If You're Worried You Invest in a Relationship Too Quickly, Watch This... (Matthew Hussey)
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2018
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Do you find yourself always falling for a guy too fast?
You go on a few dates, maybe you end up sleeping with him, and then… you’re totally hooked.
Suddenly, he’s the #1 topic of conversation with you and your friends.
You find yourself constantly wanting to text him. You sit at home wondering what he’s up to. You’re tempted to rush things forward.
Wait. Stop. Relax.
There’s nothing wrong with being a romantic, but you have to be so careful
here to make the right decisions going forward.
If you find your heart always investing in a guy when your head tells you to calm down, here’s the secret to taking back your power...
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“It’s not about removing emotions, it’s about learning to wield them.” pure gold. Thank you Matthew
♡♡
the other day my partner told me "I like to miss you, It's like another feeling I have for you. And then when I finally see you, I feel like I love you more" and I can totally tell :)
This is so cute💕
Need to try this thanks
Love this comment. It's so true and he def. is a keeper, because he seems to be himself around you.
Luv that !!! Missing someone is really the underlying foundation in beginning a new relationship...
I find that really beautiful!
Invest in yourself. Be confident and be the best you. Then sit back and watch the quality fellows come. 😋😛😉😚
Be1smaht doesn’t always work that way! Not the best philosophy my friend
I have been trying to do this in the last three years but where are quality fellows
You nail it! 🤗
Preach
😥😥😥😥😭😢😢😢
Dont trust words... Watch paterns
The funny thing is, i just start getting this experience 😆
"Wise men say, only fools rush in, but i cant help falling in love with you"
Awww! 💜
Oh now I get it 😱
Elvis ❤️
Classic!
Yeah, fuck. Elvis understood us
Emotions: doing what feels good.
Logic: investing to feel good.
I don’t know if anyone will understand this. I’ve noticed that I feel a deep sense of love every time I look at my cat. I think that is partly due to the fact that while at times he will cuddle with me to the point that I want to push him away. Most of the time, he is doing his own thing and doesn’t want to even be disturbed. That’s when I crave a cuddle most. Is this as Mathew suggests here that while he does his own thing, I miss him and respect him more. I know this sounds cat crazy. However, I feel there is something to learn from my Cat.
Alya Saad you’ve definitely learned something about yourself from your interaction with your cat.
I can relate to this, too :)
😂 😂
Op nailed it.
Affection from her cat is valuable... *Because*... It is scarce.
If her car was affectionate all the time... It wouldn't be valuable, and instead she would *feel* like her cat was a leach, who was always asking her for cuddles...
Rather than an independent creature, who would occasionally consent to *provide* cuddles to her.
The same behavior (cuddling) can be seen as a resource or a drain... Based on the scarcity of it.
I have 3 cats ..they are there for me and love me just for me ...
Romance can only develop in the space created. Not when a couple are constantly together. People should be secure enough to spend time apart. Only 10% of your happiness should come from a partner. 90% from you.
I agree, and I will put it further 100 percent from me, 110 percent from him
Yeah. That's why people say "you complete me", not "you make my entire existence" ;)
@@kalokagatija3368 Worst line in cinematic history. No one should complete anyone. Everyone knows this...whether they openly acknowledge it or not. We complete ourselves. The line should have been "You COMPLEMENT me."
Thank you..you are clarifying the clever emotions how to use them to elevate the relationship...isn't it ?
Your comments doesn't make sense,
Ravi Peiris M.D.
I made dinner for two... ate both.
mickeyman that happened to me like 3 times with the same girl, i didn't learn
mickeyman 🤗
Love yourself
mickeyman super funny
mickeyman wise choice
I think I lost guys every time because I flood them with my emotions and love and devotion. lost the guy I really wanted because I choose to be sincere
vintagedesigner Me too. It’s still too early to know if I completely lost him or not but he is ignoring me for the first time since we started dating. It’s only been 24 hours but that is the longest he has ever went not talking so now I feel silly. I did way too much too fast. Back to the drawing board I guess.
Please don't feel like you overwhelmed them. It may just mean they weren't mature enough to handle it. Especially if you backed off based on their signals and didn't continue to bombard them. 💜
@@MrsTruthTeller 24 hours? That seems like hardly anything. Maybe I'm used to being ignored though lol
Omg. I am very sincere lol. But I was ignored. Guess they like hoes. Lol
@@nicandromartinezsotelo7126 sorry buddy. I am a woman
"Some people know how to manage their emotions to make it work for them, and other people work for their emotions" woooooooooo POWERFUL.
Change the word "emotions" to "money" and it still becomes true in finances.
Actually, when you find the right person you will feel calm and will not feel the need to prove you are lovable by investing to much because they will give you a calm feeling of knowing you are loved. Good luck all!
oooh thanks so much for this comment ! I was a little bit annoyed by the "you need to be so independant and be successful and have your passion " blablabla. It seems so overwhelming. Of course no one is attracted by someone who has an empty life but I don't think we need to be SO over-the-top and successful right?
@@auroraborealis6398 Somebody who is "successful" and "independent" probably doesn't care about you or have time for you anyways. I think normal is probably most attractive in the long run. No healthy person needs to asser their independence, they take the steps to preserve it naturally. :) And have no problem giving their time to you.
My ex was like that because of her prior relationship where she lost herself.. now she swung to the polar opposite.
@@hgzmatt yeah, that seems more likely. Because other wise a lot of people would stay single ^^ understandable for your ex, I've seen that a lot in people, even with food or other stuff. They junkfood and then they become extremely healthy for a while, rejecting anything that is not 100% healthy
I like I like
@@auroraborealis6398 yes, totally agree...
I think being emotional and not overthinking the relationship won't ruin a relationship that is willing to work. It will only accelerate the end of the ones who aren't meant to be.
super comment
This is it! Thank you 🙏
That's exactly true! Being pushed to fast when you want to take it slow speeds up the break up
the strongest snd best relationships are the ones where you can talk abt this stuff with your Partner
true!
“Love is when people are together. Desire is created in the distance between people”
Not even in a relationship but still here
Happily married and still here
You’re a smart woman 👍
As a guy who dated many girls, I would say, Invest in yourself. Make yourself a priority (Unless you have children then make them priority). From my experience, I feel unattracted to women who invest so much in me because it kinda show them as needy. Truth hurts yeah but again you girls would be turned off if a guy gives you ALL his attention all day. It's a sign that the guy has no passion, hobby or anything going on for himself other than clinging on you.
10 1001 1010 does that mean that you entertain a lot of other girls and make the one that wants to invest and commit to you feel like she is a joke ??
Very true
No one invests all his/her attention on another person 🤣 unless the person is unemployed and not at school either. When u invest in your partner, u r still investing in yourself l. Cuz relationship is a part of your life. The point is to identify who is not worth investing. For example, guys who prefer girls who just simply dun like them, dun reply them, dun give them attention? 🤣
So basically don't show interest awesome
And this is the mentality of men that I don’t get
I have waited a whole year (almost) before going into a relationship. And for the first time in a loooong time, when I am together with a guy - I can also feel a need to pull back, focus on myself, my future, my goals, my aspirations etc. It is so refreshing and a relief! I am not dependent on this person because I have hobbies and passion for other things as well. I am not even head over heels in him - yet. I am leaning back a little, teying to see what he comes up with, let him take the lead as much as I can and my emotions allow me 😉 After all, a relationship is a two-way street. I am very grateful for your videos Matthew, you always bring something of value to the table. Thank you for that 😇
I do the same! And when I'm with that special person I am the greatest person I can be and that is truly deeply attractive!! But there's an inner force that always keeps your attention coming back to yourself once you learn to love yourself and to take care of you so that you can bring the best to the table when it comes to other relationships.
This is definitely inspirational to me and I hope to achieve this.
I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for 6 years, we live together and I still use this advice to keep the desire alive. We do our own things for work and so on and then it creates that tension for when we see each other next and makes us want to spend some quality 1 on 1 time. Just wanted to make that point that this advice can be useful even after it’s become long term.
Same here with my partner!
How doomed you are 6 years never married
6 years & not engaged or married? Doesn't sound that great to me
@@topkat8268 Not everyone wants or needs to get married though. Marriage isn't the end goal or success measure for all relationships.
@@lunarose9042 It should be…why be in a relationship for 6 years with nothing to show for it? Not a last name, not a child (at least in wedlock), no assets together, let alone not doing it under God’s covenant if they are a believer. That sounds very stressful to me
Keep the mystery, not being needy or too attached. Have your own life.
What you are talking about is insecure attachment. Both men and women would benefit so much by understanding attachment theory and understanding their own attachment style. Without it, it's impossible to break out of self defeating patterns of behaviour in dating and relationships. Amir Levine's 'Attached' is the best resource and entry point to understanding adult attachment.
zeus111 That book changes my life! 🙌 Wholeheartedly recommend it.
Megan Smith yeah it's a pretty important book for the millions of us that identify with it
#MGTOW
what he is talking about I snt insecure attachment- it's premature attachment..or abandoning yourself in favor of the illusion of mutual attachment
Empress_ HighPriestess it's actually anxious attachment
I’m seeing a guy and he’s so nice to me.. I’m not used to this level of gentlemanliness. I watched a lot of your videos and they have helped me to accept that I actually deserve to be treated like an absolute queen. I’m pumping the breaks because he’s a total catch, being honest and vulnerable.. it’s been a total game changer. I refuse to erode the time I spend on myself.. this is new for me.. again.. wow 👌
Thank you for all your insight 😘
@@jjm2948 that's true. He is! He's my king
Dated someone recently who treated me so nice and was such a gentleman that I was blown away by him completely. Even his level of honestly, vulnerability and consideration for my needs was incredible. Dating in today's society has been so emotionally draining because most men don't care at all. It's been an eye opener to be treated with kindness and respect again. This man may not be my forever partner but he will always remain a cherished soul in my life for bringing hope back into my heart. ❤
I am so guilty of all these mistakes, good thing there's people like you that helps us realize this 😕
I feel the same 😅
I love that man. I literally was just in my head on this subject “am I giving too much too fast?” “Is this why it feels like things are slowing down?” And then this popped up in my notifications!! Matthew Hussey the angel genie! 🧞♂️
Blame the social media spionage and algorithms
Joana Sofia Lorça de Oliveira ha! Love it. Just deleted my Snapchat. Holla
I did everything that you said in my first relationship, Matthew. It took me 6 years to realise how much I gave up because of that feeling that this realishionship is all I ever needed. I agree completly on that you shouldn't loose the things that make you YOU.
What I take from this: keep your identity separate as it gives interest to the relationship. The old saying - 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' is now 'distance creates desire' - all true in my opinion. Distance also gives you something to discuss from your day, it creates excitement too. A very important topic Matthew. Thanks.
I just lost the best girl in my life because I did all of this. You honestly have changed my life because I watched this video everyday for weeks straight. Thank you.
Are you reading my mind, Matthew?! All of your videos are incredible, but I NEEDED this one. Thank you for all that you do for your UA-cam family!!
Andi Harris literally me too!!!! I was looking it up and thought. Let me see what Matt has. And boom.
GIRL, isn't it great just being able to search for a topic in his videos? I always feel so much better (and sometimes a little silly) after watching them. Hahaha. I think the reason I struggle with this particular thing so much is because I don't want to push them away and lose them, so I go to the other end and over-attach too much. Work in progress, for sure!
Honestly, this video is like 20 others that I have seen from him. But I am a man an 99% logic. I could prove it too if it comes to that but just trust me.
God bless you
Nicholas Binaco you and me both bro
Wow, this came at the perfect time. Needed this one to open up my eyes. I was in self destruct mode because I was SO wrapped up in him and losing myself. I was making myself crazy and losing what makes me who I am! It was ruining our relationship. We're teetering on the brink of a breakup. I'm hoping he'll be open to continuing and working on it.
I did the same, but we talked about it in length. Then he still texted me and called me the next day. I have completely stepped back and am focussing on the great life I had before I met him. Only time will tell if it's too little too late. I've only been seeing him for 7 weeks, there is no label on this yet, so I am also entertaining meeting other people. Life goes on. I'm not waiting for him.
It's a hallmark trait- codependent and a narcissist
But also when you are truly in love with someone , it shouldn't make a difference how much or how little time you spend together because you can have an unspoken understanding when can't be together 🙂
Basically, the difference between short-term, immediate gratification and long-term fulfillment.
This is what I needed, this new guy i'm dating he's really patient with me and I did notice that I am requiring way to much of him two soon because I really like him and can tell he really likes me back. I want to see him all the time and talk to him but its not logical we have responsibilities and I have to let go and let it grow naturally. THANK YOU MATT!
I was experiencing with investing too much time and energy in a man I loved at the first sight. It didn’t work out that way because he pulled back. I’m trapped in a friend zone now but I’m happy with it. I don’t want to be with a man who is not sure what he wants.
Thank you for all valuable advices, Matthew ❤️
Having been with a love bombing narcissist made me drive away from crazy romances rationally and emotionally.
Girl, AGREED. XD Thanks to these "chase the conquest, not the prize" losers, it gets hard to tell who is special and who is just after conquest.
Love bombing is so fantastically addictive..... the main thing learn to leave before it ends...
@@ivy3839 like leaving the guy while he still lovebombing u?
@@fatimahazahra6664 yes , when you start to feel the love bombing is getting less intense time to leave .
Giving too much too soon has been a behavior I have struggled with. And since I have been watching your videos I have been wondering how to find the middle ground of giving enough of myself without becoming over-involved in him and letting my emotions getting the best of me. Now I get it..sort of..lol
Nichole omg I feel you ! I’m in the same boat ! After all the videos , I over analyse and find I hold myself back too much, trying to “play it” or giving way to much to soon ! Looking for the middle grown !
In the end I just need to find my core confidante and happiness , and let the situation flow
I vote for longer videos, love to see all the concepts you taught in the past put together and create a story that I'm sure reflects most people's new relationships. This was awesome!!
You are right Mathew, it's amazing how wise you're turning by the mere fact of your work on relationships, observing, listening, paying attention. And it's true that this balance of emotion and logic is the golden key in every aspect of life: love, family, work, community, self, otherness. Thank you so much!
I totally relate! Thanks ! When I start liking someone I totally get overwhelming by thinking about him, and I lose myself. Learning to control one’s emotions and keeping grounded is keey! Thanks
You’ve always been one of the ‘relationship advice’ you tubers that I’ve felt was genuine and realistic, hearing you address the issue of ‘over analyzing’ and taking some responsibility for it was honestly one of the most memorable things I’ve heard. The fact that you are real and that you are aware of your viewers and their actual real life circumstances after implementing your advice is commendable and the fact that you shouldered some blame (unnecessary in my opinion, we are grown ass adults with free will) is outstanding and totally impressive. You’re authenticity, in my opinion, was refreshing and you deserve lots of shine for taking the time to care and then start prepare.
i wish i listen to this 18 years ago.... i might have a different kind of relationship. But, it is never too late! Thanks, Matthew.
Being carried away is not a bad thing but if you do it with a toxic person then you put yourself in danger. Be sure that person is not trying to be with you for wrong reasons first
i let my emotions get the best of me and i think thats why i lost him.
You have a maturity about your content that far surpasses other relationship mentors. I’ve learned so much from you in the past year; I’m not quite ready for the retreat program. I’m still working on some rough edges. Thank you just doesn’t seem enough to extend my gratitude for the information you provide. May you have continued success!
I NEEDED this video! I swear, your uploading scheme always aligns with what I'm going through--I literally had a conversation about this dilemma this morning!
Wow. Couldn't be more of an ironic time for me to watch this video. Having some hard, emotional recent days having zero to do with the opposite sex or relationships, just life, but just like you said it can apply to any other aspect as well. Thank you!
I wish so much I had seen this video and some of your other videos before I went into my previous relationship. I truly feel it would have saved my relationship and prevented me from getting my heartbroken in such a profound way I’m still not over it a year later. I made exactly these mistakes, all with the best intentions in my heart, not realizing they were in fact being counterproductive to what I intended. I guess lessons learned, and I’m so grateful I have now seen these videos because I know I will take them with me into my next partnership and have a much better, healthier relationship ❤️
E S I feel you😊 I keep asking myself if I actually made the right decision. Well what happened, happened. I personally can't go back to him asking for another chance, we agreed not to get back together if we breakup since our first date, so no way to go back. But I can at least take lesson from it and do better in the next relationship😊
Omg Mathew , it’s like you spoke to my mind directly! I’m a deep thinker and wear my heart on my sleeve , and I find I can give to much too soon and over analyse my moves when it comes to dating!
you just spoke again - to perfection - on this point ! Not to over analyse or over think but to let the feelings flow but not to loose yourself in trying to please everyone ! Perfect !
So yet again , another amazing video from you !
I suck at falling too quickly... I'm too big of a softy... Sigh.
I'm gonna die alone
I definitely get too invested too quickly so I needed this. Thanks!!
I used to be like this and then I was just like "screw this if he doesn't like me then someone else will" and I move on. Made my life so much easier!
May you pls let me know about your relationship? Cos i think i did invest too soon
I’ve been there too. I was with my ex 2 months and we both invested too quickly. We loved each other we really did and everything felt right but we went too fast. It ended up not working out. He broke up with me. I’m sad about it but I have no regrets. I learned from the relationship. He showed me how I deserve to be treated and what love feels like. I’ll always be grateful for that.
@@vampiraqueen7449 hey! I'm sorry I didn't see this. If you're still interested I could definitely give you that info.
Just reconnected with a guy I dated years ago. I need this.
that "watch this" and for the first time , it deserves to be watched , thank u for everything for sharing . love
I am a very emotional sensitive person. Its in my genes to go out of my way and care for others and hurts so much to see people around change the very notion of love completely today. I never really understood until I saw this video! This video literally spoke to my heart!
I understand now. I thought that spending time almost everyday, was always fun, getting to know one another. Especially in the beginning in a relationship. I never thought of the idea that maybe spending so much time together that the sparks would slowly fade. That we would need to have time apart, so the next time we can rekindle the spark, or the fact that when we started to together that what the my were attractive to us was the time that we were doing, or hobbies, or interest, and we slowly stopped to be invested in our relationship. I learned a lot in this video. Thank you so much.
The man...he doesnt into you. How much you take slow or invesr fast. Its nothing at all. You invest and know early better than spent time with him and regrets later. But this is a good lesson for next chapter.
Good stuff, Hussey! I’ve been working on myself for years now and this is probably the most succinct antidote for not being a slave to emotions that I’ve come across. It resonates. You rock.
Thank you for your existence, Matthew. You are always there with advice that I need to hear the most.
Omg Every video u make just speaks to my soul , Lol 😆 I just love hearing You Speak ❤️🤷🏽♀️
I love how he explains it all. This all makes sense from a women's view. God bless him.
Me too! Matthew is the best. So much wisdom!
Your always have a great content! It's not just love coaching but It's the life coaching for all kind relationship! Always get positive energy from you! Keep up the good work🤗
OMG I love this video, it’s been explained properly how I’ve most probably gone wrong. I’ve been following you guys for years now and man, you have changed my life for the better.
I definitely had to learn the hard way to pull back and be more logical. I’m a planner and like to place things in boxes just like my time and relationship. 🤷🏻♀️
Approaching any type of relationship from these perspectives will create space for people to come to you. Classes on life skills, relationships and personal empowerment should be taught in schools. Thank you for the guidance, Matthew 👍
I’m so guilty of losing self in a relationship :/ stopping that behavior now . Thank you
Great video! And I absolutely agree - Don't stop perusing the things that make up who you are because that's a big part of why that person might be with you - So continue to be you but grow, adapt and expand but don't give up being you.
This is a great video matthew! Keep it up! I feel like ur my big brother always giving advices! Take care
Just recently broke up and I think what made me snap was it was always “what do you want to do, what do you want to eat, whatever you want” everything was plan by me and almost all the time we spend together was because I work around his schedule so he wouldn’t go to sleep late (he work at 6 am) it made me feel like I wasn’t a priority at all. I snap ask for time, we talk then he ended it because I hurt his ego refuse to acknowledge my pain. I sometimes think is because we both try to please each other so much instead of truly saying what we wanted. I have attachments issues and he has trust issues.
But oh well 😔 i leave everything in the hands of god and whatever is meant for me will come. 💓
I love the long videos, they feed me more information and helps me evolve more.
So true Matthew...i am just coming out of years..i mean years of not understanding this concept. It almost destroyed me. But after much soul searching I finally began to see this and things finally started making sense. Not to say I've mastered it yet but I can see more clearly. I really wish that they would teach these kind of valuable life skills at the schooling stage of our lives rather than some of the irrelevant stuff they make us learn instead. I have learnt in my life that some people just seem to be naturally good at mastering these emotions and others have to learn the hard way. Thank you so much for sharing...wish i had have found you years ago. Much love 🙏😊
Very much agree with you Matthew that pleasing someone all the time could create a selfish relationship. We should always know when to say NO or say what we like or want. It's part of getting to know each other right?
I’m just staring at him the whole time thinking about Camila’s perspective staring at her boyfriend. 💕 Like “Damn my bae is finnnneee”!😍
Thank you Matthew Hussey for all your advice in these videos. I appreciate them and all I can learn from them. This one has opened my eyes to how I was in a past relationship. Look forward to seeing more of your content. Growing as a person and finding love. I needed this. 🙂
Mathew you are just incredible , spot on! I just split from a 10 year relationship because he gave everythin up for me and he lives for that ''emotion' and my attraction for him eventually dissolved because he couldnt see it. I hope the time and space will show him he needs to have his own passions in life and be happy , we are still good friends i just hope he can find himself again soon.
Thank you Matthew.. That was the most insightful and empowering video. I always go into a relationship /friendship with my emotions at the wheel, especially as I'm getting older... I'm a huge people pleaser, and I care so much for others and their feelings.. and it's the combination of these things that allow my emotions to take over, and basically ensure the new person runs (screaming into the night lol)... Anyway, thank you again.. I really hope I can turn things round
He's a cross between Daniel and Dr.mike!
Matt, i have been following you for years and you surprise me every year with something new that makes complete sense. I always feel so much better after re reading something in your book or after watching your videos, thank you 😊
You are incredible. Literally what the heck. Every single word is true. Everything makes so much more sense now. I've been following you for years and it is true that I've found myself overthinking (exactly in the way you were describing in the beginning) and now this video gave me a new and better perspective. Thank you. Seriously, thank you!
Going to counseling to work on controlling my emotions so my emotions don't control me.
Me too
That’s what I want to do
Good for you
@@elizabethcreated9263 thanks. It's already been a year since my comment! I'm in such a better place now!
Your arms look great Matthew 😜
Irma Valdez that’s what i noticed, too! 😜
I was going to comment the same thing 😊
Girls stick with what he’s saying. Focus
Nourlentine too distracted
La la la he looks so bad is so ugly
I am SO going through this phase in my relationship right now, it's not even funny. Thank you for your words.
I agree that when other people are involved, as well as your own safety when you’re by yourself, harnessing your emotions is important. Diplomacy is critical when more than one person is in the picture.
This was so helpful for my daily "single" life, that's amazing mat, thank you very much ♥
Yes! I was currently in the middle of an emotional takeover so this was good to hear!
The best video I ever listened to. My life direct emotions and I want to change it so badly but don’t know how. Thank you for your video.
This is great. It’s about getting a good balance of the two which then gives you a “wise mind” to make decisions in. I was running purely on emotion in my last relationship and after it was over I was still extremely attached to the person and only wanted validation out of them, no one else. I’m slowly starting to detach now with a lot of therapy, but I cannot even put into words how emotionally draining and damaging it has been for me.
I'm a victim of PTSD. Worry is part of my life and i always break up with guys out of worry for the future. Gosh its so hard.
Tone Andersen You’re not alone 😩❤️
wow, this has a really heartfelt message (surprisingly). Thank you, Matthew!
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Matthew, I'm binge watching your videos right now. They're amazing and you are such an inspiration! Thank you for the really insightful videos. I'll be applying your tips into my next relationship, which I actually feel pretty solid about because I know what I want and know what to do.
It’s always a pleasure to see your videos. You’re sooo inspirating Matthew. You shine in your job.
But it's not fun because most people are holding back and are wounded, scared, and inauthentic because of it. I feel like the black sheep for going out each day, talking to people, and being happy. I actually want to know others and have them know me.
Veronica Haney it's the human condition I guess. Where I work it's a very niche environment/culture so I've gotten in the habit of being open with people and getting to know everybody. I used to be closed up before that.
Thank you so much, Matthew! Omg, you've just described literally all of my mistakes that I've made in the past 😝 Didn't know till now what in the hell I do wrong, gained clarity👍😇
Matthew really knows how to share his wisdom. So important to be secure and confident!
You are so insightful and thanks for talking about the tough subjects. This resonates so much for me- Thank you for sharing this! You are spot on!!
I'm lucky to have found a partner who felt the same way as I did. We both fell super fast, and established a relationship very very fast. We got emotional and serious in just a week. We rode the emotions and nurtured it, relished in it, entertained it, while here and there we put a little reason in, we talk about our concerns logically, realistically.
It's just. We know it's a balancing act, but we gladly do it everyday si things do not go out of hand. Communication is vital in a relationship, and making sure you are in the same page. Whether it's emotional or logical communication, it's important.
Say what you are feeling and thinking but do it in a compassionate way, especially when you are hurt. Don't go roundabout, be straightforward and respectful.
MATTHEW....I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS AND ESPECIALLY THIS ONE !!! TY FOR POSTING IT. IM SGE 50yrs WITH NO CHILDREN AND A WIDOW OF 4yrs. I MET MY HUSBAND ONLINE IN '95 WHEN I WAS 27yrs AND HE WAS 35yrs. WE FELL IN LOVE VERY QUICKLY WITH HIM KNOWING FIRST BUT BEING A BIT CAUTIOUS BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN DIVORCED A FEW YEARS EARLIER WITH NO CHILDREN. SHE HAD LEFT HIM AND USED HIM FOR MONEY. WE DATED LONG DISTANCE FOR A YEAR BEFORE I MOVED IN WITH HIM. WE GOT ENGAGED ONE YEAR LATER AND ACTUALLY MARRIED IN 2003. WE HAD A VERY HAPPY, FAITHFUL, STRONG MARRIAGE AND WE WERE EACH OTHERS BEST FRIENDS. UNFORTUNATELY AT AGE 54yrs....HE WAS ON VACATION FROM WORK AND AT HOME WHILE I WAS OUT OF TOWN VISITING FAMILY. I COULDN'T GET HIM TO ANSWER THE PHONE ALL ONE NIGHT WHILE I WAS AT HOTEL AND THAT WAS NOT LIKE HIM, I BEGAN TO PANIC. I CALLED SHERIFF'S IN OUR AREA AND HAD THEM BREAK INTO OUR HOME WHERE THEY FOUND HIM DECEASED FROM A HEART ATTACK. THAT WAS JAN. 10,2015. MY LIFE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. I THEN LEARND THE VALUABLE LESSON OF ALWAYS TELLING SOMEONE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM WHEN YOU DO. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS....BECAUSE TOMORROW ISNT PROMISED. THANK GOODNESS THOSE WERE MY LAST WORDS TO MY HUSBAND THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM. ITS BEEN FOUR YEARS AND ILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM, HE WAS 20yrs OF MY LIFE. BUT IM READY TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. BUT I FIND THAT MEN ARE NOT OPEN TO THIS EXPRESSION OF FEELING AND THIS BOTHERS ME. THEY SEEM TO BE LOOKING FOR MORE CASUAL SEX AND THEN WANT TO MOVE ON. THATS NOT ME OR MY VALUES. IM GETTING FRUSTRATED, RESENTFUL OF MEN, I CANT TRUST, AND JUST PLAIN LOSING HOPE THAT ILL EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN. I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE. HELP!!!! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG. ??? I JUST WANT RESPECT, FAITHFULNESS, COMMUNICATION, AND A GOOD GUY.
SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG.....
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HARD WORK
AND SUCH A WARM PERSON. 😊🙏
Melissa, I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. It sounds like you had an amazing relationship with him and that you're ready to be happy again. I know how crazy the dating world is and sometimes it seems like there are no men out there who share the same values and desire the same type of relationship. Continue to be very clear about what you want from a man/relationship and then cultivate that within yourself. If you want a man who is respectful, faithful, and a good communicator, be sure that you exhibit those qualities. Love and respect yourself, communicate your needs, and have faith that you will attract a high quality man who is comfortable expressing his feelings. I know he is out there and the Universe will bring you together when you are both ready. Best wishes to you
@@karencostello587 THANK YOU for you very kind words. There are days when I just want to give up hope. But you are very right. I will keep your advice tucked away in the back of my mind and also in my heart. I won't give up. Take care and enjoy your holiday season that is approaching! 😊
@@melissaannoylerryan3048 I love to hear you say that you won't give up. Enjoy the holidays also. Keep an open heart...magic is coming your way...just have faith!
This is the best advice!
I hate having to figure things like this out at my age. Everything is far too complicated. I think we have deified independence and self while devaluing family and marriage, to the point that love and desire are viewed as weakness.
You know what you talking about and this is nice to ear wised people like you Mathew Hussey...
Matthew this is fantastic. When my emotions run away with me it is a recipe for disaster! Emotions without boundaries are like 2 year olds acting like parents. Needless to say I recently experienced this and unchecked created a lot of fear! I appreciated this video because once again I am reminded to pick myself up by my britches and get a hold of myself because ultimately I desire to experience healthy relationships in all areas of my life.
Wow. This is very motivating. In my last relationship, I was slaved by emotions. Of course, he ran away. This video really explains our problems in life, thank you very much Matthew =)
Many of us have been there. I know I have, now you know, you know to do better! Go girl!
Again, so much WISDOM! Matthew, you are the Yoda of relationships.
Matthew, you are fantastic, my friend! It took me some time to figure out how to teach this because I simply do this. I learnt how when I was 16 and I picked up my first personal growth book. I have now started teaching it and it's just fantastic what it does in people's lives!