how to stop a shame spiral (havening exercise for healing shame)

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  • Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
  • Shame spirals are the worst.
    Not only are they one of the most painful things for a human to experience
    but they’re also really hard to get out of.
    In this video, I show you how to stop a shame spiral using a remarkable
    emotional healing technique called havening.
    I guide you through a 10 minute havening exercise to break the trance of shame, connect you with a healthy sense of self compassion again, and soothe your nervous system so you can feel like yourself. #havening #healingshame #selfcompassion
    It’s a super quick and effective way to stop a shame spiral!
    Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
    Xoxo, Karena
    P.S. If you want to go deeper, I have 2 awesome resources for you!
    Learn to decode the language of your emotions + tap into the wisdom of your body in my free mini-course: The Feel it to Heal it Mini-Course!
    helloinnerligh...
    🩷 Regulate your nervous system with Karena in The Co-Regulation Community (A more regulated nervous system is within reach!):
    helloinnerligh...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 67

  • @sarahpeck1819
    @sarahpeck1819 Рік тому

    The touch instantly got me crying. Through the video went from 8 to 4. Thank you 💙

  • @EnviroArtiste86
    @EnviroArtiste86 2 роки тому +17

    is it normally to cry doing this?

    • @Raynerd
      @Raynerd 11 місяців тому

      Yes. 😭😭😭

    • @deathuponusalll
      @deathuponusalll 8 місяців тому

      Bruh me rn 😭

    • @shrubbie69
      @shrubbie69 4 місяці тому +2

      @@deathuponusalll4 months later are you doing any better hun? i hope so ❤

    • @deathuponusalll
      @deathuponusalll 4 місяці тому +1

      @@shrubbie69 yes, and practicing the exercises is not painful, it’s gotten a lot easier to be kind to myself, I hope y’all have a very similar experience now after months of practice

  • @emilyc8646
    @emilyc8646 11 місяців тому

    I would say I do a good job of emotionally regulating myself after a period of really compassionate healing in my journey. Thinking I had it down made me return back to pressurizing "you should do and be xyz" types of thoughts. Shame followed. Thank you for this, and thank you for humbling me.

  • @Merzui-kg8ds
    @Merzui-kg8ds Рік тому +2

    Effective, but I would have liked it to have more pause in between each element.

  • @madi_E
    @madi_E Рік тому +1

    I love you, Thank you for this amazing Gift

  • @sophietaylor-gn7jg
    @sophietaylor-gn7jg Рік тому

    My shame level in the beginning was 8 of 10 which was a posible limit for me
    It's like 2 now and I'm very grateful for this technique
    Thanks you so much for sharing that and helping a lot of people 🐑🌈

  • @victoria-ol3fc
    @victoria-ol3fc Рік тому

    the suggestion to rub my hands together made me want to hurt myself for some reason. couldn't do it...

  • @rgggxo
    @rgggxo 2 місяці тому +2

    I know this is an older video and you might not see this but I started at a ten and made it down to a 4. The words I was repeating at the end were better, and relieved. I'll be saving this one for sure.

  • @robynhenderson8090
    @robynhenderson8090 2 роки тому +14

    This is new to me and it is SO comforting. I was at a 10 with tears and now I’m at a 2!

    • @MJ_gks
      @MJ_gks Рік тому

      Same for me, thank you, love, gratitude & hugs 🥰💛🧡

  • @willcosta5815
    @willcosta5815 Рік тому +5

    Thank you! Was just stuck all day in one of these spirals. I really like how you turn the self-soothing phrases to “what if” questions! It’s easier for my inner critic to ease up on me, and consider the phrases to be true.

  • @supes4497
    @supes4497 15 днів тому

    8 to 3. Thankyou so much. We all need to give ourselves so much more grace. I hope you all feel better soon. Sending love (for real)

  • @CatherineAShadis-eb3vr
    @CatherineAShadis-eb3vr 16 днів тому

    Recommended by my psychologist today as I was an extreme 10. She sent you to me immediately. Thank you going to try this!

  • @Kikipotamus
    @Kikipotamus 2 роки тому +4

    I went from a 5 to a 1. Forgiving myself brought tears. Thank you.

  • @declanmcnally9248
    @declanmcnally9248 Місяць тому

    Recently subscribed and thank you for this amazing video! Went from a 7 to a 4

  • @kellymcginnis6118
    @kellymcginnis6118 2 роки тому +5

    Started at a 6 and now a 3! You are so wonderful, beautiful, and amazing! A true healer and we are so lucky to have this channel. :)

  • @MandyBates-jh8qe
    @MandyBates-jh8qe 17 днів тому

    I was at about almost an 8 and down to a 3/4. Some tears for sure but more peaceful now. I can actually think

  • @STY450
    @STY450 7 місяців тому +1

    I really appreciate your videos😊

  • @gra6799
    @gra6799 3 місяці тому

    Hiya I was at a very dark heavy 10 then went to 7 then to 5 and I dont feel as emotionally constipated as I did Sincere gratitude for you putting this out there ❤️ 🙏 😊

  • @Ahbhswrzq9221
    @Ahbhswrzq9221 11 місяців тому

    I really struggle with excessive shame that it sometimes leads to seizures 😢 I just feel ashamed of myself no matter what I do

  • @naturelover1284
    @naturelover1284 4 місяці тому

    how does one deflect the age question and keep communication open

  • @johanna11980
    @johanna11980 2 місяці тому

    Love this, Thank you so much

  • @anthonygeorge3689
    @anthonygeorge3689 9 місяців тому

    I was at an 11 and now I'm about a 7, which is manageable.

  • @cherryburlinson3636
    @cherryburlinson3636 10 місяців тому +1

    Hi I came across you looking for a way out of a two day long horrendous shame and panic spiral. I was an easy 10 and now a 2. I cried all the way through. I don't find it easy to cry. Your beautiful kind face was so comforting. Thank you. I will explore your other videos.

  • @thewildlingdiaries1392
    @thewildlingdiaries1392 2 роки тому +2

    We are so lucky to have your teachings 💛💛💛💛💛💛

  • @roozbehsingharanipour8502
    @roozbehsingharanipour8502 9 місяців тому

    I feel the presence of God in you.

  • @brianclark5002
    @brianclark5002 5 місяців тому

    First time. Mine was a big one and I went from a 8/9 to a 3/4. I deffintly will repeat this process.

    • @helloinnerlight
      @helloinnerlight  5 місяців тому

      Wonderful! That's a significant change. ❤

  • @micheleweiss1136
    @micheleweiss1136 5 місяців тому

  • @karimabokreta
    @karimabokreta 2 роки тому +1

    I appreciate you so much , I was at 9 and at the end it was like 3 , and it felt so good

  • @amcintyre500
    @amcintyre500 2 роки тому +2

    Wow! This really works! Thank you for sharing this.

  • @annetteseymour-hg9jt
    @annetteseymour-hg9jt 11 місяців тому

    Awesome 😮

  • @Raynerd
    @Raynerd 11 місяців тому +1

    It started out good, and then it was lovely, and then I cried, and then I couldn't answer the questions.
    "What if I deserve some compassion right now because...?"
    "I am open to the possibility of showing myself some compassion because...?"
    "What Im realising now is...?"
    I dont know why I deserve some compassion.
    "How I'm feeling now is...?" Heartbroken.
    I went from an 8/10 in shame, to a 3/10 in shame, to a 9/10 in saddness. To feeling existential dread. The fill in the blank questions ruined this for me because I don't have the words to give.

    • @lapislazuliphoenix
      @lapislazuliphoenix 4 місяці тому +1

      I didn't know all the answers either, but it gives me a chance to view myself in different ways, maybe like a stranger. I treat others better than I treat myself, so recognizing that can give me a place to start trying to give myself some basic human kindnesses too. ❤ You deserve it! Take care!

  • @archu24695
    @archu24695 8 місяців тому

    I went from 8 to 1... thank you so much

    • @helloinnerlight
      @helloinnerlight  8 місяців тому

      That's huge! I'm so glad it helped! 🩷

  • @the_sleepy_engineer
    @the_sleepy_engineer Рік тому +1

    I cried my eyes out as if I was my child self. I thought I was loved as a child but maybe I lied to myself? He is so broken and lonely and has so much to let out. The hug technique i never tried before and that was the key. It was beautiful. Thank you

    • @helloinnerlight
      @helloinnerlight  Рік тому +2

      I'm so happy that you were able to connect with that part of you that felt lonely and broken. 🩷🩷🩷 That's the heart of true healing.

  • @lovesings2us
    @lovesings2us 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much for your generous sharing! I went from 8 to 2! This is amazing.

  • @TakaraStarChan
    @TakaraStarChan 2 роки тому +1

    At a 7-8. Now 1. Thank you.

  • @schmenge7
    @schmenge7 3 місяці тому

    extremely helpful! I went from a 10 to a 2...will be making this part of my routine for sure!

  • @susanp61
    @susanp61 Рік тому +1

    I started at a 7 and now feel it is a 2 or 3. As someone wanted to vent to me, too much. I was reminded I'm human and it's ok to care for myself too.

  • @ElanaVital83
    @ElanaVital83 11 місяців тому

    Thus was great!! It feels just like Reiki! Subbed!

  • @DHARK1873
    @DHARK1873 11 місяців тому

    Having to comfort oneself is the most messed up thing in life.
    (Yes, I’m somewhat covetous of those that it works for, but even so… even for them- it’s messed up and will never be as strong as someone outside themselves being the comforter.)

  • @AraamRetreats
    @AraamRetreats 11 місяців тому

    Thank you.. this was so healing for me. I was at a 8 and at the end a 2. very grateful

  • @reemsaif3105
    @reemsaif3105 6 місяців тому

    Thank you my level of stress went from 7 to 2 💖 🎉

  • @claudiasbarra1882
    @claudiasbarra1882 11 місяців тому

    Thank you so much for this. From 9,8 to 6,2 😊

  • @katherinehague5053
    @katherinehague5053 Рік тому

    I love this practice thank you :)

  • @ranisahota1084
    @ranisahota1084 5 місяців тому

    That was so good, I went from a 10 to 2. Thank you so much for this video. It really helped. ❤❤❤
    You are amazing and so compassionate.

    • @helloinnerlight
      @helloinnerlight  5 місяців тому

      Thanks for your kind words! I'm so happy that this brought your distress level down so much. ❤

  • @GwynneBloodgood
    @GwynneBloodgood Рік тому

    Thank you, this is so helpful!

  • @TheZomeister
    @TheZomeister Рік тому

    At beginning was a level 6 and at then it was a level 1.

  • @teena5723
    @teena5723 Рік тому

    1:22

  • @rationalityrules111
    @rationalityrules111 11 місяців тому

    Everyone in the comment section is definitely emotionally unstable and aby technique which gives them the permission to release would work, they are are the verge of letting it all out

  • @rationalityrules111
    @rationalityrules111 11 місяців тому

    Rub hand for delta waves - alriiight! what nonsense

  • @carrabosse
    @carrabosse 2 роки тому +2

    "Not only are they one of the most painful things for a human to experience"
    Wow.
    I've worked with people who have survived the Holocaust and the Rwandan genocide; people who have experienced physical and emotional suffering the likes of which most people today couldn't even begin to fathom, let alone survive.
    Little did they know that their experiences were insignificant compared to an emotional shame spiral! We should let them know.

  • @OnaAV
    @OnaAV 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you Karena. With your practices I always feel the difficult feelings in my head, maybe it's because of this that touching my face felt comforting. Went from 10 to 4.
    I'm very grateful! 🙏🤍

    • @helloinnerlight
      @helloinnerlight  2 роки тому +1

      10 to a 4 is fantastic! Thanks for sharing. Also, it's interesting that you always feel it in your head. Great job taking care of yourself! ❤️