I'm sure some people will take the title/thumb as negativity toward Nikkie, but I really like her! Just using her story as a springboard for a BIGGER conversation..
The two people who NEED to know your trans status - Romantic partner - Physician (edit: for those saying "what about your parents and friends" well unless you've totally cut them off they are obviously going to know, but in terms of people you meet after transition these are the two people you should tell even if stealth)
Yes! I would argue that it could also be beneficial to tell close friends, just so they have a better understanding of your life story and experiences and can be understanding, but it's not necessary. I'd just personally be a bit sad if I had a close friend who I had known for years and they didn't feel comfortable sharing such a big part of themselves with me, you know? But, it's not morally wrong for them to keep it to themselves in that situation if they really don't wanna share.
Seriously people need to tell their doctors...you still have a prostate as a transwoman, still have a cervix as a transman those things are prone to cancer and need to be monitored...
genuinely proud of Nikkie for not using her transition as another cash bag but letting her talents shine through and making a name for herself. but not telling your S/O you used to have a completely different gender is definitely reckless.
She said she really regretted it though, I genuinely don't think she tried to be deceptive or reckless and she even told others to learn from her mistake.
"Just like they don't need to tell them they used to be a baby." That... that is the worst false equivalency I've heard in... god, I don't know. It might just be the worst false equivalency I've ever heard period.
Not telling an intimate partner that you're trans is basically equivalent to "stealthing", or akin to not telling a partner about an STD. It's withholding information that could very likely have the other person revoke their consent. There's a word for that.
I sort of get your point but it is not really a great comparison. STD’s can have horrible medical consequences beyond being mentally scared. Untreated clamydia in biological females can led to infertility and HIV will make it necessary take medication for the rest of your life. Stealthing also puts the female in risk of getting pregnant. I do a 100% agree that it is important to tell someone if you are trans.
Whoah, whoah, whoah, that's ridiculous. By that definition, a husband or wife not doing some chore around the house and lying about it to avoid souring a sexy moment together would qualify as rape. That's not fair. That's also information that would turn someone off from consent; you need to be careful with your definitions.
Yes! There was a trans girl here recently that was killed by a guy who, I guess, didnt know she was trans until after they had been physical. It's dangerous! You never know what other people will do, being upfront about it is just safer.
actually, we all start of 'female' in the womb (that is, we all start out with phenotypically female gonads). a fetus only becomes male in the womb when the Y chromosome is introduced. biology is crazy
There's a difference between honesty and transparency. Honesty is telling the truth when asked, and transparency is telling the truth even when you're not asked. You're supposed to be totally and completely transparent with the ones you love.
Yes but what transparency does NOT mean is going out of your way to introduce your current partner to exes and ruining your current relationship with it. I suppose that’s more boundaries and dealbreakers(keeping in contact with your exes in this case) though
People are literally INSANE to think you don’t have to tell tour partner your are a trans . And you are called transphobic???!! What world do we live in.
I’m not transphobic, however I believe it should be mentioned when dating. It’s deceitful not to say anything let the person decide if they’re ok with that.
When I first heard she was trans I thought she was gonna transition from female to male and then it clicked in my head that she’s male to female, I was so shocked
I’m gay and if I was hooking up with someone who said they were transgender without telling me I would be uncomfortable because I am not attracted to transgender people. And I don’t believe that is transphobic to say. Everyone has their types and I accept all people but I just don’t find transgender people attractive in that way. It’s important to disclose to someone.
Welcome Home yes thank you that’s like if I tried to trick a straight man into dating me it wouldn’t be right and they have their preferences that do not include myself
@@rdgloveshouse I guess you've never been about to hook up with someone and they said or did something that made you full stop and get tf out of that situation?
Your transphobic. Why do you think transgender people look ugly . Based on their identity makes them ugly? A trans man is a man not a trans man, a man. A trans woman is not a trans woman they are woman .
@@josephxxllolzxdashton1392 when did I say they are ugly? I said I’m not attracted to them. And I’m not transphobic so don’t just throw that word around lightly. I love and accept all trans people and have trans friends. They agree with me and it’s not transphobic. So watch your mouth.
“Trans women don’t need to tell men they used to be a boy just like they don’t need to tell men they used to be a baby.” Well first of, everyone was once a baby. That’s common sense. You don’t need to tell them, since they should already know. But if you used to be a boy and you haven’t told your partner, then obviously your partner doesn’t know that you were a boy. It’s not common sense.
I don’t know much about like the surgery trans people do, but are trans women able to have children..? I feel like if you aren’t capable of having children that should be something your partner knows off the bat because having kids might b rly important to them
@@joy5976 Trans women cannot have babies because they do not have a uterus. Their penis is used to make a vagina basically by splitting it and making a cavity inside them which is lined by the outer skin of the penis. I hope this answers your question. 🤓
@@ironlung7241 I wouldn't say all that, but it had crossed my mind more than once that she may be transgender. I think a lot of people saying they never would've guessed are saying it to be nice because I don't believe I'm the only one.
It's not just the big lie, it's all the little lies about menstruation, fertility, childhood experiences, medical issues, identity (license and birth certificates).... it's about character and morality... being able to lie every single day, about anything, no matter how small. You can't have an honest relationship based on lies.
@dumb bitch just because they may not be lying to one person about the same thing everyday doesnt mean they dont lie everyday to others and themselves. Everyday they look in the mirror at themselves they lie.
dumb bitch I think they didn’t meant literally everyday and literally every day talking about the period, they just meant very often there are little lies here and there. Not in everyday life, but since being transgender is a big part of one’s personal history, there’s just this huge chunk of time “missing” which need to be filled with artificiality. Also there might not be lies per se, but but a general silence/avoiding to talk about things.
Exactly! During the "getting to know you" process, typically you ask about past relationships and what you've learned from them (or why they didn't work) etc. This includes whether or not you've been married before, or....I don't know...that you used to be the opposite sex!!!
I mean, I had an abortion but I don't think I've told some partners-- I don't even remember tbh because it's not their business and it was like fifteen years ago.
"Why would you want to be with them if that's a deal breaker" that honestly sums up why honest communication about any topic is so important. If you set boundaries on what you feel is important and if the person you are dating doesn't have the same mindset why would you want to be with them long term? (Note: I know no ones gonna agree on everything that's why its important to have dealbreakers vs things that you can disagree about and still support each other on)
You better speak the truth, I always tell my trans sisters "bitch if you think telling him you're trans is a deal breaker, why the fuck would you still want him"
For sure. But I think that some things can be intimate and difficult to disclose, especially if it's related to trauma. I can imagine it might also change the way people look at you, especially if they barely know you, so I think it's understandable to want to get to know the other person and establish trust first. In a way, it might be easier to disclose that you wouldn't date a trans person/rape survivor/infertile women, instead of expecting them to disclose it on the first date, even if it might be a deal breaker for some. Relationships are built on honesty and trust, but not necessarily laying out your whole history on the first date. Sometimes people will freak out just because they were attracted to you, even if you tell them right away, and I can't really blame trans people for wanting to be safe. Often being stealth is being safe, and coming out is very vulnerable. Of course, if it doesn't come out long term, that's probably bad, and if you haven't had genital surgery it should hopefully come up before you get intimate, just like anything else that could be very unexpected in that ballpark(huehue).
In an age, where consent is so talked about you'd think people would get that if someone doesn't have all the information they cannot give full consent.
Turquoise Cheetah i agree, i can see this as a form sexual assault. Especially if you are a girl thinking you are with a girl whos really a boy and can EASILY hold you down and shit..not saying that would happen, but realistically. Nowadays it is VERY easy to be a unpredictable sexual predator
@Turquoise Cheetah Your condoning murder and no matter the situation, that's never an acceptable solution. Its sad that's a thing to consider but your justifying extreme measures and that says a lot about who you are as a person. If you don't trust your partner enough to be 💯 with them then you shouldn't be engaged in a sexual relationship, period.
As a lesbian that likes lady parts you absolutely should tell your partner if you’re trans or not. Its not going to be announced publicly, it stays between you two. It’s important that you’re aware of what both of you are getting into. I wouldn’t date a pre-transitioned women because I don’t like biological male parts. Edit: I absolutely love Blaire and I only edited because of typos;;
Completely agree. As a straight woman, I don't care about female 'private parts' (I have my own, and that's enough, ty)... so if you're dickless, you gotta tell me!
I feel like the only people who need to know ARE romantic partners. And they do need to know. It made me a little uncomfortable to know that she didn't disclose the information to her fiance.
it did make me uncomfortable as well, but when she said that you should tell your partner, and learn from her mistakes, it made me feel better, because she was taking accountability by saying she shouldn't have done that, and doesn't condone this behavior.
I agree they dont need to tell everyone if they dont want too but partners yes and before it gets any kind of serious because thats what triggers violent responces from guys is getting attached to what they think is a woman and then bam they get hit with that in not saying violence in any way is ok but just starting what makes them do it
i’m a lesbian and if i was with a trans women and she didn’t tell me i’d feel lied to and violated, that’s a important part of their life and does change things in a relationship.
john smith it’s hard to understand that it wasn’t funny and it was disrespectful? Lesbians get made fun of all the time and people always talk about how they just need to have sex with a real men, I’m not even going to continue with this since you are just going to ignore what I said and answer me with a short and “funny” answer but what I do think it’s funny is that someone like you is on this kind of video making fun of lesbians lmao maybe one day you’ll realize
@john smith I'm lesbian and many also don't use strap ons, and penis disgusts me more than anything. It's the ugliest part of the human body of either gender. Vagina is far superior. So you're wrong lol
Ppl in these comment trying to put together false scientific fact to validate this is just cringy. First of all if you engage in an intimate relationship with someone without disclosing such a huge factor like this that plays a huge role in who you are then that straight up fraud. Don't victimize yourself and try and validate stupidity. Hiding such a thing is straight up immature
Amen👏👏 I understand some people dont think Sex is a big deal or intimate (one night stands hook ups etc) but it is it should be about trust so you don't put yourself in harm's way. You are exceedingly vulnerable in that position you've placed yourself in far too often we see headlines for all genders and sexual identities being harmed because of unsafe practices We all need to be more informed and safer.
I have noticed a lot of members of the LGBTQ like to victimize themselves in the dating subject. Not all. But it's what I see frequently and its just cringeeee.
I can kind of see why she didn’t tell him sooner. She transitioned really young, she never told anyone, and their relationship got serious really fast. But I think that would be really hard to find out someone you love is trans after the fact. I think it would make them feel lied to and maybe cause trust issues. Not to mention if they ever talked about having children. I hope it doesn’t hurt their relationship and I’m glad she used her own situation to spread the awareness to tell your partner if you are trans. Because she could have left the whole story of her relationship out completely.
I didn't even consider the children aspect of this. That must be kinda devastating for her fiance even if he's completely on board with everything else.
Chinchilla hats it’s going to hurt worse if you leave it for so long, and I do feel bad for her fiancé because he may have wanted to have kids with her and have that experience with her, I hope they get through it because they clearly love eachother but this may be a dealbreaker
Aislin Lindsay totally agree. Though I just found out that I might not be able to get pregnant myself. When in a relationship do u tell such a thing? I mean obviously before marriage! But idk I have just been thinking about it lately, when in dating is it too soon and when is not sharing this info lying? Just sharing my own dilemma haha
She could've kept this secret to her grave if she wanted. Just saying... they could've been married til death do them part and he'd never have to know...
I would definitely be devastated that someone I love lied to me for so long about something so important. It has nothing to do with them but has everything to do with trust.
Iris Berlo that is transphobic because the person who you have been sleeping with is male, but the adjective describing them is trans, they are a trans male, you would be sleeping with a male. However if it was a relationship the issue would lie in the not being open about entering into a partnership with someone, but having sexual relations with a man who happens to be trans should not illicit such an aggressive and disturbing response from you, regardless of whether or not you were okay with it unless you directly questioned their gender identity you consented to sexual relations with a man who happened to be trans.
@@niamhemilydoyle8701 stop. They're not transphobic because they have a personal fucking preference. How about have some fucking nuance to your position. If the person generally is only attracted to biological female/Male and wants to create a family with them then that is their right to do so. Stop taking peoples right to choose who they love away from them by guilting them into fucking people they dont want to fuck. Its gross af. You fucking date a trans male guy if you want to.
2 things you failed to mention: 1. Some people want kids out of a relationship, usually biological, which is something a trans person may not be able give their partner without medical wizardry. This is also compounded by your point on honesty in a relationship. 2. The analogy used in the post doesn't follow since all people used to be babies but not all people used to be the opposite gender. EDIT: Clarified point 1 due to the combo of homosexuality and lack of bottom surgery.
Ppl who let the possibility of biological kids become a deal breaker in a relationship upset me ngl. There's so many good kids out there who need homes! It makes 0 difference. 😔
Like personally I'd love to have kids one day, but Id never wanna go through a pregnancy, abd plenty other girls nowadays feel the same. Why you not love me bc I don't want to pop a baby out for u 😭
As a bisexual I wouldn’t mind being with a transgender (doesn’t mean every bi has to) but I can understand if you are straight and it doesn’t match with you. There are people who don’t mind being in a relationship with a trans person and some who do and you have to respect that. Not telling them is just wrong
Indecisive N.E.E.T Idk how it is for Elise Jackson but I think understand what they meant.... For me it’s not about of the genitals (bc again, I’m bi so idc) but it’s the type of personality m to f trans people have. They tend to be on the girly side which is fine for some people but I’m not necessarily attracted to girly girls. I’m more into people with “gender neutral” tendencies so for example girls with masculine aspects. But I will stay open minded maybe I’ll change my mind some day
@@Bro-tl1ev you answer is the complete opposite of mine. I could do mtf but not ftm. I like girly girls. I have another realize but that is a lot hard to explain and has to do with my sexual practices with each gender.
I don't mind either but I would still like to know nonetheless because I personally feel like that's important basic information about your partner and if my trans partner didn't tell me they were trans until months or years after dating I would be disappointed they felt like they couldn't tell me.
I tell women I have HPV even though I have no physical symptoms - and I wear a rubber. But it's their right and prerogative to know what they're getting in to, and to refuse if they choose.
I'm straight and personally don't know if I could have a relationship with a transperson as I've never been in that situation. But, It would be so much more positive to know that they were willing to be really honest at the start. My current partner shared a very personal piece of information on the 2nd date and still to this day I am thankful that I was informed about it. It made me understand them better and I could discuss and ask questions in a candid way.
I agree. I always tell my partners I am transgender. One of my friends had sex with a friend he didn’t know was trans. If it’s a one night stand I get it, but they’re apparently friends... It’s just kinda... a trust issue. Kinda like how with STDs, undetectable is not transmittable. Like being trans, they can’t detect it, but you want to know if your partner has had an STD for trust and psychological reasons, even if they cannot get it. Hard to explain, best analogy I thought of.
This really should be one of the first thing ppl should say. I’m pretty confident that MOST straight guys out there, like myself, wouldn’t wanna date a transgender female. Not trynna be offensive but I can assure you most straight males take this very seriously and will feel violated if they were told at a later time. Plus, it would really be a waste of time to not tell a guy this. You can do w.e you want or be whoever you wanna be as long as you respect other ppl.
Pardon my English, but not only that, I think it could also be harmful for the transwoman. Anger of someone that was being deceited/lied on could be scary and or fatal. Let's say the one who are being deceited is a straight male-or anyone stronger. She could be assaulted due to that 'burst of a moment of anger' - and even kil_d. Someone actually really said he'd end up kil_ng them if he was being deceited. And I don't blame these guys either. Because when anger controls, common sense gone. Especially when it comes about feeling.
@@zenldh You're not wrong. Transpeople have been murdered for not informing their partner of their biological sex status. No one should be murdered for their life choices that don't affect anyone but themselves, so it's always tragic, but love, sex, and relationships are full of powerful emotions. Being deceived like that with someone you cared for can cause the exact opposite emotions to come out. And then tragedies occur and life is lost.
@@zagorith14 they are not murdered for their life choices, they are murdered for what should be classed as rape/ sexual assault. If a woman killed her rapist everyone would be applauding her but when trannies get killed for lying or not disclosing it then they are the victims!
Literal, people are lying themselved lol literally nobody knew she was trans, not even thought on that. There wasn't a single comment saying or asking if she was trans
Literally a month ago I talked to this guy and told him that I'm trans a couple of days into our conversation and he actually told me it is a problem for him and even though I saw this going a little further but I knew it was the right thing and things like this just makes me feel even better about me ending it as soon as possible. I hate people who doesn't tell their date they're trans. Miss me with that bullshit
as a bisexual guy, my date being trans is not a deal breaker... Not being TOLD prior to intimacy that they are trans is a deal breaker. I have MASSIVE trust issues, and if 'they' cannot trust me enough to tell me, and give me a minute or three to shift gears in my head... then how in the HELL am I supposed to trust them?
FLEUR Thank you for setting the right example and please be safe out there ! Life can be very dangerous for all women, and trans women especially. People are more open now and I think with you being honest, there are plenty of men who will appreciate that and love to date you.
I’d probably tell any girlfriend I have that I’m autistic (I’m diagnosed with Aspergers), especially when it has certain effects on my behaviour, and understanding and interpretation of certain situations, like being in crowded places and social situations. Does that mean that I could possibly be rejected? Yes, absolutely. But I’d rather do it so she’s fine with being with someone who’s autistic. And when it comes to dating someone who’s trans, I probably might. I wouldn’t have a problem with dating a trans woman, especially if she’s pretty feminine, but I would still see it as good form for her to tell me, especially when it would have effects on certain parts of our life together, and coming from a more Christian background, I see marriage as being rather important to say the least, and I’d want to be able to marry her and be with her for the rest of our lives. The idea that it’s OK to hide such important things from the person you love the most is pretty awful, imo, and it shouldn’t be encouraged at all.
I always told my partners about my autism and physical disabilities. Honesty is very important, and sometimes being autistic comes with odd behaviors, and is genetic to kids. Not everyone wants to deal with autistic children. I wouldn't want someone to be with me out of guilt or because I had to convince them to stay.
I was in a long distance relationship with a girl who was diagnosed with aspergers. She had gotten a second opinion at some point while we were in the early stages of our relationship and waited until she was officially diagnosed before telling me. I care about her a lot, she is a great person. Very funny, smart, interesting. I love how she gives her honest opinion when I ask for it. There are a lot of things I love about her, but being long distance was very challenging. I feel like if she was neurotypical the long distance aspect would have been a lot easier but at the same time she wouldn’t be the same person/the person I loved. I’m glad she told me early on about her diagnosis, the diagnosis didn’t change how I felt about her at all
I have aspergers and I usally tell me people as soon as I meet them. I also have SPD so I dont do touching. Idk if I would date a guy yet because I still let my problems get in the way.
Not telling someone is literally stealing the ability to fully consent to a relationship. This is wrong. I could never forgive someone who lied to me in this way
Its rape. Imagine how a lesbian would feel if she realised she'd been duped into sleeping with a man. It should be illegal to hide this info before becoming intimate as you have taken away the other person consent.
No. You need to tell any romantic partner, or love interest, that you were born male or female and decided to transition into opposite sex. They HAVE the right to know and DESERVE to know. It doesn’t make you transphobic. That transphobic card is getting very old. And no. You don’t wait several months to tell them. You tell them right away, before you get to the date.
Define "trick" if you're going to make absolute statements like that. A trick can be a very harmless thing or a very malicious thing, and you need to be conscious of that spectrum of behavior.
@@Arcania9516 I don't think it is wrong to love unconditionally. Remember when the unibomber's brother got a million for turning in his brother? I asked my father about it and he said, "I wouldn't turn in my brother for a million dollars but I would turn my brother in for being the unibomber. It is the same for a child. You can love someone and still do the next right thing.
One of my ex-boyfriends - who I dated for quite some time - randomly brought up to me that he was transgender and was in the process of researching how to transition. I'm gay and not attracted to women (trans or otherwise), so I told him that I couldn't stay with him after that. What followed was me being accused of transphobia and everything else you'd expect. Am I transphobic for wanting to date a man because of my sexuality and NOT a woman/trans woman? Edit: Thank you for the support! I've been mulling it over in my head for a couple years now and keeping it to myself, so its nice to get other people's opinions on the matter and get it off my chest. Much appreciated!
RegularShowMemorabilia the hate you got makes me sad. It blows my mind that people are so "woke" now that they no longer accept different sexual orientations, like people expect everyone to be pansexual and that's it. Gays and lesbians fought so hard for acceptance and it seems like society is in danger of going backwards. Sexual preferences are valid and ok!
A friend of mine had a similar experience when he was dating a female who was transitioning to male. He (then she) attacked said friend into staying with him and told him he was being transphobic, and all he could do was sit there and say "I like girls, and after this you will no longer consider yourself a girl. I'm transphobic, I'm just not attracted to guys"
RegularShowMemorabilia absolutely not. As you said, you’re gay. If they transition to a girl it wouldn’t make since for you to continue the relationship
I don't understand why this is so big of a deal... She said that she did wrong and she explained why and that sounded reasonable, it makes sense that she was afraid. She also recommended to always tell your SO the truth and finally, they are OK with this. Again, I don't understand why everyone need to say over and over again that this is wrong c'mon we all know it's wrong
@@kevinmaceleven5806 yeah its still scary, but if youd have any common sense or decency youd realise it's both your own and the person you're telling's best interests.
I hate those “he didn’t know I was transgender!” Videos so damn much. The titles and thumbnails give off strong “I’m so quirky” vibes, and it all seems so manipulative and deceptive (which it honestly is).
devontodetroit I agree. I’ve only met one person ever where it wasn’t obvious to me and she transitioned before puberty. And it’s not only trans people. You can tell if a cis woman had work done as well especially when it comes to boobs and lips
@@fabreo4041 to me personally, being intimate with someone doesn't mean I trust them,I only trust myself and no one else,but u said it's best to be truthful which is true I do agree on that, but I wouldn't lie to them if they ask, I'll just say "it's not important, so don't worry about it"
Imagine being a wait until marriage kind of person getting married and then hearing on wedding night "oops I'm actually trans hope that's not a problem."
Reminds me about the CSI episode where a couple was like that. Girl went so far as to leave open pads with blood on them in the trash to make her fiance think she was getting her period
That reminds me of an awful commercial i saw a few years ago. I don't even know what it was about, probably condoms or something, but basically the guy and the girl just got home after their wedding night and she goes to use the bathroom, and he sees her standing to piss, and his face is horrified. She turns and smirks and then thats the end of the commercial. Yeah....
@hello Are you a sadist or something? Murder and deception are not on equal grounds, one is obviously much worse than the other. I hate anyone who lies to their partner esp about being the gender opposite to what was assumed BUT murdering someone with a hammer is just insane and speaks more about how psychotic that person is than it does about the trans deceiving said person. You're fucked up if you think they deserved to die such a brutal agonising death.
Thora Friganza it’s important to tell because they were not born as a woman. Meaning they cannot give birth, have period etc. when they go to the hospital they STILL must identify as a males.
Yeah exactly. Imo you should disclose it before starting to actually flirt. So if you're the type to flirt outright, say it up front, but if you're the type to take your time and meet a few times to discuss before starting to flirt, then it's not any more of a priority than any other potential deal breaker. I'm kinda annoyed at those who're like "Say it now! Before you even have conversations! Before even dating once!" Like chill, you don't know the person yet and you're allowed to end the prospect yourself without having disclosed it if you think the other person's an asshole about those things. If dating pool is small-ish in your area, saying it to the wrong person could mean being basically outed to your whole age group where you live. And you have the right to protect your private life.
No it is not. Trans people go through great lengths to mask their natural features so a str8 man or woman flirting with a trans is doing so bc they think they're casually getting to know another str8 man or woman. Be str8 up and don't waste peoples time.
I don't think you have to do it before flirting at all, otherwise you may never flirt at all. Just don't string them along for an extended period before disclosing it.
@@CaptainCocaine Kudos! You definitely don't have to open your first conversation with someone saying "hi i'm trans btw". But it's important to disclose it fairly soon as you get to know eachother better otherwise the other person might felt lied to
I’m relatively new to the channel, I may have said something like this before, it was hard for me to accept the trans community because I just thought they’re weird, (which some of them are; “IT’S MA’AM!”) but Blaire has helped me to become more accepting and show that a lot of them are good people just trying to live their lives. I still probably wouldn’t wanna date a trans girl, certainly not marry one, because I wanna be able to have kids, that’s kind of a big deal. I don’t know why you wouldn’t tell your romantic partner you’re trans. I’m sorry but if we go in the bedroom and pull the pants down and there’s a dick instead of a vagina, that’s a deal breaker.
I was just talking about how it was wrong she didn’t alert him before. The thing is, so many trans people get killed from lying about that kind of stuff.
I guess since she fully transitioned at a young age, it may not have mattered as much when they started dating? (Besides being infertile) I agree though, it’s better to be upfront and honest instead of experiencing heartbreak (on both sides) in the end
Or that they’re only comfortable with sleeping with natural women and as long as they support trans people it doesn’t matter who they don’t want to sleep with ^^
I like to drop the literal 'copy and paste' definition of whatever 'phobic' people throw around. Too many people use it to validate their own feelings of importance by cherry picking words/ changing definitions to things that fit their opinions to make you look bad.
@@empresskarebear7519 Omg yes. Like, how about people with actual phobias? The word phobia used in these terms has always bothered me so much. Like, I doubt there's a lot of people who go in to a literal panic mode and possibly need medication to calm down when they see two men kissing or someone talking about trans rights. And if there is, they should seek help.
Transgender people need to respect people's preferences. If someone doesn't want to have sex with you just leave them alone. Everyone has preferences and some people prefer cis people. Everyone's preferences matter and are valid. If someone doesn't want you then move on and go after someone who does want you. And just because someone may prefer cis people that doesn't mean that person is transphobic. Hiding you are trans from your romantic partner is predatory, selfish and sneaky. Why want someone who doesn't want you?
I think some trans people have covered themself (and the entire trans community) in a huge victim blanket, making them feel entitled to anyone they want, and if they get rejected they can pull the transphobia card. Bullying people into sleeping with you is fucking rape
I mean it may sound dumb, but if the guy expects all the 'female parts' and is being flashed a d*** instead, isn't that like se**ual as**lt of some sort? Like they didn't consent to what is happening? Does that make any sense?
Deadassss. Personally for me it’s a deal breaker but child we could still be friends 🤪 just tell me straight up. If I’m lied too ima be pissed. I won’t kill anyone but sheet just know they might get socked
That’s like saying you don’t need to mention your HIV+ in your relationship like since when do people get to decide what the other person deserves to know 𝙎𝙈𝙁𝙃
I don’t think it’s quite the same HIV can kill you and be passed to another person I agree not saying your trans can feel like someone has been lied to but it cannot kill you or be passed to you
@@l9kl294 absolutely not a Weird comparison. The point is, there should be full disclosure before sexual contact, IFFF you're not stating it, it's because you know they'd likely revoked consent.
I think that's fair. I can understand that coming out as trans to your partner can be difficult. It's not exactly a good conversation starter. But it's just best to get it over with. Hell, they'd probably respect that trans person more for it.
I’m not trans.. but I can’t stop binge watching her videos because she is shedding so much light right now on the trans community. I’ve never heard such amazing insight and opinions on being transgender from someone who is transgender.
I'd be angry, not that I wasn't told that I'm dating a transwoman in itself but the fact that I WASN'T TOLD UNTIL LATER. Honesty is a huge thing with me and I won't date someone who's hidden something huge yet claims to care about me.
@Kali Southpaw some people who really care about passing and presenting as the opposite sex have done such an amazing job at it that they legit pass and most people wouldnt know at the first look... Blaire i knew was trans because she acts like my friend damian.. Facial expressions and body language alike. No need to be rude.
Galork Bear-son the bigger question I have is, why is the silent majority staying silent about this behavior? Why is the silent majority allowing e radical vocal minority dictate these stupid ideas? Where is the LGBT politicians speaking out against trans people hiding their transitions? Where are the organizations like GLAAD that speak out against this? Oh wait, they don’t, they promote and endorse this idea.
A girl I hit on stopped me mid flirt and was like I'm transgender.....I was like wait Really? She said yes and I was like damn girl you look Good an I'd never know she was transgender cause she's very passable I know some hate that term but let's be honest that's the goal when you're a trans person.
L L and I never said I would do this so “you” doesn’t pertain to me but I’m playing devil’s advocate and just letting you know that that is what some people do. People lie, literally all the time. Doesn’t make it right. Most women go to an obgyn alone all the time, so it’s a possibility. Again, I’m not advocating lying to your partner but it happens just like being an adulterer happens in some relationships.
Thinking that telling your partner you’re trans is on the same level of necessity as telling them you were once a baby is an incredibly idiotic statement. All people were once babies, not all people are trans; those things are in entirely different ballparks and thus not at all comparable. If you truly love your partner, you don’t keep secrets from them. Not telling them you’re trans is keeping your transsexuality a secret from them. Transitioning is an extremely important and huge part of a trans person’s life and your partner has the right to know important things about your life like that and you should not take that right from them. If they think you being trans is a dealbreaker, then you leave them behind and move on to someone who loves you unconditionally. PSA before people interpret this the wrong way; I’m refering to what was said in the Instagram comment shown in the beginning, not to anything Blaire said.
David Pavlas some people wanna go deep stealth, and it’s the only way to help their dysphoria. I’m sorry you wanna force all trans people to be visible
Wolfette Plays I’m sorry you took my comment out of context like that. I obviously wasn’t talking about those people, as those people are not who the video is about.
Thank you. I’m not a transgender but I’m one of those people who can’t be with a transgender. Everyone should do what they want but I know that I could never love them the way that they deserve. Another point is that I don’t fully agree with transition (it’s their choice but this is my opinion) and if my boyfriend would tell me he’s trans I couldn’t be together with him romantically. I can’t describe or reason why I just can’t. So thanks
You don't need to "love" someone to tell them this. I think this should be said to anyone you even plan to date. That's like I'm (name) (last name) and i am transgender.
@@dtsotm that's a non-sequitur. Perhaps no one ever explained this to you but it's not all about you. Disclose trans status, & orientation up front -- prior to contact -- and then no one would be enraged or freaked out for being tricked or for participating in something against their convictions or orientation. Of course if they do hurt someone that'd be wrong but it is both childish and selfish to think you can impose your sexuality (which may be different than the person you lied to by omission) on anyone-- that's equivalent morally to forcing yourself on someone. Same goes for not disclosing std's (safety concerns) or marital status (safety and morality concerns). People who disclose infidelity though put the burden of their immoral behavior onto their partner. Unless you've risked their health by being too selfish to practice safe contact or there could be a kid running around with your DNA, or unless you plan to continue cheating, keep your infidelity to yourself. Especially if your original relationship is over. Otherwise you're disclosing it to hurt your partner and unburden yourself from your horrible behavior.
r vinlago i’m not trans so your misdirected rant is pretty redundant. and what sexuality is being imposed?? trans women are women, it’s not their fault that some men are so insecure in their own sexuality that they resort to murder. you do realise that there are people who literally seek out trans women just so they can murder them, kind of like what happens to gay men in russia? you say ‘if’ as if trans women being murdered on a first date is hypothetical. it’s not. it’s an epidemic.
Deceiving anyone for sexual gain is super cringy and gives me rapey vibes like if you know they wouldn't consent if you disclosed whatever information it may be your withholding, then it isn't real consent. Consent is based on honesty and this is just predatory behavior.
My husband is transgender (ftm) and made the decision to transition after we’d been married for 14-15 years... That’s a whole different thing, of course. But I just wanted to establish my background. Here’s my take on telling a date about your transgender status: It’s just about honesty. Fundamental facts about your life should shared if you’re going to have any change at a healthy, long-term commitment. “I’m a single dad.” “I have HIV.” “I have schizophrenia.” “I’m a Pete Buttigieg voter.” Anything that could impact the chances of a successful relationship. Okay, sure, maybe it’s not what you open the conversation with the first time you meet for coffee or during your initial flirtation at the dog park... But it should be sooner rather than later.
Honestly when Nikkie came out as trans I thought she meant that she was gonna start using male pronouns and stop doing makeup tutorials. I don't know how I would feel if my husband said he was born female I mean I probably would get over it but the deception to begin with isn't right. And just imagine how the trans person must feel knowing they are treating their story as some horrible secret. Nope, openness is key. If the other person isn't down with that, find someone new. Life is too short to be miserable.
People have a right to their sexual identity. even if it doesn’t make you “gay” to sleep with a trans girl it still can be something that changes how you grow your identity. It is so gross to disrespect people’s right to informed consent because you want to get some.
But isn’t it okay for trans women to WAIT to tell about their identity before they feel safe/secure w/ their boyfriend. I think many transwomen are afraid they will be in physical danger by telling the truth.
@@BlackkCobra Don't build a relationship on a lie in the first place. If the other party doesn't want to be with you because of it, keep it moving. It's much more dangerous to string someone along for ages and tell them LATER than to do so upfront when first meeting or going out imo.
@@BlackkCobra waiting more than 5-minutes to tell someone that you're a biological male massively increases the chance of an angry response! Telling a straight man that your biologically male after any kind of intimacy has taken place is as unwise as it is unfair.
@@BlackkCobra Straight up FUCK NO. Lying is lying and waiting is lying. It shouldn't reach the point for when a trans and the "same sex" become lovers/together, that's just fucked up periodt. Trans people get a lot of hate but no matter what, they made the decision to become trans along with all of the other issues it brings. it should NEVER reach that stage. No physical sexual contact should be made unless the person has knowledge of their transition as that's just disrespectful, don't know about their religion, personal beliefs.. you just dont know. Trans men/women can be trans but at once stage of their life they were the opposite sex. Trans women especially are becoming ridiculously hard to pick out and tell the difference there's too much lying going on and that shit needs to stop. I'm a straight male and if i found out i was dating a trans i'd be furious. For a straight male, that is considered GAY no matter what they look like. You don't automatically grow ovaries now... come on now this is common sense. Don't tell lies and everything's nice
Andrew Joseph Actually no one knows in the specific instance of Nikkie so neither can accurately be said whether they did or did not. But, if A Little Bit of Everything paid attention, Blair stated the video isn’t specifically about Nikkie but about the greater topic in general if you need to disclose it to your partner. The original comment that was responded to by A Little Bit of Everything wasn’t directed about the Nikkie situation exclusively but they responded to it if it was anyways.
As a Transwoman myself, I've always prided myself with being open about my trans status on my dating profile, and always clarifying that with a potential partner. I've had arguments in the past with other Transwomen who feel that it's silly to disclose this. I'm 100 % on board with honesty, because when entering a relationship it's unfair for us to be deceptive, but to expect honesty in return. I'm proud of Nikkie, and frankly whatever happens with Dylan is their business. I wish them the best and her much love and support. Great video Blaire !! Thanks for doing a video on this, it's super important to have this mentioned.
Carmen Walker I’ve broken a relationship off because of this. We got to the bedroom and she was mad that she didn’t get what she wanted. I told her that I wasn’t into that and excused myself but that could have gone a lot worse for everyone. so yes, always tell your potential partners. Edit: I’m not saying you would wait that late to tell your partner, just that it’s important not to.
When Nickie said that her parnter was shocked and “dealing with it” I was like uh oh. I hope their relationship doesn’t take a sour turn from this. Good for her that she was honest, but she should have been honest at the very beginning of their relationship
@Moon Rise hmm. Kind of like what a vagina is. You should check surgery videos. Those look like realistic vaginas. Then again, I doubt you'd recognize one even when presented.
@@iliveinaconstantstateoffea9634 surgery does not make a vagina, it makes a flesh hole where balls n a penis used to be. Vaginas and the reproductive organs of a woman are God made, (it's a sacred thing being a woman and having the responsibilities that come with that from the DAY we are born FROM a woman's body.) Surgery smurgery, so tired of ppl plastering implants in their breasts and paying for a man-made hole and thinking that's all it takes to be a woman, boobs and a vagina hole...NOPE, not even close!!
Its harder to pass if you are being sexual with a transman as there are no penis transplant surgeries that produce sperm. Its easier for trans women to trick people sexually
Not hating on nikkie but I think that if she wouldn't have been blackmailed she would have never told him. Not to mention that I have the feeling that she just told him once she got "caught". I'm happy for her, I've been following her since 2011 but I think she should've told him from the beginning just as Blair said.
Well they need to know. Imagine if you were with this wonderful girl, around 7 years together, a real beauty and you suddenly wanna have kids with her (she obviously has a man made vegane). She will have to explain why that is impossible, she might use the infertility excuse so you do some fertility treatments with her and you discover she is trans. What hurts you the most isnt the fact that she is trans, but that she lied about something SO important. She lied by omition. If she can lie about such a fact, imagine the rest Thats how I see it, at least.
This is another reason why I feel it's important to mention what you want in the future within the first few dates, so you know you're both on the same page. If they *still* deceive you after knowing that... there is a special place for them.
I mean, I'd be pretty traumatized if I found out a guy I had something with was trans. And I'm actually quite open about that, but the not knowing and knowing afterwards part would feel like rape honestly, I didn't consent to sleeping with a biological woman and yet I was made to through trickery. If I knew beforehand I would make my decision and probably be fine with it, but not knowing and being tricked would feel horrible. Who knows, maybe it already happened and I'll never know!
Agree. I'm a straight woman and I want normal men, not women disguised as men. I would physically hurt that woman for lying to me, if that ever happened. Not sorry. 🤷🏻♀️
Can I ask why? Like, if you couldn’t tell unless they told you, what would be traumatizing to you? (I am also an advocate for being transparent about sex and gender before dating, I just don’t understand the traumatizing part)
@@adri9795 Really hard to say, it's not a rational thing obviously, it's emotional, and all hypothetical. It would probably be like a straight man sleeping with a trans woman without knowing it, you feel like you were tricked into sleeping with a gender you are actually not attracted to. Or similar to sleeping with someone and then learning they are your sibling or a close cousin and they knew but you didn't. If you had known the full picture you would have made a different decision or made the decision accepting the circumstances. I hope this answers it for you, otherwise feel free to keep poking at me, this is not a rock solid opinion I'm aware.
When I realized she hadn't told her man until she was being blackmailed, my first reaction was "What if he wanted kids? And this is how he finds out?" Glad someone else mentioned it. To date and get engaged and still not tell your man? I have watched every reaction and no one would say it. Granted, if they worked it out, great! But... it was just my first thought.
If you ask some crazy people (Chase Ross for example) he says that is still not a valid reason. This asshat went on to say that it shouldn’t matter and if you don’t want to date a trans person because you want your own biological child with your partner then you’re still transphobic since you could just adopt. Like he went off and tried to shame people about that.
What if someone married a biological woman who ended up being infertile for other reasons? It's really not that uncommon, should they stop loving/want to leave their spouse because of it, FUCK NO. they would likely find another way like adoption or a surrogate. "Maybe they want kids" is such a shallow way to hide your transphobia
Jennifer West that was my thought. So many cishet couples cant have children for medical reasons beyond their control. Some people are straight up born with a vagina and no uterus. Marrying a cis women doesn’t guarantee you biological children.
@@eclaire1748 I actually agree on this like if the conversation of kids comes up between you and your S.O. you should totally be like "oh well I'm transgender so I can't have biological children" but that's definitely a conversation that should happen long before things get majorly serious between you (personally I cant stand kids and really dont want them, my husband DESPERATELY wants them, we are working through it) but I feel like just like the conversation about being trans in general, it shouldn't HAVE to be the entire footing of your relationship, when it comes up, it comes up, it should be as simple as that. I think straight up denying it is definitely a problem, but forcing a seriously uncomfortable conversation on the first date definitely shouldn't be expected of trans people.
I’m not trans but I do have a lot of issues espically relating to my mental health. I have bpd and I need to make that clear w any new relationship because they need to know just in case I have an episode or if they find out In some way I don’t want it to be a shock! I feel like espically being in a relationship that is very important I told my girlfriend immediately that I had bpd even b4 we got serious and I feel like it should be like that with any part of yourself! You have to share every aspect of yourself w your partner even those that you were ashamed of. This includes being trans!
Emerson Rose I did something similar when I met my now partner, in one of our first talks I told him I was chronically ill and then explained my illness to him, it’s something you can’t tell by looking at me, but is a massive part of my life. I figured if he couldn’t handle being with an ill person then fair enough, but at least I’d know before I got attached to him. He actually was familiar in looking after someone with a very similar illness, so he got it straight away and didn’t care at all ^_^
Danielle Dougal yea I do this also cause it’s part of my bpd because afraid of abandonment so i figure that it’s better people finding out right away b4 I get attached
same. i told my fiance when we started dating of my mental issues. tho i told him few weeks or a month of us dating that im autistic. he didnt understand autisim and didnt tink i have it but after being together for awhile he understands it now. it made ot of hills to climb over in our relationship thus why it was important to tell him before. cus now he had grown with me and learn to understand autisim and if anything he is very much more understanding compared to before we dated. :) trust, honesty, respect, loyality, and love are very important for any relationship. tho i hope nikkie told him before he proposed cus thsts a huge milstone in a relationship :/
Emerson Rose thank you! Didn’t dare to state a similar thing because people can get mad about that. As in equating being trans to being mentally ill. So thanks again. I’m very up front about my illnesses myself and I think that is crucial. Because it’s not phobic or discrimination if a potential partner would not be able to deal with an ill partner. It’s just not! It’s a thing that takes a toll on lifestyle, family and for some even children or other big decisions about the future. Doesn’t mean they hate me.
Think about this: would you want to date someone who did drugs? Even though they were high functioning and they kept it secret (without you even suspecting because they’re high functioning) from you? I’m sure most wouldn’t and would feel lied to. This is the same thing. You’re supposed to tell the other person things about yourself like that.
I think the trans aspect wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me when it comes to dating but hearing it late would cause some serious trust issues! I would also want to know if my partner is for example bi or infertile or has health issues... it's about trust!
@Mandy I can see your point and I think it's not worth mentioning in the first dates but in my relationship I want that we can be open about our sexuality, not that it matters that much but I feel it's just part of getting to know that special someone
@Mandy You should tell your partner you're bi when you guys are getting serious. I just think they should know that you're attracted to men and women. Also, a lot of people *do not* feel comfortable being in a relationship with bisexual people. If you're LGBT and you're in a heterosexual relationship, then your partner should know that you're LGBT.
@Lacey Kean Yeah, it does. Your partner isn't always going to be tolerant of it. Some girls would be uncomfortable knowing that their boyfriend sleeps with both men and women and vice versa. There is a lot of hate and discomfort towards bisexuality and that really sucks, but yes, of course it's worth mentioning to your SO. I'm not saying it's as serious or as important as telling your partner that you're trans, but if you're LGBT, your partner should know that you're LGBT.
The thing that really bothers me about the whole Nikkie situation is how someone was trying to blackmail her about this. How skummy do you gave to be to do that?
@@curerose6906 she at least admitted that she shouldn't have done that and it wasn't completely out of malice unlike the person that is deliberately holding this against her.
When I was teenager I used to listen this radio talk show called Loveline. It's like a podcast but in the 90s. LoL Any whos.... one of the callers was a trans woman. She had gone on two dates with a guy and had a hard time figuring out how and when to come out to him. The consensus was no later then the third date if they had planned continuing the relationship. Also, to discuss it either in a public place or over the phone for safety reasons. I've always felt that was a good rule of thumb. Agree or disagree?
I think it's a good rule, telling someone on the first date is a needless risk, first dates are generally not that serious, why risk they MIGHT be a violent transphobe who'd attack the person? But by the third date yeah, it's a convo that needs to be had, in a public place is there's still any concerns for safety, but it needs to be talked about because obviously it's going somewhere.
I also think that unless it isn't obvious that you are trans you don't have to tell it at the first date. I mean it could be possible that you don't find that person interesting. Why telling every first date and risking that he/she is mean and tells everyone else you know?
@@a.h.6812 thats by far the biggest issue why they have a problem telling anyone, even their partners. If their partners decide to tell everyone around them the consequences could be catastrophic, especially if they are so deeply on stealth. While something like bpd depression or an invisible disability becoming knowledge to other people wouldn't be a big deal at all, or it would generally have very little impact.
If you expect to enter a safe, loving, honest relationship with any person you need to be upfront with them about who you are. I’m bisexual I let anyone I date know hey this is me like it or not. If they aren’t cool with it it’s best to find out from the beginning.
I don't think any guy would ever be upset about their girlfriend being bi Lol. Obnoxious as it may be, we always think of that threesome in the back of our heads. Pretty sure it's a genetic problem.
Indeed!. Im a 46 year old straight white male. I am also Profoundly deaf. Often on Online singles group in Facebook, I make sure that the members know that I am deaf. I even make sure they know that I wear hearing aids and can speak well. It is IMPORTANT that people must know before we develop further .. from stranger to friendship. Trust was built upon the foundation of honesty and truth. Not lies and deception.
I recently read this story about a trans woman’s experience with online dating and she specified in her profile that she was trans to eliminate the need for that conversation and she met up with a guy who got very handsy with her very quickly into the date and she got a strange feeling since he didn’t hesitate at all and that hadn’t been her experience with men in the past and before having sex she said “you know I’m trans right? It was in my profile?” And he absolutely lost his shit and luckily was able to get away before he got violent. Apparently he didn’t read the profile. She did the right thing in trying to let men know and still had a dangerous situation. I could not imagine being a trans person living in fear almost anytime you go out with or meet someone new. I love the way you discuss these issues so openly and honestly Blaire ❤️
@john smith ok but it still isn't her fault. The other should read their entire bio. What if someome had a disease and wrote it In their bio. The other person would have no room to complain if they contracted it because they should have read the bio. Most of us assume that people will read our bio if they are Interested in more than just a hook up because honestly if you do want more than a hook up what reason do you have to not take the time to read their bio?
I just now remembered that when I met my now husband, 30 years ago, I told him right away that my eyes weren't really green and that I had tinted contacts in. Just seemed the right thing to do. LOL
@T Dirty I literally had a guy (not a bf, but there was just mild flirtation going on) go into my hair like he was checking to see if my hair was real. He mentioned how fluffy it was and went right to my scalp without asking. I knew what he was doing. In retrospect I guess that was intrusive, but since my hair all grows out of my head I didn't second guess it.
@@raerohan4241 btw guys get touched all the time without consent too. You get hands on your chest for no reason, for example. I personally find it really gross. But I guess some guys are just used to that kind of intrusive touching and just treat others the same.
@@dma93-ch I guess I should amend my statement to say that no one should touch other people randomly like that. I'm not talking someone you know well, I'm talking casual acquaintance, new friend, and strangers... Everyone should make sure the other is fine with skinship like that prior to initiating it.
I feel like this applies to so many other relationships too. All I can think of is being upfront about wanting kids or not. Telling him you’re on the pill and skipping when he clearly stated he doesn’t want them. It’s unhealthy. I can understand why they react in a traumatized fashion…it wasn’t consensual. They consented to sex with a bio female, and any sex that is under fault pretenses isn’t consensual. I imagine they feel assaulted. I still find it abhorrent that they hurt the person, but I can understand the psychology behind it. Honesty with a partner about anything is so important. And like you said, why would you stay with someone that won’t except you the way you are.
@Kali Southpaw Do you have anything better to do ? Like dude I don't think any of us care that you "knew" which let's be real, you didn't know she was trans. So, hush up already
Me neither. It was weird watching the video even though I don't watch her. I was confused about whether or not she was mtf or if she was having a stupid trisha paytas moment.
why? because unfortunately people judge people for stuff like this. I totally get why she didn't want to be open about it before. Society is still immature for these topics
@@miguelcondadoolivar5149 But are you considering that telling someone you still don't fully trust could lead to things like being bullied or hurt in some way? You still gotta make sure you're not gonna get hurt by telling someone, I do agree with the decision Nikkie made.
Blair I love you so so so much. I watch these another trans people and my head spins at the ridiculous things they say and believe and ppl call me transphobic for disagreeing. The fact that you don’t ride with what everyone else believes and have you’re on mind and make sense of thing logically. Oh my God girl it’s so refreshing
I'm sure some people will take the title/thumb as negativity toward Nikkie, but I really like her! Just using her story as a springboard for a BIGGER conversation..
Preach it!
I love you and fuck yes for caring about people
Love you, Blaire! You're amazing!
Nice video I don't have any problem my Angel is Trans u r my Angel love u Blair I wanna marry u💞💞💞
So he found out just now or what?? Sorry the video isnt over yet but I need to know lmao
The two people who NEED to know your trans status
- Romantic partner
- Physician
(edit: for those saying "what about your parents and friends" well unless you've totally cut them off they are obviously going to know, but in terms of people you meet after transition these are the two people you should tell even if stealth)
Yes! I would argue that it could also be beneficial to tell close friends, just so they have a better understanding of your life story and experiences and can be understanding, but it's not necessary. I'd just personally be a bit sad if I had a close friend who I had known for years and they didn't feel comfortable sharing such a big part of themselves with me, you know? But, it's not morally wrong for them to keep it to themselves in that situation if they really don't wanna share.
And surgeons.
Gaming Kuckó surgeons are physicians
Seriously people need to tell their doctors...you still have a prostate as a transwoman, still have a cervix as a transman
those things are prone to cancer and need to be monitored...
Anyone you wish to date it seems to me other than that you are not honest with them or yourself.
genuinely proud of Nikkie for not using her transition as another cash bag but letting her talents shine through and making a name for herself. but not telling your S/O you used to have a completely different gender is definitely reckless.
zara badawy humble
She said she really regretted it though, I genuinely don't think she tried to be deceptive or reckless and she even told others to learn from her mistake.
Lol yet fragile dandelion stephanie soo dragged her tazvids.to/g4tu6hn7bxqy
Deeply Deeply Offended. agreed
Cherokee Reynolds true. glad to see someone accepting their mistakes
"Just like they don't need to tell them they used to be a baby." That... that is the worst false equivalency I've heard in... god, I don't know. It might just be the worst false equivalency I've ever heard period.
Was probably posted by a 13-14 y/o...
And these idiots on the internet will walk away feeling satisfied and content with themselves and their stupid thoughts cuz of how many likes they saw
It doesn't make sense because everyone used to be a baby so of course its just assumed. Comparing a unique experience to a universal one doesnt work.
@@flyinghumanoid9068 Exactly, unless you were created as a teenager and came to earth from out of space at 20 years old.
Difference is EVERYBODY was a baby once lmao
Not telling an intimate partner that you're trans is basically equivalent to "stealthing", or akin to not telling a partner about an STD. It's withholding information that could very likely have the other person revoke their consent. There's a word for that.
Gir's Taco 100% true.
I sort of get your point but it is not really a great comparison. STD’s can have horrible medical consequences beyond being mentally scared. Untreated clamydia in biological females can led to infertility and HIV will make it necessary take medication for the rest of your life. Stealthing also puts the female in risk of getting pregnant.
I do a 100% agree that it is important to tell someone if you are trans.
Julie not only that. Some people if not most just don’t want to sleep without trans person.
Whoah, whoah, whoah, that's ridiculous. By that definition, a husband or wife not doing some chore around the house and lying about it to avoid souring a sexy moment together would qualify as rape. That's not fair. That's also information that would turn someone off from consent; you need to be careful with your definitions.
@@IggyTthunders The definition is perfectly apt. You're twisting it into something it isn't.
If my boyfriend confessed to me he was once a baby I’d probably leave him tbh.
😂😂😂😂😂
Oh shit it’s my second favorite person if RDR2
i would laugh
If my girlfriend confessed to me she wasn't ever a baby I’d probably leave her.
😂😂 truuu
Yes! There was a trans girl here recently that was killed by a guy who, I guess, didnt know she was trans until after they had been physical. It's dangerous! You never know what other people will do, being upfront about it is just safer.
B V physical how?🤨
Rubarb84 sex, obviously
@@Rubarb84 not sex but like... fooling around leading up to it. From what I understand he reached in her pants and found something he wasnt expecting
Gwen aurajo was the Same Story.
B V 😬🤭
Everyone was a baby but not everyone was trans
Very true, I didn't even think ab it like that.
@Nicole Cruz hwat
@Nicole Cruz ???
@Nicole Cruz ?? lol that's cuz they were agreeing to that comment thanks captain obvious lol
Nicole Cruz Because shes using her Brain 🧠
Everyone was a baby but not every woman was a boy.
Good point. She drew a false parallel! Lol!
Men who identify as women are men
every woman was a girl, otherwise it's not a woman
actually, we all start of 'female' in the womb (that is, we all start out with phenotypically female gonads). a fetus only becomes male in the womb when the Y chromosome is introduced. biology is crazy
NO woman was a boy.
“The transwoman who looks nothing like a woman” Pulls up a picture of Jessica Yaniv lmfaooo.
Rid97527 lol
Rid97527 and the ITS MA’AM character
@Skull Zone The Macho Maam looks too much like Dolph Lundgren. No amount of work is gonna maker her pass.
@@GamingArcane him* lol
Rid97527 on the other hand we have nikita dragun
There's a difference between honesty and transparency. Honesty is telling the truth when asked, and transparency is telling the truth even when you're not asked. You're supposed to be totally and completely transparent with the ones you love.
lil phil I agree!
Karen Brock lmfao okay Karen
Yes but what transparency does NOT mean is going out of your way to introduce your current partner to exes and ruining your current relationship with it. I suppose that’s more boundaries and dealbreakers(keeping in contact with your exes in this case) though
@ i mean if you're a guy saying "I'm a girl" to your man and you really have a dick in your pants then like..
Amen
Btw the black screen glitch with the horns was supposed to have the text "STORYTIME" T____T UA-cam glitch idk
It scared the fucking shit out of me lmao!
Blaire White it happened as an ad came on for me I assumed it was part of the ad 😂😂
@@tarynriver me too!
I was so confused hahaha
I thought I accidentally played another vid lol
People are literally INSANE to think you don’t have to tell tour partner your are a trans . And you are called transphobic???!! What world do we live in.
I’m not transphobic, however I believe it should be mentioned when dating. It’s deceitful not to say anything let the person decide if they’re ok with that.
You don’t have to worry about being called “transphobic” by thinking that way, because it certainly isn’t. Is the right thing to do!
Bruce Humphrey we live in such a sensitive world 🤦🏾♀️ when you speak your mind and state your opinions people think you’re attacking them 🤦🏾♀️
Stacyann J Exactly! People nowadays are total SJWs, and they get offended by every insignificant thing🙄
@Bruce Humphrey
Legit. Fricking hate SJW’s man.
Denki Kaminari Agree
Not informing one’s partner is essentially stealing their ability to consent.
EXACTLY!! Blaire should pin this comment
I'm *not* saying I disagree at all, but can you elaborate? xx
@Speaking Truth Oh, I understand it more now. The partner definitely has a right to know about these things for it to be fully consensual. Thank youu
its RAPE by deception
This is it! It’s hard to say that to people without them labeling you as transphobic.
When I first heard she was trans I thought she was gonna transition from female to male and then it clicked in my head that she’s male to female, I was so shocked
I'm FTM and I thought the same thing for a brief second. Yeah, she's definitely not FTM.
Me too!!
StartedWithAReport same!
Same i was so shocked.
Ash Bath same or a lesbian/ bi. I was shocked.
I’m gay and if I was hooking up with someone who said they were transgender without telling me I would be uncomfortable because I am not attracted to transgender people. And I don’t believe that is transphobic to say. Everyone has their types and I accept all people but I just don’t find transgender people attractive in that way. It’s important to disclose to someone.
Welcome Home yes thank you that’s like if I tried to trick a straight man into dating me it wouldn’t be right and they have their preferences that do not include myself
That makes no sense.. if you were hooking up with them wouldnt that mean that you are attracted to them ??
@@rdgloveshouse I guess you've never been about to hook up with someone and they said or did something that made you full stop and get tf out of that situation?
Your transphobic. Why do you think transgender people look ugly . Based on their identity makes them ugly? A trans man is a man not a trans man, a man. A trans woman is not a trans woman they are woman .
@@josephxxllolzxdashton1392 when did I say they are ugly? I said I’m not attracted to them. And I’m not transphobic so don’t just throw that word around lightly. I love and accept all trans people and have trans friends. They agree with me and it’s not transphobic. So watch your mouth.
“Trans women don’t need to tell men they used to be a boy just like they don’t need to tell men they used to be a baby.”
Well first of, everyone was once a baby. That’s common sense. You don’t need to tell them, since they should already know. But if you used to be a boy and you haven’t told your partner, then obviously your partner doesn’t know that you were a boy. It’s not common sense.
I don’t know much about like the surgery trans people do, but are trans women able to have children..? I feel like if you aren’t capable of having children that should be something your partner knows off the bat because having kids might b rly important to them
I agree with you. I feel like I as a partner would want to know this piece of information, but it won’t make me love you less as a person.
@@joy5976 Trans women cannot have babies because they do not have a uterus. Their penis is used to make a vagina basically by splitting it and making a cavity inside them which is lined by the outer skin of the penis. I hope this answers your question. 🤓
Alicein Amazon that just confused me even more
Sooo true.
I’ve seen niki tutorials for years and never once thought she was trans
no one did
Oh come on! Her head is like a pitbull!
@@ironlung7241 I wouldn't say all that, but it had crossed my mind more than once that she may be transgender. I think a lot of people saying they never would've guessed are saying it to be nice because I don't believe I'm the only one.
@@ironlung7241 Oof. She's overweight, her head has nothing to do with being transgender.
How? I did the literal first time I saw her.
It's not just the big lie, it's all the little lies about menstruation, fertility, childhood experiences, medical issues, identity (license and birth certificates).... it's about character and morality... being able to lie every single day, about anything, no matter how small. You can't have an honest relationship based on lies.
Reese2336 Spot on.
@dumb bitch just because they may not be lying to one person about the same thing everyday doesnt mean they dont lie everyday to others and themselves. Everyday they look in the mirror at themselves they lie.
@dumb bitch cool because you know you're wrong.
dumb bitch I think they didn’t meant literally everyday and literally every day talking about the period, they just meant very often there are little lies here and there. Not in everyday life, but since being transgender is a big part of one’s personal history, there’s just this huge chunk of time “missing” which need to be filled with artificiality. Also there might not be lies per se, but but a general silence/avoiding to talk about things.
dumb bitch if you’ve ever dated anyone long term or lived with someone, all of these things come up. What if the other person wants to have children.
We tell our partners about past relationships and divorces and abortions and pregnancies and all the skeletons the closet...why not being trans?
I know right!
I actually don't tell my partners about past relationships if I can help it. These are traumas I'd rather not revisit.
Exactly! During the "getting to know you" process, typically you ask about past relationships and what you've learned from them (or why they didn't work) etc. This includes whether or not you've been married before, or....I don't know...that you used to be the opposite sex!!!
.
I mean, I had an abortion but I don't think I've told some partners-- I don't even remember tbh because it's not their business and it was like fifteen years ago.
"Why would you want to be with them if that's a deal breaker" that honestly sums up why honest communication about any topic is so important. If you set boundaries on what you feel is important and if the person you are dating doesn't have the same mindset why would you want to be with them long term? (Note: I know no ones gonna agree on everything that's why its important to have dealbreakers vs things that you can disagree about and still support each other on)
You better speak the truth, I always tell my trans sisters "bitch if you think telling him you're trans is a deal breaker, why the fuck would you still want him"
I'm cockphobic.... I will NEVER change my mind!
Love the username btw
For sure. But I think that some things can be intimate and difficult to disclose, especially if it's related to trauma. I can imagine it might also change the way people look at you, especially if they barely know you, so I think it's understandable to want to get to know the other person and establish trust first.
In a way, it might be easier to disclose that you wouldn't date a trans person/rape survivor/infertile women, instead of expecting them to disclose it on the first date, even if it might be a deal breaker for some. Relationships are built on honesty and trust, but not necessarily laying out your whole history on the first date. Sometimes people will freak out just because they were attracted to you, even if you tell them right away, and I can't really blame trans people for wanting to be safe. Often being stealth is being safe, and coming out is very vulnerable.
Of course, if it doesn't come out long term, that's probably bad, and if you haven't had genital surgery it should hopefully come up before you get intimate, just like anything else that could be very unexpected in that ballpark(huehue).
Well said.
In an age, where consent is so talked about you'd think people would get that if someone doesn't have all the information they cannot give full consent.
Kristen K ~ 💯!!
Excellent point!!
YES, THANK YOU
Turquoise Cheetah i agree, i can see this as a form sexual assault.
Especially if you are a girl thinking you are with a girl whos really a boy and can EASILY hold you down and shit..not saying that would happen, but realistically. Nowadays it is VERY easy to be a unpredictable sexual predator
@Turquoise Cheetah Your condoning murder and no matter the situation, that's never an acceptable solution. Its sad that's a thing to consider but your justifying extreme measures and that says a lot about who you are as a person. If you don't trust your partner enough to be 💯 with them then you shouldn't be engaged in a sexual relationship, period.
As a lesbian that likes lady parts you absolutely should tell your partner if you’re trans or not. Its not going to be announced publicly, it stays between you two. It’s important that you’re aware of what both of you are getting into. I wouldn’t date a pre-transitioned women because I don’t like biological male parts.
Edit: I absolutely love Blaire and I only edited because of typos;;
And that is definely ok, never be ashamed.
SHOWER thoughts thanks, I won’t 💜💜 Have a nice day
as a lesbian myself, I would never wanna be labeled as transphobic for having a genital preference
More people need to see this comment. Men get hated on far too often for feeling the exact same way.
Completely agree. As a straight woman, I don't care about female 'private parts' (I have my own, and that's enough, ty)... so if you're dickless, you gotta tell me!
Idk why people say she’s problematic. She speaks facts about everything.
It's because people are too sensitive.
IKR??? Fucking snowflakes
IKR finnnnnaaallllyyyyyyyyy somebody with a BRAIN
Because, for many, facts are an interference. Lol
The way people talked about her she came across as some alt-right lunatic. But she's pretty chill?
I feel like the only people who need to know ARE romantic partners. And they do need to know. It made me a little uncomfortable to know that she didn't disclose the information to her fiance.
Doctors need to know as well so they are able to properly cater treatments towards common risk factors.
@@elizabethkelly8156 Of course! But as far as announcing it to every day people, nah.
it did make me uncomfortable as well, but when she said that you should tell your partner, and learn from her mistakes, it made me feel better, because she was taking accountability by saying she shouldn't have done that, and doesn't condone this behavior.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way! I can already hear the cries of "bigot TERF!" from the distance.
I agree they dont need to tell everyone if they dont want too but partners yes and before it gets any kind of serious because thats what triggers violent responces from guys is getting attached to what they think is a woman and then bam they get hit with that in not saying violence in any way is ok but just starting what makes them do it
i’m a lesbian and if i was with a trans women and she didn’t tell me i’d feel lied to and violated, that’s a important part of their life and does change things in a relationship.
john smith oh my god you’re hilarious did you know that you’re probably the funniest person to ever comment on UA-cam ?
Same. If a trans woman was honest with me I’d still date them. But lying ? Nah.
john smith it’s hard to understand that it wasn’t funny and it was disrespectful? Lesbians get made fun of all the time and people always talk about how they just need to have sex with a real men, I’m not even going to continue with this since you are just going to ignore what I said and answer me with a short and “funny” answer
but what I do think it’s funny is that someone like you is on this kind of video making fun of lesbians lmao maybe one day you’ll realize
@3L33T oh congrats! Now you're a better human being than anybody else
@john smith I'm lesbian and many also don't use strap ons, and penis disgusts me more than anything. It's the ugliest part of the human body of either gender. Vagina is far superior. So you're wrong lol
Ppl in these comment trying to put together false scientific fact to validate this is just cringy. First of all if you engage in an intimate relationship with someone without disclosing such a huge factor like this that plays a huge role in who you are then that straight up fraud. Don't victimize yourself and try and validate stupidity. Hiding such a thing is straight up immature
Amen👏👏
I understand some people dont think Sex is a big deal or intimate (one night stands hook ups etc) but it is it should be about trust so you don't put yourself in harm's way. You are exceedingly vulnerable in that position you've placed yourself in far too often we see headlines for all genders and sexual identities being harmed because of unsafe practices
We all need to be more informed and safer.
I have noticed a lot of members of the LGBTQ like to victimize themselves in the dating subject. Not all. But it's what I see frequently and its just cringeeee.
@@angelicsailor1st aren't the people they are tricking in danger too? Just saying.🤷♂️ Trying to be the devil's advocate here.
Agree. Very cringe
I can kind of see why she didn’t tell him sooner. She transitioned really young, she never told anyone, and their relationship got serious really fast. But I think that would be really hard to find out someone you love is trans after the fact. I think it would make them feel lied to and maybe cause trust issues. Not to mention if they ever talked about having children. I hope it doesn’t hurt their relationship and I’m glad she used her own situation to spread the awareness to tell your partner if you are trans. Because she could have left the whole story of her relationship out completely.
I didn't even consider the children aspect of this. That must be kinda devastating for her fiance even if he's completely on board with everything else.
Chinchilla hats it’s going to hurt worse if you leave it for so long, and I do feel bad for her fiancé because he may have wanted to have kids with her and have that experience with her, I hope they get through it because they clearly love eachother but this may be a dealbreaker
Cherokee Reynolds Yea. Maybe she told him from the start that she couldn’t have kids and just left out the reason why 😕
Aislin Lindsay totally agree. Though I just found out that I might not be able to get pregnant myself. When in a relationship do u tell such a thing? I mean obviously before marriage! But idk I have just been thinking about it lately, when in dating is it too soon and when is not sharing this info lying? Just sharing my own dilemma haha
She could've kept this secret to her grave if she wanted. Just saying... they could've been married til death do them part and he'd never have to know...
I would definitely be devastated that someone I love lied to me for so long about something so important. It has nothing to do with them but has everything to do with trust.
Exactly
Also, I'm a heterosexual female. If boyfriend came out as trans. I would not be happy to have been sleeping with a biologically female.
Iris Berlo I agree.
Iris Berlo that is transphobic because the person who you have been sleeping with is male, but the adjective describing them is trans, they are a trans male, you would be sleeping with a male. However if it was a relationship the issue would lie in the not being open about entering into a partnership with someone, but having sexual relations with a man who happens to be trans should not illicit such an aggressive and disturbing response from you, regardless of whether or not you were okay with it unless you directly questioned their gender identity you consented to sexual relations with a man who happened to be trans.
@@niamhemilydoyle8701 stop. They're not transphobic because they have a personal fucking preference. How about have some fucking nuance to your position. If the person generally is only attracted to biological female/Male and wants to create a family with them then that is their right to do so. Stop taking peoples right to choose who they love away from them by guilting them into fucking people they dont want to fuck. Its gross af. You fucking date a trans male guy if you want to.
2 things you failed to mention:
1. Some people want kids out of a relationship, usually biological, which is something a trans person may not be able give their partner without medical wizardry. This is also compounded by your point on honesty in a relationship.
2. The analogy used in the post doesn't follow since all people used to be babies but not all people used to be the opposite gender.
EDIT: Clarified point 1 due to the combo of homosexuality and lack of bottom surgery.
Yeah. You assume everyone used to be baby lol. It goes without saying.
I read that and was like... girl BYE. We all literally used to be babies. Whoever wrote that is a cretin and a half.😒
@@swankelly bold of you to assume that everyone used to be a baby, and still arent babies today.
Ppl who let the possibility of biological kids become a deal breaker in a relationship upset me ngl. There's so many good kids out there who need homes! It makes 0 difference. 😔
Like personally I'd love to have kids one day, but Id never wanna go through a pregnancy, abd plenty other girls nowadays feel the same. Why you not love me bc I don't want to pop a baby out for u 😭
You don't have to tell people you were a baby because everyone was once a baby, so it's obvious, that comparison is invalid.
As a bisexual I wouldn’t mind being with a transgender (doesn’t mean every bi has to) but I can understand if you are straight and it doesn’t match with you. There are people who don’t mind being in a relationship with a trans person and some who do and you have to respect that. Not telling them is just wrong
i'm bisexual. i'd be fine with f to m trans but not m to f.
Indecisive N.E.E.T Idk how it is for Elise Jackson but I think understand what they meant.... For me it’s not about of the genitals (bc again, I’m bi so idc) but it’s the type of personality m to f trans people have. They tend to be on the girly side which is fine for some people but I’m not necessarily attracted to girly girls. I’m more into people with “gender neutral” tendencies so for example girls with masculine aspects. But I will stay open minded maybe I’ll change my mind some day
I agree with you, as long as people are honest I don’t care what bits and bobs they do/don’t have
@@Bro-tl1ev you answer is the complete opposite of mine. I could do mtf but not ftm. I like girly girls. I have another realize but that is a lot hard to explain and has to do with my sexual practices with each gender.
I don't mind either but I would still like to know nonetheless because I personally feel like that's important basic information about your partner and if my trans partner didn't tell me they were trans until months or years after dating I would be disappointed they felt like they couldn't tell me.
My thing is, if you’re going to be sharing your body with someone, you should let them know. Because now, you being trans is their business.
Agreed.
Simple as that
I think the simplest thing would be to always know someone before sharing your bodies with them period
I tell women I have HPV even though I have no physical symptoms - and I wear a rubber. But it's their right and prerogative to know what they're getting in to, and to refuse if they choose.
Huffle Kekos yes of course! (Honestly I think the hook up culture is toxic and ungodly)
I'm straight and personally don't know if I could have a relationship with a transperson as I've never been in that situation. But, It would be so much more positive to know that they were willing to be really honest at the start.
My current partner shared a very personal piece of information on the 2nd date and still to this day I am thankful that I was informed about it. It made me understand them better and I could discuss and ask questions in a candid way.
English Archer the herpes talk huh?
@@wilsone100021 lol
You're a very decent person. Good on you for that.
I agree. I always tell my partners I am transgender.
One of my friends had sex with a friend he didn’t know was trans. If it’s a one night stand I get it, but they’re apparently friends...
It’s just kinda... a trust issue. Kinda like how with STDs, undetectable is not transmittable. Like being trans, they can’t detect it, but you want to know if your partner has had an STD for trust and psychological reasons, even if they cannot get it. Hard to explain, best analogy I thought of.
@UCWUyhuVBsct6yAr-Pu6xPjw no gay dudes will hit up a hettie for real
This really should be one of the first thing ppl should say. I’m pretty confident that MOST straight guys out there, like myself, wouldn’t wanna date a transgender female. Not trynna be offensive but I can assure you most straight males take this very seriously and will feel violated if they were told at a later time. Plus, it would really be a waste of time to not tell a guy this. You can do w.e you want or be whoever you wanna be as long as you respect other ppl.
@@dianaalexandravelasquezuri7923 what are you even talking about
Pardon my English, but not only that, I think it could also be harmful for the transwoman. Anger of someone that was being deceited/lied on could be scary and or fatal. Let's say the one who are being deceited is a straight male-or anyone stronger. She could be assaulted due to that 'burst of a moment of anger' - and even kil_d. Someone actually really said he'd end up kil_ng them if he was being deceited. And I don't blame these guys either. Because when anger controls, common sense gone. Especially when it comes about feeling.
@@zenldh You're not wrong. Transpeople have been murdered for not informing their partner of their biological sex status. No one should be murdered for their life choices that don't affect anyone but themselves, so it's always tragic, but love, sex, and relationships are full of powerful emotions. Being deceived like that with someone you cared for can cause the exact opposite emotions to come out. And then tragedies occur and life is lost.
@@zagorith14 they are not murdered for their life choices, they are murdered for what should be classed as rape/ sexual assault. If a woman killed her rapist everyone would be applauding her but when trannies get killed for lying or not disclosing it then they are the victims!
@Chelsea Upton Exactly
everyone saying "we knew" literally stop lol i have never ever see anyone say she was trans before, you didnt know, shut up
Everyone saying "we had no idea" literally stop lol I have never ever seen anyone say she wasnt trans before, you knew, shut up
Literal, people are lying themselved lol literally nobody knew she was trans, not even thought on that. There wasn't a single comment saying or asking if she was trans
@@blopp6240 HER face looked and still looking great, she's all female lol and y'all being delusional as hell. Nobody noticed and that's all.
Yes. I had no idea, and i have never ever in my life met anyone who thought she might be trans, neither in real world or the internet.
true, but not true, ppl have been saying theres something "off" about her overall look for yrs but couldnt put their finger on it.
Literally a month ago I talked to this guy and told him that I'm trans a couple of days into our conversation and he actually told me it is a problem for him and even though I saw this going a little further but I knew it was the right thing and things like this just makes me feel even better about me ending it as soon as possible. I hate people who doesn't tell their date they're trans. Miss me with that bullshit
as a bisexual guy, my date being trans is not a deal breaker... Not being TOLD prior to intimacy that they are trans is a deal breaker.
I have MASSIVE trust issues, and if 'they' cannot trust me enough to tell me, and give me a minute or three to shift gears in my head... then how in the HELL am I supposed to trust them?
^this,it's not about them being trans more than them not trusting me
FLEUR
Thank you for setting the right example and please be safe out there ! Life can be very dangerous for all women, and trans women especially.
People are more open now and I think with you being honest, there are plenty of men who will appreciate that and love to date you.
@@f-line5584 I know but I talked about a related topic to that. Because it is connected.
FLEUR AMEN!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Blaire: I was friends with this person, we transitioned at the same time, we were roommates at one time...
Me: Oh my god, they were roommates...
same loool
Starting a relationship based on deceit is a recipe for disaster.
Honestly I would have never guessed she was trans, omg.
That's the point
Me too but hearing her voice when she came out there's a little bit something
just by her face, but looking her whole body, she's very masculine, i was very surprised when i saw a picture of her in a glow up episode.
you must be blind as a bat. You can see from a mile away she was a he.
She looks exactly like a trans woman what are you talkin about?
I’d probably tell any girlfriend I have that I’m autistic (I’m diagnosed with Aspergers), especially when it has certain effects on my behaviour, and understanding and interpretation of certain situations, like being in crowded places and social situations. Does that mean that I could possibly be rejected? Yes, absolutely. But I’d rather do it so she’s fine with being with someone who’s autistic.
And when it comes to dating someone who’s trans, I probably might. I wouldn’t have a problem with dating a trans woman, especially if she’s pretty feminine, but I would still see it as good form for her to tell me, especially when it would have effects on certain parts of our life together, and coming from a more Christian background, I see marriage as being rather important to say the least, and I’d want to be able to marry her and be with her for the rest of our lives. The idea that it’s OK to hide such important things from the person you love the most is pretty awful, imo, and it shouldn’t be encouraged at all.
I always told my partners about my autism and physical disabilities. Honesty is very important, and sometimes being autistic comes with odd behaviors, and is genetic to kids. Not everyone wants to deal with autistic children. I wouldn't want someone to be with me out of guilt or because I had to convince them to stay.
I was in a long distance relationship with a girl who was diagnosed with aspergers. She had gotten a second opinion at some point while we were in the early stages of our relationship and waited until she was officially diagnosed before telling me. I care about her a lot, she is a great person. Very funny, smart, interesting. I love how she gives her honest opinion when I ask for it. There are a lot of things I love about her, but being long distance was very challenging. I feel like if she was neurotypical the long distance aspect would have been a lot easier but at the same time she wouldn’t be the same person/the person I loved. I’m glad she told me early on about her diagnosis, the diagnosis didn’t change how I felt about her at all
i do the same with my ptsd.
I have aspergers and I usally tell me people as soon as I meet them. I also have SPD so I dont do touching. Idk if I would date a guy yet because I still let my problems get in the way.
My boyfriend has aspergers and I wouldn't prefer him any other way. I don't consider aspergers to be autism though, just a social boundary.
Not telling someone is literally stealing the ability to fully consent to a relationship. This is wrong. I could never forgive someone who lied to me in this way
BS. The man gets the best sex in his life (unless he's been with a transwoman before). Why should she feel obliged to say anything?
Its rape. Imagine how a lesbian would feel if she realised she'd been duped into sleeping with a man. It should be illegal to hide this info before becoming intimate as you have taken away the other person consent.
@@RodFleming-World If she shouldn't feel obliged to tell him then he shouldn't feel obliged to not beat the shit out of "her" either.
@@PajamaJazama bullshit.
Patrice Lovelace that is problematic because you are sayings trans woman is a man
No. You need to tell any romantic partner, or love interest, that you were born male or female and decided to transition into opposite sex.
They HAVE the right to know and DESERVE to know. It doesn’t make you transphobic. That transphobic card is getting very old.
And no. You don’t wait several months to tell them. You tell them right away, before you get to the date.
I like how even when Blaire is on the side of the person she is talking about she still makes the title controversial. We love it
Hollie Fletcher clickbait is not cute
Y T lol never said that was saying blaires personal way of approaching things is something we love because that’s Blaire :)
I find it hypocritical. She takes a stand against deceptiveness, but the title is deceitful in a way. Blaire isn't without flaw, sadly.
南雲Haruya nobody is lol
Her Name okay?
If you care about consent at all, then you can’t trick someone you’re in a romantic or sexual relationship with.
Coercion and tricking someone into a sexual relationship is a crime I think because consent was given on false/forced terms
Define "trick" if you're going to make absolute statements like that. A trick can be a very harmless thing or a very malicious thing, and you need to be conscious of that spectrum of behavior.
@@IggyTthunders Leading a guy on to think youre a chick when in reality youre a male...that tends to be an issue with the vast majority of men
Yeah I agree, it's kind of like tricking the other person.
@@IggyTthunders if the trick results in a person having sex when they otherwise would not have consented then its not harmless
One person’s feelings should not outweigh the other person’s consent - if you lie to them, they are robbed of the question of INFORMED consent.
Well said
Tay Eats Cheese I agree
Its not technicly lying if they dont ask
@@claemayor1650 Lie by omission is still a lie.
Doesnt really matter if nobody gets wise
I have a 16 year old trans son... this was one of the first things we talked about it’s dangerous
Welcome Home Thank you! It’s simple really... love for your child should be nothing less than unconditional.
Wow you’re an amazing parent.
@@landontaylor4485 Nah depends on what they did. If they m*rdered or r*pe someone they would lose all my love.
@@Arcania9516 I don't think it is wrong to love unconditionally. Remember when the unibomber's brother got a million for turning in his brother? I asked my father about it and he said, "I wouldn't turn in my brother for a million dollars but I would turn my brother in for being the unibomber. It is the same for a child. You can love someone and still do the next right thing.
So your child was born female and is transitioning to male? It is more dangerous to trick men than women. It is wrong to mislead anyone of course.
One of my ex-boyfriends - who I dated for quite some time - randomly brought up to me that he was transgender and was in the process of researching how to transition. I'm gay and not attracted to women (trans or otherwise), so I told him that I couldn't stay with him after that.
What followed was me being accused of transphobia and everything else you'd expect. Am I transphobic for wanting to date a man because of my sexuality and NOT a woman/trans woman?
Edit: Thank you for the support! I've been mulling it over in my head for a couple years now and keeping it to myself, so its nice to get other people's opinions on the matter and get it off my chest. Much appreciated!
RegularShowMemorabilia the hate you got makes me sad. It blows my mind that people are so "woke" now that they no longer accept different sexual orientations, like people expect everyone to be pansexual and that's it. Gays and lesbians fought so hard for acceptance and it seems like society is in danger of going backwards. Sexual preferences are valid and ok!
no
A friend of mine had a similar experience when he was dating a female who was transitioning to male. He (then she) attacked said friend into staying with him and told him he was being transphobic, and all he could do was sit there and say "I like girls, and after this you will no longer consider yourself a girl. I'm transphobic, I'm just not attracted to guys"
It’s ok to be straight 👍 I’m sorry people need to reaffirm that.
RegularShowMemorabilia absolutely not. As you said, you’re gay. If they transition to a girl it wouldn’t make since for you to continue the relationship
Im glad she admitted that she has regrets for not telling him sooner.
I don't understand why this is so big of a deal... She said that she did wrong and she explained why and that sounded reasonable, it makes sense that she was afraid. She also recommended to always tell your SO the truth and finally, they are OK with this. Again, I don't understand why everyone need to say over and over again that this is wrong c'mon we all know it's wrong
@@MC-qc9iz cause some trans think it's okay NOT to tell a potential partner
Sheena D Or because their scared to come out to them?
@@kevinmaceleven5806 tell them in before it gets serious or physical. The other person has a right to know
@@kevinmaceleven5806 yeah its still scary, but if youd have any common sense or decency youd realise it's both your own and the person you're telling's best interests.
I hate those “he didn’t know I was transgender!” Videos so damn much. The titles and thumbnails give off strong “I’m so quirky” vibes, and it all seems so manipulative and deceptive (which it honestly is).
Magic Guy honestly they always come off as a bit rapey to me lmao
Magic Guy it’s ok you can say Nikita
I feel it’s also arrogance. Like look at me, I transitioned so well people don’t know unless I tell them
devontodetroit I agree. I’ve only met one person ever where it wasn’t obvious to me and she transitioned before puberty.
And it’s not only trans people. You can tell if a cis woman had work done as well especially when it comes to boobs and lips
@@MB-wk6uc I believe it is. They can't consent to what they don't know. It's so fucked up and for it to be trendy honestly makes me want to barf.
Bro, I would tell someone about my self-harm scars before getting intimate. Anything that could be shocking or surprising needs to be addressed.
Absolutely!
Really u would?I wouldnt.......
@@celestialudenberg71 Well it is best to be truthful, and if you were going to be intimate with them, wouldnt that mean you trust them enough?
@@fabreo4041 to me personally, being intimate with someone doesn't mean I trust them,I only trust myself and no one else,but u said it's best to be truthful which is true I do agree on that, but I wouldn't lie to them if they ask, I'll just say "it's not important, so don't worry about it"
@@celestialudenberg71 that's agreeable
Imagine being a wait until marriage kind of person getting married and then hearing on wedding night "oops I'm actually trans hope that's not a problem."
Reminds me about the CSI episode where a couple was like that. Girl went so far as to leave open pads with blood on them in the trash to make her fiance think she was getting her period
That reminds me of an awful commercial i saw a few years ago. I don't even know what it was about, probably condoms or something, but basically the guy and the girl just got home after their wedding night and she goes to use the bathroom, and he sees her standing to piss, and his face is horrified. She turns and smirks and then thats the end of the commercial.
Yeah....
That's horrible 😨
It's sad to know that ppl even in intimate matters can lie to you ...this is why I have trust issues
Spoogy Gus y does that sound lame a horror movie
I think the bright side there is there's not a big "real love waits" movement among Trans folks.
I know someone who "tricked" men into being with her. she was literally beat to death by a hammer. That's why its important to tell people.
@hello uh, no
@hello Are you a sadist or something? Murder and deception are not on equal grounds, one is obviously much worse than the other. I hate anyone who lies to their partner esp about being the gender opposite to what was assumed BUT murdering someone with a hammer is just insane and speaks more about how psychotic that person is than it does about the trans deceiving said person. You're fucked up if you think they deserved to die such a brutal agonising death.
@hello Deserved? Please tell me you're joking...
Thora Friganza it’s important to tell because they were not born as a woman. Meaning they cannot give birth, have period etc. when they go to the hospital they STILL must identify as a males.
@@tiffdoctor1890 Yep.
Casually dating and getting to know someone is fine but when the relationship becomes sexual it needs to be talked about.
Yeah exactly. Imo you should disclose it before starting to actually flirt. So if you're the type to flirt outright, say it up front, but if you're the type to take your time and meet a few times to discuss before starting to flirt, then it's not any more of a priority than any other potential deal breaker.
I'm kinda annoyed at those who're like "Say it now! Before you even have conversations! Before even dating once!" Like chill, you don't know the person yet and you're allowed to end the prospect yourself without having disclosed it if you think the other person's an asshole about those things. If dating pool is small-ish in your area, saying it to the wrong person could mean being basically outed to your whole age group where you live. And you have the right to protect your private life.
@@dma93-ch flirtation does not obligate one to share their life story/intimate details
No it is not. Trans people go through great lengths to mask their natural features so a str8 man or woman flirting with a trans is doing so bc they think they're casually getting to know another str8 man or woman. Be str8 up and don't waste peoples time.
I don't think you have to do it before flirting at all, otherwise you may never flirt at all. Just don't string them along for an extended period before disclosing it.
@@CaptainCocaine Kudos! You definitely don't have to open your first conversation with someone saying "hi i'm trans btw". But it's important to disclose it fairly soon as you get to know eachother better otherwise the other person might felt lied to
I’m relatively new to the channel, I may have said something like this before, it was hard for me to accept the trans community because I just thought they’re weird, (which some of them are; “IT’S MA’AM!”) but Blaire has helped me to become more accepting and show that a lot of them are good people just trying to live their lives. I still probably wouldn’t wanna date a trans girl, certainly not marry one, because I wanna be able to have kids, that’s kind of a big deal. I don’t know why you wouldn’t tell your romantic partner you’re trans. I’m sorry but if we go in the bedroom and pull the pants down and there’s a dick instead of a vagina, that’s a deal breaker.
Would you marry a childfree woman?
@@silverstarlight9395 A woman that doesn’t have children, yes, a woman that doesn’t WANT to have children with me, no
@@silverstarlight9395 that about the infertile woman
But there isn't a dick most of the time nowadays. After bottom surgery you'd be hard pressed to ever know the difference by looking or thru sex.
disgusting cisgender snowflake got offended by us trans people 💅😂🏳️⚧️
I was just talking about how it was wrong she didn’t alert him before. The thing is, so many trans people get killed from lying about that kind of stuff.
Yes and this is a serious issue. Especially when sexually insecure Western men are involved
I guess since she fully transitioned at a young age, it may not have mattered as much when they started dating? (Besides being infertile) I agree though, it’s better to be upfront and honest instead of experiencing heartbreak (on both sides) in the end
Regardless of how far in her transition, it can be uncomfortable and even a deal breaker for some people.
@@shesholdingcorn I'm not disputing that. I am saying that the reason for that discomfort can only be transphobia.
Or that they’re only comfortable with sleeping with natural women and as long as they support trans people it doesn’t matter who they don’t want to sleep with ^^
The ending " phobic " is being thrown around so much , it's crazy.
You can't have any preferences anymore without being " phobic " about something.
Girl yes. I swear these things are just thrown around these days. “Oh no thanks I’m not into that.” “Oh really? Transphobic!”
I like to drop the literal 'copy and paste' definition of whatever 'phobic' people throw around. Too many people use it to validate their own feelings of importance by cherry picking words/ changing definitions to things that fit their opinions to make you look bad.
Agreed.
I believe the overuse of phobic detracts from people that actually have a mental condition, over people that are just small minded assholes.
@@empresskarebear7519 Omg yes. Like, how about people with actual phobias?
The word phobia used in these terms has always bothered me so much. Like, I doubt there's a lot of people who go in to a literal panic mode and possibly need medication to calm down when they see two men kissing or someone talking about trans rights.
And if there is, they should seek help.
Transgender people need to respect people's preferences.
If someone doesn't want to have sex with you just leave them alone.
Everyone has preferences and some people prefer cis people.
Everyone's preferences matter and are valid. If someone doesn't want you then move on and go after someone who does want you.
And just because someone may prefer cis people that doesn't mean that person is transphobic.
Hiding you are trans from your romantic partner is predatory, selfish and sneaky.
Why want someone who doesn't want you?
EXACTLY
I think some trans people have covered themself (and the entire trans community) in a huge victim blanket, making them feel entitled to anyone they want, and if they get rejected they can pull the transphobia card. Bullying people into sleeping with you is fucking rape
I mean it may sound dumb, but if the guy expects all the 'female parts' and is being flashed a d*** instead, isn't that like se**ual as**lt of some sort? Like they didn't consent to what is happening? Does that make any sense?
Deadassss. Personally for me it’s a deal breaker but child we could still be friends 🤪 just tell me straight up. If I’m lied too ima be pissed. I won’t kill anyone but sheet just know they might get socked
Well said!
That’s like saying you don’t need to mention your HIV+ in your relationship like since when do people get to decide what the other person deserves to know 𝙎𝙈𝙁𝙃
LIXMELLO Weird comparison but kinda right
Have you been watching King of Reads? He said he didn't feel he needed to tell his partner about his HIV status. I almost shitted my pants!
I don’t think it’s quite the same HIV can kill you and be passed to another person I agree not saying your trans can feel like someone has been lied to but it cannot kill you or be passed to you
@@l9kl294 absolutely not a Weird comparison. The point is, there should be full disclosure before sexual contact, IFFF you're not stating it, it's because you know they'd likely revoked consent.
Tsunade Senju I think it’s weird because having sex with a trans person doesn’t make you sick for the rest of your life. But i get what he‘s saying
In the UK you are LEGALLY obligated to tell them. You can be thrown in jail for this, as it IS a form of sexual assault akin to rape.
Good law!
Good! It's similar in a lot of ways to "stealthing". It changes the likelihood of consent.
I think that's fair. I can understand that coming out as trans to your partner can be difficult. It's not exactly a good conversation starter. But it's just best to get it over with. Hell, they'd probably respect that trans person more for it.
that actually makes a ton of sense
I mean it’s definitely immoral but likening it to rape is twisted
I’m not trans.. but I can’t stop binge watching her videos because she is shedding so much light right now on the trans community. I’ve never heard such amazing insight and opinions on being transgender from someone who is transgender.
Same here
Right. Although I have different beliefs and opinions, I genuinely enjoy Blaire shedding light on this community. I’ve learned so much. 😊
@@Hope4Life26different how?
I'd be angry, not that I wasn't told that I'm dating a transwoman in itself but the fact that I WASN'T TOLD UNTIL LATER. Honesty is a huge thing with me and I won't date someone who's hidden something huge yet claims to care about me.
Yes, because if you didn’t know Blaire was trans, you would automatically be able to tell she used to be a boy.
@Kali Southpaw Blame the victim of the lie, real smooth.
@Kali Southpaw some people who really care about passing and presenting as the opposite sex have done such an amazing job at it that they legit pass and most people wouldnt know at the first look... Blaire i knew was trans because she acts like my friend damian.. Facial expressions and body language alike. No need to be rude.
Galork Bear-son the bigger question I have is, why is the silent majority staying silent about this behavior? Why is the silent majority allowing e radical vocal minority dictate these stupid ideas?
Where is the LGBT politicians speaking out against trans people hiding their transitions? Where are the organizations like GLAAD that speak out against this? Oh wait, they don’t, they promote and endorse this idea.
Galork Bear-son understandable
A girl I hit on stopped me mid flirt and was like I'm transgender.....I was like wait Really? She said yes and I was like damn girl you look Good an I'd never know she was transgender cause she's very passable I know some hate that term but let's be honest that's the goal when you're a trans person.
Ok. Great story...
Shannon D lol
It’s not always the goal
@@bxstar5276 Mostly part of it though.
@@landmerry_6742 can be
If it’s not important that your partner knows that you’re trans then when it’s time to try for a baby, what are you going to say ???
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
infertility and suggest a surrogate.
Giselle K Vera M That makes no sense. What’s the excuse when your man finds out you don’t have a uterus??
L L and I never said I would do this so “you” doesn’t pertain to me but I’m playing devil’s advocate and just letting you know that that is what some people do. People lie, literally all the time. Doesn’t make it right. Most women go to an obgyn alone all the time, so it’s a possibility. Again, I’m not advocating lying to your partner but it happens just like being an adulterer happens in some relationships.
They will continue lying apparently
Thinking that telling your partner you’re trans is on the same level of necessity as telling them you were once a baby is an incredibly idiotic statement. All people were once babies, not all people are trans; those things are in entirely different ballparks and thus not at all comparable.
If you truly love your partner, you don’t keep secrets from them. Not telling them you’re trans is keeping your transsexuality a secret from them. Transitioning is an extremely important and huge part of a trans person’s life and your partner has the right to know important things about your life like that and you should not take that right from them. If they think you being trans is a dealbreaker, then you leave them behind and move on to someone who loves you unconditionally.
PSA before people interpret this the wrong way; I’m refering to what was said in the Instagram comment shown in the beginning, not to anything Blaire said.
David Pavlas some people wanna go deep stealth, and it’s the only way to help their dysphoria. I’m sorry you wanna force all trans people to be visible
Wolfette Plays I’m sorry you took my comment out of context like that. I obviously wasn’t talking about those people, as those people are not who the video is about.
Thank you. I’m not a transgender but I’m one of those people who can’t be with a transgender. Everyone should do what they want but I know that I could never love them the way that they deserve. Another point is that I don’t fully agree with transition (it’s their choice but this is my opinion) and if my boyfriend would tell me he’s trans I couldn’t be together with him romantically. I can’t describe or reason why I just can’t. So thanks
DAVID PAVLAS IS SUCH A TRABSPHOBE HE IS A BIOGT TOO!
Yes, this comment was a joke.
You don't need to "love" someone to tell them this. I think this should be said to anyone you even plan to date. That's like I'm (name) (last name) and i am transgender.
People don't disclose trans status, marital status, STD status or do disclose infidelity due to pure selfishness. Period.
That’s exactly what I’ve been saying all over this platform and I’m getting called a bigot. Sorry? What???????
r vinlago yeah, not wanting to get murdered (which happens ALL the time)
so selfish!!!!!
@@dtsotm that's a non-sequitur.
Perhaps no one ever explained this to you but it's not all about you. Disclose trans status, & orientation up front -- prior to contact -- and then no one would be enraged or freaked out for being tricked or for participating in something against their convictions or orientation.
Of course if they do hurt someone that'd be wrong but it is both childish and selfish to think you can impose your sexuality (which may be different than the person you lied to by omission) on anyone-- that's equivalent morally to forcing yourself on someone.
Same goes for not disclosing std's (safety concerns) or marital status (safety and morality concerns). People who disclose infidelity though put the burden of their immoral behavior onto their partner. Unless you've risked their health by being too selfish to practice safe contact or there could be a kid running around with your DNA, or unless you plan to continue cheating, keep your infidelity to yourself. Especially if your original relationship is over. Otherwise you're disclosing it to hurt your partner and unburden yourself from your horrible behavior.
I don’t expose Infidelity out of intellectual mercy.
r vinlago i’m not trans so your misdirected rant is pretty redundant. and what sexuality is being imposed?? trans women are women, it’s not their fault that some men are so insecure in their own sexuality that they resort to murder. you do realise that there are people who literally seek out trans women just so they can murder them, kind of like what happens to gay men in russia?
you say ‘if’ as if trans women being murdered on a first date is hypothetical. it’s not. it’s an epidemic.
Deceiving anyone for sexual gain is super cringy and gives me rapey vibes like if you know they wouldn't consent if you disclosed whatever information it may be your withholding, then it isn't real consent. Consent is based on honesty and this is just predatory behavior.
My husband is transgender (ftm) and made the decision to transition after we’d been married for 14-15 years... That’s a whole different thing, of course. But I just wanted to establish my background.
Here’s my take on telling a date about your transgender status: It’s just about honesty. Fundamental facts about your life should shared if you’re going to have any change at a healthy, long-term commitment. “I’m a single dad.” “I have HIV.” “I have schizophrenia.” “I’m a Pete Buttigieg voter.” Anything that could impact the chances of a successful relationship.
Okay, sure, maybe it’s not what you open the conversation with the first time you meet for coffee or during your initial flirtation at the dog park... But it should be sooner rather than later.
I agree with everything you say but I LOLed at the "I'm a Pete Buttigieg voter."
nureallycool I’m sure there must be tens, maybe even dozens, of Buttigieg voters out there.
LMAO PETE BUTTIGIEG HAHAAHHAAHHAHA 😂👏
I love what you say, but good Lord, that Pete Buttigieg comment was just pure gold. Well done!
I'm a Pete Buttigieg voter. 😂😂😂😂😂
Honestly when Nikkie came out as trans I thought she meant that she was gonna start using male pronouns and stop doing makeup tutorials.
I don't know how I would feel if my husband said he was born female I mean I probably would get over it but the deception to begin with isn't right. And just imagine how the trans person must feel knowing they are treating their story as some horrible secret. Nope, openness is key. If the other person isn't down with that, find someone new. Life is too short to be miserable.
I’m sorry but your name and profile picture is just killing me 😂
Ahhhh the old "if you disagree with me you're obviously this terrible thing you're not." argument.
Classic.
Jtzkb I must be a nazi then 😂
People have a right to their sexual identity. even if it doesn’t make you “gay” to sleep with a trans girl it still can be something that changes how you grow your identity. It is so gross to disrespect people’s right to informed consent because you want to get some.
Lying to start a relationship isn’t smart or fair
True. Regardless of what the topic
But isn’t it okay for trans women to WAIT to tell about their identity before they feel safe/secure w/ their boyfriend. I think many transwomen are afraid they will be in physical danger by telling the truth.
@@BlackkCobra Don't build a relationship on a lie in the first place. If the other party doesn't want to be with you because of it, keep it moving.
It's much more dangerous to string someone along for ages and tell them LATER than to do so upfront when first meeting or going out imo.
@@BlackkCobra waiting more than 5-minutes to tell someone that you're a biological male massively increases the chance of an angry response!
Telling a straight man that your biologically male after any kind of intimacy has taken place is as unwise as it is unfair.
@@BlackkCobra Straight up FUCK NO. Lying is lying and waiting is lying.
It shouldn't reach the point for when a trans and the "same sex" become lovers/together, that's just fucked up periodt. Trans people get a lot of hate but no matter what, they made the decision to become trans along with all of the other issues it brings. it should NEVER reach that stage. No physical sexual contact should be made unless the person has knowledge of their transition as that's just disrespectful, don't know about their religion, personal beliefs.. you just dont know. Trans men/women can be trans but at once stage of their life they were the opposite sex. Trans women especially are becoming ridiculously hard to pick out and tell the difference there's too much lying going on and that shit needs to stop.
I'm a straight male and if i found out i was dating a trans i'd be furious. For a straight male, that is considered GAY no matter what they look like. You don't automatically grow ovaries now... come on now this is common sense.
Don't tell lies and everything's nice
Before being physical you need to tell them
Idc how you feel, period
a little bit of everything who said they didn’t?
Jane Doe The burden of proof falls on the person who made the claim, not the person who disputed the claim.
Edit: typo
Jane Doe In other words, you can only prove a positive claim, you cannot prove a negative claim.
Andrew Joseph Actually no one knows in the specific instance of Nikkie so neither can accurately be said whether they did or did not. But, if A Little Bit of Everything paid attention, Blair stated the video isn’t specifically about Nikkie but about the greater topic in general if you need to disclose it to your partner. The original comment that was responded to by A Little Bit of Everything wasn’t directed about the Nikkie situation exclusively but they responded to it if it was anyways.
Jane Doe I don’t remember saying that anything pertained specifically to Nikkie.
As a Transwoman myself, I've always prided myself with being open about my trans status on my dating profile, and always clarifying that with a potential partner. I've had arguments in the past with other Transwomen who feel that it's silly to disclose this. I'm 100 % on board with honesty, because when entering a relationship it's unfair for us to be deceptive, but to expect honesty in return. I'm proud of Nikkie, and frankly whatever happens with Dylan is their business. I wish them the best and her much love and support. Great video Blaire !! Thanks for doing a video on this, it's super important to have this mentioned.
Carmen Walker I’ve broken a relationship off because of this. We got to the bedroom and she was mad that she didn’t get what she wanted. I told her that I wasn’t into that and excused myself but that could have gone a lot worse for everyone. so yes, always tell your potential partners.
Edit: I’m not saying you would wait that late to tell your partner, just that it’s important not to.
@Dr Dimpy Rambo youd be surprised lol some people really cant tell. Hell I didnt even know and I'm usually good at spotting other trans people
@G H lmao exactly
Dr Dimpy Rambo youre probably just saying that because you found out now.
PersiaX Lynn 😍
0:09 Blaire: *throws a fricken 1,000 dollar phone*
Me: *clutches my iPhone 6 close*
Lmao glad I’m not the only one
When Nickie said that her parnter was shocked and “dealing with it” I was like uh oh. I hope their relationship doesn’t take a sour turn from this. Good for her that she was honest, but she should have been honest at the very beginning of their relationship
Right? I hope she told him before they decided to fuck cause that's really messed up.
I am going to assume a man made vagina looks quite different than a biological vagina? Have they not had sex?
@Moon Rise hmm. Kind of like what a vagina is.
You should check surgery videos. Those look like realistic vaginas.
Then again, I doubt you'd recognize one even when presented.
@@kezzz1137 it actually looks very realistic and natural.
Mtf surgeries are very effective at feminization and are extremely realistic.
@@iliveinaconstantstateoffea9634 surgery does not make a vagina, it makes a flesh hole where balls n a penis used to be. Vaginas and the reproductive organs of a
woman are God made, (it's a sacred thing being a woman and having the responsibilities that come with that from the DAY we are born FROM a woman's body.) Surgery smurgery, so tired of ppl plastering implants in their breasts and paying for a man-made hole and thinking that's all it takes to be a woman, boobs and a vagina hole...NOPE, not even close!!
I’d be pissed if my bf after years of dating told me he was trans. That’s not something to hide.
Its harder to pass if you are being sexual with a transman as there are no penis transplant surgeries that produce sperm. Its easier for trans women to trick people sexually
Not hating on nikkie but I think that if she wouldn't have been blackmailed she would have never told him. Not to mention that I have the feeling that she just told him once she got "caught". I'm happy for her, I've been following her since 2011 but I think she should've told him from the beginning just as Blair said.
@@zairnermuller4960 I think Nikkie told him way before
I would probably have a breakdown. It’s one thing to be betrayed but in THAT way????? You’re gonna hide THAT????
Ima Zinga sure but the point it they lied
Well they need to know. Imagine if you were with this wonderful girl, around 7 years together, a real beauty and you suddenly wanna have kids with her (she obviously has a man made vegane). She will have to explain why that is impossible, she might use the infertility excuse so you do some fertility treatments with her and you discover she is trans.
What hurts you the most isnt the fact that she is trans, but that she lied about something SO important. She lied by omition. If she can lie about such a fact, imagine the rest
Thats how I see it, at least.
Rahab gaale totally agree with this.
100% truth right there
Yaaaaaas. Honesty is the best policy in every situation. The danger of deception is real. Love ur honesty.
Rahab gaale exactly what I was thinking
This is another reason why I feel it's important to mention what you want in the future within the first few dates, so you know you're both on the same page. If they *still* deceive you after knowing that... there is a special place for them.
I mean, I'd be pretty traumatized if I found out a guy I had something with was trans. And I'm actually quite open about that, but the not knowing and knowing afterwards part would feel like rape honestly, I didn't consent to sleeping with a biological woman and yet I was made to through trickery. If I knew beforehand I would make my decision and probably be fine with it, but not knowing and being tricked would feel horrible. Who knows, maybe it already happened and I'll never know!
100% agree
Agree. I'm a straight woman and I want normal men, not women disguised as men. I would physically hurt that woman for lying to me, if that ever happened. Not sorry. 🤷🏻♀️
Can I ask why? Like, if you couldn’t tell unless they told you, what would be traumatizing to you? (I am also an advocate for being transparent about sex and gender before dating, I just don’t understand the traumatizing part)
@@adri9795 Really hard to say, it's not a rational thing obviously, it's emotional, and all hypothetical. It would probably be like a straight man sleeping with a trans woman without knowing it, you feel like you were tricked into sleeping with a gender you are actually not attracted to. Or similar to sleeping with someone and then learning they are your sibling or a close cousin and they knew but you didn't. If you had known the full picture you would have made a different decision or made the decision accepting the circumstances. I hope this answers it for you, otherwise feel free to keep poking at me, this is not a rock solid opinion I'm aware.
I mean , how can you not notice it when all the make up and clothes and lights are off . It sounds preposterous really.
When I realized she hadn't told her man until she was being blackmailed, my first reaction was "What if he wanted kids? And this is how he finds out?" Glad someone else mentioned it. To date and get engaged and still not tell your man? I have watched every reaction and no one would say it. Granted, if they worked it out, great! But... it was just my first thought.
If you ask some crazy people (Chase Ross for example) he says that is still not a valid reason. This asshat went on to say that it shouldn’t matter and if you don’t want to date a trans person because you want your own biological child with your partner then you’re still transphobic since you could just adopt. Like he went off and tried to shame people about that.
What if someone married a biological woman who ended up being infertile for other reasons? It's really not that uncommon, should they stop loving/want to leave their spouse because of it, FUCK NO. they would likely find another way like adoption or a surrogate. "Maybe they want kids" is such a shallow way to hide your transphobia
Jennifer West that was my thought. So many cishet couples cant have children for medical reasons beyond their control. Some people are straight up born with a vagina and no uterus. Marrying a cis women doesn’t guarantee you biological children.
@@jenniferwest3085 ok but if that woman knew she was infertile it would've been WRONG to not tell her partner that too
@@eclaire1748 I actually agree on this like if the conversation of kids comes up between you and your S.O. you should totally be like "oh well I'm transgender so I can't have biological children" but that's definitely a conversation that should happen long before things get majorly serious between you (personally I cant stand kids and really dont want them, my husband DESPERATELY wants them, we are working through it) but I feel like just like the conversation about being trans in general, it shouldn't HAVE to be the entire footing of your relationship, when it comes up, it comes up, it should be as simple as that. I think straight up denying it is definitely a problem, but forcing a seriously uncomfortable conversation on the first date definitely shouldn't be expected of trans people.
Blaire interrupting her story saying “hi I’m trans” really fast is a mood I love her ahahah
I’m not trans but I do have a lot of issues espically relating to my mental health. I have bpd and I need to make that clear w any new relationship because they need to know just in case I have an episode or if they find out In some way I don’t want it to be a shock! I feel like espically being in a relationship that is very important I told my girlfriend immediately that I had bpd even b4 we got serious and I feel like it should be like that with any part of yourself! You have to share every aspect of yourself w your partner even those that you were ashamed of. This includes being trans!
Emerson Rose I did something similar when I met my now partner, in one of our first talks I told him I was chronically ill and then explained my illness to him, it’s something you can’t tell by looking at me, but is a massive part of my life. I figured if he couldn’t handle being with an ill person then fair enough, but at least I’d know before I got attached to him. He actually was familiar in looking after someone with a very similar illness, so he got it straight away and didn’t care at all ^_^
Danielle Dougal yea I do this also cause it’s part of my bpd because afraid of abandonment so i figure that it’s better people finding out right away b4 I get attached
same. i told my fiance when we started dating of my mental issues. tho i told him few weeks or a month of us dating that im autistic. he didnt understand autisim and didnt tink i have it but after being together for awhile he understands it now. it made ot of hills to climb over in our relationship thus why it was important to tell him before. cus now he had grown with me and learn to understand autisim and if anything he is very much more understanding compared to before we dated. :) trust, honesty, respect, loyality, and love are very important for any relationship. tho i hope nikkie told him before he proposed cus thsts a huge milstone in a relationship :/
Emerson Rose thank you! Didn’t dare to state a similar thing because people can get mad about that. As in equating being trans to being mentally ill. So thanks again. I’m very up front about my illnesses myself and I think that is crucial. Because it’s not phobic or discrimination if a potential partner would not be able to deal with an ill partner. It’s just not! It’s a thing that takes a toll on lifestyle, family and for some even children or other big decisions about the future. Doesn’t mean they hate me.
@devontodetroit bi polar disorder the persons sufferrs manic(episodes of high energy) and depressive episodes
Think about this: would you want to date someone who did drugs? Even though they were high functioning and they kept it secret (without you even suspecting because they’re high functioning) from you?
I’m sure most wouldn’t and would feel lied to.
This is the same thing. You’re supposed to tell the other person things about yourself like that.
i was dating a guy for 1,2 years and after 10 months of being together he told me hes trans.
😮 good example
Yo this is soooo good. Even as a recovering addict it is ALWAYS a conversation with a partner
My girlfriend is ok with me smoking Marijuana....
I think the trans aspect wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me when it comes to dating but hearing it late would cause some serious trust issues! I would also want to know if my partner is for example bi or infertile or has health issues... it's about trust!
@Mandy I can see your point and I think it's not worth mentioning in the first dates but in my relationship I want that we can be open about our sexuality, not that it matters that much but I feel it's just part of getting to know that special someone
@Mandy You should tell your partner you're bi when you guys are getting serious. I just think they should know that you're attracted to men and women. Also, a lot of people *do not* feel comfortable being in a relationship with bisexual people. If you're LGBT and you're in a heterosexual relationship, then your partner should know that you're LGBT.
Mandy Thanks for dissing a whole sexuality. Guess it lgt instead of lgbt.
@Lacey Kean Yeah, it does. Your partner isn't always going to be tolerant of it. Some girls would be uncomfortable knowing that their boyfriend sleeps with both men and women and vice versa. There is a lot of hate and discomfort towards bisexuality and that really sucks, but yes, of course it's worth mentioning to your SO.
I'm not saying it's as serious or as important as telling your partner that you're trans, but if you're LGBT, your partner should know that you're LGBT.
thankyou next did you only read the first words or why did you react like this
The thing that really bothers me about the whole Nikkie situation is how someone was trying to blackmail her about this. How skummy do you gave to be to do that?
It actually really breaks my heart that she felt like she HAD to tell it because someone was blackmailing her... Really messed up indeed
Atleast his partner knows that's what matters more
RottenHopper her****
I mean, just as skummy as to lie to your partner even after he proposed?
@@curerose6906 she at least admitted that she shouldn't have done that and it wasn't completely out of malice unlike the person that is deliberately holding this against her.
When I was teenager I used to listen this radio talk show called Loveline. It's like a podcast but in the 90s. LoL
Any whos.... one of the callers was a trans woman. She had gone on two dates with a guy and had a hard time figuring out how and when to come out to him.
The consensus was no later then the third date if they had planned continuing the relationship. Also, to discuss it either in a public place or over the phone for safety reasons.
I've always felt that was a good rule of thumb. Agree or disagree?
I think it's a good rule, telling someone on the first date is a needless risk, first dates are generally not that serious, why risk they MIGHT be a violent transphobe who'd attack the person? But by the third date yeah, it's a convo that needs to be had, in a public place is there's still any concerns for safety, but it needs to be talked about because obviously it's going somewhere.
I also think that unless it isn't obvious that you are trans you don't have to tell it at the first date. I mean it could be possible that you don't find that person interesting. Why telling every first date and risking that he/she is mean and tells everyone else you know?
Agree
Loveline got canceled! I loved that radio talk show. Too bad it's off air
@@a.h.6812 thats by far the biggest issue why they have a problem telling anyone, even their partners. If their partners decide to tell everyone around them the consequences could be catastrophic, especially if they are so deeply on stealth. While something like bpd depression or an invisible disability becoming knowledge to other people wouldn't be a big deal at all, or it would generally have very little impact.
I'm trans. I would never get involved with someone without their knowledge.
Because without that crucial information- there is NO CONSENT!
If you expect to enter a safe, loving, honest relationship with any person you need to be upfront with them about who you are. I’m bisexual I let anyone I date know hey this is me like it or not. If they aren’t cool with it it’s best to find out from the beginning.
I don't think any guy would ever be upset about their girlfriend being bi Lol. Obnoxious as it may be, we always think of that threesome in the back of our heads. Pretty sure it's a genetic problem.
@@OhHayFrands you can get that threesome as long we get one with another man
@@hellschicchannel2815 That's a rough sell. I'd need at least 8 beers or 4 Jameson's on the rocks before I'd even get close to agreeing.
Actually there’s some dude who don’t like that.
@@OhHayFrands shouldn't be. Yall want two girls we want to men. Fair trade.
FINALLY SOMEONE IS CALLING THIS OUT . Thank you .
Nothing bad at all that she’s trans but that’s not okay .
Blaire just wants views. She could care less. She's just trying to make Nikkie look wrong for her own gain AND I'M TRANS.
bogaloo1231 I’ve heard of your sequel called *bogaloo1337: Electric Bogaloo*
@@panlolis4742 that's like utter bullshit
Saying “I’m trans” doesn’t validate your point
Pan Lolis bullshit lol
A solid relationship is built on honesty.. I will just leave it at that.
Indeed!. Im a 46 year old straight white male. I am also Profoundly deaf. Often on Online singles group in Facebook, I make sure that the members know that I am deaf. I even make sure they know that I wear hearing aids and can speak well. It is IMPORTANT that people must know before we develop further .. from stranger to friendship.
Trust was built upon the foundation of honesty and truth. Not lies and deception.
I recently read this story about a trans woman’s experience with online dating and she specified in her profile that she was trans to eliminate the need for that conversation and she met up with a guy who got very handsy with her very quickly into the date and she got a strange feeling since he didn’t hesitate at all and that hadn’t been her experience with men in the past and before having sex she said “you know I’m trans right? It was in my profile?” And he absolutely lost his shit and luckily was able to get away before he got violent. Apparently he didn’t read the profile.
She did the right thing in trying to let men know and still had a dangerous situation. I could not imagine being a trans person living in fear almost anytime you go out with or meet someone new.
I love the way you discuss these issues so openly and honestly Blaire ❤️
@T Dirty
Is that what she did on her profile?
@T Dirty why are you victim blaming? It's the guys fault for not reading the whole thing. When I do online dating I read the entire bio of the other.
@john smith ok but it still isn't her fault. The other should read their entire bio. What if someome had a disease and wrote it In their bio. The other person would have no room to complain if they contracted it because they should have read the bio. Most of us assume that people will read our bio if they are Interested in more than just a hook up because honestly if you do want more than a hook up what reason do you have to not take the time to read their bio?
@john smith making sure they know is a good idea yes but still either way the man has just as much fault and responsibility to read the bio.
@john smith If YOU don't have the patience to read and later on find out something you're not into that's YOUR FAULT, not the other party's.
I just now remembered that when I met my now husband, 30 years ago, I told him right away that my eyes weren't really green and that I had tinted contacts in. Just seemed the right thing to do. LOL
Luana Hegglin haha how cute! 😄😄😍😍
@T Dirty I literally had a guy (not a bf, but there was just mild flirtation going on) go into my hair like he was checking to see if my hair was real. He mentioned how fluffy it was and went right to my scalp without asking. I knew what he was doing. In retrospect I guess that was intrusive, but since my hair all grows out of my head I didn't second guess it.
BurgundyandBlue1111 ugh guys like that are the worst. Why do they think they have any right to just... touch someone like that? Bleh 🤢
@@raerohan4241 btw guys get touched all the time without consent too. You get hands on your chest for no reason, for example. I personally find it really gross. But I guess some guys are just used to that kind of intrusive touching and just treat others the same.
@@dma93-ch I guess I should amend my statement to say that no one should touch other people randomly like that. I'm not talking someone you know well, I'm talking casual acquaintance, new friend, and strangers... Everyone should make sure the other is fine with skinship like that prior to initiating it.
“Now I personally- Hi, I’m trans- I never had...” LOL
Haha I loved that part.
Hi trans I'm dad
I feel like this applies to so many other relationships too. All I can think of is being upfront about wanting kids or not. Telling him you’re on the pill and skipping when he clearly stated he doesn’t want them. It’s unhealthy. I can understand why they react in a traumatized fashion…it wasn’t consensual. They consented to sex with a bio female, and any sex that is under fault pretenses isn’t consensual. I imagine they feel assaulted. I still find it abhorrent that they hurt the person, but I can understand the psychology behind it. Honesty with a partner about anything is so important. And like you said, why would you stay with someone that won’t except you the way you are.
i honestly had no idea she's trans lol didn't even think of it
Kali Southpaw you need a brain
@Kali Southpaw Do you have anything better to do ? Like dude I don't think any of us care that you "knew" which let's be real, you didn't know she was trans. So, hush up already
I thought it was known honestly.
@@trashyysushi please! Not everyone is blind to reality.
Me neither. It was weird watching the video even though I don't watch her. I was confused about whether or not she was mtf or if she was having a stupid trisha paytas moment.
If there’s “nothing wrong” with it then why hide it
why? because unfortunately people judge people for stuff like this. I totally get why she didn't want to be open about it before. Society is still immature for these topics
@@Nebulousss The kind of people that do that are not the kind of people you want close to you... If being honest pushes them away, it's for the best.
@@miguelcondadoolivar5149 But are you considering that telling someone you still don't fully trust could lead to things like being bullied or hurt in some way? You still gotta make sure you're not gonna get hurt by telling someone, I do agree with the decision Nikkie made.
There's people out there straight up killing them.
Nikki didn’t make her channel about being trans, so it didn’t need to be mentioned.
Everyone was once a baby. The vast majority of people aren’t trans -_-
^ this
That is transphobic.
Jame Gumb it’s not transphobic, it’s fact - but i cant tell if you’re being serious or not so i’ll take it as is lmao
@@jamegumb7298 that's not transphobic
I think you guys are taking that a bit too seriously...
Blair I love you so so so much. I watch these another trans people and my head spins at the ridiculous things they say and believe and ppl call me transphobic for disagreeing. The fact that you don’t ride with what everyone else believes and have you’re on mind and make sense of thing logically. Oh my God girl it’s so refreshing