A Nashville Mormon Story: Darian and Jennifer Ellsworth Rogers | Ep. 1912
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- Опубліковано 23 чер 2024
- From basketball dreams deferred to navigating faith crises, Darian and Jennifer Rogers share their journey out of Mormonism and into a new paradigm of parenting. With candid insights about gender roles, sexual shame, and the struggle to find identity beyond the church, this couple offers hope for those questioning their beliefs. Their story of rebellion, conformity, and ultimately forging their own path provides a compelling look at life after Mormonism and raising kids outside of faith and shame.
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At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals.
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Just want to say, bringing Margi to the conversations was one of the greatest decision MS ever made.
I get so excited when I see Margie is on an episode. 😂 Sorry John, love you too but Margie is something special.
I also adore her!!!!
Totally agree! She offers such thoughtful insights to the conversation.
Margi is phenomenal.
Agreed!!❤
Long time listener here. I love the staging around the table. It feels more personal. We get to see all 4 of you in one shot. Great job on keeping the camera varied as well! Thank you!
Agree! 😀👍🏻
Same here. The production of this episode was done very well!
One of the best interviews- Allowing them to take the lead and sit back and listen. Loved it so much I watched it twice❤
I'm a never mormon regular listener. Mormon stories have done so much to help me deconstruct from my charismatic evangelical upbringing and find my own way. It's close enough that I relate but different enough that it didn't offend me years ago when my own shelf was breaking. This is one of my favorite episodes so far. John and Margie are the best interviewers in the whole religious deconstruction space.
know Jes\\ know peace, no Jesus no peace. praying you come to the Gospel of John....amazing
Same with me! Enough unique things about mormonism that it gave me breathing room for my own raw feeling about my experiences, but it rang true enough that I got to digest things I had put away years and years ago.
Same here! I started listening before I realized my own southern baptist/evangelical shelf was breaking. It seemed safe because I thought it was so different. But then I started to see the ways my own scrupulocity was hindering and hurting me. I've listened to so many episodes now and I've healed from my own religious trauma and I so enjoy hearing people's stories.
DITTO
Ditto
I've been watching Mormon Stories for years now. I've never been Mormon and have only met one Mormon in my whole life, so your guess is as good as mine as to why or how I even found you. All this to say, I want to thank you all at Mormon Stories (and just the exmormon community at large) from the bottom of my heart for the work you do. I feel so privileged to be able to enter this sacred space you've all created together and hear these precious stories. It has helped me immensely in my own healing from my fundamentalist-adjacent Baptist background. And now it's helping my mom too. You are bringing love, truth, and light to the world, and the effects will ripple outwards for centuries. I'm confident of that. Allowing people to just tell their stories is so so powerful. Thank you again, and I wish you all love and healing. ❤
@@user-bi5lx3hg2y You may be surprised where you see them.
A few months ago I went to our nearby bbq place for dinner. If i hadn't watched so much of this channel I may not have realized exactly what I was seeing at the next table. Two very clean cut young men, white shirts, dark slacks, sitting with a middle aged, clearly successful man. And there was no father sons vibe at all.
After I finished eating I did approach them and ask if they were missionaries? They happily said yes. As we talked, one told me he was from Utah. You could actually see him puff with pride,. The other one was very proud to be from Idaho. Well this is the very deep South. I asked if they had wanted foreign missions and if so, were they disappointed when they received their call letters? But I immediately made a joke about, but surprise, down here turned out to be foreign after all. They all truly had a deep laugh over that. I told the older gentleman that I bet these elders really appreciated being hosted for dinner. And told the boys to eat up all they could, I'd heard that the pickin's could be slim in missions.
I'm sure they knew I wasn't Mormon but we had at a very pleasant convo and I left before I could be asked if I belonged. This is a very small town with very few Mormons, so that local guy would have known me if I belonged, or had belonged.
So that's my story about coming across Mormons in the wild. I kept it very friendly while having a bit of fun too. I'm positive they were absolutely mystified but too polite maybe to say anything.
Keep your eyes open, you never know.
As a women in her mid 40s, I need to know all about Margie’s and Jennifer’s arm workout routines. 💪
Ha♡
@@EmB-ix9tt I'm pretty sure Margie is a runner. That always did it for me. And horses. So just start a little bit of running and find some horses to groom. 😀
margie looks amazing. Wow.
Just push the against your body
Working on this also!
I love the way you two still look at each other when you tell your story. It’s so sweet and endearing.
“I am most comfortable on the island of misfits. That is my safe space.” Amen, I completely relate.
They are totally neurodivergent!!! Love it. “The same but different”
I have at least 50 UA-cam channels I subscribe to. But Mormon Stories with Dr. John Dehlin has become one of my most cherished and enlightening YT channels I am happy to say.
Although I have never been a Mormon, but as a RN I cared for a number Mormon patients ( in NM ) as a psychiatric nurse so I became curious about the Mormon religion. I recognized many parallels between my Catholic indoctrination and brainwashing as a little child in parochial school and Mormonism.
I left the Catholic Church right after high school graduation.
I have a deeply keen interest in social psychology and cultish religions given my own background with the Catholic cult.
I love the honesty, authenticity, compassion, kindness and enlightening evidence based knowledge that Dr John brings to the table with his high standards of integrity and genuine sincerity and professionalism that he shares on his podcasts without exception.
As a result I look forward to every new podcast episode that Dr. John shares every week. He is a goldmine of insightful information that helps me to better understand why I needed to leave the Catholic Church some 50 years ago. It took me a long time to heal and recover after the Catholics got a hold of my childhood mind and programmed it with their ignorant dogmas.
I am thrilled that Dr Dehlin is supporting the ex Mormon and current Mormon community by shedding Light on things long hidden or covered up.
As the Bible states, “the Truth sets us Free” even though it can be quite inconvenient and even challenging at the times to deal with. Cognitive dissonance can be especially painful at first, but it all inevitably passes once we embrace the Light of Truth. Once we do, we can Shine forth into the outer darkness with the Light of Truth.
This is what I love so much about Mormon Stories. I think there’s a little Mormonism in all of us. There is so much I can relate to in Dr John’s podcasts.
Keep up the Good Work, John!
God indeed works in mysterious ways and one of the ways He’s working is to Wake Us Up through Mormon Stories! There’s never a dull moment on Mormon Stories!
I love Truth as a long time Truth seeker and Mormon Stories is all about drilling down on the falsehood by deconstructing it to reveal and expose the Truth!
🌀
✨☀️✨🌘🌞🌒✨☀️✨
Fantastic comment and I agree with you.
I have considered going back to my old Catholic Church especially after reading and studying the lives of early saints and the oldest Catholic calling of the consecrated Virgin . A good friend of mine took her vows several years ago and dedicates her life to Jesus Christ. She is also a naval officer. I find more comfort there than here although I have not left this LDS church yet...
@@sherielowe4256 👉🏿♥️👈🏽
@@rosemariebennett7213
This came to you for a reason. Not telling you what to do or which direction to go, (I’m not Catholic.) just saying maybe listen to the still small voice. It’s probably God’s.
😊
Beautifully written, Amen!
This couple are so adorable and I love the way the son was so proactive about looking for plan two when he heard the divorce comment.😂
These are two sets of good parents discussing things, that at middle age (out since 2015), I needed to hear-- as a parent and a child. THANK YOU!
I don’t know how I ended up here. But what a great conversation. I know nothing of the Mormon experience. But to hear 4 parents talk so mindful of raising their children and their choices with no shame, so refreshing. It’s not like a liberal hands off, but a well thought out and developed sense of developing those children into good well rounded people.
God bless you all
Awesome people
You don't need to be threatened into raising good kids. My kids turned out wonderfully without the threats of hell and with only one involved parent. I had fewer problems than many of my devout friends.
Oh my God that lady talks so much interrupts everybody she is annoying
@@Chezsey ofc it can be done, and well done to you. I’m not a parent. But was raised by 2. I found this chat and the thought behind the raising of their children outside of the church, to be different to anything I’ve heard from friends or my own experiences. My friends take on parenting is “you just get on with it.” These people are really taking serious time and consideration and consultation about how best to develop those kids into great human beings. I know thats most parents aim, but I often feel life and things get in the way for parents to be really mindful of what’s right for their kids and how best to developed their decision making and responsibilities. But maybe I’m making it sound too simple, I’m not a parent.
You can tell they love each other so much. When either of them are talking they are turned toward them and smiling. So awesome to see.
Mormon Stories is my favourite UA-cam, an im not even mormom.
Absolutely beautiful story- as a 42-year-old mom with an 11 and 13-year olds, I truly appreciated the parenting advice given towards the end of this episode. You two are wonderful- keepin it real and finding better parenting and marriage thru it all. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Glad it was helpful!
I can testify that the relationship with your kids will expand and become much closer when you drop the conditional love, the church creates in your family!!
I live in New Zealand & I’m not a Mormon but I enjoy listening to you both. You both are decent people 🥰🇳🇿
That was a fantastic interview. LDS/nonLDS, it stands on its own as a heartfelt, honest, open dialogue between a husband, wife and concerned friends. Bravo!
Another wonderful group of survivors. What a beautiful family. You are enough just being you. Thamk you for sharing your story. Absolutely love this channel. Power To Survivors!;❤ you are not evil. You are perfect. Margi is so amazing. I hope she felt safe with her, its hard not too. ❤
As a never Mormon, I just want y’all to know that there are a lot of us out here who welcome you. Some of us have come from high demand faiths also.
But one thing we all share in common: fear is no way to enlightenment
And exclusion is not love
OMG I relate to everything she is saying!! Hands down this is the best episode I’ve seen so far. The bit about Mormon influencers… you hit the nail right on the head! Wanting to be seen. I left 8 years ago and just started going to a non denominational church last year. I was actually afraid to start going to church again because I was worried I would be taking on the “religious stress” all over again… it has been the complete opposite. I’ve never felt more peace in my life, more QUIET confidence and for the first time actually having a real relationship with Christ. ❤️
I love this couple. They seem to have done so much work on themselves.
Grateful for Dr. Delin
Two awesome power couples just bouncing ideas back and forth, highly entertaining , thanks for this one
Been waiting for this interview to air!! The Rogers are wonderful!
I started listening to Mormon Stories about 9 months ago and it has been a lifeline for me as it wasn’t until recent that I learned of the church history issues. I love the experiences of these people who have had to go down that same path of pain and the betrayal of the church that we were raised in and spent our lives in devotion to it. I’m not as fortunate to have my husband there with me in my journey and that’s even more difficult. But without these podcasts and others like it I would be lost even more. The light will come and it is. Cults bring this kind of damage to those who leave them
Stay strong!
@@TheInstigator1026thank you! I’m sure trying!
That interview was something else!
I loved seeing the kids at the end
Eeeeyyyyy, fellow Iowan here! It was wonderful to hear your stories today!
I love these life stories and John unfolds them perfectly.
" Certainty kills curiosity." That is a good one to contemplate.
Thanks To Mormon Stories Great Job To You All!!😊❤
Love the Misfit analogy, now I know why I love that story so much and it is my Christmas tree each year.
This couple seems like a COUPLE. They actually love each other. I don't know if I have ever seen this before. It's surprising to me. 😊
It is sad to me that you feel like you’ve never seen a couple that love each other. And even more importantly, like each other.
That makes me sad for you and I hope you find that there are lots and lots of people in the world who like in love each other - romantically and platonically
@@cabrown308I’m sure it meant the authenticity they share! It’s apparent
TOTALLY AGREE! It’s SO rare and beautiful to see (at least from my experience)!
The video and cinematography in this one is awesome!!!
A women’s value is their virginity. Wow. That is so true in the church. It’s like that was all they were made for. She is pretty accurate.
I love the homey setting with the fireplace and the table. It looks so cozy.
I'm just at the beginning of the interview, but when Jennifer said she always felt like an outcast, and she didn't fit in with the Bible belt peers, I had to speak up. I lived in Utah for 32 years as a non mormon due to my husband's career. Raising my 3 children in a setting where they are the outcasts. They are the ones whose parents won't let their kids play with mine. I have so many stories of terrible behavior from adults and their children. I watched my children be crushed and overlooked and told they were going to hell. So I understand how it feels from a mother's point of view. It's happening every day in every neighborhood, and in every school. You are treated like a second class person if you are not mormon.
I moved to Nashville from mormonville/ Utah, and the Christian culture absolutely rejects and isolates if you’re Mormon. I left the church about ten years ago and dove into the Bible Belt because my relationship with Christ was never altered. It was him who set me free. BUT I was shocked at how the Christian culture treated me and my children too. I’ve decided to raise my kids to have a strong relationship with Christ and read their Bible, follow his teachings, and we volunteer at church but there is no “in group” here as well. Same games same mentality. Just another side of the fence. I think if we truly believe and follow him we don’t need all of these rules. It’s just natural and you naturally feel loved and included. Which is what Jesus tried to teach the Pharisees among other things. And I agree, you won’t fit in there either, but then as a Mormon in Utah Inwasnt welcome to that cult as well. Our family wasn’t rich enough and our home was broken so we were outcasts for those reasons.
That's so sad.
I can relate. I grew up in a small Mormon town. My parents are divorced, but my dad was Mormon. I was raised Catholic with my mom. Due to my last name and father, I had close Mormon friends when we were little. However by junior high, they all separated from me, because I was Catholic and of Mexican decent. It was super hurtful. Plus some of my dad’s family wouldn’t even talk to my sisters and I for the same reasons. Although I’ve never been Mormon, I can definitely relate to MS podcast.
@@kelleycoronado9314 It's so hard! There are so many barriers to humanity and genuine love and kindness. I wish people would stop playing all of the games. Can you imagine how beautiful the world would be?
The bit about the youthful shaming I related to and had a good cry listening. 🐳🌈🌸
The very words 'worthiness interview' or even 'worthiness are so damaging. Glad we got out when our kids were young.
I lived in Brentwood for 15 years. My boys graduated from Brentwood High School. After I got divorced I moved off Haywood Lane. So it’s cool hearing from areas I’m from ❤️ I hope y’all got to hang out downtown Nashville!
One of your faithful Never Mo fans. This was a GREAT interview!
I am famous for saying, “Life is a journey.” This couple has had an interesting journey.
It seems Mormonism doesn’t want you to progress beyond the very basics of the Mormon gospel. Get your testimony early and keep it!
I’ve watched a lot of Mormon stories, and this, by far, is my favorite episode. I have so many takeaways from this interview.
Thank you for addressing this ❤ this is my number one concern about leaving and it's something that I feel like my parents will ask about when I finally tell them I've left. My oldest just turned 7 so baptism is on my mind, and I think he's too young to decide, too.
I don’t know you but I celebrate you for gifted parenting! I love that you knew to embolden and empower your children and their friends. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this presentation.
Thank you for sharing their dynamic story. ❤
Love the trailer, introduction ad, John, great job!
LOVED this interview!!! What an amazing story and family. Your kids are adorable❤️
Thank you so much!!
That was a great conversation… loved hearing about the son that was arranging his accommodations after he heard that his parents were going to divorce ! Blessings to this family! ❤️🇨🇦
This is an episode I will listen to over and over again. Thank you ❤️
Very interesting and honest couple. Thx for being this to us.
My husband has stayed by my side!! He’s such a hero!!
I'm in the process of figuring out who I am after leaving the church, and I'm realizing how limited my opportunities were growing up because of how closely my family followed the rules of the church. I used to play volleyball. I loved it. I wasn't great, but I was good. But I knew I couldn't go far with it because in order to play at a high school level, you pretty much needed to also be on a club team and since they competed on Sunday's, it was not even an option. So I quit before I got there. Same with violin- I played in the local orchestra, but the next age level had practice on Sunday, so I couldn't move up from the level I was at. I was not encouraged to pursue my interests. There was only church. I don't think my parents even knew what my interests were. I didn't feel seen. So I'm working to pay attention to my children's unique interests and qualities, and I let them know that I notice and see them. I'm supporting them in what they want to do. (I'm also choosing not to have too many kids so that we can afford to give them that attention and support.) Hearing this being talked about here was super validating to my parenting philosophy, thank you.
"Are the gold plates real" ad playing while watching. Lol
I can relate to this podcast sooo much!!! I did feel that my virginity was my value. 😢
The purity culture has affected my whole life. It has caused so much turmoil in my mind that has affected my marriage. I was afraid to be sexual even after marriage.
Wow. I love this couple. What a love story - honesty and trust and built on fully sharing. Thank you so much for telling your powerful story. You are not wounded birds. You are incredibly nice people who I'd love to be friends with. The church really complicates sections of our lives. You, Darian and Jennifer are such great people. I'm a Mormon who left the church after the church threw me out when I needed it the most in my life. Barely made it thru a suicidal period. Thank you for sharing your very good great love story.
See, that’s what I don’t get. God is love, & that sort of treatment from any church is unacceptable & not at all Godly. That behavior is from “the church,” not God, which hopefully tells you all you need to know.
It is baffling how painful being a member used to be for me. My headaches have stopped since getting away from it.
Love this couple and I ❤❤❤ John & Margi. Great interview - so inspirational and informative!
I played this pre existence game when I was 9! This was in Utah! I also figured out the game and I went to the “celestial room” with cake and pizza, etc. my siblings were in outer darkness in an over heated room with saltines and no water.
Wow! So amazing and hopeful. Thank you for your vulnerability.
When i got to the part about Andrew texting the divorce news to your family, i laughed so hard. And that was not good as I broke some ribs a couple of nights ago. So thanks guys! 😂😂😂
What a lovely couple! Also loved the cinematography! The shot of the table at the end with the chairs facing out was a beautiful touch ❤
Aww it was lovely to see the kids at the end too
I love these two! What a beautiful story.
Me too!
Haha! The part about the kids listening to John Dehlin! Our kids recognize his voice also.
Never Mormon who grew up in slc and something she said connected with me so much about feeling shamed for liking boys. In middle school when I was starting to “date” I remember feeling so shamed by Mormon moms of the guys I was talking to. I remember not understanding why their sons who I felt instigated most of the flirting didn’t get the same attention. I think back to what I was experiencing and it was so innocent. I felt so much shame for any expression of affection.
Excellent interview and love the round table format. FWIW, I was so like Jennifer. Into sports and my career. BYU was a nightmare with few women friends and it stayed the same after graduation. I had nothing in common with women in the church and so much in common with all people outside of the church. Not the reason I left but we are similar. Amazing couple!
This is a beautiful couple. Thank you for sharing your very special story. God bless you and your family.
This was so good and helpful. Thank you for sharing your story.! And, thank you John and Margie, you guys are such good people!!❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
When I lived in Nashville I went to church on Haywood Lane also. This was in the late 60's. Don't remember the Bishop.
YES!! Post this quote as a short!! "They dont leave you when you are struggling. Mormons do." This resonates. I remember my closest friend in my former ward, watching when our bishop committed fraud against our family, and saying sorry but she has to tune it out because the bishop is about to give her husband a calling and she needs to believe he is inspired. So we got shunned in favour of a criminal bishop. 3:13:15
Also...really LOVE the ending, with those lovely adult children who turned out just fine without the cult lol
“We are a breeding ground for toxic relationships” so so true
I love this couple❤
The way he is looking at her while she’s talking is a dream 😍
I love the things that were said in this! The one about his daughters being like 1/10 person in polygamy just said so much! Because that was the one thing that started me on my own journey out
This was such a GOOD episode!!! I love their unconditional love for each other so much - it’s Beautiful. I loved the idea of the Artsy Patriarchal Blessing for each child. I really want to see a sample of each of them😊. I bet they are fantastic- what a treasured idea (unlike a regular P.Blessing). I’m an Artist and would love to create this idea for my kids and grandkids.
Enjoyed the interview. Loved the last five minutes!
This is excellent because they are being so honest.
Another great Mormon Stories! The location thing seems a wonderful addition, looking forward to more like this!
"Certainty kills curiosity." -Jennifer
I loved that!
Also the nobody gets to be My moral authority!!
Thank you for this channel. I have been “reprogramming” from organized religion for several years. The “unstructured” life is very difficult going from the strict structure. Your program and variety of guests has been very helpful. Thank you.
Where do I go to learn when Darian begins a comedy career. We listen to some serious and heavy accounts so I appreciate the levity he brings. He had me rolling at some points. Especailly about being 3 degrees hotter than luke warm. Thanks for sharing their story. It was great to get these points of view.
I don't hear anyone talking about how Joseph Smith's peep stone is a "Tiger Eye" stone used in witchcraft to receive revelations, which is what he did. So, Mormanism was founded by witchcraft.
I lived in Snowflake, AZ and went to school with many Ellsworths. Great interview ❤
Trivial - but does anyone else think Jennifer could be Melissa Gilbert's twin? Uncanny resemblance.
The last 5 mins of this video was such a treat. 🥰❤️
I enjoyed hearing their story. Would have liked to have heard more from Darian.
Agreed.
Hello fellow Ex Hawaii Honolulu Missionary!! There are so many Freemason's in Hawaii! There is a Masonic Temple literally right next to the Honolulu Stake Centre on South Beretania Street. I also had some great chats with an old Freemason man while I was on Kauai. He gifted me a US 2 dollar note and showed me who of the founding fathers were all freemason's that you can find in the back of the 2 dollar note.
Do you have a video that explains the translation of the characters document? Im comfused about this. They are saying its been translated and is directly from the gold plates. I have one foot in the church and one out. This has been a painful experience for me, thank you.
This will will explain it all to you:
ua-cam.com/play/PLxq5opj6GqOB7J1n6pMmdUSezxcLfsced.html&si=LjXiih8jnb8gnwL2
It’s a “breeding ground for narcissism & codependency & toxic relationship” speaks so loudly for me!😢
Your words rang true; I felt the spirit. I still have chills. I'm so glad the church no longer owns or controls my spirituality. Love to you and your family (and to the Dehlins, too.)
I adore John and Morgi working together, haven't watched for a while, never LDS, but love them, pray for all high demand Religion people and love Apologetics. I am a Bible Believer/ non Denominational. 1:05:21
Absolutely wonderful episode. Tried to save it for work but it was too damn good.
I love your channel. Love hearing your content
“You’re responsible for making sure men don’t look at you…” “…that was your job.” “felt shame…” “Don’t be you…”
I SO get this, but for a different reason. I’ve never been Mormon.
On another note, I grew up near where they are, & IMO, that was extremely brave to start a Mormon church where there are zero Mormons. & I was on the other side of it where you never really saw any Mormons unless it was a visit from the 2 boys on bikes. I always admired their discipline, & now that I’ve learned as much as I have about their teachings & the method by which they’re taught, it all makes sense.
In the south (or my part of it anyway) Mormons had the unfortunate reputation of being “cultish.” & I just remember the few Mormons I knew later in life & thinking how disciplined they were about the no caffeine, yet the man I knew was sleeping around. So committed to the lesser of the 2???
But at the same time, there were people in the church where I grew up who were sinning as well. Sin is sin. 🤷🏼♀️
Thank you for sharing your story ❤
This is probably one of my favorite interviews to date.
I want to be their friends so bad.
Darian is so freaking nonchalantly HILARIOUS and I really just want Jenifer to adopt me.
The way they describe their parenting style is SO ME!!!
My husband and I are currently PIMO’s but we let our Junior drink with great communication and trust involved.
Thank you for sharing.
Love from Idaho. ❤
PIMO?
@@annetteherold5514 physicallly in mentally out
Such a good episode thank you! BYU athlete that gave up Stanford & majored in finance & have similar sexist experiences to you. My heart goes out to you! ❤️Thanks for sharing.
Thank you from Germany.
Hello! Listening from Nashville!
Awesome!
BONUS POINTS FOR THE ENDING !
I'm 44 and still can't tell my parents. Does that mean I'm not ready?
So fantastic and inspiring
I totally loved this episode! 💕