@@G-manFan1 I'm honestly torn. Because it was clear the dad would never have gotten clean in the slightest if none of that had been happening to him, and at the same time he violated a restraining order at least once so there was a high chance that he would have violated it again sooner or later....and potentially with far worse and potentially deadly results. But on the other hand, causing the dad to just keep getting arrested over and over again like that also destroyed any chance, minute though it may have been, for him to try and actually turn his life around. I was considering the OP to not be a Jerk at all until they kept getting the dad arrested over and over, and even planting drugs towards the end to get him arrested *again* makes me less sympathetic, as by that point it started to come across as needlessly and unnecessarily cruel. OP even stated that by that point in time, the guy was pretty much homeless and totally broken, and they practically drove him to attempt suicide, and that sort of thing is where I draw the line. Getting the dad to a point where he will never bother OP & their family again is one thing. Tormenting the dad to the point that he outright tries to kill himself? That's crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed in my eyes.
Story #2: As soon as he asked about the code, I'd have a foot out the door. When he kept pressing it, I'd be so gone and would have probably taken a lot of the same safety measures. Story #4: One word -- annulment.
I feel like if you marry someone, you can trust them. At the same time, there definitely would need to be a prenuptial agreement required to marry. That will deter the gold diggers who marry you to divorce you and take half. Ultimately, you're not the asshole for not telling them the code. Protect your assets. Best way to keep a secret is to tell no one. If you have to say something, tell only one person. Probably that other person should be the person in the bank opening your safety deposit box lmfao
About the jewelry story: I feel like she dodged a huge bullet with that guy. In the end everybody have their secrets and places where their partner can't go, either phisical (such as a safe) or not phisical (such as memories and the "homework" computer folder). It doesn't matter if they are married or not, the safe and it's content are hers and if she doesn't want to share the password so be it.
I agree. If anything, this guy (the now ex) has allowed his own insecurities to essentially ruin the relationship he had. It really did sound like they had something going in their relationship prior but it really all came down to the fact that this guy couldn't just keep his insecurities to himself and just pushed those boundaries that the OP has set for him as agreed upon. I honestly thought the guy might have some kind of ulterior motives, like he was probably going to steal it. But I think that probably would be the more easier theory. And the reader for the video mentioned a top comment of the guy wanting to flex this, thus, this guy would be a great security risk. And once the wrong crowd catches wind of this, a multitude of different scenarios would happen such as a home robbery or just get the code from the guy in some way possible. I doubt that he would keep that a secret if the guy was threatened with even the most minimal of physical violence. I do hope that the OP would find a partner would be perfect for her and would respect the boundaries, where her ex had failed to do.
For that cancer case. She could have just brought the son along to the hospital, OR he could have brought the son along to the meet up. Like do couples not compromise anymore
Taking the child with her to the hospital might not have been an option, some hospitals don't allow children below a certain age in the oncology wards unless its the paediatric wing. For the OP, going with his son for a visit is more workable but I don’t know why he didn't consider it. Am sure his son would have loved to see grandma. You are right though, a bit of compromise is needed though I don't think OP will be up for it since he seems to dislike his wife's friend.
@@Azulakayes At the same time I'm concerned about the wife being so obsessed about visiting her male friend when he could probably use a day or two being alone. Us men aren't so fragile we need a friend at all times while fighting cancer. Like dude isn't on his deathbed or anything lol why you mad your HUSBAND wants to go meet HIS FAMILY?
@@BillyAoki Husband can go meet his family he just has to actually take care of his fucking kid after days a week, which seems to be kryptonite to a lot of men in this comment section.
@@britishbisexualbitch9479 But at the same time the wife doesn't always have to go, leaving him to not be able to always do stuff and he's already done it for so long, what's 1 day gonna hurt?
Story #3. I think the husband and wife need to sit and talk about this. If the husband has appointments that were made before hand and he has to constantly cancel, that can be hurtful, like you are not cared about by your spouse. They should be open about their schedules and be kind. Cancer is horrible to go through. I hope the wife wouldn't completely ignore her husband and child to focus only on her friend at all times.
In the story the wife only went to see her friend when he was going through chemo and not all times of the day. The husband should be able to let her see her friend on the days he is going through chemo
@@paudelkancho3017 yeah I agree with you at some parts but the husband keeps having his plans cancelled over and over again and this can wear a person down the husband needs a break from that and also the husband might not be available on the chemo days so that might cause some problems so she either needs to give the children to the grandparents or if they don’t have any she needs to stay home and give her husband a break she’s making it seem like the husband can’t have a life on the chemo days I mean it seams the husband would be fine for a couple days of this but not constantly he just needs a break because if he has a job idk if does but let’s just say that he does so if he had a job then those days the buddy goes to chemo might be a work day or his only day off that week sorry I made this a little to long
Did he even try telling her that he needs to know the chemo schedule in advance? That he needs a certain amount of notice to make sure he’s available to watch the kids? Of course not - that’s not a detail you’d leave out, unless it didn’t even cross your mind. He didn’t want a fair compromise, he wants her to arrange her entire life around his convenience. It’s disturbing how many guys see their wife as a personal servant, not an equal partner. The pattern is painfully obvious to everyone (except, of course, to other guys who are the same way!) and this dude checks every box.
@@red.maned.unicornwait wait wait. Did she ever tell him the days for the friends chemo? That should be her job. Don't try and put this all on him. You said he wants her to arrange her life around him but actually it the other way around. It's his plans that keep getting changed for what she wants. She can't keep putting him out for her friend. Him and the baby should come first.
Story one leaves me in an uncomfortable place. The father is a terrible, horrible man, but as someone that sees things from the outside i’m torn. They could’ve tried to get him into rehab at a certain point but they don’t mention it, so I suppose they didn’t/didn’t think it was worth it… at a certain point he was clean, he might be easily be convinced to go into rehab, get out of that place… If at a certain point, he even tried to kill himself… Op’s father is one of the worst fathers i ever heard of, but op too went too far I believe
@@Hex_the_hexagon Yeah, you've never been to prison. It exacerbates personality disorders, drug problems and the rest. Most people don't come out of prison MORE well adjusted. Especially if they know their own family keeps vindictively sending them there. Like I'd be pissed off too if the people who keep sending me to prison for BS wouldn't even help me when I get out. Like what the mom is superior cause she turned herself in and gave up her kids for atonement? Even though she got a ridiculously lesser punishment and he later attempts to kill himself?
I mean if he stopping doing drugs then his problem would of been fixed he can put himself in rehab but thats what happens when you do stupid illegal shit.
Story 1: he wasn’t a complete jerk until they hid substances for the cops to find, the intentional targeting was a bit jerkish, but in my opinion, they weren’t jerks until they hid the drugs intentionally
Nah, think about how OP worded them going to their grandmother's house. No matter the weather, no matter the time, no matter how cold or hot it was he'd be kicked out the only place he had to stay (noting that they've called the cops on him before for sleeping outside) I'm not a betting man, but 10k or my left nut that the day the dad tried to come back while they were there was in the middle of winter and they were staying the night. They kept forcing him into a smaller and smaller more confined world, even using his own mother against him. And when they finally get what they want and have completely broken him to the point where HE WANTS TO DIE and SHOT HIMSELF they then plant drugs in his room. Like imagine, waking up in the hospital, finding out your going to federal prison for drug charges, you cry out that it can't be true, you were living with your mom she knows you were clean. Course mom stopped caring about you, you already gave her grandchildren and that's all she wanted from you anyways. So she tells the police they're yours and that you're an addict. The sentence is already cast, no one will ever believe you. By the time you get out your mom will probably be dead and you have no idea if when you get out if its all gonna start happening again. Like OP needs to realize that he has taken so much from his father at this point that if his father finds out what OP and OP's family have done to him that the only thing left for his dad will be revenge.
"I told him he isn't getting the code and I will die on this hill." This is probably one of the most random things you could ever think of out of context...
I’ve had chemo treatment, and there’s no room in the treatment room for visitors to be there. My first treatment, was in a private room, so that I could get accustomed to the procedure, also a friend or family member was welcome also, but once the treatments are done in the “big room”, there’s only room for patients.
@@cubed_gd there is nothing she could do for him. During nor after his treatment. Oh wait yes the only thing she could've done was drive him home. I know first hand my ""MOTHER""R.I.H. had cancer After her treatments she was wore out. She ate a lil food and wanted to sleep. So the wife being there as much as she was. Was really not needed.
#2 no, it doesnt matter if they are married or not, Id NEVER give them a code to a safe that i OWNED before we got married. The fact the BF was THAT obsessed with getting the code to a safe with a 6 figured gem collection, kind of makes me think hes plotting to brag to his buddies & then she'll end up getting "robbed" which he'll pretend he did everything he could to stop it (maybe even get hurt a little, to make it seem legit) but he'll end up leaving due to 'no trust from his GF/cant take the pressure of dating any more, but in reality he'll leave & take a cut from his buddies that stole the gems & leave her broke 😡 he a jerk, she isnt.
For the gem collection marriage doesn't matter. It's HER collection not his. If he wants to see it just ask, there is no other reason to open the safe without her permission.
Story #2: The boyfriend is trippin. It would be one thing if they were married and in business with each other but that's not the case. He has absolutely no right to know the code to the safe and him insisting to have it is a huge red flag. Even if his intentions aren't to steal from her initially, he might be tempted to in the future if he falls on hard times or he might do it out of spite if they had a big fight or broke up. Even if she's able to prove it was him and get him arrested over it, it doesn't sound like he has any money or assets to go after so she'll still be out of the money that she invested in the stones and if she has them insured, they might refuse to pay her since she recklessly gave away the code to her safe smh. And as another redditor pointed out, he might use his access to the stones to brag and show off to the wrong people that ends up in them getting stolen or a scary home invasion scenario where some bad people break down their door and hold them at gunpoint demanding access to the safe, then possibly murdering them in the process or after they get what they want if they get nervous about the OP or her boyfriend being able to identify them to the police. In all honesty, I think that the OP should put the safe in a more hidden location and not even let future lovers even know about it in the first place because it's none of their business at the end of the day.
Massive red flag for that last story. Is she going to accuse him of "enforcing his ethnicity" every time he does something pertaining to his culture? Does she expect him to cut that part of himself off? When they have kids, will she resent their father sharing his culture with them?
Probably. To me, it seems she Is controling freak who lost it when things dont go her way. I'm pretty sure they will divorce in 1 or 2 (maybe even 3) bs she can't stand (even if Is nice) it when it doesn't go her way. Poor future kids. Bet they will have to deal a lot with this kind of Mother. Sorry for my garbige English
The story with the guys wife going with a friend to chemo therapy. It is fine if she is going with her friend to chemotherapy, the problem is that she is skipping her sons birthday and dumping a lot of responsibility’s on her husband. This isn’t okay.
@@antimations904 no no he has to plan it all keep the child okay and not cry because his mom literally bailed on him to see some friend instead of her blood
Story 1 was awful, I can't believe what the dad did, BUT why the HECK would you frame him while he's weak in a HOSPITAL what an awful thing to do to someone just so cruel and heartless!
For story #1… I think they are both jerks. The father should have never treated them like that OR threatened them. HOWEVER that doesn’t mean the family should put him through so much pain. The reasonable solution was to have him put in jail for a longer time than usual and have a restraining order. I mean at least let him rehabilitate himself. Don’t put of through so much pain.
Yeah after they got the restraining order he didn't come back, they sought him out. It was cruel and honestly kind of evil, especially all for stuff OP doesn't remember that he heard secondhand from his mom.
Story #4: No freaking way the OP is the jerk, I would cry if my future partner sang at my wedding, I don't understand what was wrong with the bride in the story? Yeah Weddings are nerve wracking sometimes but you got to learn to relax once in a while and just have fun, be happy with your new husband? Definitely not the jerk.
Story 3: So I can actually see both sides here. The wife is trying to be there for her friend and the husband does not want to shoulder extra burden due to her absence. I do not believe the OP is insinuating an affair but more so stating that this should not affect the home dynamic. With the information provided, I do not see either as a jerk. The wife wants to be there for her friend and she does have the right to do so. The OP wants to maintain his social capabilities and not be hampered by this. I think the biggest question to ask is the following: is OP scheduling these social days during days he knows the wife will be out? Why is this important? Because then that will determine who is the jerk, in my opinion. If OP is making these social days on days he *knows* the wife will not be there then that is messed up. However, the opposite is also true. If the wife is aware of certain days and does not tell OP then that is messed up. So really, for me, I cannot call either a jerk until I know the cause of the scheduling issues.
exactly my opinion. I think they would both benefit from being really proactive about their schedules and getting things on a calendar. That way they are doing their upmost to try and respect everyone's needs. If OP knew that he was seeing his mom a month out and it's hard to coordinate plans with her, then he shouldn't have to cancel on her. Likewise, if OP knows that a chemo session is scheduled on X date a few weeks out, then he should plan on being with his son rather than meeting up with friends
This story reads like an anime or manga/mahnwa and in fact COULD be one. This reads more like the friend is an old EX of the wife, possibly a first love, I find it REALLY hard that he has NO ONE at all. It's one thing to support a friend at one or two chemo sessions or after but it reads more like she is caring for them almost on a DAILY basis if not a weekly basis. There is something much more to this story than the OP let in probably due to privacy factors
Man imagine being crippled by someone you don't get along with, it sucks that he has cancer but fuck him. They need to have an agreement where both the wife and him feel they got scammed haha.
Story 1: he wasn't a jerk till he said they put drugs in his dresser. like he could've been clean and you sent him to jail again for no reason so that part makes you now the jerk
Story 3 OP is not the jerk. Yeah its important for his wife to help her old friend out, but the OP needs to spend time with his mom, sister, and friends. They should set up a agreement for every other tome they get to do their own thing so they are both happy. but thats just my opinion.
I think the woman in that last story isn't actually mad about the original poster "enforcing his ethnicity". I think she's just mad that the attention was taken off of her. Whatever the case may be her acting that way and getting mad over her husband trying to do a genuinely nice gesture for her is a huge red flag if you ask me. Kind of like how Will Smith for his wife's 40th birthday he spent all this money and put in all this effort to trace her family roots back as far as he could and he tried to make her birthday as a spectacular as he possibly could and then at the end of it all she claimed that he was a jerk and was just trying to stroke his own ego. If you go out of your way to do something nice for your partner and they get mad at you for it and claim that you're trying to do something that has nothing to do with what you actually did that's probably going to end up being a pretty toxic relationship and probably not something that you want to be a part of.
the issue I have with the last story is the fact is seems the wife isn't considering the husband's schedule at all. I don't know if he's not telling her schedule or something but it really feels like the husband sets out a plan and doesn't get to do it. I mean I get it, a couple of times the husband can cancel, especially when it's his friends. The final straw was with his mom and his sister, who knows when the last time he saw them and he clearly cannot make plans to see them because the wife is dumping all this responsibility to care for their kid every time. Some more communication is needed for sure if this is a scheduling issue. Anthony will need to let the wife know his appointments ahead of time, at least a week in advance so the husband can work around or something. At least allow the husband to do what he wants while also allowing the wife to support her friend. I mean, right now, the husband isn't allowed to do what he wants whatsoever and is forced to drop plans while we have no clue if the wife is doing the same.
I do believe that the safe story could have been about insecurities. But instead of a normal room, it's a safe, not a room per se. My former Boss had such a room in his house for his collection of old weapons and his wife didn't know the code either. She respected that
I think that the OP in story 1 was kinda going over the line, but I can’t blame them because the dad had used substances and violated a restraining order
Story 2: as someone who saw my grandpa on his deathbed and then heard the news he died from family, I was heartbroken. Suddenly I had all these regrets of not seeing him more. Quick backstory, my mom was pregnant with a guy named Terry. That baby was me. I’m 10 years old now and they split up before I was even born. My Grandpa on Terry’s side had something wrong with his bones and had the option to get them scrubbed (painful) or live out the rest of his days. I was crushed when I heard he died. I cried myself to sleep for an hour before finally sleeping but was still crushed. So, I know it’s not the same, but if someone said that I couldn’t see him for one last time I would’ve reacted the same.
I feel like the second story, totally not the jerk. Having boundaries like that makes sense, especially with something very valuable. I feel like if they were married it might be a different story, but like have been married a while, in for the long haul kind of married they could probably then trust the other just in case.
Story 3: not a jerk, in my eyes she's putting this friend over everything else and it's not right, chemo or not, he already had plans and she tried guilt tripping him into canceling so she can go with Anthony, Anthony will be fine at chemo by himself, he doesn't need someone holding his hand like a child, so in my eyes he is not the jerk here, the wife's loyalty just lies in the wrong place
For the second story. It would be different if they were married. After all, men share their bank accounts and so forth with their wives. But if they came to an understanding before they got married, then it would be ok for her to keep it private.
Even if I was married, it's not my business. Yes legally without a clear contract outlined it gets messy, but as a matter of principle I'd say yeah that's your private area and things
The new bride got made because her new husband sang a special song to her at the wedding reception? I'd say go get the marriage annulled immediately. She is going to make his life a living hades.
#2 op was right, it’s her collection, she has all rights to keep her business and her belongings secure. boyfriend/partner regardless she can choose to not tell the code. #3 I can see both sides of the story, and can’t place significant blame on either, I say hire a babysitter next time
The point of a safe is that it locks and others can't access it, making the things inside...SAFE. If others can access it then you might as well put everything in a plain old cabinet because that's about how "safe" it would be.
S3: It's bit of both. The husband is dealing with neglect and losing personal freedoms over a guy he never got along with but his wife is dedicated toward. At the same time, the guy is dealing with cancer and has no one else...so it's something both need to actually discuss. If anything, it's more on her since he's allowed it to go on for a while now and when he'd make attempts to discuss it, she'd shut it down. I get how that can feel when you have immediate family reaching out to help people outside the home or give them more attention than those you live with just because of circumstances. You can't get mad at the guy because he's sick, it's just a mess all around.
Story 1: I would say the final part was being a jerk as you planted evidence into his room to get him arrested. How do you not know that that was the time he was trying his hardest to get clean and you screwed it up for him? Story 2: Another reason why people need to stop moving in together before marriage. If they were married, though, I would ask to see inside so I know what's in there but I would also respect her enough to not badger her for the code. Of course, if collecting gems was her biggest hobby, she does need to make sure to marry someone who is at least somewhat interested in it and would at least enjoy having her show him her collection and hearing the stories behind them. Story 3: We really need more content before deciding if he is the jerk. Why doesn't he like the friend (jealousy maybe)? Does the wife tell the husband when the chemo treatments are scheduled in advance or does she just tell him the night before? Does he get upset at most times the she goes with her friend or is supported but also feels like she is putting her friend over her husband? Too many variables to determine Story 4: Classic example of Bridezilla. I guess she doesn't like spontaneousness cause...wow.
Story 1: he completely chose to get back on substances because his new gf had money he chose that path and forced the OPs mom to take substances to keep them together he’s deserved to go to jail
It’s OK if she wants to go visit her friend in chemotherapy but that does not give her the right to make the husband do all the work and chemotherapy does suck but the husband should not be affected by this
yeah to me it seems like the Husband doesn't care now I would understand if something was Fishy Between the Wife and her friend but now she's just trying to support her Friend cuz he has no one else also, he could most likely invite his Mother and Sister over to the house as I'm sure they wouldn't mind. but no he decides to make a mountain out of a molehill so yeah I'm going to say jerk
@@YuriKaroki19 it wasn't just his parents it was other things as well that he possibly had planned before she said she was going to the chemo with her friend or before the appointment for chemo was even set
@@tiredcaffeine4610 so the OP is intentionally scheduling things to conflict with the appointments? That would make him an extra special AH, if that’s the case.
Revenge is not the way. What the dad in the first story did is messed up, really messed up, but, all of that pain, for years, from what I understood, he wasn't even trying to harass them anymore, and they put some substances in his dresser? This revenge has so much cruelty that it isn't even funny, of course the Op is on the right side of the law, but morally? Both sided are pretty messed up I recon.
Story number three has me thankful of how my wife and I are towards each other. We both hold how the other feels at the top of our priorities. If either one of us don't like someone then that person isn't included in either of our friends group. It doesn't matter why one of us may not like the person. If my wife says she doesn't like so and so then so and so becomes persona non grata, the same goes for people that I don't like. It may sound harsh but we live our lives for us (and family), no one else.
I understand. I've had a couple of relationships end because of friends my partner at the time had. They were party girls and sure enough girls nights, booze and cheating. Now I feel like veto power on both ends is reasonable
Story 4, yeah that bride was being a bridzilla. Everything had to be her way, it's all about her. God, I am so glad I am gay so I don't have to worry about a bride wanting what she wants. Yeah I feel sorry for my brothers when they want to marry a woman.
Remember, the only word we have on that is from the mom herself. And with how batshit crazy OP is I doubt she was telling any of the past honestly lest she attract the revenge.
Story 3 raises alarm bells. Wife will drop everything at this guy's call?! No way this would end well. Plus he has nobody else, absolutely nobody?! Can't join a support group or anything it has to be OPs wife. Super Sus.
Story 3 For me my uncle died of stage four cancer I didn’t really care as I never knew him and he rarely visited but for my mum it was horrible and the last time I saw him he was pale, and when I say pale he looked like bleach was thrown on him. I overheard conversations about how he was sick and had to go through surgery he got this all from being a snicker and a heavy alcohol I’m a atheist but I still wish that he goes somewhere great.
for story 4, the guy is not a jerk, guy had the best intentions to make his wife happy. the wife probably understood the reasoning behind that song wrongly, so she thinks that her husband "enforces his etnicity". lmao. as for the story 3, I cannot say both are jerks, but I can say that the wife does not need to put lots of responsibility on her husband, but what husband could've done was take his kid to the appointment.
For the lady in situation number 2. I really don't understand men like that. You have a girlfriend that apparently loves you a lot, is willing to actually share her space with you, has a career and works a lot on top of being very responsible, and you would be ready to fuck that relationship up because you want the combination to a safe you DO NOT NEED TO ACCESS at ANY TIME!? I'm was too shy to ask my ex-wife the Netflix password! Nevermind a safe! Situation #4: Is it too late to back out of the wedding? I'm seriously asking. If someone is going to use the word "Ethnicity" in an argument, maaaaaybe she's not the person for you? I mean... I was married with a middle-eastern woman, and I've never said "That's because of your ethnicity" in any argument. Then again, I got divorced, so the fuck do I know?
And if you listen at the #4 she mentioned "stealing the spotlight" I thought weddings were celebrations for both of them? Like it's a wedding, and the song was sang to her, so again it was brought back to her honestly I don't get why she was upset, he's just trying to make her feel good! And the song, as the person from the vid said, was literally important to them, yet she turned it around. I feel like all she wanted was attention.
@@sleepyraygunYou've never dealt with a drug addict before. They're dangerous and horrible. I don't blame them for a minute for constantly getting him put in prison
Not even married. Not everything needs to be revealed in marriage. This is a protection for both of you. People share valuable information to the Wrong people all the time. Sometimes what you don't know can protect you
Jewelry story: she dodged a bullet, there's no way he wasn't going to be checking out those gems when she's not around, plus he really has absolutely no reason to need the code, it's not his stuff.
second to last Story: Only question that needs asked in my opinion is....IF the OP liked wife's friend and they got along great, would the OP have a problem with the wife being their for THEIR sick friend?
The thing with the friend with cancer is that we don't have the backstory of their friendship. Family is not just define by blood, it also can be define by strong friendship and obviously she cares a lot about him. Nobody would have question it if it was her brother. The guy is actually pissed about being "burden" with being a father, which is what he signed for. That 50/50 child responsability is beyond me, you take care of them when you have to and that's it. Don't make kids if you think of them as burden.
For story one i dont think they were a jerk but driving hi to suicide was bad. And Them putting substancens in his hospital ccabinet to say hes doing them is pretty wrong in my opinion.
bro for the 3rd story I understand why the husband is upset at the wife for literally dropping everything for her friend's chemo therapy. like the husband also has his commitments and like she's telling him not to go for them. I mean the fact that she said that the lunch with his sister and mother wasn't important kind of rubbed me the wrong way because maybe they wanted to discuss family matters or may get some terrible news that equally as bad. I also refuse to believe that the friend really only has the wife to be by her side since the wife's female friends were supporting her. if that's the case then they can also visit. in my opinion the wife is being a jerk at the very least or may be doing something fishy at the most since she literally drops everything including her son for this guy and this may make her son hate her for abandoning him for some guy he doesn't even know
About the Anthony story, I would've divorce the wife quick. She's leaving the guy she's married to and her kid to go see some man. Granted, she's leaving her kid with his father and that's good but, when it comes to the point where life with a stranger is actually cutting into the time with your own child, it's time to take a step back and redirect your priorities a bit. The person telling story is not a jerk. Supporting someone throughout something is okay and taking care of the kid is a *must* but, he needs time for himself too. He can't be expected to drop his plans for someone he doesn't even prioritize all time just because, the other one in the relationship does.
Story#3 I think the guy sort of is and is not the jerk. On the jerk side, cancer is no joke and giving support for people in such a situation is not a bad thing to do. He could have tried to find a compromise of sorts, but the wife didn't seem to want to listen anyway. On the not jerk side, From what I could tell from the story, it seems to me that because the wife is seeing the guy with cancer to be supportive so much, she is shirking her responsibilities as a mother onto the father without any regard as to how that affects him. Not only that but from what i can tell, the wife doesn't seem willing to compromise. I understand that the guy with cancer would need a lot of support, but I believe you would still have to take into account how you not being able to parent your own kid or kids affects your spouse and their life. Even if you want to support someone going through a rough time, thats not an excuse to drop everything you're doing with your life for them, especially if you have a family of your own.
Both stories where great. Wonderful the mover had the children first and everyone should have their own space and privacy. He sounded controlling and disrespectful.
Story 3: I think the wife over promised her time. She should have told her friend that she would be there for him as much as she could. He's an adult and would understand that she would have other family obligations. The last story: I think the bride forgot it was THEIR wedding and not just HER wedding.
This is about the censer story, he is not a jerk at all, two month ago my grandpa pass away from censer, after having it for a bit over a year and a half. It was terrible I felt so bad I couldn't even go see him after a year, we weren't close which made it worse. My mom was with him all the time and even though I understood she needs to be there, it is her dad, it also got in our home, when she was home she would talk about him all the time, which was emotionally draining, and I would barely see her because she was always in the hospital with him, there was a point where I just wanted her to be my mom again and i feel like that is the under line message of this guy, he just wants his wife back
Store #3: I think the fault is on both sides. Fault on the husband for not being more understanding. Probably due to him never truly experiencing what’s it like to be in that situation. However, fault on the wife for not coordinating with the husband. With chemo/radiation, you make these appointments sometimes in weeks or months in advance. The wife should be more considerate and get the chemo schedule from her friend so at least the husband can plan around those dates since he is taking care of the son and other matters so she could go. Also, at the beginning of the narrative, I might be wrong but the way the husband phrased it made it sound like she spent a lot of time with Anthony long before he was diagnosed with cancer. I don’t know, but if I was the husband, I would feel self conscience if my wife was spending a great portion of her time with a single bachelor. If that is the case, the husband should have confronted her about it sooner. Seems like an issue with communication to me.
federal prison is actually like a hotel your cell is guarded by a door,no solitary confinement,your family can visit and more time outside than state prisons
Bruh if my wife said she needs to go with a friend that need chemotherapy at certain days and if she keeps going I would say if you love him so much you might as well sign divorce papers so you can be with him
Clearly you've never had a close friend or family member suffer from cancer and you being their primary support. Asking your partner to watch your kid once a week or once every couple of weeks so they can be there for their closest friend during probably the worst experiences of their life is not hard to do. It's called being considerate and willing to take on the extra burden for their sake because you love them. Just cause you don't like the friend doesn't mean you need to place extra burdens on your partner who's doing everything they can to help out a sick friend. Maybe you should reflect on why your partner showing a lot of attention to a someone else in this context bothers you so much.
Wait! Something I don't understand, OP's wife is the only friend and the only one this guy with cancer can depend on? If she's the only friend this guy has -- something smells fishy.
Best advice for the safe is to get a bigger safe and put the smaller one inside it, then give him the bigger safe code, so he still can’t get to the gems
Story 1 on one hand I feel for the dad since I’ve dealt with people with substance problems, on the other hand he is a piece of crap who doesn’t want to fix his problems. Story 2 that is super sus for him to want to know the combo for a safe he shouldn’t get into, even married it is. My pessimistic side says he may steal it and run off since it’s worth so much, not married or married it is dangerous
I personally think that even in marriage there needs to be a prenup and insurance on them. If you feel comfortable with giving your partner the code so be it but it's probably never going to be the person that hounds you for the code that's trusted with it.
Story #2 not the jerk u said no end of conversation if u were married the same this is all yours you earned it why does he insist on on having the code my Spidey senses are tingling
![[UA] NAVI проти G2 Esports | Blast Premier Fall Final](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QWlIm4FGESQ/mqdefault.jpg)
props to the mom in first story for putting her kids' needs first
agreed
agreed
agreed
agreed
Agreed
Story 1 Is so crazy. He’s not a jerk, he’s a genius.
I'd give him like 0.5/5 for setting him up at the end though
I'd give the dad 4/5 and the person 1.5/5 for being so cruel to him
@@G-manFan1 I'm honestly torn. Because it was clear the dad would never have gotten clean in the slightest if none of that had been happening to him, and at the same time he violated a restraining order at least once so there was a high chance that he would have violated it again sooner or later....and potentially with far worse and potentially deadly results. But on the other hand, causing the dad to just keep getting arrested over and over again like that also destroyed any chance, minute though it may have been, for him to try and actually turn his life around.
I was considering the OP to not be a Jerk at all until they kept getting the dad arrested over and over, and even planting drugs towards the end to get him arrested *again* makes me less sympathetic, as by that point it started to come across as needlessly and unnecessarily cruel. OP even stated that by that point in time, the guy was pretty much homeless and totally broken, and they practically drove him to attempt suicide, and that sort of thing is where I draw the line. Getting the dad to a point where he will never bother OP & their family again is one thing. Tormenting the dad to the point that he outright tries to kill himself? That's crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed in my eyes.
Nah they over did it
He is his father's son alright, just as disgusting an individual.
Story #2: As soon as he asked about the code, I'd have a foot out the door. When he kept pressing it, I'd be so gone and would have probably taken a lot of the same safety measures.
Story #4: One word -- annulment.
Or divorce, the guy is being suspicious
I feel like if you marry someone, you can trust them. At the same time, there definitely would need to be a prenuptial agreement required to marry. That will deter the gold diggers who marry you to divorce you and take half. Ultimately, you're not the asshole for not telling them the code. Protect your assets. Best way to keep a secret is to tell no one. If you have to say something, tell only one person. Probably that other person should be the person in the bank opening your safety deposit box lmfao
About the jewelry story: I feel like she dodged a huge bullet with that guy. In the end everybody have their secrets and places where their partner can't go, either phisical (such as a safe) or not phisical (such as memories and the "homework" computer folder).
It doesn't matter if they are married or not, the safe and it's content are hers and if she doesn't want to share the password so be it.
I agree. If anything, this guy (the now ex) has allowed his own insecurities to essentially ruin the relationship he had. It really did sound like they had something going in their relationship prior but it really all came down to the fact that this guy couldn't just keep his insecurities to himself and just pushed those boundaries that the OP has set for him as agreed upon.
I honestly thought the guy might have some kind of ulterior motives, like he was probably going to steal it. But I think that probably would be the more easier theory. And the reader for the video mentioned a top comment of the guy wanting to flex this, thus, this guy would be a great security risk. And once the wrong crowd catches wind of this, a multitude of different scenarios would happen such as a home robbery or just get the code from the guy in some way possible. I doubt that he would keep that a secret if the guy was threatened with even the most minimal of physical violence.
I do hope that the OP would find a partner would be perfect for her and would respect the boundaries, where her ex had failed to do.
*coughs* physical* *coughs*
damn, gotta change the name of my folder now
when I see these types of stories I just then become more grateful about my parents and that they are not even close to this.
For that cancer case.
She could have just brought the son along to the hospital, OR he could have brought the son along to the meet up.
Like do couples not compromise anymore
Taking the child with her to the hospital might not have been an option, some hospitals don't allow children below a certain age in the oncology wards unless its the paediatric wing. For the OP, going with his son for a visit is more workable but I don’t know why he didn't consider it. Am sure his son would have loved to see grandma. You are right though, a bit of compromise is needed though I don't think OP will be up for it since he seems to dislike his wife's friend.
@@Azulakayes At the same time I'm concerned about the wife being so obsessed about visiting her male friend when he could probably use a day or two being alone. Us men aren't so fragile we need a friend at all times while fighting cancer.
Like dude isn't on his deathbed or anything lol why you mad your HUSBAND wants to go meet HIS FAMILY?
@@BillyAoki Husband can go meet his family he just has to actually take care of his fucking kid after days a week, which seems to be kryptonite to a lot of men in this comment section.
@@britishbisexualbitch9479 But at the same time the wife doesn't always have to go, leaving him to not be able to always do stuff and he's already done it for so long, what's 1 day gonna hurt?
Ikr*
Story #3. I think the husband and wife need to sit and talk about this. If the husband has appointments that were made before hand and he has to constantly cancel, that can be hurtful, like you are not cared about by your spouse. They should be open about their schedules and be kind. Cancer is horrible to go through. I hope the wife wouldn't completely ignore her husband and child to focus only on her friend at all times.
As you can see at the drop of a dime. She is jumping to be by her so called friends side.
It's like she only cares about him.
In the story the wife only went to see her friend when he was going through chemo and not all times of the day. The husband should be able to let her see her friend on the days he is going through chemo
@@paudelkancho3017 yeah I agree with you at some parts but the husband keeps having his plans cancelled over and over again and this can wear a person down the husband needs a break from that and also the husband might not be available on the chemo days so that might cause some problems so she either needs to give the children to the grandparents or if they don’t have any she needs to stay home and give her husband a break she’s making it seem like the husband can’t have a life on the chemo days I mean it seams the husband would be fine for a couple days of this but not constantly he just needs a break because if he has a job idk if does but let’s just say that he does so if he had a job then those days the buddy goes to chemo might be a work day or his only day off that week sorry I made this a little to long
Did he even try telling her that he needs to know the chemo schedule in advance? That he needs a certain amount of notice to make sure he’s available to watch the kids? Of course not - that’s not a detail you’d leave out, unless it didn’t even cross your mind. He didn’t want a fair compromise, he wants her to arrange her entire life around his convenience.
It’s disturbing how many guys see their wife as a personal servant, not an equal partner. The pattern is painfully obvious to everyone (except, of course, to other guys who are the same way!) and this dude checks every box.
@@red.maned.unicornwait wait wait. Did she ever tell him the days for the friends chemo? That should be her job. Don't try and put this all on him. You said he wants her to arrange her life around him but actually it the other way around. It's his plans that keep getting changed for what she wants. She can't keep putting him out for her friend. Him and the baby should come first.
Story one leaves me in an uncomfortable place.
The father is a terrible, horrible man, but as someone that sees things from the outside i’m torn.
They could’ve tried to get him into rehab at a certain point but they don’t mention it, so I suppose they didn’t/didn’t think it was worth it… at a certain point he was clean, he might be easily be convinced to go into rehab, get out of that place…
If at a certain point, he even tried to kill himself…
Op’s father is one of the worst fathers i ever heard of, but op too went too far I believe
I agree
I also agree
I disagree he should have gone farther
@@Hex_the_hexagon Yeah, you've never been to prison.
It exacerbates personality disorders, drug problems and the rest.
Most people don't come out of prison MORE well adjusted. Especially if they know their own family keeps vindictively sending them there.
Like I'd be pissed off too if the people who keep sending me to prison for BS wouldn't even help me when I get out.
Like what the mom is superior cause she turned herself in and gave up her kids for atonement? Even though she got a ridiculously lesser punishment and he later attempts to kill himself?
I mean if he stopping doing drugs then his problem would of been fixed he can put himself in rehab but thats what happens when you do stupid illegal shit.
Story 1: he wasn’t a complete jerk until they hid substances for the cops to find, the intentional targeting was a bit jerkish, but in my opinion, they weren’t jerks until they hid the drugs intentionally
Nah, think about how OP worded them going to their grandmother's house.
No matter the weather, no matter the time, no matter how cold or hot it was he'd be kicked out the only place he had to stay (noting that they've called the cops on him before for sleeping outside)
I'm not a betting man, but 10k or my left nut that the day the dad tried to come back while they were there was in the middle of winter and they were staying the night.
They kept forcing him into a smaller and smaller more confined world, even using his own mother against him.
And when they finally get what they want and have completely broken him to the point where HE WANTS TO DIE and SHOT HIMSELF they then plant drugs in his room.
Like imagine, waking up in the hospital, finding out your going to federal prison for drug charges, you cry out that it can't be true, you were living with your mom she knows you were clean.
Course mom stopped caring about you, you already gave her grandchildren and that's all she wanted from you anyways. So she tells the police they're yours and that you're an addict.
The sentence is already cast, no one will ever believe you. By the time you get out your mom will probably be dead and you have no idea if when you get out if its all gonna start happening again.
Like OP needs to realize that he has taken so much from his father at this point that if his father finds out what OP and OP's family have done to him that the only thing left for his dad will be revenge.
"I told him he isn't getting the code and I will die on this hill."
This is probably one of the most random things you could ever think of out of context...
It means that she will not giving him the code even if he did anything
@@Hi_its_me_willI already know what it means... that's why I wrote out of context...
I’ve had chemo treatment, and there’s no room in the treatment room for visitors to be there. My first treatment, was in a private room, so that I could get accustomed to the procedure, also a friend or family member was welcome also, but once the treatments are done in the “big room”, there’s only room for patients.
Then she may be cheating
I never saw my mother when she had any treatment. I live in Finland btw
Maybe she was outside the room?
@@cubed_gd there is nothing she could do for him. During nor after his treatment. Oh wait yes the only thing she could've done was drive him home.
I know first hand my ""MOTHER""R.I.H. had cancer
After her treatments she was wore out. She ate a lil food and wanted to sleep. So the wife being there as much as she was. Was really not needed.
No way. I always went with my Dad to his chemo appointment. It was a huge place and a lot of patients had some one with them.
#2 no, it doesnt matter if they are married or not, Id NEVER give them a code to a safe that i OWNED before we got married. The fact the BF was THAT obsessed with getting the code to a safe with a 6 figured gem collection, kind of makes me think hes plotting to brag to his buddies & then she'll end up getting "robbed" which he'll pretend he did everything he could to stop it (maybe even get hurt a little, to make it seem legit) but he'll end up leaving due to 'no trust from his GF/cant take the pressure of dating any more, but in reality he'll leave & take a cut from his buddies that stole the gems & leave her broke 😡 he a jerk, she isnt.
Definitely a possibility, with how insistent he was on getting that code
For the gem collection marriage doesn't matter. It's HER collection not his. If he wants to see it just ask, there is no other reason to open the safe without her permission.
Story #2: The boyfriend is trippin. It would be one thing if they were married and in business with each other but that's not the case. He has absolutely no right to know the code to the safe and him insisting to have it is a huge red flag. Even if his intentions aren't to steal from her initially, he might be tempted to in the future if he falls on hard times or he might do it out of spite if they had a big fight or broke up. Even if she's able to prove it was him and get him arrested over it, it doesn't sound like he has any money or assets to go after so she'll still be out of the money that she invested in the stones and if she has them insured, they might refuse to pay her since she recklessly gave away the code to her safe smh.
And as another redditor pointed out, he might use his access to the stones to brag and show off to the wrong people that ends up in them getting stolen or a scary home invasion scenario where some bad people break down their door and hold them at gunpoint demanding access to the safe, then possibly murdering them in the process or after they get what they want if they get nervous about the OP or her boyfriend being able to identify them to the police.
In all honesty, I think that the OP should put the safe in a more hidden location and not even let future lovers even know about it in the first place because it's none of their business at the end of the day.
Massive red flag for that last story.
Is she going to accuse him of "enforcing his ethnicity" every time he does something pertaining to his culture?
Does she expect him to cut that part of himself off?
When they have kids, will she resent their father sharing his culture with them?
Probably.
To me, it seems she Is controling freak who lost it when things dont go her way.
I'm pretty sure they will divorce in 1 or 2 (maybe even 3) bs she can't stand (even if Is nice) it when it doesn't go her way.
Poor future kids. Bet they will have to deal a lot with this kind of Mother.
Sorry for my garbige English
Miki patka Your English is better than my [whatever language you speak].
Not to mention "steal the spotlight" its his wedding too its not just about her fuck that
The story with the guys wife going with a friend to chemo therapy. It is fine if she is going with her friend to chemotherapy, the problem is that she is skipping her sons birthday and dumping a lot of responsibility’s on her husband. This isn’t okay.
You know the responsibility your talking about is called being a father.
@@antimations904 no no he has to plan it all keep the child okay and not cry because his mom literally bailed on him to see some friend instead of her blood
@@antimations904 not to mention working as well but get to rest when comes home
@@antimations904 but she is failing to be a mother.
@@antimations904 there's also a responsibility that is called being a mother and she is not doing it
The apple does not fall far from the tree in ref to story 1. It just became cruel and reckless just like how the dad was also cruel and reckless.
ikr
Story 1 was awful, I can't believe what the dad did, BUT why the HECK would you frame him while he's weak in a HOSPITAL what an awful thing to do to someone just so cruel and heartless!
For story #1… I think they are both jerks. The father should have never treated them like that OR threatened them. HOWEVER that doesn’t mean the family should put him through so much pain. The reasonable solution was to have him put in jail for a longer time than usual and have a restraining order. I mean at least let him rehabilitate himself. Don’t put of through so much pain.
Yeah after they got the restraining order he didn't come back, they sought him out.
It was cruel and honestly kind of evil, especially all for stuff OP doesn't remember that he heard secondhand from his mom.
Story #4: No freaking way the OP is the jerk, I would cry if my future partner sang at my wedding, I don't understand what was wrong with the bride in the story? Yeah Weddings are nerve wracking sometimes but you got to learn to relax once in a while and just have fun, be happy with your new husband? Definitely not the jerk.
Story 3: So I can actually see both sides here. The wife is trying to be there for her friend and the husband does not want to shoulder extra burden due to her absence. I do not believe the OP is insinuating an affair but more so stating that this should not affect the home dynamic. With the information provided, I do not see either as a jerk. The wife wants to be there for her friend and she does have the right to do so. The OP wants to maintain his social capabilities and not be hampered by this. I think the biggest question to ask is the following: is OP scheduling these social days during days he knows the wife will be out?
Why is this important? Because then that will determine who is the jerk, in my opinion. If OP is making these social days on days he *knows* the wife will not be there then that is messed up. However, the opposite is also true. If the wife is aware of certain days and does not tell OP then that is messed up. So really, for me, I cannot call either a jerk until I know the cause of the scheduling issues.
exactly my opinion. I think they would both benefit from being really proactive about their schedules and getting things on a calendar. That way they are doing their upmost to try and respect everyone's needs. If OP knew that he was seeing his mom a month out and it's hard to coordinate plans with her, then he shouldn't have to cancel on her. Likewise, if OP knows that a chemo session is scheduled on X date a few weeks out, then he should plan on being with his son rather than meeting up with friends
This story reads like an anime or manga/mahnwa and in fact COULD be one. This reads more like the friend is an old EX of the wife, possibly a first love, I find it REALLY hard that he has NO ONE at all. It's one thing to support a friend at one or two chemo sessions or after but it reads more like she is caring for them almost on a DAILY basis if not a weekly basis.
There is something much more to this story than the OP let in probably due to privacy factors
Bruh you didn't have to right the entire story. But nice job you managed to reright it wow great job you're a legend with a lot of potential.👍👍❤️💯💯
Man imagine being crippled by someone you don't get along with, it sucks that he has cancer but fuck him. They need to have an agreement where both the wife and him feel they got scammed haha.
Why does the son need to stay home. Can he not attend lunch with his father, aunt and grandmother???
Story 1: he wasn't a jerk till he said they put drugs in his dresser. like he could've been clean and you sent him to jail again for no reason so that part makes you now the jerk
I know right they went WAY too far
@@G-manFan1 that was hella messed up. Like I don't think he deserved that. Like what if he offed himself bc of that
Story 3 OP is not the jerk. Yeah its important for his wife to help her old friend out, but the OP needs to spend time with his mom, sister, and friends. They should set up a agreement for every other tome they get to do their own thing so they are both happy. but thats just my opinion.
I think the woman in that last story isn't actually mad about the original poster "enforcing his ethnicity". I think she's just mad that the attention was taken off of her. Whatever the case may be her acting that way and getting mad over her husband trying to do a genuinely nice gesture for her is a huge red flag if you ask me. Kind of like how Will Smith for his wife's 40th birthday he spent all this money and put in all this effort to trace her family roots back as far as he could and he tried to make her birthday as a spectacular as he possibly could and then at the end of it all she claimed that he was a jerk and was just trying to stroke his own ego. If you go out of your way to do something nice for your partner and they get mad at you for it and claim that you're trying to do something that has nothing to do with what you actually did that's probably going to end up being a pretty toxic relationship and probably not something that you want to be a part of.
Yup. She's a Jerk.
THINK DAD! THINK!
YOU REALLY THOUGHT TOU CAN OUT-MEME A REDDITOR.
ok the dad is a b but hiding substances in his room is a rly low blow
IKR !
Yoo i love your voice and content dude
@@AmItheJerk The voices for the side characters sound wack af. Like a deranged farmer with several mental illnesses.
Onestly I love his voice a lot
@@isaacmoore4162 We are the same
the issue I have with the last story is the fact is seems the wife isn't considering the husband's schedule at all. I don't know if he's not telling her schedule or something but it really feels like the husband sets out a plan and doesn't get to do it. I mean I get it, a couple of times the husband can cancel, especially when it's his friends. The final straw was with his mom and his sister, who knows when the last time he saw them and he clearly cannot make plans to see them because the wife is dumping all this responsibility to care for their kid every time. Some more communication is needed for sure if this is a scheduling issue. Anthony will need to let the wife know his appointments ahead of time, at least a week in advance so the husband can work around or something. At least allow the husband to do what he wants while also allowing the wife to support her friend. I mean, right now, the husband isn't allowed to do what he wants whatsoever and is forced to drop plans while we have no clue if the wife is doing the same.
@@idkyouthinkofaname323 yeah we figured that out typo police 👮🏾♂️. But she did make valid points
I do believe that the safe story could have been about insecurities. But instead of a normal room, it's a safe, not a room per se. My former Boss had such a room in his house for his collection of old weapons and his wife didn't know the code either. She respected that
If you can't trust your wife or husband with codes to places in their home the you're stuck up, and shouldn't be with anyone let alone them
@@rollitup419 just because she's your wife doesn't mean it's not your responsibility if she uses your weapons. You have to secure then
I think that the OP in story 1 was kinda going over the line, but I can’t blame them because the dad had used substances and violated a restraining order
Story 2: as someone who saw my grandpa on his deathbed and then heard the news he died from family, I was heartbroken. Suddenly I had all these regrets of not seeing him more. Quick backstory, my mom was pregnant with a guy named Terry. That baby was me. I’m 10 years old now and they split up before I was even born. My Grandpa on Terry’s side had something wrong with his bones and had the option to get them scrubbed (painful) or live out the rest of his days. I was crushed when I heard he died. I cried myself to sleep for an hour before finally sleeping but was still crushed. So, I know it’s not the same, but if someone said that I couldn’t see him for one last time I would’ve reacted the same.
I think u put it for the wrong story?
I feel like the second story, totally not the jerk. Having boundaries like that makes sense, especially with something very valuable. I feel like if they were married it might be a different story, but like have been married a while, in for the long haul kind of married they could probably then trust the other just in case.
Story 3: not a jerk, in my eyes she's putting this friend over everything else and it's not right, chemo or not, he already had plans and she tried guilt tripping him into canceling so she can go with Anthony, Anthony will be fine at chemo by himself, he doesn't need someone holding his hand like a child, so in my eyes he is not the jerk here, the wife's loyalty just lies in the wrong place
Nah that's way too far I have a father like this and I have no intention of ruining his life cause I know that he will do it himself
Father I have come to warn you about your extended warranty
I'm glad that I found this channel today.
I love the videos.
Keep up the hard work.
Trust me you will love all the stories
@@axeldiaz404 you bet he will
For the second story. It would be different if they were married. After all, men share their bank accounts and so forth with their wives. But if they came to an understanding before they got married, then it would be ok for her to keep it private.
Even if I was married, it's not my business. Yes legally without a clear contract outlined it gets messy, but as a matter of principle I'd say yeah that's your private area and things
The new bride got made because her new husband sang a special song to her at the wedding reception? I'd say go get the marriage annulled immediately. She is going to make his life a living hades.
story 1 only makes you the TA is when they planted the stuff in his dresser
#2 op was right, it’s her collection, she has all rights to keep her business and her belongings secure. boyfriend/partner regardless she can choose to not tell the code.
#3 I can see both sides of the story, and can’t place significant blame on either, I say hire a babysitter next time
The point of a safe is that it locks and others can't access it, making the things inside...SAFE. If others can access it then you might as well put everything in a plain old cabinet because that's about how "safe" it would be.
S3: It's bit of both. The husband is dealing with neglect and losing personal freedoms over a guy he never got along with but his wife is dedicated toward. At the same time, the guy is dealing with cancer and has no one else...so it's something both need to actually discuss. If anything, it's more on her since he's allowed it to go on for a while now and when he'd make attempts to discuss it, she'd shut it down. I get how that can feel when you have immediate family reaching out to help people outside the home or give them more attention than those you live with just because of circumstances. You can't get mad at the guy because he's sick, it's just a mess all around.
Story 1: I would say the final part was being a jerk as you planted evidence into his room to get him arrested. How do you not know that that was the time he was trying his hardest to get clean and you screwed it up for him?
Story 2: Another reason why people need to stop moving in together before marriage. If they were married, though, I would ask to see inside so I know what's in there but I would also respect her enough to not badger her for the code. Of course, if collecting gems was her biggest hobby, she does need to make sure to marry someone who is at least somewhat interested in it and would at least enjoy having her show him her collection and hearing the stories behind them.
Story 3: We really need more content before deciding if he is the jerk. Why doesn't he like the friend (jealousy maybe)? Does the wife tell the husband when the chemo treatments are scheduled in advance or does she just tell him the night before? Does he get upset at most times the she goes with her friend or is supported but also feels like she is putting her friend over her husband? Too many variables to determine
Story 4: Classic example of Bridezilla. I guess she doesn't like spontaneousness cause...wow.
Plus they kept calling the police on an addiction that he didn't want and drove him to suicide (story 1)
Story 1: he completely chose to get back on substances because his new gf had money he chose that path and forced the OPs mom to take substances to keep them together he’s deserved to go to jail
It’s OK if she wants to go visit her friend in chemotherapy but that does not give her the right to make the husband do all the work and chemotherapy does suck but the husband should not be affected by this
yeah to me it seems like the Husband doesn't care
now I would understand if something was Fishy Between the Wife and her friend but now she's just trying to support her Friend cuz he has no one else
also, he could most likely invite his Mother and Sister over to the house as I'm sure they wouldn't mind.
but no he decides to make a mountain out of a molehill so yeah I'm going to say jerk
@@YuriKaroki19 it wasn't just his parents it was other things as well that he possibly had planned before she said she was going to the chemo with her friend or before the appointment for chemo was even set
There is a little more information about it on the post. The op knows the schedule and it only happens once a week.
@@tiredcaffeine4610 ok that just makes him more of an asshole then.
@@tiredcaffeine4610 so the OP is intentionally scheduling things to conflict with the appointments?
That would make him an extra special AH, if that’s the case.
Revenge is not the way. What the dad in the first story did is messed up, really messed up, but, all of that pain, for years, from what I understood, he wasn't even trying to harass them anymore, and they put some substances in his dresser? This revenge has so much cruelty that it isn't even funny, of course the Op is on the right side of the law, but morally? Both sided are pretty messed up I recon.
Imo it was all okay till they but the drugs in the dresser
ikr
They were on the right side of the law until they planted evidence.
Story 1, yes he broke into your house, but do you have to basically kill him on all hope and money
Yeah Jerk
100% agreed!
cayenne: a choice of baby name only somebody high/drunk/under the influence could go with it
Story number three has me thankful of how my wife and I are towards each other. We both hold how the other feels at the top of our priorities. If either one of us don't like someone then that person isn't included in either of our friends group. It doesn't matter why one of us may not like the person. If my wife says she doesn't like so and so then so and so becomes persona non grata, the same goes for people that I don't like. It may sound harsh but we live our lives for us (and family), no one else.
I understand. I've had a couple of relationships end because of friends my partner at the time had. They were party girls and sure enough girls nights, booze and cheating.
Now I feel like veto power on both ends is reasonable
Story 4, yeah that bride was being a bridzilla. Everything had to be her way, it's all about her. God, I am so glad I am gay so I don't have to worry about a bride wanting what she wants. Yeah I feel sorry for my brothers when they want to marry a woman.
She was coming
"Enforcing his ethnicity" wtf?
That song had a connection between them and no one even mentioned ethnicity!
That woman is crazy
Spider man at 4:11 : **continues to bounce off flying crow/raven**
That’s nuclear revenge their a savage, plus I’m shocked that the mother put her children’s needs before her’s
Remember, the only word we have on that is from the mom herself.
And with how batshit crazy OP is I doubt she was telling any of the past honestly lest she attract the revenge.
Story 3 raises alarm bells. Wife will drop everything at this guy's call?! No way this would end well.
Plus he has nobody else, absolutely nobody?! Can't join a support group or anything it has to be OPs wife. Super Sus.
When the OP puts in Psycho dad I just think of Mcjuggeenuggets Psycho dad😂
Oh man he should’ve used psycho screenshot😂
Story 3
For me my uncle died of stage four cancer
I didn’t really care as I never knew him and he rarely visited but for my mum it was horrible and the last time I saw him he was pale, and when I say pale he looked like bleach was thrown on him.
I overheard conversations about how he was sick and had to go through surgery he got this all from being a snicker and a heavy alcohol I’m a atheist but I still wish that he goes somewhere great.
for story 4, the guy is not a jerk, guy had the best intentions to make his wife happy. the wife probably understood the reasoning behind that song wrongly, so she thinks that her husband "enforces his etnicity". lmao.
as for the story 3, I cannot say both are jerks, but I can say that the wife does not need to put lots of responsibility on her husband, but what husband could've done was take his kid to the appointment.
Boundaries are boundaries for a reason. Ignore them, or allow them to be ignored, at thy own peril.
For the lady in situation number 2.
I really don't understand men like that. You have a girlfriend that apparently loves you a lot, is willing to actually share her space with you, has a career and works a lot on top of being very responsible, and you would be ready to fuck that relationship up because you want the combination to a safe you DO NOT NEED TO ACCESS at ANY TIME!?
I'm was too shy to ask my ex-wife the Netflix password! Nevermind a safe!
Situation #4:
Is it too late to back out of the wedding? I'm seriously asking. If someone is going to use the word "Ethnicity" in an argument, maaaaaybe she's not the person for you? I mean... I was married with a middle-eastern woman, and I've never said "That's because of your ethnicity" in any argument. Then again, I got divorced, so the fuck do I know?
Like "The Code" episode from Seinfeld...
And if you listen at the #4 she mentioned "stealing the spotlight" I thought weddings were celebrations for both of them? Like it's a wedding, and the song was sang to her, so again it was brought back to her honestly I don't get why she was upset, he's just trying to make her feel good! And the song, as the person from the vid said, was literally important to them, yet she turned it around. I feel like all she wanted was attention.
Yeah, for story 2. If he was asking for the code, he was 100% going to steal those gems.
I say the first story,the people went to far,like way to far.
ikr
Yeah first few times fuck him. But they really went above and beyond.
They did the right amount of revenge
@@cubed_gd not really like they saw him laying down and called the cops on him like thats just way to far
@@sleepyraygunYou've never dealt with a drug addict before. They're dangerous and horrible.
I don't blame them for a minute for constantly getting him put in prison
Dude this story reminds me a lot like FNAF UCN the animatronics wouldn’t let William leave just like the family did
About the dad, I feel like if they had been there when he tried to end it, they would have corrected his aim so he didn't miss.
To the Gemlogist: You are smart. Human can change but properties is forever. Something you can fall back into.
Story#2 I'd give the code... after moving everything to a secure insured deposit box...
Not even married. Not everything needs to be revealed in marriage. This is a protection for both of you. People share valuable information to the Wrong people all the time. Sometimes what you don't know can protect you
dang this family is savege
Second story, reset the smaller safe code and get the police.
I'm amazed you're not on a first name basis with the phone operator for 911
What?
@@fivemjs with how much they called the police on their father you would think they were on a first name basis what the phone operator
@@madambutterfly1997 right
Story 2: mine and mine alone kinda reminds me of the guy from the lord of the rings
Jewelry story: she dodged a bullet, there's no way he wasn't going to be checking out those gems when she's not around, plus he really has absolutely no reason to need the code, it's not his stuff.
Why don't they just get a baby sitter when the wife is gone for Anthony's chemo
second to last Story: Only question that needs asked in my opinion is....IF the OP liked wife's friend and they got along great, would the OP have a problem with the wife being their for THEIR sick friend?
That bitch is telling him to drop everything just for her friend even said his family isn't important I would have left her the moment she said that
At least the mom knew what was best for the kids and was willing to make the hard choice.
You should've given the wrong code to him and see what he does. You could see what kind of guy he is.
The first guy is a genius.
The thing with the friend with cancer is that we don't have the backstory of their friendship. Family is not just define by blood, it also can be define by strong friendship and obviously she cares a lot about him. Nobody would have question it if it was her brother. The guy is actually pissed about being "burden" with being a father, which is what he signed for. That 50/50 child responsability is beyond me, you take care of them when you have to and that's it. Don't make kids if you think of them as burden.
For story one i dont think they were a jerk but driving hi to suicide was bad. And Them putting substancens in his hospital ccabinet to say hes doing them is pretty wrong in my opinion.
AGREED!
First story unbelievable, an addict that bad doesn't have a savings
bro for the 3rd story I understand why the husband is upset at the wife for literally dropping everything for her friend's chemo therapy. like the husband also has his commitments and like she's telling him not to go for them. I mean the fact that she said that the lunch with his sister and mother wasn't important kind of rubbed me the wrong way because maybe they wanted to discuss family matters or may get some terrible news that equally as bad. I also refuse to believe that the friend really only has the wife to be by her side since the wife's female friends were supporting her. if that's the case then they can also visit. in my opinion the wife is being a jerk at the very least or may be doing something fishy at the most since she literally drops everything including her son for this guy and this may make her son hate her for abandoning him for some guy he doesn't even know
ngl the background game is kinda tense
I was 3 when the OP’s grandma died… sorry to the OP….
Just by the background gaming I knew this was gonna be a good video.
About the Anthony story, I would've divorce the wife quick. She's leaving the guy she's married to and her kid to go see some man. Granted, she's leaving her kid with his father and that's good but, when it comes to the point where life with a stranger is actually cutting into the time with your own child, it's time to take a step back and redirect your priorities a bit. The person telling story is not a jerk. Supporting someone throughout something is okay and taking care of the kid is a *must* but, he needs time for himself too. He can't be expected to drop his plans for someone he doesn't even prioritize all time just because, the other one in the relationship does.
Story#3 I think the guy sort of is and is not the jerk. On the jerk side, cancer is no joke and giving support for people in such a situation is not a bad thing to do. He could have tried to find a compromise of sorts, but the wife didn't seem to want to listen anyway. On the not jerk side, From what I could tell from the story, it seems to me that because the wife is seeing the guy with cancer to be supportive so much, she is shirking her responsibilities as a mother onto the father without any regard as to how that affects him. Not only that but from what i can tell, the wife doesn't seem willing to compromise. I understand that the guy with cancer would need a lot of support, but I believe you would still have to take into account how you not being able to parent your own kid or kids affects your spouse and their life. Even if you want to support someone going through a rough time, thats not an excuse to drop everything you're doing with your life for them, especially if you have a family of your own.
I think in story one he was at least once a jerk for hiding substances in his fathers locker that didn't belong to the father
Both stories where great.
Wonderful the mover had the children first and everyone should have their own space and privacy. He sounded controlling and disrespectful.
Story 3. Kind of a jerk? I mean, as long as they aren't flirting, let the wife see her friend and stop being jealous.
He should go to
It's not jealous it's that she's not considering others
Story 3: I think the wife over promised her time. She should have told her friend that she would be there for him as much as she could. He's an adult and would understand that she would have other family obligations.
The last story: I think the bride forgot it was THEIR wedding and not just HER wedding.
This is about the censer story, he is not a jerk at all, two month ago my grandpa pass away from censer, after having it for a bit over a year and a half. It was terrible I felt so bad I couldn't even go see him after a year, we weren't close which made it worse. My mom was with him all the time and even though I understood she needs to be there, it is her dad, it also got in our home, when she was home she would talk about him all the time, which was emotionally draining, and I would barely see her because she was always in the hospital with him, there was a point where I just wanted her to be my mom again and i feel like that is the under line message of this guy, he just wants his wife back
ok story one
respect to the mother for attempting to quit substances after knowing she was pregnant
Store #3: I think the fault is on both sides. Fault on the husband for not being more understanding. Probably due to him never truly experiencing what’s it like to be in that situation. However, fault on the wife for not coordinating with the husband. With chemo/radiation, you make these appointments sometimes in weeks or months in advance. The wife should be more considerate and get the chemo schedule from her friend so at least the husband can plan around those dates since he is taking care of the son and other matters so she could go. Also, at the beginning of the narrative, I might be wrong but the way the husband phrased it made it sound like she spent a lot of time with Anthony long before he was diagnosed with cancer. I don’t know, but if I was the husband, I would feel self conscience if my wife was spending a great portion of her time with a single bachelor. If that is the case, the husband should have confronted her about it sooner. Seems like an issue with communication to me.
federal prison is actually like a hotel your cell is guarded by a door,no solitary confinement,your family can visit and more time outside than state prisons
The one with the cancer i would say it depends on if she is telling him when the appointments are in advance or saying something the day before.
Bruh if my wife said she needs to go with a friend that need chemotherapy at certain days and if she keeps going I would say if you love him so much you might as well sign divorce papers so you can be with him
Clearly you've never had a close friend or family member suffer from cancer and you being their primary support. Asking your partner to watch your kid once a week or once every couple of weeks so they can be there for their closest friend during probably the worst experiences of their life is not hard to do. It's called being considerate and willing to take on the extra burden for their sake because you love them. Just cause you don't like the friend doesn't mean you need to place extra burdens on your partner who's doing everything they can to help out a sick friend. Maybe you should reflect on why your partner showing a lot of attention to a someone else in this context bothers you so much.
It’s fine if she wants to go see your friend in chemotherapy but no shape or form so that affect the husband because he has his own life to live
@@todorokiswaifu7690the husband has a life aswell, he had a mother to go see but i dont know why he couldn't take his son with him :/
Wait! Something I don't understand, OP's wife is the only friend and the only one this guy with cancer can depend on? If she's the only friend this guy has -- something smells fishy.
Best advice for the safe is to get a bigger safe and put the smaller one inside it, then give him the bigger safe code, so he still can’t get to the gems
Story 1 on one hand I feel for the dad since I’ve dealt with people with substance problems, on the other hand he is a piece of crap who doesn’t want to fix his problems.
Story 2 that is super sus for him to want to know the combo for a safe he shouldn’t get into, even married it is. My pessimistic side says he may steal it and run off since it’s worth so much, not married or married it is dangerous
It's hard to fix your problems if you have no hope for the future
I personally think that even in marriage there needs to be a prenup and insurance on them. If you feel comfortable with giving your partner the code so be it but it's probably never going to be the person that hounds you for the code that's trusted with it.
Story #2 not the jerk u said no end of conversation if u were married the same this is all yours you earned it why does he insist on on having the code my Spidey senses are tingling
Can I have the safe code when op is not home casually grabs everything and goes to a different country
Ok they couldn’t handle the dad better