My Mum Lives In Denial of Her Debts | Spendaholics | Only Human

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  • Опубліковано 15 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 763

  • @MrsEJV
    @MrsEJV 2 роки тому +177

    My mom died when I was 8 and my father remarried very quickly to a horrible woman. She would take away my clothes as punishment so I’d have two outfits to wear for weeks. I was a shopper when I got out of that house! Pretty understandable. I learned to use consignment stores to stretch my budget. I’m 75 now, live on social security and have zero debt. I actually detest shopping.

    • @alessandraferrara240
      @alessandraferrara240 Рік тому +10

      I am.sorry you had such a bad time as a child.

    • @mebutnotme.Khan78
      @mebutnotme.Khan78 Рік тому +4

      Thats so sad 😢

    • @pinkpotatoes9849
      @pinkpotatoes9849 11 місяців тому

      Hugs. You have managed well. I was similar in that my parents had money but only bought me clothing that was somewhat fitting from factory outlets, usually not basics, so I actually never had what I needed for everyday wear.

    • @GoddesssofMind
      @GoddesssofMind 11 місяців тому +2

      Sorry you experienced that❤

    • @carsonc6659
      @carsonc6659 9 місяців тому

      I know one that made the step daughter wear the same shoes for years, no matter how big the feet were. Made her leave school to stay home taking care of the babies she had later. It was about 80 years ago.

  • @bygonestales2171
    @bygonestales2171 4 роки тому +930

    some poor tech guy had to spend hours photoshopping 365 outfits onto Lyn, and that's the real tragedy here 😂

    • @absolutelyridiculous6743
      @absolutelyridiculous6743 4 роки тому +51

      It was so poorly done, the guy was definitely not paid enough to care lol!!

    • @stephanblack4558
      @stephanblack4558 4 роки тому +4

      You are funny I love you already.

    • @Refiningforge
      @Refiningforge 4 роки тому +6

      Time stamp? Not sure if I like it enough to watch through

    • @Refiningforge
      @Refiningforge 4 роки тому +9

      7:25 :p

    • @miranda8598
      @miranda8598 4 роки тому +3

      Beatrix Passmore How can She afford to live in a house?

  • @KM-nq7ez
    @KM-nq7ez 4 роки тому +367

    She loves her children very much but she’s not doing them any favors by spoiling them.

    • @TraceUK
      @TraceUK 4 роки тому +24

      KM Well one of them went to University and now is a Pastor! He’s done very, very well for himself!

    • @KM-nq7ez
      @KM-nq7ez 4 роки тому +11

      @@TraceUK ... that’s wonderful... good to hear.

    • @monicanath4859
      @monicanath4859 Рік тому +2

      @@TraceUKo wow! Really? That is amazing.

    • @jennynott3841
      @jennynott3841 Рік тому +1

      Which one is the pastor?

    • @Wyz369
      @Wyz369 4 місяці тому

      ​@@TraceUKNo need for university to become a pastor....that's right back into pov.

  • @ellecee453
    @ellecee453 4 роки тому +88

    What an absolutely masterful character study of Lyn. In the beginning she seemed giddy and quite clueless but at the end of the episode, after all that clutter was stripped away, you could see her vulnerability and the caring person she was capable of being.

  • @sonjawilliams989
    @sonjawilliams989 4 роки тому +93

    Growing up in a CULT where everything was regimented and NO INDIVIDALITY was allowed I understand completely. I cried when she was yelling 'WHAT ABOUT ME'

    • @universaltruth2025
      @universaltruth2025 4 роки тому +16

      She held it together really well.
      Regimentation is not good for creative people.

    • @chrislambert9435
      @chrislambert9435 4 роки тому +3

      Sona, which Cult were you in ?

    • @sonjawilliams989
      @sonjawilliams989 4 роки тому +7

      @@chrislambert9435 JW'S

    • @chrislambert9435
      @chrislambert9435 4 роки тому +18

      @@sonjawilliams989 Thank God youre out

    • @sonjawilliams989
      @sonjawilliams989 4 роки тому +10

      @@chrislambert9435 Thank You. I'm glad I'm out now too. Where you in a cult?

  • @AM09286
    @AM09286 4 роки тому +361

    £32K back then was a good wage. Lots of the people on this show earn 12-15k

    • @CaraMarie13
      @CaraMarie13 4 роки тому +57

      I know the show is old but I cannot understand how back then that was considered a lot of money. In past episode I see people living in their own apartments on 15-20k a year in London and am like, "life was good back then". Inflation is a real killer.

    • @greenpenguin7877
      @greenpenguin7877 4 роки тому +3

      It was like 50 now

    • @WalesGaming86
      @WalesGaming86 4 роки тому +12

      @@greenpenguin7877 I would say adjusted for inflation maybe 40 to 42k.
      You have to think though, this is London so salaries are inflated for location.

    • @greenpenguin7877
      @greenpenguin7877 4 роки тому +12

      @@WalesGaming86 according to the inflation calculator it's 48k today

    • @WalesGaming86
      @WalesGaming86 4 роки тому

      @@greenpenguin7877 That's fair enough.

  • @suzeelewis718
    @suzeelewis718 2 роки тому +18

    People on here with the negative nasty comments have absolutely no idea of how childhood trauma can affect ppl in adulthood. Judging and berating her?? Educate yourselves. I hope Lynn is doing well now. She’s lovely and a wonderful devoted mother

    • @martinasikk6162
      @martinasikk6162 Рік тому +4

      I agree. I look at this 2023, and the comments are very aggressive. She’s lovely, as the boys. She has great potential. I hope they made a better life. 🇸🇪

  • @nanettemorton4054
    @nanettemorton4054 4 роки тому +305

    There are so many low cost, fun things she could do with her kids. I know someone who got a book out of the library, and learned basic sign language along with her kids. They loved it, and, just as importantly, they learned an important skill.

    • @deborahmeek6529
      @deborahmeek6529 4 роки тому +8

      Nanette Morton yeah but she’s gotta do it quick, I used to do all that awesome free stuff with my kids, but once they are teens, no way will they hang out with you unless you spend money.

    • @ksenagorshkova8600
      @ksenagorshkova8600 4 роки тому +32

      I used to have great time with parents while being a teen (without much money). We went for long walks with our dogs or did sports, we watched movies together and discussed everything in the world.
      24 y.o. now and still love hanging out with mom, doing something, cooking or going for a walk in a local park
      In my opinion it’s all about the way of parenting and moral values of adults in family :)

    • @Luna.3.3.3
      @Luna.3.3.3 Рік тому

      Agree, @nanette - especially in a big city like London. If you're really resourceful, I imagine there's lots of activities. Of course being an international city, there's expensive, but many things free or low cost. Same as here, in Toronto, Canada.

    • @HO-bndk
      @HO-bndk Рік тому +2

      Too late. Their minds are already poisoned by video games. No way they'll do something as lame (to them) as going to a library.

    • @daCubanaqt
      @daCubanaqt Рік тому +1

      ⁠@@HO-bndk I think the point is to do stuff with her children instead of taking them shopping.

  • @pinkpotatoes9849
    @pinkpotatoes9849 11 місяців тому +8

    Hugs to Lyn. Boarding schools are detached places and to me, my parents abandoned me while they kept my sister with them.

  • @kek23k
    @kek23k 4 роки тому +189

    Not really fair to include birthday purchases in the cold turkey bit. It's not part of anyone's normal weekly budget.

    • @elzmelz
      @elzmelz 4 роки тому +25

      And when you're budgeting usually birthdays and things are sorted in advance... I know I buy my nephew's gifts WAY in advance

    • @babyyvie
      @babyyvie 3 роки тому +6

      It’s not the kids’ fault😩 this was unfair

    • @Theaterfreak
      @Theaterfreak 3 роки тому +15

      @@elzmelz that’s the point though. She hadn’t done any sort of forward planning, she didn’t live on a budget. Like any of the people on this show, she just spent the money on the day, on the spot. That’s why the twins’ birthday was that week and she still hadn’t bought them any presents (and the presents they were expecting were games consoles, not cheap. I got a console for Christmas when I was 12 and my mother bought it months in advance and budgeted accordingly). Anyone actually keeping track of finances would’ve already had any gifts or celebrations sorted by then, even if that means simply ensuring they have the ingredients for a homemade cake in the kitchen.

  • @PartanBree
    @PartanBree 4 роки тому +111

    I found this one quite moving. I could imagine that little girl feeling abandoned and forgotten, forced into a uniform all day every day, 7 days a week, vowing to herself never to wear a uniform again. I hope she went on to deal with those boarding school demons and do well in life.

    • @MesheherKim
      @MesheherKim 3 роки тому +27

      Erring a uniform is good. There’s no comparison because everyone wears the same thing. I grew up wearing uniforms in school. Wasn’t an issue. Whether your parents were rich, poor, struggling it doesn’t matter when it came to what you wear to school cuz we all in the same uniform lol.

    • @yeetinggoddess2113
      @yeetinggoddess2113 3 роки тому +4

      @@MesheherKim sounds like communism

    • @jaanajaana5771
      @jaanajaana5771 3 роки тому +7

      Uniforms are good. Find creativity in other more sophisticated ways.

    • @grumpyschnauzer
      @grumpyschnauzer 2 роки тому +2

      5 years of paid daycare… her parents should be ashamed!

    • @sarahissersohn5495
      @sarahissersohn5495 Рік тому +4

      @@MesheherKimglad your experience was positive- I had thought the same thing, until my Kiddo went to a school where uniforms were required. It wasn’t at all an equalizer; it just meant I was massively limited in what I could save on her clothes, bc they had to be specific, expensive uniform components. And she still had to have clothes for after-school, so it didn’t save me anything; it became an additional set of expenses. At least now, I can get stuff for her at thrift stores, and on sale. Plus , kids still find ways to distinguish themselves, whether it’s socks, shoelaces, hair bows, expensive backpacks, etc anyway

  • @bigbeatyswollocks4859
    @bigbeatyswollocks4859 4 роки тому +146

    How tf can anyone that's spending £370 a week really only think that they're only spending £50

    • @paulosullivan3472
      @paulosullivan3472 4 роки тому +9

      Yeah sounds like she spent more than £50 a week on wine alone.

    • @laurafulop2486
      @laurafulop2486 3 роки тому +7

      With credit cards you don’t feel like yr spending....

    • @matreen427
      @matreen427 3 роки тому +4

      @@laurafulop2486 and she tears up the bills too

    • @cherylvergin1757
      @cherylvergin1757 2 роки тому +2

      She's 32, and admits she doesn't yet understand interest, so her response to her own ignorance about that is to tear up the credit card bills. Wow!

    • @Wyledgirl30
      @Wyledgirl30 6 місяців тому

      Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt!

  • @BlanceDevereaux
    @BlanceDevereaux 4 роки тому +201

    Her whole look, style, makeup, eyebrows, hair is pure 1970s!

  • @nopamineLevel100
    @nopamineLevel100 4 роки тому +56

    Oh man, so many free activities in big cities! Museums, galleries, libraries, special events!

  • @ceciliajohnson8812
    @ceciliajohnson8812 4 роки тому +65

    I think she's kind and really did her best to change with very little support from other people apart from Benjamin and Jay. Love her! Her children are lovely too.

  • @karenwest116
    @karenwest116 4 роки тому +29

    it’s just great to see this lady made such positive changes and deal with her distress from her boarding school experience. Her boys are probably dead proud of her. 👍 well done lady !

  • @soulstylista
    @soulstylista 2 роки тому +7

    When she was shouting “what about me?!” really got me! Tears here

  • @rachelclare5483
    @rachelclare5483 4 роки тому +96

    Bless her, she’s a really giving person. It’s over compensation for a missing dad which she hoards unnecessary guilt over.
    You can tell how much her little family all care about eachother!

    • @rachelclare5483
      @rachelclare5483 4 роки тому +6

      Plus!! She overspent for her twin’s birthday 🎂 she was thrifty with it - the biggest mistake she made was arguably the wine so hardly that bad!

    • @cynthiabelhumeur619
      @cynthiabelhumeur619 4 роки тому +5

      Sure let us make excuses for her. Sure it will take her a life time to get out of dept. How is she going to send her children to university?? Those kids futures are now in the the balance. Sad

    • @rachelclare5483
      @rachelclare5483 4 роки тому +6

      Cynthia Belhumeur in England, our student loan program works differently. You are only expected to pay back your loan once you’re earning over £25,000. And at that point, it’s only 9% of what you earn, which is taken off your pay check. It’s more a ‘tax’ than a loan x
      But I agree with the sentiment about the money going towards their future than silly materialistic things

    • @rachelclare5483
      @rachelclare5483 4 роки тому +2

      Sue Andrews aahhh just seen your response! It’s easy for people to judge but you don’t know their story x I’m proud you’ve gotten through a hard time - money is important but money comes and goes whereas time is finite x

  • @MaHa-ql3zv
    @MaHa-ql3zv 4 роки тому +139

    She seems to be such a lovely person! I really hope she is doing well now.

    • @chrislambert9435
      @chrislambert9435 4 роки тому +2

      She only needs to be sorted by a Guy

    • @SummeRain783
      @SummeRain783 3 роки тому +5

      I don’t know. She actually annoyed me when she cried because she had duties at the school. I don’t think the school was the problem as much as her relationship with her parents. Something happened at home where she probably felt ignored, unheard and uncared for. The school was just a surrogate to blame for how she related to her parents. Many children go to boarding school and turn out fine. She probably felt her parents sent her there to get rid of her, not to help her.

    • @victhecuber5956
      @victhecuber5956 2 роки тому

      @@chrislambert9435 She don’t need no man.

    • @chrislambert9435
      @chrislambert9435 2 роки тому

      @@victhecuber5956 Thankyou Vic, if She had a man she might only Trash Him

  • @mssunnylunarain7
    @mssunnylunarain7 4 роки тому +131

    Then there are people like me that will throw a piece of clothing in their amazon cart for nearly a month before deciding whether or not I should spend the money on it. My fiance literally had to hover over me until I ordered a pair of pants last week because I needed a new pair. I grew up really dirt poor so every dollar counted in our household. It's hard for me to buy things and not feel guilty. My dad taught me ti question how many hours I worked to afford an item. If working that many hours wasn't worth it, then I don't buy it.

    • @spikeycat81
      @spikeycat81 3 роки тому +12

      Fair play. That's the right way to do it. Cautiously spend.

    • @kathleenkitcher852
      @kathleenkitcher852 3 роки тому +11

      I think that is kind of a smart way to shop actually. I didn’t grow up dirt poor but we certainly had to be careful! Shopping is a therapy of sorts for some people and I shop online when I am feeling anxious or vulnerable......leave it in my cart for quite awhile....go back and have a think, perhaps delete an item or two.....leave it for awhile longer......until I either purchase what I really need or delete the whole bunch!

    • @suelovescats
      @suelovescats 3 роки тому +2

      That’s what I do on Amazon .. my heating pad died ( which I really needed for the back problems and fibromyalgia ) and I took two weeks to finally make purchase . We were poor growing up also .. so I saw mama being careful when shopping and I guess it just with me as I grew up .

    • @shsharrell9267
      @shsharrell9267 3 роки тому +1

      Good idea, sounds like you grew up being conscious about how much things cost.

    • @jocelynsmyth6604
      @jocelynsmyth6604 3 роки тому

      @@kathleenkitcher852 same here, and it's holding in good stead now that our niece is staying with us for a bit. Deciding how much work goes into something is a good way to go

  • @billijomaynard8924
    @billijomaynard8924 4 роки тому +80

    And yet, there are millions of people in the UK, that after they pay their rent and bills, they are blessed if they have 30 quid a week left to spend on food, and nothing else. What her children need is good dose of vitamin NO. If she really wants to do something for her children, clean up the back extra room and turn it into a space for them, either a play room, a study space, a video games and movie room. Lots of ideas for something like that. And it is something they would appreciate far more then all the toys and trinkets.

    • @ursaminor2981
      @ursaminor2981 3 роки тому +5

      Well that's the thing, she's 40000 in debt, she doesn't have 30 pounds left over per week, she just acts as if she does.

    • @rebvanwinkelstein2578
      @rebvanwinkelstein2578 5 місяців тому

      Or rent it out 🤷🏻‍♀️🙂

  • @truebluewonderful
    @truebluewonderful 4 роки тому +32

    £32k a year. Instead of spending too much on clothes and unneccessary things she could've worked one day a week less. Children love it.

  • @lagi-di-mana
    @lagi-di-mana 3 роки тому +156

    Lyn: I've never worn the same thing twice
    Me: wearing the same clothes every week which is the same clothes I bought years ago 😰

    • @user-jy3zl2vp4b
      @user-jy3zl2vp4b 3 роки тому +18

      And me, during Covid, and being the ONLY person actually IN the office...might even wear the same outfit for most of the week!

    • @spikeycat81
      @spikeycat81 3 роки тому +8

      You are already wiser than your years.

    • @TrudyPatootie
      @TrudyPatootie 3 роки тому +4

      Nana... I wear boxers and T shirts every single day... easy peasy...

    • @nora4981
      @nora4981 3 роки тому +3

      Nobody asked 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @tonethetallbaldy5039
      @tonethetallbaldy5039 3 роки тому +3

      My pair of jeans are into their third year and apart from the odd pair of socks and undies I won't need any new clothes for the next few years.

  • @kathleenkitcher852
    @kathleenkitcher852 3 роки тому +6

    Benjamin is so absolutely calm and soft spoken.

  • @Saavycupcake
    @Saavycupcake 4 роки тому +22

    I love the “what about me?!” Exercise. I should try that. Looks therapeutic.

  • @trishahopkins6574
    @trishahopkins6574 3 роки тому +19

    For everyone sniping about this woman this was filmed about 15 years ago so interiors would be VERY different from now as would fashion and everything else. The eye wipe for you lot is that her house is probably now worth about £750K - hope she's still got it? OMG I think it's Victoria Park in Hackney?

    • @carolannemckenzie3849
      @carolannemckenzie3849 3 роки тому +1

      I hope she managed to hang onto it despite her debts and the boys will inherit it eventually.

    • @emmaphilo4049
      @emmaphilo4049 3 роки тому +3

      I hope she still has that house! God our generation is so screwed😭😭😭😭😭

    • @ingridmoxon6301
      @ingridmoxon6301 8 місяців тому

      I was just thinking that. Also 10 to 15 years ago, her salary would’ve been very good indeed.

  • @philipkelly5658
    @philipkelly5658 4 роки тому +25

    She seems like a lovely lady and she loves her kids so I hope that she can sort her life out before it’s too late . Good luck to her

  • @elleshaw9837
    @elleshaw9837 3 роки тому +28

    This looks like the beginning of a Hoarders episode.

    • @gdcompany
      @gdcompany 3 роки тому

      I also thought myself "Huh, thought this was SHOPAHOLICS, did i clicked on Hoarders episode?" Hahaha. XD

  • @HumanimalChannel
    @HumanimalChannel Рік тому +9

    I love Lynn's style, and think Lynn is such a lovely woman.
    Hope she is doing well now

  • @Wotdermatter
    @Wotdermatter 4 роки тому +90

    Being born in London during WWII, and living with the rationing we had, nobody would go out of their way to spend such ridiculous amounts of money on so many clothes and not wear them. First, there was rationing, second, there was little, if any money, for such items, third, we did not have the adverting hype and the convenience of shopping malls with all of the unnecessary, highfaluting, pricey junk that is worn now. I remember my mother spending time repairing my brother's trousers so that I had a pair to wear albeit with patches all over the rear end. Nobody on the street or at school laughed because they experienced the same. In those days, mothers taught their daughters how to sew and make dresses, etc., for themselves. My mother would even knit string vests for us to wear. Warm in the winter, cool in the summer. Did we feel deprived, or have the need for gifts/treats, etc? No way, because we could not afford them and we did not need them and we did not miss what we could not have. We used to invent games and play in the street and our food was basic but nutritious, unlike today's garbage people eat because they do not have "time to cook" but instead buy highly processed, frozen junk full of unknown chemicals. Could go on but is it worth it? Probably not.
    'nuf sed.

    • @ceciliajohnson8812
      @ceciliajohnson8812 4 роки тому +35

      Your situation was totally different. You didn't have the choice to shop. Now you're acting superior when you have no right. So unkind.

    • @mamazofapril09
      @mamazofapril09 4 роки тому +18

      Cecilia Johnson she is speaking from her own experience. How is that acting superior? I agree with her. Back then you had no choice and appreciated what you had and used your brain for cognitive development in life and in imagination. Credit cards, shopping malls, it’s all extra things that make people spoil themselves into a different reality because they are missing something from their lives. personally or physically. What the woman in the video has is an addiction.

    • @ceciliajohnson8812
      @ceciliajohnson8812 4 роки тому +20

      I absolutely agree the lady in Spendaholics was coming across as someone with a spending addiction. Addiction born from feeling left out and abandoned at boarding school, which she hadn't forgiven at the time the show was filmed. The Commenter triggered a sharp response in me because her (or his) situation growing up was completely different to that of the Lady on the programme. The lady in the programme was having quite a number of problems - overspending was the symptom of emotional pain.
      But I had no right to be snappy at Commenter, that was wrong of me. You are quite right to pull me up on that.

    • @olly2027
      @olly2027 4 роки тому +5

      Milk back than cost fifty cents where today it cost four dollars:

    • @janedoe133
      @janedoe133 4 роки тому +4

      Wotdermatter My Grandfather fought in WWII. He passed away in 2005. With COVID-19 happening I really wish he was about so I could talk to him more and thank him for what he went through during the war. I can’t begin to imagine the sacrifices both yourself and my Grandfathers generation made for me and how you and him coped with the ongoing anxiety of losing loved ones or being bombed. How do you feel WWII compares with COVID-19 and lockdown? 💕

  • @Ali01007
    @Ali01007 3 роки тому +29

    “49 year Lynn James is a go getter, when goes to the shops she gets something” 🤣🤣 what an intro.

  • @wendywobbles1
    @wendywobbles1 4 роки тому +134

    Benjamin is so expressionless like he has no facial muscles

    • @ariannesmum
      @ariannesmum 4 роки тому +9

      Looks autistic

    • @cissylabbate7521
      @cissylabbate7521 4 роки тому +11

      He definitely puts off that vampire vibe to me. 😂

    • @polifonick
      @polifonick 3 роки тому +13

      To be honest he behaves a but like a psychopath :D I wouldn't let him to tell me how to live my life.

    • @user-jy3zl2vp4b
      @user-jy3zl2vp4b 3 роки тому +5

      Botox?!? Or perhaps it is part of his training...don't ever come across as surprised?!?

    • @pinkkam
      @pinkkam 3 роки тому +8

      @@ariannesmum do you even know what autism is???

  • @9459viola
    @9459viola 4 роки тому +13

    what a lovely family, she so loves her boys.

  • @lightworlddouglas4601
    @lightworlddouglas4601 3 роки тому +10

    Lightworld
    From Canada
    I watched a Canadian program called “till debt do us part”. On one of the programs they took the people to a soup kitchen & a shelter for a couple of days. It “woke” the people up that they could end up having to use these shelters. One accident, one illness or a chronic illness. We can not rely on their ALWAYS HAVING THE MONEY OR HEALTH to earn a living.

  • @mabra87
    @mabra87 3 роки тому +26

    I think a bday party can still be cheap.
    A sleepover with a bday cake. Or a bday cake and a few friends over to play

    • @peggypeggy4137
      @peggypeggy4137 3 роки тому +3

      When my kids were small, we would have a fairly extravagant birthday parties for less than $100. I would make a cake, buy ice cream, drinks, snacks, make a spagetti dinner with a ceasar salad. Go to the dollar store and get supplies/ grab bags. Hellium baloons were a dollar a piece (good decoration and each kid can take one home).
      This budget would include games like "pin the tail on the donkey", "hot potato", "musical chairs" with prizes for the winners. The parents were invited too. It was 3-4 hours with loads of food. Even a little left over for a few beers for the adults. When the kids were a little older, they would have sleepover parties with fewer kids. Pancake breakfast in the morning.
      My kids have some very happy memories and I think their friends and their parents really enjoyed themselves too. You can have a really good quality part without spending a lot.

    • @rebvanwinkelstein2578
      @rebvanwinkelstein2578 5 місяців тому

      And after the cake she could make a homemade pizza with the kids

  • @emmaphilo4049
    @emmaphilo4049 3 роки тому +8

    Those y2k shows are so nostalgic, can't explain why

  • @Laure__Line
    @Laure__Line 3 роки тому +9

    Brandon is adorable. What a sweet boy !

  • @jenwaddell9632
    @jenwaddell9632 4 роки тому +170

    Ya know, all joking and bullshit aside, we are really all just lil children tryna survive in this world

    • @chichi3716
      @chichi3716 3 роки тому +4

      Basically

    • @hales6547
      @hales6547 3 роки тому +6

      Very true. Kinda had a convo about this recently.

    • @user-jy3zl2vp4b
      @user-jy3zl2vp4b 3 роки тому +16

      Exactly why I am not too upset about not having kids. I am not sure I can say that I have thrived on this planet...so how do we teach our kids to? Especially when the world and the rules are constantly changing.

    • @halloweellahere7602
      @halloweellahere7602 3 роки тому +4

      You're absolutely right

    • @kathrynerling9304
      @kathrynerling9304 3 роки тому +3

      Very true.

  • @brendakrause5639
    @brendakrause5639 4 роки тому +8

    Giving allowances will be the limit they can spend. Learning they can not always get they want. Self control. Lessons that will help in their future decisions with money.

  • @omadjourney
    @omadjourney 4 роки тому +69

    I refuse to get credit cards....I will ONLY spend what I have and I'm okay to do without most things in life if I can't afford them.

    • @Holly-on6ey
      @Holly-on6ey 4 роки тому +7

      Access to my energy Is YOUR privilege. I’m slightly confused in order to have a place to live,a car and even a cell phone you need credit. That can only be built up if you have a credit card. I hate credit cards but I HAD to get one to build up credit for my future. Colour me confused.

    • @s.proulx166
      @s.proulx166 4 роки тому +6

      Holly I agree, you can’t even book a hotel without a credit card

    • @eamsee657
      @eamsee657 4 роки тому +11

      @Access to my energy Is YOUR privilege, That right there my friend is the attitude of success. I do not know where you are from, so I will speak from my personal perspective and experience as an American. While establishing your credit through the demonstration of responsible credit card usage is certainly the route the majority of Americans take, it isn't the only way. However, due to the state of affairs our current economy is in, I do recommend getting one credit card in order to kick off your establishment of credit. Use that card for strictly designated items/stores only, such as your local grocery store. Make sure that you have the funds to complete whatever purchase you are making. Whenever the sale is reflected in your credit card account, pay off the total. If you prefer paper statements via mail vs. electronical statements, then write the check and mail it off the day you receive it in the mail. For myself, I only opened my first credit card about 4 years ago. Prior to that, I used only the debit function of my debit/credit card. I started working at 14 years of age and saved every cent. Any time I received a couple of dollars or so in a birthday or Christmas card, I would add it to my savings. I had a cellphone in my name and paid by check via mail when I was 16 or 17. At 17 years of age, I worked 2 jobs in addition to attending my final year of Highschool. At18 I landed a civil service position. I continued working 3 jobs, living as frugal as possible until I saved up a respectable savings. When I say "frugal" I mean that I had the same flip phone for 9 years until it died and then replaced it with another flip phone; had no cable, no internet, and no house phone (I would buy books from the library for about $0.25 to $1.00 each and amassed a fantastic home library); stitched and mended my clothes rather than tossing them and buying a whole new wardrobe, etc. (though I did wear a uniform at work). I bought a practical vehicle with a large down payment and financed the rest. When I was 19 I did the same with a condo and bought my first home. I did this without any financial help or co-signing from another party. At 22 I did something that I never thought possible. I traveled around Europe for 2.5 weeks. Growing up, saying "one day I am going to visit Spain" was about as feasible as saying that I wanted to be POTUS. Yes, I did treat myself here and there, especially when it came to gear for my outdoor hobbies. However, I was very cognizant of my spending and never bought anything that I did not have the immediate funds for, including my European trips. I can only speak for myself, but as someone who grew up below the poverty line, in a high crime area, in a dilapidated and quite frankly unsafe apt. full of mice and waterbugs, well it made me realize even as a young child that I did not want to live like that for the rest of my life. One doesn't forget the living paycheck to paycheck, the fear of running low on groceries, the electricity getting shut off and so on. When you come from such a background, you can either continue the generational cycle or you can break it. It's not easy. But with hard work, self discipline, and determination, anything is possible. You've got the right attitude.

    • @meganmarie4289
      @meganmarie4289 4 роки тому +8

      S. Proulx that’s very not true. I work in hotels and every single hotel I’ve worked at over many years has allowed debit cards.

    • @omadjourney
      @omadjourney 4 роки тому +2

      @@eamsee657 OMG that is invaluable knowledge, I appreciate it and I'll definitely look into it, I'm trying to save for a deposit for a down payment...I understand a little bit about credit history and all that in the US but speaking on the downfall and debt of most people I know in the UK it's credit card debts that are a downfall of many and thus having them chased by bailiffs and acquiring county court judgement and thus not being able to invest in anything. I personally prefer to not get one and understand the benefits of having one but for me it's just what I prefer, at the moment I'm spending what I can afford and saving...if I can't afford it,I'm not buying it and that's because I have a greater goal,not judging anyone but I just don't want credit card debt...I have enough going on already to think I have this disposable income that down the line will cripple me in the long run. The easiest thing is to get into debt and the hardest is to come out of it, we all have different incomes so it's not easy to just group all our financial management into one box, I personally at the moment can not afford to accumulate debt through credit cards. Thanks for the advice and sharing your thoughts and insight into the situation,it's really invaluable.

  • @nikchristides4895
    @nikchristides4895 Рік тому +4

    Lyn was lovely throughout, when her card was declined, poor thing 🥺

  • @carolg6598
    @carolg6598 3 роки тому +17

    Trying to offer reading books to a kid in a toy shop is like trying to offer them books about broccoli in a candy shop.

  • @natalieknight1418
    @natalieknight1418 2 роки тому +5

    Why are parents so afraid to tell their kids NO and sticking to it? If I say no and my kids keep begging it's going to be a no every time and grounding if I say it more than 3 times. No means no....simple

  • @nora4981
    @nora4981 3 роки тому +12

    Brandon seems so smart, lol. I hope all 3 are well now.

  • @MonicaTanAnLeng
    @MonicaTanAnLeng Рік тому +9

    Wishing Lyn and her boys the best… ❤

  • @createwithkas
    @createwithkas Рік тому +3

    “At least we know she’s a size 10” took me out! I love Benjamin’s underhanded humor/ therapy 😂

  • @hollyyoung3450
    @hollyyoung3450 9 місяців тому +1

    This one broke me. I sobbed for Lyn

  • @MsJamilaaa
    @MsJamilaaa 2 роки тому +5

    I am mesmerized in every episoade bh the approach of the Psychologist! He is just brrrilliant!

    • @georginaadams4826
      @georginaadams4826 8 місяців тому

      Omg I think he is all filler and nothing killer! What a moron 😮

  • @elizabethshaw734
    @elizabethshaw734 4 роки тому +62

    In five years when those boys want their Air Jordans or some other such expensive trainer she won't be able to afford that then either. The boys need to get used to hearing no. They can be well clothes and shoes for less money then today's society says.

    • @alison2984
      @alison2984 4 роки тому +5

      Defo what they say u spend a in a year to take care of a newborn.. is total bs just get what the kid needs and there happy not all the extras and luxuries there under one there not going to remember if there clothes where asda or Ralph Lauren 🙄

    • @suelovescats
      @suelovescats 3 роки тому +4

      @@alison2984 .. I never knew my family was poor growing up really . Most of my friends were just like me .. but we were happy and I had a wonderful childhood and have lots of very happy memories . That’s what really counts ..

  • @rebajohnson8035
    @rebajohnson8035 4 роки тому +26

    If she keeps refusing to say no her little angels are going to turn into her little demon seeds

  • @bellareid3488
    @bellareid3488 Рік тому +9

    She actually seems like an alcoholic hoarder. This seems more serious than other episodes. Hope she is doing better.

  • @CaraMarie13
    @CaraMarie13 4 роки тому +87

    Now we know who a third of the clothes in landfills in developing countries belongs to.

  • @dinab6303
    @dinab6303 10 місяців тому +2

    she look fantastic for 49 years old!!

  • @oscarzepeda1558
    @oscarzepeda1558 4 роки тому +16

    I'm glad that she pays and takes her boys to drama class, that's very good.... Yeah, I think she's like most of us, not having been taught a thing about personal finance and being succumbed from all of the constant and persistent media and marketing to buy more and more stuff.

  • @tracywheeler1227
    @tracywheeler1227 3 роки тому +4

    Lynn is such a sweet, warm soul & an excellent mother. She's going to do well.

  • @sallyclay1974
    @sallyclay1974 11 місяців тому +2

    That's like being a gambler, a hoarder, an alcoholic, a drug addict. U can't stop

  • @Tina06019
    @Tina06019 4 роки тому +6

    Why do parents send their young children to boarding school? I will never understand this. I spent many years in uniform -- as an adult. Little kids shouldn’t need to be so regimented; school uniforms are fine, but weekends need to be more casual.

  • @ultraboombean
    @ultraboombean 4 роки тому +61

    Two Nintendos? Dang we get one period the end.

    • @zaheerahshareef7608
      @zaheerahshareef7608 4 роки тому +8

      Yep and have to share it

    • @user-jy3zl2vp4b
      @user-jy3zl2vp4b 3 роки тому +2

      Right, and with all four siblings and parents always got to play the moment requested. Ugh!

  • @missinchoate
    @missinchoate Рік тому +1

    This doesn’t matter but hearing the early-mid 2000s music in this show feels so good to hear

  • @DennisNowland
    @DennisNowland Рік тому +5

    She's a social worker sorting out all the peoples problems. God help us.

  • @tinachristine4573
    @tinachristine4573 4 роки тому +38

    The clutter alone 🤔

    • @eatyourcevapi
      @eatyourcevapi 4 роки тому +1

      Tina Christine the clutter makes me crazy. I love shopping as much as the next person but the idea of “stuff” just pilling around in my home drives me away from shopping.

    • @spikeycat81
      @spikeycat81 3 роки тому +1

      I know. I decluttered my life a few times and now I avoid spending. I have re jigged my brain to save and not want anything.

  • @elizabethshaw734
    @elizabethshaw734 4 роки тому +7

    I like luxury everyday as well but I am on a beer budget and I know when to say yes and when to say no! You see, I'm a grown up. I have responsibilities and young grandchildren and the young daughter. I don't need to be spending all of my money on me in fact I just bought a bunch of things for my daughter and her baby coming in July. But I knew when enough was enough for this month! You cannot live above your means and not get into serious trouble!

  • @elzmelz
    @elzmelz 4 роки тому +26

    She spends more in wine a month than I do on my gas and electric 😭

  • @jocefjose6004
    @jocefjose6004 4 роки тому +53

    Why can't having kids be a wake up call to change? You have to think of their needs and future first before yours. Too selfish.

    • @TraceUK
      @TraceUK 4 роки тому +2

      Jocef Jose Well one of them went to University and now is a Pastor! He’s done very, very well for himself!

    • @pastaaaaaaaaoo3796
      @pastaaaaaaaaoo3796 4 роки тому +7

      She doesn't strike me as a selfish person. It's hard to get help on your own, and I think she spoiled her sons because she was trying not to be selfish due to her neglected time at school. Addictions are selfish in nature but people who have them deserve (as she rightly got) help not to be mocked and called selfish for having one. I can understand families being frustrated but as strangers in the internet we don't have a right judge her.

  • @Chillmax
    @Chillmax Рік тому +2

    This woman's about 68 now (2023), hope she turned her life around before now!

  • @suelovescats
    @suelovescats 3 роки тому +6

    I have one closet , a wardrobe , and one clothing rack and I thought I had a lot of clothes . But a lot of mine ( my favorite things really ) came from thrift stores for a few dollars .It’s just beyond me how she thinks she needs all that many outfits. If I made that much money I sure wouldn’t buy that many outfits. It I was taught to be really thrifty by my parents .

  • @metalvideos1961
    @metalvideos1961 4 роки тому +43

    so how come she is not kicked out of her house yet? this would never EVER be possible in the netherlands like at all.

    • @AM09286
      @AM09286 4 роки тому +5

      Metal Videos think she’s still paying her mortgage?

    • @absolutelyridiculous6743
      @absolutelyridiculous6743 4 роки тому +2

      How would it not be possible? It is all behind closed doors

    • @truebluewonderful
      @truebluewonderful 4 роки тому +5

      @@absolutelyridiculous6743 Because in the Netherlands you won't get £45.000 as a loan with her £32.000 yearly income. Not a chance. And common citizens don't use creditcards here.

    • @greenpenguin7877
      @greenpenguin7877 4 роки тому +8

      @@truebluewonderful oh but it's ok to legalise prostitution and cannabis? I hardly think you can use your nationality to display some sort of moral high ground here! !

    • @truebluewonderful
      @truebluewonderful 4 роки тому +9

      @@greenpenguin7877 Do you think illegal prostitution and cannabis is better😂

  • @kieransmith4353
    @kieransmith4353 4 роки тому +24

    do a jar and ask the boys to put in there ideas that cost nothing and do it every week

  • @differenttakethanmost
    @differenttakethanmost 2 роки тому +9

    So so so so many people are/were (pre-Covid) in a similar position: in jobs they hate - so they self sooth with shopping (drugs, alcohol, ANY thing that will numb them from the horror of spending their life making sure other people get rich).
    Covid brought a few unexpected “gifts”- not the least of which was the reconsideration of living our entire lives for “work”.

  • @elizabethshaw734
    @elizabethshaw734 4 роки тому +6

    Yes children need their birthdays and if there was going to be no party I can't see what time it is to take them to a movie. She went over her budget 25 for my children's birthdays that would not be much of a budget-buster. It would be a necessity for 10 year olds. My mother always gave me wonderful wonderful birthday parties but she didn't spend a whole lot of money. Every one of them made me happy!

  • @susanaduarteraposo
    @susanaduarteraposo 3 роки тому +11

    She is so beautiful and looks so young for a 49 year old woman! :-)

    • @pugzlipigeon5906
      @pugzlipigeon5906 3 роки тому +4

      I was thinking she looked old

    • @Ali01007
      @Ali01007 3 роки тому +3

      She looks in her early 60s. In future don’t lie to people to make them feel good.

  • @luisfreitas6502
    @luisfreitas6502 Рік тому +2

    She overspends yet no one was kind enough for her to fix that fringe, poor lady!

  • @deborahmeek6529
    @deborahmeek6529 4 роки тому +26

    That’s awesome that Benjamin went to the toy store with her, she definitely needs help parenting

    • @carolirvine3367
      @carolirvine3367 4 роки тому +6

      Yep, lots of adults don't know the difference between indulgence and love (which is a tough skill and involves saying no and building character)

  • @metalvideos1961
    @metalvideos1961 4 роки тому +13

    that pedestrian at 46:20 must have thought. what kind of crazy lady is shouting on the street "what about me?" lol

  • @ashleybellofsydney
    @ashleybellofsydney 4 роки тому +5

    If you close your eyes, the psychologist lady sounds exactly like Jo Brand.

  • @karynm3365
    @karynm3365 3 роки тому +30

    I'm always amazed how irresponsible these people are regarding paying back their debt. They would be horrified if their employer didn't pay them on time and the full amount but they seem to have no problem not paying what they owe!!

    • @miaomiaou_
      @miaomiaou_ 9 місяців тому

      The bank is hardly in need. And they love it when you miss your payments and rack up a huge credit card bill actually.

  • @elizabethshaw734
    @elizabethshaw734 4 роки тому +10

    In London it's pretty difficult to run out of free things to do. :-)

  • @JanineRupp697
    @JanineRupp697 4 роки тому +6

    This is the norm in many countries such as Korea where everything is bought from predatory lending. The fact that she is a social worker and is putting herself before her children's future is scary.

  • @martinasikk6162
    @martinasikk6162 Рік тому +1

    Lyn is such a lovely woman, I really hope she can enjoy a new sense of control in her life. And her loving boys. I hope she has supportive friends. The boarding school system in Britain is cruel. 🇸🇪

  • @TheKopels
    @TheKopels 4 роки тому +45

    Oh the eyebrows.... it was a different time

    • @mamazofapril09
      @mamazofapril09 4 роки тому +4

      Miriam Coleman looks 70s

    • @ashleys5754
      @ashleys5754 4 роки тому +11

      and the eye shadow!!

    • @kerrinosborne747
      @kerrinosborne747 3 роки тому +3

      And the bangs

    • @rosejacobs8529
      @rosejacobs8529 3 роки тому +1

      In 20 years you'll all be cutting up all those selfies when you all realise what those big hairy bushes above your eyes really look like, they'll be talked about like the mullet in the 80s. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Green.heron24
    @Green.heron24 Місяць тому +1

    I worked as a counselor before. I think his approach of taking her back to the old school and up the stairs was mean and unnecessary. It was traumatic for her to be away from her family as a child, and he did not help her.

  • @kckazcoll1
    @kckazcoll1 4 роки тому +15

    set in 2005, going by the movies screening at the cinema

  • @KRISTINA-mm1uf
    @KRISTINA-mm1uf 2 роки тому +18

    I love Lyn lol
    Also that psychotherapist definitely has human skin for curtains.

  • @celestialcircledance
    @celestialcircledance 4 роки тому +14

    I love her personality . Don't get why you would want to have kids if your going to put them in a boarding school unless its a troubled teen . Not only do you not get to spend much time with them but its got to be a huge expense ....

    • @celestialcircledance
      @celestialcircledance 4 роки тому

      @@Melinamiu007 How sad . Good thing I figured it out before it was too late ...

    • @nora4981
      @nora4981 3 роки тому +1

      Boarding school was mostly for rich parents that were always busy and always on the move, so they shipped their kids to a school where they will be taken care of.

    • @celestialcircledance
      @celestialcircledance 3 роки тому +1

      @@nora4981 Well sure but why have kids if your always busy and on the move ?

    • @CraftyWitch1990
      @CraftyWitch1990 11 місяців тому

      A lot of people had bad experiences with boarding schools but I can't think of a single thing that was bad about my time in one, i loved it! I was a scholarship boarder so i expected the rich kids to kinda separate me from them because i couldn't "afford" to be there without the scholarship (i could but they didn't know that) but they just accepted me and we all got along great! I went there from age 11 to 17 and I'm still friends with the majority of the people i was friends with then. Without a doubt the best years of my life. I feel really sorry for those who didn't get the chance to enjoy it for whatever reason (i don't mean those who went to public school, i mean those who went to private school and had a bad time of it)

  • @eniam2675
    @eniam2675 3 роки тому +11

    Back in the day.... When you'd buy things in a shop

  • @GracieJaney
    @GracieJaney 2 роки тому +3

    I found it so sad she got one twin an expensive gift.

  • @Sinsteel
    @Sinsteel Рік тому +3

    Where's the father in all this?

  • @ChickpeatheTortie
    @ChickpeatheTortie 3 роки тому +2

    Mind you she is extremely property rich. These kind of houses in the East End sell in excess of £1.5mil. In her situation £3.500 on clothes is not that bad. £45,000 debt is not a great deal in London when one owns a large victorian town house worth well in excess of £1m

  • @cocodakilla
    @cocodakilla 4 роки тому +24

    She shouldn't make the mistake of paying for their university. These kids mostly ditch parents. Save up for your care and security in old age. The best you can do for them is teach them to save asap and stay away from debt.

    • @ashleys5754
      @ashleys5754 4 роки тому +10

      While I agree with you on some level, you should help your children go to college... my mom gave me $$ every month but could not afford the full tuition. A small bit adds up and because of her I ended up with $20,000 less debt than I would have if she didn't help.
      BUT you can take loans out for college, you cannot take loans out for retirement. So you do have to be smart about it. My mom didn't give what she couldn't afford.

    • @cocodakilla
      @cocodakilla 4 роки тому +2

      A little bit is ok I guess but I still stand by what I say. Tbh I think people should protest for lower fees or free education

    • @derinaries
      @derinaries 4 роки тому +1

      I was thinking something similar. Thw boys will get older, seek their father, and ditch their mother.

    • @vanderbam2741
      @vanderbam2741 3 роки тому +6

      I think it's weird to base what you do for your children on whether or not they're going to 'ditch' you eventually. I mean, we want them to become fully independent.

    • @emmaphilo4049
      @emmaphilo4049 3 роки тому +1

      Well that's not the US... It's the UK. I feel your thinking has more to do the US situation. However I think one should always save for their old age, regardless of where they live

  • @lindasteel4502
    @lindasteel4502 4 роки тому +26

    I worked with social workers and I now understand why social services is such a mess and why very little gets done. I only ever met one social worker who was down to earth, lots of common sense and got things done. I earned a lot less money than this woman and was a single parent with two children. My kids never expected expensive presents and very often we would go to get clothes they needed and they would pull me down to the cheaper rails. We went on days out and had great fun because spending time together meant much more to them than expensive presents. Now they're grown up, neither in debt and rarely even use credit cards.

  • @-LouLaBelle-
    @-LouLaBelle- Рік тому +6

    I’m schizophrenic and I’ve never hidden bags from myself that’s not how it works babe 😂

    • @martinasikk6162
      @martinasikk6162 Рік тому

      I hope you have been better with your mental illness. Don’t let your illness define you as a person. You have a sense of humour, most people with schizophrenia don’t have. 🌹🇸🇪

  • @metalvideos1961
    @metalvideos1961 4 роки тому +8

    btw 100 pounds is not that much for a mother and 3 kids a week though. so 50 pounds is pretty steep if you ask me

    • @allon4036
      @allon4036 4 роки тому +2

      Apparently this is about 14 years ago and the GBP has suffered from inflation quite a lot, so you would have to recalculate from 2006 to today in order to compare.

    • @metalvideos1961
      @metalvideos1961 4 роки тому +1

      @@allon4036 well not sure how it works in england. but she also lives in one of the most expensive cities in england. so she probably needs even more money now

  • @terriegym
    @terriegym 4 роки тому +19

    Love how the friends says she would drink morning, noon and night! She drags her kids round her clothes shops. Not great for a social worker!

    • @combatduckie
      @combatduckie 3 роки тому +5

      hahaha, true, she needs a social worker for herself first....

    • @HO-bndk
      @HO-bndk Рік тому +1

      I wonder if she'll laugh off her inevitable alcohol induced liver failure too.

  • @BlackNight603
    @BlackNight603 4 роки тому +13

    the pink handbag is scandalous 😂

  • @livmarriott148
    @livmarriott148 4 роки тому +8

    Thinking you spend only £40-50 when you actually spend over £350!! completely understand some people need overdrafts and have debt because of important things but 40 odd grand of debt because you can’t control your shopping habit is just so so irresponsible especially when you have 2 children

  • @charmainkilloran9476
    @charmainkilloran9476 4 роки тому +7

    Kids need boundaries life is hard you can't have treats every day...she is feeling guilty and trying to over compensate...which is not a good example for the kids. They will grow up copying mum and end up drowning in debt. She will lose her house if she isn't careful. She needs to grow up and be responsible. She has made a rod for her own back those kids expect her to cave in now and spend spend spend. You reap what you sow. You can't buy love.

    • @TraceUK
      @TraceUK 4 роки тому

      charmain killoran Well one of them went to University and now is a Pastor! He’s done very, very well for himself!

    • @AymeeDonovan
      @AymeeDonovan 3 роки тому

      @@TraceUK How do you know that ? I found her on Facebook neither of her children look like they would be pastors

  • @sonjam314
    @sonjam314 4 роки тому +7

    The pricy bottle of wine rang up at $10 or 10 pounds. Either way that is not a pricey bottle of wine lol.

    • @trishahopkins6574
      @trishahopkins6574 3 роки тому +4

      This was filmed in the 00's not last week or haven't you joined the dots yet? Her house is probably now worth about £750K

  • @Ndkksooejn
    @Ndkksooejn 2 роки тому +6

    Dated this social worker briefly in her early 40s with 2 kids. Broke it off when she complained to me for an hour how she couldn't afford xmas presents for the kids, right as she was about to pick up $400 worth of mdma. Yeaaaah, nah.

  • @da__lang
    @da__lang 4 роки тому +23

    It was kind of nasty to put her on cold turkey the week of her twins’ birthday.

  • @figgy7099
    @figgy7099 2 роки тому +3

    Her singing Happy Birthday just drove both my cats out of the room in a furry.