The Skyrim Speedrun to murder all the Jarls
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- Опубліковано 24 лис 2021
- Make a new file, assassinate every leader as fast as possible.
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About DougDoug:
Doug is a sentient bell pepper who was hired by the FBI to crack gaming challenges and also talk about things with food
#Skyrim #Speedrun #Jarl - Ігри
Just imagine being in the throne room, some homless looking guy with no real aromour runs arround and mumbling epeatadly _"where is the Jarl? Where is the Jarl?_ just before the Jarl gets assasinated.
this is cracking me up
"aromour" -- maybe a defensive smell?
Other left?
@@Tufhhuyy just smelling me is enough for me to be immortal
The image of this in my head is the best thing ive seen all day.
Imperials: *Accidentally arrests Dragonborn*
Dragonborn: *Kills all the regional leaders in 20 minutes*
This is why you don't forget the list!
well, the country's leaders because there's far more leaders in Tamriel and Mundus
"You have made a terrible mistake on this day"
@@marcelo.pastorelli yeah, good point
with nothing but rags and flame hands
A stranger approaches the Jarl with flaming hands
Irileth: Ok you can pass through
Tbf that fire spell is probably weaker than an iron sword
@@LTD538 El fuego nunca es mas débil que el hierro 🗿
@@LTD538 nah
@@Bumblebee-ox7qrdepends. Iron sword, even as the weakest sword type, is worth about 2-3 seconds of flame. Any sword can kill you faster than the flames spell, unless you dualcast it, the only reason swords don't always win is range. Same with bows, they do much more damage but require aim and arrows
Doug: Kills the Jarl.
Guards when they arrest him: "By order of the Jarl"
"By order of the , stop right there!"
For the memory of the Jarl
@@charlottesearle7997 💀
"you mean his dying wish?"
It's what the Jarl would have wanted
Gotta love Skyrim's justice system.
Illegally crossing the border: Death.
Murder one of the Jarls: A few days in jail.
40 gold*
Murder the High Queen of Skyrim: 40 gold fine
Sounds similar to the our real world justice system
@@Apollo-th2xb oh if only killing the president were that easy
@@marxist-leninist-protagonist is this a threat
Most assassination plots: *involve complex plans with dozens of factors*
Doug: *just walks in and deep fries everyone*
Guns blazin
you'd be surprised how often an assassination plot is just "run in and shoot the guy"
Dude, have you seen how he killed the emperor?
He roasted them up real nice. Add a pinch of salt and pepper, maybe an extra small pinch of crushed up garlic then add some Swiss cheese then you got a nice grilled Jarl cheese steak.
I don’t know why but I read that as “Mort assassination plots”
One man achieved what the Thalmor and Empire couldn't with nothing but a physics-defying horse, a loincloth, and a dream. And he did it before lunch. Truly inspiring.
I rewatch these at least once a month and the "shhhh" part alway gets me
DYM 'always'?
@ Shhhhh
@ no shit genius
@ Do you mean "Do you mean"?
@@hazeltree7738 Not exactly. I meant ‘Did you mean (...)’.
“We robbed an old lady using tomatoes” is probably the best thing I’ve heard in a while.
I see John Cleese wasn't that mad when he made a class for self defense against fruit.
Sad
It’s a good summation of this channel, honestly
ua-cam.com/video/ATiYoo3WEjI/v-deo.html
It’s honestly a hilarious statement.
The npcs in this speed run probably heard the craziest news in their city. Crazed magic flame man quickly murdering jarls and then (for whatever reason) surrendering to go to jail to sleep
Before the news could reach them, their jarl is already Dead
@@seyedmohammadhoseinbathaei9040 true. In this era news wouldnt travel faster than 20 minutes of the jarls death.
just imagine how this would change the lore.
"did you ever hear the tale of when ulfrich stormcloak shouted the king of skyrim to death and then dragons appeared and so did the dragonborn, who went from town to town burning all the jarls?"
"It takes about 400 gold, to kill all the leaders in Skyrim."
I mean Ulfric kinda proved that Skyrim is really chill with the whole, "murdering our leaders" thing :v
they started a war and tried to behead him over it
@@blueshit199 The imperials did, TBF. Skyrim in general seemed pretty indifferent, lol
@@raimarulightning Yeah, I've been on a rerun recently for the first time since release and was quite flabbergasted when Jarl Balgruuf said something along the lines of "Well, I suppose he just really needed to prove his point." when asked about Ulfric's murder of the High King.
@@dschehutinefer5627 Balgruuf just wanted to prove his dick was bigger. Even if it meant accepting Imperial rule.
@@dschehutinefer5627skyrim is about strength. Voice or not, the high king was a weak man.
This seems like a legit speedrun category if you could get enough people to commit to it. Throughout that whole process I was thinking of ways to cut down time (paying bounty instead of jail time to save on load screens, timing the Markarth kill so you don't have to wait 6 hours for them to turn up which costs 15-20 seconds).
I'd 100% be down with this
Thing is murder is 1000 gold. You wouldn't be able to. But based off the end, because the Jarl's aren't coded to die you don't the 1000 added to your bounty for their murder. At the same time though you usually aren't given the pay bounty option after murder in skyrim, it's usually jail or run away.
The bounty would be 1000, which you may be able to get with the cheat chests, but in total it would be like 7000 which wouldn't be obtainable
I mean, Jaiden managed to do it
Iirc some categories allow load screen time to be taken off
Regicide%
It’s been years since the “Games with food” series was big on this channel, yet we’ve just now gotten the Carrots as the main antagonist to the peppers in the Lore
I miss with food
Inb4 it becomes an ARG
@@syazaplays3303 who says it isn't?
@@syazaplays3303 an arg?
@@boygenius538_8 To be honest, I don't all that much. I know others do though.
"By the order of the Jarl, stop right there!"
*what jarl*
I forgot that 'Jarl' meant what it does and assumed it was a race at first and thought this man was gonna speedrun a genocide in under 15 min
I just want you to know that this comment has been living in my head rent-free for months now
basically b.c. times
You lead a city of panicking citizens, news of a dragon attack in Helgen sending enough fear through the city that eventually the citizens would do the work of a dozen dragons. You yearn to leave your castle to calm your citizens, but a message from Whiterun has kept you careful. Apparently some prisoner from Helgen had some time ago slain the jarl. Two more messengers confirm that he slayed jarls from a few less populated cities. The door to the hall slammed open, as if hit by a battering ram. The whole court looked to see a man covered in water and snow, all excluding his hands at least. In his hands two dancing balls of fire sent gusts of steam around their radius.
"Faster, gotta go faster."
The man sprinted at an almost unrivaled pace towards you, two streams of flame already lancing through your armor and skin. All the while, the murderer spike to unknown figures. What demons drove him? What beasts of darkness could hope to contain him?
When the man finished the deed, he sprinted from the chamber, never to be seen again.
Your death and the deaths of all the Jarls left the world in turmoil, just in time for the arrival of Aldiun. In the end, Skyrim fell to madness and monsters, eldritch beings fighting dragons and vampires. Nothing remained in the end.
All this for a speedrun. The world destroyed in half an hour.
This is beautiful
Absolutely amazing
Holy shit cool
This is a thing of beauty
Master class
I love how the guards will just let a completely random nobody walk up to the most powerful people in Skyrim, either because they don't tell them their reason or say they've got some questions.
Skyrim guards are about as effective as trying to play chess with checkers pieces.
That hurt
@@Whiterun-guard9 Fuck, that got a chuckle out of me. Take my like.
@@Ch1l1C0nCarnag3 no problem
@@Whiterun-guard9 hello whiterun guard I have a question: which knee was hit by an arrow?
@@bfufhryrrhtjhxbdgkjgutitjh7877 Bold of you to assume that I'll tell you about my glorious adventures.
"Is there any way I could get out of Solitude faster?"
Young Doug had not yet realized the true power of horse tilt.
I was seriously shocked to see Doug didn't know where the Jarl of Markarth's bedroom is. Only now realising that it might not have been normal for me to have memorised the layout of each Skyrim hold.
I was shocked too, does Doug even skyrim!?
@@donutlovingwerewolf8837 After watching some of these videos, I am not 100% sure that he has played much of normal Skyrim outside of the challenge streams. Which I think makes it better because of chaos.
i remember going to that place and looting his secret stash near the water, good times
you are destined to become the agent 47 of TES
I was more shocked by how he seemed genuinely confused as to why the Jarl wasn't on his throne. It's nighttime bro, he's off the clock.
so nice to see Doug discovering the joys of speed running. at first you have a strat and you try to improve and then with a random thing in the game you improve by over 10 min
I've been wanting to get into speedrunning, but I don't know what game to start with. Any suggestions?
@@thenoseguy I’d say just try and speedrun any game you’re really good at, or that you just like a ton. If the game itself is too long then just set a goal for yourself and do it as quick as you can. Starting with games you like is more fun than just playing what’s popular
@@thenoseguy either choose a game speedrunners play that you enjoy or just play anything you enjoy, what good is speedrunning a game if you don't enjoy it in the first place?
thought he has been speedrunning things for years
@@thenoseguy also if you speedrun a game you like and are already aquatinted with you’ll have an easier time as you won’t have to learn the controls on top of learning the speedrun it self
Theres still 9 more jarls to kill. Every jarl has a replacement because of the civil war questline. So you have to kill 18 jarls
Technically there is 19 jarls, because Whiterun's jarl gets replaced by his brother Hrongar if he dies, which is literally impossible without mods. But this was supposed to be a part of cut content quest.
And then there is general Tullius and the emperor...
Horse tilt them right in the face in the sequel, Doug
17 Jarls. Elisif doesn't get replaced.
@@sebastianpijov8708 Erikur was rumored to replace her if she was killed during a cut portion of a daedric quest
@@ollikoskiniemi6221 You not only have to kill the Jarls, but you also need to beat the entire civil war campaign in under 20 minutes.
5:56 the Jarl calls him a fool for trying to burn everything down, he's heard of the mad mage burning Jarls. These were his final words, to condemn Doug for his crimes.
Okay, consider: Skyrim, but every enemy knows where you are at all times and is coming to kill you
I don't know if it's possible, but damn it sounds amazing
I wish there was a way to get this higher on the comment section
Considering how much of a mess the bears were, I think that might be very rough.
Pathfinding of the near thousand npcs all coming towards one target??? Lag central most likely lmfao
this is actually REALLY really interesting. the main issue i see is that not every enemy is simply rendered in at all times. so this means whatever enemies you load in are the ones that see you. so its basically just skyrim but no stealth
@@thelqualomee1040 Reverse stealth, even, since just existing causes enemies to become aggressive towards you
8:00 ”you could murder every jarl before the world record holder beats the entire game” has me thinking of a possible plot line where while the dragonborn is off to defeat Alduin, some random person uses that opportunity to kill the jarls
“Can I beat Skyrim before my friend kills all the jarls”
@@keithbellic2629 all the friend would need to do is kill balgruff so you can’t do the peace council
@@grukmccrymyselftoosleep7098 maybe they'll do it in separate computers
@@grukmccrymyselftoosleep7098 Huh, true. Big brain plays by Gruk here everyone!
@@grukmccrymyselftoosleep7098 Peace council is optional, just do the civil war quest-line first. It would be a delay, perhaps a severe one, but not a run-ending event per se.
“Welcome to Doug Doug where we solve common everyday problems”
I sense…a disturbance.
Everyone has problems with politicians
I thought these were problems no one has... But my problem is THESE FREAKING BOTS IN THE REPLIES GO AWAY
@@crablord8499 Steal some gold from some furries and burn them alive
@@crablord8499 These bots are a problem _everyone has_
ua-cam.com/video/ATiYoo3WEjI/v-deo.html
I love the implication that despite Ulfric already having done this exact thing, none of the nine holds thought to increase security around their Jarls
I also love how Ulfric's guards are okay with HIM doing it, but not YOU
5:22 when he almost blasts that kid had me cracking up lmfao
"hey, this is DougDoug where we solve common, everyday problems."
hey thats not right
What are you on about murdering aristocracy at an optimal pace is a common everyday problem in my eyes
Evil Doug Doug
Wow I did not expect this to be an actual speedrun
@@agatagalavotti7886 Short circuit, bot.
@@TheGamesRealspammers
Report every spam comment and it'll get removed eventually. Really annoying.
"please inform the Jarl of your town that there is a crazy guy going around killing all the jarls, he already killed 5 jarls, thought you might want to keep an eye for that, good luck"
Breaking news: Prisoner sentenced to death that escaped has now assassinated every Jarl in Skyrim in less than 30 minutes
> escapes execution
> murders the leaders of an entire nation
> refuses to elaborate
> leaves
What a chad
yoOoo
>pays 400 gold to be completely forgiven
Available now for only 400 septims.
'Buy order of the jarl sto-"
"Bitch what jarl?"
"In Skyrim, you start as a prisoner, and then you find out why." --Paarthurnax, probably
The arrest dialogue failing / canceling itself might be related to the game taking a few seconds to add the murder to the bounty, as after waiting for the 1000 coins added message it didn't do it again.
"By order of the Jarl, you're under arrest"
The lie detector has determined that was a lie
Skyrim players: "Skyrim is a serious game with good lore"
*Also skyrim players:* 3:16
I know that this would absolutely break the lore and make Alduin impossible to defeat, but I wish there was an option to solve the civil war by killing literally every leader that keeps it in motion. Peace through excess violence, Wild Card style.
emm.. heard of power vacuum?
@@0zz343 What about it?
@@0zz343 There is no power vacuum as long as you hold the power :DD
@@0zz343 what part of killing literally every leader did you miss
ye this is what i loved about fallout new vegas you can kill literally every major faction leader and the game works around that still giving you a satisfying ending with the wildcard ending
The bounty for assassinating the Jarl being just 40 gold is hilarious.
No it's 1000 gold, and an extra 40 for assulting him.
that they canonically tried to execute ulfric over a crime that's fine is as much as the cost of some mediocre heavy armor is hilarious to me now
yeah those guards are just profiting from the brief instability, they really didnt like em
@@Romanticoutlaw "hey you, youre finally awake...do you happen to have 40 bucks, i'm in a bit of pickle here..."
Every sixty seconds in skyrim a jarl is burned to death. Together we can stop this
12:30 As chat was saying on stream, after killing a Jarl you have to wait until the 1000 bounty is added before you sheath your flames.
Doug's out here singlehandedly plunging Skyrim into even MORE chaos than it was already in 😂😂
So a prisoner that has just been captured by the imperials can (at level 1) with the worst destruction spell, fight and kill all of the Jarls (with their high-level guards) and get away by serving a short amount of time or paying their 40 gold bounty.
Skyrim law sure is lax, it's no wonder criminals run rampant...
What’s the best Novice destruction spell?
@@ironwraith852 sparks
@@northscene is frost the middle ground?
arniel's convection might be worse
@@irisinthedarkworld I forgot that one existed.
"We solve common, every day problems."
A novelty.
"We're going to murder people!"
*Wait*
Wait is murder not an everyday thing?
I like how Ulfric is the only Jarl who can give the player a relatively good fight
A true son of Skyrim😂❤
That is thanks to the Greybeards.
I can't remember if it was a mod that changed level scaling or if it was in one of the editions but I do remember a time where Jarl Ulfric would be level 25 (Still relatively low, but the highest amongst Jarls) from the start.
That would make the flame spell literally akin to pouring lukewarm water on him.
@@tysej4 It’s Skyrim, destruction magic is about as effective as a light tap.
@@boiyado6717 lightning storm >:) but only if you have a billion magika
Jarl: fkn dies
Gaurd: IN LOVING MEMORY OF THE JARL STOP RIGHT THERE!
You have to wait for the “1000 bounty added” notification to appear before getting arrested, otherwise they think you literally murdered mid dialogue
Literally got 300 hours in Skyrim and didn’t even realise winterhold had a jarl
yeah
The only reason I knew is because I was doing a no-fast-travel run and needed some cash. On a side note, did you know that building has closable doors and no patrolling AI, making it really easy to rob him blind?
Same
I beat the game 4 times without knowing that
Then you don't pay to details hehe
3:04 That little draw back he does with his head when she tells him to be quiet😂😂 like that’s not supposed to happen
I know this will sound strange but I find that whenever I feeling anxious Doug helps me distract myself from the storm outside (I have storm anxiety) so thank you Doug for making such hilarious content ❤️
I’m 3 months late but this doesn’t sound strange it’s very sweet :) Doug’s content is comforting
Doug: *murders the Queen of Skyrim*
Also Doug: *What why are the guards mad at me???*
All I've learned from this is that the flame spell is oddly effective for a spell you get at the beginning of the game.
Your pfp terrifies me
There's other spells??
@@alex0589 Healing pretty much the only restoration spell I use.
@@Fun4luve FAST healing might be more appropriate for a speedrun
One cool trivia about leaving Ulfric to the end is that he is the most powerful jarl in all Skyrim. Literally can face the other jarls at the same time and kill all of them.
when he says "and now, the final jarl" but there's still half of the video left, you know it's going to be chaos
I like how quickly this proves that the best spell in Skyrim is the first one you can get.
I mean, more to do with the way Skyrim just scales everything, so you're not really particularly weak doing this.
level difficulty scaling, most npc has same level as you do. So leveling up can make the game harder
On the easiest difficulty, yeah
"By order of the Jarl, stop right there"
"You mean the one I just incinerated?"
"Y-yeah..."
"OK, take me to jail"
"By order of the high qu-"
"She's dead..."
"Oh... By order of the emp-"
"He's dead too, plus this is skyrim, not cyrodiil"
"By order of the Thalm-"
"Which Thalmor? there was three, and this is skyrim, not summerset, also I already killed Elewen and everyone else at the recent party"
"ummm... By order of the Nine Divines, stop-"
"I'm doing Talos work and also I'm also the champion of practically every daedric prince, what are the damn divines gonna do to me? send another Pelinal? if they can do that then why do the Thalmor still exist? HMM?"
"*game crashes*"
"MOTHER OF FU-"
By the power of Todd Howard
@@the_great_cow117 IT JUST WORKS!
@@alduintheanti-dragonborn *todd teleports the dragonborn to **-hell-** dead body cleanup cell*
i did not mean to steal that joke forgive me
Wow. Witnessing the beginnings of an addiction. Who knew what the road of skyrim speed running would lead poor doug and his horse.
over the course of 20 minutes, every jarl across skyrim has been murdered in cold blood by a man with nothing but hot hands, the clothes on his back, pocket change, and a vendetta
* proudly *
"I beat the world record for Skyrim!"
"Wow! Which category?"
"Category?"
Just imagine sombody asking their mom if they can get a pepper with eyes that a UA-camr just asked them politely to buy it
It's also skin coloured, if that helps
Beats buying a shirt with a youtuber's channel name on it.
just wanted to say thanks for always having music credits in the description!
This has got to be the most entertaining Skyrim video I've ever seen!
I love this!
Now THIS is the way Skyrim is meant to be played
Doug truly is playing the best Skyrim of his life
Now THIS is jarl racing
I horse tilt to go to the grocery store now
Manufacturer: Hey DougDoug we fucked up, they came out pink. Going to cost you a little more to fix it
DougDoug: *looks at Bethesda play book* it’s not a bug, it’s a feature 😈
I just love all of the XC2 songs you have added! They all fit so well on the moment xD
Guard: By the order of the jarl
A bell pepper: *what jarl*
evil dougdoug be like:
"hey this is douglasdouglas where we solve problems that everyone has :)" and does a normal episode of skyrim like from 2012
Evil dougdoug is a skyrim walkthrough channel
I never knew that Whiterun puts a 1000 gold bounty on you for killing the Jarl but Morthal only does 40. Imagine dying and finding out in the afterlife that your murderer has a bounty cheaper than the sword used to kill you.
this channel is so much fun. i'm always wanting more
0:21
thank you, DougDoug, for fueling my nightmares.
Literally saw the notification and laughed, already know it’s gonna be great
Saaaamme
Facts
Same 😂
This game just doesn’t stop being so full of infinite content. Perfectly balanced game with no exploits
Nice Spiffing Brit reference.
@@astranix0198 someone gets it
Spiffing brit
This actually sounds really fun as a playthrough. Play as an altmer assassin sent to destabilize skyrim by killing its leaders.
Yo, first time watching your vids, I just couldn’t look away! Fuggin amazing
I really did not expect him to use actual complicated speed run tech I’m impressed
69 nice
he s playing on the easiest difficulty while cheating
“I hope you learned a lot about murder today.”
Yes, yes we did Doug
Doug Doug ads are quick, consice, informative, and confusingly chaotic all at once and that's why I like them.
Guard:by order of the ja-
Doug:WHAT JARL
I've learnt today that if I kill the queen, wait a few seconds and sheathe my weapon I'll simply go to jail. Thanks Doug
And so we never saw him again...
it was you??
@@Akuankka000 😳
Imagine you’re a jarl setting up guards to stop one man from killing your bloodline lmao
I would love to see Doug do this again now that he’s so much better at Skyrim speed running. I bet he’d be able to shave a good few minutes off his time
Tons of fun as usual. Thanks and keep it up
I don’t know what it is about this specific video, but the music selection is KILLER. The battlefield track especially went really really well, 10/10 keep up the good work
Ah yes. My favorite Skyrim speed run.
Right after kill nazeem speed runs.
How tf did 2 bots get to this comment?
How the fudge are there so many bots on this on comment!
@@Im_Local I don’t know. Dark magic.
@@Im_Local No Clue.
@@AnimatedTerror have you ever clicked on one of these bot links?
Thanks Doug I needed this.
The speed run I didn't know I needed
The scene where you ride off with Pinky Pie was so beautiful and emotional. Deserves an Oscar! Bravo
Stream doug: "Nothing's happening. I can't do anything. I cant escape. I can't load. I can't do anything."
Voice-over doug: "this is going great"
Just found this in my suggested videos and loved every second of it. Hilarious shit here and also impressive.
Hey DougDoug I’ve been watching you for a while and your a great channel keep up the content!
I love the idea of giving the plush to a friend as a gift, with no explanation at all whatsoever and seeing their reaction as the ghostly outline of the Dougdoug pepper peers into their soul as they try to sleep.
When you kill the Jarl of Whiterun, his brother replaces the throne when you return to Dragonreach. Doug, you forgot to kill one Jarl
Technically, that was cut content and is not in the vanilla game.
Also technically, each jarl has a replacement in the opposing political faction, but then it’s a whole other challenge.
@@waddle_plop I know, but you can bring his brother in by having the jarl be killable, which Douglas allowed.
12:28 the reason they weren't cool with the murder before that extra second wait was because attacking and killing the Jarl are two different bounties, which apply at different times. The 1000gp killing bounty applies a second or two after you kill them, so when the guards are trying to arrest you initially it's for the 40gp attacking bounty. But mid-sentence the 1000gp bounty gets applied and they turn hostile again.
i learned a lot about murder today and had fun!
12:40
Actually, there is a small delay in when you get a bounty after commuting a crime. When you kill someone, if you submit to the guards immediately, they will forgive you for attacking the person, then you get the bounty for killing them, causing them to stop talking to you and attacking you.
“Are you the Jarl?”
Proceeds to destroy him whether or not Karl he was
dougdoug’s skyrim videos are some of my favorite videos on all of youtube.
Hahaha this is the best thing I've seen in a long time. I don't usually actually laugh out loud sometimes but this time I did several times. I loved it! 😂✨ shhhhh
Hey Doug, to you I might be one of your thousands of fans but to me, you really do help me ease my mind with your fun videos.
I do hope you're doing better with your problems, when I heard that you weren't well I was really scared and I am hoping that you're doing better since then.
“Okay, we robbed a old woman using tomato’s!” That’s a great sentence.
The end screen with the music was beautiful :o