My Schizoaffective Episodes: A Rant
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- One thing I hate about having the bipolar type of schizoaffective disorder is that my episodes are almost entirely unpredictable because of the nature of how many symptoms I deal with. In this video-which is more of a rant, really-I go over the three different kinds of episodes I experience… if I had to narrow it down.
I describe each of them in detail, and my frustrations with my mental health as a whole. Schizoaffective disorder for me sometimes feels like I have three separate psychotic mood disorders, and I never know which one I’m going to get.
It was once described to me as an umbrella term for all the major biological mental illnesses. I sometimes go back and forth on the accuracy of that, but for the most part it rings true, as schizoaffective disorder has elements of schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety and depression under its wings.
It sucks, that’s for sure.
Anyways, enjoy the video!
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Disclaimer: I am not a qualified mental health professional. This channel exists for educational purposes, and I do my best to provide accurate and up-to-date information. In order to create content, I combine scientific resources (peer reviewed studies and easy-to-understand articles) and my own personal experiences/advice. I seek to make complicated topics easy to understand, but I am no substitute for a doctor, therapist, or other qualified mental health professional.
#schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizophrenia #bipolar #bipolardisorder #mania #hypomania #psychosis
One of the many things I absolutely admire and love about your presentations is your education about your life, the education of schizoaffective unique issues, but most of all you show and demonstrate that people with mental health diagnosis (especially serious ones) -> that you are still a human being who has the desire for dignity, respect, honor, engage in relationships, and the real challenges we face in every microseconds of our lives... And we are real people!
Thanks for all of this! I try!
You've got a strength of personality, Kit. It sounds like you're able to cope with a lot and we're here for you. Thanks for letting us see into your personal life.
Thanks for your kind words!
Your videos are doing a really good job at spreading awareness that people with schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder are just everyday people with a disorder that impacts them in a big way. People with hopes and dreams and friendships. The media demonizes the disorder too much, making life that much harder for people with it.
This!!! Thank you!
I have schizoaffective disorder bipolar type too and your videos help me learn about my illness and feel like im not "crazy" or alone
Not being able to cope with how bad it can get is my biggest fear as well. Or who would encounter me or rather find me in that state of panic. I have a safety contract with my mom and my psych but what if it comes on too fast? It's terrifying. I completely felt this one and understand your frustration.
Thank you 🙏
Thank you for this.
Some of what I experience is similar. Bipolar 1 mixed with psychosis means that I have visual hallucinations when full manic. Usually very very scary ones, although sometimes beautiful (which makes me want to go off my meds).
I always explain a hypo mix episode as wanting to do something Very Bad (depression) and having the energy to do it (hypo manic).
Hypo on its own isn't as nice as it used to be. I'm 43, with 2 teen kids, disabled, and so on. Feeling So Amazing gets in the way of pretty much everything else. I have, over the years, picked up things that might help to push me over. I cannot wash cutlery. I used to think it was all dishes, but it's only cutlery. So I will unpack everything from the dishwasher except cutlery, and pack the dishwasher except that. Goes for hand washing too. It's such a random thing, but it's as likely to cause an episode as if I'm late, my other recognisable trigger, which is one that makes sense. There are times I have no idea what causes the episode.
Thank you for your videos, you are amazing! 😊
Love your videos Kit, I really feel like when you share your stories I get that feeling of "I'm not the only one", and for that you will always have my like and a comment, wish I could do more but I'm far from success story when it comes to mental illness. Wishing you and all of our brothers and sisters with mental disorders the very best.
Thanks so much Kinzhe! And yeah we ain’t alone 😎
Hey, it's good to see you again! I am not on a mood stabilizer because my mania is not bad. I suffer mostly from depression which just feels like emptiness today. I find artistic outlets to be of great value especially since I can't work. I also have a sleep disorder. Maybe talk about sleep sometime? It just is so very important.
Sleep is a good topic! I will add it to the list
You’re a beautiful soul. Inside and out. I relate to a lot of this…..you are doing so well. As I could tell through the video you understand mental conditions and yours especially. I suffer with auditory hallucinations, uncontrollable negative thoughts and mood disorders. Been sectioned twice and had major psychotic episodes. I’m managing to come off my meds but it’s been hard.
The most horrible thing I’ve ever had to face….but people like us will never wilt. Will always carry on accordingly. And battle with courage. From your content I’ve gathered, You are brave and utterly smart. And have to be honest utterly gorgeous.
Keep staying poised and stay forever strong. Your doing better than you think.
Hang in there beautiful! Love your honesty and vulnerability! ❤🫂
You are such an open person. You are someone I really admire you are always interesting
It’s very helpful watching your vids
I had my worst hallucination today, I hope it was an hallucination. Everyone around me, that made eye contact, their faces turned demonic. Just previous to the hallucinations I could feel a manic episode starting, but manic for me is never good. I still feel shock up by the experience.
I really hope you aren't using anything, not an accusation. My psychosis is from drugs...
I really messed my mind uo
@@damnablethiefIsn’t it better to be drug induced since you can stop taking the drug instead of having a brain disorder?
@@JetFire9 no, because I havent used in years and am still stuck with it
I relate so much! I've just come out of a month long manic episode and was psycotic as I have Schizoaffective too but now I'm going down into depression 😢 so thank you for being so honest. It makes me feel less alone. ❤ wish you all the best.
One thing that helps me is to know that all of my episodes eventually end. So hang in there, you’re strong enough to get there 💪
Hey wassup im the guy who asked to get in contact in the last video. Apparently you rather not have a 1-1 chat and that's fine i enjoy your videos nevertheless.
As i was saying i also am schizoaffective and if i wasnt medicated i would be in big troubles as i would hallucinate all the time. My delusion and hallucinations are also mostly religious like as well so i understand the feeling. Luckily my medication, paliperidone, gets rid of 100% of the symptoms, leaving only a level of depression that i try to deal with as i can.
I understand you being worried for the future as i am. Im worried I'm going to be institutionalized again or have an episode where i hurt myself, or i mismanage my Money, but this are all risks of life for people like us and we can't do nothing but keep going and take the risk.
Take good care and love the blue hair.
Dan
Thanks for sharing the medicine you take. Is it the injection? Monthly? If you don’t mind sharing how long have you stayed at an institution (hospital) please let us know. Just want to get an idea how long it takes for medicine to make effect. Thank you.
@@BB-yw1ez it's a 3 month dose called invega trinza. I've been hospitalized for around 700 days. It takes around 40 days to have an effect on my brain
Hey Kit... I worry about not being able to cope forever too... I'm almost afraid of continuing on with my life and trying to do anything with it because I'm afraid it will just overwhelm me to that point.
We have to desl,with 2 mental illnesses. I also am autistic. Happy to discover you❤
I feel you girl! Hang in there 🙏💜
You look great ~ you’re doing well. Keep on taking care of yourself as best you can and never give up ~
You rock kit kat
I have bipolar disorder, mixed states are so uncomfortable and scary, I swear they’re the worst part of my disorder for me. But thankfully on meds I don’t really experience them anymore. I wish the meds got rid of all symptoms though but anhedonia and amotivation don’t really go away, ever. Anyway, I hope you stay as healthy as possible :)
Thank you!
Thanks Kit. This was helpful in thinking about some ways/times my psychotic and mood symptoms happen at the same time.
One of the things that people do and helps them a lot in handling these types of feelings is to talk about other people. Basically gossiping. Funny, isn't it? If you say I am hearing a voice telling me... something, that's a taboo. You get meds for that. If you talk about dangerous teddy bear that wanted to strangle you while walking down the street, hmmm... That's a story. And after a few stories like that, you might not need your meds anymore. Just make sure never to say that the teddy bear was real, 1.8 and called John.
Great video! happy you are doing well😁
For me I have to do it 24 hours at a time, life that is.
ok. I am getting slightly alarmed at how I'm thinking when I think of my husband's stress level and his health. I always freak out a little when he is under intense stress. I was diagnosed bp2 now its bp1 with psychotic behavior.
I think I have been in mixed states, great mood, irritated, pissed, sad and pissed again. then neutral. this is all in a day. also, I have been put on Seroquel 50 then it was 100 and now it's at 150...it makes me really sleepy but my body fights right through it. but I think I know what happened, I took a nap earlier in the day, I had 3 hours sleep from the night before. Body blew through the Seroquel. So, I will try the 150mg again tonight with no sleep at all. Sorry. WoW had my undivided attention. But maintenance is taking its time right now. Jerks. lol
rapid cycling. I think it's safe to say I'm doing that. I keep hallucinating bugs. I have for a while. I keep staring at your glasses. are they like immaculately clean, or are they just frames? its messing with me LOL sorry ;)
Just wanted you to know also, you are a sweet girl, very informative. I don't have the Schizophrenia going on, but bp1 and psychotic behavior. Also, have you noticed anything flubbing up concentration, speech stumbling? Where I sound like I lost concentration and it really embarrasses me, I don't want to be around people much. it's very isolating. I am blessed though to have 2 adult boys living with my husband and I. Both of our boys are special needs, one is autistic and the other has an improper diagnosis. doc says dmdd. My gut says at least bp2. its heavy on my dad's side. I have it, and I'm afraid my youngest boy has it. I seriously have motor-mouth-itis right now. sometimes I don't make a bit of sense, I can't get my words to match going out with what's being thought out. Anyway, if you were bored before, maybe I have put you to sleep lol :)
I have bp1 with psychotic symptoms and also see the bugs. It's nice to know I'm not alone, thank you for sharing.
Mine are violent and or religious but if i keep my diet clean and lift weights 6 days a week my head just plays music and im good🤣💯 This channel is sick i dont feel like such af alien 🤝 thank u dude🪬🥂
I also had a Textbook bipolar diagnosis before a later diagnosis of schitzo affective bipolar type
Wild!
I have SZA Bipolar type and OCD. took a while to figure out that Prozac at a higher dose (which treats OCD) works for my anxiety. I still think I have mental compulsions and phobias I deal with relating to OCD.
it's my own little circle of hell in my own corner of the world.
I agree the frustrating part is that you can't predict what will happen next and I do experience a lot.
by the way, I think you are very intelligent, capable, and pretty. 😊
And, as a piece of unsolicited advice, remember that some people are always looking for merchandise. What you consider walking down the street, they consider a profitable modelling career. Profitable for them mostly. And if you disagree, which seems to be the case, not really sure, they might feel like strangling you for not fulfilling their deepest fantasies of making a lot of money just by watching you walking up and down a podium.
I identify with your audio hallucinations, same thing with me.
Kit, in some vídeos you're with beautiful make up... can you answer something I thought about: do you have problems to see yourself on mirror? (during the make process, or during humor episodes/psycosis episodes).
HI kitzo. I am also diagnsed with schizophrenia.Have you ever felt any voice's tears?It feels nice.
I like the green hair and that thing you wear. I don't know what's it called. Looks good on you!
Hey, I've been watching your videos lately to help me get through a pretty dark period in my life. I'm still waiting to see a psychiatrist later this month as well as a therapist. I hear voices, I struggle with sleep, I go through what appears to be mania, I isolate more these days. I had a psychotic break a little over a month ago that was very severe, probably the worst state of psychosis I've ever had, I've experienced psychosis in the past quite a bit unfortunately. But this one was related to religion. I won't go too deep into it but basically I ended up feeling like I was losing my mind/going insane multiple times over and self harming even though I didn't want to. The voices that I would hear were usually creepy and evil and I would hear the voices constantly. Its not as bad now ever since I turned away from the christian faith. This is not an attack against Christians by the way, I just felt after that psychotic break i felt it was best to turn away from it. Since it was so harmful to my health. I've definitely been having major issues after that psychotic break. But its honestly better now, the only thing is that ive been pretty reckless with how ive been spending my money. And now i'm pretty much broke. I'm doing my best to work on it and maintain as I wait to see a psychiatrist and therapist.
Again, I just want to say thank you. Your channel has given me hope for my future, even though it feels like its at the bottom of the barrel. I feel I just need to hang in there this month and control my impulses so that I don't do anything reckless that will make things worse.
You’re heard, And hang in there you got this. Recovery is possible and I’m glad my videos help. There is life after episodes and it can be truly beautiful. You’re strong enough 💪
@@SchizoKitzo Thank you so much for your words, i'll do my best to hang in there. I hope that you'll be able to resolve your frustrations that you mentioned in this video. I hope the best for your mental and emotional health. Much love.
Do you respond okay to people in your personal life pointing out symptoms?
Depends on the person, but generally yes. I surround myself with kind people which helps.
Kitzo, how do you deal with relationships? (and the triggers that can come from them). Love your videos! Thank you
Hi Kit! I've just recently discovered your channel and you are so lovely! One of my old friends is dealing with schizoaffective disorder. I have this question that I still can't find the answer to after the many videos on schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder I've watched.
Every person is unique and different, but I was wondering-- what is the proper way to help my friend when/if they're hearing voices or experiencing paranoia?
I myself have OCD, I get paranoid a lot, and telling my intrusive thoughts: "Maybe, maybe not" is the golden technique to help cope/heal from OCD. Ignoring the thoughts or having a dialogue with OCD thoughts makes it much much worse. Could the same or similar tactic be used for someone with schizoaffective disorder? Would that be too neutral or frank, and end up sounding really cold and cruel from the perspective of someone who has this specific disorder?
I know some people have said that if they are hearing voices, it helps for the other person to distract them and talk about other things... but I'm still not sure.
Sorry if this is a lot of text and questions!!
Thank you so much for these videos. I'm really sad for my friend who has had an exceeding amount of trauma throughout her life and I really want her to find happiness and a stable, safer life.
For me, and this is what I tell those around me, is to ask if I want to talk about it. And if I do, which I often do, talking helps. If I need to be distracted, I’ll say that too. But that’s my self aware self speaking. You can also try to distract without asking, you know her better than I ^_^
More generally, I’d say to not disprove the delusions. It won’t work and it won’t help and just might cause a fight. The point of delusions is that you believe them. But also don’t support them either. Instead, going back to before, listen or distract.
When it comes to hallucinations, saying they’re not real often won’t help either. You can ask what they’re saying, what it’s like, what she’s seeing hearing etc. sometimes this can increase trust, and you can help better with that trust (ie say when a new doctors visit might be in order). The point is to make someone comfortable. It’s so easy to isolate and having someone to talk to really helps me, no matter how “crazy” I sound I know I’m safe with them. And I think you can be that person for your friend if you try!
The good thing about treatment is that this stuff ends. It does get better with the right meds and therapy and lifestyle changes. It might take time, but it does get better. Hang in there, hope this helps!
@@SchizoKitzo THANK YOU soooo much!! I'm grateful for your explanation. Your words mean a lot. It's fascinating how paranoia works somewhat diversely in both of these disorders--their healing/coping mechanisms are vastly different.
I'm hanging in there. I'm definitely worried for her sake because she's relapsed into hard substance abuse before. She's getting clean now and improving, and I hope it can stay like that for many years and not only 2 months :(
It is of course deplorable that you cannot predict any of the instantaneous attacks of the syndrome. - But so it is, one has to accept it. - I can neither predict my sleeping pattern, nor what dreams I will have.
You get nightmares??
Why can't you predict your sleep patterns?
Doesn't your doctor prescribe you sleep meds or isn't any of your medicines sedating??
Do you have any advice for people that have friends with schizophrenia? I have a friend with schizophrenia and sometimes he gets mad at me for little things. And he'll have these outburst and he'll add very passive. Aggressive towards me. Is there any way I can help him? Or is there any way you can help me to understand it better.
Your insight is amazing, hang-in-there. Do you know if the use of hypnosis would have any useful effect?
Not that I know of, I haven’t really researched it!
I have the same, really just the esquizofrenia, but it sucks and the pills make me fat
How often are you experiencing psychosis? For me, the delusions and depression are the worst symptoms. Fortunately the delusions are rare.
Psychosis happens in small spurts all the time. I go a few days max in between and usually have a solid conversation with a voice once a week. One of my recent shorts talks a little more about the frequency of it. Hope this helps!
@@SchizoKitzo It does, thanks :-) I am hallucinating again, but fortunately I know it's not real.
Hyper mania is the best time Ever 😊😢
Do you take both an antipsychotic and a mood stabilizer daily without missing a day as preventative? I’m helping a relative with Schizoaffective.
Yup and I am entirely med compliant and always have been.
♥️
All the people you meet in this life, always telling you that they want the best for you, always being disappointed of your lack of cooperation. You should be more like this, you should be more like that, you should do this, you should do that, this is good for you, this is bad for you. Stuff like that. What do you think they want? Are they all saints, only wanting you to succeed in life because their souls are full of divine light? That would be a sight to be seen. Are we traveling thru this life being surrounded by all sorts of Jesus Christs, all point a finger at us and telling us that we are the chosen one? That God expects great things of us, but we must work a little harder to get it? Could be, who knows?
I am sorry that the only time you feel you need to pray is when you are having a psychotic episode. I am very sorry that religion has become a bad thing for you. 😢
Religiosity is a common psychosis. So much so, that when I was diagnosed as having psychosis my doctor asked me to step away from religious activity to check if it's a problem. But then I grew up with religious practices able to be almost entirely about community, not as much focus on deity, so it was pretty easy.
I have friends who struggle so much, especially with extremes: talking to deity as an equal to banished to hell for the worst punishment. One person I love starts to talk to deity and is sent to stop demons, as well as other things. I once found him praying away demons next to my newborn's crib. It's scary. He is now more accepting when people tell him it's psychosis, and is willing to go to the psych ward without a fight.
I personally became an atheist when I was put on antipsychotics. I can't believe in anything that doesn't make logical sense and can't be proven, to a degree of proven*. Interestingly it's gotten me more into the philosophy of the religion I was raised in, because thought experiments are not expected to be true.
*I believe that the sun will rise because it is an almost certainty based on past behaviour. The other option is for it to go nova, and all science points to that being billions of years in the future.
I wonder if meditation and compassion spiritual practices would be supportive either risk of being taken over by a man made religious god 💫🙏🏽
Kit, have you ever had your I.Q tested? I have an I.Q of approximately 115, and you make me feel dumb sometimes. Beauty and brains, you have it all blue haired fairy. Tomorrow is my birthday, and all I wish for is to meet you in person someday. Have a wonderful day. 😊❤😊
Me 2❤😊😅😢😢❤
Psycho-Mania!!!
You're using contact lenses...and glasses 👍😏
lol I love it when someone notices! I love the look of glasses but hate the glare from lights in vids 😎
I am a host to an ancient and wise spiritual entity and I can help you with your problem. Please feel free to ask me anything and I shall enlighten you with the Truth.
First here
Lol this 1 2 shi
just spent 30 minutes talking to no one
Were you talking to your hallucination?? You had a conversation??
And what did you talk about??
ha ha CIA
Do you support Donald Trump for president, or do you support Kamala Harris? I wonder if your disorder affects your political opinions at all?
This is sounding TOO FAMILIAR
6:50 It's Jesus calling for you. I'll pray for you in the next few hours, an angel will be bound to you. You need to pray as well though, say the prayer I gave you when you hear the voices.
Be wary, any spirit which will give you visions of death of your family or negative things like that can only be demonic. If an angel of God comes to you ; it can only be positive. People who experience the Holy Spirit feel warm, safe and secure.