The Skyrim Speedrun to murder all the Jarls

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ •

  • @12packersfan
    @12packersfan 3 роки тому +16523

    Most assassination plots: *involve complex plans with dozens of factors*
    Doug: *just walks in and deep fries everyone*

    • @Brejdu
      @Brejdu 3 роки тому +207

      Guns blazin

    • @dalleme5656
      @dalleme5656 3 роки тому +716

      you'd be surprised how often an assassination plot is just "run in and shoot the guy"

    • @rage_2000
      @rage_2000 3 роки тому +196

      Dude, have you seen how he killed the emperor?

    • @gratefulgamer7907
      @gratefulgamer7907 3 роки тому +126

      He roasted them up real nice. Add a pinch of salt and pepper, maybe an extra small pinch of crushed up garlic then add some Swiss cheese then you got a nice grilled Jarl cheese steak.

    • @mettatonneo1147
      @mettatonneo1147 3 роки тому +23

      I don’t know why but I read that as “Mort assassination plots”

  • @thefatherfuego9149
    @thefatherfuego9149 3 роки тому +1242

    The npcs in this speed run probably heard the craziest news in their city. Crazed magic flame man quickly murdering jarls and then (for whatever reason) surrendering to go to jail to sleep

    • @seyedmohammadhoseinbathaei9040
      @seyedmohammadhoseinbathaei9040 3 роки тому +64

      Before the news could reach them, their jarl is already Dead

    • @Drewgun01
      @Drewgun01 2 роки тому +13

      @@seyedmohammadhoseinbathaei9040 true. In this era news wouldnt travel faster than 20 minutes of the jarls death.

  • @links-gut-versifftergrunme1809
    @links-gut-versifftergrunme1809 3 роки тому +6416

    Just imagine being in the throne room, some homless looking guy with no real aromour runs arround and mumbling epeatadly _"where is the Jarl? Where is the Jarl?_ just before the Jarl gets assasinated.

    • @morighani
      @morighani 2 роки тому +135

      this is cracking me up

    • @Tufhhuyy
      @Tufhhuyy Рік тому +175

      "aromour" -- maybe a defensive smell?

    • @browhatamicalled7990
      @browhatamicalled7990 Рік тому +19

      Other left?

    • @RedBloodAura
      @RedBloodAura Рік тому +38

      ​@@Tufhhuyy just smelling me is enough for me to be immortal

    • @claymenefee6999
      @claymenefee6999 Рік тому +12

      The image of this in my head is the best thing ive seen all day.

  • @Yusuf-br8vz
    @Yusuf-br8vz 2 роки тому +6573

    Imperials: *Accidentally arrests Dragonborn*
    Dragonborn: *Kills all the regional leaders in 20 minutes*

    • @sleepyciderr7987
      @sleepyciderr7987 2 роки тому +385

      This is why you don't forget the list!

    • @marcelo.pastorelli
      @marcelo.pastorelli 2 роки тому +66

      well, the country's leaders because there's far more leaders in Tamriel and Mundus

    • @lightlati7496
      @lightlati7496 2 роки тому +99

      "You have made a terrible mistake on this day"

    • @Yusuf-br8vz
      @Yusuf-br8vz 2 роки тому +12

      @@marcelo.pastorelli yeah, good point

    • @Squidiyyy
      @Squidiyyy 2 роки тому +40

      with nothing but rags and flame hands

  • @zeropolicy7456
    @zeropolicy7456 Рік тому +687

    One man achieved what the Thalmor and Empire couldn't with nothing but a physics-defying horse, a loincloth, and a dream. And he did it before lunch. Truly inspiring.

  • @tyhrikh
    @tyhrikh 3 роки тому +7155

    Gotta love Skyrim's justice system.
    Illegally crossing the border: Death.
    Murder one of the Jarls: A few days in jail.

    • @Copur_
      @Copur_ 2 роки тому +430

      40 gold*

    • @WreckinPoints11
      @WreckinPoints11 2 роки тому +516

      Murder the High Queen of Skyrim: 40 gold fine

    • @Apollo-th2xb
      @Apollo-th2xb 2 роки тому +239

      Sounds similar to the our real world justice system

    • @marxist-leninist-protagonist
      @marxist-leninist-protagonist 2 роки тому +25

      @@Apollo-th2xb oh if only killing the president were that easy

    • @marsyad6002
      @marsyad6002 2 роки тому +14

      @@marxist-leninist-protagonist is this a threat

  • @pearsetraynor9142
    @pearsetraynor9142 3 роки тому +4799

    This seems like a legit speedrun category if you could get enough people to commit to it. Throughout that whole process I was thinking of ways to cut down time (paying bounty instead of jail time to save on load screens, timing the Markarth kill so you don't have to wait 6 hours for them to turn up which costs 15-20 seconds).
    I'd 100% be down with this

    • @LegosR4Adlts
      @LegosR4Adlts 3 роки тому +185

      Thing is murder is 1000 gold. You wouldn't be able to. But based off the end, because the Jarl's aren't coded to die you don't the 1000 added to your bounty for their murder. At the same time though you usually aren't given the pay bounty option after murder in skyrim, it's usually jail or run away.

    • @potatomanagement_5770
      @potatomanagement_5770 3 роки тому +61

      The bounty would be 1000, which you may be able to get with the cheat chests, but in total it would be like 7000 which wouldn't be obtainable

    • @marlikbudvergard
      @marlikbudvergard 3 роки тому +12

      I mean, Jaiden managed to do it

    • @brodyrichter8113
      @brodyrichter8113 3 роки тому +15

      Iirc some categories allow load screen time to be taken off

    • @birb125
      @birb125 3 роки тому +34

      Regicide%

  • @jackalhead7433
    @jackalhead7433 2 роки тому +2466

    A stranger approaches the Jarl with flaming hands
    Irileth: Ok you can pass through

    • @CatchTheMarmosets
      @CatchTheMarmosets 2 роки тому +65

      Tbf that fire spell is probably weaker than an iron sword

    • @גוגויחזור
      @גוגויחזור Рік тому +16

      @@CatchTheMarmosets El fuego nunca es mas débil que el hierro 🗿

    • @Bumblebee-ox7qr
      @Bumblebee-ox7qr 8 місяців тому

      @@CatchTheMarmosets nah

    • @9895_
      @9895_ 7 місяців тому

      ​​@@Bumblebee-ox7qrdepends. Iron sword, even as the weakest sword type, is worth about 2-3 seconds of flame. Any sword can kill you faster than the flames spell, unless you dualcast it, the only reason swords don't always win is range. Same with bows, they do much more damage but require aim and arrows

    • @tinnitusintensifies
      @tinnitusintensifies 4 місяці тому

      @@9895_counterpoint. she could have never known which fire spell it was.

  • @taylorladouceur849
    @taylorladouceur849 2 роки тому +3741

    Doug: Kills the Jarl.
    Guards when they arrest him: "By order of the Jarl"

  • @SpaceMissile
    @SpaceMissile 3 роки тому +530

    just imagine how this would change the lore.
    "did you ever hear the tale of when ulfrich stormcloak shouted the king of skyrim to death and then dragons appeared and so did the dragonborn, who went from town to town burning all the jarls?"

  • @ghostguyhiisdumb5528
    @ghostguyhiisdumb5528 3 роки тому +7448

    “We robbed an old lady using tomatoes” is probably the best thing I’ve heard in a while.

    • @nattemann
      @nattemann 3 роки тому +42

      I see John Cleese wasn't that mad when he made a class for self defense against fruit.

    • @highdefinition450
      @highdefinition450 3 роки тому +15

      Sad

    • @nerdebrief149
      @nerdebrief149 3 роки тому +13

      It’s a good summation of this channel, honestly

    • @aritinaomi7487
      @aritinaomi7487 3 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/ATiYoo3WEjI/v-deo.html

    • @WaterMeLoan64
      @WaterMeLoan64 3 роки тому +4

      It’s honestly a hilarious statement.

  • @ValueNetwork
    @ValueNetwork 3 роки тому +1637

    It’s been years since the “Games with food” series was big on this channel, yet we’ve just now gotten the Carrots as the main antagonist to the peppers in the Lore

    • @boygenius538_8
      @boygenius538_8 3 роки тому +66

      I miss with food

    • @syazaplays3303
      @syazaplays3303 3 роки тому +13

      Inb4 it becomes an ARG

    • @frozenmana
      @frozenmana 3 роки тому +4

      @@syazaplays3303 who says it isn't?

    •  3 роки тому +1

      @@syazaplays3303 an arg?

    • @TayoEXE
      @TayoEXE 3 роки тому +2

      @@boygenius538_8 To be honest, I don't all that much. I know others do though.

  • @QuixoticCowboy
    @QuixoticCowboy 3 роки тому +7561

    so nice to see Doug discovering the joys of speed running. at first you have a strat and you try to improve and then with a random thing in the game you improve by over 10 min

    • @thenoseguy
      @thenoseguy 3 роки тому +31

      I've been wanting to get into speedrunning, but I don't know what game to start with. Any suggestions?

    • @euguinn9524
      @euguinn9524 3 роки тому +168

      @@thenoseguy I’d say just try and speedrun any game you’re really good at, or that you just like a ton. If the game itself is too long then just set a goal for yourself and do it as quick as you can. Starting with games you like is more fun than just playing what’s popular

    • @MansBestFriend_
      @MansBestFriend_ 3 роки тому +63

      @@thenoseguy either choose a game speedrunners play that you enjoy or just play anything you enjoy, what good is speedrunning a game if you don't enjoy it in the first place?

    • @illegalwaffel6435
      @illegalwaffel6435 3 роки тому +20

      thought he has been speedrunning things for years

    • @jiib7770
      @jiib7770 3 роки тому +30

      @@thenoseguy also if you speedrun a game you like and are already aquatinted with you’ll have an easier time as you won’t have to learn the controls on top of learning the speedrun it self

  • @danmachyl9613
    @danmachyl9613 Рік тому +795

    I rewatch these at least once a month and the "shhhh" part alway gets me

    •  Рік тому +1

      DYM 'always'?

    • @666GodofDark
      @666GodofDark Рік тому +53

      @ Shhhhh

    • @Borkomora
      @Borkomora Рік тому

      @ no shit genius

    • @hazeltree7738
      @hazeltree7738 11 місяців тому +1

      @ Do you mean "Do you mean"?

    •  11 місяців тому

      @@hazeltree7738 Not exactly. I meant ‘Did you mean (...)’.

  • @waldeinsamkeit3
    @waldeinsamkeit3 Рік тому +245

    I forgot that 'Jarl' meant what it does and assumed it was a race at first and thought this man was gonna speedrun a genocide in under 15 min

    • @fukkthisnewupdate8882
      @fukkthisnewupdate8882 Рік тому +22

      I just want you to know that this comment has been living in my head rent-free for months now

    • @tlou1_ellie
      @tlou1_ellie Рік тому +5

      basically b.c. times

  • @NathanButNett
    @NathanButNett 3 роки тому +1926

    “Welcome to Doug Doug where we solve common everyday problems”
    I sense…a disturbance.

    • @tyger5645
      @tyger5645 3 роки тому +96

      Everyone has problems with politicians

    • @crablord8499
      @crablord8499 3 роки тому +55

      I thought these were problems no one has... But my problem is THESE FREAKING BOTS IN THE REPLIES GO AWAY

    • @quartzossie
      @quartzossie 3 роки тому +6

      @@crablord8499 Steal some gold from some furries and burn them alive

    • @SciDarkReal
      @SciDarkReal 3 роки тому +13

      @@crablord8499 These bots are a problem _everyone has_

    • @aritinaomi7487
      @aritinaomi7487 3 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/ATiYoo3WEjI/v-deo.html

  • @vesterblue4227
    @vesterblue4227 3 роки тому +2785

    You lead a city of panicking citizens, news of a dragon attack in Helgen sending enough fear through the city that eventually the citizens would do the work of a dozen dragons. You yearn to leave your castle to calm your citizens, but a message from Whiterun has kept you careful. Apparently some prisoner from Helgen had some time ago slain the jarl. Two more messengers confirm that he slayed jarls from a few less populated cities. The door to the hall slammed open, as if hit by a battering ram. The whole court looked to see a man covered in water and snow, all excluding his hands at least. In his hands two dancing balls of fire sent gusts of steam around their radius.
    "Faster, gotta go faster."
    The man sprinted at an almost unrivaled pace towards you, two streams of flame already lancing through your armor and skin. All the while, the murderer spike to unknown figures. What demons drove him? What beasts of darkness could hope to contain him?
    When the man finished the deed, he sprinted from the chamber, never to be seen again.
    Your death and the deaths of all the Jarls left the world in turmoil, just in time for the arrival of Aldiun. In the end, Skyrim fell to madness and monsters, eldritch beings fighting dragons and vampires. Nothing remained in the end.
    All this for a speedrun. The world destroyed in half an hour.

  • @Ch1l1C0nCarnag3
    @Ch1l1C0nCarnag3 3 роки тому +818

    I love how the guards will just let a completely random nobody walk up to the most powerful people in Skyrim, either because they don't tell them their reason or say they've got some questions.
    Skyrim guards are about as effective as trying to play chess with checkers pieces.

    • @Whiterun-guard9
      @Whiterun-guard9 3 роки тому +103

      That hurt

    • @Ch1l1C0nCarnag3
      @Ch1l1C0nCarnag3 3 роки тому +40

      @@Whiterun-guard9 Fuck, that got a chuckle out of me. Take my like.

    • @Whiterun-guard9
      @Whiterun-guard9 3 роки тому +25

      @@Ch1l1C0nCarnag3 no problem

    • @bfufhryrrhtjhxbdgkjgutitjh7877
      @bfufhryrrhtjhxbdgkjgutitjh7877 3 роки тому +8

      @@Whiterun-guard9 hello whiterun guard I have a question: which knee was hit by an arrow?

    • @Whiterun-guard9
      @Whiterun-guard9 3 роки тому +16

      @@bfufhryrrhtjhxbdgkjgutitjh7877 Bold of you to assume that I'll tell you about my glorious adventures.

  • @Firestar4041
    @Firestar4041 Рік тому +807

    "It takes about 400 gold, to kill all the leaders in Skyrim."
    I mean Ulfric kinda proved that Skyrim is really chill with the whole, "murdering our leaders" thing :v

    • @blueshit199
      @blueshit199 Рік тому +24

      they started a war and tried to behead him over it

    • @raimarulightning
      @raimarulightning Рік тому +29

      ​@@blueshit199 The imperials did, TBF. Skyrim in general seemed pretty indifferent, lol

    • @dschehutinefer5627
      @dschehutinefer5627 Рік тому +34

      @@raimarulightning Yeah, I've been on a rerun recently for the first time since release and was quite flabbergasted when Jarl Balgruuf said something along the lines of "Well, I suppose he just really needed to prove his point." when asked about Ulfric's murder of the High King.

    • @Otakupatriot117
      @Otakupatriot117 Рік тому

      @@dschehutinefer5627 Balgruuf just wanted to prove his dick was bigger. Even if it meant accepting Imperial rule.

    • @zerotodona1495
      @zerotodona1495 Рік тому +17

      @@dschehutinefer5627skyrim is about strength. Voice or not, the high king was a weak man.

  • @PsychShrew
    @PsychShrew 2 роки тому +425

    I was seriously shocked to see Doug didn't know where the Jarl of Markarth's bedroom is. Only now realising that it might not have been normal for me to have memorised the layout of each Skyrim hold.

    • @hypermaeonyx4969
      @hypermaeonyx4969 2 роки тому +16

      I was shocked too, does Doug even skyrim!?

    • @jonnyofalltrades6620
      @jonnyofalltrades6620 2 роки тому +59

      @@hypermaeonyx4969 After watching some of these videos, I am not 100% sure that he has played much of normal Skyrim outside of the challenge streams. Which I think makes it better because of chaos.

    • @kentmichaelgalang686
      @kentmichaelgalang686 2 роки тому +10

      i remember going to that place and looting his secret stash near the water, good times

    • @spartanwar1185
      @spartanwar1185 Рік тому +3

      you are destined to become the agent 47 of TES

    • @Irisverse
      @Irisverse 9 місяців тому +1

      I was more shocked by how he seemed genuinely confused as to why the Jarl wasn't on his throne. It's nighttime bro, he's off the clock.

  • @Mesruksi
    @Mesruksi 3 роки тому +1205

    8:00 ”you could murder every jarl before the world record holder beats the entire game” has me thinking of a possible plot line where while the dragonborn is off to defeat Alduin, some random person uses that opportunity to kill the jarls

    • @keithbellic2629
      @keithbellic2629 2 роки тому +165

      “Can I beat Skyrim before my friend kills all the jarls”

    • @grukmccrymyselftoosleep7098
      @grukmccrymyselftoosleep7098 2 роки тому +20

      @@keithbellic2629 all the friend would need to do is kill balgruff so you can’t do the peace council

    • @hypermaeonyx4969
      @hypermaeonyx4969 2 роки тому +2

      @@grukmccrymyselftoosleep7098 maybe they'll do it in separate computers

    • @keithbellic2629
      @keithbellic2629 2 роки тому +1

      @@grukmccrymyselftoosleep7098 Huh, true. Big brain plays by Gruk here everyone!

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 2 роки тому +6

      @@grukmccrymyselftoosleep7098 Peace council is optional, just do the civil war quest-line first. It would be a delay, perhaps a severe one, but not a run-ending event per se.

  • @skybornwanderer7419
    @skybornwanderer7419 3 роки тому +555

    The arrest dialogue failing / canceling itself might be related to the game taking a few seconds to add the murder to the bounty, as after waiting for the 1000 coins added message it didn't do it again.

  • @willhornsby206
    @willhornsby206 3 роки тому +4376

    Theres still 9 more jarls to kill. Every jarl has a replacement because of the civil war questline. So you have to kill 18 jarls

    • @ollikoskiniemi6221
      @ollikoskiniemi6221 3 роки тому +871

      Technically there is 19 jarls, because Whiterun's jarl gets replaced by his brother Hrongar if he dies, which is literally impossible without mods. But this was supposed to be a part of cut content quest.
      And then there is general Tullius and the emperor...

    • @alex0589
      @alex0589 3 роки тому +161

      Horse tilt them right in the face in the sequel, Doug

    • @sebastianpijov8708
      @sebastianpijov8708 3 роки тому +208

      17 Jarls. Elisif doesn't get replaced.

    • @drgojira6044
      @drgojira6044 3 роки тому +133

      @@sebastianpijov8708 Erikur was rumored to replace her if she was killed during a cut portion of a daedric quest

    • @spesswizard8869
      @spesswizard8869 2 роки тому +114

      @@ollikoskiniemi6221 You not only have to kill the Jarls, but you also need to beat the entire civil war campaign in under 20 minutes.

  • @overestimatedforesight
    @overestimatedforesight 2 роки тому +104

    "Is there any way I could get out of Solitude faster?"
    Young Doug had not yet realized the true power of horse tilt.

  • @charbway
    @charbway Рік тому +58

    "By the order of the Jarl, stop right there!"
    *what jarl*

  • @TheGamesReal
    @TheGamesReal 3 роки тому +715

    Wow I did not expect this to be an actual speedrun

    • @TheGamesReal
      @TheGamesReal 3 роки тому +14

      @@agatagalavotti7886 Short circuit, bot.

    • @gregorytu8357
      @gregorytu8357 3 роки тому +1

      @@TheGamesRealspammers

    • @CylindricalWhistle
      @CylindricalWhistle 3 роки тому +8

      Report every spam comment and it'll get removed eventually. Really annoying.

  • @zeron7461
    @zeron7461 3 роки тому +464

    "hey, this is DougDoug where we solve common, everyday problems."
    hey thats not right

    • @No-yu9jj
      @No-yu9jj 3 роки тому +60

      What are you on about murdering aristocracy at an optimal pace is a common everyday problem in my eyes

    • @black_m1n825
      @black_m1n825 3 роки тому +11

      Evil Doug Doug

  • @12packersfan
    @12packersfan 3 роки тому +557

    Doug: *murders the Queen of Skyrim*
    Also Doug: *What why are the guards mad at me???*

  • @reidleblanc3140
    @reidleblanc3140 2 роки тому +38

    I love the implication that despite Ulfric already having done this exact thing, none of the nine holds thought to increase security around their Jarls
    I also love how Ulfric's guards are okay with HIM doing it, but not YOU

  • @fennecwolfox
    @fennecwolfox 2 роки тому +1539

    Okay, consider: Skyrim, but every enemy knows where you are at all times and is coming to kill you
    I don't know if it's possible, but damn it sounds amazing

    • @wuntapwunflap2153
      @wuntapwunflap2153 2 роки тому +72

      I wish there was a way to get this higher on the comment section

    • @skyblade7438
      @skyblade7438 2 роки тому +108

      Considering how much of a mess the bears were, I think that might be very rough.

    • @Fernsanthemum
      @Fernsanthemum 2 роки тому +147

      Pathfinding of the near thousand npcs all coming towards one target??? Lag central most likely lmfao

    • @thelqualomee1040
      @thelqualomee1040 2 роки тому +92

      this is actually REALLY really interesting. the main issue i see is that not every enemy is simply rendered in at all times. so this means whatever enemies you load in are the ones that see you. so its basically just skyrim but no stealth

    • @fennecwolfox
      @fennecwolfox 2 роки тому +41

      @@thelqualomee1040 Reverse stealth, even, since just existing causes enemies to become aggressive towards you

  • @Ixarus6713
    @Ixarus6713 3 роки тому +640

    So a prisoner that has just been captured by the imperials can (at level 1) with the worst destruction spell, fight and kill all of the Jarls (with their high-level guards) and get away by serving a short amount of time or paying their 40 gold bounty.
    Skyrim law sure is lax, it's no wonder criminals run rampant...

    • @ironwraith852
      @ironwraith852 2 роки тому +6

      What’s the best Novice destruction spell?

    • @northscene
      @northscene 2 роки тому +5

      @@ironwraith852 sparks

    • @ironwraith852
      @ironwraith852 2 роки тому +2

      @@northscene is frost the middle ground?

    • @irisinthedarkworld
      @irisinthedarkworld 2 роки тому +14

      arniel's convection might be worse

    • @NoxWyatt
      @NoxWyatt 2 роки тому +13

      @@irisinthedarkworld I forgot that one existed.

  • @alexn8672
    @alexn8672 3 роки тому +829

    I know that this would absolutely break the lore and make Alduin impossible to defeat, but I wish there was an option to solve the civil war by killing literally every leader that keeps it in motion. Peace through excess violence, Wild Card style.

    • @0zz343
      @0zz343 3 роки тому +28

      emm.. heard of power vacuum?

    • @Goodbutevilgenius
      @Goodbutevilgenius 3 роки тому +11

      @@0zz343 What about it?

    • @indestructiblemadness8531
      @indestructiblemadness8531 3 роки тому +127

      @@0zz343 There is no power vacuum as long as you hold the power :DD

    • @ericjoseph4203
      @ericjoseph4203 3 роки тому +55

      @@0zz343 what part of killing literally every leader did you miss

    • @GaryJamieson2005
      @GaryJamieson2005 3 роки тому +68

      ye this is what i loved about fallout new vegas you can kill literally every major faction leader and the game works around that still giving you a satisfying ending with the wildcard ending

  • @interrobang5785
    @interrobang5785 3 роки тому +870

    The bounty for assassinating the Jarl being just 40 gold is hilarious.

    • @ninjashoe2158
      @ninjashoe2158 3 роки тому +106

      No it's 1000 gold, and an extra 40 for assulting him.

    • @Romanticoutlaw
      @Romanticoutlaw 3 роки тому +88

      that they canonically tried to execute ulfric over a crime that's fine is as much as the cost of some mediocre heavy armor is hilarious to me now

    • @alex0589
      @alex0589 3 роки тому +3

      yeah those guards are just profiting from the brief instability, they really didnt like em

    • @alex0589
      @alex0589 3 роки тому +51

      @@Romanticoutlaw "hey you, youre finally awake...do you happen to have 40 bucks, i'm in a bit of pickle here..."

    • @bfufhryrrhtjhxbdgkjgutitjh7877
      @bfufhryrrhtjhxbdgkjgutitjh7877 3 роки тому +20

      Every sixty seconds in skyrim a jarl is burned to death. Together we can stop this

  • @manabeans8179
    @manabeans8179 2 роки тому +112

    5:56 the Jarl calls him a fool for trying to burn everything down, he's heard of the mad mage burning Jarls. These were his final words, to condemn Doug for his crimes.

  • @Jousef9
    @Jousef9 2 роки тому +98

    "please inform the Jarl of your town that there is a crazy guy going around killing all the jarls, he already killed 5 jarls, thought you might want to keep an eye for that, good luck"

  • @Lethal_Spoon
    @Lethal_Spoon 3 роки тому +124

    You have to wait for the “1000 bounty added” notification to appear before getting arrested, otherwise they think you literally murdered mid dialogue

  • @Anchor-Supreme
    @Anchor-Supreme 3 роки тому +192

    I like how quickly this proves that the best spell in Skyrim is the first one you can get.

    • @Ventorath
      @Ventorath 3 роки тому +30

      I mean, more to do with the way Skyrim just scales everything, so you're not really particularly weak doing this.

    • @Mythic_Echoes
      @Mythic_Echoes 3 роки тому +19

      level difficulty scaling, most npc has same level as you do. So leveling up can make the game harder

    • @gxrsky
      @gxrsky 3 роки тому +1

      On the easiest difficulty, yeah

  • @swordsmancs
    @swordsmancs 3 роки тому +741

    > escapes execution
    > murders the leaders of an entire nation
    > refuses to elaborate
    > leaves
    What a chad

    • @stare4539
      @stare4539 3 роки тому +1

      yoOoo

    • @blackironwalterkus3851
      @blackironwalterkus3851 3 роки тому +47

      >pays 400 gold to be completely forgiven

    • @cowboydoggo6168
      @cowboydoggo6168 3 роки тому +15

      Available now for only 400 septims.

    • @trippy5879
      @trippy5879 3 роки тому +23

      'Buy order of the jarl sto-"
      "Bitch what jarl?"

    • @CoRLex-jh5vx
      @CoRLex-jh5vx 2 роки тому +6

      "In Skyrim, you start as a prisoner, and then you find out why." --Paarthurnax, probably

  • @ftopayrespects2389
    @ftopayrespects2389 2 роки тому +40

    Breaking news: Prisoner sentenced to death that escaped has now assassinated every Jarl in Skyrim in less than 30 minutes

  • @MisterMeApproves
    @MisterMeApproves 2 роки тому +21

    12:30 As chat was saying on stream, after killing a Jarl you have to wait until the 1000 bounty is added before you sheath your flames.

  • @chigchum9602
    @chigchum9602 3 роки тому +178

    All I've learned from this is that the flame spell is oddly effective for a spell you get at the beginning of the game.

    • @SCP--rj8hm
      @SCP--rj8hm 3 роки тому +1

      Your pfp terrifies me

    • @alex0589
      @alex0589 3 роки тому +10

      There's other spells??

    • @Fun4luve
      @Fun4luve 3 роки тому +7

      @@alex0589 Healing pretty much the only restoration spell I use.

    • @CoRLex-jh5vx
      @CoRLex-jh5vx 2 роки тому +4

      @@Fun4luve FAST healing might be more appropriate for a speedrun

  • @15oClock
    @15oClock 3 роки тому +159

    "We solve common, every day problems."
    A novelty.
    "We're going to murder people!"
    *Wait*

  • @KawasaGod
    @KawasaGod 3 роки тому +172

    Just imagine sombody asking their mom if they can get a pepper with eyes that a UA-camr just asked them politely to buy it

    • @technicolorwaterfowl849
      @technicolorwaterfowl849 3 роки тому +3

      It's also skin coloured, if that helps

    • @pluto3194
      @pluto3194 3 роки тому +11

      Beats buying a shirt with a youtuber's channel name on it.

  • @usmcgrunt_1944
    @usmcgrunt_1944 2 роки тому +41

    Doug's out here singlehandedly plunging Skyrim into even MORE chaos than it was already in 😂😂

  • @miransherwan5644
    @miransherwan5644 2 роки тому +484

    I like how Ulfric is the only Jarl who can give the player a relatively good fight
    A true son of Skyrim😂❤

    • @LuminousWhispers11
      @LuminousWhispers11 2 роки тому +30

      That is thanks to the Greybeards.

    • @tysej4
      @tysej4 2 роки тому +10

      I can't remember if it was a mod that changed level scaling or if it was in one of the editions but I do remember a time where Jarl Ulfric would be level 25 (Still relatively low, but the highest amongst Jarls) from the start.
      That would make the flame spell literally akin to pouring lukewarm water on him.

    • @boiyado6717
      @boiyado6717 2 роки тому +9

      @@tysej4 It’s Skyrim, destruction magic is about as effective as a light tap.

    • @saitama9994
      @saitama9994 Рік тому +1

      @@boiyado6717 lightning storm >:) but only if you have a billion magika

  • @ookami-chan3328
    @ookami-chan3328 3 роки тому +2207

    "By order of the Jarl, stop right there"
    "You mean the one I just incinerated?"
    "Y-yeah..."
    "OK, take me to jail"

    • @hypermaeonyx4969
      @hypermaeonyx4969 2 роки тому +150

      "By order of the high qu-"
      "She's dead..."
      "Oh... By order of the emp-"
      "He's dead too, plus this is skyrim, not cyrodiil"
      "By order of the Thalm-"
      "Which Thalmor? there was three, and this is skyrim, not summerset, also I already killed Elewen and everyone else at the recent party"
      "ummm... By order of the Nine Divines, stop-"
      "I'm doing Talos work and also I'm also the champion of practically every daedric prince, what are the damn divines gonna do to me? send another Pelinal? if they can do that then why do the Thalmor still exist? HMM?"
      "*game crashes*"
      "MOTHER OF FU-"

    • @the_great_cow117
      @the_great_cow117 2 роки тому +42

      By the power of Todd Howard

    • @alduintheanti-dragonborn
      @alduintheanti-dragonborn 2 роки тому +23

      @@the_great_cow117 IT JUST WORKS!

    • @kentmichaelgalang686
      @kentmichaelgalang686 2 роки тому +12

      @@alduintheanti-dragonborn *todd teleports the dragonborn to **-hell-** dead body cleanup cell*

    • @Helllo-w8f
      @Helllo-w8f 2 роки тому +2

      i did not mean to steal that joke forgive me

  • @shadowwolf12398
    @shadowwolf12398 3 роки тому +565

    Literally got 300 hours in Skyrim and didn’t even realise winterhold had a jarl

    • @Qreamey
      @Qreamey 3 роки тому +5

      yeah

    • @IanAnimatesBagels
      @IanAnimatesBagels 3 роки тому +93

      The only reason I knew is because I was doing a no-fast-travel run and needed some cash. On a side note, did you know that building has closable doors and no patrolling AI, making it really easy to rob him blind?

    • @LilBiscuit1
      @LilBiscuit1 3 роки тому +1

      Same

    • @whyle5318
      @whyle5318 3 роки тому +5

      I beat the game 4 times without knowing that

    • @PogromcaDeszczu
      @PogromcaDeszczu 3 роки тому +5

      Then you don't pay to details hehe

  • @friedsputnik2710
    @friedsputnik2710 3 роки тому +153

    Now THIS is the way Skyrim is meant to be played

    • @FrancisR420
      @FrancisR420 3 роки тому +6

      Doug truly is playing the best Skyrim of his life

    • @4angelofpeace4
      @4angelofpeace4 3 роки тому +1

      Now THIS is jarl racing

    • @alex0589
      @alex0589 3 роки тому

      I horse tilt to go to the grocery store now

  • @FluffyJosh808
    @FluffyJosh808 2 роки тому +36

    5:22 when he almost blasts that kid had me cracking up lmfao

  • @Sekai_no_dokusha
    @Sekai_no_dokusha 2 роки тому +240

    Skyrim players: "Skyrim is a serious game with good lore"
    *Also skyrim players:* 3:16

  • @Secretlymea
    @Secretlymea 3 роки тому +291

    Literally saw the notification and laughed, already know it’s gonna be great

  • @johnmcgraw1475
    @johnmcgraw1475 3 роки тому +159

    I really did not expect him to use actual complicated speed run tech I’m impressed

  • @countdooku7020
    @countdooku7020 3 роки тому +192

    Manufacturer: Hey DougDoug we fucked up, they came out pink. Going to cost you a little more to fix it
    DougDoug: *looks at Bethesda play book* it’s not a bug, it’s a feature 😈

  • @jpalz
    @jpalz 2 роки тому +54

    "By order of the Jarl, you're under arrest"
    The lie detector has determined that was a lie

  • @EMVIREAL
    @EMVIREAL 2 роки тому +33

    I know this will sound strange but I find that whenever I feeling anxious Doug helps me distract myself from the storm outside (I have storm anxiety) so thank you Doug for making such hilarious content ❤️

    • @EF-kk3vh
      @EF-kk3vh 2 роки тому +3

      I’m 3 months late but this doesn’t sound strange it’s very sweet :) Doug’s content is comforting

  • @sasgo8452
    @sasgo8452 3 роки тому +132

    * proudly *
    "I beat the world record for Skyrim!"
    "Wow! Which category?"
    "Category?"

  • @cornflakeshumunculus8373
    @cornflakeshumunculus8373 3 роки тому +292

    This game just doesn’t stop being so full of infinite content. Perfectly balanced game with no exploits

  • @idontevenknow4614
    @idontevenknow4614 3 роки тому +153

    evil dougdoug be like:
    "hey this is douglasdouglas where we solve problems that everyone has :)" and does a normal episode of skyrim like from 2012

  • @rafaellucadetena9355
    @rafaellucadetena9355 2 роки тому +11

    One cool trivia about leaving Ulfric to the end is that he is the most powerful jarl in all Skyrim. Literally can face the other jarls at the same time and kill all of them.

  • @harrisoncoffee5210
    @harrisoncoffee5210 Рік тому +10

    3:04 That little draw back he does with his head when she tells him to be quiet😂😂 like that’s not supposed to happen

  • @magical86
    @magical86 3 роки тому +54

    I don’t know what it is about this specific video, but the music selection is KILLER. The battlefield track especially went really really well, 10/10 keep up the good work

  • @TeenoGames
    @TeenoGames 3 роки тому +37

    I never knew that Whiterun puts a 1000 gold bounty on you for killing the Jarl but Morthal only does 40. Imagine dying and finding out in the afterlife that your murderer has a bounty cheaper than the sword used to kill you.

  • @kellar367
    @kellar367 3 роки тому +83

    “I hope you learned a lot about murder today.”
    Yes, yes we did Doug

  • @BluSoldier..
    @BluSoldier.. Рік тому +5

    Jarl: fkn dies
    Gaurd: IN LOVING MEMORY OF THE JARL STOP RIGHT THERE!

  • @papafrogproductions918
    @papafrogproductions918 2 роки тому +5

    Wow. Witnessing the beginnings of an addiction. Who knew what the road of skyrim speed running would lead poor doug and his horse.

  • @olive4262
    @olive4262 3 роки тому +17

    12:40
    Actually, there is a small delay in when you get a bounty after commuting a crime. When you kill someone, if you submit to the guards immediately, they will forgive you for attacking the person, then you get the bounty for killing them, causing them to stop talking to you and attacking you.

  • @Ehovercraft
    @Ehovercraft 3 роки тому +21

    I love the idea of giving the plush to a friend as a gift, with no explanation at all whatsoever and seeing their reaction as the ghostly outline of the Dougdoug pepper peers into their soul as they try to sleep.

  • @joughnut496
    @joughnut496 3 роки тому +98

    When you kill the Jarl of Whiterun, his brother replaces the throne when you return to Dragonreach. Doug, you forgot to kill one Jarl

    • @waddle_plop
      @waddle_plop 3 роки тому +33

      Technically, that was cut content and is not in the vanilla game.
      Also technically, each jarl has a replacement in the opposing political faction, but then it’s a whole other challenge.

    • @joughnut496
      @joughnut496 3 роки тому +5

      @@waddle_plop I know, but you can bring his brother in by having the jarl be killable, which Douglas allowed.

  • @Apollo_XII_
    @Apollo_XII_ Рік тому +10

    12:28 the reason they weren't cool with the murder before that extra second wait was because attacking and killing the Jarl are two different bounties, which apply at different times. The 1000gp killing bounty applies a second or two after you kill them, so when the guards are trying to arrest you initially it's for the 40gp attacking bounty. But mid-sentence the 1000gp bounty gets applied and they turn hostile again.

  • @personmens
    @personmens 3 роки тому +6

    when he says "and now, the final jarl" but there's still half of the video left, you know it's going to be chaos

  • @izzybrizzie9133
    @izzybrizzie9133 3 роки тому +22

    Hey Doug, to you I might be one of your thousands of fans but to me, you really do help me ease my mind with your fun videos.
    I do hope you're doing better with your problems, when I heard that you weren't well I was really scared and I am hoping that you're doing better since then.

  • @curly2307
    @curly2307 3 роки тому +58

    I've learnt today that if I kill the queen, wait a few seconds and sheathe my weapon I'll simply go to jail. Thanks Doug

  • @defaultprofilepictureguy2526
    @defaultprofilepictureguy2526 3 роки тому +34

    Imagine you’re a jarl setting up guards to stop one man from killing your bloodline lmao

  • @dr.toasty2343
    @dr.toasty2343 2 роки тому +6

    This actually sounds really fun as a playthrough. Play as an altmer assassin sent to destabilize skyrim by killing its leaders.

  • @whismurmagic7903
    @whismurmagic7903 3 місяці тому +1

    Doug’s crippling horse tilt addiction is tearing my family apart

  • @missmara4980
    @missmara4980 3 роки тому +20

    I watched the stream and can confirm that getting out of Helgen worked really smoothly and didn't take up half of the stream at all.

  • @DankSpoony
    @DankSpoony 3 роки тому +67

    Stream doug: "Nothing's happening. I can't do anything. I cant escape. I can't load. I can't do anything."
    Voice-over doug: "this is going great"

  • @TheRoomy
    @TheRoomy 3 роки тому +36

    13:20 The guards stop when they take damage. You can see it in the previous clip. They went to arrest you, then stopped the dialogue because they took fire damage. Flames is doing it, it doesn't have to do with the NPC being a Jarl. Since you normally can't kill them, I'd put money on there being no special interaction by killing Jarls.

  • @InfamousBananaGoblin
    @InfamousBananaGoblin Рік тому +5

    over the course of 20 minutes, every jarl across skyrim has been murdered in cold blood by a man with nothing but hot hands, the clothes on his back, pocket change, and a vendetta

  • @TheIndieGhost
    @TheIndieGhost 2 роки тому +4

    0:21
    thank you, DougDoug, for fueling my nightmares.

  • @saps4060
    @saps4060 3 роки тому +76

    The scene where you ride off with Pinky Pie was so beautiful and emotional. Deserves an Oscar! Bravo

  • @AnimatedTerror
    @AnimatedTerror 3 роки тому +84

    Ah yes. My favorite Skyrim speed run.
    Right after kill nazeem speed runs.

    • @Im_Local
      @Im_Local 3 роки тому +1

      How tf did 2 bots get to this comment?

    • @Im_Local
      @Im_Local 3 роки тому +1

      How the fudge are there so many bots on this on comment!

    • @AnimatedTerror
      @AnimatedTerror 3 роки тому

      @@Im_Local I don’t know. Dark magic.

    • @dankcatsmemes9219
      @dankcatsmemes9219 3 роки тому

      @@Im_Local No Clue.

    • @Im_Local
      @Im_Local 3 роки тому

      @@AnimatedTerror have you ever clicked on one of these bot links?

  • @dexobj
    @dexobj 3 роки тому +12

    If you alternate the cast of flames with both hands you can stack the burn. Makes it kill way faster.

  • @kristianmeling9243
    @kristianmeling9243 Рік тому +4

    I would love to see Doug do this again now that he’s so much better at Skyrim speed running. I bet he’d be able to shave a good few minutes off his time

  • @nshnishi
    @nshnishi 3 місяці тому +2

    You have to wait before the guards can arrest you because the game doesn't register your bounty immediately, so when you try to immediately surrender the game adds a new bounty afterwards making the dialogue unavailable since it considers that you are still attacking someone

  • @toothboy7766
    @toothboy7766 3 роки тому +22

    At Thanksgiving dinner but can't stop that dougdoug grind 💪😤

  • @bloopsmoot1534
    @bloopsmoot1534 3 роки тому +34

    “Are you the Jarl?”
    Proceeds to destroy him whether or not Karl he was

  • @FriendlyKat
    @FriendlyKat 3 роки тому +102

    “Okay, we robbed a old woman using tomato’s!” That’s a great sentence.

  • @Ussonan-Foderation2016
    @Ussonan-Foderation2016 3 місяці тому +1

    Imagine just being a random dock worker and seeing a cat man launch into the harbour from seemingly no where

  • @AvitalaTheWingedWolf
    @AvitalaTheWingedWolf 5 місяців тому +1

    I love that the speed run strat is ultimately kill jarl, surrender, sleep through your time, get released, and do it again in the next hold over.

  • @dankart4924
    @dankart4924 3 роки тому +7

    I think the reason you have to wait a few secs for the jail strat is because the 1000 bounty takes a second to be added, so if you don't you'll trigger the dialogue, then the 1000 bounty gets added for the murder which makes them attack you. Whereas if you wait, the bounty is already added and you can submit.

  • @Sephiroth69
    @Sephiroth69 3 роки тому +13

    Thank you so much for creating more skyrim content.

  • @rainebierman1798
    @rainebierman1798 3 роки тому +22

    Bold of you to claim that the last run was run 3 and not run 9000 after failing the helgen glitches and horse tilt almost every time

  • @finnthefannibal
    @finnthefannibal 3 роки тому

    Doug Doug ads are quick, consice, informative, and confusingly chaotic all at once and that's why I like them.

  • @josephikrakowskiwithflextape
    @josephikrakowskiwithflextape 2 роки тому +1

    "By the order of the human being you just roasted alive, stop right there!"

  • @FuelDropforthewin
    @FuelDropforthewin 3 роки тому +6

    This feels like the culmination of a lot of previous videos.
    Running faster than fast travel to train to use the glitch for speed. Boat Golf for hole in one-ing the water.
    This is where all those skills come in.
    We thought we were watching a UA-cam channel. Instead, we were watching a training montage.

  • @Seluecus1
    @Seluecus1 3 роки тому +44

    DD: "Why didn't he do that the first time?"
    Me: He did. You dodged it. LOL

  • @JacksonOnYouTube
    @JacksonOnYouTube 3 роки тому +10

    Jarls: Dead
    Dougs Mental State: Declining
    Chat: mid psychotic break
    Content: Banger 😎

  • @klaxus5318
    @klaxus5318 Рік тому +1

    I know it's a year late and probably been pointed out already, but I figured out why the surrendering technique didn't work for the first few Jarls: He's surrendering for the assault of the Jarl, they try to arrest him for that, THEN the Jarl dies to burn damage and he has to surrender again because they're now trying to arrest him for a SECOND crime of murder. He has to wait until the Jarl is fully dead before surrendering or he'll get caught again
    Pointing this out for anyone else who wants to actually try this insane run