The five core emotional needs of children
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- Опубліковано 1 сер 2024
- In this video I discuss the five core emotional needs of children and how understanding these needs can help prevent the development of future mental health problems.
Website: www.vitalmind.com.au
Facebook: vitalmindpsych
Please keep in mind the following when commenting:
I am unable to provide specific advice or a clinical opinion through the comments section. For this reason, please avoid giving specific details of your own personal history/struggles as I am unable to monitor how others respond to such comments. I am open to ideas and suggestions for future videos which may be relevant to a specific question you have in mind.
I think every parent should listen to this video before starting a family this is more important than financial stability
rajeshmnaa I agree it is.
Not needed by every parent. There are actually some highly functional families.
Agree 👍
Totally! I'll take it a step further; parenting skills ought to be mandatory in all public schools. Such classes would also allow young people to evaluate their current family situation - kids need all the help they can get.
As a father I am very interested in child psychology. I hope you will continue producing child focused videos. They are informative and helpful.
respect
Very fine job on defining the 5 core areas of healthy development. Wonderful overview of the 5 core emotional needs of Children:
1. The need to develop healthy attachment.
2. The need for spontaneous expression.
3. The need for spontaneous play.
4. The need for autonomy and independence.
5. The need for appropriate boundary and limit setting.
Dawson Needham thx for listing them
Dawson Needham in your comment
problem of this channel is this. you can explain these in 5 mins, however the guy in the video always repeat himself and it creates too long and unnecessary video content and distract viewers. keep it simple dude. pls
@@sitecocu you are right. But also be grateful for the information he chose to share.
@@sitecocu Dude, you need to know your audience. People are different. Some of us are thinking and reflecting on the content while listening. Repetition is also not the same thing as review.
All parents should be forced to watch this.
Stuart Jackaman you can force a horse to water..and like the narcissistic parent-you can’t make them do anything. :( Even if they say they understand or will do something-usually a lie...
Nothing works with force. We need to be an example of this video for the knowledge to be spread
Gold! This is vital information for new parents like myself. They don't teach this in school...but it should be mandatory curriculum! :/
I'm sure you and your spouse are going to wonderful parents to your infant, and he/she will grow up to be confident, secure, assured, assertive and have a healthy sense of self.
For what? Yall want teachers to be your parents. Illogical.
How to avoid repeating characteristics of your unavailable parents, with your children
You are such a neat person. Gentle manner and honest. I like how you expect emphaths to recognize their own responsibility for their situations.
As a young drug addictive single parent raising a child I can see every point made here and take full responsibility. My son has totally detached himself from me as an adult. As painful as it is, I have accepted it for what it is. May God forgive me for I knew not what I’ve done. I pray for him always for he is still my Son that I love dearly but it’s not healthy for either one of us.
There is so much that’s karmic and beyond just our intention no need for guilt and self blame 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Life's not easy. And you've had it rough. I'm sure he has an issue with his mother- we all did. But he can break through that and forgive. It's not over yet.
Vivian Paley wrote about how free play and story telling were critical to developing a child's brain. Her works fell out of favor as schools became more rote, less expressive and more dependent upon test scores. This vid should be shown to every expectant parent around the world. Excellent and succinct video! Thank you!
Thank you for this video! I was a preschool teacher for 5 years and now am a home visitor for Early Head Start, everything you lay out is gold!
I've got a two year old and I'm always worried that I'm missing the mark as far as helping his development into adulthood, and this video has helped to put my mind at ease. Thanks for all you do!
Listening to these five necessary teachings, I have not had any of them and I think that's why I am an emotional mess. I have a lot of anxiety and in the absence of this, I see why I have a hard time in relationships and attachment issues. Excellent information
I had the exact same thought. I missed all 5 of these elements and I too have had problems with personal relationships, self esteem and anxiety. However, I would like to think that through self achievement and self help these obstacles have been at least diminished.
Go to Jesus our healer..God is our Father in heaven and he can restore you, heal you and give you even a new heart and do all things new despite what you were brought up with..go to Him.
1. Secure attarchment
2. Express and parent mirrors what they said (attunement).
3. Play (unstructured)
4. Sense of independence
5. Boundaries
Thank you so much for putting all of your knowledge about human behavior and psychology into a plain, understandable, relatable, relevant form. Finding your work is helping me in so many ways as a human, a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter. Keep the videos coming!
Thank you for this; I recently came to the realization that I most definitely was emotional neglected as a child. Not looking to blame my parents; they were both good people. However, "it is what it is". This will help me with my self-reflection and healing.
Appreciate your information! I only wish that it had been available, first for my parents, and then for myself, as thru it I 'see' many areas that were lacking. Now, I am learning, in hopes to better understand myself, and my 'extended family' !
I love listening to your videos so precise and full if useful and practical advice.Thank you
Thank you.
Yes, informative on fundamentals for every parent. Save our children from this narcissistic generation.
I can't thank you enough for this video.
My mother spectacularly failed each and every one of these, always placed housework over the needs of her children, I recall being left alone for hours as a child while she scrubbed and cleaned every inch of the house. Once, when my baby daughter was little I went to pick her up because she was crying, and my mother chided me, saying :”You do that you’re just making a strap for your own back.” She also criticized me for being “too nice” to her. She also routinely interrupted me whenever I tried to do anything, either taking it over herself or just telling me to stop. She also loved to make remarks such as “You can’t do anything right”, and “I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”. I could never speak my own mind at all, only ever say what I knew she’d want to hear, and thus could never communicate my feelings at all. But of course I’d eventually say or do something she didn’t want to hear, and would rage uncontrollably at me, following that up with “the silent treatment”, which could go on for days. She also had no problem insulting and ridiculing me along with my equally narcissistic older sister. Once I was yelled at for ruining my parent’s retirement plans by being born.. So here I am at 66 still suffering an unconquerable sense of loneliness and isolation from my babyhood. Pretty much was “opposite Mom” with my own baby - and she does seem to be okay. Wish there was some way to retroactively fix really bad parenting, but I guess there is not. Mostly feel that my “parents” effectively ruined my life. Thanks for listening!
This video is pure gold for parents. Thank you.
I could listen to you all day long! Thank you for your brilliant commentary!
Great teacher
So pertinent and on point. Everyone should hear this.
A lot of us are waking up and find ourselves a few years along in our parenting journey realizing we have got it all wrong... how do you correct it? Is it possible to redeem yourself as a parent to a small child when you realize a little ways in that you are the problem and not the child? If a child has detached is that a point of no return or is there hope?
Yes, there's always hope. Love covers a multitude of sins, I loved my parents despite us all being victims of victims. Gordon Neufeld has youTube channel also, great info. God bless you and your family.
Dr S, another fine video neatly explaining those five golden nuggets of child development needs from parents. Wish this stuff could be taught in schools or to new parents. Well done for such a fantastic delivery- you have an ease with words and descriptions which appeal to all. Brilliant.
Brilliant. Thank you.
That was a wonderful video, anything you can do on child raising, working with troubled children removed from trauma or children with ASD will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Amazing wow, you are a great teacher thank you for all of your videos 🙏🏼
Thank you so much. Sharing this content and information is facilitating more necessary awareness, healing, introspection, and change than you might realize. I along with many -I'm sure- are grateful you continue make accessible, non biased information available to those in search of healing and understanding. Many thanks!
Great video. This nails it. Especially if parents only think about what feels right to them, and not what they feel they are 'supposed' to do. As a parent the only thing I personally would add is that we need to remember that it is not entirely up to us to notify our children in advance of all boundaries and limitations that they must live within (some yes). Provided that it does not pose any risk to their safety, I think that discovering those boundaries, and experiences the NATURAL consequences on their own serves them much more than any words and/or random consequences we offer...
No wonder my life has been the way it is. 0/5 needs were met. Thanks for your videos. They are very helpful.
I have been binge watching your channel and taking notes to talk to my own psychologist about thank you for making them.
Dr Abdul is great at explaining in terms that we can all understand… as of today I am subscribed…🧿
Truly appreciate all of your guidance and this priceless information you share to help us better our parenting and the future as the children are our future 🙏
Love and light 🤍
Always amazing constant! Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge
Thanks you are very insightful.
Just a word of caution to all who find great value in the words of this psychologist. This channel is very, very powerful. The insights learned are real - they have touched me deeply. Take your time with these videos, journal, pray. When you work personally with a psychologist you do not work at a rapid rate. Do not watch too many videos at once. I have learned greatly from this website. However it has brought much pain to the surface. Just go slowly. Perhaps, if I may suggest to the doctor, that he make a brief mentioning of this to his viewers at the outset of his videos.
I love your videos. Thank you for taking the time to make them
This guy is right
Thank you for sharing such valuable information.
Great concise information as always, bless you!
Could you please do a video on attachment disorders, specificallydisorganized attachment? I was recently diagnosed with disorganized attachment due to being raised by a narcissist.
risha a me too!
What is that?
Or whom's its[ symptoms.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
What a clear, precise, unbiased, educative and honest session. Bravo! More please:)
Since these are the core ones that are really valuable to know about. Thank you this explains a lot.
Thank you so much for your channel. I just found it and greatly appreciate the information. I'm hoping it helps me solve some of the challenges I've been experiencing in life. Bless you and have a wonderful day!
Very Helpful! On point! Thanks!
Thank you this is much needed im doing the best for my 2 youngest 4 year old twin's Very hard with the out bersts and coping mechanisms I have but im learning Thanks to UA-cam and people like you Very hard to get the help.
Thank you for all your videos Empaths need to be stronger with self knowledge
Sharing this with my daughter for her children and us
Glad to hear I am doing things alright.
Thank you so much....going through a courtcase with a narc father...I am happy to c that I have passed most requirements...I do modi-coddle...at the moment where abuse has been involved where my child is concerned...its difficult...your advice has been excellent...I have watched many of your videos...thanks for the magnesium video....u have given me a deep insight into my own personality as well as the narc....and my beautiful child...I thank you.xx
thank you for the information !
Excellent Videos!
Great and clear and given and shared thank you tbib!
Thank you very much.
Excellent summary.
This was so well done thank you.
what a lovely video
I've been watching and studying your videos for the past month now and it has been very educational and beneficial to many specific relationships and life situations.
Overall, I've become much more aware of myself and needs, and have been able to more consistently communicate to others and set proper boundaries -- the result of which has been quite varied in response from others, but a greater level of vitality and clarity has blossomed within myself.
Side note: reactions/responses from narcissistic personality types consistently revealed intense disapproval, or resentment and my responses have ranged from holding firm to my truth and the authenticity of my expressions, to slipping into taking such reactions personally, or, the worst has been to slip into self-doubt about the validity of expressions.
I am rather interested in following your recommendation to find a proper therapist and would also like to ask you if you could provide further resources on "mirroring", as you've discribed in this video.
Thank you, again, for your content and very sincere mood.
God bless 🙏
Thank you!
Non of the above...not possible with a single parent mother with Narcissism BPD and alcholism...thank you for your wisdom..I am healing from my parents disorders and griefing the loss of my other siblings who have their own disorders...much love xxx
I know not what my mother has but I'll tell you I got none of this as well. I did play BUT not WITH my mother. She shamed me for having emotions and my needs came second if at all... emotional needs... I was fed and clothed. Was not allowed to be autonomous. And there were zero boundaries in my life with my parents.
@@terryellis7692 reading this makes me sad. Therapy helps, but the struggle is life long. Never give up, live is worth living even in these challenging times. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing.
Peace to you angel and may your journey for enlightenment continue.
@@leeboriack8054 thank you so much.. and the very same wishes to you..blessings💜
Thank you so much sir! This has been really helpful!
Thank you Abdul! Another great video and I didn't expect anything less than that!
Happy Holidays!
Happy Holidays to you too, Spring. Thank you.
Very helpful! Thank you!
I'm so glad you indicated biological mother and father (3:49). There is a significant difference and impact on child development if the parents are are biological (vs. non-biological) that is too often dismissed and overlooked by adoption institutions/industry and social workers.
keep them coming!
Thank you, will try my best.
Great video and information. I have been watching your videos for a while and they are always educational and enjoyable. Thank you!
im grateful for you sir thank you for this amazing video it helped me a lot
i have been studying narcissism because i lived with 2 of them for 30 years. never again. your video is excellent. i pasted it on a well known narc survivor channel. i wish that anyone who has children would know these things. we could cut way back on disordered people. have a better world. i wish i had known this when my kids were little. my kids turned out okay though. this is so important. many blessings and peace to you, sir. i will be thinking on how to get this information out to the public. flyers, bill-boards, newspaper articles, door to door. gosh!
Great video, thanks a lot
Really interesting. I find you very easy to follow.
Very nice video. Thank you🙂
A video on how to handle the early teens would be amazing!
Wonderful
great content! thank you for this. It would be even more clear and easy to remember if you added all 5 needs in a written form as a title that appears on the screen as you talk (over the video), and maybe add a little list of 5 needs at the end of the video. Just a suggestions!
Thank you so much for sharing this vital information. I wish there was a class to teach this to all people who have or work with children... i know that's wishful thinking...
Very nice i missed first 2 in my childhood n i can tell how difficult it is now as an adult. However never reflected them in my kid.
THANK YOU 🙏🏽
Thank you Dr. Saad. You have healed 'inner children' by providing
Vital Information. for. Vital Minds.
Wouldn't this vid be THE BEST addition to PreNatal classes, PreMarital and Childbirth classes? Just getting this information into the mass general public, will assist in deliberate parental behaviors for a better society in the next generation.
I know this because it is the first time I have been made aware of healthy childhood requirements. . . . And I've raised a son with whom I could have done better than I did, if only, I had come into contact with this information early in his life.
What would it take to share this with everyone you know who has babies, are expecting, are getting married or just got married?
What? . . . . 3-4 screen presses? a push of a button?
Vital information for Vital Mind . . . . that's a good intro for you, a mantra easily remembered.
A gift. YOURS. 😇
Or maybe I've already heard you use it in your vids.
Thank you
Very good lecture and very important information! Greetings from Poland.
God is smiling on that shiny head. Thank you.
How do you advise to begin to address these five core emotional needs in adults whose needs were not met as children?
adarshkaur Samatha Vipassana, a.k.a. Mindfulness Meditation grows areas of the brain that would have been grown in a secure attachment, at any age.
Thank you so much! May you provide more parenting information? I am a daughter of narcissistic mother and single mother coparenting with a covert narcissist. I would so appreciate guidance to stop the abuse with me and prevent the legacy tomy daughter....
You are amazing and I'll continue to watch your videos. Its reassuring to know rhat I am not an ALIEN!!
My Son was 9 when his sexually covert father and I seperated in June 2015. (My call 💪)
He is now nearly 14. I encouraged his father to see him once we split but now I really wish I hadn't! It was only after we seperated after 22 years together, I realised what he was. Although I always thought he was an ODDBALL!!!!! He now see's his only Son twice a week if convenient for him!
Still to this day, I struggle to get My Son into bed at the time allocated and then up for school in the mornings. After asking for help (wrong move!) From his father... All he has done is blame me for this. My Son disrespects me 100% and uses my softness to his advantage. I try my very very hardest with him (I know I am a good capable Mum, I also have a 25 year old Son,.His father passed away with cancer, he was only 8 months. He's amazing.)
I've set boundries for my Son of which he disrespects and also if he isn't happy... phones his father (his father brought him the phone, I have no control) and says blaa blaa, you know what your Mother is like ,I've told you before!)
I really do feel that I am constantly fighting a loosing battle. I2m exhausted 😕.
My 14 year old has no self esteem, dOes not want to join in any clubs ect ... help!
So important to know. I've send it to my son and my family...... We need truth and info how to adress and b responsable 4 having children. That is love. And that is in the 1st place suppose 2 b why we as man and woman come together to "make love" to create a new being with love in this world to present a healthy and happy presence amongst unbalanced, unhappy sick people.....
Thank you. God bless
I love your videos! I am wondering if you could maybe add some examples of the optimal way of doing things to achieve the five core needs of children. And possibly some examples of what not to do. An example of how to set a boundary without shaming and what that dialogue would look like would be really helpful. Thanks so much!
Thank you. I’d be interested to hear more about the 5th point, the appropriate boundary and limit setting. When to set them, and how to know how much is appropriet? As well as about the consequences of the lack of it.
really good. glad i came across your channel
great vid, thanks
My oldest son was my only child for 7.5 years..I was his prime parent..his father was emotionally and physically absent.. I am the youngest in my family therefore never had experience with babies or children before having my own..I did the best I could with the knowledge I had. As a teen I babysat but only older children..I did what I felt was right with my son..I was there for him..loved him and taught right from wrong..his Dsd passed away 3 years ago..
he's now an adult and it seems all I attempted to teach didn't take..he's become his fathers personality...
a narrcistic bully who despises me and blocked me and refuses to explain what I supposedly did to offend him...I'm at a loss to understand why he's transfered his anger and resentment for his Dads indifference on to me...he knows I love him..he spent years attempting to win his Dads love and approval.
He had mine.
This is a powerful and succinct video for all parents to see! I am curious to see a video and hear your comments on how to support a child when you are co-parenting with a narcissist. I would assume you would just focus on these core needs when they are with you. How can a parent help support a child who then goes to a parent that doesn't support some of these key needs? Thank you! I love your work!
Wow. I wish my parents knew this. They have failed at each one of these categories.
I think we overplay the the structure part. And forget about unstructured play. Both are needed.
In regards to the importance of play and creativity in childhood development I’d love to know your view on current education system where my 5 years old boy in kindergarten is trying to learn ABC ..indoors ..and practicing lining up all day with very little free play. I don’t think that’s what they need at this age, they haven’t even developed physically yet, I think they should be out learning in nature and move as much as possible.. Thanks :)
In my opinion as a veteran once a civilian with mental hygiene issues, our system is set up for the "regurgitators n elite] im not saying this because i dont measure up or have failed in various ways, but i know my own levels of sickness and societies to the very core. Very few people are stable or joyful. If you have the will or ability i advise moving to a rural place or moving out of country. Knowlege is pushed n self preservation.
you can check out the book 'free to learn' on how children learn. Best of luck :)
Edit Csillag Can you send him to a Waldorf school?
Max Vinhausen he is 8 now and will go to Steiner soon 🙏🏼❤️ thanks
Thank u . Yahuah bless u
thank you