Bitchy ASMR ~ Matchmaker Helps With Your Online Dating Profile

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  • Опубліковано 17 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 170

  • @ambertoslanderto8634
    @ambertoslanderto8634 7 років тому +286

    I swear, I don't even watch other ASMRtists anymore. Your videos are solid gold after solid gold, amazing !

    • @WhittRak
      @WhittRak 7 років тому +5

      Dang! That's Vegan?! I don't either

    • @DreamWondersASMR
      @DreamWondersASMR 7 років тому +8

      i was sooo happy that she did a roleplay vid because I freaking love her roleplayssss !!!!!

    • @waywrdvagabond1710
      @waywrdvagabond1710 5 років тому +2

      Could you say her videos are....Sparkly~?

  • @cherijuice
    @cherijuice 7 років тому +239

    tbh i don't even watch the roleplays to fall asleep any more, i just watch them for fun

  • @waywrdvagabond1710
    @waywrdvagabond1710 5 років тому +19

    Not even joking, I LOVE that your "backgrounds" are just a sign related to the theme of the video. Not an insult to you or people who do or don't whatever, but i flippin' love it. Its so funny and it really just makes me smile and that is a hard thing to do, let me tell ya haha

  • @missunderstoodmal1700
    @missunderstoodmal1700 7 років тому +53

    Hahaha! My sister-in-law just made me sign up on a dating site. The outdoorsy/active man requirement is SO true!!! There's no way 100% of the single men in this area love to backpack and run marathons. This is too funny!

  • @ames227
    @ames227 7 років тому +216

    After Daisy failed to find me a soulmate, I came here.
    (If you have no clue what I'm talking about, Gibi Asmr has a matchmaking video with her character Daisy)

    • @sarahharper3783
      @sarahharper3783 7 років тому +9

      WHAT?!?! Daisy is one of my favorite ASMR characters

    • @allyhaze1589
      @allyhaze1589 7 років тому +2

      Sarah Harper SAME

    • @Burstify
      @Burstify 7 років тому +2

      Sarah Harper Same

    • @glouissier
      @glouissier 7 років тому +6

      Same! ( I FOUND MY ASMR FAM )

    • @reginageorge3580
      @reginageorge3580 7 років тому +1

      Lemon Mia SAME ❤️

  • @viktoriyacollinsworth6835
    @viktoriyacollinsworth6835 7 років тому +83

    Portia is the perfect name choice.

  • @juliavazquez5222
    @juliavazquez5222 6 років тому +18

    “Your organization skills are psychotic” me too girl

  • @reginageorge3580
    @reginageorge3580 7 років тому +46

    I don't wanna crush your spirit... YET 💀

  • @saranohmusic57
    @saranohmusic57 5 років тому +7

    I have a confession.... your videos rarely give me tingles. But your comedy is so GENIUS that I keep coming back for more!! Love the "Sparkly Friend" series & the "Bitchy Librarian" series too. You're so creative!

  • @Redmel9
    @Redmel9 7 років тому +21

    Just saw the title and thought OMG this is going to be the greatest video ever (true fact: I think this before watching all your videos!)

    • @KaoticDreww
      @KaoticDreww 7 років тому +2

      Melissa McCormack facts

  • @MonotonousOwl
    @MonotonousOwl 7 років тому +10

    I become too invested in your roleplaying that I usually can't fall asleep, this content is hilarious I love it!

  • @SaraH-ps8ob
    @SaraH-ps8ob 7 років тому +57

    I guess 46 more minutes of no sleep because I wanna watch and laugh at every moment. Lol!

  • @msalyssababy
    @msalyssababy 7 років тому +42

    "What level of desperation are you?" Hahahaha Oh God, you're the best! 😃

  • @methos101
    @methos101 7 років тому +81

    This was great. You are not stable. I laughed when you said Mc hammer baggy pants 😂. Great job Mary 😊.

  • @abbyliz5167
    @abbyliz5167 7 років тому +7

    i saw the lonely hearts sign and i immediately went "OWNER OF A LONELY HEART"

  • @FeelslikeHalloween
    @FeelslikeHalloween 6 років тому +5

    Mary, you are absolutely hilarious!!! My sister and I are constantly quoting the funny things you say. Thank you for all of the laughter!

  • @laurel953
    @laurel953 7 років тому +22

    Omg... I'm so excited for this video. It's my favorite video of KAYsmr... I cannot wait to see what you did with this idea!!

    • @laurel953
      @laurel953 7 років тому +9

      Update: You literally had me laughing within the first ten seconds. "Ya LATE."

  • @doglady2410
    @doglady2410 7 років тому +15

    You're hilarious! I live in Los Angeles... You'd be amazing at live improv.

  • @asmrrryeah7042
    @asmrrryeah7042 7 років тому +45

    That accent though. 🤤

  • @cid5680
    @cid5680 7 років тому +2

    When it gets closer to fall time, you should do a video where harvest decorates for fall. Almost like a DIY video but with natural products like pumpkins, leaves, acorns, stuff like that 😊

  • @marissasimas9258
    @marissasimas9258 7 років тому +31

    I met my husband on Craigslist 14 years ago lol oops

  • @serenesplendorasmr3635
    @serenesplendorasmr3635 7 років тому +2

    I just knew I was going to love this video! Each sentence you say is a goldmine

  • @teamgard
    @teamgard 7 років тому +1

    Your necklace was like optical illusion. Thought it was a blouse at 1st w your angle. You're like salve on a wound. Slept to your River Road last night and it was calming as Irma winds battered my house. I stayed awake for all Part 1 & tonight shall be Part 2! Thank you 😊

  • @r0esheen
    @r0esheen 7 років тому +5

    Owner of a lonely heart by yes is stuck in my head now because of the amazing sign in the background 😂

  • @reginageorge3580
    @reginageorge3580 7 років тому +12

    Her: Your last name is really really stupid
    Me: IKR!

  • @whisperincolour6575
    @whisperincolour6575 7 років тому +15

    Honestly, I'd swipe left on this guy.

  • @kristikeller7238
    @kristikeller7238 7 років тому +4

    Mary! Those glasses are gorgeous on you!!

  • @lucybell1767
    @lucybell1767 7 років тому +3

    That necklace is gorgeous. I may have psychotic organizational skills 😂

  • @Ash-verity
    @Ash-verity 7 років тому +7

    Of you listen to just her voice she sounds like a country version of Pam from the office

  • @umbracastaway3379
    @umbracastaway3379 7 років тому +10

    I'm laughing so hard! 🤣🤣 Historic Good Looks🔥🔥🔥

  • @lunaschneider7812
    @lunaschneider7812 7 років тому +3

    wow, when you asked about my name I thought 'Katya Zamolodchikova' and it played beautifully with your rant about my name 😂

  • @emhmcconnell
    @emhmcconnell 7 років тому +2

    Please make this another recurring character/story! Loved it

  • @foxlove1726
    @foxlove1726 6 років тому +9

    "No lonely hearts" well I'm not supposed to be here

  • @rb4184
    @rb4184 7 років тому +14

    Porsha needs to be recurring

  • @mr.gabriel2020
    @mr.gabriel2020 7 років тому +2

    "Historic good looks".....that part had me hollering😂😂😂😂

  • @RegretfulGreedler
    @RegretfulGreedler 7 років тому +4

    I live in North Port, Florida, roughly exactly where Irma is expected to make landfall tomorrow night. Understandably, we're all especially nervous, especially with our mother off to work and only able to come home Monday night at the earliest. If the roads are bad, it'll be indefinite, and we're likely to lose power for weeks. Thank you for this; it helped to take my mind away from what's coming in the very near future.

    • @teamgard
      @teamgard 7 років тому

      Kay : It was such a welcome retreat from all things Irma. Signed, Another Floridian
      Hope y'all stay safe. It's just like a big nor'easter where i'm at. 🕊🍃

  • @TexarkanaBraveHeart7615
    @TexarkanaBraveHeart7615 7 років тому +14

    I love these Bitchy Roleplay videos ,With all the laughing im doing this video is going by fast. It's talent like yours that set you apart from the other ASMR artist's who are Good, but maybe not Great:)

  • @helenhraz
    @helenhraz 7 років тому +3

    I am like 30 seconds in and I can already tell I'm going to love this 😂

  • @kasantar
    @kasantar 7 років тому +13

    I can't with you.... I love you. I need to have coffee with you and just judge people as they walk by

  • @sarahharper3783
    @sarahharper3783 7 років тому +2

    How do you do it? Your characters are amazing. Every time you post a first video with a new character they give me so many tingles.

  • @ms.annthrope420
    @ms.annthrope420 7 років тому +5

    Bitchy QVC/Home shopping network would be really funny.

  • @gumswashington5203
    @gumswashington5203 6 років тому +2

    what level of desperation are we talking about here? dude you are so funny and I love your approach/style of ASMR is awesome

  • @parrotmediaproductions
    @parrotmediaproductions 4 роки тому +3

    My last name: *has five letters*
    “why are there so many constants you need to talk to your parents”
    Me: /oh/

  • @amypardue4986
    @amypardue4986 7 років тому +1

    I am out my mind lmao this is totally gold 😂😂😂👍👌😄😄😄😉💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖😄😄

  • @chlo.liz09
    @chlo.liz09 5 років тому +3

    " I don't wanna crush your spirit yet" 😂

  • @goodstorylover
    @goodstorylover 7 років тому +4

    "I understand that you are smart....ish" :o) :o) And may I just say that I really like your necklace.

  • @AnonimousBlue
    @AnonimousBlue 4 роки тому +3

    39:46 You’d be surprised by what we musicians with short fingers can do.

  • @malindalee
    @malindalee 3 роки тому

    I don't think I've ever laughed out loud watching an ASMR video before, but "impish" got me

  • @TheInfamil
    @TheInfamil 7 років тому +7

    Let's see how good your matchmaking skills are.

  • @haleighcox5939
    @haleighcox5939 7 років тому

    This is the earliest I've ever been to a video 😊

  • @angelawilson4868
    @angelawilson4868 4 роки тому +1

    She's the only one I watch as now as well 🥰

  • @picoyap
    @picoyap 7 років тому +1

    Im loving the new hair

  • @JemimaDoesASMR
    @JemimaDoesASMR 7 років тому +5

    You know you're getting old when you'd 100% go for the stable, dependable man over the risk-taking one lol.

  • @nicholasschroeder628
    @nicholasschroeder628 7 років тому +5

    "so you have to settle for Michelle"

  • @Jayrocc66753
    @Jayrocc66753 5 років тому +1

    You remind me of someone I know that is substitute at my high school they way you talk

  • @Carolina_Cheesehead
    @Carolina_Cheesehead 7 років тому +1

    This poor man has zero self-esteem left! You've slayed his soul, Porsche. Lol!

  • @Staycurious8
    @Staycurious8 7 років тому +1

    You are hilarious! I am so very happy I found you :)

  • @serenesplendorasmr3635
    @serenesplendorasmr3635 7 років тому

    If only I hadn't fallen asleep before the end. THIS time...I'm gonna make it!

  • @ryanherron7436
    @ryanherron7436 7 років тому

    Many people have that one person in their friend group who is exactly like this, I am that person

  • @isaiahrosales6229
    @isaiahrosales6229 4 роки тому +4

    I find it very awkward when she just said "I dont look old."
    even though I'm 18 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @helium1828
    @helium1828 7 років тому +1

    Please make part two!

  • @vannarenee122
    @vannarenee122 7 років тому +2

    This. is. GOLD!! 😂😂😂

  • @Br0ns0n
    @Br0ns0n 7 років тому

    This was fantastic. Was it improve or scripted. It seems/feels off the cuff organic.

  • @chynaaaaaa2752
    @chynaaaaaa2752 7 років тому

    I love it 😍💞
    I'm relaxed but also entertained 😂

  • @Just4TheWin
    @Just4TheWin 7 років тому

    LMAO! this whole video made me go in a complete laughing fit!

  • @JH-kw8zy
    @JH-kw8zy 4 роки тому +4

    Portia is LYING to these girls 😂

  • @laurel953
    @laurel953 7 років тому

    16:23 - 16:40 My curiosity got the better of me... I'm just curious, what popped into the right side of the screen for a few seconds? Whatever it was, I love how you didn't even skip a beat or glance towards it, haha.

    • @SouthernASMRSounds
      @SouthernASMRSounds  7 років тому +7

      LaurelFlowers That was my microphone. I didn't realize until after the fact that it was visible in the video. Oops!

    • @laurel953
      @laurel953 7 років тому

      Oh okay! That makes sense. Thanks for your reply! :)

  • @xxjust_anniexx
    @xxjust_anniexx 7 років тому +1

    Omg. I loved this.

  • @olelokupanahaodev1959
    @olelokupanahaodev1959 6 років тому

    Love these roleplays

  • @sarahgarifo524
    @sarahgarifo524 7 років тому

    Ha! This is the exact demeanor (and some sentences almost verbatim) of someone who interviewed me for a job years ago. Suffice it to say that even though I was not late to the interview, I still did not get the job. 😆

  • @destinybboswell95
    @destinybboswell95 7 років тому +1

    love your videos! has anyone ever told you , you look alot like Lennon Parham?

  • @shylockwesker5530
    @shylockwesker5530 7 років тому +1

    Oh, this is gonna be good!

  • @sopheep
    @sopheep 7 років тому

    With the way you were making "my" last name sound, I thought I might be Welsh.

  • @robertbarlow6359
    @robertbarlow6359 7 років тому +2

    A black lab and we'll name it 'Tank' Hahahahah!

  • @pengoschwortz4734
    @pengoschwortz4734 7 років тому +1

    I never really got the "Bitchy ASMR" videos. Can someone explain them to me? Like how do they help you relax? (Genuinely asking not hating on you you're amazing)

    • @leahdavis9434
      @leahdavis9434 7 років тому

      Sometimes they're kind of disarming? I find them funny, and they tend to use a lot of clicky sounds. It's hard to explain, just like it's hard to explain ASMR to people who don't get it

    • @pengoschwortz4734
      @pengoschwortz4734 7 років тому

      The Hierophant oh yeah it's hilarious I'm just not sure how it pertains to ASMR

  • @liamburnett7914
    @liamburnett7914 7 років тому +1

    "your late" bitch i walked through hurricane irma for this be grateful for helping me find a match.

  • @John-dz6vm
    @John-dz6vm 7 років тому +1

    I'm not doing online dating 凸

  • @Monsicorn
    @Monsicorn 7 років тому +3

    "You're a man" Me: When did that happen???!!!!

  • @bdanceboxer
    @bdanceboxer 7 років тому +2

    Can you do a southern belle female boxer asmr that would be awesome I could get you all the props if you want not a problem look forward to hearing from you take care!!

  • @tonys7123
    @tonys7123 7 років тому +3

    Dumpster fire!!!? Hilarious.

  • @dbelladay123
    @dbelladay123 3 роки тому

    OMG! I love you sooo much!

  • @pamelaclary5869
    @pamelaclary5869 5 років тому +2

    Wow she told the address.

  • @catygrey838
    @catygrey838 7 років тому +1

    I'm just an hour late...
    This is so funny good job XD

  • @KaelaAngelae
    @KaelaAngelae 7 років тому

    I'm sure you have a script for your role plays but I'm not sure if you memorize them or not. Either way you're HILARIOUS and do such an amazing job on all your vids!❤️

    • @SouthernASMRSounds
      @SouthernASMRSounds  7 років тому +9

      Kaela Angelae Thank you! There is no script, though. Literally all I did to prepare for this video was to write five words on a piece of paper and find my tape measure.

  • @luciditymarch__
    @luciditymarch__ 7 років тому +1

    Manly dog?? Why not a Rottweiler??! Lol 😂😂 I love them! XD

  • @babyfox3324
    @babyfox3324 7 років тому

    As a vegetarian, bad lettuce is my biggest fear

  • @bibbybobby3432
    @bibbybobby3432 7 років тому +1

    Omg make one for us females !! :D

  • @kranky568
    @kranky568 3 роки тому +1

    people watching who live on 302 northmain street: 😳

  • @kaylatowe9946
    @kaylatowe9946 7 років тому

    ❤❤❤been here for a while nice vids❤❤❤

  • @kalebblack2473
    @kalebblack2473 7 років тому +1

    Lonely Hearts * =
    Tones* Hell Year

  • @tristahnbenn6930
    @tristahnbenn6930 7 років тому +1

    Oh good it's 10:24 and I need to go to sleep

  • @BStagg82
    @BStagg82 7 років тому +1

    Doughboy. LMAO.

  • @WarthogDemon
    @WarthogDemon 7 років тому +8

    Can we have a female version? Equal gender representation? :P

  • @traderlincolnmitchell9786
    @traderlincolnmitchell9786 7 років тому +1

    good video

  • @pamcausey9676
    @pamcausey9676 5 років тому

    So funny, awesome.

  • @funnyvideosRawesome5
    @funnyvideosRawesome5 7 років тому +1

    Hey, I met my guy on OKCupid! Lol

  • @doitlikethebereans1690
    @doitlikethebereans1690 7 років тому

    A safe risk taker 😂

  • @LoveTodayASMR
    @LoveTodayASMR 7 років тому

    😂 don't take it personally 😂😴

  • @morganmiller7428
    @morganmiller7428 4 роки тому +1

    This makes me want to go on a self improvement kick....Is this unhealthy? Lol

  • @DwightLivesMatter
    @DwightLivesMatter 6 років тому

    Why is there an asterisk next to the “LONELY HEARTS*🚫” sign? Lol