I'm 7 weeks and just said to my partner this evening that after birth I want to settle into being a new parent for 2 weeks before any visitors and he just hit the roof saying I'm unreasonable and it's "weird" for me to withold the baby as a newborn from his parents and that they would want to hold their new grandbaby. He didnt understand at all when I tried to explain that his parents had that chance with their own children and that it will be our turn. He also was shocked when I said I didn't want his mother with me while giving birth and seemed to think I was foolish for not wanting her "advice" while I'm pushing out my baby!! I told him i will be happy to have a gentle conversation with his parents to explain my expectations postpartum regarding visitation
I already love this video so much, no one talks about setting boundaries for visits etc and everyone expects to come visit within 24hours baby arrives or worse. I got home from hospital with my first (after 2 days in hospital) to a house full of people. With my second I gave birth at 9:59am and left the hospital at 2:30pm…… to family waiting outside our home (I didn’t even want anyone to know we had had baby yet) my now ex had messaged everyone and said we were on our way home. It was so overwhelming and exhausting
My in laws wanted to stay with us, for a full month, immediately upon birth… I delayed them 1.5 wk after birth and maxed them at 1.5 wk staying with us and am so pleased I did! I greatly appreciated their willingness to help and desire to meet our baby girl, but a month is too much (at anytime really, and especially after giving birth). I didn’t start feeling comfortable with my new baby until everyone was gone and we could just be together and do our own thing.
I love this video! From the moment I found out I was pregnant I’ve been worried about this! I hate the idea of private time with my baby being rushed, along with knowing that I won’t know how to breastfeed or what to do right away. I don’t want my father in law walking in on me feeding my baby or doing skin to skin in the hospital - I hate the idea of feeling vulnerable whilst people come to visit and hold my baby. Once a baby is born the mother is often forgotten too. I know my family will be understanding but my husbands family won’t be - so important to have these conversations as soon as possible to set expectations and boundaries. I don’t want visitors until we are settled in at home and I am feeling better. My mother will be the exception if I require care or support. I know people have good intentions and want to celebrate and meet baby but those first few weeks are so important
I can totally relate! My advise is to voice all of these concerns with your husband! No one will advocate for you like you will - You're in charge of your postpartum experience! You got this mama!
It's comforting to hear you say these things. My first birth did not go well, and i had an unexpected group of family waiting in the lobby while i was having a breakdownn and refusing a c section! My second birth was exceedingly worse, and i was bombarded with visitors the same morning on no sleep, heavily drugged, catheter hanging out. My FIL refused to give my premee back for her prescribed feeding time bc he wasn't ready to leave and didn’t want to see me nurse her! My MIL kissed her despite my request. This time around, i have to go with secrecy and lies just to maintain my sanity! You're right, its not their moment! And i didn't have any visitors outside of the hospital stay anyway!
I’m due in March with my third kid. Everyone was around for my first. (Granted I was still in my hometown and had preeclampsia.) I wish my privacy was kept private. My second one, I moved across country. We only had friends to rely on watching our first born at three. My now third one, everyone wants to fly in for it. I honestly don’t want anyone to come. It’ll still be peak of cold, flu and RSV. The last thing I want is travelers germs around us. We already deal with enough germs the kids bring home from school. Idk how to politely say, please don’t come.
Oh my gosh, thank you for making this video. This has been plaguing me mentally as I go through my first pregnancy right now. I am typically a more reserved person, and my family sometimes uses this trait of mine to exploit when needed. I’ve been told to my face “I’d like to be there during the birth” and I’ve flat out said “no”. They all think I’m “stuck up” now, and have constantly tried to make me feel insecure as a first time mom so that I will come crawling back to them for “help”. I’ve unfortunately become a high risk pregnancy because of factors, and that has caused a lot of horrible and condescending comments towards me from my family. It almost feels like my friends are behaving better than my own family as they have all offered to drop off food, or help with chores and our dog, and I can’t help but feel the most supported by people totally unrelated to me. I think changing my mindset will help, and I needed to hear the positive validations behind these boundaries like “I don’t need to convince other people that I’m making the right choice”.. thank you again. This really really helped me! Family is tricky, but I think boundaries are necessary.
I feel this so much. I had my first son 9 months ago. I wanted no visitors at birth center afterwards and no one there during. My husband thought it was crazy and wanted a bunch of people there. His mom haddd to come the day the baby was born and he told her when we were in labor. She also visited the weekend we got home with the baby with my niece and SIL. They stayed for hours. I had a really crappy postpartum because my husband wanted to “socialize” and show off the baby which he wanted to pass around like a football. He made me go out with the baby at 3 weeks postpartum and visit his distant cousins and aunts. One of them (a very distant great aunt) kissed my newborn son. I still hate going to family functions on my husband’s end.
I’m so sorry. That is so frustrating! Maybe encourage him to watch this video and express to him how you felt about the postpartum experience and how he can support you better next time.
I was crushed this morning (even though I expected the reaction) that my mom reprimanded me, a 37 year old woman with a stable home and husband , for sending the notice out that we do not want visitors at the hospital. This video helped me so much. You’re right , I do not have to come to a consensus. You’re so right
Oof... I'm so sorry. You're doing the right thing and no one knows what better for you, and your children than the parents!🖤 Also, the people who protest a simple boundary, are the ones who were benefiting from you not having any.
(Wife typing) Yes! Amen to every single item you said! Thank you for the confirmation, strength, and confidence to set some boundaries! This is our fifth baby and the tug I feel to really trim back visitors is insane. I also am super apprehensive about the unhealthy, though well-intentioned, meals that come our way!
I have been searching everywhere for info like this... we are having our first baby, and the DAY we announced to inlaws, my mother in law said she would love to come and stay for 2 weeks and "help" with everything. It did not settle well with me for reasons NOW after watching this video I understand!! Just this last weekend we had a gentle conversation that her expectations are not in aline with ours. This video helps put words to my thoughts so we can have even better conversations with family!!!
@@AileeahColganMusic Wonderful!! I've been looking everywhere for this kind of content, and there is very little on youtube... I found maybe 3 other videos? I've ended up calling lots of trusted mommas to ask them about this topic, since no one talks about it!! Would love advise on: -How to have the gentle conversations with setting boundaries/expectations for family and birth/post birth. -How to handle social media/phone use during or the week following birth. (Other people posting or your own phone boundaries!) -How to direct family or friends which what they CAN help with while protecting your own bonding time with baby/husband/self. -Is it wrong to want to value your own privacy and intimacy with your baby/husband and bonding that first week? Over the excitment and expectations of others... and if so, how to NOT FEEL BAD about it!! -How to trust your gut feeling for how you want the time of your birth and after... over the expectations of others for that time. Then how to STICK to it when met with resistance.
I agree with this whole heartedly! My husband and I aren't taking visitors for the first 2 weeks and our kids will be home from school for the first few days to bond with their sister! They will be the first ones outside of me and my husband to hold baby girl and spend time with her!
I’ve been looking so long for a video that would perfectly explain the boundaries I wanna set for when I go into labor and postpartum/recovery! Thank you so much for making the video I needed! I sent this to my family🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️
Just really be sure to become coherent as a couple, as partners. I experienced my partner felt the expectations of his family and pressured me to fullfill them. Which started an avalanche of issues. I am so sorry that I didn´t realize I had the freedom to take the first week alone for example eventhough that´s what I needed. Great video that makes the real needs come first. I love the "no kisses". Omg I needed that kind of support back then. My partner would make me feel crazy for asking those things just because he wasn´t used to creating boundaries with his family. So validating.
Amazing video 10/10!! I am a soon to be first time mum and my MIL and SIL told me that they were going to stay with me a week after having the baby to help. The thing is that she said she cant cook for me because im vegan and she doesnt know how to cook vegan, and i would be cooking for them sometimes. Isnt that backwards?? After talking to other moms and learning more about what my needs will most likely be during this time i decided to tell my MIL that i appreciate the offer but ive decided that i wont be taking any visitors for the first week or so. I love your list that you send out to visitors as well especially about the jab cause i agree!! And yeah its totally opposite of most people but idc.
Part of me would like family to be there, but I don't want other people to start demanding things of me and my newborn that I don't feel comfortable with. So I think I will try to establish some ground rules, run them by the family members, and depending on their response I will use that as the basis if they will be there soon after the baby is born.
I have already been questioned and requested to announce I am entering labor. And this coming from somebody who has kids and used to complain about people’s inability to respect boundaries.
One time, a family member wanted to throw a party AT MY HOUSE just a week after I gave birth to celebrate the baby being born. I was like, "What!?!? Um, no thank you!" I have NO idea what she was thinking!🤦🏾♀️
I hired a doula for postpartum. I don’t want my in laws hovering and my parents know that I want privacy with the new baby. I would love a week with NO visitors
This was so helpful! My only problem is that my husband and I have older children who have to go to grandparents house while I'm giving birth. How would you deal with that?
even before being pregnant , my MOTHER decided that she was going to stay with us 10 days before labor and 2/3 weeks after, i said Nop we don't want any visitors for the first month until our baby gets vaccinated. she acted like she heard nothing and now at 6 months pregnant she told me that she got her visa and that she's ready to come so i said the same thing back and added that if she get's sick it's not going to be possible for to come until she gets better (because she wanted to buy her tickets early) she yelled at me saying that i don't want her if she's sick and said to me and if you get sick? THEN She went to my father and cried that i don't wat her at my house, and now they won't talk to me, and my dad said that he's disapponted and scared of who i'm becoming .. i blocked them.
I loved having family and friends come to meet the babies. If they did not pitch I felt hurt! Everyone was welcome and to boot, they each brought a dinner or other eats. But I needed to be totally alone during labour. My husband's presence irritated me until late labour. I needed to concentrate and hypnotized myself so peace was optimum. I sent him away to have breakfast and read the newspaper in the hospital restaurant. During the 2nd stage we enjoyed being together. I could not have handled a doula or midwife fussing over me. So different we all are.
I find it so hard to tell my parents and my parents in law that they can not hold my baby. I am fine with them coming soon after birth just to watch my baby or touch his feet or hand. But holding is a different level, and I find it hard to say that boundary in advance😅
I agree with you but some parents want visitors family or close friends that can support or help or just be able to talk I think your think everyone want what you want that not even true so be careful with what you tell others new parents just saying
Did you miss the beginning where I said “this is what works for my family, but you do what’s best for yours”? I am not responsible for someone else’s decisions. “Be careful” nitpick my lived experiences. ✌🏼
Idk I agree that you need boundaries and what not, but I think it's a little cruel to not tell your family you are in labor and are about to deliver your baby. And to not allow them to see or meet the baby for 2 weeks? Like I could never do that to my family. How hurtful.. I think some people go a little overboard with "boundaries" and what not. Almost like a narcissistic power trip because they can. Idk. Just feels icky to me.
I’m really glad that you have that relationship with your family. Not all of us are that lucky and need these boundaries so that we can have a healthy relationship.
So glad you value your own opinion so much that you think you know what’s better for my child, my family, and my postpartum experience. The difference between you and me is that I am confident in my decisions and I’m not swayed by random strangers opinion on how I prioritize my family. ✌️
I dont think a lot of friends wanted to visit your baby with that attitude. You are not very friendly with visitors I guess. And if you gave me a document with rules about how I should behave with a baby, I wouldnt want to meet it. You make everything uncomfortable and exhausting. Thats not a normal behauviour
Sounds like something one of those toxic mother in laws would say... if you cannot follow rules and instructions or respect boundaries you are the one with the problem
I think keeping this precious new family member from meeting his/her family is selfish and unreasonable. Also thinking you can stop family from sitting in waiting room til any is born is over controlling. Waiting rooms are not within your control. You are encouraging division of families! Shame on you
Sounds like you're triggered because someone in your life set a healthy boundary with you because you have a problem knowing your place in the extended family dynamic. Mother + Baby + father is the only bonding that matters. ✌🏻
As someone who has experienced a mother in law who almost made my husband miss the birth of his second son because she needed help finding the waiting room and didn’t bother to call someone in the whole group of people already waiting in the waiting room I feel that she was very selfish. Also as a young mother with my first at 22yrs old having my mother and mother in law chatting away and just staring awkwardly as I’m in extreme pain due to them inducing me with extreme high levels of unnecessary pitocin was vary uncomfortable to say the least.. I’m now 37 and having my 6th and finally have enough sense to start putting my foot down.
Selfish and unreasonable to set healthy boundaries that don’t include allowing you to dictate everything that will happen in the new parents and newborns lives? Sounds like you are the one with the problem. You are lucky I’m not the new mom in yr family cuz I would ban you and block you quick.
I'm 7 weeks and just said to my partner this evening that after birth I want to settle into being a new parent for 2 weeks before any visitors and he just hit the roof saying I'm unreasonable and it's "weird" for me to withold the baby as a newborn from his parents and that they would want to hold their new grandbaby. He didnt understand at all when I tried to explain that his parents had that chance with their own children and that it will be our turn. He also was shocked when I said I didn't want his mother with me while giving birth and seemed to think I was foolish for not wanting her "advice" while I'm pushing out my baby!! I told him i will be happy to have a gentle conversation with his parents to explain my expectations postpartum regarding visitation
I’m having the same issue 😭 I’m 16 weeks pregnant
I already love this video so much, no one talks about setting boundaries for visits etc and everyone expects to come visit within 24hours baby arrives or worse. I got home from hospital with my first (after 2 days in hospital) to a house full of people. With my second I gave birth at 9:59am and left the hospital at 2:30pm…… to family waiting outside our home (I didn’t even want anyone to know we had had baby yet) my now ex had messaged everyone and said we were on our way home. It was so overwhelming and exhausting
Oh girl! That's rough and I am sorry!
My in laws wanted to stay with us, for a full month, immediately upon birth… I delayed them 1.5 wk after birth and maxed them at 1.5 wk staying with us and am so pleased I did! I greatly appreciated their willingness to help and desire to meet our baby girl, but a month is too much (at anytime really, and especially after giving birth). I didn’t start feeling comfortable with my new baby until everyone was gone and we could just be together and do our own thing.
I love this video! From the moment I found out I was pregnant I’ve been worried about this! I hate the idea of private time with my baby being rushed, along with knowing that I won’t know how to breastfeed or what to do right away. I don’t want my father in law walking in on me feeding my baby or doing skin to skin in the hospital - I hate the idea of feeling vulnerable whilst people come to visit and hold my baby. Once a baby is born the mother is often forgotten too. I know my family will be understanding but my husbands family won’t be - so important to have these conversations as soon as possible to set expectations and boundaries. I don’t want visitors until we are settled in at home and I am feeling better. My mother will be the exception if I require care or support. I know people have good intentions and want to celebrate and meet baby but those first few weeks are so important
I can totally relate! My advise is to voice all of these concerns with your husband! No one will advocate for you like you will - You're in charge of your postpartum experience! You got this mama!
It's comforting to hear you say these things. My first birth did not go well, and i had an unexpected group of family waiting in the lobby while i was having a breakdownn and refusing a c section! My second birth was exceedingly worse, and i was bombarded with visitors the same morning on no sleep, heavily drugged, catheter hanging out. My FIL refused to give my premee back for her prescribed feeding time bc he wasn't ready to leave and didn’t want to see me nurse her! My MIL kissed her despite my request. This time around, i have to go with secrecy and lies just to maintain my sanity! You're right, its not their moment! And i didn't have any visitors outside of the hospital stay anyway!
I’m due in March with my third kid. Everyone was around for my first. (Granted I was still in my hometown and had preeclampsia.) I wish my privacy was kept private. My second one, I moved across country. We only had friends to rely on watching our first born at three. My now third one, everyone wants to fly in for it. I honestly don’t want anyone to come. It’ll still be peak of cold, flu and RSV. The last thing I want is travelers germs around us. We already deal with enough germs the kids bring home from school. Idk how to politely say, please don’t come.
Oh my gosh, thank you for making this video. This has been plaguing me mentally as I go through my first pregnancy right now. I am typically a more reserved person, and my family sometimes uses this trait of mine to exploit when needed. I’ve been told to my face “I’d like to be there during the birth” and I’ve flat out said “no”. They all think I’m “stuck up” now, and have constantly tried to make me feel insecure as a first time mom so that I will come crawling back to them for “help”. I’ve unfortunately become a high risk pregnancy because of factors, and that has caused a lot of horrible and condescending comments towards me from my family. It almost feels like my friends are behaving better than my own family as they have all offered to drop off food, or help with chores and our dog, and I can’t help but feel the most supported by people totally unrelated to me. I think changing my mindset will help, and I needed to hear the positive validations behind these boundaries like “I don’t need to convince other people that I’m making the right choice”.. thank you again. This really really helped me! Family is tricky, but I think boundaries are necessary.
I feel this so much. I had my first son 9 months ago. I wanted no visitors at birth center afterwards and no one there during. My husband thought it was crazy and wanted a bunch of people there. His mom haddd to come the day the baby was born and he told her when we were in labor. She also visited the weekend we got home with the baby with my niece and SIL. They stayed for hours. I had a really crappy postpartum because my husband wanted to “socialize” and show off the baby which he wanted to pass around like a football. He made me go out with the baby at 3 weeks postpartum and visit his distant cousins and aunts. One of them (a very distant great aunt) kissed my newborn son. I still hate going to family functions on my husband’s end.
I’m so sorry. That is so frustrating! Maybe encourage him to watch this video and express to him how you felt about the postpartum experience and how he can support you better next time.
I was crushed this morning (even though I expected the reaction) that my mom reprimanded me, a 37 year old woman with a stable home and husband , for sending the notice out that we do not want visitors at the hospital. This video helped me so much. You’re right , I do not have to come to a consensus. You’re so right
Oof... I'm so sorry. You're doing the right thing and no one knows what better for you, and your children than the parents!🖤 Also, the people who protest a simple boundary, are the ones who were benefiting from you not having any.
(Wife typing) Yes! Amen to every single item you said! Thank you for the confirmation, strength, and confidence to set some boundaries! This is our fifth baby and the tug I feel to really trim back visitors is insane. I also am super apprehensive about the unhealthy, though well-intentioned, meals that come our way!
I have been searching everywhere for info like this... we are having our first baby, and the DAY we announced to inlaws, my mother in law said she would love to come and stay for 2 weeks and "help" with everything. It did not settle well with me for reasons NOW after watching this video I understand!!
Just this last weekend we had a gentle conversation that her expectations are not in aline with ours. This video helps put words to my thoughts so we can have even better conversations with family!!!
I’m so so glad you found value in this video! Best of luck with those future conversations. I’ll be making more content in this subject soon!
@@AileeahColganMusic Wonderful!! I've been looking everywhere for this kind of content, and there is very little on youtube... I found maybe 3 other videos? I've ended up calling lots of trusted mommas to ask them about this topic, since no one talks about it!!
Would love advise on:
-How to have the gentle conversations with setting boundaries/expectations for family and birth/post birth.
-How to handle social media/phone use during or the week following birth. (Other people posting or your own phone boundaries!)
-How to direct family or friends which what they CAN help with while protecting your own bonding time with baby/husband/self.
-Is it wrong to want to value your own privacy and intimacy with your baby/husband and bonding that first week? Over the excitment and expectations of others... and if so, how to NOT FEEL BAD about it!!
-How to trust your gut feeling for how you want the time of your birth and after... over the expectations of others for that time. Then how to STICK to it when met with resistance.
I agree with this whole heartedly! My husband and I aren't taking visitors for the first 2 weeks and our kids will be home from school for the first few days to bond with their sister! They will be the first ones outside of me and my husband to hold baby girl and spend time with her!
I’ve been looking so long for a video that would perfectly explain the boundaries I wanna set for when I go into labor and postpartum/recovery! Thank you so much for making the video I needed! I sent this to my family🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️ everything you said!!!!
Just really be sure to become coherent as a couple, as partners. I experienced my partner felt the expectations of his family and pressured me to fullfill them. Which started an avalanche of issues. I am so sorry that I didn´t realize I had the freedom to take the first week alone for example eventhough that´s what I needed. Great video that makes the real needs come first. I love the "no kisses". Omg I needed that kind of support back then. My partner would make me feel crazy for asking those things just because he wasn´t used to creating boundaries with his family. So validating.
LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!
I. LOVE. THIS!!!!!!!!
Amazing video 10/10!!
I am a soon to be first time mum and my MIL and SIL told me that they were going to stay with me a week after having the baby to help. The thing is that she said she cant cook for me because im vegan and she doesnt know how to cook vegan, and i would be cooking for them sometimes. Isnt that backwards?? After talking to other moms and learning more about what my needs will most likely be during this time i decided to tell my MIL that i appreciate the offer but ive decided that i wont be taking any visitors for the first week or so. I love your list that you send out to visitors as well especially about the jab cause i agree!! And yeah its totally opposite of most people but idc.
I love how you word things. It s very hard to advocate for myself but this helps
Thank you! God speed 🙌🏼
Part of me would like family to be there, but I don't want other people to start demanding things of me and my newborn that I don't feel comfortable with. So I think I will try to establish some ground rules, run them by the family members, and depending on their response I will use that as the basis if they will be there soon after the baby is born.
I have already been questioned and requested to announce I am entering labor. And this coming from somebody who has kids and used to complain about people’s inability to respect boundaries.
One time, a family member wanted to throw a party AT MY HOUSE just a week after I gave birth to celebrate the baby being born.
I was like, "What!?!? Um, no thank you!"
I have NO idea what she was thinking!🤦🏾♀️
She must not have kids 😂
I absolutely love your video! Where can I find your visiting newborn chart? Im 31weeks and would love to send it to friends and family.
Thank you!! Send me a dm on Instagram and I’ll send it to you 🖤
I hired a doula for postpartum. I don’t want my in laws hovering and my parents know that I want privacy with the new baby. I would love a week with NO visitors
This was so helpful! My only problem is that my husband and I have older children who have to go to grandparents house while I'm giving birth. How would you deal with that?
Where is the image you used for visitors??
This is so true. Hence I also don’t want anyone during my birth🙌.
even before being pregnant , my MOTHER decided that she was going to stay with us 10 days before labor and 2/3 weeks after, i said Nop we don't want any visitors for the first month until our baby gets vaccinated.
she acted like she heard nothing and now at 6 months pregnant she told me that she got her visa and that she's ready to come so i said the same thing back and added that if she get's sick it's not going to be possible for to come until she gets better (because she wanted to buy her tickets early) she yelled at me saying that i don't want her if she's sick and said to me and if you get sick?
THEN She went to my father and cried that i don't wat her at my house, and now they won't talk to me, and my dad said that he's disapponted and scared of who i'm becoming .. i blocked them.
I didn’t get any of that….even when I tried
I loved having family and friends come to meet the babies. If they did not pitch I felt hurt! Everyone was welcome and to boot, they each brought a dinner or other eats. But I needed to be totally alone during labour. My husband's presence irritated me until late labour. I needed to concentrate and hypnotized myself so peace was optimum. I sent him away to have breakfast and read the newspaper in the hospital restaurant. During the 2nd stage we enjoyed being together.
I could not have handled a doula or midwife fussing over me.
So different we all are.
Where can I find that postpartum rules pic?
Send me a message on instagram, I'll send it to you.
I needed help after my births…I was grateful.
That's wonderful! Every woman and birth experience is different. ❤️
Please send me your visiting newborn chart! 🙏🏼
Message me on Instagram 🖤
I find it so hard to tell my parents and my parents in law that they can not hold my baby. I am fine with them coming soon after birth just to watch my baby or touch his feet or hand. But holding is a different level, and I find it hard to say that boundary in advance😅
Hi. Just wondering the reason behind no visitors if recently jabbed? I’m agains vaccines I haven’t had any abs my baby wont be having any either x
I agree with you but some parents want visitors family or close friends that can support or help or just be able to talk I think your think everyone want what you want that not even true so be careful with what you tell others new parents just saying
Did you miss the beginning where I said “this is what works for my family, but you do what’s best for yours”? I am not responsible for someone else’s decisions. “Be careful” nitpick my lived experiences. ✌🏼
U don’t play around lol
If most women find out there pregnant at 4weeks
They only know they’re pregnant for 8.5 months
So where did 10 months come from?
9 months is 40 weeks.
Idk I agree that you need boundaries and what not, but I think it's a little cruel to not tell your family you are in labor and are about to deliver your baby. And to not allow them to see or meet the baby for 2 weeks? Like I could never do that to my family. How hurtful.. I think some people go a little overboard with "boundaries" and what not. Almost like a narcissistic power trip because they can. Idk. Just feels icky to me.
I’m really glad that you have that relationship with your family. Not all of us are that lucky and need these boundaries so that we can have a healthy relationship.
Love the jab rule
I'm vicariously embarrassed for how much confidence you have in things you're clearly wrong about.
That said, the boundaries are a good idea.
So glad you value your own opinion so much that you think you know what’s better for my child, my family, and my postpartum experience. The difference between you and me is that I am confident in my decisions and I’m not swayed by random strangers opinion on how I prioritize my family. ✌️
I dont think a lot of friends wanted to visit your baby with that attitude. You are not very friendly with visitors I guess. And if you gave me a document with rules about how I should behave with a baby, I wouldnt want to meet it. You make everything uncomfortable and exhausting. Thats not a normal behauviour
Let me guess - you don't know how to respect reasonable boundaries set by your loved ones.
Sounds like something one of those toxic mother in laws would say... if you cannot follow rules and instructions or respect boundaries you are the one with the problem
Someone doesn’t like to be told no
@@newp848 you got me, you are so good!
@@hiddenhand6973 thats right. Omg, you are so good! You have defined my personality with just one comment I made. Thanks 😘
I think keeping this precious new family member from meeting his/her family is selfish and unreasonable. Also thinking you can stop family from sitting in waiting room til any is born is over controlling. Waiting rooms are not within your control. You are encouraging division of families! Shame on you
Sounds like you're triggered because someone in your life set a healthy boundary with you because you have a problem knowing your place in the extended family dynamic. Mother + Baby + father is the only bonding that matters. ✌🏻
As someone who has experienced a mother in law who almost made my husband miss the birth of his second son because she needed help finding the waiting room and didn’t bother to call someone in the whole group of people already waiting in the waiting room I feel that she was very selfish. Also as a young mother with my first at 22yrs old having my mother and mother in law chatting away and just staring awkwardly as I’m in extreme pain due to them inducing me with extreme high levels of unnecessary pitocin was vary uncomfortable to say the least.. I’m now 37 and having my 6th and finally have enough sense to start putting my foot down.
I agree though because it’s family what if you have a grandma or somone who won’t live long god for bite wants to meet the baby
Selfish and unreasonable to set healthy boundaries that don’t include allowing you to dictate everything that will happen in the new parents and newborns lives? Sounds like you are the one with the problem. You are lucky I’m not the new mom in yr family cuz I would ban you and block you quick.