Cruel Parents TRAINED Me With THIS
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- Опубліковано 6 лип 2024
- Kendra Bryan grew up in one of the most disciplined and abusive cults imaginable, after her parents got hold of a book called To Train Up A Child by IBLP (Institute In Basic Life Principles) members Michael and Debi Pearl. The horrific book tormented her childhood. This is her story.
Follow Kendra on / thekendrab
Check Shelise Ann Sola's channel: / @cultstoconsciousness . In Shelise's words: The book that is linked to 3 deaths of children, completely warped Kendra's life. Her parents took the abusive techniques to "train" their 7 children to the extreme.
Andrew Gold links:
/ andrewgold1
/ andrewgold_ok
/ andrewgold_ok
/ andrewgold
#iblp #shinyhappypeople #duggars
Chapters:
0:00 When Dad Became Papa
4:00 The Paddle...with SPLINTERS
6:30 To Train Up A Child & IBLP
7:45 ...and they do this to BABIES!
9:20 Who are the Shiny Happy People (Duggars)
12:15 Autism vs Childhood Horrors PTSD
14:50 Horrific methods for child training
17:30 Michael and Debi Pearl Still Going!
20:00 Hiding behind religion
25:55 What they did to her little brother
30:30 The most HAUNTING image
33:10 How it's affected them as adults
35:30 What they do to Special Needs kids
37:37 The hallmarks of the IBLP Shiny Happy People cult
40:00 Child services and ESCAPE
44:20 Family tracked her down!
50:00 Things got even worse
53:00 The cult of one (relationships)
1:00:00 Hot dog stand - Розваги
Thoughts on this cult? Hit the like!
Some books shouldn't be published
@@ShaunMeaney99education is key so I think any book needs to be written and released so ppl can learn and ppl don't make the sale mistakes or fall for the same tricks next time
It is not a cult Andrew. What they followed was a teaching that her family took too far. My family followed similar things in this teaching. However, many of my 9 siblings were college educated, served in the military, grew up with well adjusted families. The problem is when families take teachings too far with no dicernment whatsoever. You have to take the good from teachings and throw away the bad. There was a teaching when I was raising my children called "Growing kids God's Way". I examined the teaching. Used the stuff that was good, threw away what was bad (esp their baby segment was bad bordering on dangerous sometimes). The world is always that way too. People give you advice (way too often), you keep the good and throw away the rest. That is called wisdom. God is not to blame for people making wrong choices and giving bad advice. Hoping she has healing from the garbage her family put her through. I have been through similar times, especially with my 2 ex-abusive spouses. Shalom and healing to all!
Punishment reminds me of my childhood in Jehovas witnesses…the Bible was the reason for getting punished and love…if you love your child don’t forget the punishment…punishment is Love…that’s what they say…
@@MrsMia2703 Ironic since the J Witnesses don't follow the Bible. Sorry for your upbringing.
This is so disgusting. You’re not only breaking your child’s will. You’re breaking their spirit, their imagination, their trust, their sense of security, their innocence, their happiness…every single beautiful element of humanity is crushed before they even know how to explore it all.
Can confirm, as I was raised similarly. It sets you up for failure as an adult since you have no confidence in yourself and little ability to know what you want/need and pursue it.
Absolutely!
How could a parent treat their children this way ? Despicable !!
I grew up in a narcissistic family and that kind of family system is a cult itself. And whilst doing my own research to find out why I was depressed I often found reports about people being wrongly diagnosed with autism when it was actually CPTSD.
If you break your child’s will with emotional and/or physical violence like your guest describes it, it will become numb, scared of being close to people, scared of loud noises, they might get OCD and much more, all of which are common symtoms of autism.
You can have both, and it’s important for Drs to know the difference because some of the trauma skills for dissociation such as grounding using senses is stressful when you have sensory sensitivity. Narcissistic abuse is awful and definitely part of cults, but not all narcissists use corporal punishment. The combination of both is really evil. Then add in autism and difficulties in communicating what is happening to you, recovery becomes very difficult.
Yikes this comment hits way too close to home 😩
Yes, definitely. I also had a narcissistic parent. Im still not totally sure if im suffering of only cptsd or both cptsd and autism. Though, who cares. I really only get along with animals, i fear humans, no matter if its conscious or unconscious, my nervous system goes bonkers when i have to deal with any people 😵💫
@@tiarianamanna973 only relating to animals and not humans is quite common for autistic people and I would encourage you to explore both possibilities as being Autistic means you might need some adaptations in your healing/treatment. I didn’t know about being autistic until I got to a place of reducing the dissociation and Omgsh it was like a tidal wave hit me and put me on my butt. I hope you can work it out 💜
You're right that there is a big overlap in symptoms between CPTSD and autism. However, one person can have both, and I do think in a lot of cases the child is already autistic and is then traumatized on top of that. Autism also has a genetic component, and it is easy to see why some autistic parents could be especially vulnerable to a cult consisting of rigid rules and routines, with a supposed guaranteed positive outcome for their kids, where they can live quietly out in the country with limited social interaction.
To abuse the Bible and the name of Christ in such a horrendous way is just unfathomable! I’m so so sorry you had to deal with such horrific things!
What an amazing, intelligent woman. Because of her experience she can help so many people get through their trauma. She turned darknesss into light. All respect to you Kendra 🙏❤️
🥹💜 thank you for your kindness and support!!
Very sad this is more common than ppl think 💔my husband and I joined a church after a while we realized it was more like a cult I was pressured to disconnect from my friends that didn’t go to this church if I couldn’t convince them to join it and I witnessed the mothers using “ switches” to “ discipline “ or “ correct “ their very young children once I witnessed that we decided to leave the church I wasn’t gonna do that to my children never ever!! I’m so sorry this happened to Kendra 💔😢 as a Christian mother I’ve never felt God wanted me to Beat my children !! You’re supposed to love , cherish, protect your children not beat them !! Sending some love to Kendra ❤❤❤❤
Hi I have witnessed this. The Pearls have many books. They have a website and are still writing, Michael still makes videos, they are still very much defending how to train up a child in their parenting blog posts. Please do a feature on Debbie Pearl’s helpmeet book, disgusting, and look into their involvement with the IBLP (Josh Duggar’s church). This all needs to come out. It is dangerous and revolting.
My daughter and husband joined a small church whose pastor tried to control their lives. One congregational meeting became confrontational and the pastor had his elders lock the people in the building til they saw things his way, which of course, he claimed was God working directly through him. Needless to say my daughter and husband left that church.
Absolutely heartbreaking, never should a baby be hit for any reason!
@@G.G.8GGOmg glad they got out of there, pretty sure that's illegal (false imprisonment?) But I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess no consequences were faced for that pastor
I was aware of this group and their appalling methods as a homeschool mom. Thank you both for shining a light on this abusive group!
It cast a terrible light on homeschool parents when most do it because of devotion to their kids education
Yes, home schooling can be great. Then there's this stuff.
If I was aware of this group I'd call in the authority's
@roxieolemeda3196
*Authorities*. Is the plural.
I can’t even handle this, especially babies. I just want to thank my parents of 8 of us who gave us love and care. This is so shocking, I am crying just thinking of my 5 precious children that I never spanked. Love is the answer and I always sang them the cute song called 4 hugs a day, that’s the minimum. Bless you for your strength you amazing woman. You will bless and help .so many.🙏🏽💝
I homeschooled my children very effectively and successfully. A person in our church gave me the book. My husband and I were disgusted by the principles in it. Most people who homeschool do so because we are dissatisfied with the education system. Our children were very socialise. They were involved in every sporting activity going and were able to converse with adults intelligently.
My parents didn’t need a book to know how to be abusive assholes. My father would cower me into the corner, pick me up by my leg, dangle me upside-down and whip the living shit out of me, drop me on the floor and tell me to shut up or he’d give me something to cry about. Mommy dearest called us “lying, little sacks of shit” and beat me with a potato masher. She also held knives and scissors to my throat while I was knocked to the floor. Good times.
Many of us can relate
@@lindasands1433 sad but true 💔 fucking disgusting
"give us something to cry about..." I heard that line many many times.
@@Indigo445nm that’s when you know they’re truly heartless.
That's extremely sad. I can't say anything. Jesus doesn't want this. 😢
I had very abusive parents as well. When I was 8 years old or 9 I also use to have that fantasy of getting kidnapped and taken away by someone that loved me. I thought I was the only one. It’s Kind of an ironic thing considering child kidnappers actually exist. But at that age it seemed to me almost a good thing. It’s sad when you feel so unsafe with your own family that you long for a stranger to save you. Big hugs and lots of love to you my dear for surviving such a horrendous life.
The Pearls should be jailed for child abuse.😢
This is the second time I’ve heard of these EVIL VILE beings, the Peal’s should be in 🤬 PRISON ! I feel SOOO incredibly sick hearing this again !! 😭💔 Bless you Kendra, for speaking out.. I couldn’t imagine, living through this HELL ! Apologies for cursing, but I think I can be forgiven, being the subject it is ! 🤔 HOW & WHY are they allowed to speak & publish books on crimes against children 🇦🇺💔😭
I think you're good I don't think hell counts as a curse word in the context you used it.
I feel like you could be telling my story. I grew up in Indiana and had so many similarities in my childhood. Just like you, i snuck out a couple months after turning 18, only I didn't leave a note. My mother knew where I worked and came there and tried to convince me to come back. I refused. Thankfully, my dad had already left, so I had a support system to fall back on when I escaped. He was super surprised when I called him. I'm 52 and I left at 18, and I am STILL deconstructing. I still have my moments of "OMG did the rapture happen???" "Oh, I can't think that. God will know and I'll go to hell." Night terrors. My poor husband has to be careful how he moves in the night or I'll startle awake and freak out to this day.
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
This sounds like some of the sleep training methods and bottle feeding schedules for babies that parents are advised to follow by doctors and pediatricians!
And something to consider is that some parents treat their kids like this without even reading this book. Not all humans are meant to be parents!
You should never do that to a horse or donkey either!
Exactly! No living creature at all should be treated this way.
Thank you for sharing this. I am a young mother now in a happy relationship. I grew up with the Michael and Debby Pearl child rearing style, and then as an 18 year old was engaged to my husband and studying Debbie Pearl’s Created to be His Helpmeet. So thankful my husband ended up being a wonderful man and I’ve un-learned the brainwashing. The fear and dread of life is gone for me logically, but I totally relate to the physical reactions.
What else to say? I’m speechless. I’m 51 and I never imagined these things could happen… Beyond sadness. I hope & wish, from the bottom of my heart, that EACH and EVERY kid/adult who is or went through this, find Real love and healing. I embrace them in a warm hug. 🤍 Thanks Andrew for sharing these testimonies… 🌷
This is why we need to tell anyone who will listen about these things. Education and truth will set us all free.
Oh my word - this is all so terribly disturbing. We had two children and never ever used any form of physical punishment. Not even a slap! They are now in their mid thirties and are both wonderful, kind people. I could not be more proud of them. This is horrifying!!
Thank you
Thank you Andrew for having Kendra onto share some of her story with all of us. 💗 I wish Kendra all of the best on her healing journey. 💞
Kendra is an amazing lady who has gone through so much. Thanks for having her on to share her story.
This conversation has given me goosebumps as well, i have so much i wish i could say. I was adopted at 5 , left home at 12. She is a courageous young lady. Blessed be the children.
interesting. all the best to you
@@hshx1n Thank you, right back at you.
I identify, so much i wish i could say. When life has been a long chain of all sorts of traumatic events, it is hard to speak about it. Where to begin, is always my first question? I get confused, feeling like i'm a "poor me" and should not complain because i'm alive and i have a nice life (now, finally) ..but there's so much that wants & needs to be said. I hope you find your words to share. All the best to you.
@@hsk2909 🕉️ Namaste 🙏
Can I just say, getting ANY degree as someone with autism, ADHD and cPTSD (mine isn't cult-related) is no joke. I couldn't do it at 18 - so I have all the respect for Kendra making it while she had a small child!
Speaking of autism and PTSD, autistic symptoms basically ARE the symptoms of someone suffering traumatic stress. Put a non-autistic through similar stresses to those we suffer (eg subject them to enough noise and light to cause sensory overload) and they immediately show our 'stereotypical' 'problematic' behaviours - rocking, meltdowns, the works.
So many autistic 'symptoms' are just seeing trauma happen in real time, and that isn't talked about nearly enough.
When my children were young, I followed Michael and Debi Pearl. I even bought their books in bulk and left them like in doctors office waiting rooms and gave them out to new moms. Knowing what I know now I’m just sickened by the fact that I follow them or spread their info. What they preach ignores the fact that even small children are human beings, and have feelings and opinions, and it is especially hard on children who are more strong-willed. It’s also hard on their mothers when they learn better years after their children are grown. My guilt overwhelmed me. I’ve apologized, but it can’t change how i treated them.
Maybe you can’t change the past but an apology will definitely help. I am glad you changed your view on these books and my guess is that you were influenced by others to believe the words in them. I understand you feeling guilt but good for you for growing into a person who could recognize how wrong your prior thoughts were. You changed and you apologized. Thank you for doing the work. That is who you are now.
We were on the edge of raising our family in this cult BUT realized it was evil!! I wonder about her siblings and where they are in their beliefs
I was given the Train Up A Child book when I was pregnant and when I read the blanket training part I threw it in the trash--I thought it was so wicked to set up a child, a baby no less, to hit them, great big NO to that.
My ex husband a cop, his sister a teacher and her husband a psychologist swore by this book. Never looked into it, I already saw red flags in that relationship after the wedding.
A psychologist? 🤦♀️
@garden_3130 at the time he was, I recently found out through my son that now he does social service works.
@@Dawnsdelightsart that’s almost even worse. Sheesh.
@@garden_3130He's a sadist, because the effects of such treatment are well understood.
Yes!!! It’s crazy how many of these principles have infiltrated our society…. Doctors, pediatricians recommended stuff that goes along with this mindset that Children need to be broken 😢
I first watched Kendra on Shelise’s channel then watched the Shiny Happy People documentary.
I already knew a bit about Bill Gothard’s evil teaching’s and Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar but I hadn’t put it all together yet, which I have now.
The Blanket training of young babies disgusted me beyond belief!! I wanted to jump through the TV and rip Michelle Duggar’s throat out.
The evil teachings of training kids the IBLP way is abhorrent! Their dating methods are beyond back wards. No wonder Jinger Duggar and some of her sisters left. I feel sad for them all. They love their parents dearly but couldn’t take the abuse.
I wish then all the best sincerely andI mean that with all of my heart. 🤗🌺
Well done to Kendra to for putting her kid first! That’s what real mum”s do! Your a star Kendra 🌟
I watched the documentary but I must have missed the blanket training one. These p creep me out. Ewwweee 🤯
@@roxieolemeda3196 you might have to forgive me, as I said I watched Kendra on Shelise’s channel Cults to Consciousness and also watched Michelle Duggar talking about it on another channel. She was totally gleeful in explaining how to do it and it was teaching the babies discipline. I wanted to reach through the screen and inflict pain on her for harming babies and I watched Shiny Happy People.
So all the memories have blended.
This woman is amazing. I have no idea where people like this get their help or their drive to get help. She’s very pretty and young single moms are a a cultural obsession is all that I can come up with. And it’s good that she has it and I hope that she goes far with it. The world is better for these stories coming out. I learned a lot about my own upbringing around fundamentalists and how that effected my life and also how my mother’s sadistic tendencies when she was whacked with anxiety would send her into fundy land cultural behaviours.
My parents read how to train up a child. My mother made a paddle for me out of an oak 2x4 and drilled holes in it. Your story is so much like mine. Just listening to this has brought back so many horrible memories. I'm almost 31 years old with 3 kids and I'm breaking the cycle with my kids.
This book was partly responsible for the death of Hana Alemu Williams. She was adopted from Ethiopia and murdered by her adoptive parents through extreme abuse
I was beaten with a holey board by teachers in school; lots of people in my age group were. And yes, the "adults" doing it were very clearly enjoying it. They'd laugh and taunt you. It wasn't a cult thing, either, these were ordinary elementary schools.
The board of education.
Same
Yeah.
Had to stand in front of class and get spanked with the wood paddle with holes in it. Bent over the assistant principals leg.
My father (who was ex 101st airborne and worked in the prison system for 30 years) got wind of it and showed up at school. We went into the assistant principals office. My dad took the paddle out of the AP desk, handed it to him and invited him to try that shit on someone his own size.
I wasn’t paddled again.
@@johnnyripple8972 what decade did this happen in?
@@sjohnson65456 elementary school. Early 80’s.
What a strong and brilliant woman!
That’s how I got into nursing, I got tired of being raped daily from ages 2-11 and told my moms bf if he came in my room or bathroom while I showered I’d kill him. I got kicked out hitched up to NYC, had to do some extremely violent things so pimps & druggies couldn’t sell me!! Lucky for me group of dealers watched me for 6mths and saw I wasn’t a crackhead thief mugger ect I cleaned bodegas the dry cleaners laundromat for food money slept in the sewers roof tops train tunnels. They took me in gave me rules no drugs no getting in trouble and put the word out I was protected. I went to college my daughters went to college we all do animal rescue and let ppl camp out for free who are homeless I’ve let families live in my home and cared for their dogs. One of the viewers here said they felt sorry for me and I must not have any friends…I loved the judgement, but honestly didn’t expect different
I do animal rescue too. I live offgrid and help others who need help! You are doing an amazing job. Keep up the good work.
Dear Klapback: You are smart, kind, a light in the dark… Keep shining for GOOD…
No offense, but a lot of that sounds extremely exaggerated, but ok
Animal rescue is something amazing, and yet I can imagine it can be heartbreaking as well! Hats off to you! As far as the comment on YT go: they are cheap, and it is easier to talk from 'behind the screen' than it is to say the same thing to one's face. So, don't even bother with it, you are obviously a lot tougher than anything some clown can throw at you through computer comments!
That's just crazy 😖😔, glad you made it out, but these are some deep cuts 😔
I can hear her voice cracking and shaking at times. Bless her for speaking out. 💕
She is so aware and intelligent. Wishing her well.
As someone who is autistic as well and had to take care of their brothers from 12 onwards, while having a narcissistic mother and a father who was extremely absent - I just can't fathom what that kind of extreme abuse must have done with her - how did she manage to go on? She's absolutely amazing and so strong.
I'm 24 and still trying to get over what happened to me (I'm still a mess tho). My youth had a few very nice moments, which kept me going. But I imagine Kendras must have been hell. I admire her, I think I have a new role model xD
My paddle was called "The Board of Education"👀
Ugh knew someone with one called that, guess it's common unfortunately.. I'm sorry you were treated that way you didn't deserve it
Kendra, what an amazing, strong woman you are! Thank you for sharing your story. It will help many, many people 🤗
Pretty sure I grew up in some splinter group of this cult. I was raised in Pennsylvania as a Pentecostal but I was born Catholic. My parents were always finding smaller churches in people's homes or on their farms and we'd go to "prayer meetings" during the week where we often would fall asleep at someone else's house because we were out so late. I went to a small Christian school where we learned from self paced books and tests through the ABECCA system. My family was bits and pieces of all of the male dominated, misogynistic religions where the men can paddle you whenever they wanted. I remember it being creepy and I picked up on it at a young age. Maybe I gave out the don't f with me vibe, but thank God I was never messed with other than the paddling by the 20 something principal. My twin sister ended up pretty messed up and my brother moved 3k miles away from my family but we've remained somewhat close. My parents are still alive and married and we've talked about it before. My father is still a born again Christian, giving his "tithe" money to online preachers. I've been a nurse practitioner for almost 30 years so I did well professionally. I ended up married twice and the second time to an awful narcissist. So who knows what messes people up.
The Duggar family on TLC in America use this book. There is actually an episode where the mother has hit the little girl Josie on her hands and had her quoting bible verses whilst she looked at her little pink beaten hands. It made me want to cry. Sick people in this world. This is the same family whose eldest son of 19 kids is in prison for possession of dark CSA vids. This has to stop.
Yeah I want to meet that whispery sickly sweet sadistic horror of a mother in a dark alley.
That is awful. I never saw that.
I wonder if Josh growing up so isolated from girls other than his sisters and watching violence being enacted against them helped develop his twisted tastes. Obviously that is no excuse for his behavior and he is still responsible for his own actions, but that could be a risk factor that parents considering this kind of child rearing should consider.
@@justrachel4496 certainly something to consider. Force and fear might get the parent the short term behaviours they are after, but raising a child is hardly a short term endeavour. Force, fear and pain seem the easy way out.
@@christinegivens9048Absolutely ! America has all these crazy cults, and export their toxic garbage all over the planet, through the media and missionaries. Tedd Tripp, Reb Bradley, they're all of a kind. And making the world a worse place, one family at a time !
You are a really good listener Andrew. I had similar abuse and this woman is remarkably strong to have risen above this .
Listening to this woman speak feels like a literal weight lifting, hearing someone else strong and brave living with C-ptsd makes me feel less alone. Sometimes it’s hard to feel connected to others who (thankfully) can’t imagine what I went through.
I’ve never understood so clearly why speaking up might matter
I love the fact that it's 8 hrs away and it says someone is waiting. Should catch some of this I will be awake.
Holy crap. That story of walking into a quiet room and fearing you missed the rapture… I felt that so much. My blood will still run cold sometimes if something is off or my husband is in the restroom and I don’t hear him in the house.
I naively entered a preschool when I was younger because I had been hired as a preschool teacher. I was about 20 years old. There was a huge sign that was over the door that said "Train up a Child". I remember noticing it and thinking the last preschool I worked at (my friend's mom owned one) didn't have that and I thought it was strange. Well, it turned out to be a Christian preschool. I was quickly fired without being given a reason. I knew that I was not a bad teacher and always loved working with kids but was kind of glad because I didn't feel comfortable there and they had weird rules that didn't make sense. Turns out that they had a similar mindset to what she is speaking of, corporal punishment was allowed through parents permission and they were closed down a few months later! It was a successful school for many years yet I knew no one whose children went there. It was bizarre to have that hiding in plain sight.
This is short very hard to listen to particularly the part about the babies spirit being broken
Cults uses your laugh and hapiness and wishes as a extortion and blackmail to enslave you.
She is such a compelling and eloquent speaker. This was an excellent interview.
You’re so kind, thank you 💜
It breaks my heart to hear these kinds of things. The 'rod' in context is the shepherd's stick they would use to lovingly guide their sheep not BEAT them... Or protect them by actually beating off dangerous creatures... Not ever meant for sheep or children. Its meant to say give your children guidance and boundaries, values, integrity. God loves us and wants us to know and love Him. But not out of dread or fear
What a beautiful lady!
Thank you for speaking out Kendra.
Love and strenght from Holland ❤❤❤
Sorry kids are treated this way in this day! We are not a civilized people until we care for the children
Can we create and sign a petition f.e. for Amazon against selling this book? Please, Andrew, let us know, I will sign it immediately and my friends too.
Banning books is stupid, let people decide what they want to read and or believe.
Enough with banning shit. How will you sift out the psychos then?!
@@daltondenun858 Have you watched the same video as I did? Haven´t you understand that this books causes PTSD and abuse of children?
@@daltondenun858This book by the Pearls is abuse porn ! It promoted crime, and should be banned, like the Anarchist's Cookbook.
I used to think this too, but they pointed out that that would just feel like validation to the Pearls and they would just push harder. Probably better to just educate on how horrible the book is
What an amazing interview WOW Thank you for sharing with us all. So much appreciated. xxx
I know a woman who did the whole blanket training thing and spanked her 5 month old for crying. She's a nurse. I tried so hard to persuade her that it was wrong, especially according to the Bible which never endorses this garbage. Anyway, that 5 month old has been in therapy since she was around 12 or 13 and really messed up psychologically.
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)
In original, it used to be a rod training. Big families were norm, so harsh discipline was inevitable at the time. Not all things can be explained when there is whole bunch of other important work to do.
In modern times, we have a bit more time, but still, softer or harder your style of raising a child, child end up traumatized any way.
Many writers of old time , on the other hand, never blamed their parents for physical discipline. If they saw it as an harsh, but intrinsically kind act rather than angry outburst.
Charles Darwin was physically disciplined and moraly judged by his parents and sister siblings, but he grew as an exceptionally empathic and clever individual.
Most immigrants to west are, on the other hand, shocked by how soft western parents are and how unruly , egocentric, unhelping and insenditive kids are.
Probably, it works totally other way around on what this video talks about.
I work with people from very harsh traditional upbringing and they really love their parents and care about them all their lives in a genuine and healthy way.
@@eyennordic348 crying isn't naughty when it's your only way to communicate. Their practices totally mess up normal psychological development . You can't take 1 line of a book and use it to hit babies sorry. To me that line means to teach your kids about God and how to be a good moral person.
@@hannahbaxter8825 Yes, and we are to mirror God's ways to our children. When we cry out to us, He always answers. We should do the same for our children and answer them when they cry, not punish them for it. Listening to this interview makes me very, very thankful for my wonderful parents.
@@eyennordic348 Training involves a lot more than what you are depicting. Nothing is wrong with having hard and fast rules and structure. My parents did and I know that was just one of the many ways they showed their love. At the same time, no one was beaten, nor forced to behave in a natural way. For example, a child wanting to reach for a toy is normal and healthy. It should be encouraged, not beaten out of them. Hitting a baby is wrong on so many levels. The Bible says the kingdom of God belongs to children. They are who we should be emulating, not distorting. They come to us in all innocence and softness, and our discipline (which involves guidance, teaching, and modeling good behaviour) should only encourage them to be their best, not to beat them into submission. Breaking a child's will is unBiblical as is teaching them to turn off their reasoning skills and their minds. The Bible says "Come let us REASON together" (emphasis mine)and the victims of this kind of abuse lose the ability to discern what is good or evil. They fall for anything.
Thank you for trying to talk sense into them, that would cause them to stop this torture.
I feel like she is telling my story. In many ways. Very healing.
Thank you both for bringing this out.
Thank you so much to both of you for this interview and discussion.
Kendra you could call your book
"Not Pearls of Wisdom"
This top down heavy parenting where the goal is to break the child's will is widespread and on some levels played out in most peoples homes across the world unfortunately both in the past and perpetuated still today...
Blessings To You Kendra💜💗💜
Must be the book my mom read. She followed all theses forms of punishment. She would hit us and we wouldn't even know why. If we asked why we would be hit again. We didn't no we were abused until we were older our mother told us God wanted her punish us this way. She would spank us and if we cried she would spank us more. I could go on and on with everything she would do, needless to say I've been in therapy for 30 yrs. God bless you, Kendra
Yesss, what a success story! I did enjoy the conversation so much! Kendra is such a brave and beautiful person! Love your work, Andrew!!!
The problem is people who just want to abuse children will just take whatever they want from a source
Having that background she did more in life than me.. but she's not the norm..
I was or am in a cult but find it too difficult to navigate trough society and still is.
coming from her background to be a national director health care company.. wow.. that really impress me so much. it is not that common.. I mean, to just have the discovery to have that career it is amazing to me, because it is not given that you know what you want to do in life. You could have finished highschool, but have no idea what to do. Even university graduates sometimes can't find a decent job, or any job related to their degree.
As a mother,I’m so disgusted I feel sick that these children were treated this way.
I would grab my kids & run,I couldn’t stand by & see it-but would rather cut my throat than be a part of that 😢😢😢
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This episode broke my ❤ 😢
This is an amazing and important interview. Thank you to this vulnerable woman for sharing this. She is so well spoken and I wish her nothing but happiness going forward.
Hey Andrew ! Now adays there is a name for cases of trauma removal , and it is called memory reconsolidation . Ideal Parent Figure Protocol , rewind technique and flash / four points technique , when all associated can heal each trauma response . The most difficult part is to identify the reason of why each problem developed ( physical responses and so on ) , ´´ our problems are a solution to allegedly bigger problems ´´ , and we have to mismatch each trauma response , one by one . This is how I am removing each trauma response of my cPTSD . Reading therapist Allun Parry´s book ´How To Remove Trauma Response ´´ and Harvard psychologist professor Daniel P. Brown´s ´´ Attachment Disturbances in Adults ´´ will really help you in the trauma topic .
having to sit on your child's unfairness and justifyible "R A G E"
After expressing only submission and fake happiness is torture. Boxing to angry music helped me a lot to burn out the layers of unfairness abuse and repressed rage 🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊
Yes you should write the book , something like " How (NEVER) To Train Up a Child . Dignity vs fracture & harm"
Great interview! I think what concerned people *can* do is watch interviews like this one, with every survivor who speaks out. To comment about this terrible philosophy on other stories on the net. Share the travesty whenever it is appropriate to do so. And of course for those in Andrews position, use their platform to amplify the messages escaping from cults everywhere👍👍🤷♀️🤷♀️
This gave me so much ptsd of my childhood. I moved away from my family because this is how I was raised. I started my
Own family and my family keeps trying to now lovingly persuade me to move near them. My sister raises her kids how my mom and dad did us and my mom has a very authoritarian role in how my sisters kids are raised. I feel like if I move back (as bad as I want community for my 2 kids), I’ll be duped into this cultish mindset again. This video and testimony is healing and is giving me the answers I needed to stand my ground and stay states away.
Also, my mom still brags at the dinner table about how she did the blanket training to us when we were little. She says it in a way to insinuate we should do that. I see them 2x a year max and can last only 4 days at MAX a visit before my body starts reacting in hives ect. Before leaving my family I was covered head to toe in hives. When I left, they went away immediately.
I’m late diagnosed autistic and have C-PTSD from constant/continued abuse and trauma. Was so “happy” or submissive that the cycle continues to this day as I am an Iraq War veteran. I “can’t” be autistic since I was “submitted” from a very young age
Listening to this - man! - I'm thankful for my parents.
Thank you for sharing ❤❤ I will keep you all in my prayers
Horrific. I'm shocked that this kind of thing can occur. So sorry you had to endure this type of childhood. You are very strong and brave. What a wonderful adult you have made yourself, with ZERO credit going to your parents.
I am so so so sorry that you had to go through that terrible experience, it is amazing that you have become such a wonderful person after all you suffered. If you have children of your own I am sure you would make an amazing parent, wish you the best
I can understand you Kendra, I go into a cold shiver when I see a hearth brush or a leather belt. That hearth brush was used on me to the point that I ended up with a huge bruise on my hip, it was not in any way fun to try to sit down and go to school the next day, that was the other part of the punishment. I didn't do anything wrong other than I just wanted to get out of there as a 13 year old and because the people who were to help me backed out, although I never told my parents that is what I was trying to achieve, they saw it as something completely different. Stay strong Kendra. I was never in a cult, but smiling was in a way being cheeky, so smiling wasn't something that was allowed, it was like we were to be miserable all the time. I managed to get out of that environment when I was just past 19, and that wasnt then end of it either. From that day forward I have had to continue with the abuse by people believing the lies they were told, and man does that hurt. I still wonder if I have autism but not being diagnosed its hard to say. But I came with a thought just today that when I was about 13 I had constant stomach pains, so much to say that I ended up in hospital and while there, I would get better, with no medical intervention. I wonder if today the same thing happens where I will have terrible pain and most of the time there isn't any diagnosis, but once I have talked about it I can come away without the pain so much. It is all about the environment we are in. School was hell too.
Yes! I think that is a fantastic idea to write that book with the alternative title that exposes the abuse.
"I used to wish that someone would kidnap me or take me away" So sad. Just heartbreaking..... When I was a kid I wished for a pony.
Omg! I thought, my parents were useless, but there are some really creepy monsters out there, who should be sterilized & kept away from children at all cost. Such 9a shame, that they are difficult to filter out, before being parents. Some of her experiences sound familiar to me, not quite as extreme, but still frightening enough for a shy child.
It actually goes to show how many evil people there are in this world. Nobody just decides overnight or after reading a book to do any of those things to there children they has that evil already in them.
I’m always so surprised by the young ones raised in Cult-type situations❤
Rather than being bitter,screwed-up adults who don’t manage…I find every single one here & the SPTV channels are all GOOD,DECENT…& incredibly level-headed individuals I have to admire & really LIKE as the people we see now.
Big ❤from Australia
Thanks for another great interview Andrew!
thank you! sorry just saw this!
Go to legal remedies. Get a group of ex-IDLP people and associated groups. Take out a civil case. Prepare a dossier. Inform the authorities. Picket their churches. Take the battle to them.
Thanks for your time
Thanks for bringing this to the public notice. Having happy children is the most important thing . Otherwise why have children.
Amazon note - buy the book, write the review, return the book within 30 days. Reason for return - product did not match description. Further details - the advice in this book is abuse, not useful advice on how to raise a mentally healthy child. They will take the book back, pay for shipping, and you will get a full refund. Just wait until 3-5 days after receipt to start return process
Kendra's story is absolutely astonishing! What an amazing lady...WOW!💕
I grew up near but not quite a member of the IBLP. I lost a childhood best friend to this group. Her family is absolutely wrecked and shattered by Gothard's teaching. Thankfully she's out now.
IBLP sounds like a horrible gut infection. Guess what? It is.
Train up a child …. Is part of a Bible verse. This is horrifying to hear of the warped minds involved in abusing children. There are proper Christian churches that believe in the verse, but do not beat their children or abuse them with the false evils of cults. I’m so sad to hear of her experiences. God bless you and heal your soul (mind, will and emotions).
You’re a strong and brave woman. I also was beat as a child and choose to raise my kids completely different. U can’t raise a healthy kid without love and guidance. Good job on you!
This is so sick , what a wonderful brave woman ❤
These parents must be narcissistic. My malignant narcissistic mother paddled my siblings like this. Awful!
I have CPTSD and autism as well. You're not alone. It's exhausting to not be able to be yourself.
I grew up in a tight knit religious community but with great parents.
Thankfully we were taken away from that and stayed with my lovely aunt who gave us tolerance and love and showed us life could be better, happier, and okay.
Child punishment like I've gone through I hope no one ever has to go through things that really hurt us as children.
I am not physically able to have kids, and I'm kind of glad. I would not want to have to figure out raising a child. My autism wouldn't like it either and I have ADHD too and cptsd too.
I am so upset this is still going on.
Thank you for sharing. Thank you for sharing her with us, andrew
I think Autism matches better with religious fundamentalism than it does with leftist atheism (Richard Dawkins style)
This sounds so horrible i feel so horrible for Kendra her siblings and anyone who has been through this just makes your heart hurt, all this torture and death all off the back of a book ..
Wtf. It's so messed up.