11 Years on Testosterone - My Imperfect Perfect Life
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- Опубліковано 13 вер 2024
- I am now 11 years on T and while life post-transition isn't a "fairy tale" and is marked by ongoing struggles, my true fairy tale ending is now being able to live my life feeling self fulfilled, and free from gender dysphoria. In this video I discuss how we need to see and hear more diverse stories, that don't fit the typical narrative of young, fit able bodied "perfect" lives, in order to see that there are many definitions of happiness in transition.
I would love to read your stories too!
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In my case, T caused my overactive bladder syndrome. However, I'd rather have that and be myself then not.
I also developed a chronic pain condition in my mid-20s after being out for 4ish years. My mental health has been rocky due to some difficult events in my life - and this is something I'm actively working on.
My dad commented 2 years ago 'why are you still depressed after transitioning?' I had to explain without transition I'd be far worse, or potentially not even here.
Unfortunately, people have walked away from me. It's painful but I've learned and grown from it. Life happens, and it's not always the rainbows we want, but you keep living.
Exactly this, and I think it's very short sighted to expect transition to solve all our problems. It's not a magic elixir!
I'm sorry you've had these experiences. I'm with you you, I'd rather have all of these but be me!
The other option is far far more painful.
Thank you for watching and for sharing your story
It’s weird how people put so much pressure on trans people to perform happiness all the time and never feel any bad emotion after you’ve come out to ‘prove’ that it’s ‘worth it’ to transition. No one does that with anything else. Imagine that, ‘nana, why aren’t you smiling all the time since your hip got replaced?’ Or ‘Alice, why aren’t you dancing up and down all the time since coming out as a lesbian?’ Or ‘Jamie, you and your partner just bought a house, why are you sad today?’ Lol
Thank you for this and all your videos truly Finn! I am in my late 40’s and due to mental health issues it’s only been within the last year or so that I’ve been able to even say the words trans man in relation to myself without dissociating into oblivion. I love the raw truth of your work here, very much appreciate your transparency. I understand that some in the trans community wish to portray this very healthy and happy picture…the reality is we are a segment of the human population…that means there are all sorts of folks with all sorts of human problems, including mental health and other health issues. That is just the truth of human existence. Thank you for being a shining light to that truth. Appreciate you man! - Sam
I've been having bladder issues myself and have had several tests for over active bladder and severe burning, but the doctors can't seem to find the reason for it. Are you having urges with burning?
I just realized that you started your transition at 39. I’ve been off and on T since 36 due to financial struggles. I’m turning 40 soon and was losing hope, but you just refueled my hope. Your journey reminds me that it’s never too late to be true to ourselves, regardless of the challenges we face. Thank you for sharing your story and for being an inspiration. 🙏🏿
Im very glad to be a source of hope and reminder that it's never to late because absolutely there is no time limit on happiness!
Life often gets in the way, and this can be so incredibly frustrating and it's hard not to just give up but never let yourself believe that age and time are against you because it needs not be.
We do have to be extra careful and take good care of our health along the way and think about a few things differently, but other than that, go out there and grab the happy life that you deserve!
Yays!!!! Never give up on who you are my friend!!! I'll be 60 in a weeks time. I wish I had your youth, be happy and grateful for that. Live your life as the man you are. 🏳⚧🏳⚧🏳⚧
There are people out there starting in their 60s-80s. Never ever lose hope!
Hi sir..I also inspired from you..also wants to be a transman bit lots of documents issue..what to do dear..plz help
Stay strong bro'.
Thank you so much for saying this Finn, it's very important. I also went into transition in my 30's (longer ago than you lol). In my case I already had chronic illness, and a transition-related surgical fuckup has impacted physical health, leaving me more disabled, but importantly it does not mean my transition was a failure either. Life happens, my choices were sound, and the medical treatment I went through was absolutely necessary to give me the life I have now even though it came with risks and didn't all have ideal outcome. My life is far from easy, but at least I'm alive, and I'm me, without the crushing dysphoria and everyday stress of being perceived wrongly with every human interaction. Trans disabled bodies are real, and valid, and deserve love too.
Absoblloominglutely!!!! Well said my friend! Thank you so much for sharing this. It's so important that folks stop looking at transition in such a black and white way and stop layering their own ideas of what it should look like on them instead of listening to our stories. Our journeys, like life , our so complex.
I'm so glad that you have been able to transition and find that joy and happiness that makes all the other stuff bearable!
Much love to you fella
Love how you understand that nothing is perfect or expected in life. you are perfect to us
You are so kind. I think being realistic in life and managing ones expectations is a vital skill!
Thank you for this very touching video Finn! Hopefully people will understand one day that we’re just like any other human being, and we’re just as vulnerable to illness and trauma, and that we can grow old!
I’m very glad that despite the challenges of life, you’re able to be happy and proud of being yourself! This video comes as a source of inspiration during a rough time with the System creating hurdle after hurdle to try to prevent me from owning my identity through my chosen name.
I’m 43 and 8 months into my medical transition. I don’t know what will be of my health in 10 years, but I sure hope that despite all the challenges, I’ll get to be as happy with my transition as you are with yours, 😸
As another fellow who wasn't able to safely transition until after 40 with chronic health issues and trauma living the best life I can, I am glad you are here to tell our stories. Thank you for reminding people that we grow older and experience pain and illness of all kinds just like everyone else. That we are human, just like everyone else. That whether the privileged public at large accepts us or not we exist and will continue to do so.
Awesome Finn... nice and timely for us trans people of a more mature status. And what ever stage you are in transition, is valid, worthy and enough. When you are an older transperson, there is no shiny ending. XD
I struggled with that when I first realized I was trans. Mourning the loss of youth... the young teen changing into male. No wonder I used to put on the boys uniform in high school. I almost got expelled for doing that in the early 80s lol. Mens clothes always fitted me better where in reality, I felt more comfy in them. My mind knew what it was doing back then, but, trying to conform and still make my parents happy, I left all that behind.
Grieving the life I could have had weighs heavily on me at times. But I am just grateful Im here, with my little rainbow family. Being a part of a group of older people here on youtube has helped me enormously.
Thanks for supporting the older trans people Finn.... thats another to add to the list🏳⚧🏳🌈💛🤗
Perfectly put buddy, it's tough when we come to transition as older trans people, there's a lot of baggage but still we transition into happier people.
Future generations will avoid this I believe as people are better informed and notice gender differences now. But still, even transitioning older doesn't mean we cannot be happy!
Thank you for your lovely words
I have issues walking for too long and still am in my transition 5 years now, I take a scooter to get around at times due to chronic back pain, but I don't see someone in a chair as useless or worthless. Id hope that being disabled wouldn't stop anyone from transiting, that would be a shame. You're an inspiration, thank you for sharing.
I appreciate learning more about your life journey, Finn!
Thank you so much for your lovely comment!
Thank you for making this! I guess I’m one of those young, able bodied gender conforming passing trans guys. And I relate to and second every single thing in this video! I knew very early for sure that I was trans and would transition. Started T right when I was 20 years old and had all the avaliable surgeries with no or negligent complications. In this sense I’m the picture perfect «palatable sucsess story», and my gender clinic even told me as much.
And my life HAS been and become almost all I dreamed of. My dreams were modest, for context. Experiencing love and liking how I looked, being comfortable with my body and achieving something valuable in life. Transition allowed me to get my first ever girlfriend, have sex and experience love for the first time, look how I wanted to look, get an education and function well in society.
I know I’m very luck. Many things are easier for me than many others. My transition has been an overwhelming success. But being trans, experiencing early life dissaproval as I expressed my identity, dysphoria so severe I could barely shower, neven even be sexual, not even care for my health properly is a trauma I’m still marked by. My suffering pre-transition was severe.
What transition does, no matter how or when it happens, is it makes us more confortable and life possible. Life may still be difficult, but now it feels worth keeping and possible to fight for and improve. Now life is MINE, I’m ME in life, and that is the best of all. I think I smile or feel genuine relief and contentment over my body every single day now, for years. Even if my body can never be societys «masculine ideal», I am so so so so grateful for it and happy with it.
Hi, friend! Thank you for this reaffirming video. I just turned 9 yrs on T and have followed you from the beginning. You have always spoken with honesty and kindness about the ups and downs of transition. Without transition, even at a very old age😉, I would not be here today. I'm so proud of you and myself for not reverting to addiction! I'll take that and being an old man over a neatly tied ribbon any day!
Amen to that my dear friend! I love that you have travelled this journey with me! Congrats on 9 years on T and thank goodness you are still here because the world is better with you in it! 💕
"It was being me and then being able to cope with whatever life threw at me." YES. Same thing here.
Been through probably the most difficult years of my life after transition and I keep being asked if it's "because of the hormones" and the answer is: No. I would have gone through all of this either way. But the fact that I transitioned is a big reason why I was able to deal with it.
First off, major congratulations on 14 years clean & sober, dear brother! Major respect for such a massive accomplishment. I'm so happy that you're living your life and enjoying your life - idiots saying your transition 'is a waste' can get in the bin! Chronic illness sucks, but those of us who live with it know we're still here and we're still living our lives, albeit in a different way than we perhaps envisioned. Diversity in voices is a precious thing and helps so many others to realise they're not alone.
Have a wonderful Bank Holiday weekend in Bluebell, and i hope the weather behaves for you all xx
Get in the bin, YES! Exactly as you say, life is different and of course there is grief involved at our many losses, but there is also a new life to be lived, a slower life, and Ive found one that bring a deeper gratitude and when they joy is here is a deeper joy too, life is most definately not over! We had a wonderful weekend thank you, loving our cosy little chronic illness adapted caravan!
Adding your story to the mix, yes! It's always going to be helpful to other peeps regardless if they're going through exactly the same things or not. (I hope that sentence makes sense) Wishing you another lovely weekend away in Bluebell sweetie! Give Pip a little scratch behind the ears from me x
It does indeed make sense! Thanks lovely! Pip is just in his way back from the groomers, I'll give him a scratch and I'll upload a floofy pic on insta later! 😁
This is why I love you Finn.. you are such a deep diver!!!
Thanks buddy 🙂. Yep I can't help but think deeply on everything 😜
I just love your energy. You fill me with hope every time I hear your voice! So happy for you and so proud of you!!
That's such a lovely comment to find this afternoon, thank you so.muxh!
@@FinnTheInfinncible 🩵🩵🩵
Congratulations on your sobriety anniversary!❤
Thank you for your message.
Thank you so much!
OMG ❤❤❤❤❤!!! I can't love you anymore you beautiful boy!!!
I love that you are sharing your life. This trans cutie. Like CUTE-T!!! Got my attention! He quicky became my brother, my mentor on transition, my friend!!
You are kicking life's ass. NOTHING gets you completely down. That is more than obvious to those that love you and know you my man!! Congratulations on 11 yrs and 4 months of T!!!
Cute-T! Love that! Might have t make a tshirt of that! Love you so much buddy, Im so glad my life gave me you!
Thank you for this video, I'm a 35 years old trans boy and I started testosterone at 25, and I still struggle with depression and anxiety but I never regret transitioning
I feel like all the discourse around transidentity and mental illness throw us under the bus (us being people with mental illness) as if trans people are valid only if they have good mental health
Take care
Yet another amazing video hon I always learn so much and it helps me to understand gender and transition so much more! That helps me then explain things to people around me who don't understand xx love you mate
You always leave such lovely comments, I appreciate and love you so much! Thank you
@FinnTheInfinncible I love you too so glad we found one another
It baffles me that people think trans people have zero issues other than being trans. EVERYONE has MULTIPLE issues in life on a good day. But trans people are only supposed to have the one issue and everything else is perfect?! 😂 Nope. They're just making excuses to criticize and bully others because they're too miserable to be nice. You are amazing. Thank you for your kindness, honesty and generosity 💕💕💕
This is so true! We are held to completely different standards, we must be perfect and happy otherwise it proves we should never have transitioned and transitioning was bad for us!
Love to you!
I'm 22 years old trans man, and I'm waiting to get on testosterone, but I'm worried about the risks of it. The only thing I really absolutely need is voice drop. Eeeeverything else is just a bonus, and I can only get that from the testosterone treatment. I'm not sure if I'm deciding to stay on T for longer than the necessary to get my desired permanent changes due to the anxiety of the long term effects. I'm considering top surgery but won't even consider bottom one, because of the high health risks of that.
Whatever you decide, remember,
You get one body. Your health is everything.
I’m glad you shared this Finn it was a lovely video
Thank you so much for your lovely comment 💖
Finn...I think you are a gorgeous, cuddly ,teddybear of a man and I love listening to you and watching you. I wish you lived neare ,so I could give you a big hug xx
You are so lovely and I never turn down a hug 🤗
lovely lovely video♥wish you all the best!
Thank you so much 😊
so true :) 💗
Thank you!
I wanted to say hello. Have a wonderful weekend.
Hello to you my dear friend! Have an absolutely fantastic weekend!
audio is quite quiet but video content is excellent, i hope the new trans people find this!
Thank you so much!!
Looks like you are not better. Please take a look at my story on how I recovered. The condition is terrible.
It is terrible, Im so glad you have recovered!
boosting :>
I'm 4 yrs on T. I wonder how I'd look at 11 yrs. :3
Congrats on 4 years!
hey bro, can I ask how transitioning affected your ME and pots? (fatigue/ dizziness) I'm chronically ill as well and about to start out T at the end of the year :)
Keep those chins up brother. Hugs!
The cheek! Thanks fella!
Happy 11 years 4 months manniversary! 🥳🫶 😊
Happy 14 years clean and sober! 🏆🥳👍
AW RATS! I just had my usual mini-novel sized comment, accidentally hit the "back" button and it all went *POOF*! Off into the ether... *sigh* 😶
I love you Finn, I'm glad you're still here 🥰🫶 I bet Chris and Pip are glad you're still here as well! 😉😁
sounds kinda culty
Being balanced and realistic is culty, well damn