The Man Who Would Be King | Chapo Trap House
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- Опубліковано 7 тра 2023
- Episode 730 - The Man Who Would Be King (5/8/23)
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Art/Animation by Emily Halaka @emilyhalaka
We cover some breaking 17th century news and look at the race car driving heir to the House of Habsburg, as well as the coronation of King Charles III, for a little modern-day Hell on Earth. Then, keeping with the theme of gratuitous puff-pieces in the Times, we look at “Liz” Holmes attempt to rebrand herself as a gee-shucks everyday mom and family woman ahead of her sentencing for medical fraud. Finally, we catch up on the ever-mounting corruption in the Supreme Court, and what our elected officials will fail to do about it.
The piece about heart transplants Felix mentions in this: www.nytimes.com/2023/04/18/op...
New merch, including Hell on Earth designs and re-stocked Zapata Oil hats, available for order through May 24th here: represent.com/store/chapo-tra...
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I think your average french fry is better than your average sweet potato fry, but your best sweet potato fry is better than your best french fry.
Agreed.
French fries have a higher taste basement and lower taste roof than sweet potato fries.
Lives in his apartment in Vienna WITH HIS SISTER!?!?! Way to keep it real...
Haha. Old habits die hard, man.
Right? I have listened to this episode a few times now, and every time will says "Lives in his apartment with his 22 year old-" my brain fills in 'girlfriend'. Pretty sure I am not wrong
@@justsomehuman7522matt sniffs
15:45 LOL a Habsburg living together with his sister, that's too perfect.
I know Matt was holding back the incest joke with the sigh
1) free the orangutans, empower them to create a council of wise forest apes to serve as the new heads of state for the Commonwealth and UK
2) put the royal family in a zoo
boom, literally everybody is happy with this arrangement.
I'm I the only one who wants the royals to stay around? They've given us classic spoofs and goofs like
1- Mountbatten goes lobster fishing near the Irish Border during the Troubles despite repeated warnings he was going to get whacked out by the IRA South Armagh Brigade.
2- Princess Di goes to Paris.
3- King Charles being hated by everyone, including his parents.
4- That other Prince guy becomes friends with Epstein and claims due to his service in the Falklands, he no longer has the ability to sweat.
5- The ginger prince falls for the Yoko Ono Line; his current wife claims she didn't know who he is when they started dating.
Keep them around; they give us nothing but content and bangers.
Hapsburg siblings living alone together? That tracks. All in the name of tradition, after all.
They're like the European mcpoyles, keeping that bloodline pure
‘Ferdinand wants to go VROOM VROOM! and go around in a circle …!!’
The first thing the doctor said was, "You look like that horrible woman." This story never happened, I doubt there is even a toddler.
facts; no way a doctor would get such an accurate diagnosis on the first guess
My man Ferdinand looks exactly like the hapless hitchhiker from fear and loathing in Las Vegas
Truly amazing how gullible and childlike that professional journalist is in the Holmes article, like my dog is more intelligent ?? Even after her editor told her she got rolled too
Yeah well a critical difference here is that the journalist has actually personally met Holmes, while neither you nor I nor her editor have, so I'm inclined to take her at her word (at least for what that's worth)
Of course at the same time, I can't help but recall how she completely threw everybody under the bus when the whole house of cards came tumbling down so I still don't really have much sympathy for her
@@harrybirchall3308 her opinion is worthless, idk what you even mean. Holmes is a sociopath that tied to scam a billion people...
I find it hard to believe that Mr. Christman doesn't know what an orangerie is.
He knows what a Zerg Rush is though.
I liked when he said Luth Gator Binsbird
@@twistedoperator4422 He utters the phrase "Hussite style arrangement made with German Catholicism" and doesn't know what an orangerie is. It doesn't add up.
@@alistercaddy1208 he knows a lot about history but he's also from Wisconsin
He's been co-opted by Big Citrus, you utter rubes
If you want to have Orange Trees but not actually live in a blistering hell-hole like Spain, you have your minions build swanky root cellars with South-facing windows where they can drag the trees during the snowy seasons. The Orangerie is where you want to be, if you ask me.
Read The Black Spider and you will learn that having minions move any trees for your pleasure is courting the dark prince
the guy's mom is indeed Thyssen as in ThyssenKrupp, but most notably she's Thyssen-Bornemisza as in the Thyssen-Bornemisza Musseum, which used to be her dad's private art collection and is now, i believe, the 3rd largest art musseum in Spain, after the state owned Prado and Reina Sofia. At some point it was largest private art collection in the world other than the one the british royal family owns.
Extremely surprising fun fact: at least one of the paintings there "belonged to a Jewish couple who were forced to give it to the German government in exchange for an exit visa to the United Kingdom shortly after Kristallnacht in 1939".
Big episode for us Cushheads.
I ONLY like him
I laughed hard at the bit about protestants getting the divine interventions over the catholics but would add the addendum that the battle of Lutzen was god telling the protestants to slow down and chill a bit.
🤡
OH MY GOD Yung Ferdinand in the thumbnail *drunk 🇦🇹Austrian🇦🇹 noises*
"Hit dogs will holler"
means the same thing as
"The lady doth protest too much"
i.e. if you react defensively, when no one said the statement was about you specifically, then the statement likely applies to you, too
He should have gone with the classic Shakespeare quote, then. No one likes hitting doggos!
Yes but if you say “the lady doth protest too much” you’re an annoying theatre dork, if you say “hit dogs will holler” you’re an annoying theatre dork *and* an annoying southerner dork.
@Shane
My lad, the people vote for folksy not for Shakespearian
@@shanemac1646
That's not exactly true, Shane. Remember that embodiment of virtue, Whoopi Goldberg, doing the moral relativism dance to defend dog-fighting? For the target audience of the person who made that statement, the brutal abuse of dogs is probably quite a bit less metaphorical than the OP insists.
Is no one else sussed out that the Hapsburg is living with his sister?
Can’t believe I didn’t even notice that, that’s just too funny
It's totally normal for someone to live together with their aunt, I don't know what you're talking about.
@@scraggybeard the harbsburg a known for insest
They definitely snuggle
Keeping the family tradition alive
Will reading the Liz Holmes PR article is my own personal hell.
The Lothringen in Habsburg-Lothringen actually refers to the Lorraine in Alsace-Lorraine. So not only is he a Habsburg, he is a Habsburg related to a duchy that was (one of the) apple(s) of discord between Germany and France for half a century. Major WWI energy.
when is yout 18th booster shot scheduled
@@planetfixer I am saving up booster shots so my whole family can be boosted as well, thank you for asking.
@@planetfixer knowing things is beta bro
@@planetfixer Silvio Dante voice from the sopranos "I love booster shots! I put booster shots in my socks every night so when I wake up in the morning it smells like your sister's crotch!"
I thought it referred to their origins in Lotharingia.
1:01:20 is my new favorite Felix bit
I’m with Matt on the sweet potato fries they suck and fry sweetness - if it’s desired - is properly achieved through application of ketchup.
For me they had a certain novelty factor at first, but like their flavor, it wore off quickly.
With the right curry ketchup, they are delicious.
Liz
*100%*
Killed
Balto
I just hope this King is sane and will finally end England's soft on Ireland policies.
Tiocfaidh ár lard-fingered nonce. ☘
Worth noting that America is currently run by the Irish
@@jugo1944 worse.... the American Irish. Irish but without the magic spells or ability to talk to lessor beasts.
@@fightthepowerman The current Irish ruler of America can't speak to lesser beasts, or in general
@@fightthepowerman We lost our ability to warg, summon banshees or talk to the spirits of the oaks and bogs.
comically incorrect take on sweet potato fries
they're awful
Normal fries are less likely to be a let down but yeah it’s a wrong take
An Orangery, is an indoor orchard, usually citrus. Think of it as an oversized greenhouse, to grow fruit that otherwise wouldn't survive in the climate they're trying to grow them in
Jesus the amount of free time you need to maintain something like that
@@coreygolpheneee That's why they are a status symbol, wealthy aristocrats have servants to do it
Matt speaking truth to power and finally identifying sweet potato fries as an inferior FFO (French Fry Offering)
So the Hapsburgs got the golden fleece precursor artifact from Assassins Creed? Damn. Even the golden fleece couldn't fix the Hapsburg Jaw.
I'm I the only one who wants the royals to stay around? They've given us classic spoofs and goofs like
1- Mountbatten goes lobster fishing near the Irish Border during the Troubles despite repeated warnings he was going to get whacked out by the IRA South Armagh Brigade.
2- Princess Di goes to Paris.
3- King Charles being hated by everyone, including his parents.
4- That other Prince guy becomes friends with Epstein and claims due to his service in the Falklands, he no longer has the ability to sweat.
5- The ginger prince falls for the Yoko Ono Line; his current wife claims she didn't know who he is when they started dating.
Keep them around; they give us nothing but content and bangers.
hell yes business secrets of the pharaohs.
Matt was radicalised by David Mitchell's saopbox
Secret number 1- Marry your sister to keep the bloodline pure. Step 2- Make profit!
They mention Mattis’s role in the Theranos saga. Something I never understood was his obsession with putting a theranos blood testing machine onto an army medevac helicopter. The Bad Blood book describes how this obsession led him to look past any misgivings he may have had about thr company because the potential benefit was just so immense. I don’t get it though. What’s the value of having a blood testing machine on a medevac helicopter? Guys arent being medevac’d because they have diabetes; their concerns are more physical and immediate. Surely the blood testing can wait til they are back at base? It’s just very odd. Does anyone else know more about this?
"We have upgraded our stuff to give our troops access to groundbreaking new medical technology" might have solid propaganda value?
Catholicism with German characteristics
She should have gotten 20 years just saying
not even for theranos just for being rich and going to burning man
And for not being able to watch R rated movies
AND for not opening a bottle of wine until 32
@@zhadom1902 and for probably lying about both those things. Come on you owned a BlOoD CoMpAnY and adrenochrome comes in wine bottles, nice try lady
She gets 10 years good behavior for scamming Kissinger and assorted demons.
Schönbrunn Is a pretty OK zoo, not the most space for their animals in the older parts of zoo as one might expect but quality wacky zoo architecture.
Felix give up that MMA BS and get into racing
I think Liz heard the story of that English train robber guy who ran to Brazil and knocked up a Brazilian woman and wasn't extradited to England cuz of a Brazilian law that they couldn't deprive a child of their father. They changed that law in Brazil like 50 years ago, and still, idiots run down there, knock up Brazilian women, and think they are out of dodge. She thought having kids would get her out of the can... awesome
I think the perception of her having a kid is probably the best example of what the article was getting at. She will be old and there will be more risk involved when she gets out. This is the way to min max time with your child if you ignore the sociopathy of having a kid before you get sent away.
@@Luminousreign complete psychopath to have a kid to try and use as sympathy to not go to prison. Which is 100% what she’s up to
@@shanemac1646 No dude that is the point. Psychopath Sociopath, whatever, she is a bad person on a essential level , we agree on that point. IDK if she did it not go to prison. Not only does that not seem likely as it isnt how anything actually works, she is not avoiding prison this way, but it also assumes she weaponized her feminity in some way. It is equally in the realm of who we agree her to be, that she had the kid before going to prison because she was worried about having one after. Why is it so easier to judge her the other way? the article cant articulate it, but it is a legitimate point.
@@Luminousreign It's easier to judge her the other way because femininity is delicate and unweaponlike. Everybody loves femininity soooooo much that we can empathize with the feminine without justifying it. Prison is a good enough round hole for that square peg.
@@Luminousreign it’s proven that woman get shorter sentences then men for the exact same crimes.
I planted a huge batch of potatoes a few weeks ago. I can't wait till harvest!
You guys obviously haven't tried committing securities fraud with french fries. It's easier than you think.
UTZ has french fries in a can they're pretty good.
Permission to pitch in, been to vienna once, the orangerie is still there next to schonbrunn palace and it is very impressive, perhaps not so much as the palmenhaus but ok, keep the following in mind, many european dynasties set up zoos and collections of exotic plants, it was what was hip at the time and not only that certain of these big projects were supposed to showcase power, since exotic plants and foreign animals were rare for people they were the ideal showcase for power, the message was clear, look at the diversity of minerals animals and plants that your monarch has been able to attain, surely this newfound knowledge and the ability to attain them is indicative of great and worthy power.
every doctor ive met are pro medicare for all.. most just wanna help people.
You gotta be really rich to meet the evil doctors. They identify primarily as golfers.
"they're not even better for you" yes there are lmao
i cant believe will made a moxy fruvous reference
Finally got the show out on time. Kudos
To the curious: "Now I work at the Pizza Pizza" is from the song "King of Spain" by Moxy Fruvous
god that moxy fruvous needle drop
Poor Hapsburgs ❤ lol
1:13 Those French fry principles are potent.
24:48 I saw some video from the coronation. He looks so goddamn sad. He clearly hated every second of it
That is just his normal state of being. He has whined about how hard being a royal is his entire life. They gave him everything he wanted to the point of their being a minor hush-hush delay in the coronation so his mistress could be queen and not queen consort.
I for one welcome our new idle-rich generationally in-bred overlord.
Ms. Holmes doesn’t speak in the throaty contralto anymore, but writer is setting the scene at the most phallic animal display at the zoo.
Or, sometimes a snake is just a snake.
Business Secrets of the Pharaohs is a peek-show reference. Matt gets his politics from David Mitchell's peepshow.
No love for Webb? He is half of peep show.
@@jsdldfsfsdf the book is written by Mitchell's character.
Tbf a racecar is the modern equivalent to a golden carriage.
The Brits paid the Scotts back instantly Lol
What’s up with eps being released on UA-cam before patreon? ❤️
It's called praxis and it's based.
Read Mao.
Couldn’t they be released at the same time? ( I could work on the iPad while listening. Whereas with the UA-cam app, it pauses when I open the specific apps i usually use.) Or, they could be released like…hours apart. I don’t think theres any kind of virtuousness attached to it-I’m only talking about chronology of releasing the episode that’s all. If anything, the reason to have it on UA-cam and not patreon for an amount of time would be to get a more certain & decent amount of ad dollars from UA-cam. I guess it’s diversifying in the smallest way; which I don’t begrudge, I’ve just been curious for a while. I’m glad I figured it out 😜😄👍❤️💖❤️
Punishment for paying for podcasts
Jfc fire that doctor too. 47:33
This kid looks exactly like Stephen Miller
Lol an orangery is a greenhouse for oranges. But since it is a greenhouse for European royalty. It is a greenhouse with the looks and size of a palacial mansion.
Moxy Früvous is some good shit, tho.
You must be a hip substitute teacher 👍
I'm gay
Same
The Democratic Party in the Southern US is one of the least convincing 'work' jobs in Western politics, and that is saying something when you really think about it.
Oh holy crap that Moxy Fruvous drop caught me by surprise.
Oh my God I haven't eaten I haven't eaten in a little while and when I heard Japanese french fry association my brain exploded
Charles 111 is notorious for his handwritten notes to ministers on policy
Doubtless he'll get worse now hes top dog
Chapo guys like thin fries, I don't think I've heard a single good opinion about food on this program.
New York food brain can be a bit of a virus
Oh my God I am naked and I am so not afraid
Are you guys ever going to do a live show from the Democratic People's Republic of Korea? We all love you down here in Pyongyang!
UP here in Pyongyang. A real patriot would never refer to part of the DPRK as geographically lower than the rest of the world.
Highly sus that someone from Pyongyang wouldn't geographically know it is up. Ten years work camp, dongmu!
Juche Gang never knew this scrub..
Speaking as a person who grew up in the US, I would take no US citizens word on sweet potatoes. Americans almost exclusively use normal potatoes. I use both types of potatoes regularly, sweet potatoes are better, taste better, and people not getting that makes me think there is something seriously wrong with their taste buds.
Blacks love sweet potatoes. Are they no longer Americans?
@@condor237 B L A C K S
Sorry, not gonna buy that. I’m convinced spfs were added to the menu so that women could eat fries and still pretend they’re dieting.
Honestly they could’ve skipped the Holmes article. I can’t stand to listen to that
As a man from a french fry family, I agree 1000% with Matt. Sweet potato fries are an ABOMINATION. They are never good.
I’m not following the Holmes case at all
Is there evidence she had no idea what was going on, and was just being told everything worked while acting as figurehead?
Again, not following the case, so I don’t know…
Not really. Some of her emails and texts were incredibly damning.
No, she knew what was going on and didn't care. Multiple people told her, to her face, that her technology didn't work, and she still tried to use it for the public.
Nope she’s as transparent as she is evil.
She's a complete sociopath, she deserves bad stuff it's just that so do 200 other people involved
i'm a little confused about RBG retirement discourse, a big problem was the Republicans weren't letting Obama appoint judges and that being the case I don't see this not being a problem even if she did. Or were people pushing her to retire when Obama could easily have replaced her presumably in the first half of his presidency before we would have known for sure what McConnel was going to pull in with the 2015? nomination.
Yes, people wanted her to step down and be replaced when the democrats had control of that process. Pretty simple
first
Sweet potato always reminded me of that turnip/parsnip mush they put in baby food. Absolutely revolting.
You simply can't beat a good Russet.
I was just thinking of Josiah Harlin