Hello Subscribers: Thank you for checking out my videos and posting such thoughtful comments. It's inspiring to read your self-reflections and insights. I love how we grow from each other's sharing. #healingjourney One thing I have learned after years of reading comments is that we are not alone. Many of us have the same experiences when it comes to relationships. We are all trying to make sense of attachment trauma and learn better skills of relating. Great job everyone - keep going and keep learning! As I'm sure you can understand, I'm not able to respond to all the comments and questions here on UA-cam. I know this can be disappointing sometimes. Please forgive me. It is challenging to find the time for the careful consideration that is needed in order to respond to your heartfelt reflections. Even so, your vulnerability shines through. I know behind each comment is a real person with real feelings who's hurting or who’s reporting a triumph. I know you are doing the best you can while trying to make sense of life’s suffering. We are all grappling with what it means to be human. I’m sorry that I’m not always able to respond to your comments directly. That being said, I'm sharing this post to offer you a few resources in an attempt for us to stay connected. Keep in mind that I do read most comments here on UA-cam. Your words are received. I review comments daily, which serves as a way to organize content for future videos. If you have a question or an idea for a video that you think is important to explore when it comes to learning about relationships and healing attachment trauma, then I want to hear about it. Please submit your questions and ideas here: www.alanrobarge.com/questions ______ Many of us want to know how to heal, how to change, how to be more secure in our relationships. This is why I created the course The Four Attachment Distress Responses. #traumahealing Many of our behaviors in relationships are habitual - meaning we act out of autopilot. Our autopilot Response comes from past conditioning of negative experiences. When attachment injuries go unaddressed, we become insecure in our relationships. The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course describes each specific type of guardedness, which is how we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, while also attempting to get our attachment needs met. While we cannot change the past, we can change how we respond in the moment and in the future. This course offers you insights and tools as new ways to respond in your relationships. The Four Responses are Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting. You’re invited to take the quiz to learn more about your Response. Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz ______ I created an 8-week program and membership community based on the guiding principle of Self-Directed Healing Work #selfhealers that I want to share with you. The community is called Improve Your Relationships. The focus is about healing attachment injuries in the context of relationship repair in all areas of our lives. When we look at the big picture of how attachment injuries and attachment trauma occurred in our lives, we are able to begin seeing our relationship choices from a whole new perspective. We gain access to inner resources that shift how we relate and respond to old hurts. It's a process. It's layered. It requires commitment. This is what the community is all about - committing to your healing work. You are invited to join us. The community members are kind and supportive. We are an established group. The feedback and testimonials have been overwhelmingly positive. Please check out the link for more information: www.alanrobarge.com/community ______ Also, in addition to checking out my course and/or joining us in the Community, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution. #payitforward Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality and accessible content. If you benefit from my videos and want to show your support for the value offered, then please make a donation: www.alanrobarge.com/donate ______ Thank you for being a channel subscriber and watching my videos. And remember, we invest in our healing work because “Emotional Connections Matter!” #healthyrelationships Best regards, Alan Robarge Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist www.alanrobarge.com
Everytime I get to a healthier perspective and take the glasses off...It happens again and I find myself feeling and thinking all the old abandonment again!! Feels unescapable!
My heart breaks at the idea of letting go of this identity, this identity of abandonment that I've known for the whole of my life. I think I'm in the anger and raging stages of grieving, it feels like such a violation to the fundamental core aspects of who I am. Maybe this is a loosening, I do enjoy the concept of feeling both with logic and reason, and the deeper stirrings of the heart as well. It's such an odd thing to move out of the so-called "comfort zone" of the identities that we are used to inhabiting, it is very fearful and uncomfortable, just as I felt many times as a small child and throughout my life. I don't know if I can trust the process, but perhaps I just need to allow it to happen, there doesn't seem to be any other real choice otherwise. This is some of the most painful and difficult work that I've ever had to do, I am so very angry, enraged, and saddened most of the time. The feelings of violation tear at my core being and leave me heartbroken. I can and will choose to breathe through these feelings, and to acknowledge my mindful awareness about them, it hurts so very much, but I suppose that is what one needs to feel. What a complete undoing of oneself. Ouch
Jesus Christ thanks for letting me hear this video and leading me here. May Gold Bless Mr Robarge and your family, you have uplifted my soul forever grateful.
“We make the rafts for the river out of suffering”. I was profoundly impacted, hearing this. That’s what I had done. Your joy and “shine” will return when you step slowly into new places, new hobbies, new challenges, new people. Separating was very hard for me. The challenges I set my sight on helped me get through: completing a 2-mile open ocean swim, and learning how to sail. Mission accomplished! It’s great to feel some joy again.
Wow, that is impressive. Thank you for valuing my work. Glad it delivered inspiration. Also, since you've found this content helpful, I want to invite you to the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. This is the type of content we gather around in conversations. Learn more here: www.alanrobarge.com/community
In all my romantic relationships I was always so codependent I learned it's from mother and father emotionally and physical abandoning me. I'm ready to move forward. I want a better life.
I'm glad to see that this video sparked reflection for you. This kind of self-reflection is beneficial. Educating ourselves can help us invite relating with others differently. Since you like this content, you might also like taking The Attachment Distress Quiz. Click here: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
Thank you Alan. I was abandoned when I was only two months. After watch your video, I am going to change how I look at myself and I represent myself to the world.
Happy to let go of the abandonment, rejection, feeling ignored. Feel like it's coming to final resolution. Discovering the concept of having an attachment trauma has been the missing key to finally freeing myself.
Nice to hear you are finding so much benefit. Thank you for valuing my efforts to deliver quality content. If you value this content and like learning with others who have a similar focus as you do then you may be interested in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. Join us! www.alanrobarge.com/community
im only at 2:48 of the video. Stopped to thanks for showing me a different perspective of aproaching my situation. "the identification" of the situation instead the experience of it. Eyes opener words. Thanks brother. (im going on watching the video, but THANKS for sharing your knowledge/experience)
Thank you for the supportive comment. Yes, it's good to bring awareness around these over-identifications. I'm glad to hear this video was illuminating. Thank you for valuing my work. If you'd like to learn how to engage more or support the continuation of my videos check out the options below: Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz Check out the Community, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community Make a direct donation www.alanrobarge.com/donate Thanks again for letting me know the video was helpful.
I appreciate the kind words. Thank you for valuing my effort. Glad my work brings you benefit. You're invited to join us in our conversations on this topic in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. www.alanrobarge.com/community
Hey! Are you listening in to my heart and head?! 🤔❤️ this video could literally have been posted just for me. I am right there on my path across the suffering river; floating along on that flipping raft of fear and hurt 🙄 I am blooming ready to get off and grieve. Just listening to you and hearing, who would I be if I wasn’t the “abandoned one”? sparked a physical feeling of grief and fear in itself. I knew this would happen though, I’m ready for the work. I had to free myself from being “the bereaved one” ten years ago and I healed that pain ☺️ I know I can heal the abandonment as well 💪🏻 Alan, thank you for your attachment wisdom, compassion and empathy ❤️ I have never come across so much eloquent knowledge, specific to me in one therapist/professional, over 25 years of therapy and mental health care 🙏 💓
Thanks Alan. Your really awesome and helping me to understand myself and take positive steps forward in my own journey and life. Appreciate your wisdom.
Glad my work brings value. It has taken me years of study and healing process to uncover this insight and explain it to so it is accessible. I appreciate the feedback. This is also a topic that comes up in conversations in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. I welcome you joining us. www.alanrobarge.com/community
Thanks for the feedback. Glad to hear you like watching the videos. You may like to consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter to help continue video creation. Thanks again for the supportive comment. Here's the link if you'd like to leave a donation: www.alanrobarge.com/donate
I was thinking the same thing. I think having compassion for the abandoned self and validating those feelings of abandonment might be more helpful in creating a space where you can let go of the I am abandoned story/identity.
optimistic nihilist : & these wise replies, yes ; I sense he means it helps us to truly heal : as we simultaneously take a step bsck we also come closer to our inner wounds ; now more able to see it clearly with this new permission acceptance observation & detachment compassion from loving support like Alan to then free ourselves to see more clearly that it's what happened TO us but it's not totally US ! Not our full identity. That as totally vulnerable children 👶 couldn't help it & we may have so long held onto the trauma feeling WE are deeply flawed unwanted unlovable! Not knowing we can heal until the awareness grows as we mature This is so helpful I'm crying 😭 while I write this So that the therapist lovingly liberating us with this truth gives us the safety support wisdom freedom permission ability to detach a bit really helps us accept & heal ; forgive ourselves (& others ) we are not abandoning the abandoned traumatised inner child yet again ! 👶 but learning to search growing wisdom in self awareness while holding our hurt vulnerable scared hidden inner selves gently & honouring & healing the feelings. Allow them to surface safely & transmute in the safe container. Of OURSELVES our hearts where we will have desperately repeated the original abandonment by repeatedly seeking quite naturally ; others to love us. Who of course mirrors of us in their wounds & self preservation behaviours in THEIR longing for love ❤️ this Perpetually repeating the pain until we hit rock bottom then get messages like this & if we are finally ready & able to hear it ! & Surrender be willing Mature enough to take another gentle step in self healing and self love ❤️ revealing touching yet more deeper layers of our precious selves to patiently gently heal accept & love release the pain like butterflies 🦋to transform into treasure 💎May we all heal to self love acceptance & create loving relationships ❤️ thank you sooo much Alain Robarge deeply grateful to you & all who share these life saving gems 💎 & truths Other really wise healers are Mark Groves who recommended Mona Fairbane 'Vulnerability Cycles ' after which I saw this ! So gratitude to all the fellow healers healing the world 🌎 it's time for global healing Love & hugs 🤗 & all the love everyone ever needed 💝 to every single one of us : our precious beautiful inner child 👶 youth & adult YOU are lovable YOU ARE pure love ❤️ YOU ALWAYS WERE, ARE & ALWAYS WILL BE LOVE ❤️ I LOVE YOU ALL & im learning to love forgive & accept myself. Not just everyone else & deny avoid myself & my needs; courageously embrace feel all the pain still healing. After 58 long years Of trauma & hell! & conscious healing I pray for us all to find inner wholeness & loving relationships 💝. Love inner peace joy I've had a huge breakdown to breakthrough ! & hope it can help others ; by not chasing seeking love from the most recent lesson with yet another sudden in & out broken heart connection. Leaving me Taking it personally again but by making myself NOT contact NOT run after them to throw all my love on them or. Seek validation that I am lovable not thrown away ; but stop craving THEIR love ( which they can't as I healed themselves bless them ) keep reminding FOCUS on heal MY PAIN LOSS GRIEF triggers , wounds etc I've been forced to go deeper be still & feel the feelings on a deeper level. & last night when I was so low gave up in despair 😩 finally accpet the unacceptable that they may never come back. Just as the poor inner child CANT accept as it's survival ! I felt the full pain of loss abandonment annihilation nothingness. Felt 'No love ' totally alone etc. Which was necessary cathartic as I woke with more clarity self awareness of MY issues & pain not projecting onto him then saw The above healers. Which is exactly what I needed at this time. However painful we need to stop running avoiding projecting fantasising longing & Surrender in exhaustion to the very pain we are running from. ! That we of course desperately longing for someone to look after us love us ( parents originally) It happens when we are ready. Bit by bit 💝💎 trust our own hearts WE know how to heal & draw who & what we need every step of the way
Is not the inner child that you abandon but the fake identity that the child grabbed to survive the river of suffering. Your inner child is your real identity, but more vulnerable and cute, not the survival mechanism that was taken to adapt to the painful situation.
Thanks for the feedback and for valuing my work. If you are not subscribed to the channel, please do. Also let your friends know about this video. Thanks.
Amen 🙏. Thank you for this video. Goodbye to Ventura, my persona, my protector, who helped me survive moments of crisis. I am not Ventura, I am Bona. Bona is my real name and not a nickname like Ventura, the name I used my whole adolescent and adult life. Ventura is dead, I will no longer fear the unknown. I will have faith in my God, I can handle change and I will no longer live in fear.
Yes! This is a powerful declaration. Good for you for reclaiming yourself and welcoming Bona in fullness. I'm glad this video spoke to you. Thank you for your comment. Since you like this video, please tag a friend and/or share it with others. Help me spread the word.
I can’t escape from it. My mother left us in foster care I’m a mother now.. she is still alive but never gives love. I have ptsd en derealisation and bpd dynamic in relationship. It’s a endless cycle. The love of my life left me because I push pull and he can’t take it any longer. I want to get rid of it but how. It’s like I’m in a deep hole and the only way out is suicide right now
HAHAHA you pretty much it it on the money, it took me half a life of shell and many adventures to get passed this,I was expected to be a girl in a o girl five boy line,and turned out a boy,not blaming nature or destiny,but I used to be the one left behind in picnics when family packed up and rode off,HAHAHA got used to it,and isolation became a haven, did a lot of good for me,some neg.but all together TAUGHT me a lot.
Hello Subscribers:
Thank you for checking out my videos and posting such thoughtful comments. It's inspiring to read your self-reflections and insights. I love how we grow from each other's sharing. #healingjourney
One thing I have learned after years of reading comments is that we are not alone. Many of us have the same experiences when it comes to relationships. We are all trying to make sense of attachment trauma and learn better skills of relating.
Great job everyone - keep going and keep learning!
As I'm sure you can understand, I'm not able to respond to all the comments and questions here on UA-cam. I know this can be disappointing sometimes. Please forgive me. It is challenging to find the time for the careful consideration that is needed in order to respond to your heartfelt reflections. Even so, your vulnerability shines through.
I know behind each comment is a real person with real feelings who's hurting or who’s reporting a triumph. I know you are doing the best you can while trying to make sense of life’s suffering. We are all grappling with what it means to be human. I’m sorry that I’m not always able to respond to your comments directly.
That being said, I'm sharing this post to offer you a few resources in an attempt for us to stay connected. Keep in mind that I do read most comments here on UA-cam. Your words are received. I review comments daily, which serves as a way to organize content for future videos.
If you have a question or an idea for a video that you think is important to explore when it comes to learning about relationships and healing attachment trauma, then I want to hear about it. Please submit your questions and ideas here: www.alanrobarge.com/questions
______
Many of us want to know how to heal, how to change, how to be more secure in our relationships. This is why I created the course The Four Attachment Distress Responses. #traumahealing
Many of our behaviors in relationships are habitual - meaning we act out of autopilot. Our autopilot Response comes from past conditioning of negative experiences. When attachment injuries go unaddressed, we become insecure in our relationships.
The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course describes each specific type of guardedness, which is how we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, while also attempting to get our attachment needs met.
While we cannot change the past, we can change how we respond in the moment and in the future. This course offers you insights and tools as new ways to respond in your relationships. The Four Responses are Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting. You’re invited to take the quiz to learn more about your Response.
Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz:
www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
______
I created an 8-week program and membership community based on the guiding principle of Self-Directed Healing Work #selfhealers that I want to share with you. The community is called Improve Your Relationships. The focus is about healing attachment injuries in the context of relationship repair in all areas of our lives.
When we look at the big picture of how attachment injuries and attachment trauma occurred in our lives, we are able to begin seeing our relationship choices from a whole new perspective. We gain access to inner resources that shift how we relate and respond to old hurts. It's a process. It's layered. It requires commitment. This is what the community is all about - committing to your healing work.
You are invited to join us. The community members are kind and supportive. We are an established group. The feedback and testimonials have been overwhelmingly positive.
Please check out the link for more information: www.alanrobarge.com/community
______
Also, in addition to checking out my course and/or joining us in the Community, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution. #payitforward
Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality and accessible content. If you benefit from my videos and want to show your support for the value offered, then please make a donation: www.alanrobarge.com/donate
______
Thank you for being a channel subscriber and watching my videos.
And remember, we invest in our healing work because “Emotional Connections Matter!” #healthyrelationships
Best regards,
Alan Robarge
Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist
www.alanrobarge.com
Everytime I get to a healthier perspective and take the glasses off...It happens again and I find myself feeling and thinking all the old abandonment again!! Feels unescapable!
My heart breaks at the idea of letting go of this identity, this identity of abandonment that I've known for the whole of my life. I think I'm in the anger and raging stages of grieving, it feels like such a violation to the fundamental core aspects of who I am. Maybe this is a loosening, I do enjoy the concept of feeling both with logic and reason, and the deeper stirrings of the heart as well. It's such an odd thing to move out of the so-called "comfort zone" of the identities that we are used to inhabiting, it is very fearful and uncomfortable, just as I felt many times as a small child and throughout my life. I don't know if I can trust the process, but perhaps I just need to allow it to happen, there doesn't seem to be any other real choice otherwise. This is some of the most painful and difficult work that I've ever had to do, I am so very angry, enraged, and saddened most of the time. The feelings of violation tear at my core being and leave me heartbroken. I can and will choose to breathe through these feelings, and to acknowledge my mindful awareness about them, it hurts so very much, but I suppose that is what one needs to feel. What a complete undoing of oneself. Ouch
@josephlefthand I'm also going through this and I deeply resonate with your words. I hope that you are feeling better 💛
Jesus Christ thanks for letting me hear this video and leading me here. May Gold Bless Mr Robarge and your family, you have uplifted my soul forever grateful.
AMEN!
I know. I have never had so much insight, validation and ability look forward until Alan. What a blessing he is.
“We make the rafts for the river out of suffering”. I was profoundly impacted, hearing this. That’s what I had done. Your joy and “shine” will return when you step slowly into new places, new hobbies, new challenges, new people. Separating was very hard for me. The challenges I set my sight on helped me get through: completing a 2-mile open ocean swim, and learning how to sail. Mission accomplished! It’s great to feel some joy again.
Wow, that is impressive. Thank you for valuing my work. Glad it delivered inspiration.
Also, since you've found this content helpful, I want to invite you to the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. This is the type of content we gather around in conversations. Learn more here: www.alanrobarge.com/community
In all my romantic relationships I was always so codependent I learned it's from mother and father emotionally and physical abandoning me. I'm ready to move forward. I want a better life.
I'm glad to see that this video sparked reflection for you. This kind of self-reflection is beneficial. Educating ourselves can help us invite relating with others differently. Since you like this content, you might also like taking The Attachment Distress Quiz. Click here: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
How
Its soooo time for me to do this. Your brilliant. Im watching this daily til i shift, ive been stuck in being the hurt one too long
Did u see any improvement?
So well articulated, and constructed, and thorough. This set of 3 videos might be the most intense for me to have absorbed....and most validating.
Thank you Alan. I was abandoned when I was only two months. After watch your video, I am going to change how I look at myself and I represent myself to the world.
Happy to let go of the abandonment, rejection, feeling ignored. Feel like it's coming to final resolution. Discovering the concept of having an attachment trauma has been the missing key to finally freeing myself.
Nice to hear you are finding so much benefit. Thank you for valuing my efforts to deliver quality content.
If you value this content and like learning with others who have a similar focus as you do then you may be interested in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships.
Join us!
www.alanrobarge.com/community
Thank-you! It's a wonderful site for support. @@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma
How to let go how
im only at 2:48 of the video. Stopped to thanks for showing me a different perspective of aproaching my situation. "the identification" of the situation instead the experience of it. Eyes opener words. Thanks brother. (im going on watching the video, but THANKS for sharing your knowledge/experience)
Thank you for the supportive comment. Yes, it's good to bring awareness around these over-identifications. I'm glad to hear this video was illuminating. Thank you for valuing my work. If you'd like to learn how to engage more or support the continuation of my videos check out the options below:
Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz
www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
Check out the Community, Improve Your Relationships
www.alanrobarge.com/community
Make a direct donation
www.alanrobarge.com/donate
Thanks again for letting me know the video was helpful.
This is an amazing channel. Thank you Alan for what you do
I appreciate the kind words. Thank you for valuing my effort. Glad my work brings you benefit.
You're invited to join us in our conversations on this topic in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. www.alanrobarge.com/community
Hey! Are you listening in to my heart and head?! 🤔❤️ this video could literally have been posted just for me. I am right there on my path across the suffering river; floating along on that flipping raft of fear and hurt 🙄 I am blooming ready to get off and grieve. Just listening to you and hearing, who would I be if I wasn’t the “abandoned one”? sparked a physical feeling of grief and fear in itself. I knew this would happen though, I’m ready for the work. I had to free myself from being “the bereaved one” ten years ago and I healed that pain ☺️ I know I can heal the abandonment as well 💪🏻 Alan, thank you for your attachment wisdom, compassion and empathy ❤️ I have never come across so much eloquent knowledge, specific to me in one therapist/professional, over 25 years of therapy and mental health care 🙏 💓
Thanks Alan. Your really awesome and helping me to understand myself and take positive steps forward in my own journey and life. Appreciate your wisdom.
Glad my work brings value. It has taken me years of study and healing process to uncover this insight and explain it to so it is accessible. I appreciate the feedback.
This is also a topic that comes up in conversations in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. I welcome you joining us. www.alanrobarge.com/community
Just seeing your face...makes me smile! Hope your day is Good!!
Thanks for the feedback. Glad to hear you like watching the videos. You may like to consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter to help continue video creation. Thanks again for the supportive comment. Here's the link if you'd like to leave a donation: www.alanrobarge.com/donate
Thank you 🙏
You're welcome.
Thank You Alan, I have learned so much insight and healing info from ur videos, I am thinking of joining the community. Bless you lorraine
But if we abandon our abandoned self isnt it like abandoning the inner child?
I was thinking the same thing. I think having compassion for the abandoned self and validating those feelings of abandonment might be more helpful in creating a space where you can let go of the I am abandoned story/identity.
turkeysub3000 thank you!!!
optimistic nihilist : & these wise replies, yes ; I sense he means it helps us to truly heal : as we simultaneously take a step bsck we also come closer to our inner wounds ; now more able to see it clearly with this new permission acceptance observation & detachment compassion from loving support like Alan to then free ourselves to see more clearly that it's what happened TO us but it's not totally US ! Not our full identity. That as totally vulnerable children 👶 couldn't help it & we may have so long held onto the trauma feeling WE are deeply flawed unwanted unlovable! Not knowing we can heal until the awareness grows as we mature This is so helpful I'm crying 😭 while I write this So that the therapist lovingly liberating us with this truth gives us the safety support wisdom freedom permission ability to detach a bit really helps us accept & heal ; forgive ourselves (& others ) we are not abandoning the abandoned traumatised inner child yet again ! 👶 but learning to search growing wisdom in self awareness while holding our hurt vulnerable scared hidden inner selves gently & honouring & healing the feelings. Allow them to surface safely & transmute in the safe container. Of OURSELVES our hearts where we will have desperately repeated the original abandonment by repeatedly seeking quite naturally ; others to love us. Who of course mirrors of us in their wounds & self preservation behaviours in THEIR longing for love ❤️ this Perpetually repeating the pain until we hit rock bottom then get messages like this & if we are finally ready & able to hear it ! & Surrender be willing Mature enough to take another gentle step in self healing and self love ❤️ revealing touching yet more deeper layers of our precious selves to patiently gently heal accept & love release the pain like butterflies 🦋to transform into treasure 💎May we all heal to self love acceptance & create loving relationships ❤️ thank you sooo much Alain Robarge deeply grateful to you & all who share these life saving gems 💎 & truths Other really wise healers are Mark Groves who recommended Mona Fairbane 'Vulnerability Cycles ' after which I saw this ! So gratitude to all the fellow healers healing the world 🌎 it's time for global healing Love & hugs 🤗 & all the love everyone ever needed 💝 to every single one of us : our precious beautiful inner child 👶 youth & adult YOU are lovable YOU ARE pure love ❤️ YOU ALWAYS WERE, ARE & ALWAYS WILL BE LOVE ❤️ I LOVE YOU ALL & im learning to love forgive & accept myself. Not just everyone else & deny avoid myself & my needs; courageously embrace feel all the pain still healing. After 58 long years Of trauma & hell! & conscious healing I pray for us all to find inner wholeness & loving relationships 💝. Love inner peace joy I've had a huge breakdown to breakthrough ! & hope it can help others ; by not chasing seeking love from the most recent lesson with yet another sudden in & out broken heart connection. Leaving me Taking it personally again but by making myself NOT contact NOT run after them to throw all my love on them or. Seek validation that I am lovable not thrown away ; but stop craving THEIR love ( which they can't as I healed themselves bless them ) keep reminding FOCUS on heal MY PAIN LOSS GRIEF triggers , wounds etc I've been forced to go deeper be still & feel the feelings on a deeper level. & last night when I was so low gave up in despair 😩 finally accpet the unacceptable that they may never come back. Just as the poor inner child CANT accept as it's survival ! I felt the full pain of loss abandonment annihilation nothingness. Felt 'No love ' totally alone etc. Which was necessary cathartic as I woke with more clarity self awareness of MY issues & pain not projecting onto him then saw The above healers. Which is exactly what I needed at this time. However painful we need to stop running avoiding projecting fantasising longing & Surrender in exhaustion to the very pain we are running from. ! That we of course desperately longing for someone to look after us love us ( parents originally) It happens when we are ready. Bit by bit 💝💎 trust our own hearts WE know how to heal & draw who & what we need every step of the way
Is not the inner child that you abandon but the fake identity that the child grabbed to survive the river of suffering.
Your inner child is your real identity, but more vulnerable and cute, not the survival mechanism that was taken to adapt to the painful situation.
This helped me a lot. Thank you and may God bless you.
That. Was. Superb.
Thanks for the feedback and for valuing my work. If you are not subscribed to the channel, please do. Also let your friends know about this video. Thanks.
You are a godsend!!
Amen 🙏. Thank you for this video. Goodbye to Ventura, my persona, my protector, who helped me survive moments of crisis. I am not Ventura, I am Bona. Bona is my real name and not a nickname like Ventura, the name I used my whole adolescent and adult life. Ventura is dead, I will no longer fear the unknown. I will have faith in my God, I can handle change and I will no longer live in fear.
Yes! This is a powerful declaration. Good for you for reclaiming yourself and welcoming Bona in fullness. I'm glad this video spoke to you. Thank you for your comment. Since you like this video, please tag a friend and/or share it with others. Help me spread the word.
Great video!
thanks, glad you like this one. You may also want to check out The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz.
www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
Powerful word of a encouragement
Please write a book!!!
Until then...do you have particular book recommendations?:-)
I can’t escape from it. My mother left us in foster care I’m a mother now.. she is still alive but never gives love. I have ptsd en derealisation and bpd dynamic in relationship. It’s a endless cycle. The love of my life left me because I push pull and he can’t take it any longer. I want to get rid of it but how. It’s like I’m in a deep hole and the only way out is suicide right now
So tough on self, sometimes makes me feel more guilt
Thank you
What do you do when those closest to constantly reminds you that your bad
HAHAHA you pretty much it it on the money, it took me half a life of shell and many adventures to get passed this,I was expected to be a girl in a o girl five boy line,and turned out a boy,not blaming nature or destiny,but I used to be the one left behind in picnics when family packed up and rode off,HAHAHA got used to it,and isolation became a haven, did a lot of good for me,some neg.but all together TAUGHT me a lot.
Are you really asking these questions? I can't believe it! YOU SPEAK MY LANGUAGE...LANGUAGE I CAN REALATE TO AND UNDERSTAND!
resonate
See it?
Some gremlins constancy mess me up in these MEDIAS. Hotly different words from what I wrote,sorry.
Great video!