Number one non-negotiable: don't leave overnight guests unattended. I work from home and I find it so distracting knowing that a stranger is just hanging about next door.
@@Mariannepiano I feel like its okay for bf/gf if it is discussed with everyone. I feel like more than two days becomes uncomfortable because now the bf/gf using the house's soaps, food, and other things the house pays for. One roomie's bf is still a stranger to the other roomies. Of course there's some naunce to it too.
Hey Khristina, I meant to apologies about staying a tad bit longer. It was awkward for me too and then I did not know if I should stay unattended in the next door room until your roomate came back and greeted me out or if i should have sprint out the door praying we didn't see one another. P.S. I had to pee really bad the whole time too.
Moving in with my best friend of 15 years completely destroyed our friendship. Haven't spoken to her in almost 10 years now. 😐 Think twice before moving in with close friends.
The issue I had with my roommate is he leaves no personal boundary. I like to leave my door open, but he would literally walked in every 20 mins to talk or something. When I leave my door closed, he would knock and then walk in even I said I was doing other things. It’s really getting frustrating for me cuz there are moments that I just don’t want to talk or just want to leave myself alone after a whole day of school.
That’s an uncomfortable one because I’m sure you don’t want to offend him or hurt his feelings! I would have a conversation with him and explain that you really need alone time during the day. Maybe tell him that you will leave the door open when you’re open to having conversations but will close the door when you only should be interrupted for an emergency. Hope you’re able to set that boundary!💜
He could be my roommate lol. I could rent a small studio and be alone but I preferred to start looking for 1-2 roommates to share an apartment. I love my alone time but I also need sociability, so I like the idea of sharing a living space with someone, as it's kind of sharing a big portion of life with them. But I do get it's not for everyone
4:19 this is advice I've been needing my whole life. At work, with friends, everywhere. Sounds like a great way to address a problem, but I never thought of it. Thank you!
Did you do it?! I’ve been offered to live with two of my cousins I just recently got close to. I’ve heard so many horror stories as to rooming together I don’t want to ruin the bond and relationship we’ve built!
@@BitchItsAle Unfortunately, I decided not to after one of them made me uncomfortable :( I wish u luck, though! I’d make sure you’re completely comfortable/okay with living with them. I was fortunate enough my (ex) friend showed me how he was before I made any final decisions.
I will go broke before I ever have room mates again. The main issue i notice with room mates is different levels of cleanliness and chores. Some ppl are OCD clean and others don’t care. I always cleaned up after myself but my room mate was annoyed with me and other one that we didn’t clean base boards or do deep cleans on the common areas on a weekly basis. The issues I had was boyfriends who were there more than I was (including when their gf wasn’t even home) showering there, cooking, watching tv all day then when the utility bills come wanted to split it equally 3 ways. These conversations are vital to have before living with ppl.
Perhaps specific chore assignments would be better. Someone who doesn't clean well could be assigned a different PERMANENT duty, such as taking the garbage out and mowing the lawn. Assign permanent specific duties that they/each can do and/or understand. (I got this idea from another person's video.)
*don't beat yourself up* thank youuuu. omg. I'm about to move in with roommates for the first time and I am so scared. But I remember that if it doesn't work out that I can simply learn and move on :) ahh thanks
My very best roommates have been my close friends. Whenever I hear people say that living with friends ruined their friendship, I think that their friendship issues were just brought to light by spending more time together. Not trying to invalidate anyone’s experience, but if you have a healthy communication with your friends, living together can be so awesome !
Specific chore assignments, an idea I got from another person's video, tackles one dilemma that everyone seems to have. A roommate who doesn't clean well could be assigned the PERMANENT duty of taking the garbage out and/or mowing the lawn. Assign permanent job duties (except for, of course, dishes and laundry); specific duties that they/each can do and/or understand.
Living with (a) roommate(s) is soooooooo freaking frustrating indeed. We are the complete opposite and what I consider basics things to do and not to do when living with others (cleaning up, not being noisy at night from at least midnight to 6 AM...) is not to my roommate. I am holding a lot in because there are so many things not right but not worthy to talk about but whenever I try to say something immediately it is taken the wrong way and start to yell. Really WTF !!! Doing a list is not even possible and so is communication. Some people are simply not meant to live with others. My roommate is constantly having a hard time so when is the right timing, I never know. SOOo tired but thankfully I am moving out soon.
I hear you! Some people really just aren’t meant to live with others and it sounds like your roommate is one of them. Glad to hear you’re moving out soon xx
this was so helpful, about to live with my 2 best friends from high school because rent is absolutely kicking my ass living alone. Awesome tips and insight thank you!
Pretty good points for most people. I dislike it a lot when I'm the only one taking trash out. And I don't mind if there are less than 15 dishes in the sink for 24 hours or less.
I was clear when I moved in that a weekly cleaning schedule was important to me and they said that was fine and they already had one, but when I got there they basically didn't do any real cleaning (they had a schedule that they didn't follow, and they only clean up acute messes/spills). When I tried to talk about it one of them got angry and said she can't clean because she's working full time (like all of us, basically). I had a calm conversation with her where she ended up saying she did want things clean-ish but that she couldn't do it as often as I did. However, six weeks later she hasn't done anything at all, and now I'm worried about asking her about it because she's so aggressive. (I have three roommates: one is her good friend and also doesn't clean, but the third is good.) I can't move out for financial and housing availability reasons. Any tips?
That’s a hard one.. if they aren’t willing to discuss it and actually change then I would try to focus on working with them to clean up their own individual messes. Unfortunately you may be working with the other good roommate to clean together. I had a year with some roommates who didn’t follow the cleaning schedule well and found it a lot easier for me personally to just clean things myself. I was tired of confrontation and actually found some peace from just cleaning things myself and not having to continually have hard convos. It’s not the best solution but maybe one you can get through until the end of your current lease! Good luck❤️
I hate confrontation and I can totally relate. I have suggested hiring a cleaner for everyone to pitch in and have a rota for taking out the bins for bin day and since then, they've been more thorough. Good luck!
@@dm3144 ha ha! I'm about to take on a roommate I've never met - really as a favor to a mutual friend that we share - and I'm scared to death! I'm an only child and like she says in the video I'm "very particular" 😆 I'm basically just doing this because I see it as an opportunity to grow and challenge myself and learn about myself... But I'm watching all the videos like this to allow me to clearly set expectations from the outset. Honestly I'm probably going to scare this dude off, which won't really hurt my feelings at all, and I'll be able to say I have it a shot!
I just bought my condo and I was hesitating to someone who asked me to be my roommate; I didn’t know where to start but after watching your videos I think I will figure it out how to make things work for us. Thank you for your advising and you’re very skilled with on explanation
Yesss thank you. This is so helpful. I like the bit about a common place is a happy place. I try my best to be in a decent mood when I get back to my aparemt
This video was so useful and you are so kind and beautiful. Such good talking points and the most "real" video out there I've seen. Been nervous to move out and I basically need roommates to afford rent, so this was much needed. Thank you! Also my total non-negotiable is exactly what you mentioned in the video, shared spaces are happy spaces. My first college roommate always used up half the living space and I refused to do the same. It's a "space", not a storage area or a "this side's mine" deal.
Awe thank you so much Simone🥺 that was such a sweet comment! I’m so glad it was helpful for you❤️ good luck with the move and hope you find wonderful roommates! Yes!! Shared spaces are happy spaces is such an important one
I plan to roommate with four people I know and even though I made rules where is fair and easy for everyone I thought it would be nice to seek out for a bit more advice just incase
@@PaigeWestCo had a talk with my roommate… took all your advise and even wrote it down. She gazed blankly and replied “ I don’t understand, I’m confused “. Long story short, she created a shit load of drama then after living there for 20 years she moved out in 2 hours. Then I received a notice to vacate. The property manager continues to harass me , but I have 30 days to “live in peace”. Thanks for your video 👍✌️
I’m really sorry to hear that! They shouldn’t be forcing you to vacate if the roommate moved out.. not fully understanding the full picture but again super sorry you’re going through that.
@@PaigeWestCo yeah … like I mentioned… just a storm of drama ensued cuz I wanted rights as a tenant. It turned out the room was the only place I could be. It was insidious 🤷🏻♀️✌️
Sadly my flat mate and I just text. We did talk in the beginning but in the last week or so she has decided to avoid me. She told me to take out the garbage and clean the kitchen counters through text and I did. But then she gets annoyed at me because I left a unclean dish in the dishwasher to be cleaned. Then she says to me I've done this a few times when I clean my dishes by hand all the time. She's been a right bitch to me in the last week. I do my part in the apartment. I clean after myself. I wait ages to cook something in the kitchen after she's finnished. I moved into the apartment first for my erasmus then she moved in. She's older then I am I'm 32. I'm sick of her at this stage.
Sorry to hear that Sean.. that’s rough! Maybe you both can discuss some ground rules to follow so there’s less frustration on both ends? Sounds like your expectations may be different. Hoping it gets better for you!💜
I did the roomate thing at 19 it was cool but u gotta live by the owners rules. As an adult now i dont wanna do it, i domt even like my lady to stay past 2 days before i need my alone time. Speaking of that i like her to walk around in skimpy stuff n u cant do that with a roomie. I also like the quietness of coming home and not hearing anyone. Idk i guess everyone is different, i know people who cant handle being alone. I imagine the worst is having to be social or act social when u come across ur roomie in the kitchen or something but you're not in a talkative mood or having to deal with them being loud etc...
I’ve roommates most of my life, and I’ve come to realize that my one non negotiable would be to love other introverts who don’t necessarily want to be friends/have movie nights/talk, etc. Needy roommates are the kids sofndeath for me 😕
I am a premed at a competitive university. I have a roommate but she can be rude at times. When she’s in the dorm, she leaves her side very messy and the times that I leave my side messy when I’m under a lot of stress, she tries to go in on me. I own up to where I’m wrong but there have been times where the whole room would smell from her sneakers or she would leave a ton of hair strands in the shower. Sometimes bringing over random people unexpectedly or constantly forget her keys and having to compromise to leave the door open ( not always the safest ). Sometimes, would leave food out. Also, she would say micro aggressions whenever being under a-lot of stress with work. I was nice but direct that we both had to do better and make an excel sheet in order for us to not have an issue again. I think that accountability is important because all of us have flaws. But being upfront and honest with your roommate to avoid conflict is key. Some people will try to make you feel guilty but not equally own up to where they need to make progress. Again, I am not a perfect roommate and even apologized but it’s sad that I had to dorm with someone who never took accountability and was so quick to criticize while making the same mistakes may be even worse while staying in the room.
Thank you very much for sharing your tips! 😃😃I come to this video, it's because every time when it's my roommate's turn to clean, it took her a few days to clean up, one day mobbing the floor, the anther day cleaning the bathroom, one day cleaning the kitchen. I was annoyed by this split cleaning habit. We didn't share a big house. even just a two minutes of cleaning kitchen floor (it's less than 2 square meter), she would leave it to the next day... It doesn't sound like a big problem, So I wonder what I can do.
I have a dorm mate who’s just self absorbed. She doesn’t communicate, she’ll go home for the weekend without saying anything about how long, if she’s bringing anyone in when she comes back, whatever. She’ll give me like a 1 minute heads up text for guests, and has let a whole middle aged man into our room while I was fresh out of the shower changing. I try to say hi/bye, and let her know when I’m leaving for most of a day, have conversations, but she’s a brick wall. I’m also generally a really clumsy person and I have accidentally hurt myself so many times and I’ll be cursing and bleeding and she just 😒 at me and go back to her tv show or her 7th phone call of the hour. Which sucks because you can’t set rules about your roommate not caring.
That’s the most frustrating combination! Especially for the person who cares! I suggest trying to come to a compromise that works for you both… good luck!💜
Just because your setting the expectations doesn't mean they're going to follow it. Now in this case your hiring a room mate so this makes sense yet if your family or whatever and you've down graded to room mate then they may not follow what you want they're not under an obligation to follow your rules if you're not hiring them to be that room mate.
I will never live with people who have animals ever again. I have always taken care of my animals, dogs, cats, etc. But this girl just doesn’t clean her cats litterbox so her solution was to put another one. So now we have 2 dirty smelly litterboxes. And she put a water dish for her cats on the dinner table. Fuck that. I’m getting a table, electric stove and a mini fridge for my room now. And I’ll never have a cat again no matter how cute. Her cats poop when the boxes are dirty all around the house. Am I being unreasonable asking her to clean up the boxes? I don’t think so! She’s so messy and dirty but my lease is for 6 months.
That’s so frustrating! I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I would try to talk with her if you haven’t already and tell her how you feel! Otherwise, at least the lease is only 6 months! Good luck💕
I am medical student and my roommate bring his girlfriend and sit togather for 6 to 8 hour in room and my bed and his bed face paralle to it and and its very diffult to study while someone unknown sitting in front of me mannage with it
My roomate and her neighbour friend are very close they both share their food and stuff and talk in my room sometimes making me feel like third wheel and they make me feel like stupid sometimes, i feel like they are dominating, when i close the door her friend keep blaming me for that why don't you let your door open as she visits my roommate because they are friend...
Great video and tips. I found an apartment 2 other girls live there and there is only 1 bathroom. I will be moving in with a 1 year old baby. My biggest concern is how do I know if my son an I will be safe? Background checks or do I just move in without it? Any tips for a single mom moving in with 2 other roommates?
I like your number 7. Im constantly reminding myself its not forever. roomates come and go. FYI- I just put plastic down in my kitchen vs. constantly cleaning. Looks like a kill room- but hey, its not forever.
I’m so sorry to hear that! I would either try to find a sublease to take your place and move elsewhere or start planning for where you will move next when your lease ends. I know it can be tough but just remember your worth and don’t let her change that❤️
The non negotiable is absolutely no abusive language, gaslighting, intimidations, dominance and controlling behaviors nothing worse than moodiness and aggression from a roommate. No drugs, alcohol and parties, no over night guests, cleanliness is a must, and using your personal time to dump on us not acceptable. Pull your weight and if you give your time to help them In a favor don't like light housework gardening and unpacking moving furniture be courteous and respectful and appreciate them, don't use people.
How to deal with that roommate.. She talks a lot at night.. Coz she has a bf. And i love to read.. And she disturbs me a lot... How can i deal with that shiiiitttt.... 😖😖😖😖
See I'm not selfish but some things I can't share not matter what .... Like skin care products because I use them every day I can't let someone use that. Clothes I literally hate hate when someone asks for any of my pretty clothes... Doesn't matter even tho they're old !!! Idk how but clothes feels so personal to me ... They have my smell and all ... I just couldn't gave them to anyone. My dad buys all clothes for me so they're special for me ... I can't share them . Also mine roommate is miser ... She never buys anything she uses others things shamelessly.. Atleast ask before taking anything for me . After using she just leaves it anywhere. If something doesn't belong to you then you should take care of it and return it . Uh I'm tired of these roommate.. I now have to make boundaries.
Oh my gosh! Get out of the F bathroom!! Three girls to one bathroom and we have one roommate who constantly commandeers the bathroom for at least an hour or more when taking a shower. Of course this happens either late at night or early in the morning when people also want to grab a shower or worse, people need to go to the bathroom!! Soooo F frustrating!! Let’s also talk about roommates who never buy shared supplies like paper towels, trash bags, plastic wrap, etc. Don’t use those supplies if you’re not going to help buy more!! Nobody has the money to be paying for you too! If we had that kind of money, we wouldn’t be renting and dimming with others! Pay your own way and do your part! Also, don’t hog the whole Dmnd refrigerator and kitchen!!
Living with egotistical people is such a headache. Everyone is just out here too get something from you. But not respecting boundary. If you feel I'm a threat but start abusing me. That is really hypocritical. My best advice is never living with people who use to live in the ghetto. Avoid avoid avoid.
Ill give you a big piece of advice. Dont "Quite Quit" your job. Dont be a fad follower. Work hard, dont waste your money on stupid things like Starbucks, tattoos, piercings and eating out everyday and youll be able to afford YOUR OWN PLACE! Better yet, graduate, get a job, stay at home with your folks to save money and START YOUR OWN LEGIT BUSINESS not walking dogs.
Number one non-negotiable: don't leave overnight guests unattended. I work from home and I find it so distracting knowing that a stranger is just hanging about next door.
Omg yes!!! That’s so uncomfortable😓
Same for me but What about when its girlfriend/boyfriend?
@@Mariannepiano I feel like its okay for bf/gf if it is discussed with everyone. I feel like more than two days becomes uncomfortable because now the bf/gf using the house's soaps, food, and other things the house pays for. One roomie's bf is still a stranger to the other roomies. Of course there's some naunce to it too.
Hey Khristina, I meant to apologies about staying a tad bit longer. It was awkward for me too and then I did not know if I should stay unattended in the next door room until your roomate came back and greeted me out or if i should have sprint out the door praying we didn't see one another. P.S. I had to pee really bad the whole time too.
@@Mariannepiano that bf can be a serial rapist
Moving in with my best friend of 15 years completely destroyed our friendship. Haven't spoken to her in almost 10 years now. 😐 Think twice before moving in with close friends.
I’m so sorry to hear that😓
@@PaigeWestCo Oh it's alright. ☺️ I have friends that actually suit my personality much better now! It all worked out in the end ❤️
Awe so glad to hear that!! I’ve also lost a friend after living with them.. your comment is definitely good advice😅 thank you for sharing❤️
True i’m going true this never move with friends
The non negotiable thing for me is respect
The aesthetic here is immaculate
Indigo Anne omg thank you😭💕
The issue I had with my roommate is he leaves no personal boundary. I like to leave my door open, but he would literally walked in every 20 mins to talk or something. When I leave my door closed, he would knock and then walk in even I said I was doing other things. It’s really getting frustrating for me cuz there are moments that I just don’t want to talk or just want to leave myself alone after a whole day of school.
That’s an uncomfortable one because I’m sure you don’t want to offend him or hurt his feelings! I would have a conversation with him and explain that you really need alone time during the day. Maybe tell him that you will leave the door open when you’re open to having conversations but will close the door when you only should be interrupted for an emergency. Hope you’re able to set that boundary!💜
He could be my roommate lol. I could rent a small studio and be alone but I preferred to start looking for 1-2 roommates to share an apartment. I love my alone time but I also need sociability, so I like the idea of sharing a living space with someone, as it's kind of sharing a big portion of life with them. But I do get it's not for everyone
4:19 this is advice I've been needing my whole life. At work, with friends, everywhere. Sounds like a great way to address a problem, but I never thought of it. Thank you!
Mari I’m so glad I could help!💕
I’ve just been given an opportunity to move in with a friend and I am now proceeding to watch so many of these videos, thank you so much!
You’re soso welcome! That’s so exciting!
Me too! I'm getting more nervous as I watch more and more!
Did you do it?! I’ve been offered to live with two of my cousins I just recently got close to. I’ve heard so many horror stories as to rooming together I don’t want to ruin the bond and relationship we’ve built!
@@BitchItsAle Unfortunately, I decided not to after one of them made me uncomfortable :( I wish u luck, though!
I’d make sure you’re completely comfortable/okay with living with them. I was fortunate enough my (ex) friend showed me how he was before I made any final decisions.
I will go broke before I ever have room mates again. The main issue i notice with room mates is different levels of cleanliness and chores. Some ppl are OCD clean and others don’t care. I always cleaned up after myself but my room mate was annoyed with me and other one that we didn’t clean base boards or do deep cleans on the common areas on a weekly basis.
The issues I had was boyfriends who were there more than I was (including when their gf wasn’t even home) showering there, cooking, watching tv all day then when the utility bills come wanted to split it equally 3 ways.
These conversations are vital to have before living with ppl.
I’m with you!! Roommates are so difficult to navigate.. definitely finding someone with the same opinion on what’s “clean” is key😅
Perhaps specific chore assignments would be better. Someone who doesn't clean well could be assigned a different PERMANENT duty, such as taking the garbage out and mowing the lawn. Assign permanent specific duties that they/each can do and/or understand. (I got this idea from another person's video.)
@@KeepMoving4wrdthat’s a great idea
*don't beat yourself up* thank youuuu. omg. I'm about to move in with roommates for the first time and I am so scared. But I remember that if it doesn't work out that I can simply learn and move on :) ahh thanks
So glad it was helpful!! Good luck with the move! I’m sure it will be fine💕
verry informative. i feel like i was in a therapy session. thank you
XT you’re so welcome!
Me literally every vid I watch of hers 😩😩😩 #freetherapy
Yooo IKR? SO GOoOD
My very best roommates have been my close friends. Whenever I hear people say that living with friends ruined their friendship, I think that their friendship issues were just brought to light by spending more time together. Not trying to invalidate anyone’s experience, but if you have a healthy communication with your friends, living together can be so awesome !
Specific chore assignments, an idea I got from another person's video, tackles one dilemma that everyone seems to have. A roommate who doesn't clean well could be assigned the PERMANENT duty of taking the garbage out and/or mowing the lawn. Assign permanent job duties (except for, of course, dishes and laundry); specific duties that they/each can do and/or understand.
Living with (a) roommate(s) is soooooooo freaking frustrating indeed. We are the complete opposite and what I consider basics things to do and not to do when living with others (cleaning up, not being noisy at night from at least midnight to 6 AM...) is not to my roommate. I am holding a lot in because there are so many things not right but not worthy to talk about but whenever I try to say something immediately it is taken the wrong way and start to yell. Really WTF !!! Doing a list is not even possible and so is communication. Some people are simply not meant to live with others. My roommate is constantly having a hard time so when is the right timing, I never know. SOOo tired but thankfully I am moving out soon.
I hear you! Some people really just aren’t meant to live with others and it sounds like your roommate is one of them. Glad to hear you’re moving out soon xx
omg this is exactly what im going through rn 😩
Great content, I needed this !
Glad to hear it :)
I'm moving in with my best friend next year and needed to hear tips that we can apply and this was very helpful. Thank you!
So glad it was helpful!🥰 That’s so exciting!
How did it go?
I couldn't live with a messy roommate or a mean one
It’s definitely not ideal😅
I am your worst nightmare then
this was so helpful, about to live with my 2 best friends from high school because rent is absolutely kicking my ass living alone. Awesome tips and insight thank you!
Pretty good points for most people. I dislike it a lot when I'm the only one taking trash out. And I don't mind if there are less than 15 dishes in the sink for 24 hours or less.
You can get an AMEN to that one brother
I'm the opposite 💀
I was clear when I moved in that a weekly cleaning schedule was important to me and they said that was fine and they already had one, but when I got there they basically didn't do any real cleaning (they had a schedule that they didn't follow, and they only clean up acute messes/spills). When I tried to talk about it one of them got angry and said she can't clean because she's working full time (like all of us, basically). I had a calm conversation with her where she ended up saying she did want things clean-ish but that she couldn't do it as often as I did. However, six weeks later she hasn't done anything at all, and now I'm worried about asking her about it because she's so aggressive. (I have three roommates: one is her good friend and also doesn't clean, but the third is good.) I can't move out for financial and housing availability reasons. Any tips?
That’s a hard one.. if they aren’t willing to discuss it and actually change then I would try to focus on working with them to clean up their own individual messes. Unfortunately you may be working with the other good roommate to clean together. I had a year with some roommates who didn’t follow the cleaning schedule well and found it a lot easier for me personally to just clean things myself. I was tired of confrontation and actually found some peace from just cleaning things myself and not having to continually have hard convos. It’s not the best solution but maybe one you can get through until the end of your current lease! Good luck❤️
I hate confrontation and I can totally relate. I have suggested hiring a cleaner for everyone to pitch in and have a rota for taking out the bins for bin day and since then, they've been more thorough. Good luck!
All I have to say is … I will never live with roommates again. Mark my word.
When I signed my lease, I signed a trip to hell.
Not worth it ✌️
@@dm3144 ha ha! I'm about to take on a roommate I've never met - really as a favor to a mutual friend that we share - and I'm scared to death! I'm an only child and like she says in the video I'm "very particular" 😆 I'm basically just doing this because I see it as an opportunity to grow and challenge myself and learn about myself... But I'm watching all the videos like this to allow me to clearly set expectations from the outset. Honestly I'm probably going to scare this dude off, which won't really hurt my feelings at all, and I'll be able to say I have it a shot!
Hey, how'd it go?
I just bought my condo and I was hesitating to someone who asked me to be my roommate; I didn’t know where to start but after watching your videos I think I will figure it out how to make things work for us. Thank you for your advising and you’re very skilled with on explanation
That’s great to hear! I’m so glad it was helpful for you. Good luck 😊
Did it work out?!
Yesss thank you. This is so helpful. I like the bit about a common place is a happy place. I try my best to be in a decent mood when I get back to my aparemt
So glad it was helpful Travis!!
This video was so useful and you are so kind and beautiful. Such good talking points and the most "real" video out there I've seen. Been nervous to move out and I basically need roommates to afford rent, so this was much needed. Thank you! Also my total non-negotiable is exactly what you mentioned in the video, shared spaces are happy spaces. My first college roommate always used up half the living space and I refused to do the same. It's a "space", not a storage area or a "this side's mine" deal.
Awe thank you so much Simone🥺 that was such a sweet comment! I’m so glad it was helpful for you❤️ good luck with the move and hope you find wonderful roommates! Yes!! Shared spaces are happy spaces is such an important one
Sending this to my roommate...
Honestly this advice can be extended to how to properly communicate your needs to other people!!!
So true!! Definitely useful in all relationships❤️
I like you girl. You're ON it! Def subbing!
You’re the sweetest😭💕
chill video, appreciate the tips, also ur outfit is cool
Sezzy Bear thank you so much!
Hell yeah it is
Dude this is so good! Thanks
I plan to roommate with four people I know and even though I made rules where is fair and easy for everyone I thought it would be nice to seek out for a bit more advice just incase
Having the initial thought to set up some ground rules is so important! Starting with good intentions is key! Good luck☺️
I plan on doing the same. what kind of rules did you come up with??
Thank you Paige … I’m 65 and found this very informative! I’m looking for my own lace !
You’re so welcome! I’m glad it was helpful for you😊
@@PaigeWestCo had a talk with my roommate… took all your advise and even wrote it down. She gazed blankly and replied “ I don’t understand, I’m confused “.
Long story short, she created a shit load of drama then after living there for 20 years she moved out in 2 hours. Then I received a notice to vacate. The property manager continues to harass me , but I have 30 days to “live in peace”.
Thanks for your video 👍✌️
@@PaigeWestCo this is a true story…
I’m really sorry to hear that! They shouldn’t be forcing you to vacate if the roommate moved out.. not fully understanding the full picture but again super sorry you’re going through that.
@@PaigeWestCo yeah … like I mentioned… just a storm of drama ensued cuz I wanted rights as a tenant.
It turned out the room was the only place I could be. It was insidious 🤷🏻♀️✌️
Sadly my flat mate and I just text. We did talk in the beginning but in the last week or so she has decided to avoid me. She told me to take out the garbage and clean the kitchen counters through text and I did. But then she gets annoyed at me because I left a unclean dish in the dishwasher to be cleaned. Then she says to me I've done this a few times when I clean my dishes by hand all the time. She's been a right bitch to me in the last week. I do my part in the apartment. I clean after myself. I wait ages to cook something in the kitchen after she's finnished. I moved into the apartment first for my erasmus then she moved in. She's older then I am I'm 32. I'm sick of her at this stage.
Sorry to hear that Sean.. that’s rough! Maybe you both can discuss some ground rules to follow so there’s less frustration on both ends? Sounds like your expectations may be different. Hoping it gets better for you!💜
I did the roomate thing at 19 it was cool but u gotta live by the owners rules. As an adult now i dont wanna do it, i domt even like my lady to stay past 2 days before i need my alone time. Speaking of that i like her to walk around in skimpy stuff n u cant do that with a roomie. I also like the quietness of coming home and not hearing anyone. Idk i guess everyone is different, i know people who cant handle being alone. I imagine the worst is having to be social or act social when u come across ur roomie in the kitchen or something but you're not in a talkative mood or having to deal with them being loud etc...
Really really great tips!! Well done!!!
So glad you enjoyed !🥰
I’ve roommates most of my life, and I’ve come to realize that my one non negotiable would be to love other introverts who don’t necessarily want to be friends/have movie nights/talk, etc. Needy roommates are the kids sofndeath for me 😕
Love this. Thank you!
You’re so welcome!
I am a premed at a competitive university. I have a roommate but she can be rude at times. When she’s in the dorm, she leaves her side very messy and the times that I leave my side messy when I’m under a lot of stress, she tries to go in on me. I own up to where I’m wrong but there have been times where the whole room would smell from her sneakers or she would leave a ton of hair strands in the shower. Sometimes bringing over random people unexpectedly or constantly forget her keys and having to compromise to leave the door open ( not always the safest ). Sometimes, would leave food out. Also, she would say micro aggressions whenever being under a-lot of stress with work. I was nice but direct that we both had to do better and make an excel sheet in order for us to not have an issue again. I think that accountability is important because all of us have flaws. But being upfront and honest with your roommate to avoid conflict is key. Some people will try to make you feel guilty but not equally own up to where they need to make progress. Again, I am not a perfect roommate and even apologized but it’s sad that I had to dorm with someone who never took accountability and was so quick to criticize while making the same mistakes may be even worse while staying in the room.
Fantastic advice, thank you.
You’re so welcome!!
Thank you Paige.... This was really helpful
No problem! Glad it was helpful😊
I do not clean for other people after they disrespect me lmao fuck that
Thank you very much for sharing your tips! 😃😃I come to this video, it's because every time when it's my roommate's turn to clean, it took her a few days to clean up, one day mobbing the floor, the anther day cleaning the bathroom, one day cleaning the kitchen. I was annoyed by this split cleaning habit. We didn't share a big house. even just a two minutes of cleaning kitchen floor (it's less than 2 square meter), she would leave it to the next day... It doesn't sound like a big problem, So I wonder what I can do.
Liked your video, by the way. Thanks.
I have a dorm mate who’s just self absorbed. She doesn’t communicate, she’ll go home for the weekend without saying anything about how long, if she’s bringing anyone in when she comes back, whatever. She’ll give me like a 1 minute heads up text for guests, and has let a whole middle aged man into our room while I was fresh out of the shower changing. I try to say hi/bye, and let her know when I’m leaving for most of a day, have conversations, but she’s a brick wall. I’m also generally a really clumsy person and I have accidentally hurt myself so many times and I’ll be cursing and bleeding and she just 😒 at me and go back to her tv show or her 7th phone call of the hour. Which sucks because you can’t set rules about your roommate not caring.
My roommate and I are opposites in the sense of cleanliness. He doesn’t care worth a damn and I care way too much. ....🙁
That’s the most frustrating combination! Especially for the person who cares! I suggest trying to come to a compromise that works for you both… good luck!💜
Thanks a lot!
That was great
You’re so welcome!😊
Just because your setting the expectations doesn't mean they're going to follow it. Now in this case your hiring a room mate so this makes sense yet if your family or whatever and you've down graded to room mate then they may not follow what you want they're not under an obligation to follow your rules if you're not hiring them to be that room mate.
This is a great video!!
Thank you🥰
I will never live with people who have animals ever again. I have always taken care of my animals, dogs, cats, etc. But this girl just doesn’t clean her cats litterbox so her solution was to put another one. So now we have 2 dirty smelly litterboxes. And she put a water dish for her cats on the dinner table. Fuck that. I’m getting a table, electric stove and a mini fridge for my room now. And I’ll never have a cat again no matter how cute. Her cats poop when the boxes are dirty all around the house. Am I being unreasonable asking her to clean up the boxes? I don’t think so! She’s so messy and dirty but my lease is for 6 months.
That’s so frustrating! I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I would try to talk with her if you haven’t already and tell her how you feel! Otherwise, at least the lease is only 6 months! Good luck💕
I am medical student and my roommate bring his girlfriend and sit togather for 6 to 8 hour in room and my bed and his bed face paralle to it and and its very diffult to study while someone unknown sitting in front of me mannage with it
@@suzymoon2067 yes
Love this video, so many good tips. This has nothing to do with it, but I love your lipstick shade! Can you please tell me what it is? =)
Thank you!!💕 I’m honestly not entirely sure BUT I think it’s NYX butter lips in the shade root beer float!
i can not deal with people and they problems
Amen Shasheena 😒
Awesome thanks 😊😊
You’re so welcome!
Thank you!
My roomate and her neighbour friend are very close they both share their food and stuff and talk in my room sometimes making me feel like third wheel and they make me feel like stupid sometimes, i feel like they are dominating, when i close the door her friend keep blaming me for that why don't you let your door open as she visits my roommate because they are friend...
Great video and tips. I found an apartment 2 other girls live there and there is only 1 bathroom. I will be moving in with a 1 year old baby. My biggest concern is how do I know if my son an I will be safe? Background checks or do I just move in without it? Any tips for a single mom moving in with 2 other roommates?
Set up a camera in your room
What is a supportive roommate is supposed to do
I'm possibly moving out into an apartment with my friend as roommates. This will be my first time living on my own. Any tips?
I like your number 7. Im constantly reminding myself its not forever. roomates come and go. FYI- I just put plastic down in my kitchen vs. constantly cleaning. Looks like a kill room- but hey, its not forever.
Does or did anybody has experience of living with a senior roomate?
I didn’t have that experience but I’m bumping your comment❤️ hope someone can share their experience!
@@PaigeWestCo I HAVE EXPERIENCE SENIOR ROOMMATE GOOD AND BAD CAN BE MESSY OR CLEAN NOT FREE RENT OR PAY RENT ELC
"You're going to go to bed at 9:00." What?
What about if she think u nothing and she try using you
I’m so sorry to hear that! I would either try to find a sublease to take your place and move elsewhere or start planning for where you will move next when your lease ends. I know it can be tough but just remember your worth and don’t let her change that❤️
The non negotiable is absolutely no abusive language, gaslighting, intimidations, dominance and controlling behaviors nothing worse than moodiness and aggression from a roommate. No drugs, alcohol and parties, no over night guests, cleanliness is a must, and using your personal time to dump on us not acceptable. Pull your weight and if you give your time to help them In a favor don't like light housework gardening and unpacking moving furniture be courteous and respectful and appreciate them, don't use people.
what about roommates and their GF/BF?
How to deal with that roommate.. She talks a lot at night.. Coz she has a bf. And i love to read.. And she disturbs me a lot... How can i deal with that shiiiitttt.... 😖😖😖😖
How r now??😢
See I'm not selfish but some things I can't share not matter what .... Like skin care products because I use them every day I can't let someone use that.
Clothes I literally hate hate when someone asks for any of my pretty clothes... Doesn't matter even tho they're old !!!
Idk how but clothes feels so personal to me ... They have my smell and all ... I just couldn't gave them to anyone.
My dad buys all clothes for me so they're special for me ... I can't share them .
Also mine roommate is miser ... She never buys anything she uses others things shamelessly.. Atleast ask before taking anything for me . After using she just leaves it anywhere. If something doesn't belong to you then you should take care of it and return it .
Uh I'm tired of these roommate.. I now have to make boundaries.
Paige you look like an angel
I only nod at neighbors but roommates I wish were blind mute and deaf. I don't want to talk by the time I get home
My roomates like to invites other people and drink beer, they always ask me to drink but i dont drink.,
Oh my gosh! Get out of the F bathroom!! Three girls to one bathroom and we have one roommate who constantly commandeers the bathroom for at least an hour or more when taking a shower. Of course this happens either late at night or early in the morning when people also want to grab a shower or worse, people need to go to the bathroom!! Soooo F frustrating!!
Let’s also talk about roommates who never buy shared supplies like paper towels, trash bags, plastic wrap, etc. Don’t use those supplies if you’re not going to help buy more!! Nobody has the money to be paying for you too! If we had that kind of money, we wouldn’t be renting and dimming with others! Pay your own way and do your part!
Also, don’t hog the whole Dmnd refrigerator and kitchen!!
wow, I like You!!!
❤❤❤❤❤
OO
If I had a roommate I want to want a roommate stealing or lying to me
LexieDale Grooms22 that’s extremely important!
?
I hate roommates. The inflation has dammed me have 2.one is meek and quiet. Great guy. The other is a nightmare, a retired control freak penny pincher
Living with egotistical people is such a headache. Everyone is just out here too get something from you. But not respecting boundary. If you feel I'm a threat but start abusing me. That is really hypocritical. My best advice is never living with people who use to live in the ghetto. Avoid avoid avoid.
non-negotiable #1: constant negativity.
You have pretty eyes. The end.
Will you run my house!!!
Be quiet and dont leave your rotten dishes in the sink amd look at me like "You gonna do those dishes in the sink" so annoying
Why am I even watching this ??
Lmao me to I’m only 15 and I’m looking at apartments with my friend 😂
@@Poopshuv Saaame
It starts with One
@@yusahara ....Direction?
Bc she’s cute af 🙄
Ill give you a big piece of advice. Dont "Quite Quit" your job. Dont be a fad follower. Work hard, dont waste your money on stupid things like Starbucks, tattoos, piercings and eating out everyday and youll be able to afford YOUR OWN PLACE! Better yet, graduate, get a job, stay at home with your folks to save money and START YOUR OWN LEGIT BUSINESS not walking dogs.