Why MEN CARE about a WOMAN'S SEXUAL HISTORY: what women don't understand
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- Опубліковано 8 січ 2023
- From a woman's perspective, a man's emphasis on her sexual history may be somewhat baffling. After all: that was then, and this is now. What does what I did before we met have anything to do with our current relationship? A lot, it turns out. In this episode, I will help women understand why men tend to place so much importance on women's previous sexual behavior with other men.
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Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
#dating #relationship #sex
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
From a woman's perspective, a man's emphasis on her sexual history may be somewhat baffling. After all: that was then, and this is now. What does what I did before we met have anything to do with our current relationship? A lot, it turns out. In this episode, I will help women understand why men tend to place so much importance on women's previous sexual behavior with other men.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
It's easy. A man does not want his progeny to squeeze through a hole where another mans dick has been. His progeny are similar to the expensive coat that the woman bought.
So basically men only care about smashing and that's it.
What about a woman who has never had sex?
PLEASE EXCUSE MY CAPS I AM DYSLEXIC AND IT MAKES IT EASIER TO WRITE:
*******WHAT DO I THINK? ********
OK I WILL TELL YOU. I HAVE KNOWN MANY JEWISH MEN I LIKE THEM SOMETIMES BUT I THINK YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN YR HEAD AND YOU BELIEVE IT..
THAT IS WHAT I THINK. ONE MORE THING, I THINK THE NONSENSE YOU SPEW IS INSANE. EXAMPLE A WOMAN SAY 25 HAS A FEW YEARS OF EXPERIMENTATION, WHERE SHE HAS BED BUDDIES ETC WHATEVER YOU KNOW, LIKE MEN DO ALL THE TIME THEY CAN.
SO SHE ALLOWS HERSELF TO TRY SOME THINGS, THEN COME TO WHATEVER SHE COMES TOO.
NOW IS WANTING TO HAVE SOMETHING DEEP BECAUSE SHE HAS TRIED THIS AND THAT AND NOW KNOWS HERSELF AND WHAT SHE WANTS AND EVEN KNOWS WHY. BUT ACCORDING TO YOUR VERY JEALOUS, DEVALUING PHILOSOPHY. YOU WILL NEVER FORGIVE HER.
THIS IS VERY TYPICAL CONTROLLING DEVALUING NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR THAT MANY MEN DISPLAY AND COMES FROM AN IMMATURE JEALOUS TYPE OF MEN AND THE MANY CONTRADICTION INSECURE MEN HAVE IN THEIR INTEGRATED PERSONALITY AND THAT IS GIVE YOURSELF QUICKLY TO ME THEN TRY TO CONVINCE ME YOU DID NOT DO THAT WITH OTHER MEN, BE MY SLUT AND PROVE YOU ARE NOT ONE TO OTHERS.
MEN LOVE TO STAND IN JUDGEMENT OF WOMEN ABOUT SEX BUT A WOMEN WILL NEVER KNOW HIS HISTORY INCLUDING WHAT HE DOES WHEN HE IS WITH HER,MARRIED OR NOT..
MEN HAVE TWO STANDARDS , ONE THEY EXPECT FOR WOMEN AND THE ONE THEY HOLD FOR THEMSELVES AND OTHER MEN..
IT IS JUST A TRICK MEN PLAY ON THEMSELVES IN ORDER TO TRICK THEMSELVES INTO THINKING THEY ARE SPECIAL WHEN IN FACT THEY DO NOT THINK THEY ARE, THEY ARE VERY INSECURE REALLY.
IF THEY CAN SCAPE GOAT THE WOMAN THEN THEY WIN AND A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO CARES ABOUT YOU GET TO DEVALUED AND YOU WALK AWAY FEELING SO SUPERIOR WHEN IN FACT, YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER ABUSER AND NOT GOOD RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL TO START WITH BUT YOU CONQUERED ANOTHER ONE, SHE HE, YOU FEEL SOOO GOOD ABOUT IT.
I WOULD SUGGEST DEALING WITH THE YOUR MOMMY ISSUES RIGHT AWAY AND PROB YOUR FATHER WOUNDS AS WELL BECAUSE MEN GET THIS CONFUSION FROM SOMEWHERE AND THAT IS WHERE IT WOULD MOST LIKELY BE..
BLESSINGS ANGELA FAITH RELATIONSHIP SPECIALIST, ARTIST AND HEALER IN MONTANA
Sex is enough. If you expect a woman to take it in the rectum if she’s never done that before and is hesitant about it, you are perverted. If you expect a girl whose a virgin to give you a blow job and she’s never done that before and is hesitant, you are perverted. The woman’s body was designed to only take penetration in one place, and without contraception that leads to babies.
If she’s done those things above before and is comfortable doing them with you then go for it, you’ve found a girl of low self-respect who is willing to let you degrade her. If your fetishes match then fine do what you want. But if you expect a girl with little or no previous sexual experience to become your favourite porn actress, the porn you’ve been watching has skewed your expectations and you’re going to hurt a girl. You have a choice.
An underrated point is that a man wants to feel desired and special. He wants to feel that a woman has had many men trying to pursue her and she chose to be intimate with him while rejecting everyone else. In return, a man values her and wants to expend resources and wants to protect her. It’s impossible for him to feel this way when he knows that he’s just one of many.
I agree with that
what about only romantic past relations with no sex?
@@deadbeats4417 Men typically don't care about a woman's past romantic relationships if there was no sex involved.
A man looks at it this way: Sex is the most physically intimate act you can do with another person, therefore, it is the highest reward. If my girlfriend/wife had tons of boyfriends and never did anything sexual with them but she is sexual with me, then she must think that I am better than her past boyfriends.
@@James-pl5uc That's not necessarily true, sometimes ex boyfriends pressure them into sex and then with you they no longer want to make that mistake again, it has nothing to do with the man, us women if we like a man we will want to be romantic with him more than sexual, sexual things usually come from a pressure to please the man, for example, it was her first boyfriend and she kept on being pressured and then she gave in because he became upset, there's lots of manipulative men out there who do that, not all of them of course. However if she was having sex left and right with a different man every weekend then yeah that's on her.
@@James-pl5uc and It's actually the opposite with us, if we truly like a man we tend to hold off on sex more, because we don't want him to view us as a whore, we want him to take us seriously, sex is not a necessity for us as it is for men. Some women may be different but usually those women have a non monogamous mindset, like if she sleeps with men left and right, then she's more likely to just want sex.
I walked away from marriage because I felt like she was indifferent to me. No matter how painful it is and no matter how difficult it is, I agree with the sentiment that I want someone to want me, not to settle
Exactly. F that.
😂
....Shouldn't that been what you were looking for before marriage my guy? And also, didn't you take vows to stay till death? I don't give you any point for this. Sucks, but just like I tell women, you made your bed, you're suppose to lie in it.
@@drjonesey5 so you're saying I'm supposed to just accept a shity fate instead of making my life better like I have. All right loser lol
@@drjonesey5 Maybe he didn't realize this at first until he found out about her past devotion to her ex?. Don't do the ole" till death do us apart to anyone else" other than yourself.
This is the most sober, knowledgeable and polite way to explain why a self-respecting man doesn't want to invest into a relationship with the town bicycle.
Why do men always feel the need to sl_tshame woman? Do you get a b0ner from talking down to woman and calling them lifeless things? You don't deserve a virgin or a woman in that regard at all.
only the village idiot wants to keep the town Bicycle
lol at town bicycle
I saw an interesting "experiment" once with college girls., Guy was asking them if their boyfriend had any reason to be upset about the fact she did stuff with other men that she doesn't do with them., They all said no, it's in the past.
Then he asked how she would feel if she learns that her boyfriend used to give out expensive gifts to his ex girlfriend as if it was candy and they all said, i'd be disappointed or upset.
Likewise guys who have had a lot of women or hookers can also be a turnoff
@@lizrain2210 A friend of mine told me the same thing and said she didn't want someone who's "been through the grinder". Then a few months later she casually mentioned she'd hooked up with this guy in our group who's notorious for being the biggest fuckboi we all (both the guys and gals) know.
@@gasphynx There are people who say stuff that they actually mean and there are others who don't, like the one you mentioned, that doesn't straight away mean that when someone is genuinely expressing their opinion and what they do in their own life and their pov here on the internet, should not be translated into the people we meet in real life in our own experience, because people are different and we can cross-over on things, opinions and lifestyles.
For example, you can't go around saying every human in this world in any country who eats eggs is a type A kind of person, that's delusional and not true and very far from any facts.
In the end it's actions that speak louder.
& over the internet anyone can be from another country and their native language could also be not English and so on and so on, so what's normal in your country or your experience will not equal and be the same as other people from other countries in this world.
if women didn't have double-standards, they wouldn't have ANY standards
But it was in the past tho...
The fact that a psychologist had to make a video to prove this point, should tell you some thing about the society that we live in
Can you elaborate a bit?
@@toddpacker1015 Modern day society, particularly in the western world, has degraded so much morally and sexually that something as fundamental and simple as the value of a woman's virginity to a man has to be elaborated upon by a psycho analyst.
@@dennissvistun922 Got it. Yeah a woman's purity, virginity and youth have always been important the entirety of human history
A woman drops one egg a month a man produces millions of sperm in one day so one man could populate the entire world in a matter of months. And a singlar woman may only in reality carry only very few.
How to say, we dont want a liar or a whore in so many words.
"The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."
That's so true they they that in the FBI human behavior unit. But don't tell that to women.
True for men as well. We need to worry about men’s sexual history as well. That is why society introduces a blood test prior to marriage, fathers were tired of burying their previously chaste daughters who died of syphilis and the babies had problem too. Then there is the HPV that causes Cervical Cancer. Men need to be just as discerning, condoms do not protect u against all STD’s.
True and if men have baby mama's, time to hit the road too. It's a dual lane road too, men need to be assessed by their behavior as well.
What is the source of this quote?
@@rachelmcclain5367 Broadly, psychology. People become set in their ways between 20-25 years old. Behavior patterns hardly ever change and mistakes made early in life haunt you as long as you live because they usually have lasting biological and especially neurological effects.
"Interrogate Your Partners: Their Past is Your Future" by Sam Vaknin is a good video on the subject.
I am a 22 year old virgin committed to waiting for marriage… men & women will waste other’s time & energy if you let them! Stay smart out there ladies & gents ❤❤❤
Virgin (nowadays more than ever) means ,,quality person'', especially if you have/had options and refused.
Same here!! I am 22 year old virgin male due to religious reasons. Great to see other people doing the same thing. 🙏🏻👍🏻
No one ever talks about the visual-mental aspect of knowing what someone you’re with/attracted to has done. It’s a shitty feeling seeing some of these stories play out in your mind, especially if the girl comes across as innocent and reserved. Hopefully others can relate
The reality is this, sleeping with someone before marriage causes nothing but problems for everyone.
Insightful. Thank you
And many of them are masters of appearing innocent and reserved.
@@Evermore2017why do Men keep doing it then?
@@danmcqueen5295OR maybe they ARE ACTUALLY reserved, not pretending, but like occasional intimacy and bc She's 23, She's had a couple mates already and You don't like that so instead You smear Her as a loose Woman in Your mind? Lol! Whatever. Continue to police Women's bodies so We can continue to show Y'all that We just don't care what Men think about Women's bodies and sexual pasts anymore (unless the poor dear is still stuck in Male Worship within Her own mind).
The young Women are waking up (the old ones too) and they're not getting married or having Kids so how You're going to attempt to force Women back into those little archaic patriarchal boxes Y'all are so comfortable with Us being in WITHOUT mass violence, I just don't know. I'm sorry but it's not going to work. What leverage do Men even have over a young Woman who doesn't desire marriage or Children? Without violence, a worthy incentive, or financial/housing manipulation, it will either be on Our terms or there wont be many opposite sex relationships at all.
Let's see who can last without sex, marriage, cohabitation, and relationships LONGER, shall We? We ALL know that the Men will fail and cave to Our demands that they upgrade themselves in all areas, become better human beings, and see Women as their own entities instead of mere extensions or reflections of themselves. You Guys are seriously only just dragging this process out... No kitty from good Women until Men fix their mentalities. ONLY used kitty from horrible Women will be available for Y'all to run thru❤ ah! The future has never been brighter, fellas❤
I think there are other even better analogies.
1) A woman who finally get proposed by her man after 8 years of relationship, then one day she discovers that in the past her new fiancee proposed to all of his exes after not even half the time.
2) Another woman always wanted to travel the world with her boyfriend and do big romantic stuffs but he always found an excuse not to and she could only get him to do small week end trips once or twice a year. Then one day she learns that he used to take his exes to Paris, Tokyo, Dubai, Venice and have dinner dates with them on the Nile river in Egypt.
I can guarantee in both cases the girls will feel devalued, disrespected, unloved and will have he right to be upset...but if we use women's logic, it was in the man's past and he doesn't owe her big gestures and expensive trips to flatter her ego right ?
In other words, one party gets the "privilege" of investing more time and energy into a committed relationship and ends up getting LESS than and treated WORSE than casual encounters that never had to invest anything. And when the disgruntled person raises the issues to the other person (really, the woman in most cases): "What are you: entitled?" No reciprocity and you're just expected to take it. If you helped a friend multiple times and your friend never helped you with something, could you really call that person a good friend?
Another example:
1) Imagine a woman that gets proposed by the man she loves with an amazing wedding ring.
Then one day, she learns that the same ring (or a ring like the one she has now) was given to the man's last 4 girlfriends before her.
1) A man who proposes to you after 8 years really doesn't want you. You're just a placeholder.
2) How does this compare with multiple sexual partners? Also we don't know the dynamic he had with his exes or how his finances or career was back then. Are you saying that having sex with multiple men means that sex with you is just fleeting? Then it means you and your woman have no true emotional bond at all. I thought you all said sex with another woman outside of marriage doesn't really mean anything? It's just sex right? What scares you is that you can't use sex as a tool of emotional manipulation.
Why did you leave this comment, you're going off on a complete tangent that is different from the topic of the video?
If a man has been hurt by past experiences where he invested a lot of time/money/effort - then it's anyone's guess as to how he's revised his vulnerability to exploitation.
those are very good analogies
Relationships are a psychological adventure. They can tear you up.
It can be the best thing you’ve ever experienced or the worst nightmare
Love is a mental disease that everyone seems to want to catch.
@@zhhrah Absolutely. Sometimes it's with the same woman.
💯
Or they can lift you up!
Personally it goes deeper than this for me. Her past tells me everything I need to know about her decision making skills. A woman’s words rarely align with her actions, so her past is the only marker I have to go by. More importantly, who she submits her body to and the rarity of her submission is what makes a man feel special. If she submits her body non discriminately then there is absolutely nothing valuable about the gift of her submission.
THIS.
If your penis is bigger than her EXs, it doesnt matter what she allowed her EXs to do to her, because you will mark her in a masculine way that her EXs never could
Agreed
Well said!
Epic!
It's all about the "settling" thing. Never, ever, ever be with a woman who "settles" for you because the guy she really wants got away. You will regret it later on.
If a woman has past relationships which ended, and is now with you, it's highly unlikely that she still really wants this other guy she is no longer with. She could still be settling for you though, women are under a lot of pressure to settle. Doesn't mean it isn't love or can't be a good relationship.
@@mariemunzar6474 If a woman previously had sex with a top 10% man i.e. someone extremely tall, handsome and rich she will likely resent the man she had to settle for. This is pretty much every man's fear...
Men and women are very different. A lot of men will happily have sex with women they are not even that attracted to - just so they can have sex.
Thats what ALL AGE GAP RELATIONSHIPS ARE ABOUT 😂
@@mariemunzar6474it's sad how many women will settle for an old man just for cash, it's like prostitution at that point!
@@stacyjohnson9685that’s exactly what most are on, but they call it other things.
That made sense, it was well explained. I think there is another component: men are assessing your sexual loyalty to them. Your past is an indication of your future loyalty. If a women is not sexually loyal any child born to her risks being from another man. Few pains are as intense as discovering you have been raising another man's child.
Women often feel the same about men
@@lizrain2210 You will never risk the pain of discovering you are not the biological parent of the child you are raising because your partner cheated on you secretly. It is considerably less important to women, still important, but a husband's infidelity is a different order of risk from a wife's.
@@markaurelius61 You dealt with that in the correct way. Yet their kind will forge a way to victimhood
@@markaurelius61 no, we just risk the pain of learning that our spouse was unfaithful by finding out he's fathered a child with another woman.
@@littlemissprickles Funny how women only care about this question when they get questioned or told that their past matters to men and speaks to them.
Clearly tells everyone, what matters to whom.
Perennial victims.
Another point you didn't mention: Men are hard wired to compete against other men and they don't want to be with other men's rejects. At work or social gatherings they don't like the thought of bumping into random men who slept with his wife/gf.
Yep, good point here as well. Men are nauseated by the idea of another man even touching their female, so running into a guy who's even so much as seen his girl naked is going to upset him. Women really seem to struggle to understand how big of a deal this topic is to men.
A woman wouldn't reject a man? A woman wouldn't bump into another woman her bf/husband rejected?
Women dont want to do that either!! Women have high anxiety when it comes to mating competition!! Not only men!!
Other men's rejects 😂
@@chercher304
Agreed but there is a slightly different dynamic going on. Women tend to get insecure and threatened about their man when near a woman he's slept with but don't feel he is lower value because of his past, it might make him more desireable.. Converesly men feel disgusted knowing their woman has been with multiple other guys and it makes him feel like she's a lower value (cheap, dirty) woman especially if what she had were mostly multiple casual no-commitment sexual relationships.
It comes back to what Dr. Taraban was talking about "discount codes."
I am a guy who wants a family and a stable family. I don't even understand why you would have sex with anyone you are not married with or intend to marry.
Finally someone with morals who doesn't want to piss and pool in the gene pool and complain about how muddy the swamp is.
@maam-yj8ph precisely. If I am saving myself for marriage why would I want your member to be in every nook and cranny you can find. Why is it only men are supposed to be grossed out by gugh body count? I'm grossed out with you and the double standard.
You are the highest value man there is Jay, don't listen to other men, treat people how you wanna be treated and look her in the eye and see if she looks back ❤
Yeah thanks. I have been married 34 years and have 2 adult children, both married as well. To order my life like that just makes so much sense to me. @@stacyjohnson9685
There are tons of women out there that have very low morals😒therefore the moms that raised them have low standards as well.
What a difference a few decades make. 30 years ago, during the AIDS epidemic, disclosing past sexual partners was a *requirement* for responsible young people, and people were a lot more deliberate about who they had sex with.
>>disclosing past sexual partners was a requirement for responsible young people
@@alexmuenster2102 The sex of the person, whether or not it was unprotected sex, and how long ago.
@@Zzyzzyx And what GOOD would such a vague discussion be? "I had a girlfriend six months ago. Then I caught her cheating with Chad Thunderstroke, so we broke up." What ACTIONABLE info is there in that admission? Do you assume he's "safe?" Do you demand testing?
@@alexmuenster2102 You consider that all the various partners in this scenario might have AIDS and you act appropriately. For example, you and your prospective partner both get tested. If the tests are negative, you have safer sex (with condoms, etc). Then after 6 months, you test again, and if you trust one another, you can have less-safe sex.
It was completely normal in the early 90s for responsible young adults to get an AIDS test for every new partner, and to be very careful about safer sex. (condoms, etc).
That's the world I grew up in. Required disclosure. Assume lying. Test to be sure about infection. Check references and former dates for people left out of the list. Equal by gender with no double standards.
Perfectly said 👌 Key point for the women: the more you talk about the other men you've been with, the more your perceived value drops and the less likely you are to get a commitment
Or lose the commitment you had. But what's worse that blabbing about past men is lying. There is no getting over that.
What kinda nut job person, man or woman blabs to their current partner about how fab their past partner (s) were? That’s just weird!
@@elsagrace3893 For those women who have bought into the Feminist belief system wherein it's "empowering," it's perfectly logical to boast about it (like the most stupid or immature men might do.) But a far greater group share this information with enough other women, that it inevitably finds its way back to their partner. In any case, I consider jammering about your ex to be the mother of all red flags, because it points to nearly everything I find unattractive.
@@elsagrace3893 right?
Goes both ways. Slutty men are low value.
I don't know what's worse... knowing or not knowing.
not knowing, since it's less respectable than if you knew
If you're having great sex with her it won't matter what she did with others.
knowing ,, because then you can make an informed decision about how you want to move forward
One important thing omitted in the video is the the number of past partners decrease the chance a woman will want to settle for a long term relationship in the first place, unless she's already reached the age she starts getting desperate about it.
So it's not quite that you pay twice for half the value, you GAMBLE twice for half the value.
I know someone that just turned 40 and now is ready to settle down 😂😂😂😂.
Recently spending time with a few women in their late 50's and early to mid 60's has me wondering if they ever reach a point where they realize that their constant chatter and interrogation isn't the most desirable thing they can offer. The youngest one of them also enjoyed comparing me to her ex. Complementing me for staying fit and adding "but so has he..." I'm enjoying my peace this winter with few obligations and no games.
@@bsom12som1 It's a woman thing.
They don't realize that when it comes to men it's perfectly fine to shut the fuck up if you don't have anything worthwhile to say.
Among women it'd appear that trying to keep a conversation going is some prerequisite for good social skills or something.
@@bsom12som1 It's interesting to read this. I find it unfathomable that women (or men for that matter) talk on and on about past sexual experiences. No wonder so many people can't be bothered with relationships any more.
Not only sexual experience but anything goes, it seems. One of those women took great pride in all the work she'd done to overcome her past trauma (which she immediately divulged in great depth)😢 As if that wasn't enough of a red flag, when I shared something that had occurred in my past relationship, she quipped that I should seek therapy. Maybe that's true but I feel it's an individual choice, not to be prescribed by a potential partner or casual acquaintance.
It's not just about how it makes men feel. It's also about the fact that women who had very many partners are also less capable of bonding with any particular man. If a man wants a stable relationship, a woman who has proven in her past that she's quick to move on at the first sign of trouble is not someone he can rely on to stay for long.
Humans do not ''pair bond'', only certain bird species do.
@@TGP109 You have a very narrow view of what "bonding" means. Just because we're not compelled chemically to do so, doesn't mean we can't bond in other ways. And women who jump from partner to partner every few months are definitely just junkies who are incapable of deep connections that go beyond those chemicals, and are hence not worth a man's attention if he's looking for more than casual sex.
And through your objection I guess we know what category you fall into.
That makes sense. I have this friend who is very attractive and women usually throw themselves at him within the same day they meet him. Then I've seen those same women have the highest standards for some other guy after my friend ends up using them for sex. These other guys need to touch the sky to get the women to be interested yet these women had no standards when it came to my friend.
Good point. That is why I am so annoyed by women who say things like, "I was very uncomfortable with that 'creep' looking at me at the gym." Most of those same women who were so 'uncomfortable' about the 'creep' would gladly spread their legs for a man of higher status who showed any interest at all. I just wish women were honest about this.
If your friend was a Chad, then he has the highest sex market value for a man, so they are actually elevated by sleeping with him, it's good for their social status. She is actually giving up power by sleeping with an average guy. Especially when they are in their teen years and 20s, that's when a females vagina has the most power. That's why they need that guy to do a lot of things for them to believe it's worthwhile when they sleep with him. It's pretty simple once you understand the way the sexual market works.
@@JohnSmith-ct5jd it’s called being attracted to someone. Now I see your point when women call men „creeps“ when they’re not attracted to them and that’s not fair. But women are not obligated to sleep w Someone they’re not attracted to simple as 🤣
@@talkingtomycamera4349 I have no argument with you on that. But I think we both agree that "creep" is apparently code word for "man of low status whom I am not attracted to." I just can't stand the false modesty of women who claim to hate being stared at. They only mind it if they don't like the guy. Thank you for your reply. Peace.
Tf you mean using them for sex? He's not using them. They are not products and are willfully having causal sex with him. Who loses or gains value after encounter is another thing. Your friend is very attractive according to you. It's common sense that the woman who sleeps with him will demand more from an average man since he can't meet the same standards as your friend.
Also, would you like to tell me how your friend is attractive? I mean, is he attractive in terms of looks, wealth, and what type of personality he has?
Thank you so much for telling it like it is. So many people are afraid to awknowledge these simple facts because for some years they have become too PC and beat around the bush that what you do is so unbelievably refreshing to hear!
As a virgin woman myself, I would like to add a few things:
1. You know when you are a good, single man and you keep hearing from women: "All men are the same!" or "There is no good men out there! " It's annoying isn't it?? You feel so invisible. You know these women keep choosing bad guys while ignoring you, a good guy.
You know what? Those of us women, who are virgins, loyal and not promiscuous feel exactly the same. You keep complaining over bi*ches, yet ignoring us, who are not. It hurts. We get treated like we are all the same, while we are not. While we might be in a 20 or 10%, we do exist.
2. If you are a single guy, looking for a wife and you are not a virgin, DO NOT DARE to complain while are there so few virgins. It's because of YOU. YOU are the problem. If you, men, want chaste women, you yourself have to stay chaste as well.
3. If you happen to get with a virgin woman, DO NOT DARE to think you get to take her virginity before marrying her. Traditionaly it was in fact your job to protect her dignity and make sure that you two are not having sex prior marriage. Why? If it doesn't work out between you two, then there are less feelings hurt and she still has virginity for her future husband.
Men want virgins who are also sexually confident and freaky. Make it make sense 😂 The guys in this comment section are lost.
This is all coming from a man
1. You said it yourself. You’re in the minority. Give it time, men will see your value.
2. Fair but also not exactly the same.
The same argument can be that Women want men who are taller. But how can men be taller when the majority of women are shorter? Over time, there’ll be shorter and shorter men without a tall mom to increase the hight of men.
Women like what women like based off of instincts and so do men.
But I agree that men shouldn’t take the virginity of women unless they mean to be in a relationship.
3. I agree. Ladies, don’t open your legs unless you get some commitment. Otherwise you’re kidding yourself.
Well said, and God bless you.
@@kurisari1937 no they dont want freaky women
Woah, peg me baby *butthead laugh* What a keeper.
Women should do a criminal and child support background check on men before the second date.
THIS.
Actually, get his full name, and do it before the first -- in some communities, your chances of dating a felon are ONE IN THREE.
@@hymnodyhands By all means do, behaviour matters for all people irrespective of sex and gender and past behaviour (especially recent past behaviour) is the best thing you have to screen people. A guy that got a DUI at 20 and is now 10 years clean is a thing and might get a pass from me, a guy that got a DUI last week is another. Some things probably never really go away, like I don't care if the last body you buried was in the '80s, you are still a murderer and I don't want you around me.
You wish girls
@@Michael_the_Drunkard nah, you wish. I don't actually waste time on males 😂🤡
I never thought of it in this way, but of course, it makes perfect sense. It's never a bad thing for men and women to understand each other better; keep em coming Doc!
Not your fault in thinking of it this way. You're not a man.
Yeah tbh he isn't very good at bringing his point across either. Comparing woman to expensive coats and discounts 👎👎👎. Very disrespectful. There is a comment who brings that much better across with behavior towards Ex-Girlfriends.
It's videos like this that are shining reasons why I subscribe to you. You articulate my thoughts and understanding through my pickup experiences way better than I can think it through on my own (something I am actively working on!). Thank you for making these concepts so verbally clear and understandable.
When I asked about their past, "It's in the past and don't want to talk about it", I started to draft away little by little.
Women also come damaged after so many experiences.
Women can only bond through their feeling toward a guy, and turns out she’s had exciting experiences with all sorts of guys, it’s like she’s desensitized, and can’t bond.
I think they call this “Alpha widowed” meaning her past had guys she did freaky things with, now you’re getting her, and she dismissive avoidant with her attachment style toward you.
She makes you work extra hard for what she gave away for free before.
Those memories stay with her, and pull at her subconsciously, and you’re constantly on some sort of scale as to how you measure up, and if you’re the best available option.
It goes on in her mind regardless due to her promiscuous past.
Mind you they’ll keep doing that as they get older and don’t look as good yet the standard go up because of how damaged they got . But the value of her beauty is less
Stop listening to George Miller, aka Rollo Tomassi, he's a charlatan. The study he got that from indicates that men also get "damaged" by sleeping around too much. IOW's, divorce rates are more indicative of mental and emotional disorders than gender differences.
@@TGP109 stop defending hoes, no one wants them
How do you keep them down on the farm once they have seen Karl Hungus?
Yeah my gf is alpha widowed and she treats me like shit
Although the content of this video sounds very retro, I agree with you. The truth is that it also works the other way around. I can't deal with a man who has had many realtainships and stories. This kind of guy doesn't make you feel special at all.
Yes
Lies. The more girls he gets the more special you feel.
Men like that usually don't hold a grudge about it.
Most know they are damaged goods.
You may be right up to a point, but I have also heard that the presence of female companions in a man's life makes him more interesting to a woman. His other friends are like a vote of confidence. On the other hand if a woman has male companions a man will easily see her as too open to other men.
@@ngpdreamteam2k4 nailed it. If he can get so many women and he’s with you, it’s flattering.
Very enjoyable to listen to. Brilliant and articulate, without the drama and immaturity of other channels in these spaces. Please keep it up.
This is why I have always preferred the old-fashion way of courtship. Men who have been in multiple long-term relationships that may or may not include cohabitation really turns me off. People really need to save all that stuff for when they're married and not give it away before. When they do, they just keep raising the bar for themselves to prove to the new person that they're serious. This is why people in such relationships find it hard to keep a good relationship. They give too many reasons for the next person to doubt and to feel turned off.
Wow!!!! I have never heard this issue described as clear, accurate to how I see it and true to the overall experience. It was done with exceptional balance and insight and took into account, both sides. Thank you..
This is excellent. I can show this to people in the future. Excited to see your channel grow.
The logical conclusions and real world comparisons you use are so clear and concise. God bless you
Your use of illustrations is EXCELLENT! It really makes the point! Thank you 🎉
they dont want to "give it up easy" when they aren't attracted to the dude. When the man is "hot," they THROW SEX at him in an attempt to get a relationship.
That's chick logic 101. If the woman you are with didn't try to USE SEX to get a relationship out of you, she doesn't find you attractive.
This 👍
Exactly! The hot guy has the highest sexual market value. It's a win for them if they can convince him to date them. It elevates their social status too. They can brag to their friends, post pics all day on social media to make other females jealous. It's a consistent ego boost. And we know how insecure the majority of these females are.
It's the opposite.............m
No... some of us are past middle school hormones... some of us are thinking about things such as the darn near fifty years of AIDS and other deadly STDs and thinking, "No matter how hot he is, HE IS NOT WORTH MY LIFE." Some of us have observed the arrogance and abusiveness of the guys with good looks and weak characters from middle and high school and said, "Nope. Not worth it." At some point, you gotta stop trying to sex baby chickens and learn about WOMEN...
@@hymnodyhands exactly :)
I remember Dr. Phil said it concisely: Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.
Dr Phil is the LAST person anyone should take advice from. And people change and grow, sayings like this assume people just remain the same their whole lives, that is so false. People's past is their past, it makes them who they are in the present but does not define them as a person. Why is everyone so simple minded, like people can't see the bigger picture.
@@mstyles2667 kind of a weak argument cause an addict has a higher chance to go back to addiction than a person who hasn't had that addiction. Not say what you're saying is completely false, people can change. But probability is always better than looking at the possibility.
@@mstyles2667 There is no bigger picture. it's an insult to a man's ego to make an effort to be with a woman who in the past has been with men who didn't make as much of an effort. It makes us feel cheated and is pretty simple to understand really.
Also, a woman's sexual value (fertility, youthfulness, etc.) diminish with age.
What? she had sex with a man? Isn't that what you want from her?
This was the best description that I have ever heard. Thank you so much for articulating this in such an intelligent manner and taking the words right out of my mouth and the thought right out of my mind and you said it a hundred times better. This was always a challenge to make women understand from a man's perspective and you did it perfectly. Bravo Thank you brother 👏👏👏🙏🙏
this is wild. young men and women are so lucky you make these videos. you're saving so many people who see your videos from the despair i experienced in youth. i'm in awe.
Guys only care about a woman's sexual past when a marriage/LTR is being considered. It's common knowledge that promiscuous women will lie about (or omit) their sexual past, so when a guy strongly suspects a woman is being deceitful about her past the chances are he'll have no qualms about using her (for sex) and then discarding her at a suitable moment.
💯
Absolutely true! I thought I found a lady that had the potential for an LTR, and she kept telling me that she was hoping for the same. But when I found out she was a retired 304, I ghosted her without warning! At that point, Even a 5min. conversation with her was a waste of time! I found out She lied about parts of her past, I'm gone! Lesson learned!
@@lobsterbisque7567 how did you find out?
@@deadbeats4417 I was fortunate enough to get a hold of ppl who had known her for decades, and they are still friends with her. It turns out they warned other guys that she's dated in the past. Shortly into the relationship, she let her mask slip, and some of real character showed long enough for me to notice as well.
What about a situation when newly met girl tells me everything about her sexual past? (And it's disgusting)
This is brilliant explanation. This is well put together argument, done so with pure reasoning and rationale.
This channel is a gold mine. Thank you for what you do. Explaining in simple, easy ways things that I could never explain (or even understand) myself. All the best Orion
i once had a debate with a group of girls about body count, but i lost.
they keep saying
-"that is insecurity, your problem"
-"u can have a high bodycount and it doesn't matter in the present as long as she loves u"
-"it's like we are talking to a mormon"
-"they shouldn't matter"
stuffs like that. but the irony is, when a someone in the girl group was dating a guy, and they found out the guy had around a hundred body count, they act disgusted. yup, it's the world that we live in
100 is a lot though. Whereas a woman who has had 15 over a 25 year period may be reasonable
The truth in why they are wrong and you are correct should be your response to their:
"u can have a high bodycount and it doesn't matter in the present as long as she loves u".
The answer is in a woman's pair-bonding capacity. The hormone oxytocin controls it and is literally creating new neural pathways with each guy she is with. She ends up less capable of forming a strong bond with you.
Think of it as the hormonal-neural equivalent of a stampede carving out a beaten path through harsh terrain.
The correct answer to that is:
"I want to invest a lot of time, emotions and resources for a partner I love. With so much at stake, I cannot afford for her to take all of this and then go off and fuck someone else. Since I cannot know a person's future behavior, I have to work with what I have to make a choice, and that's her past. Even if she says she loves me and has changed, I don't know her and I cannot just trust her word for it, so I'll just go for a woman who has no such past"
I guarantee that anything they might say to that will be fallacious. If you want something serious you must be careful in who you choose.
@victoriaogunsanya9074 no it is not reasonable. 15 guys and none committed?
The problem with arguing this issue with women is they keep the subject of the argument centered on the instinctive belief that men and women are perfectly identical in value when it comes to sex...
In other words, the value men place on sex and an "unused" woman is not perfectly reciprocal in what women want in a man in this area... therefore, they can't possibly relate to a man's mindset and manner of thinking on this because they aren't men and (therefore) have an entirely different set of requirements a man must have for themselves.
When they say you are "insecure", "it doesn't matter" and "it's like we are talking to a Mormon" they actually saying all the things they'd say to a woman who found a great guy that loved her and was great in every way but happened to have a high body count (and their points would be valid in that context).
So what you have to do instead is pull them away from their own mindset of sex and apply the same logic to something that matters specifically to women instead... and do you what the male "equivalent" of a high body count, ran-through woman is?
A broke man with little money, no career, no future and a low social standing...
You can turn their entire argument right back at them by saying if a man is "insecure" for not desiring a high body count woman as a serious, long-term partner, then women are just as insecure for not desiring a man with little money, no career or job and with low status...
"As long as he loves you, the fact he only made $20,000 and is a social nobody shouldn't matter to you one tiny bit"
Right?
Women cares about men sexual history just as much.
What about the mention of pair bonding? I've read it significantly decreases after only a few partners
It makes perfect sense to me. I also would be unlikely to ever be with a man with a long bed partner history. And other chaste women I know are the same way.
Why would any chaste woman want a man who has never been able to hold down a lengthy committed relationship with just one person? Sounds like a recipe for infidelity.
Not to mention the risk of stds. Or the long list of exes/baby mamas he would likely have that could easily cause unneccessary problems for the relationship.
A promiscuous man probably won't find a chaste woman who wants him. An inexperienced woman with no plans to abstain? Sure. But a chaste woman, meaning someone who is deliberately abstaining? Yeah, unlikely.
If chastity is what you're looking for in a woman, probably a good idea to become chaste yourself. Just saying.
Totally agree.
I would never date a promiscuous man. Only a godly chaste one 😇
Why would a woman want a man that makes more money than she does?
If a woman wants a high-earning man, probably a good idea for her to be able to bring in the exact same amount of money every year and not a penny less...
Many men have been told they should not think that way. And they are unhappy without knowing why.
Well said. I feel bad for those in sexless marriages.
What if it's not sexless because they're cheating with the neighbors?
Thats why do don't get married...or even live with the FEMALE. You can leave whenever YOU want. If the ROI is in the toilet, don't you just flush the toilet and leave???
@@modickens1272 sounds like a marriage not worth being in.
@@Jaco059 they rarely are
It isn’t the lack of sex, it’s the lack of intimacy.
This goes both ways. If you're not a risk-taker with your body you may for a myriad of reasons to reject getting close to someone who has standards that deviate too much from your own.
That's because nowadays everything is fucked and nothing makes sense anymore. What you just explained used to be the norm just 20 years ago.
Nowadays it is difficult to trust.
Doctor, I'm deeply grateful for this lesson and many others from you as they've helped me in great lengths. Best regards!
This is a brilliant analysis. It explained precisely the issue I’m having with my present girlfriend. Thank you for sharing it!
If you can't get past it, then go to couples counseling or break up.
@@angeloliver7613 you’ve had a similar issue?
@@franke2273I did and I just broke up with her immediately. I am a virgin with a ton of discipline. I had dated a few girls. It hurts a lot mentally and I never saw her the same. My attraction for her was destroyed instantly.
This is spot on the truth. I had such a amazing story to tell you about this, but this is a huge fact. Thank you for putting it out there.
Simple risk management (its got nothing to do with insecurity). Why invest time, effort and resources in a woman when she has a history of monkey branching from one man to the next? Also, why pay full price for a half portion of leftovers when others are given the full buffet for free.
One of the strongest videos in this channel. You must watch. This one should be a sticky👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I appreciate your honesty and the honesty of the people who left comments. Everyone needs to see this video.💖✨💫
Every word is pure gold. One of the most articulate UA-camrs I have ever seen (and I do see a lot of UA-cam)
I've seen about 6 of your videos now and you hit the nail on the head with every topic without wasting words. What took me about a week to understand from listening to other people you wrap up in one video. Very clear and concise and easily one the best channels regarding relationships, advice, etc.
I agree, his videos are awesome. I am loving this channel.
The video is excellent and describes a mismatch that occurred for me when I was young in the 1990s. I was in graduate school in the Pac-12 and played basketball on study breaks about five times a week. I had no interest in dating because I had gotten rejected by a woman I truly wanted - a nice Catholic female from my Catholic undergraduate college in the Midwest. She was very beautiful but reserved and modest in her behavior which appealed to me. After the rejection I just withdrew and chose to play basketball to maintain positive social interactions and gain positive health. Over time, I got the attention of a young woman of about 19 years old. She usually dressed with the "bare minimum" and wore an exercise bra and very tight exercise pants. Given the time frame, she somewhat resembled the woman in the video "Mercedes Boy" albeit younger and more athletic but very feminine. One day I was lifting weights and noticed her staring at me wide eyed with dilated pupils. I wasn't interested and just went upstairs to the stationary bikes. While up there, I saw her again below with her boyfriend who outright "felt her up" in broad view of the gym floor. She blushed in response. The guy was clearly her boyfriend who had been intimate with her. But about 30 minutes later I saw her again and she was still fixated on me with the dilated pupils. I think psychologists would know why I emphasized "dilated" - it's an involuntary human reflex of physical attraction. She looked like she wanted to talk but I just walked by without saying anyting.
Apparently, the "hot" female gym enthusiast had broken up with the guy who had felt her up just 30 minutes earlier and now wanted to move onto me. Her ex struck me as the "bad boy" type who goes on a college campus and tries to have sex with as many females as possible - compiling a list of "sexual conquests" as the college semesters go by. The guy reminded me of a campus version of a promiscuous "Jimmy Hendrix" but shorter and without the musical talent - lol. The woman was clearly on that list of his conquests but wanted to move onto me. The more I ignored her, the more aggressive she got in her nonverbal behavior until things boiled over late that spring. She was pursuing me while a 3rd new guy from the varsity basketball team was pursuing her - a star varsity player who was on the team that won the D1 championship a year later - a 1990s version of Jimmy Butler. The multiple triangles were bizarre. Now, why was I uninterested? The video here explains it very well. I knew that the guys she had been with are often the types who brag about their sexual conquests. I thought it was lame that I might run into her ex who would boast about the sexual conquest and see her as his "leftover" while I get the "sloppy seconds" in the relationship.
Moreover, at the time I was studying biochemistry in the medical school library and was aware of STD risks. A virus spreads via the lysogenic cyles and infects but can remain dormant for indefinite time periods. The STD risks include HIV, genital herpes, etc. It has proven to catch up to "bad boy" types like Charlie Sheen. I thought it was reasonable to assume that at least one of the woman's sexual partners had an STD with her possibly being infected. I was also concerned she might have had an abortion given the promiscuity of men she had been with which didn't appeal to me as a Catholic. By contrast, the Catholic woman I had preferred a year earlier was far more modest but nice and very beautiful - not sexually aggressive. She somewhat resembled Liv Tyler but was shorter and more petite. The Catholic woman married someone else while I just withdrew from dating. The rejection reminded me of the ending scene of the 80s film "Last American Virgin". The drama was absurd that year and reminded me of the classic 80s song 'Love Stinks" by the J. Geils Band. The lyrics allude to guy who falls for a woman who in turn falls for a 2nd guy who then is in love with someone else. Meanwhile, the woman from the gym just kept getting more aggressive until I just left the campus for good later that summer. Years later, I finally did date a woman from the gym at Florida State in Tallahassee - a blonde southern belle. I am a brown Apache Indian from rural AZ. The 2nd irony here was that I got rejected by Catholic women many times during that period but somehow got the interest of a Southern Protestant woman. Dating behavior can be illogical but very real. I was the Catholic guy who couldn't get the Catholic girl on his Catholic campus but managed to go to a university in the southern "Bible Belt" with mostly Protestants and date a southern belle. I was also the Catholic guy who couldn't get the nice Catholic girl but somehow wound up with the extreme hyperfocus of a sexually charged, promiscuous female gym enthusiast in the Pac-12 who many would consider "hot" but actually was incompatible with me.
But nowadays there are catholic websites to match to catholic single women.
@@Nexus31323 Thank you for taking the time to read that post. In hindsight, it's really long - lol. Best wishes.
@@manuelsteele7755 I took the time to read the post, interesting narrative style though 😆
@@mindsstalker I love his constant references to pop-cultural icons, celebrities, etc. for comparison! "She looked like that actress who played the babysitter on that one episode of 'Our Miss Brooks' back in 1956, but taller - you know, the episode where Miss Brooks hires a babysitter to care for her nephew who's come to visit - it was so-o funny! And the guy who was feeling her up looked like Jimmy Hendrix, except he wasn't Black, and was like 250 lbs, and wearing a suit and tie. And..."
Whats the movie name? Sounds interesting😂
As usual - spot on analysis. Great job OT!
As always - to the point and enlightening.
Discount is a silly idea.
1. When you are with another man, you leave a piece of you with that person. I want you completely, not in part.
2. Anything used (especially when it is the heart/ mind) is dangerous. There WILL be fights. Men want peace, not fights nor you 'testing' tge limits of that person.
3. Constant comparisons will arise between the previous and the current partner in the mind of the female (deny it all you want, but it will arise). It's like competing with a person that's not even there.
What I think? I think you are incredibly intuitive,clear,and straight up!!!LOVE watching your videos!!!
I just wish everyone could understand it logically the way you put it. Great channel btw I subscribed 3d ago and am rapaciously consuming your content
I don't think I've ever gotten an honest or straight answer from a woman about her body count. They always get nervous and try to dodge the question, blatantly lie (that I discover later), or become upset.
In the red pill world there is a formula for that, if I recall properly a mans stated count gets divided by 2, and a woman's get multiplied by 3 for the more accurate number.
Only virgins and confident promiscuous women will admit their body counts.
I love that this guy speaks truth and doesn't follow the fake feminism trend and just lie about all this stuff. Next topic to take up is avoiding single mothers man the drama that this will get you in as a man is horrible.🤦
Such a low vibrational comment. It’s one thing to appreciate the content of this video but it’s tiring when people continue to froth over anything that incites the us vs. them mentality.
@@rlynette7615You may suffer from Hitachi wand overuse syndrome.
OMG this “Dr.” Is really funny. He says why do men care about womens sexual past and then the example he gives is “if you bang a guy this afternoon that you met in a bar”. Um, that’s not the past. Yeah, I’d hope a guy would care and drop a lady like a hot potato.Yeah, if a guy feels like a schmuck and treats you like clothes on sale he’s low intelligence, low confidence and sad. He needs to do a lot of personal growth.
Frankie, he is speaking your personal truth. That’s why you like it. This is not the truth for all or even most men.
@@elsagrace3893 Their is no such thing as personal truth just the truth.
I think this may be the best explanation about attraction and value in a FWB situation or relationship regarding sexual dynamics.
That made a lot of sense to me and helped to clear up a few things in my own mind. Thanks.
This is great commentary, but I think there is a dimension to this that wasn't really tied in. That is the respect/disrespect angle. Women are always confused about the "double standard" when it comes to sex ie; why are men considered in a positive light for having alot of sex and why are women considered in a negative light for having alot of sex. Simply put here is your answer: The reason men are "studs" is because of how difficult it is to obtain sex vs women. Women are significantly more picky and selective when it comes to sex then are men. Take this example...a man who has slept with 100 women is lauded because of what it says about him. It's already difficult to obtain sex as it is, but it speaks to his traits, habits, character and desireability, ie: he has those things in his character to have had 100 women(who are much more selective) say yes to having sex with him. It other words it's a demonstration of value.
In the other case, a woman who has slept with 100 men(who are much less selective) is shamed and berated, as she is the one who determines IF sex happens at all(first right of refusal; gatekeeper, etc) and for her, it's beyond extremely easy for her to obtain sex. She could literally go on any dating app, swipe a dozen times and be horizontal in a matter of hours. We don't heap on acclaim for things that are pathetically easy, especially when the only requirement is that she is breathing and said "yes" 100 times. Zero effort required, anyone can do that, and it doesn't speak to any major character traits except negative ones, the primary one being that she isn't discerning, which for women is indicative of other possible negative outcomes(baby mama, std's, poor mate selection skills, etc) as women bear the lion's share of the physical burden when it comes to reproduction.
He did cover that in his explanation of the sexual arms race.
You’re mostly right, but there are further reasons. The sexual courtship dance is a soft form of prostitution. So women who are actively offering sex are often getting free things: free meals, drinks, rides, concert tickets, etc.
This is a very spineless way to live life; it is akin to being a prostitute. You don’t earn any of your pleasures through hard work, but you mooch off of men who offer you things to enter your body. There is a tacit agreement in courtship.
Other points are that women contract STDs at a much higher rate than men due to the concave shape of their sexual organs. 4x up to 8x with herpes and HIV. Look it up. Shocking how much this info is buried because it goes against the feminist gender egalitarian narrative. This makes it way more irresponsible for a woman to sleep around than a man. As if the risk of pregnancy or being kidnapped and sold aren’t already there.
Last point is that a woman who is casual about sex can cheat on you more easily. Women who view sex as something private that she’s giving up to a man won’t weaponize sex with others as a threat after getting into a fight with a bf. Since women can get sex on command, we want women who view sex as something precious she’d be giving away to a man. Her body count is the primary indicator of how she truly views her body.
But what if a decent looking men slept with over 40 2 out of 10 women? This isnt impressive at all
In the real world, smart women would avoid the man claiming 100 women like the plague ... because he is. That is a dead man walking. I grew up in a town in which I watched men literally melt away... decades of them ... over sex. Don't think that women do not understand that promiscuity is not a good look on men. It speaks to their lack of discipline, which they will not magically have upon marriage, and increases the chances that sooner or later, a husband's lust will break the commitment and give BOTH OF US something that could KILL US. Be not deceived. HIV, HPV, and a bunch of antibiotic-resistant things are out there -- smart women do NOT want a promiscuous man. Such a man has been a literal death sentence for FORTY YEARS.
@@hymnodyhands All available data would disagree with you. Men who have all the markers of status and success including pre-selection by women, can have had hundreds of women, and still be extremely desirable, look at any A-List celebrity like an actor or musician.
Women generally speaking don't view the world primarily through logic, that's men. Women primarily view the world through emotion, and they typically only care about short term benefits when put to the choice. A woman who happens to be in the company of say for example a famous rapper, will very likely sleep with him if he is interested in her, even though she knows that there is very little chance of an actual relationship occurring, and also likely knows that he has slept with hundreds of women before her.
So no, you are wrong, a woman will ignore a man's promiscuity if there are enough markers of success and status to pursue a relationship. Whereas a man will not ignore a woman's promiscuity to pursue a relationship. Don't get me wrong, he will still likely sleep with her, but she isn't getting a relationship out of it in all odds.
I like how you explain things and you are not afraid to speak the truth. Your professionalism, knowledge and commun sense are exceptional. I gladly subscribe.
Thank you and keep up the good work, we need it.😊
I saw you for the first time a couple of days ago. Excellent insight!
WOW finally someone that says the truth and does not sugar coat it!
Spot on!!!
Thank you for this content!
Other channels have been great, but I do not think that they say it how it truly is.
Thank god I found this channel! and thank you for the videos!
Is it weird that a value purity in a man. As a Woman I wish I could be with a virgin but that seems like a fantasy. Not only men want purity, some if us women do too,like me
no, check out the Catholic church or Christian groups. You will find many desirable men without a sexual history to worry about.
Among men, there is an inverse relationship between purity and attractiveness.
Sounds good in theory, but remember what he said about words/lip service? I've got a hundred bucks there are LOTS of virgin men around you. I've got another hundred that they would never get a second look from you based on other factors.
Sex to men and sex to women are completely different things.
Women control sex. If you and I walk around a casino, assuming you are at least semi attractive, you could walk up to a random 100 men you think are attractive, tell them you have a hotel room, and would like to them to come fcuk. GUARENTEED > 75% minimum would go, married, in a relationship, whatever. I’m a decent looking guy, bodybuilder, if I went up to 100 women I found attractive, guarenteed
If you want a virginal man, there are literally millions of them in America. Now is the best age in history to find one. Its just that none are good enough for today's standards. If they were, they wouldn't be virginal 😂
I feel like the "cheap product" hits home with vast majority of men a lot more. The second reason about being desirable is a breath of fresh air to the conversation, I don't think of anyone talking about that part as directly, it does make sense of course.
This isn't new knowledge for me, but the way you explain that was beyond perfect! 💯 I am curious to know your thoughts on why women don't keep quiet about certain past experiences?
They feel they should be sincere. They don't want it to come up later and cause issues
Really good explanations of men and women perception of sexual partner worth based on comparative valuation. On a practical level, do not fall into bed without dating comfortably a set period of time always to 'stabilize' your market value.
Wow I have been really enjoying this channels since I discovered it in early December last year. Its properly orientating my mind and I have more clarity on dating issues now more than ever. Thanks a million Doc. I will continue watching and just taking in alot of your wisdom and insight. I also like that you are not controversial or disrespectful to both genders.
That's what I like about him.
So true will subscribe thx . Oh the video was to the pt., no babble, good sound quality, gave good relatable examples, and stuck to the topic
Thankyou for the Doc, great stuff!!
Same goes for women……we care about a man’s sexual history as well…..
Yes, difference is you like sexually active guys because of preselection. Women don’t want guys other women don’t want
men car about women past , women car about men future that how it goes that why high value men can marry a losser girl that works in Mcdonald easily but high value women will never date down she will look only to improve on her current situation
No you don’t
Agreed!
😂 lies. I’ve never in life been with a woman that has ever cared about that. Y’all always want to deflect man.
I would also just mention the consistency of her characterand the amount of self discipline and inner virtue it takes to say no. But yeah. Very good video.
You are damnn simple awesome. As a guy I intuitively knew about this and had vague idea about the why. But you articulated it so well that I even got insight about men psychology
This video earned you my subscription.
Excellent explanation of the subject matter.
I have never heard this explained better than this! Bravo 👏
Great video, doc. I’m glad you articulated this topic in an even-handed manner.
Lol even handed! What a joke.
I don't really know how I would ever go about finding out what my partner was or was not willing to do with the men in her past unless she told me herself which has never happened. No ex of a partner of mine has ever volunteered that information (which would kind of creep me out) and I can't imagine a scenario where it wouldn't be weird for me to ask them. "Hey....so....I was wondering, what kinds of things did you do with my girlfriend in bed when she was your girlfriend?" I wouldn't feel inclined to respond to a question like that if it were asked of me. I would furthermore feel an immediate desire to excuse myself from the conversation and a strong aversion to ever interacting with that person again.
That is a difficult discussion to have and perhaps not even needed. I would say if you feel like you are not getting your sexual needs met you can bring that up. And you can perhaps ask if there is something in your interaction that makes her be less open sexually or if this has been the case in her past interactions as well and it is simply something that defines her. And then you have to see if there is willingness to change things and better address your needs. If your needs are perfectly met, then I don't see why you would need to stress about it in the first place. Hope this helps somehow.
Great conclusion by adding your own personal beliefs in the same situation, instead of saying she's trash cuz you weren't man enough to attract her earlier or behaving like shits just unfair, you instead maintained your power by deciding there are differences in women and none is to blame. Great discernment and wisdom.
Damn, even I as a man hadn't looked at this the way you just elaborated, some serious truth bombs, thank you for all the content Dr.
Finding a woman with a clean past is like looming for a needle in the haystack. So, we know that whoever we are with will cause headache because they will bring their past in the dark corners of her mind with her. A man must learn to live with this fact.
Or not to commit to them
finding a woman with a clean past aint that hard... our issue is we keep looking at what we think are attractive women. Y'know people say "a woman who loves you when you're at your lowest deserves you at your best". I think "A man who loves and supports a woman at her lowest, physically, mentally and emotionally - deserves her at her best" too.
My gf of 3 years used to be very different to the woman she is now, I'm incredibly proud of her and the fact that I've supported her through tough shit. And no, she didn't have any past relationships or flings. Lots of women are like that.
@@LucaWolfeMurray that typically doesn't work for women. If you date her at her lowest - if she upgrades she will also replace you as you are no longer her match.
@@AEH-df7hoI think that's more common and applicable to men,they usually upgrade to younger models unless you're Lauren Sanchez 😂
You can find her is Asia and some parts of Africa. Those are where the Virgins are.
I've been struggling with my feelings for someone "with a past" I didn't know existed until I was deep in the relationship with her, but your explanation helped me a lot to understand how I feel the way I feel and how to handle my feelings. Thanks a lot!
The illustrations he uses is ideal and hits the concept right to the heart
Additionally, the number of sexual partners in her past is an issue, because it demonstrates either her poor choices in men and chaotic sexual frivolousness and the likelihood that she is too fickle and unpredictable. This coincides with return of investment, and if your investment in regards to attention, time and resources will be worth it and rewarding.
Yes and I am in this conundrum with my current girl sadly.
And what about the number of HIS past sexual partners?
@@laahloo764 Women love players so no issue there.
And what does a high body count indicate regarding men?
@@lizrain2210 What does a low or zero body count indicate regarding men?
Only two reasons: paternity assurance and womans ability to bond with a male long term. Ladies, preserve your value
Also, good sex is learned, not instinctual. It is a good arena for demonstrating give and take. Like giving material gifts, sex is much better in the presence of real affection.
Gross 🤮
Men Persue your value by not becoming male whores😂
I just heard you for the first time. I love your style and explanations. You totally made sense to me.
Our society still values conservative outlook on certain issues. Growing up all the while I knew sex is only within the context of marriage. When sex is part of knowing to know stage it gets more complicated and it deprives the joy of knowing the person in a different level .
Why do men care about how many miles a car has left when buying an used car?
Why do collectors care about condition when collecting items...
Nobody, wants used up and worn out products.
Haha...poor analogy...nothing wrong with an old well maintained sports car that's had a few previous owners.
People are not things.
This is a decent explanation. I've always looked at it as our perceived value and the security/insecurity associated with it. Men have to earn sex from women and women have to earn commitment from men. Women don't seem to care as much about body counts because they have the luxury and security of knowing that they are the #1 best option for a guy when they get a ring. Even if a guy has had hundreds of women, if he chooses you above all of them to be his wife then that really says something about you. Men on the other hand don't have this luxury, if we marry a girl that has a body count of 30 men for example - just because she says yes and marries you doesn't mean you were her best option, maybe you were her 31st best option but she just couldn't get commitment from those 30 other guys.
The only way I can think to relate this feeling that guys get about body counts and sexual history is to try and imagine a guy that has had 30 previous wives and been divorced 30 times, now he asks you to be his wife... how do you feel about being his 31st wife?
If we’ve spent an extended period getting to know each other ,couple years , and he treats me excellent, we communicate well to understand each other, argue constructively, enjoy our time together. I’d feel fine.
A great analogy at the end which broadens my thoughts on this. Thanks
I get your point but I still dont think that analogy is perfect. A woman that has a body count over 30 and now wants to commit to a certain guy wasnt always trying to get every single men she had sex with into a relationship with her.
And when a men who fucked 100 women chooses do marry a specific women, it could still be possible that his dream woman rejected him
@@dietasse24 just my 2 cents, yes it's not prefect. There are some unspoken assumptions on intent (sleeping around vs looking for a partner). This only needs to work to explain the feelings, conservative feelings if I may say so, of such a concerned man that this video talks about. Overall, this idea works based on the "earning commitment vs sex theory" when intent is only securing an ltr/marriage which definitely isn't 100% of the time. Your thoughts..
This speaks to men's insecurity. Just as you assumed that she could not get commitment from the past partners, it could also be that she was not impressed with them and wanted something better (or different). It seems like men are intimidated when women have past experiences because it gives her something to compare them against.
Awesome summary Doc. I couldn't have said it better myself. You specialize in human behavior and psychology, and while your summary of why men care about a woman's sexual past is superb, I feel like you're preaching to the choir.
Being a psychologist, I'm sure you're aware that the vast majority of women are allergic to facts and accountability when it comes to relationship dynamics. Many of us men have the dubious honor of seeing this pan out in real life, and it's always terrible.
In my opinion, women base everything on their feelings at the moment and use their said feelings to justify bad behavior. Like many men, I like using logic and reason when it comes to assessing situations. While I have feelings like all human beings, I'm not governed by my feelings.
The dress analogy was spot on, but I use a different analogy. If you're a man who is now exclusive with a woman, how would she feel if she were to complain to her friends and family that you're not very physically affectionate or romantic as in you don't buy flowers or go on dates with her, only to discover that you have done everything she desires for previous women in the past. How do you think she would respond to that? She would feel inadequate and know right then and there that you don't desire her the same way you did women in your past and you're not as attracted to her. Logically speaking, she'd be right.
The same thing happens to us men. Guys who are in the red pill community know that women, statistically speaking, make rules for betas and break rules for Alphas. When a woman desires a man she will give her all to make sure that that man is happy, including sexually. The vast majority of times these are just the Chads and Tyrones who will use her for sex and never commit.
So obviously if you're the unlucky beta who finds the love of your life, and in some cases even marries her based on your own perception of her or perhaps the lies she may have told you, how do you think you're going to feel when she's just giving you the bare minimum only for you to discover that her past isn't as innocent as you've been misled to believing? It isn't even up for a debate, she does the bare minimum for you because she does not desire you the same way she desired those other men and she's with you as a safety net because she settled for you. When this happens, the relationship is over and it should be over out of respect for yourself. Sex and affection are non-negotiable.
You know there are no alphas and betas. Just people. Of all kinds.
I agree..what do you think a woman should do if she thinks her man has done more for the women in his past and now only does the bare minimum for her?
@@EcoworksFL Be direct and honest with her boyfriend/husband to see if there is any fixing the issue. If this doesn't work, then you as a person must assess the situation and see If it's worth staying in the relationship. Are you ok with knowing that your current boyfriend/husband settled for you and has done more for previous partners? No one should be, but it's a personal decision to make, as no one can tell you what to do in your relationship.
@@cherrylane79 Wrong...
If she gives it away, she cannot bond, and easily divorces and takes your house and money. Your living in a refrigerator box and she is sleeping with her neighbors in your house. It happened to me just that way.
I am so sorry a grown woman -- or anyone -- did that to you. You have been through some serious shit -- hell, if I'm being honest. I hope you are doing so much better now. I know you loved her unconditionally...but she did NOT deserve a great guy like you! I hope this isn't too weird or uncomfortable for you, but I just said a prayer for you. Don't do anything stupid, brother.