IT WASN'T ME! System Responsibility in Dissociative Identity Disorder
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- Опубліковано 6 чер 2024
- Jamie talks about the meaning and our thoughts on system responsibility within Dissociative Identity Disorder. This is just our opinion and views can be interpreted however you choose 😊
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⚠️ Trigger/Content warning ⚠️
+ Discussions of crime and criminal activity
===Whilst we may give self-help tips and advice, we are not a replacement for any mental health professional===
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★ Resources: ★
Some of these papers for this round hold lots of personal negative bias and make sweeping generalisations, which is a shame as it takes away from the actual facts brought from the studies and conclusions... keep in mind before reading as some of these can be quite infuriating to read!
☆ Farrell (2011) Dissociative Identity Disorder: No Excuse for Criminal Activity.
www.webcitation.org/69gTpoEKq...
☆ Galton, G., & Sachs, A. (Eds.). (2018). Forensic aspects of dissociative identity disorder. Routledge.
☆ Mahoney, B (2018) interviewing, dissociative identity disorder and the role of the Registered Intermediary
www.emerald.com/insight/conte...
☆ Paris, J. (2019). Dissociative identity disorder: validity and use in the criminal justice system. BJPsych Advances, 25(5), 287-293.
www.cambridge.org/core/journa...
☆ Steele, K., van der Hart, O., & Nijenhuis, E. R. S. (2009) The theory of trauma-related structural dissociation
psycnet.apa.org/record/2008-0...
☆ Supreme Court of Washington,En Banc. STATE of Washington, Petitioner, v. William B. GREENE, Respondent. No. 67250-4. Decided: September 30, 1999
caselaw.findlaw.com/wa-suprem...
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isstd.connectedcommunity.org/...
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Thank you so much for this excellent video. I love that Jamie did it, which also means you, Jess, did it as well...
System responsibility is like the situation with hypnosis - a person cannot be hypnotised into doing something they would never really want to do in the first place. Alters’ capabilities are that of the whole. Perhaps the exception is with alters that have been deliberately programmed to act in a way the person would not want, but this would have to have happened very early in the brain’s development, and would be akin to a form of radicalisation/brainwashing. So the majority of people with DID would have nothing like this in their system. Even where people do not know what their alters are doing (in amnesic state), the responsibility is there, like it or not. But then, as you say, the behaviour is only what the person would be tolerant of, whether at a surface or deeper level (and a lot of people lie to themselves about they are truly capable of). Fascinating topic, extremely well delivered.
Hi Dr. Mike! Thank you for your response. Very good answer. I so appreciate you and Jess & Co.
What do you mean about having a part deliberately programmed for something? Surely that alter is still a part of you and requires education to better understand how things really are. I understand how this would make things exceedingly difficult, but not why it would be an exception. I hope this question made sense
Sophia For example, alters that have built in suggestions to return to abusers based on triggers, such as contacting a therapist. We are not talking about blame and punishment but, as you say, empathy and education in therapy to deprogramme that aspect of functioning.
mind controll programing is fake?
@@kaiyodei no, as human beings we're a conditioned/programmed all the time. Positive conditioning/Negative conditioning, eg. subliminal conditioning by portraying creeds/races/etc as always bad in media. Mind control programming is a more sophisticated form, but is done all the time within families (family rules), and groups with less than pure intentions. Wherever there is someone in power enforcing their way of thought on those with less power, there is conditioning.
i stopped 2 seconds in and freaked out at how friggin deep jamies voice is wtf
Like different from how he normally sounds?
@Thelma Hale they replied to my comment on the "alters birthdays" video that they think it's an issue with the videos Resolution and that it may have impacted the audio, but they guys aren't complaining lol
Christopher Thomas this one has perfect resolution as we reset it 🙈 this one is just pure and simple Jamie 😄
@@MultiplicityAndMe oh wow! That's nuts, I always underestimate the power of your voices, like, I actually sometimes for get it's one body becuase of how different you all act and sound
It shows how much our voice is part of our personality
A man who assaulted my children tried to use the insanity plea and claimed D.I.D. This led me to researching and following several UA-camrs. He was found to not have D.I.D and is spending 25 years in prison. I appreciate this video.
It makes me angry that he tried this as a defense, and it makes me happy that it was found he was faking and went to prison.
I’m glad that he’s behind bars, even if he has DID. doesn’t really matters to me an abuser is an abuser.
Thats so disgusting, I hope your children and you are doing well now.
Glad he was put in prison, faking disorders and abusing children is utterly disgusting. May you and your children get better
@@am-zj4mq We are all doing ok right now. We have a great team of therapists for both kids that are really helping. I also want to say that staying home for the last year due to Covid has also been a good thing because now I’m seeing my youngest going through trauma flashbacks and they don’t have any additional anxiety from public school....
This is applicable in some way to anyone with a mental illness/disorder. “That was my depression/bpd/bipolar/ect that did that”. Mental health issues is an explanation, not an excuse, and we need to be accountable for the hurt we cause others.
I do think that there is some exception.
@@MinieAnne the only time there is an exception is if someone is genuinely so cognitively disabled they didn't know that what they were doing was wrong, there is no other exception. I know that's a hard thing to accept and I remember how much it hurt me the first time I realised I had to take responsibility for my actions when I was triggered or hurting, but it's incredibly important to accept it nontheless. That doesn't mean you were the only one at fault or that there were no other factors outside of your control that affected the situation but you still played a part in doing the thing that was wrong, and so you need to take responsibility for that.
valid as some of those might include altered mind states. god, even a kid ND kid with adhd acting up can't be held responsible for bad actions because they don't understand (like getting arrested for hitting a teacher)
@@kaiyodei Bruh in what universe do people with adhd not understand that hitting is wrong, we can't control our actions well when our emotions get out of control but that doesn't mean we don't know the difference between right and wrong.
@@butasimpleidiotwizard I don't know. saw it on comments on fb about that child who's (alleged?) agression on a teacher was responded with overkill by being arrested for felony assault. "he is special needs, he dosen't understand!" . (also isn't arresting him fighting youthism? I know there are people who want us to stop demening children and treating them as incompetent children, even letting 10 year olds take driving tests and drive if they want, as well as let a 16 year old be a president if they want, arresting them is fighting youthism! XD)
Yes! I saw this in a "friend" who treated me very badly and would always say "oh my depression makes me do that".
Just because you have Depression or other mental health problems, doesnt mean, you have to act like an a*se.
It's an explanation, not an excuse.
Omg thank yoz for the heart 😍🙌
I’m not buying that “depression” excuse.
I have major depressive disorder. I’ve never used it as an excuse for treating people like shit.
I don’t actually think I have treated others like shit (although maybe some would disagree 😂) - overall, we’re far more likely to treat ourselves like shit and put others first.
Wait people are capable of doing things during depression period? Heck I'm glad that after an hour of persuading myself I'm able to go to the bathroom or for glass of water...
This is overall good advice for everyone, DID or singleton.
exactly!
Something about being called a "Singleton" is hilarious to me. Idk if that is the actual term but either way I like it.
@@TheNo1pencil it’s the nickname for those of us without DID 🙂
Hey! Leave us singletons out of it.
We NEVER make excuses. We ALWAYS take responsibility!
(See also my Craigslist ad: I’m selling the Brooklyn Bridge at a bargain price.)
The way I tried to explain this to a 'friend' when I apologised for something an alter did (she couldn't understand why I was the one doing it) was when you go on a school trip, kids wear uniform and get told that they are representing the school. No matter who misbehaved, the school will apologise.
Another great video. Thanks 💜
That's a really good way to explain it.
@@karalibra3032 thanks 💜
I don't have DID, but I've always had this habit of using the phrase "part of me thinks that . . ". But I've decided to stop using it because it's very passive speech and I figure if *part of me thinks something, then *I think that, so I need to take ownership of my thoughts and feelings.
I mean usually when you say "part of me thinks" it's to represent the fact that there's internal conflict and you aren't wholly decided on what you think, like "part of me really wants ice cream but the rest of me knows dinner is 5 minutes away and that wouldn't be a great idea", it's still taking responsibility, you're just also acknowledging that you don't necessarily fully agree with the thought.
IFS
Interesting thought - thank you for that :)
I'm not talking from a DID perspective but just a general mental illness perspective, this is kind of a quote that really helped me: it may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility. Accountability for yourself (your body, your brain) is a key part of healing. Things we learn that help us get through trauma or deal with our mental health can be maladaptive in other contexts. Ultimately, just because you did a "bad thing" does not make you a "bad person".
Forget the mental illness. EVERYONE needs to understand this.
What a well done combination of “Own your shit” but also “Be gentle with yourself.”
Great vid Jamie, Jess and gang 😊
So important! Alters are only ever capable of what the system at it's core is capable of. The many ways this relates and branches out to everyday experiences makes this such an invaluable lesson for systems to learn. Of course it's a hard pill to swallow but it's also a leap in healing.
Absolutely!
Beautifully said.
I have BPD and it's obviously not the same as having DID, but with the strong emotions + impulsiveness + depersonalization, it's so easy for me to say 'I didn't mean to do that, it was because of my bpd'. I've had to really teach myself that I'm always responsible for my actions and if I hurt someone, I need to apologise and work on whatever caused me to act that way.
Oh this came at just the right time, our persecutor really hurt a lot of people in one of our servers and although they don’t blame me this video helped me see that I need to take responsibility and apologise to them for us, and then help hunter understand that his actions are wrong, thank you!!
This is such an interesting topic, instinctively as a non-system I would feel that each part would be separately responsible for only their own actions/behaviours because each part is an individual, so this was really educational!
Actually systems have different levels of amnesia, so if you have an issue with an alter speak with them directly and don’t assume someone else in their system can speak for them (or even that they’ll know they exist)
As someone who doesn't have DID but does have other mental health issues I'd probably frame as like blaming something you did on being drunk. The drunk version of you definitely acts differently and could be a reason for those actions but those are still your actions whether sober you agrees with them or not.
That's how it was for me with anxiety, OCD, ADHD, and depression. Any one of those things could cause me to act a certain way but that doesn't mean it wasn't me and those aren't excuses for my actions.
I saw your guys' tweet on how hard it was to get this out, but I'm really glad you managed to
I don't have DID and I don't think I know anyone that has it, but I'm always interested in things I don't understand and like to educate myself. But hopefully I will be able to be a understanding and helpful person if someone around me opens up.
I have to say, every time I watch your videos or read something of yours I always think how lucky we are that you guys are willing to talk about DID, educate and just be a calm and compassionate influence here on UA-cam. And I just imagine how scary DID must be, especially before a diagnosis, and how much help a channel like this must be for someone. So I think it's really amazing that you are willing to be so open and share, and I think Jess has made a good choice when it comes to her job and studies 😊
Have a nice weekend 🌸
I agree
We may feel like individuals, we're still technically one divided in parts. Each action that some of us do is something that everyone else could make if we were a "whole" person.
And no condition ever should justify commiting mistakes or being assholes.
At least in my opinion
Also I love Jamie's voice and way of talking. It's very relaxing
other DIDtubers and whatnot say they are literal people, like a conjoined twin.
I think you still have to treat each alter as such 😃 we very much are our own “individual”, but we need to remember we are collectively one whole, although that may feel like a v uncomfortable fact
exactly! one body - one brain, few identities who are individual to themselves, one human being with few states of mind? I hope I make sense but that’s how I see it for my system.
kaiyodei I guess it’s good that they have a way to identify what they feel, but c-ptsd disorders are super different in each and every case, and sometimes their story is a big part of how and why they see life the way the do, but responsibility is important just as much as compassion is for people even if they’re complicated and detached.
You are right, if someone (friend/family member/...) is abusive and don't show signs that he/she/they want to REALLY change, no mental illness is an excuse for it, I know what I put my family through with my mood disorder and I know that people around a person with a mental illness might be tempted to save ''the lost cause'' but if that person don't acknowledge his behavior or want to change it, there is nothing in the world that you can do except safeguard yourself and put barriers and limits.
First of all, Jamie: you are so well spoken and I love when you make videos. So charming!Secondly, to everyone in the system: I needed to tell you that your channel is one of the most personable resources for trauma processing and recovery out there. Not just for DID, but for any trauma! Your explanations and empathy balanced with a healthy attitude toward therapy and self-improvement are so, so perfect. You remind everyone watching that their trauma is valid but the importance of working to improve your mental health is just as significant. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your wisdom with the rest of us! Cheers!
Beautiful feedback! Thank you
Yes, so true!!
Thanks for that beautifully clear explanation, Jamie. I do not have DID but struggle with taking responsibility sometimes for actions I commit in my unhealthy states. For example, when I’m manic it can feel like that wasn’t me, it was the mania talking I couldn’t stop. Or when I’m depressed and irritable, it was my depression and I told you I needed space because I was irritable and you didn’t listen. I’m an extremely empathetic person normally and want to do anything I can to avoid anyone around me getting hurt, so those altered states (I’m not sure what to call them, because they certainly don’t FEEL like me) just feel like separate people almost for me to shake my finger at, even though they’re not. Arguments happen inside me all the time where I feel like I have been split down the middle inside into two totally different ways of thinking with totally different opinions and perceptions of reality. One is always very rational and the other is flying off the handle. And I feel like I’m just watching and listening to them argue. Waiting to see which one wins and decides my fate almost.
It was helpful to hear from someone who experiences this on a much deeper and MORE separate level that no, I am responsible for actions this body does. No matter where I was at health wise or how out of control I felt. If I can’t control it, I need to continue seeking help and support with that, not abdicate responsibility. I don’t think I really realized I was doing that until this video. Thank you for giving me a more right way to think of this so I can process where I need to go with my mental health journey even more.
I love Jamie’s falsetto. Anyone who disbelieves DID is real only needs to hear this man, with a woman’s vocal chords, still produce a masculine falsetto without “breaking character” for a damn second. The human body and mind is collectively an absolutely fascinating thing.
One thing that helped me to understand this is thinking about how you (as an alter or system) are perceived by the average person. If you hurt someone someone, they won't know the next time they see that body that it's not the same alter behind the wheel. And even if they do, it's important to remember that they now see that the brain within that body is capable of doing those things. For you as the the alter that didn't harm them yourself, you have to recognize that you being able to interact with them is greatly hindered by the association of that action with the body, along with the brain you're part of. To own up to the behavior is to open up the possibility of putting it behind you, and possibly the whole system, as well as possibly taking the negative association that person has with your system out of the equation. It's not fair to let others feel hurt by you/your system and expect them to not treat it as such.
SoulEater Evans ; This is such a good point that I literally screen shot it so I can remember it, thankyou ! 🌻🖖🏻
Very well said!
Feel free to correct me, but I like to think of it as similar to one's past actions. The person I am today is very different than say me in middle school, but if I hurt someone back then, I would still be held accountable for that action now. Similarly in the present, no matter the state of their identity, if they act, they're responsible.
I wish “healthy” people would see this and apply it for themselves too 🤷🏻♂️
My housemate and best friend found out about our system a few months ago when I felt that our relationship was strong enough for me to be completely honest with her. She is an amazing little bean and tried to be supportive, but of course stigma does play a big role on the way she sees them (I'm one of the hosts). She is still really tense whenever she notices a switch, and she treats whoever is fronting apart from me really coldly and dismissively. I can't blame he for that, but that behaviour caused my alters to have a bad opinion of her. Depending on who it is in her presence they can feel detached, annoyed, alert or even scared. My youngest little firmly believes that my friend eats system's children because she hates them and she is terrified of even going to the bathroom if she is around.
We are a covert system so everyone tries to hide in front if her, but sometimes she notices nonetheless and that's where the trouble is. My co-host and one of my more blunt and direct alters really can't stand her. They try and be as controlled as possible, and to be kind because they are good people. But sometimes they get triggered by things she says or does and get a little bit too argumentative. My protector is really strict when it comes to manners, diplomacy and kindness and they always end up getting told off. On the other side my friend complains about them, even when they didn't say anything offensive or sarcastic, expecting them to be exactly like me and to have the same feelings I have for her despite not trying in the least to get to know them or understand them. I always end up having to apologise for them all the time and at the same time having to endure hours of arguments and discussions inside my head.
I completely agree with system responsibility, but I also believe that some singlets should make a bigger effort understanding the vast diversity that occurs in between personalities, not expecting perfection and utter compliance, the same way you wouldn't expect two completely different friends of yours to act in an identical manner.
We are good people, all of us. But that goes for every singlet that happens to know a system: alters don't like to be treated like freaks, psychopaths or criminals, very much like anyone else on this earth. Don't expect to be treated nicely if you aren't willing to be nice as well.
Give her sometime. I'm sure she would come around. Hope you all are doing better
Although it was an abusive father that kick-started our D.I.D., we were lucky that we had a very down-to-Earth mum (also a victim of the same man. She eventually packed up our stuff, picked me up and bailed) who taught us exactly this. The metaphor she used (not sure if it's 100% accurate but WE understood it at least) was, if I punched someone with my right hand, even though I'm left handed, I still need to apologise because they're both connected to the same person.
That’s a really wonderful metaphor!
I had to laugh when you used, "That wasn't me! It was Patricia!" as an example of how accountability doesn't work, because it could have been a random name grab, but it sounded like it very much could have been you calling out the Split fandom, too.
I was 😆
This is also quite empowering when thinking about good actions. If one alter is capable of doing something brave, for example, then we all have the capacity to be. :)
Yessssss 👏🏻
I think this goes more to "This is a healthier way to act in this condition" than "That was your doing, don't pretend it wasn't".
In DID there's the matter of the body where it makes things more complicated. If one alter does something bad, it's hard for others to see it separately, so it's better to the system take each other's responsibility to work together for healthier relationships overall. And when it comes to the law like you mentioned, it would be hard to deal with it separately as there's just one body.
It would almost be like if I was walking with my dog and didn't take care of it really well. If it bites someone it is my fault as well. It wasn't me doing it, but I had to take care of it and taking responsibility might make me take care of this situation more properly.
For clarification: Not diagnosed at this point but I did have a phone consultation with a few trauma specialists and one of them believes that DID is a possibility for me at this time.
One of my parts was really active in late high school and she had a romantic relationship with someone I (if I was a system, I'd be the host and she was an emotional protector), I saw as just a friend. I broke off her relationship and she was resentful towards me, and was getting into persecutor territory. I reached out to apologize and explain my side of things to the person that she dated to potentially heal old wounds on their end and for her to find closure in the relationship I ended without her consent. She's hurt but she forgives me and unfortunately I lost a friend because of it. This happened this week too so this hit at the right time.
Part of healing, and unfortunately part of life, is to be accountable for our shortcomings, even when another part of you feels so disconnected from what happened.
Thank you for covering this! I've seen so many systems try to hide behind the 'it wasn't me' statement! (Also i relate to the glasses struggle so hard lmao, it's so annoying)
I think the way I always saw system responsibility with the idea of even if I wasn’t controlling the body’s hands, they were used to hurt somebody (theoretically speaking!) so an apology is necessary for us to take responsibility because the person we hurt doesn’t see that alter, just the hands that hurt.
“I went through abuse, ultimately I did not experience abuse.” Oh that’s. A nice summation of my experience in therapy recently.
First time commenter I think, but want to thank you for all you do! I was on UA-cam reviewing psychology videos for my medical college admissions test, and a video on DID started autoplaying afterwards. I didn't know anything about it, so I watched, and eventually ended up on your channel! I really love how educational you are, while still talking about your personal experiences (as I believe there is nothing like learning about a condition directly from patients who deal with it!). As a future doctor, I'm grateful that I will be able to use what I've learned from you to be a more understanding physician for future patients I encounter with DID 😊
I love and appreciate how you always reference your sources or studies. It doesn’t happen enough in general!
Jamie thank you for clearing this up. This is powerful information and everyone. Everyone. EVERYONE. EVERY SINGLE PERSON. Needs to see this video!! I struggle with BPD and I guess i can relate (by no means am I suggesting that my disorder is in any way the same as or the same experience as DID. Quite far from my point) to saying/doing things that don't necessarily reflect 'ME' when they happen. I dissociate and get confused and struggle to place the anger with myself. I suppose in an attempt to protect 'me'. And you know what, accountability is SO important. Accountability is what is pushing the mh community forward. Accountability is the first step towards treatment. Acknowledging every part of your being and its capabilities is so important. Youre so important. Im SO glad that YOUR SYSTEM has a presence on the internet. You make a world of difference. And i appreciate you ❤💖❤
I think your courage, strength of character and confidence to unitedly speak out about this is amazing. Keep up your supportive work and keep being that happy bubbly you. 😊
Thank you. This video gave me prospective on one of my friend's situations. Also some reflection on myself. It helps me realize how far I've come in my system and how we fit and work together. God bless all of you. This channel has been a huge help to me in ways all of you will never know. I'm so grateful to have found your channel.
Thanks so much for talking about this, Jamie. I was honestly a tiny bit scared that you talked about this and postponed watching it, but I knew I have to watch it one day, even if just for information. After watching this, I know that system responsibility is already in place for us. Since our last split, we have two new alters and I am relieved that they didn't act out against anybody. We got hold of the situation pretty quickly, so me and Mya (my Co-Host) are very relieved about that and could figure out some ground rules to keep everyone on track. We take our morals and accountability very seriously, so we always apologise if something was weird or rude from anyone of us. We are letting each and everyone (in the system) know what to expect and I am glad that after a few days of adjustments and arguments, all alters are on the same level again.
I have one question to your system, in regard to therapy. During our last session, I was in the back. Atemu and Mya were co-fronting with Atemu in charge of the body. He was talking most of the time and our therapist confronted him with himself being a part of me/us (I am the alter carrying our body's name, and also the host). He didn't take it very well and it ended up with him being very hurt and broken.
What can we do to make him feel better and..supported in a way? He is in shock and... very scared of vanishing. :(
Thank you for your videos - Isabell (Host of The White Room System)
I really needed this today! I have recently had issues about this very topic!
Jamie I've missed you so much. Your voice is so soothing.
This video is everything! As someone who is dating some one with assumed DID this has helped so much! Unfortunately recently one of his other ones haven't been so kind to either of us and this video was something I needed to hear! Thank you so much for making this! ❤️❤️
This is such great information 😃 And hi Jamie, it’s nice to see you again 💛
Hi Jamie is good to see you again. Love this video and love the information you are all getting out.
Took us a while to get to the point that we even understood that we have the disorder so a lot of shit behavior and confusing behavior ran others out of our lives who genuinely cared. Ever since the one time we actually abused an abuser... We just threw up a block on anything resembling that behavior... Forced the part to go dormant and basically tried our best to not even let unkind words out... It's not perfect but it's so much better... and we're not stressing out or scaring people out of our lives anymore.
We're no longer pursuing revenge at this point because of what happened. Turns out forcing yourself to act out the violence of an abuser to "even the score" cuts you as deep or deeper than what they did. We can never feel just or good again.
But, we have not and will never indulge in that again. We'd rather die than face the internal aftermath of that.
And it changed nothing. What they did still happened and then we got victimized worse afterward. We hadn't fixed ourselves or them.
Take it from us, live for anything worth living for but revenge... It's not what its cracked up to be.
Justice might sometimes impossible. But the alternative... It's not going to help. Aim to stop the abusers, but don't join them in the muck.
We figured it out piecemeal, by ourselves, and then had it reinforced by some pop culture (among them the K-drama called Kill me, Heal me... Which wasn't perfect at all but made system responsibility more clear).
We are SO damn glad this channel exists, so other Systems don't have to suffer like we did or end up mirroring their abusers behavior out of pain and sheer dgaf.
Thank you for sharing your story and journey
@@MultiplicityAndMe we just really hope it helps others avoid these mistakes. We fucked up royally, and are lucky the consequences were only as bad as they were, we don't want anyone else blindly seeking the closure few if any ever get. We know its hard to accept that one even has this disorder, least of all the why's of it.
But if we all didn't seek to help ourselves and seek treatment, we never would have broken even a bit of the ugly cycle we were in.
By all accounts we'd be dead. At best.
We don't want anyone to end up that way when life can be so beautiful, and so much less painful than it has been for so many of us.
You all helped us a ton, thank you for engaging when I know it must be hard to have so many voices clamoring for validation 💜
-Éabha and the Library System
Thankyou all endlessly for making this, it says so much in a precise manner. 🦋🖖🏻🌻
Thank you Jamie and family 💓 this helps and makes so much sense.
This makes me think of when I’m having a BPD tantrum (for lack of a better word) and I know what I’m doing is wrong and unjust, but I just can’t seem to stop it.
Now that’s because I haven’t tried hard enough to help myself, I know I can walk away but I want to fight so I stay 😅
This was so educational ! Thankyou ! And I love love love love your voice, Jamie. I also love your channel. More power to your system. ❤️❤️😅😁
I know this may sound odd. I don't have DID, but your videos have really helped my mental health anyway. I have never been diagnosed with any mental disorder, but I did experience a traumatic event when I was younger. For a long time I pushed down the memories of the situation and tried to ignore flashbacks. I've finally told one of my parents vaguely about what happened and at first it felt awful. Now I'm glad I said it. It makes me feel less "crazy" and somehow like it has less power over me now that I'm not trying to pretend it never happened. Thank you!
Loved the video, couldn’t help chuckle at Jamie’s voiceover voice and how it shows the difference in what alters have access too knowing Jess’ voice is higher but when Jamie goes for a higher pitch it sounds like how I as a guy would mimick a higher pitched voice if that makes sense.... anyway love the content as always
I've always been curious on how System Responsibility works, and I've seen other channels touch on it but I'm glad there's now a video of it in depth. Also, saw your Instagram story, I hope your arm gets better soon!
Thank you Jamie for this helpful video! System responsibility has been the easiest for me personally, only because I know my mental disorder exists. It was harder when I didn’t know, but now I know so I can accept responsibility. Thanks and Smilies!
I’m always so shocked by how different Jamie’s voice is! Nice video by the way :)
Such great messages to deliver! I couldn’t agree more! Thanks for putting this out here so bluntly and simply!
Jamie is so calming and his accent is amazing. I'm a fellow Brit but I do love the posh accent we have. Missed him so much, I'm glad he made a video xx
I admire all of you, you have taught me, educated me over the years, brought understanding etc to me and so, so many others. Your words are so meticulous and hold such emotion and truth.
I truly hope you are all doing well, this year is a crazy year with so many ups and downs.
I think about you jess and all of your family quite often. Again i admire you and what you have done for us, those that just do not know, understand or have the ability to try and understand, you have given that, thankyou all of you...
P.s, Hi olly, I hope your doing well during covid. I've been playing quite a few games on playstation, one is called wreckfest, it is awesome, ive been racing buses, lawn mowers etc and its all derby wins. I'm in Australia we doing ok with covid, ive thought about what you guys might be up to and how your spending your time, so i thought I'd mention this game. :) x
Good to see you out Jamie! Thank you all for this video, it was really interesting and informative!
Thank you for this great video Jamie 😊 Personal and System Responsibility is extremely important to us, but we did have a laugh because how many Singulars fail at taking personal responsibility 🤔😂😂😂 It’s also important to note that in many cases abuse and trauma survivors have a pattern of taking responsibility for stuff that isn’t theirs and it’s really important to work through and break that pattern along with any associated unhealthy patterns such as mirroring an abusers lack of personal responsibility. For our System if someone is behaving in a manner that is detrimental to themselves and/or the whole we all sit down together and ask the Alter what is going on for them, how are they feeling, and what do they need from us to help and support them. Because these behaviours stem from something and once we establish what that is we work together to resolve it. And if they don’t want to discuss it with us, which is now very rare, they will talk to our practitioners about it and we resolve it via them.
I just found your channel and I am so grateful for what I have seen so far, my bf has DID and has started therapy recently and your videos definitely bring up some good questions and things to do and work on for him, so thank you
Thank you so much for clarifying this!
Thanks for being so open and honest about this subject.
For me I look at the issue as "yes, the system has separate parts" but as you said Jamie, "at the core we're all the same". You can't separate those different parts of you and while it sucks and seems not fair to hold the rest of the body in account for a wrong action when it wasn't any of them that did it, there is no other choice.
It does bring up a question though I think: would the rest of the System set their own punishment upon the wrong-doer regardless if they are publicly held accountable or not? So say in the case of a drunk driving, the personality at the time is held accountable by law, but the rest of the System also sets up a punishment as well somehow?
@Elisa Castro I think you misread what I was getting at. I'm not saying to tweak the legal system as I agree alters do share all one body and therefore you cannot avoid punishing the alters for something one of them did.
What I was wondering is if the system itself does/will punish the actual perpetrator of a wrongdoing regardless of what happens legally, because as a system the perpetrator is part of, in a way it could do more to punish than the actual legal system.
I’m glad you addressed this topic, i think it’s really important for everyone to take responsibility for our own actions.
this video was so helpful, there were a lot of things about system responsibility in DID that I couldn't understand, and this is super informative 💖
btw I don't know why but Jamie's voice helps me so much with concentrating, like I have ADD and its so hard to genuinely pay attention so I usually watch this videos like 3 times but with his voice its much easier to actually concentrate than it usually is for me.
Thank you for making this video. You helped me heal
Informative, thank you! ❤️ Would you consider doing a video on how to find a trauma informed therapist? It can be quite hard!
Ty I really needed this I’ve been having a hard time with some people in the system
It's been a minute since one of the other alters pulled up to a video. Glad to see it. Very refreshing👌🏾😌
I think about Jamie's "well...tough" whenever I have to do a thing I don't want to do and it always makes me smile.
Thank you for posting videos which we can always learn something from. Btw love your accent Jamie!
Jake’s intro song should become the new intro I can’t get it out of my head
wait, whose Jack? do you mean Jake? ( the one talking in the video is Jamie though )
HelloXrancidkitteh oh my god yes thank you for correcting me lol
Thanks for citing literature, I’ve found it hard to find and parse papers since psychology isn’t my field of study
Hello, I just wanted to say that I thank you for sharing your experience with DID and being so open and honest. I have CPTSD and other mental health disorders. I hand a close friend who has DID, we were friends for about 8 years till we had a major falling out. I hope she is doing ok. anyway, I learned a lot from her I look forward to learning more from you. thanks again (I hope I made at least a little sense and that I am as respectful as possible)
You explained things so well. I'm an outsider that is fascinated by how the brain works (or doesn't work!), and I find your videos the easiest to understand and are the least intimidating.(totally down to my lack of understanding). Keep up the great work!
I feel like Jamie would be the worlds best teacher. I could honestly listen to him for hours without getting bored and I'd still probably remember most of what he said.
Great video
Thank you. As a counsellor I have wondered about this.
Thank you for this video! Your insight is super valuable and I agree 100% that system responsibility/accountability is important. My only note (if I may) is that the music in this video made it very hard for me to listen to you speaking. I have auditory processing disorder, and overlapping sounds can be really disorienting when not leveled appropriately. A simple solution for English speakers would be to add captions to this video, but it’s just an suggestion of course. Thanks to your system for the educational content that you make. 🙏🏻
Thank you for the feedback 😄 we ran through some of the editing and didn’t realise the audio was so loud. We also usually do captions but we haven’t had a chance yet - hopefully later today we’ll get the opportunity
As always, very well spoken, Jamie! As others have said, this is great advice for those of us that don’t have a system, but also just a great look-in to the system’s workings about what happens when others are fronting.
Question: When one of you feels sad or upset in one way, how does that affect all the others? Does everyone feel that feeling in some way, or is it more of a sympathy thing?
Hi! It depends on the closeness/friendship/relationship of that alter, with one to another. Just like with real friends/family. For instance, if your best friend was sad, vs. a distant cousin you don't really talk with, who will you sympathize more with? The best friend of course. Now, the host/core can sometimes feel an "echo" of that feeling an alter is having. I do!
Our ex, another system, had one alter who did... something horrible... to me. When I confronted them about it, they started to say that it wasn't them, just their alter who didn't know it was wrong. (What he did could not possibly be interpreted as right in any way). We told them it wasn't an excuse and that we had alters make mistakes too, but we always tried to apologize for whatever they did. I kid you not, the day after, someone fronted and asked me why we were mad at their system and literally told us "Well the guy that hurt you is dormant, so just forgive us can't you?"
I think I will send them this video. Even though it is old as of now, thank you for making it. You're our main source of information about ourselves, and what led us to seek a diagnosis in the first place.
-Joseph
This is exactly what we have been trying to come to terms with recently, so thank you for helping us digest a tough truth.
It's helpful to start off in the journey noticing the differences between altars and giving people a chance to be themselves, but ultimately systems have to come back around to the idea of being one big whole and a person collectively.
Yes, we're one big whole, but not one big person. Imagine if all the characteristics of all your alters shoved into a single person, without being able to switch between identities. It would be a very hypocritical and conflicted 'person'. That's how we know systems aren't all just one person- that person does not exist. We are parts of a single entity, a single brain, a single whole- but still multiple people.
@@thedestroyasystem ? I honestly can't tell if you're taking issue with some part of what I said (like the word person maybe?) or just repeating what I said plus a really obvious additional fact. Did you think I was trying to say we're a single person somehow? Cuz that would just be weird.
@@marq6929 Well, yes, the former. Some people do think that- if you don't, great! Sorry for the misunderstanding. It's just important to watch your words, I think- and that goes for anyone
@@thedestroyasystem as a multiple, I don't think I could possibly see a single person coming out of a collective short of full integration (which is possible, but was not the topic at hand), and I figured the context would make that obvious, but yes the "one big whole" was meant to modify the traditional understanding of the word person. Since there really isn't a good term for it, I guess the only other way I could have said this would be to use the phrase "functioning system," but that wasn't really the effect I was going for, so I'm gonna stick with the concept of one big, collective self/person/body-with-many-mental-states-acting-as-a-sinlge-lifeform arising out of working together and sharing responsibility.
@@marq6929 I use body/mind/brain/whole/entity/system to describe all of us together. Just because if a singlet were to read "we're all different parts of one person" rather than "we're all different part of one " it would make less sense and sort of diminish our individuality. I like to think of it like we're a big friend group, if I was hanging out with my friend who's not part of the group and someone came up and was a jerk, I'd have to apologize for them cuz they're part of my friendgroup, y'know? Not because I had any control over what they did. The "one big person" analogy is just kind of misleading IMO and I'm always tryna think of what someone with no knowledge of DID would think of what I read. Like, a friendgroup isn't a person, but it still alludes a sense of responsibility for another's action, so I think it's a good analogy
Thank you Jamie. I wonder if you or Jess could discuss responsibility in more complex cases, such as that of CRA and MK Ultra programming, where there may be hundreds of parts and deep amnesic barriers? BTW I have so been enjoying Dr. Mike Lloyd's videos and thank you (Jess) for introducing us to him. Be well.
I think you explained it in a way I can finally understand it, Jamie. We're all different, but we all come from the same "source material," or we're all cut from the same cloth, however you wanna look at it. Although, the other day, we had a situation where I could've apologized for another alter, but we all agreed that she should apologize for herself. If others in the system kept apologizing for her, she would never need to actually change anything about what she was doing. So in our case, it's weird, but apologizing for other alters just doesn't seem to work. - Cub (then again, if an alter REFUSES to apologize for themselves, I agree you'd definitely have to do some smoothing)
This is such a great video, we really love it!! Your explanation of all of us having responsibility for each other's actions was really clear and easy to understand. It was also a really good idea to bring structural dissociation into it, because it brings that little bit of scientific evidence to it that I think a lot of people need.
Thank youJamie!
Your eye makeup is on point! Great content, as always :)
This video could not have come at a better time. Thank you
Thank you for this video. Accepting responsibility and taking accountability of ones actions is such an important part of living with so many mental illnesses, not just DID. I say this not to downplay the importance of the unique and specific ways people with DID grapple with these difficulties, but to agree with you, when you spoke of the peace and stability it brings to ones life. It’s life changing! 😊 Be well.
Facinating as usual! 😊
Also I love the color of your hair, did you lighten it?
We did 😄
Great job Jamie!!!
Thank you Jamie I love you so much that was really good advice ❤️
"Mental health is not an excuse for avoiding accountability altogether." Jamie, can you say that again, only louder so this entire site can hear you.
wow I hadn't thought about it like that very clear explanation
watching jamie doing voices is hilarious n.n have a great weekend!
I just want to applaud you in Jess' system for the way you handle your situation of being a DID-system. You seem to do your very best in, what seems for an outsider, to be a very complex situation. What Jamie is preaching in this video is so wise and mature. You're not making yourselves to victims but to wise and mature people. The way you do that is so inspiring. Great applauds 👏
Very interesting and informative video. Thank you all for this video. It is 116° in Arizona, US. Yes, it is a dry heat but anything over 110° is just HOT!
Thank for making this video. I once had a friend who claimed to have DID and other issues. It’s not I didn’t believe her it’s just that used act erratically and even violently is some cases. She used to always try to justify herself by saying it wasn’t her. I was living with her, and even though I knew she was hurting really I had to move. I couldn’t keep being her punching bag
Thank you for this video. I know a few people with mental health issues who wouldn't take accountability and blame it on their mental health issues. It always bothered me, especially since I was the one getting hurt. So thank you for putting, in a very educated manor, why mental health is not an excuse and accountability is important.
I love this channel so much!❤