I have had MULTIPLE ex girlfriends reach out after no contact after I swore I'd never hear from them again.I have been in no contact for multipe years and they reach out. There is one that got married and STILL reaches out from time to time. Always work on YOU be the best version you can be and most times when they DO reach out, you won't even be interested.
There are days the pain has paralyzed me. I have to watch one of your videos on that day just to get up and do something with my life. Right now I’m just surviving but it’s enough for now. I’ve attended counseling, continue to workout, pray, and watch your videos. Thank you.
Unless you have caused the break up, you should not be heartbroken for people who do not know the sanctity of love and leave you to be with another person following their selfish greed.
This was deep. I literally cried watching this because at the end of the day, even if I die w/ heartbreak, I have myself to love n care for. Thank you so very much for taking the time to make this video.
Hi Ken Coach Lee is brilliant he helped me through No Contact 3 years ago You bring a new dynamic I have been fighting my heart over my head ever since she returned then left 18 months ago. You are so right don’t let them define you or make them the centre of your universe. Grow and realise your worth especially when they cannot self reflect
I love this guy so much!! 🤗 He explains the pain and the agony so much better than anyone else I've ever found. The not being able to breathe and wanting God to just take you out...Etc. That is so dead- spot- on!! Wow. 👍🏻😔💔
I messed it up man. 7 year relationship, for the past year and a half she only asked me to do little things like going out on walks with her, picnics etc. Just little things that couples do. Not just stay in the house all the time. That’s all I had to do. I let it build, I didn’t make her feel heard, and now it’s over. She says she hopes we can reconnect in the future, and as much as I want to, I know I can’t hold that to heart just cause life is unfair and things happen. Right person wrong time. I let myself get into a rut and get lazy, and I lost the girl I loved.
Same thing happened to me. The conclusion I've reached is that those small things should never be enough to end a relationship that has lasted that long where she cared about you a lot. It's her fault for not having a proper serious sit down with you to stress that the pain of not being heard has built up and that immediate action is needed, instead of pressing the red button straight away.
She reached out 6 month after nc. Deleted message before I replied. She, apologised for messaging me she had been drinking. Back into NC. No social media, no likes or anything with her. Then last week I seen her on a dating app. I tried to avoid and it lands on my lap. Sets me back a step. I want her back, I'm a better version of myself for me which raises my value to others.
Every time I listen to you I know what you say is true even though I want this person back so bad...but then my brain says I need to listen to you over and over again because I know he and I won't ever be together again, nor should we...thank you!
I went into no contact on my own about 4 weeks ago. I had not found coach Ken yet. Coach gives me hope now. But. Nevertheless even if I hadn’t found coach, I’m still moving forward. I had a 3 month super nova. I at least had a great time. Thank goodness I didn’t memorize his phone number. I deleted it so I wouldn’t grovel. Drunk dial- cause I would’ve.
Binge watching your videos . The fool that kept me hooked who told me he was "emotionally unavailable" for 2 yrs, didnt want anyone, just wants what we have...its nice and easy and we both enjoy it ...theres no other women ... ..bla bla bla, has been seeing another woman, whos married, ....for the last 3 mnths WHILE STILL seeing me. I found out by accident....so im going thru hell the last 5 days. But youre helping 🙏
What hopefully can help you is to keep in mind that he'll never change, dynamic of your relationship will never change so what's the point? Wishing you speedy recovery 🙏
Ok Coach Ken, first I want to say it’s great to see you back! So glad you are better. Secondly, this video was fantastic! Especially the part that if this doesn’t work, maybe I was I love with a narcissist lol. Still got jokes. It’s true, NO Contact works! The first time we broke up, HE reached out 5 mos later and I ran back……we broke up a 2nd time bc I didn’t work on me. His last words were, “ Let’s NEVER contact each other again….. A year after the 2nd break up, he emailed and called relentlessly until I responded. I went thru therapy during that time apart and didn’t miss him as much. We slowly got back together, but 2 years later and moving together, we broke up again a few mos ago. He said he didn’t like who he was becoming and didn’t want to go to couples therapy which I felt would help. I moved out 5 days after while he was at work and have remained no contact for 8 mos so far. This time I want to do deeper work on me bc he made me feel like I was the problem. I also want to be better prepared “in case” he comes back. I do not expect it. Never expected it the other 2 times either, but bc I didn’t fully work on me, it kept failing. No Contact works especially if you take the time to work on yourself. This way, you can be prepared for anything that can happen. I never thought he would come back because he never looks back once he breaks up. So be prepared because if he came back after breaking up 2x, then anything is possible when there is no contact.
Very true - it can work multiple times even if they know what you're doing and why. Especially like that you mentioned working on yourself because otherwise it's usually a temporary win if you don't.
She left to Columbia, FaceTimed me to say she wasn't coming back and broke up with me. Called me after 15 days, it was short and I kept it light and fun. I haven't heard nothing since, back to no contact. What now cause this sucks.
Coach Ken your content is the absolute gold standard, your ability to articulate the intricacies of relationships/breakups and express understanding and solidarity for the emotions of people suffering is second to none. Your channel has quickly become a valuable resource for me after experiencing my first break up that's left me very confused as my ex dumped me but on good terms, she requested we do NC which I have been doing but I'm about to break to apologise as I put her in the numb stage. But, we agreed to meet up in Summer this year to reconnect in some way, I'm not sure if that works for me or against me as I don't know if she's using this time to fully detach from me, I am trying to hold onto hope as both of us expressed our love for one another repeatedly even as she broke up with me.
Thank you so much Lou - the time apart will instinctively create a greater fear of loss, but its usually the best way to recreate attraction and build a sense of significant loss, despite the anxiety it might generate in the person doing it.
My will to try broke, so I went NC. Blocked everywhere because after how they acted, he would need to fight to get into my life. The love, trust and even respect has all gone
I find this super difficult because every bone in my body tells me she is talking to someone else , but here you bring up the point that sometimes they are so overwhelmed that they fall back. Idk what and where she is anymore she swears up and down she loves me and wants me but never texts calls or even messages , only every other week reaches out makes a sly comment if I don't reply right away then disappears again . I don't know what to do and it really hurts
Great advice Coach Ken. I really like your ability to deliver messages in a compassionate & logical way. I am currently 2 weeks no contact from a 7 month long distance relationship. We met in the same city & she already had plans to move 2 months in. So 2 months in the same city & then long distance for 5 months. When we were together, we spent a lot of our time together & it was easy to connect thru mind/body/soul. I believe that I triggered one of her deepest fears, I ended up in the hospital after an incident. When she broke up with me, I strung the words out of her mouth & acted indifferent. After 3 days, I asked her for a call so I could share my thoughts with her. During that call, she expressed that she was "lost in sadness" & felt disorganized in her thoughts/feelings. She got back to me a few days later & said it was not right for her at this time. She said she loved me, cared for me, & grateful for our time together. I simply said, I understand, I wish it was a different call, I respect your decision. Since that call, I have muted her notifications across social media. She still follows me on all platforms. I have not reached out at all & been spending time focusing the love I have to give on myself (gym, work, friends, family). The hurt still comes in waves. She has my bike with her in the other city, I have no urgency to get it back, but we will have to have some sort of correspondence in the future. Do I hope I get her back? Sure. Primarily, I hope to get myself back, I have a blessed life & a promising future. Thanks for all your wisdom.
Be patient with yourself while you're going through it. The anxiety and fear comes in inconsistent waves after it starts to fade - and when it comes back it can rattle you deeply if you don't know it's a normal thing. Hope all goes well at the bike exchange - go with 1. warm 2. relaxed and 3. brief when you see her
Im going back to no contact, the reason he broke up with me was my fault, I have 100% changed the reason, and took accountability, we were talkig again after a week of NC (I reached out) for about a week, he told me he misses me, wanted to see me, thinks about me and sometimes thinks about being back with me, then just stoped responding after he said he sometimes thinks about being with me. This morning, I apologized for not seeing that I was hurting him sooner and that I needed to be hurt to see it. I told him that I would not be reaching out anymore as of today (no response from him though.) It hurts soooo unbelievably badly. I miss him so much. I already regret saying I wasn't going to try to talk to him anymore.
I am a little bit in despare... as a mum I am right now not able to get this independent perfect person :( I try but this will cause a move away as I cannot get independetn in such a little town. However, when I move away, which wont be so soon as there is a school duty here, so I am limited to my freedom, I will not be reachable. So get together isnt possible: as long as I am here, I only can try to work on my mental health which is not a visible thing, but when it will be visible I will be far away .... what is about mums? what can they do? right now I am very limited...
Lost my partner due to going through a few months of depression that spiralled, was complicated though as the depression got bad because we were fighting all time and the burnout from trying to keep a long distance relationship going, i withdrew trying to desperately make myself better and trying to have all answers to our relationship was too much to deal with.wont contact her but a part of me hopes shes reach out one day.dont know if this classes as me being at fault but i was trying to put my mental health first.and the arguing was making me ill.
i'm afraid i caused the breakup. i caused conflict, made him move out, and then i traveled and stopped initiating contact. this was after i begged for attention for months. instead of missing me and appreciating me after giving him space, he broke up. however, there were issues from the beginning. i always was more attracted to him and invested in him. i gave more than him. i burned out. when i stopped being a doormat and my anxiety took over, he was done.
Hard to gage from those details. First part sounded like you caused it - last part sounded like he was the one at fault. But if you owned and apologized for your mistakes don't allow them to excuse his lack of consideration or bad behavior. Would love to discuss the details if needed, just let me know if you book something realcoachken.com
Why you are willing your ex back? Yes you loved him/her. But you are not for nothing divorced. Why you are willing him/her back? You don't love yourself, cann't be alone and that's why you will not seeing the bads in the relation. Sometimes they have make you addicted to your them by all the playings.. Trauma bonding. Work on yourself and go further with your life. That's not love, That's addiction to a bad people for you.
@@CoachKen Hey brother if i can ask you to share your wisdom on small matter....bumped into my ex today after 3 weeks begging and 3.5 weeks now no contact, she hugged me, kissed me on a cheek and ask how i am...only answered to her amazing...dom't feel like share to much....now to understand better last time we hugged we were together....my thinking she's trying to feel where i am, probably thinking gonna text her to boost her ego knowing i'm still around, which in no fckin way ever gonna do that to myself again, also she was overly happy you can feel from a plane she's fakeing that sh....thats about it, what's your opinion if you can share, if not brother i understand.....much love💙
7:00, coach ken please reply, what if I did, I did own up to it, I did tell them how sorry I was, I told them I wasn’t the man I could’ve been, and I told them I realize now, I’m a different person now, I told them how much I love them, and how far I’m willing to go, and they’re still in the numb state, and that they love me but aren’t IN love with me and they tell me they can’t right now, and they don’t see us working in the future. What do I do. I can’t handle this. 3 years. I love her so much. I messed up.
I don't know all the details but give it time - when they are in the numb state sometimes it takes longer to process and pull out of that stage. Knowing you see the mistakes and feel the loss can also be something that temporarily boosts their sense of newfound strength. Deep breath - give it some time
@@CoachKen I’ll take your advice, there are so many details that go into it I wish I could tell you all of them, but what do you mean ‘knowing you see the mistakes and feel the loss, can be something that temporarily boosts their strength’ wasn’t that I was supposed to do? Own up? Take responsibility?.
So i caused the breakup and she is in a numb state. How do i fix it? I told her I’d change and wanted to fix things but she said she needed space and didn’t believe me. She has blocked me and moved back home to be close to her family.
Same thing here too. Except she didnt tell me anything just straight up ghosted me and picked up her things next day. I quit drinking and started going to church (i was a toxic drunk). But i cant even show her i changed if she moved away and blocked me lol.
I’m 35 my ex is 48, I did call her and text her a lot after the break up, she said she cared about me but won’t talk to me awhile, she left me for a guy I believe closer to her age with more money. We had a great relationship for over a year, im devastated and I guess no contact won’t help me
Tried to book a consult, but you're two weeks out... 😭 What if you both did wrong, but he won't own up to his mistakes and only blames me? We constantly fought about his lack of boundaries with other women and his constant need to be his baby mama and her familes superhero... I read his journal, which I promised I never would, but his behaviors were throwing off and giving me anxiety. In his journal, he confesedbto cheating. And many other things before my time that I was having a hard time letting go. Maybe if I had approached things differently, we would have had a better outcome 😢
Was in no contact and she finally texted me. But she only texted me out of anger because I accepted an old girl I use to talk to on fb. Did that ruin my chances to get her back?
Great content Coach! Please I need some advice, 2.5 years together, 1) I neglected her needs towards the end of the relationship. 2) She used a confrontation that we had to break up. I agreed at first. 3) I told her I wanted to try things again, she didn’t want to. I over-persuaded her by showing up to her house and she just asked me to stop. Should I be using no contact?
Yes, do No contact. Let them reach out to you first. I was in NC for 18 months, saw her around town 5-6x in that time span, and I did not reach out to her.
Yes. Stop reaching out and go complete radio silence via NC, no calls, texts or social media. Otherwise you'll blow it. I've been NC for 3 months after 8 years together.
Excellent. Thank you. 15 months now. Am not expecting much. She was unfaithful - pretty much a hoe and I had no idea. But I still love her. But I will not be contacting her .. ever !
If your ex dumps you because she lost a family member her mother and u was in a temporary LDR and she breaks up with you because of others like her dad and friends and since then she becomes someone else can these types of break ups be saved? we haven't spoken in 7 weeks we now live in separate countries. At first she was saying i want to be single and be with my friends who was there for her when she was grieving her lost. Can a person change so much that it will make them not want the relationship they had? I was so good to her and she discarded me like i was some piece of trash.
The thing is, after a few days of no contact I realised that I wasn't trying as hard as I thought I was but in the moment it truly felt like I was trying so hard to be better for her but it wasn't enough. Right now we are in no contact, we still go to school together and she just blocked me everywhere. Part of me knows that we can be so happy together. Part of me knows that it wasn't all my fault but I don't know if this will ever happen for me again
It’s been 4 months since we broke up, it was a 4.5 years relationship with so many issues before the break up, a lot of them was my fault. We were still hanging out and acting like we were dating until last week I begged him again and learned that he still didn’t want to get back tgt, more like the more time he thinks the more he is firmed with his decision. I never have the strength to stay in nc for more than a day, but I think this time I have no chance cuz he made it so clear, if I continue with this than I clearly have no self respect.. it’s been 4 days and it hurts so bad it feels like part of me is missing and I can’t do anything but let this pain consume me
Coach Ken, does no contact work for ex’s that have the “completer or defender” mentality? That’s the personality type that you mentioned where the ex is non confrontational and isn’t vocal about issues. PLEASE HELP on what to do to get them back. It’s been a month of no contact 🙏
Yeah I went no contact got me a ass whooping, hadn't seen or talked to my ex in a year, she showed up at my child's school opened my car door, violently lashed out, beat me in my head and ribs, I WONT hit a woman took the blows in silence, she told me she was going to " blow my GD brains out" after she left my car I dialed 911 she was arrested and I was given a restraining order!! Why this happened I have no idea I was dumped by text on my bday, it had been a good relationship so idk what happened other than no contact got we a ass whooping and now a court case!!! And I had deleted my social media, my friends kept letting me know how she was posting how happy she was, posting the new guy with quotes aimed at me, I ignored so I have no idea what her issue was
Coach my ex broke up with me after 4 yrs and jumped into a rebound the same week. I begged a little and then went no contact for 3 weeks. She reached out and called me only to say that she felt people were treating me mean and cried then said "someone told me you are still waiting on me"? I said I wasn't and did love her and wanted her back but that I wasn't waiting. We talked for almost 2 hours while still with this guy. This guy is 31 and still lives with his parents !! And I'm better on ALL levels. He has low income job. To contrast I have a 6 figure income and I'm a good person I have since went back into no contact. Makes no sense.. she has been with him now for 1.5 months. So still in beginning stages. Now also I saw on her Pinterest she is saving stuff for wedding, engagement rings and kids!!! Like WTH! Any thoughts? Will this fail. Her best friend still thinks she will come back once this fails. I should also say there is a 20 yr difference between us. Also she is very stubborn. Says she never goes back.
leave her this time and focus on your life. Her behaviour looks immature but it's her way to grow up and decide what she really wants. Let her go with him, don't look his income and life's situation, today it's not easy to be financial independent. The most important it's his heart, how he is like a human. But also their relationship will be never like yours. If you are sure that your relationship was really good, lovely, powerful and high value , she will miss them and when she will be ready, she will back, if not then it's better than she is far away and you have time and space to focus on your life. Do you really want to be with someone who is immature ? I am sure no, so let her go and do your life better without her, take a deep breath and go ahead. If she will be ready , she will find ways to you, if she preffers easier life, easier people, easier relationship, it's her choice, don't take it personal. You always choose high value life and do everything what makes you better human, what really makes you happy. If you will go through good way , then nothing will happen than only good things 🌸
@erickutcher7782...I feel your pain. The one glaring error I see is the fact that she is not higher value, as compared to you, who is obviously of much greater value. I don't mean she is not a valuable woman to love, but I mean she is not anywhere near your maturity-level, and 20 years is huge. Maybe your 4 years together blinded you to her destructive inner "needs"? In my opinion, you should go no contact for foreseeable future, redirect that self-destructive inner energy to work on yourself. I am not making light of this character-improvement issue, LOL. As I worked on myself, my inner depression slowly lifted, after divorce and relocation, years ago. Please respond, Erick, if I can be of further help. Thanks from Darrell. PS: Your input is of help to all who have relationship concerns.
@@darrellborland119 it's tough because she is also high value. Beautiful, educated, great paying job. So she is even above this guy on all levels. If you saw her with this guy and knew he still lived with his parents then you would be shocked! The fact she went out with him the same week we broke up is shocking. She still has feelings for me I know because she told me. But I've been in no contact for a month. Although like I said she reached out 3 weeks in my NC. So I don't count that as NC. So over 4 weeks now. With her reaching out for some bogus reason that wanted to make sure I wasn't "waiting on her"? That was her testing the waters I believe? But went right back into no contact. Haven't heard from her since. But she is a very stubborn girl. Says she never goes back to exes. But after this rebound fails she will either regret and come back or try to stick it out with this guy. Their only connection is that their families are friends so she sort of grew up with him. But this guy is low hanging fruit. Zero motivation. Drug abuse history. Low value, easy romance target. So I'm sure he will hang on for dear life. Dads a doctor so I'm sure mommy and daddy will supply him money for dates and such to make him look better than he really is. This guy can't even survive on his own
What if you’re in the wrong (in a marriage) and you want her back more than ever but she’s already moved out into a (6month lease) and she filed divorce? I’ve signed up for therapy and go to church now to find god in this horrible time in my life. How do i go about either getting her back or letting go
Coach Ken, can you do more videos when it’s your fault that cause your ex to break up with you not bc he lost attraction nor bc he doesn’t love you. It’s my situation right now.
Completely depends on the details of the situation. Usually not the case, but sometimes it can be more effective but harder to get that route right and very challenging if you're dealing with the fresh pain of very painful breakup
The last conversation I had with my ex after she had dumped me was extremely bad and my behaviour was to tell how bad she is and all of her what I thoughts her faults where. I done this because she was completely ignoring whilst a lived there before my moving out date I regret doing this and want to apologise. Should I after weeks of no contact.
But what if she blocked me on everything i tried to do everything to work our marriage out but her mother always caused problems and she choose her mother's side over herlife and go futher and say my mother is aginst this and did everything to be with you but i don't see us having future together
I said sorry , for how my trauma affected the relationship. He's wanted to start friends but i couldn't. we are in nc will that work? He says he doesn't see a future blindside me
It can work but its more of an emotional challenge - you have to make sure you aren't chasing or coming across like you're just waiting for the chance to "win them back" - it's difficult but doable
@CoachKen he said he doesn't see me romantically, saidwe don't work, was toxic. Only reason I'm in nc is because I said I couldn't be friends and needed time. He said I understand. 4 weeks and nothing. We fought a lot and were long distance but visited me twice but feel it may be someone else. What should I do if he's on the other side of the world and ok without me.
She was kind, thoughtful, clearly intelligent, very insightful, determined, shy, one of the hardest workers I’d ever seen, and I’d never known anyone endure so much pain for so long from the the two people she loved the most - namely her parents - and she seemed to have this deep ache to BE GOOD. Not sure how much sense that makes unless you know her. But if you spent enough time with her - or had enough late night hours long conversations you could clearly see an overwhelming belief that she was profoundly broken. It didn’t seem to matter how hard she fought to prove she could have worth or be loved or be seen as a miracle in some meaningful way - no matter what she did or how hard she tried, something undeniable in her knew she was bad in some unchangeable cursed way. She seemed oblivious to any of the incredible things about her - and something about that humility, willingness to do what she needed to do, relentless determination to keep trying and hoping to know she was GOOD in some way that might make God proud, her parents gush, and herself feel grateful to be who she was. I think God puts amazing, sincerely mesmerizing, miracle things inside all of us - and I think if anyone takes the time or cares enough to look for those things they can find them in almost anyone. I was definitely mesmerized. She pulled me in until I was desperate for her to see herself how I saw her because I knew if she did she’d have the peace her own mom and dad seemed desperate to keep her from having about herself. If they kept her convinced she was broken and needed them to find worth it gave them deep control - and they loved control more than they ever loved her, if they ever loved her at all. They broke her over and over and over to keep it. But eventually, she started despising me for being pathetic enough to tolerate her selfish, disgusting manipulations and almost constant abuse. I stayed to fight for her because I remember being in love and thinking I was "proving my love" by enduring her abuse. I was wrong. She found excitement in cheating on me, felt superior by lying to me, felt more powerful than me by beating me, hating me, manipulating me or anything else she needed in whatever hidden thing she was doing to feel better about herself. I stayed so long it drained me of everything I just told you I ever felt about her. I can still remember feeling a very deep, strong, intensely protective love for her - for a long time - but not anymore. I carry a lot of frustration for my former self for accepting the repeated clear signals of abuse which I kept choosing to ignore. I think of her and I still flood with anger and self contempt for being blind enough to let someone like her in my life to do the poisonous evil things she did to me and the people I love most - my kids. It doesn’t matter how much pain or hurt or suffering her selfish manipulations cause someone else. Doesn’t matter if the people it curses and wounds include her own daughter. It doesn’t matter how much her own daughter needs her Dad in her life. It doesn’t matter that the truth is something she killed and buried for sympathy, cash, and control. Because CONTROL is what she comes the closest to loving. It gives her a sense of SUPERIORITY and sense of being RIGHT and BRILLIANT - and it doesn’t matter how INFERIOR or EVIL or LOATHSOME she has to be to FEEL all of the things about herself that aren’t true. It doesn’t even matter that all of it proves she’s become JUST LIKE THE MOM that tormented her for so many years. Nothing else matters to her - except her. Nothing - not even our daughter. I could NEVER love someone like her the way I thought I did because ALL of the WORST things about her are, unlike her deep wounds, her choice and hers alone. She could have told the truth then - she could still tell the truth now. She could give her daughter a loving father back - but she won’t. She could have the strength to get help for her wounds the right way and do her best to STOP from passing the scars and curse to my daughter - but that would take courage and true love - so she won’t. She’s never been who I believed she was. At some point, the beautiful and sweet little girl got so emotionally beaten and bloodied and degraded that all that overwhelming loneliness, feelings of rejection, and lies that led her to believe she was broken and filled her with despair and self-loathing actually turned into a very dark tangible HATRED for anyone who made her feel even slightly rejected. And she was unbelievably skilled in taking anything like: words, situation, response, paranoid beliefs, internal monologuing, suspicion, rumor, idiot friend suggestions, truth, reasonable explanations, sincere motivations and TRANSFORMING them into undeniable evidence that she was being unfairly seen, hated, judged, rejected, talked about, thrown away, abandoned, unmasked, cheated, taken advantage of, played for a fool, undervalued, overvalued, or disliked. Once the thought entered her mind that you might not see her as the single greatest flawless beautiful and perfect human being to ever draw breath - then she’d flood with violent dangerous hate directed at whoever caused her to feel that intense rejection. It was all or nothing with her. When she was all IN - she was kind and rational, and so much fun to be around or talk to. It was incredible - she was amazing. When it turned, then NOTHING I could do would have changed anything - She was an angry, spiteful, hateful, cruel, childish, selfish, miserably toxic person who felt some intoxicating thrill anytime she could cause tormenting pain to the person she wanted to know suffered for making her feel anything other than 1000% loved and worshipped. I don't believe she'd ever give up that secret evil part of herself. It's her protector and her evidence of worth that she’s so much smarter and craftier than everyone else - it’s the PROOF that she has some worth because in her twisted mind it takes brilliance to be able to manipulate and hurt someone as deeply as she does on a routine basis - In other words, being a truly horrible human being is her evidence that she has some VALUE as a person - even though her parents, especially her own disgusting mother refused to ever acknowledge she had any special value at all. It was tragic and inexcusable to know and understand the pain they caused her when she was a little girl. Even when I think about it now it makes me feel insane with anger to imagine her as the little sweet beautiful little girl who just wanted to know she was good - wanted to know her parents felt love for her the way she felt it for them, and the way other daughters seemed to get it so easily from the other moms and dads. They are two of the very weakest and very worst people I’ve ever been cursed to know - and they raised her using cruelty and relentless condemnation to maintain unhealthy abusive control of her life through a manipulated twisted self image they created for her and made her own for her entire life. But that was a long time ago - when she was a helpless little girl. She’s not helpless anymore. She isn’t nearly as confused anymore. She isn’t unable to change anything or confront the truth or refuse to carry on the curse. Now she’s part of the curse. She’s the cruel selfish miserably weak and intentionally blind person making every choice based on her own compulsions to control her own helpless beautiful little girl. She isn’t protecting her own daughter the way someone should have protected her years ago. She’s passing on the agony because it’s what she has to do to not feel terrified or risk being rejected again. She’s every bit as evil as the darkness that tormented her for so many years. She’s a coward.
@@CoachKen Thank you so much for taking the time for such an insightful answer... Wow.. I'm sorry you went through all that. 😔 I understand now a bit better the pain you describe often. May the Lord guide you and keep you further. You are an exceptional person.
Hi Ken. Thank you for your videos. They are helpful. I am having a hard time determining if I was truly at fault for the breakup. She mentioned some things that to most of my friends don't seem breakup Worthy. Things like I kept a cluttered home and wasn't organized. Things I've already solved but haven't shown her because I'm in NC. Most of the things you mentioned about not using NC initially seemed far more impactful than anything I've done. Therefore, I think NC is the way to go. But I'm still a bit confused as to whether or not the things I did were breakup worthy to the extent that I need to show her something by breaking NC.. thoughts? I've begun therapy and my therapist has stated that because the breakup was initiated by her, she believes it would be better for my mental health to allow any future contact to be guided by her. She did reach out twice already. We had exchanged a series of emails about 5 days after the breakup. Then I went and see and she contacted me through social media. Fairly innocuous. And then texted me a few days later asking me to call her. But that was also relatively innocuous with no talk about the breakup. Not sure about next steps.
In my case they said they tried telling me many times but we never had a conversation about any if things they said was a problem. There was no conversation ever. I was supposed to "just know". Its just so confusing. I agree i could have been more attentive but my grandad died and i guess i kinda just pulled away without realizing. But instead if telling me they go and cheat. But i still want to be with them but i wouldnt take them back if they asked, if that makes sense. Just very hurt and betrayed.
You will okay .. god closes a door and opens new one 💕 we we are in pain its no rational but truth is feeling get renewed every time every day ❤️ Stay strong see the good in yourself
Tried to fix everything I caused. With ways I would never imagine. She forgave me for the 3 days I went to see her. A week later she broke up again. I kept trying. All I got was. " you ain't good enough for me. Never was" I think she forgave me just to have the upper hand in the break up. Because I f up the first time and kicked her out. She let me back in so she can be the one breaking up with me. Thankfully after 4 months of crying 24/7 therapy and pills. The whole relationship is blocked out. I literally can't remember shit. Idk how or why it happened. I just remember some pictures with her in it. That's it. I still stalk her tho. She is happier than ever apparently with her new situationship. I still want her back. But it won't happen. Too much pride. Even if she comes. Nothing will be the same.
Hey Ken. It was good meeting with you last week. I'm confused now though. Im my situation I chose to pause our relationship in order to figure out if I could be a step parent. We stayed friends and continued casually "dating" for another year and a half.. After I tried dating one other person who had adult aged kids for three months, that relationship ended and within a couple months I realized I loved my friend. She ended our relationship because she wanted to stay just friends and she knew I wanted more. I effectively caused the breakup because I needed to pause and because I took her for granted when she was willing to do anything to be with me. I started in modified no contact because she's reached out several times, but now its been radio silence for 10 days. Should I be in no contact or not? 🤷♂️
Coach Ken, My ex-boyfriend knew from the start I wasn't willing to relocate, and he said he was willing and nothing holding him there. (We lived in separate states). After 7 months of a "perfect" relationship, he says he wants US and is willing to relocate. I'm thrilled! Suddenly, he broke up with me and made sure he did it on a day he knew meant alot of past pain to me! Ive gone no contact 7 months Neither of us are in contact. His one ex girlfriend, he tracked her down and showed up at her new residence in another state, and I asked him why he'd do that if she said no to a relationship with him, and he said "if she saw me, I thought she'd be impressed I flew out to see her". He's a FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT guy. Can you do a video on that attachment style please? Thank you! ❤
Dear Cynthia, I’m stunned how stupid you are emotionally to Tolerate a Judas Betrayer?! You’re pretty - you can attract a better man… Ditch this creep, he’s already chosen his ex! How insane
what if what he asked you was to stop texting - give him space but you didnt really because you feared lsoing themand tried to communicate when they didn't want to ? I apologised and I said i wasn't expecting forgiveness I wanted to apologise for me to start healing. It was a tough year for me (no job for a few months, my dad got cancer, and it was a LDR so distance added to my anxiety ... I became a bit controlling and insecure the more he pulled away :( ) ... do you think he's numb? I think he really loved me , he brought uo kids and rings a lot the first 7 months
I unfortunately went into no contact because of the emotions. That i hurt them & they hurt me by walking way at my lowest. I had step back & work on myself struggling with the connection to reach out & when did talk it go back into triggering both of us. Now im stepping in myself we connected but she is with someoneelse i think since she walked away. Im hoping to be able show up with no expectation, though i would like us to rekindle. Then there is the fear that it is to late for me. Any advice would be appreciated to better this connection once again.
Deep breath - whole other level of a challenge, although usually with BPD they are addictive and amazing people so the temptation is powerful despite the odds being against you. Watch these if yu get the chance: ua-cam.com/video/HxQuAaEyyrg/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/QXLd2YpAG_8/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/kxY5JRoXcmM/v-deo.html
Coach Ken, I have a very confusing situation here. What if I am the one who broke things off due to being in a stressful situation where I didn’t feel like I could be as emotionally available as she deserved, but now that things have calmed down I want to work it out? There was no real loss of attraction or big blow up, and things were passionate. I did no contact for 30 days for her sake, and she reached out with “are you okay?”. I replied warmly and then a few days later asked if she would like to get lunch. She had blocked me? I feel as though I should fight for her since I am the one who left and it is my place to fix things. Thank you for all you do.
10 year relationship, just had 2 kids (1/3), recently broke up with me. Found out a couple days later she is attempting to marry a man in prison she knew from high school We have kids, so unsure NC will work. We still gotta see eachother. the situation is entirely confusing, and all i can blame currently is miscommunication. None of it makes sense
I'm sorry for your loss man. I feel your pain to a smaller degree, I'm glad to say it's not as bad as your story - yours sounds truly heart wrenching. You will feel better one day, I promise ❤
Hey coach, or really anyone who can give me advice on this. I've been in no contact for almost 3 weeks. We had a 2-year relationship, which was great for the most part as we traveled together from NZ to Australia and have been living together 2 years. Were both from different countries on visas so eventually we knew our visas would expire, however the relationship had become complacent and routine and she lost the spark, sabotaged it by cheating with some guy on vacation and then left me. I was angry and kicked her out, now i feel it was a mutual breakup in my heart. But now im leaving to go back the the usa in a few days, and wanted to know if i should reach out with the concept of we had a good run and wish her the best, or stay no contact, leave without telling her and let her feel the regret and weight of her loss when she finds out im gone forever
Dated the woman of my dreams for a year. Recently she broke up with me due to a couple of differences such as me being hard headed about not wanting much posted on social media. (Just me being hard headed) Towards the end, before the break up I changed and she was my fb profile pic and relationship. It was already too late. Couple other differences but nothing major. I loved every bit of her and treated her and her family great. Been in no contact for a few weeks. Her stuff still at my place. (So I know there will be a contact eventually) I’m struggling with NC is it the right or wrong thing to do? She recently stopped Snapchat me and also stoped sharing location through iPhone. Please guys give me solid advice?! Is my NC right or wrong?? I feel like I’m losing her more and more
I have had a breakup from a 2 month relationship. I know it seems like a short period of time for a breakup to happen but i really love this person and i believe she does too. I made a mistake but it was really unintentioal so she wanted her personal space and time. I'm currently in the no contact phase. What do you think? Does it have the possibility to work
Most you people have to stop looking outside for validation look inside self love change your thoughts aswell people can tell if your still the same person
you might need to click to September - let me know if that's what it is and I'll try to get you in sooner on my end - I just had an opening for the 14th come open. coachken@dotheyloveme.com
Well she tried to hide a guy that texted her right in front of me. I said why hide it? She was like cuz you’ll get mad. She’s been caught cheating before and the fact that she tried to hide it I told her pack her stuff and get out calmly. She did and just said “okay” that was it. She left but I still love her and know I need to move on. I called her 2 weeks later and told her I apologize for things I said after and would like to reconcile with you and if you change your mind give me a call. Haven’t heard nothing. We’ve been together 5 years and share a child.
Sometimes I wish I could let you tead the text history on the DM of his just to get your opinion. But i deleted him as a friend amd c6nat access it... and good riddance. He's in that category of "a lot of life issues" right now, but it still takes ten seconds to say "cant talk, love you". Wjy is thay do hard? Work and family issues aside.
I have had MULTIPLE ex girlfriends reach out after no contact after I swore I'd never hear from them again.I have been in no contact for multipe years and they reach out. There is one that got married and STILL reaches out from time to time. Always work on YOU be the best version you can be and most times when they DO reach out, you won't even be interested.
And what is the benefit of it, opportunity is missed 😂
@@tillarman The opportunity to repeat the same mistake.
There are days the pain has paralyzed me. I have to watch one of your videos on that day just to get up and do something with my life. Right now I’m just surviving but it’s enough for now. I’ve attended counseling, continue to workout, pray, and watch your videos. Thank you.
I am right here with you!! We survive. We get through it. Together.
@@Ellael98 Together we are strong!
I'm here too, in exactly the same boat. Pain is real
Unless you have caused the break up, you should not be heartbroken for people who do not know the sanctity of love and leave you to be with another person following their selfish greed.
Same here😢 heart broken 💔
Stellar job Coach Ken!! 21 months in no contact after a 22 yr relationship. I'm done.
You're like a father I never had, your life advices are priceless.
This was deep. I literally cried watching this because at the end of the day, even if I die w/ heartbreak, I have myself to love n care for. Thank you so very much for taking the time to make this video.
Thank you Melo - that means a lot
Been almost 13 months NC , NC works 💯! Meaning NC is not to get you're Ex back, it's to get You back !
same
😂😂😂😂
Exactly. If they left there's a reason. Move on clean yourself up and try again with someone new.
What a fking great business. If you fail you still succed
Sometimes both - but you're right about which one matters the most
Hi Ken
Coach Lee is brilliant he helped me through No Contact 3 years ago
You bring a new dynamic I have been fighting my heart over my head ever since she returned then left 18 months ago. You are so right don’t let them define you or make them the centre of your universe. Grow and realise your worth especially when they cannot self reflect
Thank you Gee! I agree - Coach Lee is brilliant and thank you for the kind message and healthy insight
Ladies and gentlemen. This is GOLDEN!
Thank you Spyyer! Much appareciated
@@CoachKen much deserved.
I love this guy so much!! 🤗
He explains the pain and the agony so much better than anyone else I've ever found. The not being able to breathe and wanting God to just take you out...Etc.
That is so dead- spot- on!!
Wow. 👍🏻😔💔
Thank you Johnny! Appreciate the kind words and hope you're well!
Your most depressing video so far 😩 But also the most realistic one
Thanks Sylvain!
I messed it up man. 7 year relationship, for the past year and a half she only asked me to do little things like going out on walks with her, picnics etc. Just little things that couples do. Not just stay in the house all the time. That’s all I had to do. I let it build, I didn’t make her feel heard, and now it’s over. She says she hopes we can reconnect in the future, and as much as I want to, I know I can’t hold that to heart just cause life is unfair and things happen. Right person wrong time. I let myself get into a rut and get lazy, and I lost the girl I loved.
Same spot you’re in. Any updates
@@rigodenero same exact thing man
Same thing happened to me. The conclusion I've reached is that those small things should never be enough to end a relationship that has lasted that long where she cared about you a lot. It's her fault for not having a proper serious sit down with you to stress that the pain of not being heard has built up and that immediate action is needed, instead of pressing the red button straight away.
She reached out 6 month after nc. Deleted message before I replied. She, apologised for messaging me she had been drinking. Back into NC. No social media, no likes or anything with her. Then last week I seen her on a dating app. I tried to avoid and it lands on my lap.
Sets me back a step. I want her back, I'm a better version of myself for me which raises my value to others.
Every time I listen to you I know what you say is true even though I want this person back so bad...but then my brain says I need to listen to you over and over again because I know he and I won't ever be together again, nor should we...thank you!
Wow…. This is one of the greatest videos I’ve seen on a breakup.
Thanks Julian - appreciate the kind words
"You want somebody who stands by you when you're going through the valleys too"
I went into no contact on my own about 4 weeks ago. I had not found coach Ken yet. Coach gives me hope now. But. Nevertheless even if I hadn’t found coach, I’m still moving forward. I had a 3 month super nova. I at least had a great time. Thank goodness I didn’t memorize his phone number. I deleted it so I wouldn’t grovel. Drunk dial- cause I would’ve.
Binge watching your videos . The fool that kept me hooked who told me he was "emotionally unavailable" for 2 yrs, didnt want anyone, just wants what we have...its nice and easy and we both enjoy it ...theres no other women ... ..bla bla bla, has been seeing another woman, whos married, ....for the last 3 mnths WHILE STILL seeing me. I found out by accident....so im going thru hell the last 5 days. But youre helping 🙏
What hopefully can help you is to keep in mind that he'll never change, dynamic of your relationship will never change so what's the point? Wishing you speedy recovery 🙏
🔥😘❤
Ma’am You Have No Self Dignity If You Stay With This Pathetic Loser…
smh why so many stupid women?
Ok Coach Ken, first I want to say it’s great to see you back! So glad you are better. Secondly, this video was fantastic! Especially the part that if this doesn’t work, maybe I was I love with a narcissist lol. Still got jokes.
It’s true, NO Contact works! The first time we broke up, HE reached out 5 mos later and I ran back……we broke up a 2nd time bc I didn’t work on me. His last words were, “ Let’s NEVER contact each other again….. A year after the 2nd break up, he emailed and called relentlessly until I responded. I went thru therapy during that time apart and didn’t miss him as much. We slowly got back together, but 2 years later and moving together, we broke up again a few mos ago. He said he didn’t like who he was becoming and didn’t want to go to couples therapy which I felt would help. I moved out 5 days after while he was at work and have remained no contact for 8 mos so far. This time I want to do deeper work on me bc he made me feel like I was the problem. I also want to be better prepared “in case” he comes back. I do not expect it. Never expected it the other 2 times either, but bc I didn’t fully work on me, it kept failing. No Contact works especially if you take the time to work on yourself. This way, you can be prepared for anything that can happen. I never thought he would come back because he never looks back once he breaks up. So be prepared because if he came back after breaking up 2x, then anything is possible when there is no contact.
We are on same page
Very true - it can work multiple times even if they know what you're doing and why. Especially like that you mentioned working on yourself because otherwise it's usually a temporary win if you don't.
One of the best videos ever! Truly great work
How do you fix the “numb state”?
Are you married...? you have such wonderful values.....there are not many men like you......that can feel so deeply.
he literally mentions his wife twice in the vid
Thank you - took a while to find the love of my life but she's amazing and patient
@@CoachKen🌲🍊You deserve a great lady Coach. You relationship gurus are deeply needed!
She left to Columbia, FaceTimed me to say she wasn't coming back and broke up with me. Called me after 15 days, it was short and I kept it light and fun. I haven't heard nothing since, back to no contact. What now cause this sucks.
😢this is sad.. its abandonment 😩
Dump her back! Not good sign
I wasn’t going to watch this video as I thought it may not be applicable but so glad I did. Thanks coach Ken
Thank you Emily
I caused the break up because I said I deserved more than his behaviour
Coach Ken your content is the absolute gold standard, your ability to articulate the intricacies of relationships/breakups and express understanding and solidarity for the emotions of people suffering is second to none. Your channel has quickly become a valuable resource for me after experiencing my first break up that's left me very confused as my ex dumped me but on good terms, she requested we do NC which I have been doing but I'm about to break to apologise as I put her in the numb stage. But, we agreed to meet up in Summer this year to reconnect in some way, I'm not sure if that works for me or against me as I don't know if she's using this time to fully detach from me, I am trying to hold onto hope as both of us expressed our love for one another repeatedly even as she broke up with me.
Thank you so much Lou - the time apart will instinctively create a greater fear of loss, but its usually the best way to recreate attraction and build a sense of significant loss, despite the anxiety it might generate in the person doing it.
Being called out and kept accountable right now 😢
My will to try broke, so I went NC. Blocked everywhere because after how they acted, he would need to fight to get into my life. The love, trust and even respect has all gone
Who broke up tho?
Love your wise advice
Best videos on the subject by far.
Very insightful, thank you!
Thank you Bernadette! Much appreciated
I find this super difficult because every bone in my body tells me she is talking to someone else , but here you bring up the point that sometimes they are so overwhelmed that they fall back. Idk what and where she is anymore she swears up and down she loves me and wants me but never texts calls or even messages , only every other week reaches out makes a sly comment if I don't reply right away then disappears again . I don't know what to do and it really hurts
Ken, you are fantastic. i am very impressed, and I receive a lot from your videos. Thank you
Thank you Jason!
Great advice Coach Ken. I really like your ability to deliver messages in a compassionate & logical way.
I am currently 2 weeks no contact from a 7 month long distance relationship. We met in the same city & she already had plans to move 2 months in. So 2 months in the same city & then long distance for 5 months. When we were together, we spent a lot of our time together & it was easy to connect thru mind/body/soul.
I believe that I triggered one of her deepest fears, I ended up in the hospital after an incident. When she broke up with me, I strung the words out of her mouth & acted indifferent. After 3 days, I asked her for a call so I could share my thoughts with her. During that call, she expressed that she was "lost in sadness" & felt disorganized in her thoughts/feelings. She got back to me a few days later & said it was not right for her at this time. She said she loved me, cared for me, & grateful for our time together. I simply said, I understand, I wish it was a different call, I respect your decision. Since that call, I have muted her notifications across social media. She still follows me on all platforms. I have not reached out at all & been spending time focusing the love I have to give on myself (gym, work, friends, family).
The hurt still comes in waves. She has my bike with her in the other city, I have no urgency to get it back, but we will have to have some sort of correspondence in the future. Do I hope I get her back? Sure. Primarily, I hope to get myself back, I have a blessed life & a promising future.
Thanks for all your wisdom.
Be patient with yourself while you're going through it. The anxiety and fear comes in inconsistent waves after it starts to fade - and when it comes back it can rattle you deeply if you don't know it's a normal thing. Hope all goes well at the bike exchange - go with 1. warm 2. relaxed and 3. brief when you see her
Im going back to no contact, the reason he broke up with me was my fault, I have 100% changed the reason, and took accountability, we were talkig again after a week of NC (I reached out) for about a week, he told me he misses me, wanted to see me, thinks about me and sometimes thinks about being back with me, then just stoped responding after he said he sometimes thinks about being with me. This morning, I apologized for not seeing that I was hurting him sooner and that I needed to be hurt to see it. I told him that I would not be reaching out anymore as of today (no response from him though.) It hurts soooo unbelievably badly. I miss him so much. I already regret saying I wasn't going to try to talk to him anymore.
I love your advice❤
Great perspective.
I love your comments ❤- Thanks Sylvia!
I am a little bit in despare... as a mum I am right now not able to get this independent perfect person :(
I try but this will cause a move away as I cannot get independetn in such a little town. However, when I move away, which wont be so soon as there is a school duty here, so I am limited to my freedom, I will not be reachable. So get together isnt possible: as long as I am here, I only can try to work on my mental health which is not a visible thing, but when it will be visible I will be far away ....
what is about mums? what can they do? right now I am very limited...
Perfect words of wisdom, at a perfect time. Thanks so much!
Brilliant Ken
Got you all the way
Cheers Matt 👍
Wife left me for a bigger stronger wealthy guy.
And because i was...relaxed...god forbid i got relaxed...i got left
never relax around women
@@user-ju6zx3rm8d😂😂💯💯
i had to learn not to relax the hard way 🤦🏽♀️😭
This is gold!
7 and a half months in NC now
Lost my partner due to going through a few months of depression that spiralled, was complicated though as the depression got bad because we were fighting all time and the burnout from trying to keep a long distance relationship going, i withdrew trying to desperately make myself better and trying to have all answers to our relationship was too much to deal with.wont contact her but a part of me hopes shes reach out one day.dont know if this classes as me being at fault but i was trying to put my mental health first.and the arguing was making me ill.
Best video so far
i'm afraid i caused the breakup. i caused conflict, made him move out, and then i traveled and stopped initiating contact. this was after i begged for attention for months. instead of missing me and appreciating me after giving him space, he broke up. however, there were issues from the beginning. i always was more attracted to him and invested in him. i gave more than him. i burned out. when i stopped being a doormat and my anxiety took over, he was done.
Hard to gage from those details. First part sounded like you caused it - last part sounded like he was the one at fault. But if you owned and apologized for your mistakes don't allow them to excuse his lack of consideration or bad behavior. Would love to discuss the details if needed, just let me know if you book something realcoachken.com
Why you are willing your ex back? Yes you loved him/her. But you are not for nothing divorced. Why you are willing him/her back? You don't love yourself, cann't be alone and that's why you will not seeing the bads in the relation. Sometimes they have make you addicted to your them by all the playings.. Trauma bonding. Work on yourself and go further with your life. That's not love, That's addiction to a bad people for you.
Thanks!
You're legend brother❤
Thank you brother! Much appreciated big man!
@@CoachKen Coach Ken how to deal with her toxic friends and people who keep polluting her mind during no contact?.
@@CoachKen Hey brother if i can ask you to share your wisdom on small matter....bumped into my ex today after 3 weeks begging and 3.5 weeks now no contact, she hugged me, kissed me on a cheek and ask how i am...only answered to her amazing...dom't feel like share to much....now to understand better last time we hugged we were together....my thinking she's trying to feel where i am, probably thinking gonna text her to boost her ego knowing i'm still around, which in no fckin way ever gonna do that to myself again, also she was overly happy you can feel from a plane she's fakeing that sh....thats about it, what's your opinion if you can share, if not brother i understand.....much love💙
7:28 she tried to tell me she needed a next step. And I also cheated. I felt horrible about it.
7:00, coach ken please reply, what if I did, I did own up to it, I did tell them how sorry I was, I told them I wasn’t the man I could’ve been, and I told them I realize now, I’m a different person now, I told them how much I love them, and how far I’m willing to go, and they’re still in the numb state, and that they love me but aren’t IN love with me and they tell me they can’t right now, and they don’t see us working in the future. What do I do. I can’t handle this. 3 years. I love her so much. I messed up.
I don't know all the details but give it time - when they are in the numb state sometimes it takes longer to process and pull out of that stage. Knowing you see the mistakes and feel the loss can also be something that temporarily boosts their sense of newfound strength. Deep breath - give it some time
@@CoachKen I’ll take your advice, there are so many details that go into it I wish I could tell you all of them, but what do you mean ‘knowing you see the mistakes and feel the loss, can be something that temporarily boosts their strength’ wasn’t that I was supposed to do? Own up? Take responsibility?.
I feel like I will never get over him! 😢
So i caused the breakup and she is in a numb state. How do i fix it? I told her I’d change and wanted to fix things but she said she needed space and didn’t believe me. She has blocked me and moved back home to be close to her family.
Almost the same thing...I changed and she don't believe me...
@@foreigneverything2642 we need a video on the numb state and how to go about it
Same thing here too. Except she didnt tell me anything just straight up ghosted me and picked up her things next day. I quit drinking and started going to church (i was a toxic drunk). But i cant even show her i changed if she moved away and blocked me lol.
How's everything now?
I’m 35 my ex is 48, I did call her and text her a lot after the break up, she said she cared about me but won’t talk to me awhile, she left me for a guy I believe closer to her age with more money.
We had a great relationship for over a year, im devastated and I guess no contact won’t help me
It will! Be your best version mate she'll comeback. They all comeback.
@@s.rifatabbasbukhari5016I wish it was always the case. Upto now nothing… 10 years
Tried to book a consult, but you're two weeks out... 😭
What if you both did wrong, but he won't own up to his mistakes and only blames me?
We constantly fought about his lack of boundaries with other women and his constant need to be his baby mama and her familes superhero...
I read his journal, which I promised I never would, but his behaviors were throwing off and giving me anxiety. In his journal, he confesedbto cheating. And many other things before my time that I was having a hard time letting go. Maybe if I had approached things differently, we would have had a better outcome 😢
If you book something let me know at coachken@dotheyloveme.com and I'll find a spot for you next week - so sorry to hear you're going through that
i already triggered no contact when i was the one to cause it cause i was hurt that she went the day before to discuss breaking up with me
Was in no contact and she finally texted me. But she only texted me out of anger because I accepted an old girl I use to talk to on fb. Did that ruin my chances to get her back?
Great content Coach! Please I need some advice, 2.5 years together, 1) I neglected her needs towards the end of the relationship. 2) She used a confrontation that we had to break up. I agreed at first. 3) I told her I wanted to try things again, she didn’t want to. I over-persuaded her by showing up to her house and she just asked me to stop. Should I be using no contact?
Yes, do No contact. Let them reach out to you first.
I was in NC for 18 months, saw her around town 5-6x in that time span, and I did not reach out to her.
Yes. Stop reaching out and go complete radio silence via NC, no calls, texts or social media. Otherwise you'll blow it.
I've been NC for 3 months after 8 years together.
How's it now?
Excellent. Thank you. 15 months now. Am not expecting much. She was unfaithful - pretty much a hoe and I had no idea. But I still love her. But I will not be contacting her .. ever !
Ugh no good man 🧍♂️ deserves a Ho
Uh oh, now i don't know if i should reach out. It was definitely my fault. Do i stay NC, or try to reach out?
Great question! This was a bit confusing.
If your ex dumps you because she lost a family member her mother and u was in a temporary LDR and she breaks up with you because of others like her dad and friends and since then she becomes someone else can these types of break ups be saved? we haven't spoken in 7 weeks we now live in separate countries. At first she was saying i want to be single and be with my friends who was there for her when she was grieving her lost. Can a person change so much that it will make them not want the relationship they had? I was so good to her and she discarded me like i was some piece of trash.
What if she believes it’s all my fault but really isn’t?
Don't accidentally prove her right by acting like it was by continuing to chase
The thing is, after a few days of no contact I realised that I wasn't trying as hard as I thought I was but in the moment it truly felt like I was trying so hard to be better for her but it wasn't enough. Right now we are in no contact, we still go to school together and she just blocked me everywhere.
Part of me knows that we can be so happy together. Part of me knows that it wasn't all my fault but I don't know if this will ever happen for me again
I caused the break up for sure, but she asked for no contact so I’m struggling trying to respect her boundaries. I just want to fight for what I want
It’s been 4 months since we broke up, it was a 4.5 years relationship with so many issues before the break up, a lot of them was my fault. We were still hanging out and acting like we were dating until last week I begged him again and learned that he still didn’t want to get back tgt, more like the more time he thinks the more he is firmed with his decision. I never have the strength to stay in nc for more than a day, but I think this time I have no chance cuz he made it so clear, if I continue with this than I clearly have no self respect.. it’s been 4 days and it hurts so bad it feels like part of me is missing and I can’t do anything but let this pain consume me
Coach Ken, does no contact work for ex’s that have the “completer or defender” mentality? That’s the personality type that you mentioned where the ex is non confrontational and isn’t vocal about issues. PLEASE HELP on what to do to get them back. It’s been a month of no contact 🙏
Same situation
NC seems never works when dealing with some who's jollies are chatting up other women and addictions to porn ...sad. Their loss
You cannot eat same meal every day
Yeah I went no contact got me a ass whooping, hadn't seen or talked to my ex in a year, she showed up at my child's school opened my car door, violently lashed out, beat me in my head and ribs, I WONT hit a woman took the blows in silence, she told me she was going to " blow my GD brains out" after she left my car I dialed 911 she was arrested and I was given a restraining order!! Why this happened I have no idea I was dumped by text on my bday, it had been a good relationship so idk what happened other than no contact got we a ass whooping and now a court case!!! And I had deleted my social media, my friends kept letting me know how she was posting how happy she was, posting the new guy with quotes aimed at me, I ignored so I have no idea what her issue was
If this isn’t proof of the power of No Contact then I don’t know what is
@@cg841not exactly the response I was hoping for, but hey I took a beating and didn't say a word now that's the Championship of no contact!!
@@cg841plus i am pretty sure she hates me now, and now this will probably make her and new guy even closer now
Coach my ex broke up with me after 4 yrs and jumped into a rebound the same week. I begged a little and then went no contact for 3 weeks. She reached out and called me only to say that she felt people were treating me mean and cried then said "someone told me you are still waiting on me"? I said I wasn't and did love her and wanted her back but that I wasn't waiting. We talked for almost 2 hours while still with this guy. This guy is 31 and still lives with his parents !! And I'm better on ALL levels. He has low income job. To contrast I have a 6 figure income and I'm a good person
I have since went back into no contact. Makes no sense.. she has been with him now for 1.5 months. So still in beginning stages. Now also I saw on her Pinterest she is saving stuff for wedding, engagement rings and kids!!! Like WTH! Any thoughts? Will this fail. Her best friend still thinks she will come back once this fails. I should also say there is a 20 yr difference between us. Also she is very stubborn. Says she never goes back.
Hi I'm single lol
leave her this time and focus on your life. Her behaviour looks immature but it's her way to grow up and decide what she really wants. Let her go with him, don't look his income and life's situation, today it's not easy to be financial independent. The most important it's his heart, how he is like a human. But also their relationship will be never like yours. If you are sure that your relationship was really good, lovely, powerful and high value , she will miss them and when she will be ready, she will back, if not then it's better than she is far away and you have time and space to focus on your life. Do you really want to be with someone who is immature ? I am sure no, so let her go and do your life better without her, take a deep breath and go ahead. If she will be ready , she will find ways to you, if she preffers easier life, easier people, easier relationship, it's her choice, don't take it personal. You always choose high value life and do everything what makes you better human, what really makes you happy. If you will go through good way , then nothing will happen than only good things 🌸
@@centrumlexthank you for the kinds words. Means a. Lot
@erickutcher7782...I feel your pain. The one glaring error I see is the fact that she is not higher value, as compared to you, who is obviously of much greater value. I don't mean she is not a valuable woman to love, but I mean she is not anywhere near your maturity-level, and 20 years is huge. Maybe your 4 years together blinded you to her destructive inner "needs"? In my opinion, you should go no contact for foreseeable future, redirect that self-destructive inner energy to work on yourself. I am not making light of this character-improvement issue, LOL. As I worked on myself, my inner depression slowly lifted, after divorce and relocation, years ago. Please respond, Erick, if I can be of further help. Thanks from Darrell. PS: Your input is of help to all who have relationship concerns.
@@darrellborland119 it's tough because she is also high value. Beautiful, educated, great paying job. So she is even above this guy on all levels. If you saw her with this guy and knew he still lived with his parents then you would be shocked! The fact she went out with him the same week we broke up is shocking. She still has feelings for me I know because she told me. But I've been in no contact for a month. Although like I said she reached out 3 weeks in my NC. So I don't count that as NC. So over 4 weeks now. With her reaching out for some bogus reason that wanted to make sure I wasn't "waiting on her"? That was her testing the waters I believe? But went right back into no contact. Haven't heard from her since. But she is a very stubborn girl. Says she never goes back to exes. But after this rebound fails she will either regret and come back or try to stick it out with this guy. Their only connection is that their families are friends so she sort of grew up with him. But this guy is low hanging fruit. Zero motivation. Drug abuse history. Low value, easy romance target. So I'm sure he will hang on for dear life. Dads a doctor so I'm sure mommy and daddy will supply him money for dates and such to make him look better than he really is. This guy can't even survive on his own
What if you’re in the wrong (in a marriage) and you want her back more than ever but she’s already moved out into a (6month lease) and she filed divorce?
I’ve signed up for therapy and go to church now to find god in this horrible time in my life. How do i go about either getting her back or letting go
Coach Ken, can you do more videos when it’s your fault that cause your ex to break up with you not bc he lost attraction nor bc he doesn’t love you. It’s my situation right now.
isn't Low Contact better than No Contact, to get an ex back..
Completely depends on the details of the situation. Usually not the case, but sometimes it can be more effective but harder to get that route right and very challenging if you're dealing with the fresh pain of very painful breakup
When there are too many hurtful unmeant words said, and when the words meant are not said?
The last conversation I had with my ex after she had dumped me was extremely bad and my behaviour was to tell how bad she is and all of her what I thoughts her faults where. I done this because she was completely ignoring whilst a lived there before my moving out date I regret doing this and want to apologise.
Should I after weeks of no contact.
What if you told your ex it’s probably better if you don’t talk? Does that ruin the possible benefits of no contact?
Ykw, been 2 weeks. Im moving on
But what if she blocked me on everything i tried to do everything to work our marriage out but her mother always caused problems and she choose her mother's side over herlife and go futher and say my mother is aginst this and did everything to be with you but i don't see us having future together
I said sorry , for how my trauma affected the relationship. He's wanted to start friends but i couldn't. we are in nc will that work? He says he doesn't see a future blindside me
It can work but its more of an emotional challenge - you have to make sure you aren't chasing or coming across like you're just waiting for the chance to "win them back" - it's difficult but doable
@CoachKen he said he doesn't see me romantically, saidwe don't work, was toxic. Only reason I'm in nc is because I said I couldn't be friends and needed time. He said I understand. 4 weeks and nothing. We fought a lot and were long distance but visited me twice but feel it may be someone else. What should I do if he's on the other side of the world and ok without me.
@@Ap9-q5fupdate?
Ken, why did you love that ex that much? Was it something about her or something about you? I didn't know men can love like that.
She was kind, thoughtful, clearly intelligent, very insightful, determined, shy, one of the hardest workers I’d ever seen, and I’d never known anyone endure so much pain for so long from the the two people she loved the most - namely her parents - and she seemed to have this deep ache to BE GOOD. Not sure how much sense that makes unless you know her.
But if you spent enough time with her - or had enough late night hours long conversations you could clearly see an overwhelming belief that she was profoundly broken. It didn’t seem to matter how hard she fought to prove she could have worth or be loved or be seen as a miracle in some meaningful way - no matter what she did or how hard she tried, something undeniable in her knew she was bad in some unchangeable cursed way.
She seemed oblivious to any of the incredible things about her - and something about that humility, willingness to do what she needed to do, relentless determination to keep trying and hoping to know she was GOOD in some way that might make God proud, her parents gush, and herself feel grateful to be who she was.
I think God puts amazing, sincerely mesmerizing, miracle things inside all of us - and I think if anyone takes the time or cares enough to look for those things they can find them in almost anyone.
I was definitely mesmerized.
She pulled me in until I was desperate for her to see herself how I saw her because I knew if she did she’d have the peace her own mom and dad seemed desperate to keep her from having about herself.
If they kept her convinced she was broken and needed them to find worth it gave them deep control - and they loved control more than they ever loved her, if they ever loved her at all. They broke her over and over and over to keep it.
But eventually, she started despising me for being pathetic enough to tolerate her selfish, disgusting manipulations and almost constant abuse.
I stayed to fight for her because I remember being in love and thinking I was "proving my love" by enduring her abuse.
I was wrong.
She found excitement in cheating on me, felt superior by lying to me, felt more powerful than me by beating me, hating me, manipulating me or anything else she needed in whatever hidden thing she was doing to feel better about herself.
I stayed so long it drained me of everything I just told you I ever felt about her.
I can still remember feeling a very deep, strong, intensely protective love for her - for a long time - but not anymore. I carry a lot of frustration for my former self for accepting the repeated clear signals of abuse which I kept choosing to ignore.
I think of her and I still flood with anger and self contempt for being blind enough to let someone like her in my life to do the poisonous evil things she did to me and the people I love most - my kids.
It doesn’t matter how much pain or hurt or suffering her selfish manipulations cause someone else.
Doesn’t matter if the people it curses and wounds include her own daughter.
It doesn’t matter how much her own daughter needs her Dad in her life.
It doesn’t matter that the truth is something she killed and buried for sympathy, cash, and control. Because CONTROL is what she comes the closest to loving. It gives her a sense of SUPERIORITY and sense of being RIGHT and BRILLIANT - and it doesn’t matter how INFERIOR or EVIL or LOATHSOME she has to be to FEEL all of the things about herself that aren’t true.
It doesn’t even matter that all of it proves she’s become JUST LIKE THE MOM that tormented her for so many years.
Nothing else matters to her - except her. Nothing - not even our daughter.
I could NEVER love someone like her the way I thought I did because ALL of the WORST things about her are, unlike her deep wounds, her choice and hers alone.
She could have told the truth then - she could still tell the truth now. She could give her daughter a loving father back - but she won’t.
She could have the strength to get help for her wounds the right way and do her best to STOP from passing the scars and curse to my daughter - but that would take courage and true love - so she won’t.
She’s never been who I believed she was.
At some point, the beautiful and sweet little girl got so emotionally beaten and bloodied and degraded that all that overwhelming loneliness, feelings of rejection, and lies that led her to believe she was broken and filled her with despair and self-loathing actually turned into a very dark tangible HATRED for anyone who made her feel even slightly rejected.
And she was unbelievably skilled in taking anything like: words, situation, response, paranoid beliefs, internal monologuing, suspicion, rumor, idiot friend suggestions, truth, reasonable explanations, sincere motivations and TRANSFORMING them into undeniable evidence that she was being unfairly seen, hated, judged, rejected, talked about, thrown away, abandoned, unmasked, cheated, taken advantage of, played for a fool, undervalued, overvalued, or disliked.
Once the thought entered her mind that you might not see her as the single greatest flawless beautiful and perfect human being to ever draw breath - then she’d flood with violent dangerous hate directed at whoever caused her to feel that intense rejection.
It was all or nothing with her.
When she was all IN - she was kind and rational, and so much fun to be around or talk to. It was incredible - she was amazing.
When it turned, then NOTHING I could do would have changed anything - She was an angry, spiteful, hateful, cruel, childish, selfish, miserably toxic person who felt some intoxicating thrill anytime she could cause tormenting pain to the person she wanted to know suffered for making her feel anything other than 1000% loved and worshipped.
I don't believe she'd ever give up that secret evil part of herself. It's her protector and her evidence of worth that she’s so much smarter and craftier than everyone else - it’s the PROOF that she has some worth because in her twisted mind it takes brilliance to be able to manipulate and hurt someone as deeply as she does on a routine basis - In other words, being a truly horrible human being is her evidence that she has some VALUE as a person - even though her parents, especially her own disgusting mother refused to ever acknowledge she had any special value at all.
It was tragic and inexcusable to know and understand the pain they caused her when she was a little girl. Even when I think about it now it makes me feel insane with anger to imagine her as the little sweet beautiful little girl who just wanted to know she was good - wanted to know her parents felt love for her the way she felt it for them, and the way other daughters seemed to get it so easily from the other moms and dads.
They are two of the very weakest and very worst people I’ve ever been cursed to know - and they raised her using cruelty and relentless condemnation to maintain unhealthy abusive control of her life through a manipulated twisted self image they created for her and made her own for her entire life.
But that was a long time ago - when she was a helpless little girl.
She’s not helpless anymore. She isn’t nearly as confused anymore. She isn’t unable to change anything or confront the truth or refuse to carry on the curse.
Now she’s part of the curse. She’s the cruel selfish miserably weak and intentionally blind person making every choice based on her own compulsions to control her own helpless beautiful little girl.
She isn’t protecting her own daughter the way someone should have protected her years ago. She’s passing on the agony because it’s what she has to do to not feel terrified or risk being rejected again.
She’s every bit as evil as the darkness that tormented her for so many years.
She’s a coward.
@@CoachKen Thank you so much for taking the time for such an insightful answer... Wow.. I'm sorry you went through all that. 😔
I understand now a bit better the pain you describe often. May the Lord guide you and keep you further. You are an exceptional person.
Amen ❤
Hi Ken. Thank you for your videos. They are helpful. I am having a hard time determining if I was truly at fault for the breakup. She mentioned some things that to most of my friends don't seem breakup Worthy. Things like I kept a cluttered home and wasn't organized. Things I've already solved but haven't shown her because I'm in NC. Most of the things you mentioned about not using NC initially seemed far more impactful than anything I've done. Therefore, I think NC is the way to go. But I'm still a bit confused as to whether or not the things I did were breakup worthy to the extent that I need to show her something by breaking NC.. thoughts? I've begun therapy and my therapist has stated that because the breakup was initiated by her, she believes it would be better for my mental health to allow any future contact to be guided by her. She did reach out twice already. We had exchanged a series of emails about 5 days after the breakup. Then I went and see and she contacted me through social media. Fairly innocuous. And then texted me a few days later asking me to call her. But that was also relatively innocuous with no talk about the breakup. Not sure about next steps.
In my case they said they tried telling me many times but we never had a conversation about any if things they said was a problem. There was no conversation ever. I was supposed to "just know". Its just so confusing. I agree i could have been more attentive but my grandad died and i guess i kinda just pulled away without realizing. But instead if telling me they go and cheat. But i still want to be with them but i wouldnt take them back if they asked, if that makes sense. Just very hurt and betrayed.
You will okay .. god closes a door and opens new one 💕 we we are in pain its no rational but truth is feeling get renewed every time every day ❤️
Stay strong see the good in yourself
Tried to fix everything I caused. With ways I would never imagine. She forgave me for the 3 days I went to see her. A week later she broke up again. I kept trying. All I got was. " you ain't good enough for me. Never was" I think she forgave me just to have the upper hand in the break up. Because I f up the first time and kicked her out. She let me back in so she can be the one breaking up with me. Thankfully after 4 months of crying 24/7 therapy and pills. The whole relationship is blocked out. I literally can't remember shit. Idk how or why it happened. I just remember some pictures with her in it. That's it. I still stalk her tho. She is happier than ever apparently with her new situationship. I still want her back. But it won't happen. Too much pride. Even if she comes. Nothing will be the same.
"you ain't good enough for me. Never was" - Don't tolerate or try to talk someone out of a sentence like this
Hey Ken. It was good meeting with you last week. I'm confused now though. Im my situation I chose to pause our relationship in order to figure out if I could be a step parent. We stayed friends and continued casually "dating" for another year and a half.. After I tried dating one other person who had adult aged kids for three months, that relationship ended and within a couple months I realized I loved my friend. She ended our relationship because she wanted to stay just friends and she knew I wanted more. I effectively caused the breakup because I needed to pause and because I took her for granted when she was willing to do anything to be with me. I started in modified no contact because she's reached out several times, but now its been radio silence for 10 days. Should I be in no contact or not? 🤷♂️
Coach Ken,
My ex-boyfriend knew from the start I wasn't willing to relocate, and he said he was willing and nothing holding him there. (We lived in separate states).
After 7 months of a "perfect" relationship, he says he wants US and is willing to relocate. I'm thrilled! Suddenly, he broke up with me and made sure he did it on a day he knew meant alot of past pain to me! Ive gone no contact 7 months
Neither of us are in contact.
His one ex girlfriend, he tracked her down and showed up at her new residence in another state, and I asked him why he'd do that if she said no to a relationship with him, and he said "if she saw me, I thought she'd be impressed I flew out to see her".
He's a FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT guy. Can you do a video on that attachment style please?
Thank you! ❤
Dear Cynthia,
I’m stunned how stupid you are emotionally to Tolerate a Judas Betrayer?! You’re pretty - you can attract a better man… Ditch this creep, he’s already chosen his ex! How insane
AND you waited more than 7 months After he betrays you! Unbelievable
what if what he asked you was to stop texting - give him space but you didnt really because you feared lsoing themand tried to communicate when they didn't want to ? I apologised and I said i wasn't expecting forgiveness I wanted to apologise for me to start healing. It was a tough year for me (no job for a few months, my dad got cancer, and it was a LDR so distance added to my anxiety ... I became a bit controlling and insecure the more he pulled away :( ) ... do you think he's numb? I think he really loved me , he brought uo kids and rings a lot the first 7 months
Coach, how do you rebuild trust? We have a meeting today. Sooo nervous I’m not sure what to say, I wrote him a letter a month ago.
What do you do when they are in the numb state?
depends on the details but own the wrong with sincerity - but don't keep chasing and pleading
I unfortunately went into no contact because of the emotions. That i hurt them & they hurt me by walking way at my lowest. I had step back & work on myself struggling with the connection to reach out & when did talk it go back into triggering both of us. Now im stepping in myself we connected but she is with someoneelse i think since she walked away. Im hoping to be able show up with no expectation, though i would like us to rekindle. Then there is the fear that it is to late for me. Any advice would be appreciated to better this connection once again.
I wish @coachken would make some different types of videos also, the ex back/no contact ones are great but other content would be very successful
What if you find out that they are a BPD? Hits all 9 traits
Deep breath - whole other level of a challenge, although usually with BPD they are addictive and amazing people so the temptation is powerful despite the odds being against you. Watch these if yu get the chance: ua-cam.com/video/HxQuAaEyyrg/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/QXLd2YpAG_8/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/kxY5JRoXcmM/v-deo.html
I love her. Blocked all communications with her in no contact even though she keeps reaching out negatively and blaming me when she left.
Coach Ken, I have a very confusing situation here. What if I am the one who broke things off due to being in a stressful situation where I didn’t feel like I could be as emotionally available as she deserved, but now that things have calmed down I want to work it out? There was no real loss of attraction or big blow up, and things were passionate. I did no contact for 30 days for her sake, and she reached out with “are you okay?”. I replied warmly and then a few days later asked if she would like to get lunch. She had blocked me? I feel as though I should fight for her since I am the one who left and it is my place to fix things. Thank you for all you do.
well, obviously she is angry, so keep her time...
10 year relationship, just had 2 kids (1/3), recently broke up with me. Found out a couple days later she is attempting to marry a man in prison she knew from high school
We have kids, so unsure NC will work. We still gotta see eachother. the situation is entirely confusing, and all i can blame currently is miscommunication.
None of it makes sense
I'm sorry for your loss man. I feel your pain to a smaller degree, I'm glad to say it's not as bad as your story - yours sounds truly heart wrenching. You will feel better one day, I promise ❤
Ouch. I am so sorry.
How can u go no contact if u work together, own car together and adopted cats together...I'm a mess been 2 yrs ...cannot stop crying
well, you go on low contact which means no talk about privat or intime matters. Only about wokr stuff or cat stuff when needed
Get your own car or take a bus stay away from them talk only when needed
Hey coach, or really anyone who can give me advice on this. I've been in no contact for almost 3 weeks. We had a 2-year relationship, which was great for the most part as we traveled together from NZ to Australia and have been living together 2 years. Were both from different countries on visas so eventually we knew our visas would expire, however the relationship had become complacent and routine and she lost the spark, sabotaged it by cheating with some guy on vacation and then left me. I was angry and kicked her out, now i feel it was a mutual breakup in my heart. But now im leaving to go back the the usa in a few days, and wanted to know if i should reach out with the concept of we had a good run and wish her the best, or stay no contact, leave without telling her and let her feel the regret and weight of her loss when she finds out im gone forever
you should do whatever makes you feel better... you dont ahve to lose anything anyway
Thank you....
Dated the woman of my dreams for a year. Recently she broke up with me due to a couple of differences such as me being hard headed about not wanting much posted on social media. (Just me being hard headed) Towards the end, before the break up I changed and she was my fb profile pic and relationship. It was already too late. Couple other differences but nothing major. I loved every bit of her and treated her and her family great. Been in no contact for a few weeks. Her stuff still at my place. (So I know there will be a contact eventually) I’m struggling with NC is it the right or wrong thing to do? She recently stopped Snapchat me and also stoped sharing location through iPhone. Please guys give me solid advice?! Is my NC right or wrong?? I feel like I’m losing her more and more
If they break up about posts on social media, that’s the most shallow thing I’ve ever heard. You dodged a bullet
I have had a breakup from a 2 month relationship. I know it seems like a short period of time for a breakup to happen but i really love this person and i believe she does too. I made a mistake but it was really unintentioal so she wanted her personal space and time. I'm currently in the no contact phase. What do you think? Does it have the possibility to work
Just work on you be patient and don't look at her social media or stalk her
Curious on how this works on long distance relationship?
Most you people have to stop looking outside for validation look inside self love change your thoughts aswell people can tell if your still the same person
Hey sir. Your booking calendar is not working. You click on the date and it does nothing.
you might need to click to September - let me know if that's what it is and I'll try to get you in sooner on my end - I just had an opening for the 14th come open. coachken@dotheyloveme.com
Well she tried to hide a guy that texted her right in front of me. I said why hide it? She was like cuz you’ll get mad. She’s been caught cheating before and the fact that she tried to hide it I told her pack her stuff and get out calmly. She did and just said “okay” that was it. She left but I still love her and know I need to move on. I called her 2 weeks later and told her I apologize for things I said after and would like to reconcile with you and if you change your mind give me a call. Haven’t heard nothing. We’ve been together 5 years and share a child.
Sometimes I wish I could let you tead the text history on the DM of his just to get your opinion. But i deleted him as a friend amd c6nat access it... and good riddance. He's in that category of "a lot of life issues" right now, but it still takes ten seconds to say "cant talk, love you". Wjy is thay do hard? Work and family issues aside.
I broke my no contact, what now?
Go back into no contact and work on yourself
Long distance?
It can work on long distance - LD relationships are more challenges yes, but also have a few advantages that are underrated.
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