanation of narcissism that really rings true and resonates with me. I'm still with my narc but am on the brink of leaving him. As a co-dependent woman, it's such a hard decision to leave him cause I feel compassion for what he went through and I don't want to hurt him further. At the same time, I have nothing left to give. I feel completely drained of life. And I also see the damage it's causing our 2 boys. I finally see that I need to heal from my childhood trauma and the trauma of the past 17 years with my husband. It does feel selfish on my part, wanting to finally take care of myself. But people like you and Ross Rosenberg have really helped me to see past the blinders. Thank you, from all that I am, for helping people like me see that there is so much more to life than this never ending cycle of pain. Much love, Tamera
Wow I’m only just reading this and I’m curious to know did you leave? I understand the feelings of compassion & empathy. I’m wanting to heal a partner to only knew for 2 months!! Guess that means we are healed or close enough ☺️
The 'starving child' metaphor is wrapping itself around my heart, and makes so much sense in this context. It's amazing how many powerful opportunities this video presents so succintly. Many blessings.
I consider myself somewhat of an addict when it comes to videos about narcissism. But wow, what an absolutely beautiful discription that made me understand the personality problem so much better. Well done and thank u.
This explains why for the past 24 years between two women, I was always drained of energy. You explained my life. Always tired, my mind jumbled. Thank you for this explanation.
Really appreciate the bravery she embodies to reject standard philosophies about so much in life. So refreshing to hear the truth behind the standard explanations. This video is an incredible eye-opener for me 🎯💯🎯
I attracted narcissists, and at the other end of the spectrum, I also likely sidestepped or rejected people who are not. This video is glaringly clear about the truth of narcissism. I cannot elaborate on its significance other than suggesting to watch it over and over again. This is my second or third time watching it after maybe a year and I see it entirely differently.
This describes my relationship with my Partner for the last 23 yrs ! I definitely am the giver! As I been healing I see less and less of hi,. Which is a good thing because it means I am healing . Teal you are AWESOME, So much insite was allowed through this video
I have watched countless videos about narcissists and never fully understood it like I do now. after watching your AMAZING video Teal ❤ …. thank you 🙏 I’ve been waiting for so long for this, the healing can finally begin ❤
*HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE* My favorite quote. This vid gave me some intense and extreme clarity on so many things about my past and my life. Thank u so much Teal!
I completely understand the damage narc behavior can cause. With that said, the problem of the narc to begin with is that they (whether they know it or not) have the core belief that there is something wrong with them. That's why they create hell for everyone around them. ATTENTION ALL NARCS: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!! And for those who think they're dealing with a narc, it's time to approach the situation with more curiosity, introspection, and gratitude. The narc is a huge gift to you! It doesn't mean let them ruin you. Take the opportunities as they come to let the triggers guide you. Trace them. Untangle yourself. The pain they cause you doesn't reside in the present. It is old pain and the narc is helping you see it so you can let it go. Good luck.
good video thanks. I think the problem is that assuming you can offer them unconditional love, it won't be enough and you will end up depleted and totally burnt out. I did try it but it's like trying to fill a bottomless pit. narcissism is tragic for everyone involved.
Thank you Ms. Swan. I unfortunately believe life & I have created a narcissistic child/adult, she's 21 now. We have had a large amount of death and trauma in our family and now feel as though WE are all WE have, so it feeds this, over and over again. We are miserably attached...I'll keep watching...I'm determined to heal hopefully the both of us. Thank you very much!
Detective K: There could be a host of reasons why someone would try to hurt you. However, underhanded and mean behavior is not a good sign regardless of who's at fault. Could it have been something you did or said? Sure. But the correct way to respond to that would be to discuss it with your rationally. If you're not getting that respect (regardless what may have happened), then the person is just not good news.
They are worse bc you spend a much longer time trying to convince yourself that they have the your best interests at heart bc they keep lying and lying and pretending to be good and caring
Loving thyself is the golden rule with gratefullness in nature and its course. Being prideful of your love and truth is undeniable and cannot be touched. But admitting your ignorances and humbling yourself to fix your issues is the first step towards growth and spiritual evolution. Damn im proud of myself to admit when im wrong!! Takes strength! Damn world, I am good and getting better, watch and learn**
'a narcissist is a reflection of the unhealed parts within ourselves' I've been saying this for ages. The so-called 'empath' is as bad (or worse) than the narcissist. Both are self absorbed. So many 'empaths' claiming a 'narcisist' ruined their life. Whenever I've mentioned that perhaps it was vibrationally, emotionally, attitude-wise something within them that attracted the 'narcisist' .. and perhaps they are better off taking responsibility for their part, I've almost always been called a 'true narcissist'. Realize, we attract based on where we are at in our own healing, growth, self worth. Empaths seem to stay stuck and always blame. Victim mentality drains so much energy from others and can literally turn people's lives up side down when these people feel so hard done by, they run to the authorities or use the system against the alledged offender. I'm way more cautious of those who are self proclaimed 'empaths', than those who own their narcissism.
Stumbled upon this video. Have read about and watched a number of videos regarding narcissism. This one is hands down the best I've seen on the topic. I wish everyone understood the importance of unconditional self-love, and setting and honoring healthy personal boundaries.
its been one year dating a narc and at the end of all the drama we had a baby boy. now that everything has come to light. the denial gone and now im here. wow... and i thought before meeting him i had healed that aspect of myself through meditation and study.. i learned the hard way.. time to heal!
You are fabulous Teal, and this lecture is fresh genius. You dont go on and on, and there is no whitewashing here. I love the clarity you bring to difficult subjects, and in that, the hope for healing of these conditions created by a stuck and toxic civilisation that wants us all the conform to the totality of wasted emotional pain that can be turned about when we open to the open road of life, that gift of self love we often miss at the crossroads.
Holy shit. I cannot believe how much this kinda describes me and how it really describes my father. Ever since about 7th grade I've had this subconscious belief that the world is against me and I can't let my guard down. I was extremely sensitive, even the smallest jokes would offend me and make me feel abandoned. Basically, narcissists view the world as a win/loss, survival of the fittest, every man for himself place. These people may seem like assholes, but at their core is an extreme lack of love.
I find that when those around you start sounding like that negative, doubtful, angry, little voice in your head you have always hated that it's the biggest red flag out there. Implied superiority in their words is another subtle sign.
I appreciate your reply. I feel the same way about this video. I just immediately was reminded of my relationship to my mom. All the times she made me out to be willfull. All the times i was needy. I didnt get her. She hated me. She was a single parent. I was abandoned. I was called a brat selfish selfish selfish. Now im even worse than then. Regardless this is an extremely balanced view that i agree with. Shes mapped out my life.
@@flashoflight9175 same with you my mom never loved me and made me feel bad for my presence. I feel so empty on the inside, like i am screwed for ever and can not repair myself anymore. I have also a question, did she made you be the best at school and everything while denying your true self and emotions and needs ? That is what she did to me ...
This woman is so beautiful and articulate. I cant stop listening to her speak. Im captivated by her face and taught by her intelligence. This is a smart woman who is a womderful speaker. Thank you for the videos and im greatful for you.
From a scientific and psychological standpoint, no one can make us feel any given way in which we feel only we can do that. Especially if given the notion that we create our own emotions
One of my parents is narcisist, but its ok, we choose our parents even before we are born, so I chosed it for a reason, even though it could be hard but it gave me a lot of experience that helped me to learn myself, but I do spend a lot of energy on trying to build a bond between us, and that can be disopointing at times
Olenea Z i was raised by my grandparents..... When i finally met my biiligical mother she turned out to be a narcicist and gave me hell....wich is fine cuz i learned a lot like your said but i noticed she bragged a lot about how she destroyed other peoples lifes so i realized i was playing with fire......when i took my daughter to me her at 2 years old she did something wicked...and that was it...i will never speak to her again.
Olenea Z was it worth it? Have same problem, and wondering should you leave narcisists alone, its big risk to help, but there must be the way without you burn out...
I like how she cuts through a lot of the new age dumb beliefs. so many things like selflessness, and non ego beliefs, ego is here to stay , were human. you can control it up to a point, but in the end you need it.
It's as if most the people in the comments didn't even listen to the video or something, they hear one thing that disagrees with their previous world view and boom deaf to the rest of what's being presented. Might be better to listen to the entire video before even bothering to formulate a blocking opinion.
TehKhronicler i listened to entire video. when she said there's nothing wrong with narcissism? i knew she was not aware of the damage real narcs cause behind them.
Narcissists are very cruel cold hateful damaging entities I live with one she threw our baby son on the concrete in his sleep then turned and smirked at me she then called the police and lied that I pushed her they locked me in a jail for over a year while this child abuser retains full custody of my son to this day. I never thought a woman could hurt a innocent baby let alone her own I have come to learn she is a man hater and very twisted haughty and vulgar words cannot explain the antics and methods they employ to destroy innocent unsuspecting souls.
Todd Howard You completely misunderstood everything. It’s pretty damn obvious what message she’s bringing: Yes narcissists are destructive and dangerous but this is a defense mechanism which means it’s not a personality disorder, it means that it is a interpersonality disorder. So, Narcissism is a natural effect by this much lack of self worth. Narcissists project their painful feelings onto you so that they can feel better (but not permanently), that’s why they’re so manipulative. So the way out for them is the same as PTSD, there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re poor, but don’t mess with them either because their false-self can be dangerous.
My narcissistic "mother" abandoned a two and a four year old with a stressed out man going through a divorce. Also those narcissists forced their selfless beliefs on me. At one point one has to be responsible for their actions. I was a child and I did not have a choice to be tortured with guilt of caring for myself. My needs weren't necessary, never-mind my wants. I have no compassion for these narcissistic people who refuse to take responsibility for their situation. I went through worse yet I am not a bully. Also love was very limited in supply but I was 5 so who's the fault. There are narcissist that I have compassion for and are sort of friends with but they at least love their child and take care so that they end the cycle. That child will be loved more in a day than I was in 2 decades. my mother continued the cycle and I blame the judge who let her legally abandon 2 infants when she obviously needed mental help. I deal with this everyday, i dealt with low self esteem all my life and I was told DONT BE SELFISH everyday. oh I also blame the jehovahs witnesses
Narcissists are draining and taxing on my energy. They have no regard for anyone elses feelings concerns or ideas. They are not good friends to have. Unless you like to feel drained and have someone make you feel crappy day in and day out.
In the world of addiction recovery the narcissist is the addict. Your description of the narcissist described my past to a “T”. I have, great-fully, evolved from that point after much Spiritual work. The “one who lives with” the narcissist is the co-addict. Thanks Teal To comment readers, Of course this is all about words and symbols to convey Spiritual Truths. Keeping this in mind is important to maintaining growth, and not to get caught up in semantics (lexical or conceptual), which is a way of dodging these truths. I have found it is important to recognize the need to stay open when interpreting Life.
I came to your site due to a video that was shared on FB which was about parent/s who treat their children as Dolls. I could relate. I appreciated your perspective. You have also nailed it on Narcissism. You're the person I wish I would have ran into when I was 20. Pretty and intelligent. Thank-you.
Its very important to after healing from a narc is to never become like one as those ppl really dedicated to taking you off the reality itself so they would remain innocent
Thank you so much Teal! I think there is a big misconception what narcissism out there. From a personal story I had a very difficult time developing self worth but I did it regardless. I was always working very hard in every single aspect of my life. I was proud of many things in my life as a result of that. But because me building this basis on self worth got me to withdraw from family activities or dinners etc I was always called selfish, my entire life. I was confused why, and what I was doing wrong if I was fullfilled with joy and love inside, I was deeply happy. However, I kept that message inside. When I had a massive breakup I started to think there was something wrong with me. It was exactly as you pointed out: if they can't find this unconditional love they feel the world is out to catch them. I started to think I was a bad person, that I was selfish and wrong as my parents always told me so. So I decided to "pay" my karma - or whatever. By watching other videos of Narcisism I though that the deep self love I built, the will power, work ethic etc was the problem, that focusing on myself I hurt other people. I decided to give up on taking care of myself, of my personal life, for the sake of others. One year later, I find my self in the most empty and painful space of my life, and then I found your videos. This is amazingly perfect. I thought deep self love was narcisism and ran away from it, but now I know the pain that real Narcisism is. It is as you said, the opposite of self love. It is fullfilled with self hate to a point you hurt everyone around you on purpose, this is true selfishness. Now I understand it all
Namaste Teal. I am praying for you. I see your pain and i respect the journey you have chosen to take. We must have darkness here as well as us with light. I learned many years ago that souls such as yourself have chosen this darker path as a way to help humanity. I see it as a catalyst. We are all here for a purpose.
100% accurate i realised i was a narc after i dated a covert narc who literally destroyed me and it was that trauma that pain that led me to teal 6 years later i have watched hundreds of youtube videos on narcissism done by highly educated psychologists and none of them explain it as well as teal does. Bless!
Follow up, a year later: I believe we all attract those in our lives that are meant to either share with us, teach us something & for us to help them learn something. The way I see it is if I have to associate myself with those whom are narcissistic, I don't have to be like them. I don't allow these types of people to drain me of my positive energy. The way I handle it is I KNOW myself, I KNOW I'm a good person. I cannot control the people that come into my life, especially when I deal with different people all day. I react towards them with positive reflection & vibration. No matter what they say or how they say it I've learned to let the negatives go & only allow the positive feedback from these people be apart of my feelings. We cannot control the personalities of others. We can only reflect how we feel within ourselves.
That is the most incredible victim mentality that excuses staying with a narc... why are you doing that to yourself? Please find a good therapist; guaranteed you will find yourself so much happier and healthier in a years time. I promise. Do not listen to this woman, she is a lying narc who is only promoting herself... everythign she says is lies. Look up the videos by qualified educated professionals... she is NOT one.
Your video on "self love", indeed helps allot with the process in understanding narcissism, dealing with it and working through some of the qualities a person might have that attract narcissists. Find it very applicable to my life, so thank you Teal xxx
It's okay to empathize with narcissists, understand why they are the way they are, and extend a certain level of compassion to them. However, there is no excuse for the damage narcissists cause, and if you think you can love someone out of hating themselves, you can't. The more you extend compassion and understanding to them, the more they will take advantage until they heal. You can understand why someone is the way they are and still draw boundaries and not choose to play into their games. (Esepcially bc playing into their games and giving emotional reactions is what they thrive off of.)
I know they are mostly very hurt People but they can sure destroy others lives. WOW and they drain you of your life force if you let them or dont know how to delal with them.
Wow. She said unconditional love is the way to help the narcissist. By being unconditionally loving you are linearly healing yourself and the narcissist. In order to unconditionally love, you must resolve your innermost preconceptions about who you are and be accepting and loving of your real self. Thank you so much Teal Swan
like the last video, the best way to deal with narcissism, is be honest, being nice accomplishes nothing, because you teach them nothing, if they don't know, they will never know, of course, you will be "accused" of not being nice, but you can simply reply, "i try not to be nice" and explain the reason why, not necessarily to them, but to a 2nd person version of them, say " i am not talking to you, i am talking out loud" or you can speak to them indirectly, by simply making you or someone else the example, doing this enables them to think about what you said, to question the reason as to "why" you said this, i do this all the time, it works for me in my "world", i can be honest with everything simply by making myself the example, essentially, what i am saying about myself is essentially what i am saying about you, likewise, if i hear someone speaking about others, it is self-reflection, when this happens i tend to have my own self-reflection, wanting to make this person aware, they are talking about themselves, but i don't, due to this duality consciousness, they will just contradict what i say, and nothing will be learned, they already know what nothing is, since they are "spiritually dead"...thus the "enlightenment" must be created and not taught, otherwise you are simply destroying energy.
I have been scrolling through the comments and there is so much hate directed at narcisists in my opinion that is a huge part of propagating the disorder.
Megan Marie I agree... It's a shame that the 'support' for those who are traumatised by their experience seems to have been hijacked... I understand the feelings that the experience creates... They are horrible and very, very intense... but nobody benefits by demonising the other person.. in fact, as you suggest, it's the sense of isolation and separation which causes their destructive behaviours... creating a witch-hunt will only make them more defensive and dishonest and quicker to flee with no explanation... potentially creating more victims where they land! There's also the popular belief that they are beyond reproach because they have no emotional sensation of guilt or shame... but I don't think that's the case at all... Nor do I believe that these Narcissist/Empath relationships are necessarily doomed to inevitable failure... Rather that they are each a potential force for transformation and healing... It's just that the narcissist (I prefer the term, "Person" with the "Dismissive, Avoidant, Attachment Issues"!) usually runs when they feel vulnerable... which is their loss more than anyone else's... It isn't self serving on their part... it isn't even wilfulness or destructiveness,... it's compulsive and compulsions are definitely manageable... though it takes some work... Sadly in this age of self esteem boosting memes and slogans everywhere it's so easy for narcissistic people to gain active support from others by playing the role of someone who's on a self discovery mission and needs help finding the courage to break free... and find their true self, their calling etc...... even if they arrived, with all of the enthusiasm and self confidence that anyone could ever hope to have just a few months before, having left another town in that exact same scenario... People love to encourage and rarely question a chance to do so... If you mention to people that this is something they have a history of and have been doing the "starting a new life, following my heart..." self actualisation and empowerment routine for years and years... and they don't need that encouragement because they are not stuck but running from themselves... you'll find yourself suddenly very unpopular! People won't believe you and that's part of what makes it so painful and traumatic... the way that it will be your sanity gets called into question for saying what you see and it being instantly dismissed without hesitation... If that frustrates you you'll be called obsessive and emotionally immature!!! If you can prove it... all evidence will be dismissed probably not even looked at and you'll be told you're being selfish and possessive and that you had unrealistic expectations and were overly attached, that you are being needy and pathetic and it just goes to show why they needed to get away!! All of these things are high on the list of nightmarish situations for sensitive people... especially being blamed! But the killer is.... having your natural caring personality and desire for the best possible outcome re-written as some kind of behavioural aberration... Something you need to be cured of! That's what hurts... Being told you are the one who's behaviour is not normal! That you ought to be more like them... That's life changing...
No apology needed. I am all too aware of the effects though... I have been in the company of narcissists for as long as I can remember... My survival in childhood was based on letting go of control and the desire to be somewhere/someone else. I think that many narcissists are also survivors but have taken the path of taking control at any cost and always wanting to be somewhere else. My ex said to me when we had been seeing each other just a few weeks, "I feel that this is an equal relationship after all and I am just as likely to have my heart broken as you are." which shows that her idea of love was that it was inevitably going to cost somebody dearly and, (naturally,) she decided that would be me. That's fear, cowardice and a poorly view of what love is if you ask me. Not evil... just not open to experience anything new. It's sabotage whether conscious or not and a resignation to there being no mutual benefit mixed with a relentless drive to prove her worldview superior and correct in the face of a challenge to her prejudices. For me the astonishing thing was the way she had total support and wasn't challenged at all even after she left people still refused to question her motives or sympathise with me, as it's ALL my responsibility! I disagree. Beyond a personal wish to be treated respectfully, changing me only takes me out of the firing line and leaves the mechanism inside her that decides whether someone deserves to be treated respectfully or with total contempt, untouched. She carries that still and I genuinely pity the next person who falls on the wrong side of that judgement. I didn't accept her behaviour, and challenged it and hence she's split and I am free... but not at all happy... I don't think I can ever be happy again.... There's a civil war going on in my head and the rage is with me 24/7. If I saw her I'd probably kill her, so I stay indoors mostly just in case. Everyone who I thought of as a friend proved to be otherwise in the end. And saddest of all is that I had actually thought for once that my goodwill and conscious attention would actually benefit someone for a change but nope... it just broke me instead.... again. I'd been single for 4 years and was not expecting this at all. I don't crave relationships, hell no... or define myself by them but there's undeniable benefits to living with loving cooperation and support and encouragement and things of that sort....It felt like that was possible for a moment or two... I let my guard down and was manoeuvred into a position where I thought I could trust and that was all that it took... Lesson learned. Her loss more than mine.
This concludes that the victims are the ones reflecting on the narcissists? It’s blaming the victim. I’ve seen narcissists receiving unconditional love for decades without any positive effect. It’s never enough for them.
Most clear understandable explanation of a narcissist I have ever heard as well as am explanation of a selfless person. I identify both of these personality types as I lived with both for the past 25 years. No longer as the selfless one's spirit almost died, but she woke up and is healing...Great video...Thank You!!!
Wonderful video, the key is being able to look at how others mirror ourselves. I was not able to attract a healthy relationship until I was ready to look at myself and begin my healing journey. I learned alot about myself. Thank you.
There are more things she said for the narcisistic to be healed like them accepting the condition and wanting to jeal. Im not sure If unconditional love works by its own, but it the narcisistic doesnt want to heal then what else can you do bit love them? Ues, run away, but if the narcisistic is your mother and you love her and she is alone cause no one wants to be around... .. What else can you do but love her? Maybe this answer is a powerless victim of narcisism one... SO... What can we do? Heal ourself to prevent the vampire of sucking our energy... I'm worried about what happens when the narcisistic person doesn have anybody to steal energy from.
My daughters ( empaths) just started giving me little nuggets they knew I would accept. (Nature and crystals). They ignored my poor behavior for the most part, but would give me one definitive statement about how I made everyone feel. I started watching Teal’s videos. Still, my driving motivation was to be seen as good. Little by little I saw my inconsistencies.... how I was and had been the one causing pain for a very long time. Currently I’m working with my shame, also focusing on abundance, seeing life and energy from a different perspective. Teal’s kindness and unconditional love in this video helped me to not turn away from the hard truth again. (I’m writing this because your question is helping me process through this on a major breakthrough day. It’s more for me than anyone else, but I’m also feeling a need to be public with it, out of the closet so to speak. So I thank you very much for this good question
@@hananemec2786 It was Teal that suggested a condition of unconditional love > that it could 'heal' someone. Thats a condition. To me unconditional love is a way of living. In unconditional love the need for or state of healing can not exist. The idea that someone needs healing suggests a condition and who decides that condition?
Omg! I loved this. this pragmatic yet loving message went straight to my soul. I got it now and it makes perfect sense. Thank you so much Teal Swan for not demonising but understanding. Namaste.
wow, I found someone who 'knows' me although he never met me. Ben quinn you sound like a sociopath. People beware! Ben quinn can assess your personality by one comment. Psychotherapy is suppose to help people like you, who suffer from delusion of grandeur. good luck.
I understand that you should love oneself, that is very true. Yes, narcissist can result from lack of feeling loved and being abused. However, every person needs balance.I believe in energy and an abundance in the Universe. "When you are Completely in alignment" each Chakra also represents ourselves and we must practice balance in order to be truly healthy and healed of our scars. For example, our "Throat Chakra" as in speaking your mind and expressing yourself when need be. Otherwise you are denying yourself and breaking your spirit and/or self slowly. You must have a balance of loving yourself and others as well. Narcissists are supposedly incapable of this (I also believe that changing mentality can change anyone as well). However, coming from a person who was raised by not only a narcissist, but a schizophrenic narcissist, Do Not tell me that Narcissism is OK. Because it's Not. Narcissism is being out of balance in their mind. There's nothing wrong with good self esteem, I have little to none myself. However, being Obsessed with yourself and manipulating and controlling your children is Wrong. Otherwise, I agree with you.
Thx ! This was the perfect video for me at this stage of my healing process. The psycho-spiritual aspect makes perfect sense and resonates w my beliefs This can be a tough pill to swallow for closed minded ppl, or those who haven't reached this level of awareness. One needs to look deep inside or this info won't make sense.
I can’t tell you how much peace I’ve found listening to your videos. I’d love to connect because we are having major challenges in Los Angeles and spreading your messages is SO important ❤️
Another great video thanks Teal 😊 She mentions that selfless and selfish people come from the same mentality. There is a story about the Buddha and a man who was into lavish excess. The man then became an ascetic and was as ascetic as he had been lavish. When asked about this man the Buddha said he has not changed he has only substituted asceticism for lavish excess.
I understand that we need to have boundaries for ourselves when it comes to keeping to a state of happiness when associating with others. But what about people who are narcissistic in negative ways? People who try to make us feel bad about ourselves because in their narcissistic minds we are never going to reach their level. To them we are less then them as a person. This can be experienced when we have a boss who has a narcissistic personality. They talk down to you and they don't seem to like you. They don't praise you for anything you've done well. Why do people do that and how is that reflecting off of me? I must be missing something.
I can try to help but I'm not sure what exactly the question is. I do think you're mistaken that they think they are above you. Bosses and managers generally are highly insecure and condescend people to create the illusion they want to see. Think of it as a little kid pretending to be a king or a teacher. Once you stand up to them they throw a tantrum. I've lost plenty of jobs this way.
Whenever I try to explain this to anyone, it never makes sense to the other person. It’s so easy to understand the way you tell it! I think I come across as a “Know it all” and I don’t know how to change that.
in order for someone to stop feeling their environment is hostile, it would help if it actually was safe first. in which case moving to mars is our only option.
I made out of narcissism, and trust me, it is incredibly painful. At the time I had no idea that I was a narcissist. I honestly thought I was the good guy and people just didn't see how much I did for them. Then when I can out of it by giving myself permission to love myself I saw how everything I did was self serving and how it actually hurt the people around me. I also remember how nice it was to finally just enjoy the experience of life without looking for self-validation in everything. Every thing Teal says in this video is on the mark.
Can you explain more how did U heal or start to figure out things? ❤
same story, it took me one year of intense daily self talks to rewire my brain. And I became everything I wanted to be in the process.
@@chester2581can you please explain how you did it or point out to the ressources that helped you through? 🙏
How deep were u into narsicism spectrum.
How can you make it out of narcissism? Were you diagnosed with NPD?
I have found (in my professional career as a divorce mediator) the most challenging narcissists are those who were rejected and abandoned as infants - not necessarily belittled as children, but abandoned at a very primal level. In understanding these "adults" are like infants filled with fear of abandonment and that they feel their very survival depends upon sucking energy from others, it at least helps to gain an understanding of their suffering. It is difficult though to watch them create situations where they are repeatedly abandoned - the self-fulfilling prophecy. Sadly, no amount of love can fill a cup full of holes and the holes do need to heal from the inside out.
Yeah boo hoo and all but narcissist's can all drop dead and I'd watch with pleasure. They literally destroy your soul and any belief about yourself that was good, tear you down and traumatize you for their own pleasure.
And when it is your mother
@@sammyrizzo1199 i agree i was emotionally abandoned i play the empath role also scapegoat when i was little and have borderline traits either way i feel what others feel i blame myself constantly and i am on edge all the time, narcissists have it freaking easy in comparison!
What you describe sounds more like bpd than narcissism.
So then use liquid latex in the cup so it coats the holes evenly, and transforms the cup at the same time! Working with the original cup shape, & improving the cup full of holes :) There is always a way to heal (not hide,) & GROW (not "change," & conform to something you don't align with,) but unfortunately, all this hate & the way society is structured, people have difficulty ALLOWING & HELPING others to heal. It is hard to wrap one's head around this concept -and it all comes back to money/fear, (same. thing) Personally, I don't like it. So, why not change or evolve the cup?
Those disagreeing with this video haven't been through life enough to understand. This is so accurate.
No, what you just did here is called gas lighting.
How do you know anyone disagrees ? You’ve been duped .
my husband attacked me spraining my neck after l asked for a divorce. he now rolls his
eye's when i'm in intense pain, crying. .he even went soo far as to say he barely touched me and i'm fakeing it for sympathy. a narcissist can kill you quite easily and then blame you for it. l don't care about his childhood problems he chose to be a bad person period. my life, and limbs are more important than my marriage.they have zero empathy. scary people. the more unconditional love l gave him the more he hated me.
I am not sure that in this situation you gave him unconditional love. First because to love someone unconditionally you have to love youself too, which is not something that you did. You decided to stay with him for his healing sake, although you knew he won't be good to you in any sense, which literally means that you betrayed yourself for a cause, that you at the time thought was good, when in fact was giving a lot more trauma on the top of the trauma he was giving you. You can't help someone that is hurting you so bad and you are in pain because of him, because your resistence is stopping you. And it will always stop you, because it doesn't want you to betray yourself. At this point you really needed to forget about his pain and focus on yourself, because of what I see, you were in a lot of pain. Eventually, this person will change ot you'll be attracted to someone more beneficial to you. Hope you are okay today ♥
@Historical Icons Why be mean? Maybe she's just processing everything.
@PaleBlueDot when did I provide violence
Historical Icons because she might still be scared of him. “What if I do leave him and he finds me?”
Leave him
One of the most outstanding, rational, calm and mature take on this subject.
the unhealed trying to heal the unhealed--fabulously articulate!
a minor quibble: Narcissus from Greek mythology falls in love with his reflected image... he isn't loving himself, he's loving his false-self. i think that's the correct interpretation, in my opinion, anyway...
Thats exactly what she said.
Words_Are_Wind perfect description!!!
Words_Are_Wind that’s the ‘myth’ that created the misconception. Anyone that’s been through NPD will understands that there is nothing ‘special’ about it.
@@singularity844 That's not exactly what she said. You should watch the video more carefully. She defined narcissism as self-love, which is incorrect.
Words_Are_Wind brilliant!
I can not understand how this video hasn't received every award possible. It so clearly explains some fundamental truths that are blind to many.
These things must be clear:
Narcissism is not self-love... Narcissism is love for self-image, and therefor lack of self-love...
Being unselfish. is not the same as being selfless...
Because i love myself i will work on my self image
@@vanessativa2418 coping mechanism
Very well said.....
@@susanaferreira2076 - Thank you! They really love their self-image and hide their true-self. They don´t want to let you know what they think, what they feel...
My parents are narcissists and they've also made me one. I realised this when I got into a relationship with a really selfless guy. I could see how spoiled and selfish my behaviour was. Im trying to change that though. You said that narcissists dont watch these videos but those who want to become a better person do watch it.
agreed, i'm here with you.
I usually fall in love with narcissits (and never had a sigle relationship with them), I call them Angels, because only they can make me feel wounds I usually forget during my life. The wounds are deep inside ,they hurt like hell and make me feel like I am living in hell, I see the world like a nightmare which only death can escape. Panic attacks, sadness and desperation are permanent during the process. I usually want to die thinking this pain will never end. It's time for the operation. Like in a hospital I lie on my bed and I let my feelings guide me into the past. It takes days before having some sort of relief and I am nearly completely invalidated during the operation. But if I am strong enough to pass this I feel free, full of energy and will to live I feel renewed. I also discovered that my subconscious always wanted me to do this operations: in the week-end I usually got a headache which forces me to lie on a bed, I cannot eat nor drink, the day after I feel strong, full of love and ready to face everything. This means that even if we are self-sacrificer deep inside us there is always a part who loves us above all. This also means that our dark side is not only full of demons but also full af angels.
so her specfic advice was to get out of relationship with them, as you are likely too selfless.
Mark Ferry interesting Mark ☆
Gosh, that was a powerful sharing
Thank you
Sending lots of healing energy your way
Id agree youre a tad over selfless but thats no criticism - many of us are. It would be better for us and the narcs - for us to be a smudge more selfish.
Came back to watch this video for a 3rd time. Learn something new every time. Very insightful. Hate the narcs all you want, the other person is still you. The more you blame them for the pain they cause you to inflict upon yourself (
I agree but it’s important to recognize truth because you can still be victimized and that’s real I’ve been a total coda my whole life and I’m very aware that I created it but the victimizing is still real xo
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
👆🏻 This.
@@abigailestherrobinson2204 its real when u continue playing the game of victimhood they dont want to be the villain eaither so if u step out of this role every thing will end here
Blame isn’t the same as acknowledging that person is dangerous. It’s never ok to abuse people, I’m not a child abuser and never will be so no we’re not the same.
Ehh I don't know you don't normally realize you attracted and found a narc based on how you are, and even if you run they can still make your life a living hell they need you to be the victim as fuel for their ego
I was diagnosed with NPD. I was in shame over that because a lot of what I did was isolate after needing people and them feeling great about helping me out. Then I would isolate and shut them all out. This caused a boat load of hurt feelings including my wife of 40 years. I have an ACE score of 7 so I get that. But Teal Swan has made it sound like I have a challenge and not am diseased. I will go to hell for my isolation and I live a very lucky existence that I have my wife and kids and they still love me!!! Thanks for the best advice I have gotten from a therapy type person in this video.
It's joyful to see you're working with the hand you were dealt. You will make so much progress in this life. To be two people and understand both.
This helped me make sense of my covert narc ex. I offered unconditional love but it still didn’t work. I was self sacrificing. The unhealed trying to heal the unhealed. Wow! 🤯
"It is not a disorder, it's an adaptation..."
Great insight.
No, it's not. Narcissism is a personality disorder.
Yeah, it’s a disorder. Enough with the self aggrandizing moral platitudes
Oh man. It's a disorder. A black hole which sucks everything in near it. A black hole full of chaos.
It's definitely certifiable f-d up-ness and your leader Teal here might just be one.
No, it's both. They're not mutually exclusive. Specifically, it's a MALadaptation, and that's what makes it a disorder.
The real problem is when the ego eclipses the spirit. The result is that one will not see all humans as one spirit. The egoist sees others as separate from himself. The egoist is lonely, insecure, selfish and miserable. But when the spirit eclipses the ego, one sees all humans as one so practicing the golden rule is easy; wanting for others what he wants for himself. When spirit is above ego, spirit meets with the heart and one becomes truly human. When ego is above spirit, one becomes a devil.
I believe it's more of the persona,than the ego
this was painfully helpful. i feared that i was a narcissist and after watching this i can say that although i am definitely not one, i do have some tendencies toward both narcissism and also self-sacrificing behaviors. the fact that i am becoming aware of these polarities within me i think should make me gravitate closer to balance. thank you so much teal. you are indeed the mother fucking spiritual catalyst. more than that, a spiritual catapult.
Same exact thing with me I have those tendicies and self sacrifing behaviors but I never had the grandious personality I have extreme shame and low self esteem and chronic anxiety and I’m introverted but before I had these tendencies I was extremely extraverted and felt like everyone was equal that’s why when I heard of narsism I would laugh because it’s obviously a symptom of horrible self worth the superiority and levels that they view them selfs is a defect corelatiom to there very low self worth so that’s why I think I’m not I also come to my true self sometimes even though it can. Feel scary but I think what I’m really dealing with is unhealed things and lack of self love for so long and my false self I put that’s why I was an amazing artist and now I havnt made art in 6 months
obviously, you are well meaning, Teal. I am highly sensitive and was married to a narc. I do disagree that it is okay to be a narcissist because these people are truly dangerous. I know what they are doing and they meant to destroy you. I do feel sorry for a person who has a mental disorder but not at the expense of the innocent. there is no help for them and there is no cure because they think they are perfect and I would tell anyone to avoid a narcissist if you want to have alive because I had mine taken away. it is taking much time and healing and therapy to get over what was taken from me. I just would not classify a narc as anything but a predator.
This! Its not always OUR faults like this video presents. I been in traumabonds and THAT WAS WHAT BINDED ME TO THE NARC. Not my damn inner wounds. Inner wounds are there after being traumabonded to psychopaths amd malignant narcisissts yes ,but they are known to me and not being something of a block that i put on myself for learning to heal my wounds. The damger is traumabond. If youre like me, never had parents teachimg you about the wolfs in sheeps clothing (and they both being this wolf in sheep clothing) then your empathy will make you fall in traps and may leave you traumabonded. My narc magnet syndrome dissapeared as fog to the sun as soon as I learned about what the wolves do inside their costumes. I was gaslighted as a kid as to "whats a wolf and whats a lamb". So while Teal make a good point here she doesnt cover it good enough, but what she says we can all benefit from regardless. What i mean is important here is to mention the ppl like me. The sensitive ones who are just easy to fool and traumabond, because isolation and gaslight have been our "teachers" in childhood . Yes we are filled with unconditional love, but we are so kind and loving that if we get lonely we can be duped and a traumabond may form and then its a hell and too late. I learned finally to watch my step and to finally see who is the monster pretending to be angel. Im very safe from all harm if i just use my inner compass to discern instead of listening to a new traumabond. And yes- being predisposed for traumabonds are something a lot of us sensitives are
Preach! 🙌🏽
My mother
@@itb7439Others generally treat us how we feel about ourselves. We’ll attract and are attracted to people who treat us how we feel about ourselves. Otherwise a person wouldn’t put up with them or stay with them. Btw Teal has other videos elaborating on the topic further, not just this one.
Teal doesn’t see it as a mental disorder. She has other videos elaborating further. By the way we attract and choose people who treat us how we feel about ourselves. Wouldn’t put up with it otherwise. Some do seek therapy if something huge happens which shakes their world and also their behaviour isn’t benefiting them anymore or with the people they want it to influence.
The truth is narcs are in a lot of pain if u were in that much pain who knows what u would do my point is love is the answer to everything if we are hating we are propagating the problem. Protecting yourself with healthy boundaries is crucial to dealing with a narc but bashing them and talking trash about them only makes them and you sicker.
TRUE!!!!!!
Hate is a feeling. Feeling is healthy. Therefore it's unhealthy to suppress hate. HOWEVER. Acting on the feeling of hate might not be a good idea.
Feeling and behaviour are two different things.
It's ok to hate. But it's not necessarily ok to behave hatefully.
Very important to make a distinction in that, especially in this community.
E = Love 😁
Well said
Love is not the answer to everything , they take you love as your weakness and come for more and torture more
Teal Swan You are crystal clear. Best teacher out there.
I think this video just described my entire life. I'm not a narcisist but a sacrificing selfless person. Two of my family members are narcisists and is incredible how well you described them and our relationship. I guess I always thought I was the less bad one but turns out we are the same only opposite. I loved your video, it gave a lot of insight and I will follow your advice, thank you Teal!
the issue of "worthless-ness" is the key to understanding the dynamic between narcissists and those magnetized towards them... as Teal said, to paraphrase, it's not self-love that makes them act so badly, it's self-hate...
Wow!! You hit a nerve on this one!!! I have repressed those feelings forever, and now the tear gates are over flowing!! And noticed this is what I’ve been searching for all my life, acceptance
Thank you Teal for being one of so few teachers of this subject that doesn't shove the narcissists into the categories of "evil" and "non-changing" or "forever doomed". They are a gift to the collective, as everything is, although they are not often perceived as such. Although it is painful to experience the abuse of narcissism.. it is the very thing that intends to put the power of self-love back into the hands of the "victims" of the abuse. Narcissists are the manifestation of the subconscious pain in us all. It is easy to claim victimhood to their ways and label humans with disorders and that's that, but it is easier to reclaim the power of self-love that only we were ever designed to give ourselves. May we all be blessed with an abundance of self-love and authenticity.
my mom had read an article about narcissists & immediately told me that I was one! That all signs pointed to me. I was livid & appalled!! we argued for a good hr or so & I just ended up walking away. Just saw this video & Damn. I resonated with this video so much, but sometimes I feel like im constantly dating narcissists making me the opposing one. I definitely need & want some healing to take place!
Thank you so much Teal. As a survivor of severe child abuse and after 17 years of being married to a covert narcissist (who also had a very sad childhood), this is the first explanation of narcissism that really rings true and resonates with me. I'm still with my narc but am on the brink of leaving him. As a co-dependent woman, it's such a hard decision to leave him cause I feel compassion for what he went through and I don't want to hurt him further. At the same time, I have nothing left to give. I feel completely drained of life. And I also see the damage it's causing our 2 boys. I finally see that I need to heal from my childhood trauma and the trauma of the past 17 years with my husband. It does feel selfish on my part, wanting to finally take care of myself. But people like you and Ross Rosenberg have really helped me to see past the blinders. Thank you, from all that I am, for helping people like me see that there is so much more to life than this never ending cycle of pain. Much love, Tamera
Wow I’m only just reading this and I’m curious to know did you leave? I understand the feelings of compassion & empathy. I’m wanting to heal a partner to only knew for 2 months!! Guess that means we are healed or close enough ☺️
The 'starving child' metaphor is wrapping itself around my heart, and makes so much sense in this context. It's amazing how many powerful opportunities this video presents so succintly. Many blessings.
I consider myself somewhat of an addict when it comes to videos about narcissism. But wow, what an absolutely beautiful discription that made me understand the personality problem so much better. Well done and thank u.
Compassion for ONESELF is necessary when dealing with a narcissist. The parents cannot always be blamed for everything.
Ty ty ty
This explains why for the past 24 years between two women, I was always drained of energy. You explained my life. Always tired, my mind jumbled. Thank you for this explanation.
Really appreciate the bravery she embodies to reject standard philosophies about so much in life. So refreshing to hear the truth behind the standard explanations. This video is an incredible eye-opener for me 🎯💯🎯
I am going to get my work done and spend the rest of my day listening to you. I don't listen to anyone...this is a very high vibration. Ty.
I attracted narcissists, and at the other end of the spectrum, I also likely sidestepped or rejected people who are not. This video is glaringly clear about the truth of narcissism. I cannot elaborate on its significance other than suggesting to watch it over and over again. This is my second or third time watching it after maybe a year and I see it entirely differently.
This describes my relationship with my Partner for the last 23 yrs ! I definitely am the giver! As I been healing I see less and less of hi,. Which is a good thing because it means I am healing . Teal you are AWESOME, So much insite was allowed through this video
thank you for pointing the way.this is great and helpful stuff.
you help me so much, Teal. you've changed my life.
I have watched countless videos about narcissists and never fully understood it like I do now. after watching your AMAZING video Teal ❤ …. thank you 🙏 I’ve been waiting for so long for this, the healing can finally begin ❤
The clearest and most healing explanation I’ve heard on Narcissism. Beautiful. 🙏🕉
"Our entire reality in fact, is only vibrations within us". The end of this video is just brilliant.
What a gift you are to us, Teal. Blessings and thanks!
The Bible says “ Love your neighbor as YOURSELF”.
Caring for one self and others.
But totally carrying for others or ourselves is wrong
*HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE*
My favorite quote. This vid gave me some intense and extreme clarity on so many things about my past and my life. Thank u so much Teal!
I completely understand the damage narc behavior can cause. With that said, the problem of the narc to begin with is that they (whether they know it or not) have the core belief that there is something wrong with them. That's why they create hell for everyone around them. ATTENTION ALL NARCS: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!! And for those who think they're dealing with a narc, it's time to approach the situation with more curiosity, introspection, and gratitude. The narc is a huge gift to you! It doesn't mean let them ruin you. Take the opportunities as they come to let the triggers guide you. Trace them. Untangle yourself. The pain they cause you doesn't reside in the present. It is old pain and the narc is helping you see it so you can let it go. Good luck.
And from another perspective, I speak to myself. I am both. And even so I am neither.
good video thanks. I think the problem is that assuming you can offer them unconditional love, it won't be enough and you will end up depleted and totally burnt out. I did try it but it's like trying to fill a bottomless pit. narcissism is tragic for everyone involved.
Unconditional love does not mean playing to their games. It means that you become unaffected by the games because you understand their pain.
Yep .
Narcissism as a reflection of the unhealed parts within ourselves. I think that's brilliant.
I'm not a narcissist but my father IS. I have BPD because of it. I despise narcissists.
Yes that is awfully terrible I know and have been through that with my parents.
That’s usually what happens. I’m fine but my sister says she has it and I support her. My dad’s a covert. Hope life goes well for you.
Bpd is a form of narcissism
@@Moop666 Ive been telling people this
Same. We've already discovered they can't be cured. They need to be locked up.
Thank you Ms. Swan. I unfortunately believe life & I have created a narcissistic child/adult, she's 21 now. We have had a large amount of death and trauma in our family and now feel as though WE are all WE have, so it feeds this, over and over again. We are miserably attached...I'll keep watching...I'm determined to heal hopefully the both of us. Thank you very much!
And then there are the incredibly insidious covert narcissists. Very sneaky, underhanded and destructive people.
Detective K: There could be a host of reasons why someone would try to hurt you. However, underhanded and mean behavior is not a good sign regardless of who's at fault. Could it have been something you did or said? Sure. But the correct way to respond to that would be to discuss it with your rationally. If you're not getting that respect (regardless what may have happened), then the person is just not good news.
wolves in sheep's clothing can be more dangerous than overt narcissists for sure
Med dy...keep drinkin the hateraid
They are worse bc you spend a much longer time trying to convince yourself that they have the your best interests at heart bc they keep lying and lying and pretending to be good and caring
you dont see them coming, in fact you think they are your champion. by the time u begin to realise whats going on,its usually already too late
Loving thyself is the golden rule with gratefullness in nature and its course. Being prideful of your love and truth is undeniable and cannot be touched. But admitting your ignorances and humbling yourself to fix your issues is the first step towards growth and spiritual evolution. Damn im proud of myself to admit when im wrong!! Takes strength! Damn world, I am good and getting better, watch and learn**
'a narcissist is a reflection of the unhealed parts within ourselves'
I've been saying this for ages. The so-called 'empath' is as bad (or worse) than the narcissist. Both are self absorbed. So many 'empaths' claiming a 'narcisist' ruined their life. Whenever I've mentioned that perhaps it was vibrationally, emotionally, attitude-wise something within them that attracted the 'narcisist' .. and perhaps they are better off taking responsibility for their part, I've almost always been called a 'true narcissist'. Realize, we attract based on where we are at in our own healing, growth, self worth. Empaths seem to stay stuck and always blame. Victim mentality drains so much energy from others and can literally turn people's lives up side down when these people feel so hard done by, they run to the authorities or use the system against the alledged offender. I'm way more cautious of those who are self proclaimed 'empaths', than those who own their narcissism.
Stumbled upon this video. Have read about and watched a number of videos regarding narcissism. This one is hands down the best I've seen on the topic. I wish everyone understood the importance of unconditional self-love, and setting and honoring healthy personal boundaries.
its been one year dating a narc and at the end of all the drama we had a baby boy. now that everything has come to light. the denial gone and now im here. wow... and i thought before meeting him i had healed that aspect of myself through meditation and study.. i learned the hard way.. time to heal!
You are fabulous Teal, and this lecture is fresh genius. You dont go on and on, and there is no whitewashing here. I love the clarity you bring to difficult subjects, and in that, the hope for healing of these conditions created by a stuck and toxic civilisation that wants us all the conform to the totality of wasted emotional pain that can be turned about when we open to the open road of life, that gift of self love we often miss at the crossroads.
Holy shit. I cannot believe how much this kinda describes me and how it really describes my father. Ever since about 7th grade I've had this subconscious belief that the world is against me and I can't let my guard down. I was extremely sensitive, even the smallest jokes would offend me and make me feel abandoned. Basically, narcissists view the world as a win/loss, survival of the fittest, every man for himself place. These people may seem like assholes, but at their core is an extreme lack of love.
I find that when those around you start sounding like that negative, doubtful, angry, little voice in your head you have always hated that it's the biggest red flag out there. Implied superiority in their words is another subtle sign.
That incredibly self aware of you to admit that
I appreciate your reply. I feel the same way about this video. I just immediately was reminded of my relationship to my mom. All the times she made me out to be willfull. All the times i was needy. I didnt get her. She hated me. She was a single parent. I was abandoned. I was called a brat selfish selfish selfish. Now im even worse than then. Regardless this is an extremely balanced view that i agree with. Shes mapped out my life.
@@flashoflight9175 same with you my mom never loved me and made me feel bad for my presence. I feel so empty on the inside, like i am screwed for ever and can not repair myself anymore.
I have also a question, did she made you be the best at school and everything while denying your true self and emotions and needs ? That is what she did to me ...
Jaccobtw wow that takes a lot for one to admit . Good on you .
This woman is so beautiful and articulate. I cant stop listening to her speak. Im captivated by her face and taught by her intelligence. This is a smart woman who is a womderful speaker. Thank you for the videos and im greatful for you.
From a scientific and psychological standpoint, no one can make us feel any given way in which we feel only we can do that. Especially if given the notion that we create our own emotions
One of my parents is narcisist, but its ok, we choose our parents even before we are born, so I chosed it for a reason, even though it could be hard but it gave me a lot of experience that helped me to learn myself, but I do spend a lot of energy on trying to build a bond between us, and that can be disopointing at times
I think you need to watch the video again and check out her video on Psychotic Vampires.
Olenea Z i was raised by my grandparents..... When i finally met my biiligical mother she turned out to be a narcicist and gave me hell....wich is fine cuz i learned a lot like your said but i noticed she bragged a lot about how she destroyed other peoples lifes so i realized i was playing with fire......when i took my daughter to me her at 2 years old she did something wicked...and that was it...i will never speak to her again.
Olenea Z was it worth it? Have same problem, and wondering should you leave narcisists alone, its big risk to help, but there must be the way without you burn out...
How do we choose our parents?
I like how she cuts through a lot of the new age dumb beliefs. so many things like selflessness, and non ego beliefs, ego is here to stay , were human. you can control it up to a point, but in the end you need it.
It's as if most the people in the comments didn't even listen to the video or something, they hear one thing that disagrees with their previous world view and boom deaf to the rest of what's being presented. Might be better to listen to the entire video before even bothering to formulate a blocking opinion.
TehKhronicler i listened to entire video. when she said there's nothing wrong with narcissism? i knew she was not aware of the damage real narcs cause behind them.
Narcissists are very cruel cold hateful damaging entities I live with one she threw our baby son on the concrete in his sleep then turned and smirked at me she then called the police and lied that I pushed her they locked me in a jail for over a year while this child abuser retains full custody of my son to this day. I never thought a woman could hurt a innocent baby let alone her own I have come to learn she is a man hater and very twisted haughty and vulgar words cannot explain the antics and methods they employ to destroy innocent unsuspecting souls.
she never says that? she says they are suffering, and if you are near one, try and get out... pretty frkn clear
Maybe you are the one who should hear what she says more carefully. She completely misinterpreted narcissism.
Todd Howard You completely misunderstood everything. It’s pretty damn obvious what message she’s bringing: Yes narcissists are destructive and dangerous but this is a defense mechanism which means it’s not a personality disorder, it means that it is a interpersonality disorder. So, Narcissism is a natural effect by this much lack of self worth. Narcissists project their painful feelings onto you so that they can feel better (but not permanently), that’s why they’re so manipulative. So the way out for them is the same as PTSD, there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re poor, but don’t mess with them either because their false-self can be dangerous.
My narcissistic "mother" abandoned a two and a four year old with a stressed out man going through a divorce. Also those narcissists forced their selfless beliefs on me. At one point one has to be responsible for their actions. I was a child and I did not have a choice to be tortured with guilt of caring for myself. My needs weren't necessary, never-mind my wants. I have no compassion for these narcissistic people who refuse to take responsibility for their situation. I went through worse yet I am not a bully. Also love was very limited in supply but I was 5 so who's the fault. There are narcissist that I have compassion for and are sort of friends with but they at least love their child and take care so that they end the cycle. That child will be loved more in a day than I was in 2 decades. my mother continued the cycle and I blame the judge who let her legally abandon 2 infants when she obviously needed mental help. I deal with this everyday, i dealt with low self esteem all my life and I was told DONT BE SELFISH everyday. oh I also blame the jehovahs witnesses
Well said. Respect!
Narcissists are draining and taxing on my energy. They have no regard for anyone elses feelings concerns or ideas. They are not good friends to have. Unless you like to feel drained and have someone make you feel crappy day in and day out.
In the world of addiction recovery the narcissist is the addict. Your description of the narcissist described my past to a “T”. I have, great-fully, evolved from that point after much Spiritual work. The “one who lives with” the narcissist is the co-addict.
Thanks Teal
To comment readers,
Of course this is all about words and symbols to convey Spiritual Truths. Keeping this in mind is important to maintaining growth, and not to get caught up in semantics (lexical or conceptual), which is a way of dodging these truths. I have found it is important to recognize the need to stay open when interpreting Life.
Interesting analysis, I find myself agreeing with you. The hypothesis with the greatest amount of empathy and knowledge tends to be the most accurate.
I came to your site due to a video that was shared on FB which was about parent/s who treat their children as Dolls. I could relate. I appreciated your perspective. You have also nailed it on Narcissism. You're the person I wish I would have ran into when I was 20. Pretty and intelligent. Thank-you.
Wow! Every statement resonates with me. Many of these connections I didn't see before. I love you Teal! Thank you so much for all your work!
Its very important to after healing from a narc is to never become like one as those ppl really dedicated to taking you off the reality itself so they would remain innocent
cried when I saw this...I reaaaaally love your words on wisdom...thank you
Thank you so much Teal! I think there is a big misconception what narcissism out there. From a personal story I had a very difficult time developing self worth but I did it regardless. I was always working very hard in every single aspect of my life. I was proud of many things in my life as a result of that. But because me building this basis on self worth got me to withdraw from family activities or dinners etc I was always called selfish, my entire life. I was confused why, and what I was doing wrong if I was fullfilled with joy and love inside, I was deeply happy. However, I kept that message inside. When I had a massive breakup I started to think there was something wrong with me. It was exactly as you pointed out: if they can't find this unconditional love they feel the world is out to catch them. I started to think I was a bad person, that I was selfish and wrong as my parents always told me so. So I decided to "pay" my karma - or whatever. By watching other videos of Narcisism I though that the deep self love I built, the will power, work ethic etc was the problem, that focusing on myself I hurt other people. I decided to give up on taking care of myself, of my personal life, for the sake of others. One year later, I find my self in the most empty and painful space of my life, and then I found your videos. This is amazingly perfect. I thought deep self love was narcisism and ran away from it, but now I know the pain that real Narcisism is. It is as you said, the opposite of self love. It is fullfilled with self hate to a point you hurt everyone around you on purpose, this is true selfishness. Now I understand it all
Namaste Teal. I am praying for you. I see your pain and i respect the journey you have chosen to take. We must have darkness here as well as us with light. I learned many years ago that souls such as yourself have chosen this darker path as a way to help humanity. I see it as a catalyst. We are all here for a purpose.
My words spoken by you, love.
100% accurate i realised i was a narc after i dated a covert narc who literally destroyed me and it was that trauma that pain that led me to teal 6 years later i have watched hundreds of youtube videos on narcissism done by highly educated psychologists and none of them explain it as well as teal does. Bless!
Follow up, a year later: I believe we all attract those in our lives that are meant to either share with us, teach us something & for us to help them learn something. The way I see it is if I have to associate myself with those whom are narcissistic, I don't have to be like them. I don't allow these types of people to drain me of my positive energy. The way I handle it is I KNOW myself, I KNOW I'm a good person. I cannot control the people that come into my life, especially when I deal with different people all day. I react towards them with positive reflection & vibration. No matter what they say or how they say it I've learned to let the negatives go & only allow the positive feedback from these people be apart of my feelings. We cannot control the personalities of others. We can only reflect how we feel within ourselves.
+Sherrie Vitello - Then you have achieved self-mastery, which is wonderful, and something that most of us strive for.
well said.
That is the most incredible victim mentality that excuses staying with a narc... why are you doing that to yourself? Please find a good therapist; guaranteed you will find yourself so much happier and healthier in a years time. I promise. Do not listen to this woman, she is a lying narc who is only promoting herself... everythign she says is lies. Look up the videos by qualified educated professionals... she is NOT one.
@@angiet.5857 Teal is definitely NOT a narc, perhaps you are one of these people she is talking about! You’ve been triggered 😤
Your video on "self love", indeed helps allot with the process in understanding narcissism, dealing with it and working through some of the qualities a person might have that attract narcissists. Find it very applicable to my life, so thank you Teal xxx
I am emotionally deprived even I came to a conclusion that I can't give what I want like intimacy. I am so starved.
It's okay to empathize with narcissists, understand why they are the way they are, and extend a certain level of compassion to them. However, there is no excuse for the damage narcissists cause, and if you think you can love someone out of hating themselves, you can't. The more you extend compassion and understanding to them, the more they will take advantage until they heal. You can understand why someone is the way they are and still draw boundaries and not choose to play into their games. (Esepcially bc playing into their games and giving emotional reactions is what they thrive off of.)
I know they are mostly very hurt People but they can sure destroy others lives. WOW and they drain you of your life force if you let them or dont know how to delal with them.
Your video of fragmentetion and parts work has just saved my day. I just understand now my inner conflicts, and how I gaslight myself!
Wow. She said unconditional love is the way to help the narcissist. By being unconditionally loving you are linearly healing yourself and the narcissist. In order to unconditionally love, you must resolve your innermost preconceptions about who you are and be accepting and loving of your real self. Thank you so much Teal Swan
She is compassionate
I’m glad you can see the bigger picture.
Mycool1983 DEADASS
like the last video, the best way to deal with narcissism, is be honest, being nice accomplishes nothing, because you teach them nothing, if they don't know, they will never know, of course, you will be "accused" of not being nice, but you can simply reply, "i try not to be nice" and explain the reason why, not necessarily to them, but to a 2nd person version of them, say " i am not talking to you, i am talking out loud" or you can speak to them indirectly, by simply making you or someone else the example, doing this enables them to think about what you said, to question the reason as to "why" you said this, i do this all the time, it works for me in my "world", i can be honest with everything simply by making myself the example, essentially, what i am saying about myself is essentially what i am saying about you, likewise, if i hear someone speaking about others, it is self-reflection, when this happens i tend to have my own self-reflection, wanting to make this person aware, they are talking about themselves, but i don't, due to this duality consciousness, they will just contradict what i say, and nothing will be learned, they already know what nothing is, since they are "spiritually dead"...thus the "enlightenment" must be created and not taught, otherwise you are simply destroying energy.
I do the same thing ;) I find it to be rather useful.
I have been scrolling through the comments and there is so much hate directed at narcisists in my opinion that is a huge part of propagating the disorder.
Megan Marie I agree... It's a shame that the 'support' for those who are traumatised by their experience seems to have been hijacked... I understand the feelings that the experience creates... They are horrible and very, very intense... but nobody benefits by demonising the other person.. in fact, as you suggest, it's the sense of isolation and separation which causes their destructive behaviours... creating a witch-hunt will only make them more defensive and dishonest and quicker to flee with no explanation... potentially creating more victims where they land! There's also the popular belief that they are beyond reproach because they have no emotional sensation of guilt or shame... but I don't think that's the case at all... Nor do I believe that these Narcissist/Empath relationships are necessarily doomed to inevitable failure... Rather that they are each a potential force for transformation and healing... It's just that the narcissist (I prefer the term, "Person" with the "Dismissive, Avoidant, Attachment Issues"!) usually runs when they feel vulnerable... which is their loss more than anyone else's... It isn't self serving on their part... it isn't even wilfulness or destructiveness,... it's compulsive and compulsions are definitely manageable... though it takes some work... Sadly in this age of self esteem boosting memes and slogans everywhere it's so easy for narcissistic people to gain active support from others by playing the role of someone who's on a self discovery mission and needs help finding the courage to break free... and find their true self, their calling etc...... even if they arrived, with all of the enthusiasm and self confidence that anyone could ever hope to have just a few months before, having left another town in that exact same scenario... People love to encourage and rarely question a chance to do so... If you mention to people that this is something they have a history of and have been doing the "starting a new life, following my heart..." self actualisation and empowerment routine for years and years... and they don't need that encouragement because they are not stuck but running from themselves... you'll find yourself suddenly very unpopular! People won't believe you and that's part of what makes it so painful and traumatic... the way that it will be your sanity gets called into question for saying what you see and it being instantly dismissed without hesitation... If that frustrates you you'll be called obsessive and emotionally immature!!! If you can prove it... all evidence will be dismissed probably not even looked at and you'll be told you're being selfish and possessive and that you had unrealistic expectations and were overly attached, that you are being needy and pathetic and it just goes to show why they needed to get away!! All of these things are high on the list of nightmarish situations for sensitive people... especially being blamed! But the killer is.... having your natural caring personality and desire for the best possible outcome re-written as some kind of behavioural aberration... Something you need to be cured of! That's what hurts... Being told you are the one who's behaviour is not normal! That you ought to be more like them... That's life changing...
No apology needed. I am all too aware of the effects though... I have been in the company of narcissists for as long as I can remember... My survival in childhood was based on letting go of control and the desire to be somewhere/someone else. I think that many narcissists are also survivors but have taken the path of taking control at any cost and always wanting to be somewhere else. My ex said to me when we had been seeing each other just a few weeks, "I feel that this is an equal relationship after all and I am just as likely to have my heart broken as you are." which shows that her idea of love was that it was inevitably going to cost somebody dearly and, (naturally,) she decided that would be me. That's fear, cowardice and a poorly view of what love is if you ask me. Not evil... just not open to experience anything new. It's sabotage whether conscious or not and a resignation to there being no mutual benefit mixed with a relentless drive to prove her worldview superior and correct in the face of a challenge to her prejudices. For me the astonishing thing was the way she had total support and wasn't challenged at all even after she left people still refused to question her motives or sympathise with me, as it's ALL my responsibility! I disagree. Beyond a personal wish to be treated respectfully, changing me only takes me out of the firing line and leaves the mechanism inside her that decides whether someone deserves to be treated respectfully or with total contempt, untouched. She carries that still and I genuinely pity the next person who falls on the wrong side of that judgement.
I didn't accept her behaviour, and challenged it and hence she's split and I am free... but not at all happy... I don't think I can ever be happy again.... There's a civil war going on in my head and the rage is with me 24/7. If I saw her I'd probably kill her, so I stay indoors mostly just in case. Everyone who I thought of as a friend proved to be otherwise in the end. And saddest of all is that I had actually thought for once that my goodwill and conscious attention would actually benefit someone for a change but nope... it just broke me instead.... again. I'd been single for 4 years and was not expecting this at all. I don't crave relationships, hell no... or define myself by them but there's undeniable benefits to living with loving cooperation and support and encouragement and things of that sort....It felt like that was possible for a moment or two... I let my guard down and was manoeuvred into a position where I thought I could trust and that was all that it took... Lesson learned. Her loss more than mine.
Powerlessly codependent selfless child
Hit me real hard 👏
i like this lady her brain is beautiful n smart n helps me w/ my thoughts n confusion
yeah true i also felt the same ^ ^
This concludes that the victims are the ones reflecting on the narcissists? It’s blaming the victim. I’ve seen narcissists receiving unconditional love for decades without any positive effect. It’s never enough for them.
Reciprocal relationships imagine having that 😨
Hahaha it's one of my dreams in life🤣
Most clear understandable explanation of a narcissist I have ever heard as well as am explanation of a selfless person. I identify both of these personality types as I lived with both for the past 25 years. No longer as the selfless one's spirit almost died, but she woke up and is healing...Great video...Thank You!!!
Thank you 😢
You really have saved my life. I knew i could heal xx
Wonderful video, the key is being able to look at how others mirror ourselves. I was not able to attract a healthy relationship until I was ready to look at myself and begin my healing journey. I learned alot about myself. Thank you.
If they cant ever feel your love or be satisfied by you, or what you do, then how can unconditional love heal them?
There are more things she said for the narcisistic to be healed like them accepting the condition and wanting to jeal. Im not sure If unconditional love works by its own, but it the narcisistic doesnt want to heal then what else can you do bit love them? Ues, run away, but if the narcisistic is your mother and you love her and she is alone cause no one wants to be around... .. What else can you do but love her? Maybe this answer is a powerless victim of narcisism one... SO... What can we do? Heal ourself to prevent the vampire of sucking our energy... I'm worried about what happens when the narcisistic person doesn have anybody to steal energy from.
My daughters ( empaths) just started giving me little nuggets they knew I would accept. (Nature and crystals). They ignored my poor behavior for the most part, but would give me one definitive statement about how I made everyone feel. I started watching Teal’s videos. Still, my driving motivation was to be seen as good. Little by little I saw my inconsistencies.... how I was and had been the one causing pain for a very long time. Currently I’m working with my shame, also focusing on abundance, seeing life and energy from a different perspective. Teal’s kindness and unconditional love in this video helped me to not turn away from the hard truth again. (I’m writing this because your question is helping me process through this on a major breakthrough day. It’s more for me than anyone else, but I’m also feeling a need to be public with it, out of the closet so to speak. So I thank you very much for this good question
Because unconditional love is not even condition of what you said. Unconditional love doesn't thing about stuff like this.
@@hananemec2786 I love someone unconditionally that is punching me in the face every day, but I don't know how that heals them?
@@hananemec2786 It was Teal that suggested a condition of unconditional love > that it could 'heal' someone. Thats a condition. To me unconditional love is a way of living. In unconditional love the need for or state of healing can not exist. The idea that someone needs healing suggests a condition and who decides that condition?
This is the best information on narcissism. Still watching in 2022. This is above excellent.
Omg! I loved this. this pragmatic yet loving message went straight to my soul. I got it now and it makes perfect sense. Thank you so much Teal Swan for not demonising but understanding. Namaste.
wow, I found someone who 'knows' me although he never met me. Ben quinn you sound like a sociopath. People beware! Ben quinn can assess your personality by one comment. Psychotherapy is suppose to help people like you, who suffer from delusion of grandeur. good luck.
sophie sakura - don't put words in my mouth.
get off my back weirdo. I do as I please I don't need a sexist misogynist douchebag to tell me who to follow.
Wow, almost ten years to the day that Teal posted this one and it's still so relevant and useful.
I understand that you should love oneself, that is very true. Yes, narcissist can result from lack of feeling loved and being abused. However, every person needs balance.I believe in energy and an abundance in the Universe. "When you are Completely in alignment" each Chakra also represents ourselves and we must practice balance in order to be truly healthy and healed of our scars. For example, our "Throat Chakra" as in speaking your mind and expressing yourself when need be. Otherwise you are denying yourself and breaking your spirit and/or self slowly. You must have a balance of loving yourself and others as well. Narcissists are supposedly incapable of this (I also believe that changing mentality can change anyone as well). However, coming from a person who was raised by not only a narcissist, but a schizophrenic narcissist, Do Not tell me that Narcissism is OK. Because it's Not. Narcissism is being out of balance in their mind. There's nothing wrong with good self esteem, I have little to none myself. However, being Obsessed with yourself and manipulating and controlling your children is Wrong. Otherwise, I agree with you.
Teal Scott is a very beautiful and wise woman. Each video fills my heart with joy, thank you for sharing your wisdom Teal.
Thx ! This was the perfect video for me at this stage of my healing process.
The psycho-spiritual aspect makes perfect sense and resonates w my beliefs
This can be a tough pill to swallow for closed minded ppl, or those who haven't reached this level of awareness.
One needs to look deep inside or this info won't make sense.
***** I think so, def a symbiotic connection, like the key that fits the lock.
I can’t tell you how much peace I’ve found listening to your videos. I’d love to connect because we are having major challenges in Los Angeles and spreading your messages is SO important ❤️
Another great video thanks Teal 😊 She mentions that selfless and selfish people come from the same mentality. There is a story about the Buddha and a man who was into lavish excess. The man then became an ascetic and was as ascetic as he had been lavish. When asked about this man the Buddha said he has not changed he has only substituted asceticism for lavish excess.
This is AMAZING information! Thank you soooooo much! I got out of marriage with narciss man & I healed myself...I am so happy! Love to you!
I think it's good to be prideful, but not live off of pride. Like thinking you're to good for someone or something.
Excellent
Anything that promotes love with boundaries and not isolating a person more with a myth of being distorted beyond repair is so needed. Jxo
I understand that we need to have boundaries for ourselves when it comes to keeping to a state of happiness when associating with others. But what about people who are narcissistic in negative ways? People who try to make us feel bad about ourselves because in their narcissistic minds we are never going to reach their level. To them we are less then them as a person. This can be experienced when we have a boss who has a narcissistic personality. They talk down to you and they don't seem to like you. They don't praise you for anything you've done well. Why do people do that and how is that reflecting off of me? I must be missing something.
Did you find any answer?
I can try to help but I'm not sure what exactly the question is. I do think you're mistaken that they think they are above you. Bosses and managers generally are highly insecure and condescend people to create the illusion they want to see. Think of it as a little kid pretending to be a king or a teacher. Once you stand up to them they throw a tantrum. I've lost plenty of jobs this way.
Whenever I try to explain this to anyone, it never makes sense to the other person. It’s so easy to understand the way you tell it!
I think I come across as a
“Know it all” and I don’t know how to change that.
in order for someone to stop feeling their environment is hostile, it would help if it actually was safe first. in which case moving to mars is our only option.
N O facts