Its underated how much effort you put into those videos. There is not a single word misplaced , everything is right to the point , while still being insightful. Good job mate
It's an intj thing 😅 (not to discredit the effort, but to praise the quality in the type) I know an intj who knows me so well, it's fascinating and frightening.
0:0 Introduction 0:11 1.) Leverage The Outsider's Perspective. 1:02 2.) Create Things. 2:35 3.) Don't Wait For The Perfect Moment. 3:17 4.) Follow Your Heart... Unless Your Heart Is Being An Idiot. 3:46 5.) Structure, Organise And Systematise Your Life. 4:40 6.) Uniqueness Makes You Stand Out, But Similarity Allows You To Connect. 5:35 7.) Values Without Compromise Are Meaningless. 6:47 8.) Avoid Perfectionism. 7:15 9.) Follow Your Aesthetic Inclinations. 7:52 10.) Don't Always Assume Intent. 8:25 11.) Sometimes The Best Way To Help Someone Is To Stop Helping Them. 8:44 12.) Embrace The Power Of The Present Moment.
You're amazing for writing this down. With the time stamps nonetheless! So thoughtful to help us with limited time or those of us who appreciate a refresher at the end. Thank you so much for sharing 🙌🤗
I would add rule 13 , be careful when you compromise logic for emotional stability. I often find myself being capable of shifting my thoughts about a problem to feel better with myself rather than taking it as it is. For example , you could find yourself in a dead end job that is comfortable to you , while understanding its a time sink and you should rather be working harder in something else to achieve more. Its easy for INFP to bend their perception of any situation. It can be very helpful when you sense that you are overreacting , or that you need a different approach towards something. But on the bad side , it can create a bullshit state where you make bad decisions for yourself because you're afraid of the emotional implementations. Its doesn't come from being humble or ignorant , its about feeling "being in zen with everything" , as if its okay to be in a swamp as long as you can justify it to yourself.
Sorry but our Fi tries to protect us !!..we are very logical ..I'm.very logical ..working hard means everything or nothing ..it depends of the nature of your work ..besides , INFP are not lazy and illogical ..they are authentic ..and this world is made of 💩..so our feelings are understandable .
i’m just now learning this. & i’m 42. i’m way too understanding, accepting, forgiving, etc. which leads me to be far too ADAPTABLE, as time goes on, to all the bad experiences this can lead to. i allowed others to disrespect me because i respected myself enough for the both of us, & so i could brush it off easier, & make excuses for them due to deep understanding of their childhood trauma/etc. & how it has negatively altered their way of thinking/behaving. i have never intentionally hurt someone. i would rather they hurt me, vs the other way around (although i’d really prefer mutual respect. but that has not been easy to find, for me). if someone deliberately hurts you, be aware that they are nearly guaranteed to hurt you over & over again, if you allow them the time/chance. as a child, we are always told to forgive others for their wrongs against you. for some reason, they do not tell you the limits you should take/boundaries you should make to prevent abuse of your kindness. not everything is forgivable. if someone accidentally hurts you, but then shows genuine concern, takes full accountability, sincerely apologizes, & makes a genuine effort for it to never happen again, forgive them. if someone intentionally hurts you, doesn’t seem to care how it affected you, refuses to take accountability, apologizes just to shut you up, & continues on without adjusting their behavior/repeats the same patterns, immediately cease further investment of your time/money/good will/etc. towards them. even if an occurrence seems minor/not that big of a deal at the time, their pattern of behavior will range in severity over time. the sooner you cut them off, the better. you don’t need to wait for them to give you a massive break up reason/cliché, before you leave (cheating, stealing, damaging property, physical abuse, etc). although they most likely will, if you hang around long enough.
I’ve always been rather lost in life. A square peg trying to fit in a round hole, so to speak. Ever since discovering that I am an INFP it really shed a light on my complex and often contradictory personality. I am highly self reflective and analytical but my issue is that no matter how much I reflect, it doesn’t change the fact that I have difficulty finding the motivation to act upon my reflections and create real change in my life. This ever growing sense of existential dread mixed with fits of undiagnosed depression and anxiety is an everyday battle. I feel like a walking contradiction in everything I do and at 23 years old I still have no true idea of what my future holds. The world feels like it’s crumbling around me and I’m just sitting in silence, watching it happen.
I am currently 34 years old and how I wish I could have something to say for you. Or I wish your post have something for me. Because truthfully, I also don't know until now. We're just here confirming and summarizing both our life experiences. but nevertheless, I'm glad to have found your comment and validate our experiences. I pray that we all here find what will make our life successful, as per our definition of it.💗
One of my personal 'rules' is to try and use bad moods to get stuff done because, if I’m not going to enjoy my day anyway, I might as well be productive and free up more time to enjoy on better days. Exactly the kind of time when it's worth letting Te override useless feelings. Feeding your mind with ideas, novelty, and general Ne stuff is also something I recommend doing when feeling stuck or uninspired. Getting stuck in Fi-Si mode for too long is not usually constructive. Sometimes you need some new ideas and perspectives to shake things up, create new inspirations, and open up new possibilities. Ne explorations can also really feed into the self-discovery and self-development process. I feel like the aesthetic element of the INFP life is too seldom touched upon - it’s something I think people associate too much with Se and SFPs in particular. And I don’t know if maybe it’s a less consistent trait for INFPs, but I know it’s a huge part of my life! I don’t think I'll ever personally lower my standards for my work or things I create, and I do think a lot of good can come out of that. For me, the way to make that sustainable is to have a quality-over-quantity approach. I reduce demands on myself not by sacrificing quality but by taking things slow and not demanding too much productivity of myself. There's also a difference between perfectionism driven by negative motivations like self-criticism or fear of inadequacy and perfectionism driven by the satisfaction of creating something good or bringing a vision to life. But overall, this was an exceptionally accurate video. Good job!
@@theresefournier3269 my middle name is Therese (idk how to use the accent marks-lol) I was named after my grandmother and that is the only other place I’ve heard that name used. Now that my grandmother is no longer around, I never get to hear Therese’s pronounced correctly 😔
@@feralflower9004 if you gently hold the letter a bit longer, it gives you other options. Try it. It might show you a whole bunch of stuff. That is what makes children so smart with these things. They try everything. 💐❤️😘
I can tell you are an INFP for the accuracy with which you speak. You have clearly carved out your thoughts and feelings on this and that feels so very familiar. Instantly recognizable! Have you really mastered Te'ing when having a bad day? That is so Fi logical it is fabulous, but, how? How on earth do you motivated yourself in the now for all reward in the future? I need my Fi to get momentum. And how do you manage to keep things slow? I always have one hundred thibgs to do, and Ne isn't helping matters
Exceptional people skills was the only thing I couldn’t relate to as an INFP. I’ve been held back my whole life by crippling social anxiety and no one to share the intense and dark emotions I have from my childhood with..i love people and love trying to understand them but I can’t seem to connect well and make lasting relationships with them no matter how hard I try..INFP is a lonely type and these dispositions make me feel even more lonely among other INFPs
I can relate. Then when you do get close to someone, it's not knowing how much of the darkness to reveal and when. I want to be understood, but in explaining I worry it'll just push people away or make them want to run.
Reading comments, listening and trying to type out a comment. Starting the comment, then I delete it. Thinking way to far into the comment itself. Anyway, I'm very thankful for your videos, they teach me things and help me to understand myself. I am truly grateful.
As an older INFP I agree with your great rules for our type, it is very hard for us in this world, I don't know if I'd survived without the help of a therapist. Rule no 5 structure and organize your life is very crucial, it helped me to reach stability in my career, I still struggle to connect with people. Thank you for your great work!
Thank you, as an INFP with general anxiety and "perfectionism sickness " your video made great points that would help me. I felt truly understood, which is something I rarely feel :(
I couldn’t help myself but stop and reply to your comment. INFPs are unique. My mom is one and I see so much kindness in her and genuine belief in humanity, yet also strength that resembles a superhero one. Please continue being yourself and know that there are people who do see the wonder in you and appreciate your approach to life. 😇🥰
@@solarisan_ thank u so much , it really gives me strength to continue when people like u recognize and try to understand me as I am. U are also a lovely person for this comment thank u ❤️
@@betulk.7073 Well, we are all human beings. I actually don't see why someone would use a typology classification to create a barrier between 'us' and 'them'. I am sure you have met people like that. It helps to understand that some find it as a comfort zone to build their ego. If anything, the cognitive functions should help us all to have deeper understanding of each other and learn to embrace differences by broadening our perspective. Just be yourself. Always. You are precious and appreciated as you are. But please remember to be kind to yourself and start by accepting yourself as you are and just go declare to the world your identity rather than wait for others to show external approval. I may not know you personally, but I do cheer for you 🙏🏻😊
Enfj here woah i never knew someone can actually be this smart like what the hell. I keep watching this guys videos and almost see all of them well the important ones
This is amazing advice that really plays to an INFP's strengths, while countering our weaknesses. Too often in the past I've found myself bogged down by small details (perfectionistic tendencies) or waiting too long to take action (also related to perfectionism). It's difficult finding that inertia when you never feel ready... but at some point, it's best to jump right in. "People are often malicious more out of ignorance than intentionality."
@@theresefournier3269not all evil but some. For example, serial killers do not murder out ignorance but out of pleasure by exercising ultimate power and control - taking another’s life.
This video hit a lot of pain points for me. In fact I did the stereotypical INFP thing and cried a bit. I will listen to this again a few times and try to face some of this stuff. Thanks.
1. Happy Birthday 🎉🎂🎈🎁🎊 (I hope I didn’t get the date wrong 🤷🏻♀️). You may, or may not celebrate it, but I still wanted to take a moment to appreciate a day that I am sure matters greatly to those around you if not to you personally. 2. Thank you for the video. My mom (who is an INFP) is going through a challenging time and I seek ways to help and support her. I will keep your suggestions in mind 🙏🏻😇🥰✨
Speaking of organizing things, I decided to reorganize my hobby storage closet last night at 1:00 in the morning. I’ve been stressed out lately and for some reason it made me feel better. (INFP)
I admire INFPs, you seem so aware and conscious of your energy, living by follow your energy, the flow. Sometimes, I don't know why I decided to clean the floor at 23:00, edit a video at 2 am We don't realised the things which impact us unconsciously, the little things which are not done, which stress us, that we don't want to do, and one day, we fed up, do them, and realize it was not a big deal or so hard, it's just we didn't feel the moment, the mood or the will, courage to do it. XD Introverts we feel alive, energized during the night, when all is quiet. INTJ
My reactions as an INFP: 1) Yes 2) Very Yes 3) Really good life advice 4) Why are you calling me out? 5) Yes, but also no lol. I have a bullet journal and to-do lists sort of work. I'm constantly trying organization systems and abandoning them because they feel like a prison. I literally felt less creative with time blocking, which was a big problem as a writer 6) YAAAAS. Hard learned lesson but so much yes. I remember how offended/hurt I was the first time someone called me "basic" for liking pumpkin spice, but it was silly. 7) No. I compromise too much trying to avoid conflict. This is really bad advice for an INFP. 8) yeah...yeah definitely. 9) Lmao I love this advice. 10) I don't think this is something I struggle with for now, but probably good advice. 11) yeaaaaah 12) Oof, yeah. I am so bad at this, but I'm working on it. A lot of these remind me of a younger me and how undeveloped I was in some areas. Very nice video
yeah i resonate with those too. honestly i needed that #7 advice too. compromising my values is frustrating and it's a shame it has to be done for them to make any impact
Agreed about time blocking - I don't like imposing too much structure on my creativity. I go with the flow of my feelings and inspirations, and that's what works best for me. However, I do find structure and systematization useful for some practical facets of life that I actually want to get over with efficiently and not have to think about too much. I think #7 depends on the INFP. Everyone needs to be able to compromise to some degree. Some INFPs do this well, maybe too well, but there are also more stubbornly and impractically idealistic ones... I also relate about a lot of these reminding me of a younger me! I tend to feel this way about a lot of INFP content. I think, necessarily, a lot of content about the MBTI types is more applicable to less developed versions of the types because the more developed you are, the more well-rounded you are and the less you're bound by the limitations or extremes associated with your type.
just number 2 alone, crating things, if that means a good meal or a short piece of a story(writing) or idk.. art, or something created in a video game gives me so much satisfaction. it doesn't have to be perfect right away but i can ponder and dream about making it perfect.
Amazing! I'm currently facing #7: values vs. compromise. I'm realizing that I can stay in my holding pattern forever and rot from the inside out for lack of progress in my life, or I can take an opportunity that requires me to put up with a certain amount of insensitivity and disorder. Those things for me require compromise, and I seriously considered choosing to fester over compromising. Ironically, interpreting a vivid dream about it is actually what brought me back to reality. It's our inner world that enables us to connect with the outside world even though it may seem like that's precisely how we disconnect. Go figure!
"they often have exceptional people skills" 💀💀💀 now that is a fantasy for me. Fe users, even ExTPs keep having to teach me how to talk to people without it being awkward
if you focus on authenticity and kindness, nothing about human interactions need to be “taught.” with those two things, it all happens naturally, in my experience.
I as an ENFP resonated with every beautiful point as you spoke in your amazing voice. So much so that I genuinely feel I'm an ENFP + INFP. I cried a bit while listening to the ENFP 12 rules for life video, for this I just closed my eyes and let it hit me in the most gentle way possible. I don't know what to say, how I miss doing the stuff you mentioned in the video.*I'm longing for my own self from a long time now* Anyways.... those battles are never ending.... Thanks a lot for taking the time to make this video & enrich people's lives. 🌸
I can't wait for the ESTJ one 😍 Also as a person with two close INFP friends, I can totally see this advice being helpful to them and them giving this advice
i’ve liked each and every comments here, especially the one thanking Nathan cos he’s doing an incredible job. but i also wanna thank all of you who left very thoughtful and helpful comments, yall are also incredibly smart. you’re doing an amazing job attracting like-minded people, Nate!
The way I GRINNED when I saw the upload. Ahh, was waiting for this one!! 🥺 and I love how you articulated everything. Definitely helpful!! Thank you, Nathan xx.
It's been a real hard few months, and I've finally caught enough momentum for some positive change in my life! This video has come out at a pivotal moment for me. You have my deepest gratitude; thank you. You concisely delivered everything you had to say. I was very pleased to find that I have already been, and working, on implementing quite a bit this already. Just a well, though, I have plenty other ways to more effectively meander through life!
I love how you can make the content engaging with only your voice. It's a perfect podcast. In my self development journey I came to realize some of those same lessons. ❤
this video is amazing. As an infp who's been struggling this has really opened my eyes and helped me understand myself better. I'm so grateful you've given me some light in the darkness I was in. I love your videos and its almost scary how much I resonated with what you were talking about in this video haha.
Every one of these rules is something I have learned, sometimes the hard way, as an INFP (not to say I'm good at all of them)! Golden advice for someone early in their journey of self discovery.
You know your channel is good when my ENTP ass uses it as a procrastination tool instead of studying for my graduation exam which is kinda the most important shit ever that I will be facing in like 5 days
00:00 Intro 00:10 01. Leverage The Outsider's Perspective. 01:02 02. Create Things. 02:35 03. Don't Wait For The Prefect Moment. 03:17 04. Follow Your Heart...Unless Your Heart Is Being An Idiot. 03:46 05. Structure, Organise And Systematise Your Life. 04:39 06. Uniqueness Makes You Stand Out, But Similarity Allows You To Connect. 05:34 07. Values Without Compromise Are Meaningless. 06:47 08. Avoid Perfectionism. 07:15 09. Follow Your Aesthetic Inclinations. 07:51 10. Don't Always Assume Intent. 08:25 11. Sometimes The Best Way To Help Someone Is To Stop Helping Them. 08:44 12. Embrace The Power Of The Present Moment. Cheers! ~An INFP :)
On 7) it's more rounded if it's "cooperation" not "compromise", because the first is searching for benefits for both sides and unite them. The later is the word we use when both sides get hurt by trying to cooperate.
Well said! I really like your comments on compromise. It seems to be a lost art these days and so needed. Given our ability to understand others and our empathy for them, we should be in a position to act as a go between seemingly uncompatible philosophies or positions. I've often felt as an outsider INFP that we had this ability to see both sides and then communicate that. I have worked in situations of personal and relationship counseling. Ifeel the ability to get one side to see the others and vice versa is a unique gift that we have if we will just use it. Great advice sir
I’ve been listening to this almost daily as it gives such good advice. I’ve consistently tested as an INFP although I’m a boarder-line Perceiving on the Perceiving-Judging spectrum.
I realise that some of this tips that casually did naturally had helped me in many ways such as organising things or valoring the present Really good video, most things you said were facts
I enjoyed this very much. I even went back a few times because I started pondering and zoned out through the next point. You’re great at articulating Nathan 🥺
Great video thanks! 🙂 Recently I've been working on letting go of my perfectionism and adding structure and organisation to my life, and it has really helped me to have more more of the freedom that I crave! Thanks for bringing numbers 6 and 11 to my awareness as these are definitely something I could do with working on...in an imperfect way 😉
I think if u go deep enough ull find ur type , i had a hard time with infp and isfp , and finally figured im an infp , try looking into their shadow functions and their last function , tht would help
I was waiting for the INFP 12 rules for life for a while so it was a pleasant surprise to see it in my notifications, and at precisely the exact moment i needed it ^_^ Thank you for these insights and advice for INFPs. That quote from Abraham really stood out though and the point on inertia oh goodness... I was struggling with that up to this morning but this gave me a little push to take that leap of faith and do what I have to do. Thanks again Nathan :D
Thanks. I really needed this advice. At the gym I do feel like an observer. I notice so much: the people, their darting eyes, etc. I’ve often thought about writing all this down.
I disagree with the compromise thing. Compromise is taking a step back. Maneuvering around is just the correct use of Te informed by Fi and vice versa.
I totally agree especially in the number 11, my classmates always rely on me or other people sometimes and sometimes i just gave them some clue so at least they use their brain
When thinking of going to school, the anxiety strikes but when I'm in school, i'm like "not bad". Being in a crowd also helps me to stop daydreaming and live in the moment so it's not bad to socialize once in a while. I'm an introvert but I also need time for socialization because just daydreaming craves me for human interaction. I don't know if it's just me or not, there are some memes of INFPs where I think is exaggerated coz I don't do those things although I always get INFP as a result. I have many contradictions in myself and towards the MBTI like petting a cat or a dog. I don't like petting a dog or a cat but don't dislike them either, more like i'm afraid of them specially dogs. when thinking also of INFP, most videos I see says that INFPs are kind so I ask myself, "so what am I?" I'm not the type of person who is kind and gentle except back then so I usually ask and doibt myself about my type. People around me are also saying that i'm stingy and snub. So what am I? HAHAHAHA! By the way, I like it when your video has short introduction and straightforward words. Keep it up!
I am floored since I recently did the test again and it showed this type as a result vs INFJ which I've gotten several times in the past. I don't know what to believe!
Very good points to reflect on From 7th point on there's a lot of thigs I still need to work on, especially 11. I find myself in these kind of situations a lot lately, and it's really hard to let go and let people be in tough situations and figure it out on their own
It’s crazy how accurate these things are,sometimes my wife being a infj wants to know why I choose certain decisions ,and I most often don’t have words ,just knowing they’re right. But I feel it 125:
OK thank you very much for all of this. These are things I already noticed (and saw results of when I actually happened to do it). And, yeah, 3) made me yell at my UA-cam-reading device something equivalent to "come on, stop knowing how I work for a moment". I'm gonna print the full list and text of this video to have it under my eyes so I can't act as if I didn't know. ESPECIALLY 5) and 3) and 2) but I already do 2) and 9). Thanks again.
these are great points...im working on structuring and organizing..my new job is forcing me into a routine which i am struggling to embrace...but in the end a little structure is a good thing
Dude.... First and most importantly, you make excellent, thoughtful videos. Second... A lot of these sound like an INTP who has spent too much time being frustrated by INFPs. You're like, "If we're going to get to X, clearly we should follow road Y by means of transport Z," and the INFP is all "Yeeeaaahhh, but really it's all about the journey." And the smoke slowly rises from your ears, because the fuckers are often right even when they're so clearly wrong.
[INFP] Point #2) creating art is my primary tool for processing emotions that I need to ruminate over and express in a healthy way. Point #5) I'm a programmer and I write software to do the organizing for me >_< haha
As an ESTP with an INFP dad I’ll be honest I suffered from having a role model who was a bit of an outsider, though successful. I wasn’t able to develop proper social skills with my inferior Fe because Fi was always prioritized .What the video says in no. 1 point is spot on. Good with people but an outsider sort of thing.
Funnily enough, as an INFP who grew up surrounded by ES types, I also feel like my social skills development suffered because I rarely had people around that I connected with, so I mostly just kept to myself. Also didn't help that they often made me feel like there was something wrong with me, which instilled a lot of social insecurity. But I'm sure in some ways, our environments also made us develop some of our natural weaknesses and made us more well-rounded.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 In some way maybe (the last point) For me it was more learning how to fake stuff lol but I see your point. I had the same insecurity you speak of, because my positive or stronger traits were not encouraged, so I didn’t develop them in a responsible way until much later.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 Not being encouraged by society or family I believe leads to immaturity, the kind of attitude of “why can’t people be more like me” or misapprehension of other peoples motives or victimhood.
I don't want to always keep in control my son. If he is just good it is enough for me and he can choose his freedom to act. Requesting him to be good is also an expectation but I think it adds value.
REQUEST- Hi I’m a INFP 5 enneagram It’s really difficult to find anything comprehensive on this combination, because it’s a personality of seeming contradictions so I think theorist avoid it (not mention it’s quite rare). I would value a video on this personality if possible , thanks.
I wouldn't call it a contradiction. In fact, being an Enneatype 5 has its advantages, because your inclination is to question and double-check things that are fed to you by others, which protects you from falling for disinformation. Also, when you get a boost, you easily step into the direction of Enneatype 8 and so gain the capacity of challenging what you believe to be wrong, especially if you can back that up with knowledge.
This solidified me as an INTP, I think I keep second guessing all the tests I’ve taken because it really is more of a spectrum, and you can have a lower or higher percentage of each, so sth may overlap however, there are set thought processes that don’t, and those are the deciding factors.
Its underated how much effort you put into those videos. There is not a single word misplaced , everything is right to the point , while still being insightful. Good job mate
It's an intj thing 😅 (not to discredit the effort, but to praise the quality in the type)
I know an intj who knows me so well, it's fascinating and frightening.
He does have a intense laser like insight into the different types.
0:0 Introduction
0:11 1.) Leverage The Outsider's Perspective.
1:02 2.) Create Things.
2:35 3.) Don't Wait For The Perfect Moment.
3:17 4.) Follow Your Heart... Unless Your Heart Is Being An Idiot.
3:46 5.) Structure, Organise And Systematise Your Life.
4:40 6.) Uniqueness Makes You Stand Out, But Similarity Allows You To Connect.
5:35 7.) Values Without Compromise Are Meaningless.
6:47 8.) Avoid Perfectionism.
7:15 9.) Follow Your Aesthetic Inclinations.
7:52 10.) Don't Always Assume Intent.
8:25 11.) Sometimes The Best Way To Help Someone Is To Stop Helping Them.
8:44 12.) Embrace The Power Of The Present Moment.
Tysm 🙏🏾
You're amazing for writing this down. With the time stamps nonetheless! So thoughtful to help us with limited time or those of us who appreciate a refresher at the end. Thank you so much for sharing 🙌🤗
@@peaceporter9089 💐😘❤️🔥
Thx!
I would add rule 13 , be careful when you compromise logic for emotional stability.
I often find myself being capable of shifting my thoughts about a problem to feel better with myself rather than taking it as it is.
For example , you could find yourself in a dead end job that is comfortable to you , while understanding its a time sink and you should rather be working harder in something else to achieve more.
Its easy for INFP to bend their perception of any situation. It can be very helpful when you sense that you are overreacting , or that you need a different approach towards something. But on the bad side , it can create a bullshit state where you make bad decisions for yourself because you're afraid of the emotional implementations.
Its doesn't come from being humble or ignorant , its about feeling "being in zen with everything" , as if its okay to be in a swamp as long as you can justify it to yourself.
Great comment, especially rings true to me as enneagram 9w1.
Sorry but our Fi tries to protect us !!..we are very logical ..I'm.very logical ..working hard means everything or nothing ..it depends of the nature of your work ..besides , INFP are not lazy and illogical ..they are authentic ..and this world is made of 💩..so our feelings are understandable .
Ugh this is so true and I think one of the hardest things for infps to implement.
Yesssssss
i’m just now learning this. & i’m 42. i’m way too understanding, accepting, forgiving, etc. which leads me to be far too ADAPTABLE, as time goes on, to all the bad experiences this can lead to. i allowed others to disrespect me because i respected myself enough for the both of us, & so i could brush it off easier, & make excuses for them due to deep understanding of their childhood trauma/etc. & how it has negatively altered their way of thinking/behaving. i have never intentionally hurt someone. i would rather they hurt me, vs the other way around (although i’d really prefer mutual respect. but that has not been easy to find, for me). if someone deliberately hurts you, be aware that they are nearly guaranteed to hurt you over & over again, if you allow them the time/chance. as a child, we are always told to forgive others for their wrongs against you. for some reason, they do not tell you the limits you should take/boundaries you should make to prevent abuse of your kindness. not everything is forgivable. if someone accidentally hurts you, but then shows genuine concern, takes full accountability, sincerely apologizes, & makes a genuine effort for it to never happen again, forgive them. if someone intentionally hurts you, doesn’t seem to care how it affected you, refuses to take accountability, apologizes just to shut you up, & continues on without adjusting their behavior/repeats the same patterns, immediately cease further investment of your time/money/good will/etc. towards them. even if an occurrence seems minor/not that big of a deal at the time, their pattern of behavior will range in severity over time. the sooner you cut them off, the better. you don’t need to wait for them to give you a massive break up reason/cliché, before you leave (cheating, stealing, damaging property, physical abuse, etc). although they most likely will, if you hang around long enough.
I’ve always been rather lost in life. A square peg trying to fit in a round hole, so to speak. Ever since discovering that I am an INFP it really shed a light on my complex and often contradictory personality. I am highly self reflective and analytical but my issue is that no matter how much I reflect, it doesn’t change the fact that I have difficulty finding the motivation to act upon my reflections and create real change in my life. This ever growing sense of existential dread mixed with fits of undiagnosed depression and anxiety is an everyday battle. I feel like a walking contradiction in everything I do and at 23 years old I still have no true idea of what my future holds. The world feels like it’s crumbling around me and I’m just sitting in silence, watching it happen.
I'm almost 27, and I felt all of that.
I made a meme that says,” I’m just a pangolin in a world full of penguins.” And have pictures of a sad pangolin and a group of penguins 😂😂😂
This is a beautiful paragraph perfectly describing how a lot of us INFPs feel. The metaphors were also perfect 👌.
31 and feel this way in many areas, luckily I've found my passion which is motivating.
I am currently 34 years old and how I wish I could have something to say for you. Or I wish your post have something for me. Because truthfully, I also don't know until now. We're just here confirming and summarizing both our life experiences. but nevertheless, I'm glad to have found your comment and validate our experiences. I pray that we all here find what will make our life successful, as per our definition of it.💗
One of my personal 'rules' is to try and use bad moods to get stuff done because, if I’m not going to enjoy my day anyway, I might as well be productive and free up more time to enjoy on better days. Exactly the kind of time when it's worth letting Te override useless feelings.
Feeding your mind with ideas, novelty, and general Ne stuff is also something I recommend doing when feeling stuck or uninspired. Getting stuck in Fi-Si mode for too long is not usually constructive. Sometimes you need some new ideas and perspectives to shake things up, create new inspirations, and open up new possibilities. Ne explorations can also really feed into the self-discovery and self-development process.
I feel like the aesthetic element of the INFP life is too seldom touched upon - it’s something I think people associate too much with Se and SFPs in particular. And I don’t know if maybe it’s a less consistent trait for INFPs, but I know it’s a huge part of my life!
I don’t think I'll ever personally lower my standards for my work or things I create, and I do think a lot of good can come out of that. For me, the way to make that sustainable is to have a quality-over-quantity approach. I reduce demands on myself not by sacrificing quality but by taking things slow and not demanding too much productivity of myself. There's also a difference between perfectionism driven by negative motivations like self-criticism or fear of inadequacy and perfectionism driven by the satisfaction of creating something good or bringing a vision to life.
But overall, this was an exceptionally accurate video. Good job!
You comment was so thoughful!
YAHsome! ❤️🔥💯🤔
@@theresefournier3269 my middle name is Therese (idk how to use the accent marks-lol) I was named after my grandmother and that is the only other place I’ve heard that name used. Now that my grandmother is no longer around, I never get to hear Therese’s pronounced correctly 😔
@@feralflower9004 if you gently hold the letter a bit longer, it gives you other options. Try it. It might show you a whole bunch of stuff.
That is what makes children so smart with these things. They try everything. 💐❤️😘
I can tell you are an INFP for the accuracy with which you speak. You have clearly carved out your thoughts and feelings on this and that feels so very familiar. Instantly recognizable!
Have you really mastered Te'ing when having a bad day? That is so Fi logical it is fabulous, but, how? How on earth do you motivated yourself in the now for all reward in the future? I need my Fi to get momentum.
And how do you manage to keep things slow? I always have one hundred thibgs to do, and Ne isn't helping matters
Exceptional people skills was the only thing I couldn’t relate to as an INFP. I’ve been held back my whole life by crippling social anxiety and no one to share the intense and dark emotions I have from my childhood with..i love people and love trying to understand them but I can’t seem to connect well and make lasting relationships with them no matter how hard I try..INFP is a lonely type and these dispositions make me feel even more lonely among other INFPs
I can relate. Then when you do get close to someone, it's not knowing how much of the darkness to reveal and when. I want to be understood, but in explaining I worry it'll just push people away or make them want to run.
Reading comments, listening and trying to type out a comment. Starting the comment, then I delete it. Thinking way to far into the comment itself. Anyway, I'm very thankful for your videos, they teach me things and help me to understand myself. I am truly grateful.
As an older INFP I agree with your great rules for our type, it is very hard for us in this world, I don't know if I'd survived without the help of a therapist. Rule no 5 structure and organize your life is very crucial, it helped me to reach stability in my career, I still struggle to connect with people. Thank you for your great work!
I'm an ENFP but I totally agree and relate with these points especially the therapy one. It feels like we are an open wound honestly
Thank you, as an INFP with general anxiety and "perfectionism sickness " your video made great points that would help me. I felt truly understood, which is something I rarely feel :(
I couldn’t help myself but stop and reply to your comment. INFPs are unique. My mom is one and I see so much kindness in her and genuine belief in humanity, yet also strength that resembles a superhero one. Please continue being yourself and know that there are people who do see the wonder in you and appreciate your approach to life. 😇🥰
@@solarisan_ thank u so much , it really gives me strength to continue when people like u recognize and try to understand me as I am. U are also a lovely person for this comment thank u ❤️
@@betulk.7073 Well, we are all human beings. I actually don't see why someone would use a typology classification to create a barrier between 'us' and 'them'. I am sure you have met people like that. It helps to understand that some find it as a comfort zone to build their ego. If anything, the cognitive functions should help us all to have deeper understanding of each other and learn to embrace differences by broadening our perspective. Just be yourself. Always. You are precious and appreciated as you are. But please remember to be kind to yourself and start by accepting yourself as you are and just go declare to the world your identity rather than wait for others to show external approval. I may not know you personally, but I do cheer for you 🙏🏻😊
yeah, us infps are rarely understood. i have yet to meet someone that understands us besides ourselves
Enfj here woah i never knew someone can actually be this smart like what the hell. I keep watching this guys videos and almost see all of them well the important ones
This is amazing advice that really plays to an INFP's strengths, while countering our weaknesses. Too often in the past I've found myself bogged down by small details (perfectionistic tendencies) or waiting too long to take action (also related to perfectionism). It's difficult finding that inertia when you never feel ready... but at some point, it's best to jump right in. "People are often malicious more out of ignorance than intentionality."
I've come to realize that ignorance was at the root of all darkness, evil, hate, etc.. 🤔
@@theresefournier3269not all evil but some. For example, serial killers do not murder out ignorance but out of pleasure by exercising ultimate power and control - taking another’s life.
@@lonefaolan6042 They are still acting out of ignorance, maybe the worst of all, of breaking even pure universal laws which no one gets away with.
This video hit a lot of pain points for me. In fact I did the stereotypical INFP thing and cried a bit. I will listen to this again a few times and try to face some of this stuff. Thanks.
Incredible mate. Saving me thousands in therapy~
YES! YAHsome! 💐
1. Happy Birthday 🎉🎂🎈🎁🎊 (I hope I didn’t get the date wrong 🤷🏻♀️). You may, or may not celebrate it, but I still wanted to take a moment to appreciate a day that I am sure matters greatly to those around you if not to you personally.
2. Thank you for the video. My mom (who is an INFP) is going through a challenging time and I seek ways to help and support her. I will keep your suggestions in mind 🙏🏻😇🥰✨
#9 is very interesting. I think I just recently started doing that and this video solidified this concept.
Speaking of organizing things, I decided to reorganize my hobby storage closet last night at 1:00 in the morning. I’ve been stressed out lately and for some reason it made me feel better. (INFP)
I admire INFPs, you seem so aware and conscious of your energy, living by follow your energy, the flow.
Sometimes, I don't know why I decided to clean the floor at 23:00, edit a video at 2 am
We don't realised the things which impact us unconsciously, the little things which are not done, which stress us, that we don't want to do, and one day, we fed up, do them, and realize it was not a big deal or so hard, it's just we didn't feel the moment, the mood or the will, courage to do it. XD
Introverts we feel alive, energized during the night, when all is quiet.
INTJ
Do u have OCD by chance?
My reactions as an INFP:
1) Yes
2) Very Yes
3) Really good life advice
4) Why are you calling me out?
5) Yes, but also no lol. I have a bullet journal and to-do lists sort of work. I'm constantly trying organization systems and abandoning them because they feel like a prison. I literally felt less creative with time blocking, which was a big problem as a writer
6) YAAAAS. Hard learned lesson but so much yes. I remember how offended/hurt I was the first time someone called me "basic" for liking pumpkin spice, but it was silly.
7) No. I compromise too much trying to avoid conflict. This is really bad advice for an INFP.
8) yeah...yeah definitely.
9) Lmao I love this advice.
10) I don't think this is something I struggle with for now, but probably good advice.
11) yeaaaaah
12) Oof, yeah. I am so bad at this, but I'm working on it.
A lot of these remind me of a younger me and how undeveloped I was in some areas. Very nice video
yeah i resonate with those too. honestly i needed that #7 advice too. compromising my values is frustrating and it's a shame it has to be done for them to make any impact
Agreed about time blocking - I don't like imposing too much structure on my creativity. I go with the flow of my feelings and inspirations, and that's what works best for me. However, I do find structure and systematization useful for some practical facets of life that I actually want to get over with efficiently and not have to think about too much.
I think #7 depends on the INFP. Everyone needs to be able to compromise to some degree. Some INFPs do this well, maybe too well, but there are also more stubbornly and impractically idealistic ones...
I also relate about a lot of these reminding me of a younger me! I tend to feel this way about a lot of INFP content. I think, necessarily, a lot of content about the MBTI types is more applicable to less developed versions of the types because the more developed you are, the more well-rounded you are and the less you're bound by the limitations or extremes associated with your type.
Oh yeah for sure. I have to agree with you on 7.
just number 2 alone, crating things, if that means a good meal or a short piece of a story(writing) or idk.. art, or something created in a video game gives me so much satisfaction. it doesn't have to be perfect right away but i can ponder and dream about making it perfect.
Amazing! I'm currently facing #7: values vs. compromise. I'm realizing that I can stay in my holding pattern forever and rot from the inside out for lack of progress in my life, or I can take an opportunity that requires me to put up with a certain amount of insensitivity and disorder. Those things for me require compromise, and I seriously considered choosing to fester over compromising. Ironically, interpreting a vivid dream about it is actually what brought me back to reality. It's our inner world that enables us to connect with the outside world even though it may seem like that's precisely how we disconnect. Go figure!
This one really made me stop and think! So true!
Deep...but this s sooo reletable..this s basically the kind of life for us
.
Great video! I resonated the most with "Don't wait for the perfect moment", "Stop being a perfectionist" and "Embrace the present moment".
"they often have exceptional people skills" 💀💀💀 now that is a fantasy for me. Fe users, even ExTPs keep having to teach me how to talk to people without it being awkward
I think the people skills for Fi are to do with mirroring and being non-judgemental.
if you focus on authenticity and kindness, nothing about human interactions need to be “taught.” with those two things, it all happens naturally, in my experience.
I as an ENFP resonated with every beautiful point as you spoke in your amazing voice. So much so that I genuinely feel I'm an ENFP + INFP. I cried a bit while listening to the ENFP 12 rules for life video, for this I just closed my eyes and let it hit me in the most gentle way possible. I don't know what to say, how I miss doing the stuff you mentioned in the video.*I'm longing for my own self from a long time now* Anyways.... those battles are never ending.... Thanks a lot for taking the time to make this video & enrich people's lives. 🌸
Exactly what I was thinking as a fellow ENFP
An heartiest thank from an INFP
Hope you enjoyed the video and thank you for this comment! ~ Nathan
I can't wait for the ESTJ one 😍
Also as a person with two close INFP friends, I can totally see this advice being helpful to them and them giving this advice
i’ve liked each and every comments here, especially the one thanking Nathan cos he’s doing an incredible job. but i also wanna thank all of you who left very thoughtful and helpful comments, yall are also incredibly smart. you’re doing an amazing job attracting like-minded people, Nate!
Great video. As an INFP, I totally agree and have already implemented these into my life before I even saw this video. You are spot on.
The way I GRINNED when I saw the upload. Ahh, was waiting for this one!! 🥺 and I love how you articulated everything. Definitely helpful!! Thank you, Nathan xx.
It's been a real hard few months, and I've finally caught enough momentum for some positive change in my life! This video has come out at a pivotal moment for me. You have my deepest gratitude; thank you.
You concisely delivered everything you had to say. I was very pleased to find that I have already been, and working, on implementing quite a bit this already. Just a well, though, I have plenty other ways to more effectively meander through life!
I love how you can make the content engaging with only your voice. It's a perfect podcast.
In my self development journey I came to realize some of those same lessons. ❤
this video is amazing. As an infp who's been struggling this has really opened my eyes and helped me understand myself better. I'm so grateful you've given me some light in the darkness I was in. I love your videos and its almost scary how much I resonated with what you were talking about in this video haha.
Every one of these rules is something I have learned, sometimes the hard way, as an INFP (not to say I'm good at all of them)! Golden advice for someone early in their journey of self discovery.
You know your channel is good when my ENTP ass uses it as a procrastination tool instead of studying for my graduation exam which is kinda the most important shit ever that I will be facing in like 5 days
I can't fault you. I do the same thing😂
00:00 Intro
00:10 01. Leverage The Outsider's Perspective.
01:02 02. Create Things.
02:35 03. Don't Wait For The Prefect Moment.
03:17 04. Follow Your Heart...Unless Your Heart Is Being An Idiot.
03:46 05. Structure, Organise And Systematise Your Life.
04:39 06. Uniqueness Makes You Stand Out, But Similarity Allows You To Connect.
05:34 07. Values Without Compromise Are Meaningless.
06:47 08. Avoid Perfectionism.
07:15 09. Follow Your Aesthetic Inclinations.
07:51 10. Don't Always Assume Intent.
08:25 11. Sometimes The Best Way To Help Someone Is To Stop Helping Them.
08:44 12. Embrace The Power Of The Present Moment.
Cheers!
~An INFP :)
On 7) it's more rounded if it's "cooperation" not "compromise", because the first is searching for benefits for both sides and unite them. The later is the word we use when both sides get hurt by trying to cooperate.
God...this is good... Thank you!
Glad you like it!
Well said! I really like your comments on compromise. It seems to be a lost art these days and so needed. Given our ability to understand others and our empathy for them, we should be in a position to act as a go between seemingly uncompatible philosophies or positions. I've often felt as an outsider INFP that we had this ability to see both sides and then communicate that. I have worked in situations of personal and relationship counseling. Ifeel the ability to get one side to see the others and vice versa is a unique gift that we have if we will just use it. Great advice sir
I’ve been listening to this almost daily as it gives such good advice. I’ve consistently tested as an INFP although I’m a boarder-line Perceiving on the Perceiving-Judging spectrum.
I realise that some of this tips that casually did naturally had helped me in many ways such as organising things or valoring the present
Really good video, most things you said were facts
I enjoyed this very much. I even went back a few times because I started pondering and zoned out through the next point. You’re great at articulating Nathan 🥺
This is a really, but really , good video, not just for INFPs but for people trying to understand them.
This is so insightful, compassionate and useful.
I am at a point in my life when I needed to hear these. Thank you. :')
Great video thanks! 🙂
Recently I've been working on letting go of my perfectionism and adding structure and organisation to my life, and it has really helped me to have more more of the freedom that I crave!
Thanks for bringing numbers 6 and 11 to my awareness as these are definitely something I could do with working on...in an imperfect way 😉
Thank you for such insightful rules/tips, I can see how many of us INFPs can benefit from this.
I find so much to relate to in both the INTP and INFP descriptions.
I think if u go deep enough ull find ur type , i had a hard time with infp and isfp , and finally figured im an infp , try looking into their shadow functions and their last function , tht would help
have u tried searching fi-si vs ti-si loop? also maybe inferior fe or te
Infp you are.
@@onionseggplant6595 Thanks! That clears it up. ;)
I was waiting for the INFP 12 rules for life for a while so it was a pleasant surprise to see it in my notifications, and at precisely the exact moment i needed it ^_^ Thank you for these insights and advice for INFPs. That quote from Abraham really stood out though and the point on inertia oh goodness... I was struggling with that up to this morning but this gave me a little push to take that leap of faith and do what I have to do. Thanks again Nathan :D
Your thumbnails are so beautiful, I love how they are so much different from the other mbti channel thumbnails.
Thanks. I really needed this advice. At the gym I do feel like an observer. I notice so much: the people, their darting eyes, etc. I’ve often thought about writing all this down.
I disagree with the compromise thing. Compromise is taking a step back. Maneuvering around is just the correct use of Te informed by Fi and vice versa.
I totally agree especially in the number 11, my classmates always rely on me or other people sometimes and sometimes i just gave them some clue so at least they use their brain
Much of this sounds like an Enneagram 4. Thank you.
very impressed by the quality of this speech! thanks!
When thinking of going to school, the anxiety strikes but when I'm in school, i'm like "not bad". Being in a crowd also helps me to stop daydreaming and live in the moment so it's not bad to socialize once in a while. I'm an introvert but I also need time for socialization because just daydreaming craves me for human interaction. I don't know if it's just me or not, there are some memes of INFPs where I think is exaggerated coz I don't do those things although I always get INFP as a result. I have many contradictions in myself and towards the MBTI like petting a cat or a dog. I don't like petting a dog or a cat but don't dislike them either, more like i'm afraid of them specially dogs. when thinking also of INFP, most videos I see says that INFPs are kind so I ask myself, "so what am I?" I'm not the type of person who is kind and gentle except back then so I usually ask and doibt myself about my type. People around me are also saying that i'm stingy and snub. So what am I? HAHAHAHA! By the way, I like it when your video has short introduction and straightforward words. Keep it up!
Never heard of inertia in this context, insightful.
I am floored since I recently did the test again and it showed this type as a result vs INFJ which I've gotten several times in the past. I don't know what to believe!
Thank you - this was absolutely superb advice and so helpful!
Such words of wisdom. Thank you.
This guy probably describes the INFP type better than any other personality blog I've encountered.
Using a tine blocking app helped me in my daily routine, because i can day dream an entire day away (fellow infp 🤚)
Those are some great bits of advice for an INFP. Will be really helpful at times
Brilliantly done. Yes.
This was so on point. Thank you for sharing your insights. Eye-opening at times!
This video single-handedly change my life in less than 10 min.
I will keep these points in mind.
I often regret am not be direct enough , cos I often feel tongue tied or brain freezes when I had to react to a question or a comment
4:00 In #5 and #6 I don't "slip into" ESTJ...I become ENFP...fully...but reach burnout eventually if forced to maintain that too long.
Thank you, it is so helpful as an INFP ! :)
The last three are by far the hardest for me.
Very sophisticated and empathetic. Thank you 🙏
Very good points to reflect on
From 7th point on there's a lot of thigs I still need to work on, especially 11. I find myself in these kind of situations a lot lately, and it's really hard to let go and let people be in tough situations and figure it out on their own
This is seriously on point.....so crazy, thanks a lot man
It’s crazy how accurate these things are,sometimes my wife being a infj wants to know why I choose certain decisions ,and I most often don’t have words ,just knowing they’re right. But I feel it 125:
“Your Te is there to serve your Fi, so use it.” Wow, what an insight! Thank you.
Number 2: Create things
*Starts to imagine what I can create and forgets I'm watching a video*
Ah shit. *rewinds*
OK thank you very much for all of this. These are things I already noticed (and saw results of when I actually happened to do it). And, yeah, 3) made me yell at my UA-cam-reading device something equivalent to "come on, stop knowing how I work for a moment".
I'm gonna print the full list and text of this video to have it under my eyes so I can't act as if I didn't know. ESPECIALLY 5) and 3) and 2) but I already do 2) and 9). Thanks again.
these are great points...im working on structuring and organizing..my new job is forcing me into a routine which i am struggling to embrace...but in the end a little structure is a good thing
Always been a people watcher, an observer from the outside, one of many but in the end always one ... that sounded more pessimistic then intended 😅
As an infp, i love these!
Well you will also need to love and value yourself
This has been strangely validating and motivating...
Or just talk to an isfp and gain exposure via traumatic experiences just fallowing them to the store, fun fact, i go everywhere except for the store.
lol my heart ♡ is often an idiot ha! avoid perfectionism? ha! you got jokes! thats funny.. yeah thats funny
Dude.... First and most importantly, you make excellent, thoughtful videos. Second... A lot of these sound like an INTP who has spent too much time being frustrated by INFPs. You're like, "If we're going to get to X, clearly we should follow road Y by means of transport Z," and the INFP is all "Yeeeaaahhh, but really it's all about the journey." And the smoke slowly rises from your ears, because the fuckers are often right even when they're so clearly wrong.
This was excited! Thank you ❤️
It video is going to be saved to my playlist. There's a lot to ponder in this list. It was very well thought out Nathan.... Thanks
Very wise advices! Thank you!
Thank you so much for this! New sub.
#5 as a single parent of 4…I have great systems but no one follows them because I can’t micromanage the chaos… it’s time to minimize😅
These are really good and applicable tips.
I love your videos, they are so thoughtful (INFP here)
Awesome content! Thank you!
[INFP] Point #2) creating art is my primary tool for processing emotions that I need to ruminate over and express in a healthy way.
Point #5) I'm a programmer and I write software to do the organizing for me >_< haha
As an ESTP with an INFP dad I’ll be honest I suffered from having a role model who was a bit of an outsider, though successful. I wasn’t able to develop proper social skills with my inferior Fe because Fi was always prioritized .What the video says in no. 1 point is spot on. Good with people but an outsider sort of thing.
Funnily enough, as an INFP who grew up surrounded by ES types, I also feel like my social skills development suffered because I rarely had people around that I connected with, so I mostly just kept to myself. Also didn't help that they often made me feel like there was something wrong with me, which instilled a lot of social insecurity.
But I'm sure in some ways, our environments also made us develop some of our natural weaknesses and made us more well-rounded.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 In some way maybe (the last point) For me it was more learning how to fake stuff lol but I see your point.
I had the same insecurity you speak of, because my positive or stronger traits were not encouraged, so I didn’t develop them in a responsible way until much later.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 Not being encouraged by society or family I believe leads to immaturity, the kind of attitude of “why can’t people be more like me” or misapprehension of other peoples motives or victimhood.
I don't want to always keep in control my son. If he is just good it is enough for me and he can choose his freedom to act. Requesting him to be good is also an expectation but I think it adds value.
Thank you!
#4 - My heart often acts like an idiot! 🤣🤣Love this list!
REQUEST- Hi I’m a INFP 5 enneagram It’s really difficult to find anything comprehensive on this combination, because it’s a personality of seeming contradictions so I think theorist avoid it (not mention it’s quite rare). I would value a video on this personality if possible , thanks.
I wouldn't call it a contradiction. In fact, being an Enneatype 5 has its advantages, because your inclination is to question and double-check things that are fed to you by others, which protects you from falling for disinformation.
Also, when you get a boost, you easily step into the direction of Enneatype 8 and so gain the capacity of challenging what you believe to be wrong, especially if you can back that up with knowledge.
Nice try but I don't follow rules 😎
OMG TYSM💖💖💖
This solidified me as an INTP, I think I keep second guessing all the tests I’ve taken because it really is more of a spectrum, and you can have a lower or higher percentage of each, so sth may overlap however, there are set thought processes that don’t, and those are the deciding factors.
Very helpful Nathan. Thank you.