This should be a video any person who wants kids should watch, solo or not. Honestly, the next time anyone asks why I'm child-free, I hope I can remember to point them to this video. Being a parent is expensive in every aspect: practical care, mental, emotional and physical abilities and then giving the child the best opportunities within your income so they can be independent and successful adults. Great video as always.
These are great tips and a lot of these things should also be considerations even if you're not solo parenting - I wish I'd put more effort into making sure my "village" would be my village. My partner works long hours and drives for work so Monday to Friday it's just me. Those that said they'd be there for me just aren't at all and I wish I'd taken the time to set my expectation and understand theirs first! I also breastfeed so I'm up feeding all night even on the weekends. Someone who would watch my daughter while I take a little nap would have been such a blessing
As someone who is also planning for solo motherhood, this video is super helpful! As as aside, it's absolutely ridiculous how expensive child care is in many parts of the world. Even worse, in my city it's additionally incredibly difficult to find an available childcare spot. Society expects a portion of our generation to have kids, but it's made so difficult to do so.
It’s super hard to have children in the US right now even with a standard family dynamic, let alone become a solo parent. I hope we see a positive change here so people can still have the option to have children and be able to afford them 😕
This video is phenomenal. I'm a 30 year old woman in the US, and I would've so loved to be a solo mama... It's just not feasible here. I'll have to wait until I am partnered. But I am so happy for you Briony! I've watched you for so many years and am just thrilled with how elegantly you move through womanhood. You are a role model.
I’ve been a silent supporter for years now on UA-cam, since your menstrual cup reviews and cloth pads! I’ve never really been on to engage in comments but I was so inspired by your fostering journey and it has been weighing on my heart since I realised I didn’t have to be retired to do it! Now I have my own house and feel like it’s time I took the step but I’d really like your advice. You’ve talked a bit about how the system has made it difficult for you, but hoped you could go into a bit more detail about the support you had (or lack of) from your LA. I live up north so I know different LA’s work slightly differently and I’d probably look at going through an agency but still would love more insight from you!
I just wanna say thank you for all the videos. I don't plan to get a partner and have a child the 'traditional' way and can't conceive naturally due to personal reasons. You help me think of the hard hitting questions and made me want and start to save up to have a child in the next 5 years or so. You've been such a help, thank you so much.
I agree people need help. I feel pregnant 2 months before turning 40 and my life has been a weird journey to say the least. The babies dad left me and didn't contact me all through the pregnancy. It was a lonely sad time filled with high blood pressure by the end. I still live with my old dad who is 75 years old and housing has been a nightmare for me in my town to find. Babys dad won't entertain taking baby for a few hours or having us live with him. Friends have been far and few. It's been a hard journey but I'd not change it for the world.
i don't want children for a long time and won't ever be an auntie since i'm an only child so once friends have babies i'm looking forward to being that support!
I would say try watching content from Laura High, who offers the perspective of a donor conceived person. Her content is very thought provoking and has an important message.
Another point to add about the new funded childcare hours is that they currently only apply to England. Those of us in Wales and Scotland are not going to receive them as it stands, which is super annoying.
Hi, informative video but I just wondered why it's titled 'solo mum'? As I'm sure there are many solo Dads (& by choice) out there too, and I feel as though this information is equally important for them.
You're bringing up a good point, and I agree that a lot of advice from the video would apply to solo dads as well. Or any kind of parenting, actually. But I think being a solo dad is probably quite different, for example when it comes to giving birth and breastfeeding, financial aspects of parental leave (I honestly have no idea what a solo dad is entitled to) and ways of building a village. And Bryony can only speak from her experience as a solo mum.
Just saying, this is such an outdated way of thinking. There are so many situations in which children don't have two parents directly raising them, whether it be that one has passed away, no contact due to ab*se, relationship breakdown followed by one party moving away etc. The important thing is that whoever is raising the child is able to meet all their needs, which it is clear Bryony is with Oryn. While of course he will notice that other kids have a dad and may have moments of wishing he did, it is no different to someone whose dad passed when they were a baby, and isn't a reason not to become a solo parent
Society isn’t like this anymore. Some children have 2 dads, some have 2 mums, some have a solo parent. You’re thinking of a very outdated societal norm.
This should be a video any person who wants kids should watch, solo or not. Honestly, the next time anyone asks why I'm child-free, I hope I can remember to point them to this video. Being a parent is expensive in every aspect: practical care, mental, emotional and physical abilities and then giving the child the best opportunities within your income so they can be independent and successful adults. Great video as always.
These are great tips and a lot of these things should also be considerations even if you're not solo parenting - I wish I'd put more effort into making sure my "village" would be my village. My partner works long hours and drives for work so Monday to Friday it's just me. Those that said they'd be there for me just aren't at all and I wish I'd taken the time to set my expectation and understand theirs first! I also breastfeed so I'm up feeding all night even on the weekends. Someone who would watch my daughter while I take a little nap would have been such a blessing
As someone who is also planning for solo motherhood, this video is super helpful! As as aside, it's absolutely ridiculous how expensive child care is in many parts of the world. Even worse, in my city it's additionally incredibly difficult to find an available childcare spot. Society expects a portion of our generation to have kids, but it's made so difficult to do so.
It’s super hard to have children in the US right now even with a standard family dynamic, let alone become a solo parent. I hope we see a positive change here so people can still have the option to have children and be able to afford them 😕
it's messed up, isnt it. literally the ability to propagate the species is such a low priority for governments.
Yes i wholeheartedly believe the US should provide paid maternity leave at least 6 months!
This video is phenomenal. I'm a 30 year old woman in the US, and I would've so loved to be a solo mama... It's just not feasible here. I'll have to wait until I am partnered. But I am so happy for you Briony! I've watched you for so many years and am just thrilled with how elegantly you move through womanhood. You are a role model.
Why? So many women are doing it in the US!
I’ve been a silent supporter for years now on UA-cam, since your menstrual cup reviews and cloth pads! I’ve never really been on to engage in comments but I was so inspired by your fostering journey and it has been weighing on my heart since I realised I didn’t have to be retired to do it! Now I have my own house and feel like it’s time I took the step but I’d really like your advice. You’ve talked a bit about how the system has made it difficult for you, but hoped you could go into a bit more detail about the support you had (or lack of) from your LA. I live up north so I know different LA’s work slightly differently and I’d probably look at going through an agency but still would love more insight from you!
I just wanna say thank you for all the videos. I don't plan to get a partner and have a child the 'traditional' way and can't conceive naturally due to personal reasons. You help me think of the hard hitting questions and made me want and start to save up to have a child in the next 5 years or so. You've been such a help, thank you so much.
I agree people need help. I feel pregnant 2 months before turning 40 and my life has been a weird journey to say the least. The babies dad left me and didn't contact me all through the pregnancy. It was a lonely sad time filled with high blood pressure by the end. I still live with my old dad who is 75 years old and housing has been a nightmare for me in my town to find. Babys dad won't entertain taking baby for a few hours or having us live with him. Friends have been far and few. It's been a hard journey but I'd not change it for the world.
i don't want children for a long time and won't ever be an auntie since i'm an only child so once friends have babies i'm looking forward to being that support!
Aunties don't have to be blood related :)
I would say try watching content from Laura High, who offers the perspective of a donor conceived person. Her content is very thought provoking and has an important message.
Thank you for another informative video Bryony! Lots to think about and so helpful to have it all here!
Another point to add about the new funded childcare hours is that they currently only apply to England. Those of us in Wales and Scotland are not going to receive them as it stands, which is super annoying.
Hi Bryany! This is a great video with lots of helpful information. Thank you!
Thank you for making these videos! So helpful and informative
Thank you so much.
How do you meet other solo mums?
Can you do a live Q&A?
Hi, informative video but I just wondered why it's titled 'solo mum'? As I'm sure there are many solo Dads (& by choice) out there too, and I feel as though this information is equally important for them.
Because men can’t have children.
because she's giving advice from her own perspective, and she's a mum, not a dad.
You're bringing up a good point, and I agree that a lot of advice from the video would apply to solo dads as well. Or any kind of parenting, actually.
But I think being a solo dad is probably quite different, for example when it comes to giving birth and breastfeeding, financial aspects of parental leave (I honestly have no idea what a solo dad is entitled to) and ways of building a village. And Bryony can only speak from her experience as a solo mum.
@@justathumb The title is directed to the audience.
You ever thought about your child feeling depressed ir sad that they dont have a dad when they see all their friends and classmates with their dads
Just saying, this is such an outdated way of thinking. There are so many situations in which children don't have two parents directly raising them, whether it be that one has passed away, no contact due to ab*se, relationship breakdown followed by one party moving away etc. The important thing is that whoever is raising the child is able to meet all their needs, which it is clear Bryony is with Oryn. While of course he will notice that other kids have a dad and may have moments of wishing he did, it is no different to someone whose dad passed when they were a baby, and isn't a reason not to become a solo parent
I second this. Speaking as the child of a single parent, I felt different not having a dad who was part of my life.
Grandfathers, uncles and other male figures can be like a Dad!
Society isn’t like this anymore. Some children have 2 dads, some have 2 mums, some have a solo parent. You’re thinking of a very outdated societal norm.
Nah. Many dads aren't good dads anyway - and a child may feel even more depressed having a toxic/distant dad than just no dad.