My Experience With ENFJs (As An INFP)

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  • Опубліковано 18 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 61

  • @shanerogers5054
    @shanerogers5054 7 місяців тому +8

    This puts my relationship with my ENFJ friend in perspective. Very interesting. I think ENFJ’s are drawn to the authenticity of INFP’s and INFP’s are drawn to the good natured intentions of ENFJ’s.

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  7 місяців тому +2

      Yeah I would agree with that! I'm never sure exactly what it is that ENFJs are drawn to, but it's that good-natured intentions and overall honesty that I find appealing in ENFJs, for sure.,

  • @emb8319
    @emb8319 Рік тому +40

    I've debated whether I should reveal my ENFJ story on here because it's pretty specific, but I'll do it anyway ... An ENFJ actually saved my life. He persuaded me to go to the hospital when I wasn't feeling well, he organized a car, drove me to the hospital, waited in the emergency room with me for hours. Turned out I had something life threatening and I probably would've been dead a few hours later. The truth is that none of my other friends would've done the same for me. Okay, I didn't tell any of my other friends I wasn't feeling well because I didn't want to be a burden, but still ... So, am I still in touch with that ENFJ? No, because I screwed up our friendship pretty badly, and I'm trying very hard to deny that I miss him and our deep and often wacky conversations a lot. Instead I spend my time with friends who are all sensors and thinkers, toning down my crazy imagination and always feeling very inauthentic around them. So, no happy ending for this INFP and the one ENFJ she ever met.

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +12

      Oh god. Thanks for sharing this story. That says a lot about how the nature of ENFJs can be so important for INFPs. And having that drive to do the right thing and take that sort of action in a situation like that, this is where they really thrive. I hope some sort of contact happens with them some day. In my experience ENFJs have never properly closed the door on me even when I thought they had, although I guess it all depends...

    • @emb8319
      @emb8319 Рік тому +3

      @Pray ForMe That sounds like something I would do. And have done. Once. Or maybe twice 😉. But lately I've been trying to tell people what bothers me before it comes to this, even though it's not easy for me because conflict stresses me out.

    • @Clueless2019
      @Clueless2019 Рік тому +2

      True ENFJ here...Yes, we are GENUINELY ALTRUISTIC...And our reward is seeing others HAPPY or as in your case the PERSONAL SATISFACTION of having done what is right, which we see as our DUTY and RESPONSIBILITY. Thank you for sharing your story, and I am so-o-o sorry you screwed up the friendship. You may still stand a chance, for we are highly EMPATHETIC, FORGIVING, and LOYAL to the extreme. A characteristic of us ENFJs that is very often misunderstood. I mean people think that we are STUPID and WEAK when in fact we are exhausting our emotional resources, giving others the benefit of the doubt, because we STRONGLY BELIEVE people, all people, have the capacity to change. And when others prove us wrong time and again, we DO let go but without any regrets.

    • @joanaborrellsanchez9225
      @joanaborrellsanchez9225 11 місяців тому

      Heartbreaking...😢

    • @joanaborrellsanchez9225
      @joanaborrellsanchez9225 11 місяців тому +1

      I think you can be friends again. ENFJs are forgiving. And specifically you're talking in your text about a loyal one. I also screwed up a relationship with an ENFJ and now we're friends again 😊

  • @MasterConduitCourses
    @MasterConduitCourses Рік тому +8

    My man is an Enfj and it’s the most satisfying, loving, passionate relationship I have ever had. He not only sees me but he admires & encourages the traits that others didn’t understand.

  • @Sareybeary
    @Sareybeary Рік тому +11

    I love how your just talking about your own experiences in a calm and goofy manner. My teen is INFP, and you are both similar. They are also doing film school and intend to go to Japan.
    Also, as an INFJ, I find ENFJ's to be overbearing. Like, they need to chiil tf out.
    Anyway, I'm subscribing, thanks for being you :)

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +2

      What a nice comment, thank you for subbing. It's funny, the INFP and Japan connection - I swear that I always find drifting INFPs when I'm over there. Or drifting INTPs. I've definitely experienced INFJs wishing that ENFJs chill out 😅 My sister is an ENFJ and nearly all her friends are INFJs - INFJs who confide in me their exhaustion...

    • @irenegronegger8972
      @irenegronegger8972 Рік тому +1

      Thank you for your impression ("overbearing"). Maybe the average ENFJ is also too much for me somehow. What means "they need to chiil tf out"?

  • @user-vw6xp5nl6t
    @user-vw6xp5nl6t Рік тому +12

    You’re a great storyteller, Pete. Thanks for adding a bit of salt to my day.

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +1

      Thank you :) Everyone needs a bit of salt in their day.

    • @irenegronegger8972
      @irenegronegger8972 Рік тому

      True. And he brings British English back to me. I watch so much stuff from US that I sometimes have difficulties to understand British English. But not here.

  • @radishraven9
    @radishraven9 Рік тому +8

    Lol your stories get crazier by the day, im loving it haha 😂 i usually have pretty superficial relationships with ENFJs, but they do seem to want to protect me and put me under their wing for like no reason 😂 they do however seem to see people as kind of tools they can use which is creepy, but also makes me feel valued, like the naive little infp i am yikes 😅

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +3

      Yep! I've found this is an unhealthy ENFJ trait, using people as tools, but I think the majority don't do it. Just a bad minority making other ENFJs look bad 😅 And it's funny because other ENFJs will sniff out those ENFJs and try to warn and protect me. Ha I definitely don't see you as naive 😅 but I know for myself that if they do show that they value me I do end up doing a lot of errands for them, ugh.

  • @internetintrovert
    @internetintrovert Рік тому +15

    From your stories, it seems like the INFP-ENFJ attraction (platonic or otherwise) has some merit to it. The story of you as a "love robot" could be a great short film btw! I loved it 😂 My experiences with ENFJs are super limited because I have been a bit too asocial in the last few years but I look forward to trips to nudist lakes in Berlin when I meet more of them 😆

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +3

      Yep there’s definitely merit to the attraction I think! Ha yes that love robot student film definitely turned out way better than i thought…it all happened about 13 years ago, who knows what she went on to film afterward!
      I think ENFJs often showed up in my life when I was at my most a-social, come to think of it…they’re usually able to sniff INFPs out!

    • @sophiebrandauer3947
      @sophiebrandauer3947 Рік тому

      Why do you think you will find Enfjs at nudist lakes in Berlin?

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +2

      @@sophiebrandauer3947 just based on the one time I had an experience with an ENFJ in Berlin 😅

    • @irenegronegger8972
      @irenegronegger8972 Рік тому +2

      Thank you for mentioning the nudists.
      Seriously ... it brings me to the idea that a former friend could also be ENFJ. He spent the half summer at gay beach near his city, he looked great and used much Fe and charm to get what he wanted. He opened up to me with many problems he had (the clichee INFP and ENFJ dynamic is vice versa), for me it was okay. But when we went on a small trip together, he was stressed out by tiny things and behaved insensitive and hurtful. And not only once.
      He was a very popular AirBnB host and did much for his guests (I read the praise), treated them like friends, but when someone gets closer to him it seems to get complicated.
      Until today I assumed he was ESFP because he seemed to live in the moment (the J was only visible in his perfect household). And wondered about the charm.

  • @scourneene
    @scourneene Рік тому +8

    Ah wow what a story. Ya I can relate and I think its interesting how you mentioned to be cautious. The ENFJ I'm married too is very excitable. Lots of big ideas, which means I need to set lots of boundaries to make time to think things over or I ended up exhausted. On the positive she is up for ideas that excite us both. Her ability to be very organized is something I really benefit from as I can be a creative messy sort. The "P" and the "J' aspects can clash I find. She would like to see more of the making of all these plans of course. I am more spontaneous or going with the flow. In reality it may be hell for both of us to be with another "J" or "P" I feel.

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +3

      That’s so interesting to hear about your marriage to an ENFJ! Lots of big ideas, that’s how I see ENFJ haha. Actually I have an ENFJ twin sister so I suppose a lot of my life has been spent in this dynamic. But it does seem to work well as a team….

    • @scourneene
      @scourneene Рік тому +1

      @@vondelpete oh wow a twin who is an ENFJ...that's remarkable! Interesting how certain dynamics align in life. Ya I suppose it's a good team thing but like I mentioned in the original comment I posted, I feel like I need to slow things down and set lots of boundaries but over all ya I agree.

  • @shoomin1
    @shoomin1 Рік тому +7

    Thanks for keep making these experience videos! :)
    In short, your numerous encounters with ENFJs as a traveler and an actor have entertained me a lot, especially these romantic moments when their Se kind of awkwardly collides with our "civilized?" Si 😅😂 I have a hard time determining their type as I can't really focus on their unfamiliar Ni and Se when Fe stands mainly out, and I hope to meet them with some certainty in my first typing. Overall I'd probably appreciate their warmth and similar abstract ideas the most. Even if their social initiative is likely too much compared to the INTP-INFJ "golden pair" for me.

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +3

      Thanks for the encouragement, I love telling my old weird stories 😂 ha ‘civilised Si’ is a great way to put it! I know the occasional ENFJs who are much less…uncivilised I guess. And yes I agree, I’ve got INTP friends with INFJ partners and it seems to work very very well. I guess same as how I get in ridiculously well with INTJs but not quite as much with ENTJs…
      Thanks for the lovely comment as always! :)

    • @irenegronegger8972
      @irenegronegger8972 Рік тому +2

      True. Si makes us somehow private and modest.
      Maybe we should try ESFJ next, they have Fe first as ENFJ, and we have Si and Ne in common with them. And they are more numerous, so there is a larger variety to choose from. 😅
      The ENFJ that disappointed me last year (longer story ...) asked me for fucked up bars. Seriously? You could ask me for art exhibitions and nice parks.

  • @sophiebrandauer3947
    @sophiebrandauer3947 Рік тому +12

    I (Infp woman) am married to an Enfj (man). And he is just the sweetest soul on this earth. He actually is a pretty healthy Enfj I guess, absolutely non manipulative, not that extremely extroverted and likes his alone time. 2 months after I first met him when I was 20 years old I knew I would marry him someday. We are together for 10 years now. Married 4 years. It is not always easy, but I strongly believe he is the best match for me. Although it can be off putting for me when he is in a social situation where he is not comfortable, his Fe goes insecure and superficial and it's really awkward for me. But I learned that it is just his behavior when been insecure and I just have to ignore his superficial behavior since I know who he is and he can talk to me about his experience afterwards. It is sometimes annoying to deal with his insecurities, he is often feeling not worthy or when my mood is bad he just always feels what I am feeling and thinks it's something he had done. Well and my feelings are very strong even though I try to hide it, he will sense it and sometimes I wish for someone which is more stoic so that I just have to deal with my own emotions which is a lot already for one person 😂 it is also hard sometimes to just be plain and open with my feelings and thoughts because he takes so much personally and thinks he is not appreciated or not enough... I also learned to appreciate his J because it helps me to be more organized and disciplined. I learned to ask myself how would he do things and what details does he have in mind and then I just do what he would do. No relationship is perfect and we had hard times after the first very romantic and passionate period of the relationship stopped (which was a really long one) and had to learn how to deal witch each other and to appreciate each other's differences. But people til this day always compliment us on how beautiful our relationship is and how in love and cute we are still after 10 years. I still believe this is the best pairing. But both have to be somewhat mature and self reflective and willing to work on the relationship thae it will be a very beautiful bond

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +2

      This is a really nice story. I agree, the potential for an amazing relationship is there...there are all the ingredients. :)

    • @Clueless2019
      @Clueless2019 Рік тому +1

      Awww! So nice to read a positive experience of this pairing ENFJ + INFP. Thank you for sharing your beautiful, romantic and still realistic love story. I am separated from my beloved husband who most likely mistyped on our 3rd romantic date as INFJ when in fact, I believe that he is INFP. We separated after only 3 years of marriage. We had known each other for appx 2 years before we married. He is not very healthy, but I ADORE HIM! And I am grateful for the time we were together. May God continue to bless your marriage with peace, tranquility and much much much LOVE🙏🙏🙏

  • @joelklimkowski715
    @joelklimkowski715 10 місяців тому +1

    "I'm the crew"..🤣
    As a dude ENFJ, besides the rest of your story. That rang very true with me.
    I'm not sure if you actually met an ENFJ. They would never want to get you alone like that unless there was something more to it with actually making a movie.
    Other people would have been there.

  • @TheINFP_Diary
    @TheINFP_Diary Рік тому +2

    loved this video, can't wait to binge your channel! ~infp female

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому

      Thank you so much! Makes me want to keep making more ☺️

  • @RS-td5bv
    @RS-td5bv Рік тому +4

    Seems like you had a very salty experiences with ENFJs. 😆😆
    I think ENFJs are naturally supportive to others, though it is hard for me to accept their support for some reason😅, and I don't see it entirely genuine. 😬 And it is true, they are inspired by INFPs. Thank you for the video, and the stories, Peter! Always enjoyable.

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +1

      Very salty indeed 😐 Thank you! 🙂

  • @RetroXRicardo
    @RetroXRicardo Рік тому

    An interesting take on this ENFJ type from your perspective! Thanks for sharing. Randomly discovered your channel through the UA-cam algorithm! 🤟🤟🤟

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +1

      thank you and thank you algorithm :)

  • @H.Rose7
    @H.Rose7 Рік тому +1

    It's nice to tell stories from our experiences.. I think. I like to do that also. I have told many of my stories to my daughter mainly.There are lessons to be learned in them at least, and that becomes more clear to me as I tell it... I have had a lot of experiences also, as we all do... I think I am INFPish, but I don't know that I buy into the whole MBTI thing that much. There are some truths in it, but not ultimate truth which is what I value most (: I am always looking for something wholesome and beautiful though to focus on, and be distracted from all the tragedies of this present world.. Going on nature walks does the trick for me a bit. God always blesses me with some wonderful something to see or witness in these walks

  • @kestrel09
    @kestrel09 6 місяців тому

    I really enjoyed those short stories.

  • @edwright4892
    @edwright4892 Рік тому +4

    Totally agree being "seen" by ENFJs is heart-warming! 😊 Do you know Meghan Levota? Her love letter to INFPs is pretty wonderful when (not if!) you're feeling particularly INFP! ua-cam.com/video/1tfNJcbs1Hg/v-deo.html

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +1

      Oh I remember her! I haven’t watched this video in years and it was so nice to watch this again, it definitely does make me feel warm.

  • @drownspringrw3387
    @drownspringrw3387 Рік тому +1

    so funny to hear those stories.. not only enfjs' story and a male INFP view on things

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому

      Thank you, I'm glad you you enjoyed!

  • @lastgunman5270
    @lastgunman5270 Рік тому +1

    could it be that INFP woman and ENFJ man is a better match than INFP man and ENFJ woman? what do you think?

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +2

      I've never actually seen an INFP woman and an ENFJ man even though it's probably quite common. For some reason I feel it would be a better match but why, I cannot say...

    • @shanerogers5054
      @shanerogers5054 7 місяців тому +1

      My brother (INFP) has been dating his girlfriend (ENFJ) for a few years now. From an outside perspective it seems like she appreciates that he encourages her dreams and he appreciates that he validates his emotions.

  • @Clueless2019
    @Clueless2019 Рік тому +4

    Sorry I did not finish watching your video...TRUE ENFJ here. Sorry to disappoint you but the girl you are refering to is NOT a true ENFJ!!! When in love, a true ENFJ does NOT acts like her personality. We act shy and reserved. We are not the pursuers; we are pursued. In fact, as OPEN as we may appear to be, we are actually quite PRIVATE when it comes to our personal affairs, especially when it comes to romance. I find that these days there are a lot of FAKE ENFJs. We are actually only 2% of the world population. She fooled you. She is most definitely NOT a true ENFJ!!!

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +2

      I do know what you mean from ENFJs I have known - that shy and reserved side and mainly being very private. But I think even this girl I talk about was quite shy and didn't really pursue me in any normal way...although I don't really know her type. Thanks for the comment!

  • @rimasoosamir8167
    @rimasoosamir8167 Рік тому +2

    Link the 'film' 😂

  • @joanaborrellsanchez9225
    @joanaborrellsanchez9225 11 місяців тому +1

    ENFJ= 🎉😂❤💘✨😭😍💜🧚‍♀️

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  11 місяців тому

      There is a lot of truth in this! 🎉

  • @olderinfpinsights
    @olderinfpinsights Рік тому +1

    🙈🙉🙊😊

  • @rimasoosamir8167
    @rimasoosamir8167 Рік тому +2

    How old are you Peter?

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +3

      38 :) I was 26 when I was the love robot so quite a lot of time has passed haha. I don’t get in those situations anymore…

    • @calmingbabysleep1256
      @calmingbabysleep1256 6 місяців тому

      Wow. You look muuuch younger 😮

  • @TipTypeTube
    @TipTypeTube Рік тому

    Wow there is so much to learn. 😮 I wonder if any INFP finds themselves magnetic. Interesting. What is the most sexy thing for an INFP?! 🫠🤭💗

    • @vondelpete
      @vondelpete  Рік тому +1

      I don't think many INFPs would find themselves magnetic haha, but maybe some do. So many INFPs are different, I respond a lot to feeling types though... :)