Definitely a voice I needed after my relationship ended and I'm going through the cycles of grief. I think a quote from Keanu Reeves is also helpful for anyone who needs it: "it's ok to fight for someone who loves you, it's not ok to fight for someone to love you"
@@vylet2292happy birthday! Sounds like he gave you the best gift - cutting him out of your life so you are now free to go find the right one! I know it doesn’t feel like that in this moment though. Keep your head up! ❤
Sending love and hugs to anyone feeling alone, sad, heartbroken, lonely or just not feeling as happy as you would like to be. You are amazing. You are loved and you will be ok. 🫶🏻
It won’t be that you found love because you’re excessively dating. It will be that you found love because you’re openly living! Sound advice throughout.
Thank you Matthew!!!.. I was married for 26+ years. Married young (21 &23)… my kids are 27, 23 & 21 & I’m 52. Your videos are so helpful! You , you brother and now Audrey & your team do an excellent job at helping me (& so many others). I own your book and share it with many. It made for awesome Christmas gifts! I’m loving my new Love Life & taking care of MY HUMAN! You are in my prayers . I’m so grateful to God for giving you this talent & grateful to you for sharing it! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
My heart was totally broken by my ex partner. He just dumped me over a small argument which I though we could workout. We had been together almost everyday for year. I had to go though Christmas last year, it was so hard I was so unhappy for many months. I was also in, No contact. I'm very glad I did that eventually he came back but I decided, I couldn't go back to him. I'm much happier now and quite happy to spend Christmas with my friends. I became stronger and have more self worth, it made me stronger. One day I might meet someone in the future may be 2025 will be that year. Either way I'm working on my self and changing for the better. You can do it to!!!. I listened to Mathew alot and coach Lee and I joined Mind valley. Happy Christmas to anyone who is heart broken. I really feel for you and know you can rise again!
My story too l was dumped on 21 December 2024 with the person l love the most. She just dropped without me doing anything wrong. I was loyal, caring and supportive. I am hurt but it is what it is
You made a good choice for yourself. Work on ourselves and I'm sure you will get closer and closer to finding the right partner for you ❤ don't give up!
This video comes at the right moment... I'm so sick of the men I stumble upon being bad at communication, lying and just being cowards when it comes to having real discussions about issues.
My girl is avoidant I mean I could write a book on them on every game they play and how they play I am so sick and tired of her lack of communication, lying and cowords every time we have to face a serious situation I mean why why it's been 5 years. And after 5 years telling me we can't be together bcz of religion difference dude I even willing to change my religion just to be with her , if sending a small msg like hay I hope u are fine if there is anything I can do let me know in during her periods Guess what I got in return her reply are like do your job, I don't need anyone help or leave me alone even though I only text her once a day . I hope if somebody read this understand me and give me the love which I deserve as a partner.
@@gouravsahoo185 the way you describe it, it sounds like she isn't putting in as much effort and that there's no reason to believe it will change... Also she probably doesn't want you to switch religion just to be with her. You should probably break up and find someone more compatible
I found the love of my life at a time when I felt hopeless in ever finding love. Simply by getting to know new people constantly, not for dating purposes, but for the sake of meeting potential new friends. But he and I just happened to click immediately. Been together for 12.5 years and we are still head over heels for each other. I wish this for everyone who reads this. May you find the right person for you. It can happen when you least expect it. ❤❤❤
Instead of concluding there's no one out there, actually go OUT THERE - I love this. Perfect example of Matthew keeping it real, challenging limiting beliefs with logic and taking action to change your life.
This advice was REALLY GOOD : “You are not losing love, your Ego is losing ( the story of what we imagined it will be)”!!! It’s important to differentiate between these two!! Thanks!🙏
Much needed message for the holiday season and the end of the year when we take stock of our life, including our love life and we end it as we started it, single. For me, Ive had two situationships and heartbreak throughout the course of this year and it's not easy to stay hopeful but love IS out there and I choose to stay expectant. And in the meantime my family, friends, pets, even random strangers are getting it. Because love is so much greater than we make it, focusing only on its romantic asoect. I realise everyone wants to find their person, but Im so thankful we're also able to give and receive love in other ways. Happy Christmas everyone here, Matthew, Audrey and the team and my best wishes for the new year ❤
I dated a man for I don’t know. I don’t know maybe nine months and he was clearly trying to date other people behind my back the entire time so I’m done.
It‘s veeeerrrrry difficult to surround yourself with “good stories” because over time you get excluded from them. You don’t fit to a lot of activities and become some kind of “danger” or “bad example” who they don’t want to be surrounded with. And as a result it becomes harder and harder - with time you have more and more single friends where you don’t even have the opportunity to meet someone new in a healthy environment… the older I get - the less Invitations I have to any occasions. And in a way I’m released that I don’t have to take part on another wedding without a partner - honestly although I know I’m a good one - by time I feel shame about my status. I’m frustrated because I cannot do something more and I’m in a state where is no solution. I can only wait & try to be hopeful.
If people make you feel ashamed about who you are they're not your friends, I come from a very dysfunctional family and I can tell you, shame is the losing game of power dynamics, not friendship, if they value you they'll make you feel comfortable just as you are, otherwise it's better to be social in another place
@ This is exactly what I already always do. But most of the times the “shame” is not based on any behavior of others towards me. In opposite - a lot of good friends are very sweet and try to include me everywhere they can and believe I would feel good. But even then - I have this feeling - not because of they did anything wrong. It’s internal - because every time I get reminded of my situation more and more in such situations. Example: Birthday’s: I went on Birthdays over a decade🙄🙄🙄 - and always taking part as a “single” is not comforting. I’m collected and would say also not “bad looking” - and I assume that over time even good people are asking themselves: Whyyyy? … And it’s naturally making me question and brings up self doubts. Thing’s happening out of control unwillingly can bring up the feeling of shame…
@lauracamellini7999 That hits home for me. In my most recent relationship, I was essentially made to feel like I wasn't good enough with anything. Constant blame-shifting, attempts to bully me into not taking medication I've been on for years, etc.
Thanks Matthew! I haven't dated in 6 years, and discounting the 2 attempts at dating the same close friend twice, it's been almost 20 years. I really needed to hear point 10. I was absolutely terrified of dating, and I think i just needed the mindset shift of just expanding my life, and letting that be the door through which love can walk. This is why i love your output so much. Its not just dating, its mental health and wisdom, and all sorts of elements of life you sprinkle in. I appreciate you, dude!
Idk, dating in 40s, 50s & 60s is another animal. Everyone is carrying past trauma, lack of self awareness seems to be the norm. I don’t mind past trauma ( I have it too) it’s how they cope or don’t cope with it that’s the issue. Lack of self awareness seems to be the norm. It’s depressing. I finally just got a dog & he’s the best partner ever!
THIIIIIIS!!!! I turn 40 in a month and my god, the pool of truly eligible men out there is getting smaller and smaller. All the while, I’m dating losers and just picking up more baggage along the way. I really hope I find someone soon bc this rat race is utterly exhausting and very taxing.
It would be really nice to get a pet for companionship. Unfortunately, being allergic to most animals makes this incredibly difficult. Glad you found something!
A string? I call it a line of failed relationships. So many toxic relationships or good relationships that ended in me being discarded/ghosted. Every time something is going right it ends. And when it’s going bad I let it drag out because I’m afraid it’ll never happen for me.
THIS. I feel this on such a deep level. I’m working on doing better to honor myself and not let ppl take advantage of me going forward. But it’s not just some magical light switch. It’s gonna take time.
You’re not alone!! I cannot wait to find the love of my life, but I’m patient that it will come. Staying positive and bringing to the table what I deserve.
@@cloverleafeon4 my ex also did exactly this, & it's so tempting to go back to them but I think the faster we get over faster we will find our love of life. I want to meet new people . Anyone wanna go out ? I am serious
I’m feelin that restored optimism, thank you MH. And to all those whom have just been through another breakup like myself, know that we are in our “attracting mode” so, keep that light on!
The stories we choose to tell ourselves are so important. This really resonated with me. The better the stories, the better the reality we create for ourselves! Here is to choosing the empowering story especially when it gets hard. ❤
perfect timing after a week of disappointments… feeling exhausted… brilliant advice!! I need to recalibrate… knowing it will happen as I am living life! 👍👏🏼
Its nice to see a positive helpful video on dating instead of all the negative videos on dating. It's giving me some perspective on things I'm doing wrong or things i could work on
I really needed to hear the 8th point. I developed a crush on a colleague, and when I recently heard that she got engaged, it deeply hurt. My head started weaving stories about the future we might have had together. But as you rightly said, this is more of an ego bruise rather than a true tragedy of lost love. Thank you.
After being on dating apps for 4 months, a few potential ones but fell through, including being turned down 3 different times in one week, I gave up. It drained me mentally and affected my mental health. I just deleted all the dating apps and will try again another day. It's time to focus on me.
I watched this video twice in the span of a few days to reinstill the profound truths that are spoken of in this video...a heartfelt thank you to you, Matthew❤
On 21 December 2024. My relationship ended with the woman l love wholeheartedly. What hurts the most is that it was our Anniversary. Deep down l knew that l was too good for her because l was the one who worked hard for the relationship. She didn't care about me. She didn't put effort. I did everything for her. Even though she is gone l am glad l was loyal and loving to her...The fact that she used me and told me it's over after l asked her " Are you sure you love me" will not change me. I will stay positive but l will never trust a lady...because this world is not ready for loving and caring man 💔
Seven years of disappointments and loss. So much wasted time with situationships. Men come back and choose me as a rebound. Waiting for your person can be lonely but someone who does not see your value cannot be valuable to you.
Thankyou so much for this Matthew. A big hug to everyone who is struggling. May we stay the wonderful, resillient and loving people that we are and shine even brighter ❤
Glad to see this video! This is just what I needed to hear after reading a bunch of negative content on social media about finding love. Thank you for this.
I’d love for Matthew to talk about dating fasts, how to get the most out of them etc. I just really think I need to do one but there’s barely any info on them. Please anyone in the comments if you have experience doing this let me know! And I mean intentionally not dating, no flirting, no dating apps, no dates, even checking people out trying to cut that out for a time. From what I’ve heard it’s beneficial to do it six months to a year.
Being a 42 year old man with no long term relationship experience, I find it a struggle to maintain good mental health without feeling resentment. I find dating to be the one hardest task ever. It's harder than finding a job at this point. So many expectations I can't satisfy, the disappointment can be unbearable sometimes. Yet here I am, still delusionally holding out for hope that I will find a wife and family one day
Being 39, with mostly long-term relationship experience, I've discovered that I haven't been able to meet expectations; my most recent relationship was my shortest, and once the honeymoon period ended, it turned out that she really didn't like a whole lot about me. Verbal abuse. It's rough out there.
Thank-you Matthew, I really enjoy your content. I needed to be reminded that living and dating are one in the same. I just got rejected a couple of days ago, but it's all part of life. I need to shake it off and just try to enjoy my present life to the fullest. Thank-you, again.
Thank you for the hope. Sometimes I felt I won’t find the one. But now I feel a little hope. Also that after a breakup I have been so disappointed I felt like it’s fine even if I don’t find anyone. But after this video I feel like I should give dating another try for myself. Thank you again for making me feel like I ain’t the only one and it was an ego death.
Such wise words Matthew ❤ in particular about getting around people who are telling empowering stories aligned with what you want to create in your own life.
This gives me hope. I am so glad I found your channel because I have been listening to clips of you where I can find them. You are such a wonderful source of inspiration
I am not going on dates anymore. What is the point? When you know, you know. Until I find that person, I won't waste my gas or my makeup anymore. Truth.
Fourth advise was really relatable. Yes, Ex was disappointing😂 . I was aware of all red flags & still found myself romanticising all good things about him . But , No longer from now onwards
VERY IMPORTANT!!! For long, loving relationships!!! This aint an add, i just found this info and its everything you need for a pretty much perfect relationship, meaning always full of love and untill old age or death. Fully based in science and a LOT of Studies. The book is called "cupids poisoned arrow" And shows the reason why people fall out of love and how to stay in love, aswell as other very usefull info and the benefits of a love filled life. HIGHLY recomend reading.
I though I'd found the love of my life, 4 years after my 25-year marriage ended. We had 3 years together and it seems like we both clicked. We had shared friends, shared experiences, traveled the world. Then bam, he broke it off just before Thanksgiving. I find he is a Fearful Avoidant. We had lots of holiday plans and now I am alone and sad. I am 68 and not knowing where I'll find anyone new or if I even want to.
Thank you Matthew, my brother from another mother. Happy holidays and God bless you for giving us lonely hearts so much hope. May the new year bring in happiness and fulfill your goals❤ Love from 🇮🇳 India
My greatest dream is to forge a relationship with someone with whom we share an all encompassing life purpose. Our abilities and perspectives complement one another, and the impact we have on the world is amplified to an extent that goes far beyond the impact we can achieve on our own. Power couple. It has been my standard since I was very young. One that I will never deviate from. Though I maintain an open heart and am very much interested in people in a platonic way. So I don't go around judging those who don't meet the standard. Every relationship that has not worked for me, there was no shared vision. No shared purpose. That being said, there is always a reason why people leave your life, and always a reason why we repel each other before anything even begins. I have full faith that the other half of my power couple will reveal himself in perfect timing.
14:28 Cannot agree more on that! But I think there should be an extra caveat - make sure people that have seen your true self when you meet them. Because otherwise, other person might have seen the wrong version of you!
I found my person, and he gave me 11 incredible years before he died suddenly and unexpectedly. Now, I'm out here and it's hard to imagine there's another way way different person still somehow out there for me. Lightening strikes twice? Ooof.
I am 72 and still would enjoy a romantic relationship - my Husband died 12 years ago tried dating and no matches - several Nice guys but no depths or attraction to go deeper and obsessive experience with one man - I know he an avoidant attachment man I was very attracted to but was awful for me. Inconsistent and several times going pretty nicely then anti crazy anger, left and blocked me. Took him back several times then repeated. Crazy-making indeed. Then he friend-zoned ME! I tried friend shit and terrible for me. Trying to move on. On dating site again and nothing. Scammers abound. Yes, giving up & feeling kinda sad but working on my spiritual growth and family and friends that are true blue. What say you?
I’m in my 50s and never have had a good relationship. I’ve been single for 10 years (no dating or anything). I’ve given up on ever finding love. I have kids and a dog and that’s more than enough.
The holidays certainly are a tough time especially for me being almost 30 and have never had any type of date or romantic relationship. I still haven't even had my first kiss. How sad is that? I know I shouldn't be perpetuating my negative thoughts and experiences, but it's incredibly difficult. I've recently had yet another failure in the dating world, asked this girl out, got no reply for a week unitl she just sent a random pic of her cat. She never mentions it whenever I see her, it feels like she's hoping I'll forget and just not bring it up. 1 part of that is true, I haven't and don't want to bring it up because I know it will stir the toxic pool of repressed emotions and I don't want to "snap" at her. I also dislike being at home with my family as I don't feel emotionally secure to open up around them. They have their lives sorted and are/have been successful and I'm still working a dead end 9-5 and have this second life I pick up when I leave the house that I hate having to leave behind every time I drive home. That sounds awful because your family should always be there for you, but it doesn't feel that way now. I want to tell my friends this but I don't because we are usually on a voice chat and I don't want my family to hear the crap that I'm feeling due to my upbringing and how my brother was and has always been the golden child and was pushed to greatness while I was the screw up and was never pushed to succeed. I was always ridiculed for poor performance in school compared to my brothers straight A's and that he's never had to work for anything in his life. On a brighter note, I'm happy I've found your content Matt, your kind words before the 10th advice actually pulled out some tears. Genuinely thank you for that, I needed that out.
It's been 3 years since my abusive lying cheating addicted ex husband walked out. I'm 50. Have had 2 relationships with guys that were so unsuitable it was gross. I've seen many friends try for years to find someone. It just doesn't work. I've got more chance of winning Lotto
Dating in 40s-50s is a different animal. Matthew should do a show on that. Men & women have more demons & past trauma they carry with them. I don’t mind the past trauma (I have it too), it’s how they cope with it. Lack of self awareness and only wanting sex seems to be the norm from my experience anyway.
@susanwhalls6230 absolutely agree with you. And it would be brilliant if Matthew could do a show on dating in 40s & 50s. It's everything you describe. I have trauma too, like you describe, and I don't mind it in others either but it's all the other gunk that is such a nightmare
I’m so tired of men wanting to talk about sex constantly before even meeting. So over it. It’s disappointing talking to someone a few times on the phone & then having to move on because they can’t seem to ask any questions other than sex related.. & these are men in their 50s.. wtf such a turn off.
Hey Matthew Nothing to do with this video but after having my boyfrind over to my parents at Christmas because he couldn't go to his, I was wondering if you could give advice for family meetings with your partner. We manage it in a way but it was difficult. Also because my boyfrind is black and he struggled with othersisam from a frew members of my withe family. And my mom ingenerell has an issue with sensibility and bonderys. And for me it was difficult to be there for him while also talking to my three sisters how I don't see that offten. I think thoughs and acsampels of difficulties when partner and family are meeting would be wonderful
Definitely a voice I needed after my relationship ended and I'm going through the cycles of grief. I think a quote from Keanu Reeves is also helpful for anyone who needs it: "it's ok to fight for someone who loves you, it's not ok to fight for someone to love you"
Omg, thank you. Just caught my bf of 3.5 ys cheating with another girl 2 days ago n today's my bday 🤦♀️
Love that line x
@@vylet2292I’m so sorry to hear that ): you deserve so much better. And happy birthday ❤
@@vylet2292happy birthday! Sounds like he gave you the best gift - cutting him out of your life so you are now free to go find the right one! I know it doesn’t feel like that in this moment though. Keep your head up! ❤
@@vylet2292That’s a crappy person. You deserve someone who won’t even think about betraying you like that.
Sending love and hugs to anyone feeling alone, sad, heartbroken, lonely or just not feeling as happy as you would like to be. You are amazing. You are loved and you will be ok. 🫶🏻
Another clairvoyant 🙄
Ok 🙄
Thank you ❤
It won’t be that you found love because you’re excessively dating. It will be that you found love because you’re openly living! Sound advice throughout.
Thank you Matthew!!!.. I was married for 26+ years. Married young (21 &23)… my kids are 27, 23 & 21 & I’m 52. Your videos are so helpful! You , you brother and now Audrey & your team do an excellent job at helping me (& so many others). I own your book and share it with many. It made for awesome Christmas gifts! I’m loving my new Love Life & taking care of MY HUMAN! You are in my prayers . I’m so grateful to God for giving you this talent & grateful to you for sharing it! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
My heart was totally broken by my ex partner. He just dumped me over a small argument which I though we could workout. We had been together almost everyday for year. I had to go though Christmas last year, it was so hard I was so unhappy for many months. I was also in, No contact. I'm very glad I did that eventually he came back but I decided, I couldn't go back to him. I'm much happier now and quite happy to spend Christmas with my friends. I became stronger and have more self worth, it made me stronger. One day I might meet someone in the future may be 2025 will be that year. Either way I'm working on my self and changing for the better. You can do it to!!!. I listened to Mathew alot and coach Lee and I joined Mind valley. Happy Christmas to anyone who is heart broken. I really feel for you and know you can rise again!
mind valley is a cult beware.
Hé used a small argument, to break it of…..
My story too l was dumped on 21 December 2024 with the person l love the most. She just dropped without me doing anything wrong. I was loyal, caring and supportive. I am hurt but it is what it is
You made a good choice for yourself. Work on ourselves and I'm sure you will get closer and closer to finding the right partner for you ❤ don't give up!
This video comes at the right moment... I'm so sick of the men I stumble upon being bad at communication, lying and just being cowards when it comes to having real discussions about issues.
Interesting...I have the same problem with women.
@rmjmoviereviews6876 😵
Pretty much
My girl is avoidant I mean I could write a book on them on every game they play and how they play I am so sick and tired of her lack of communication, lying and cowords every time we have to face a serious situation I mean why why it's been 5 years. And after 5 years telling me we can't be together bcz of religion difference dude I even willing to change my religion just to be with her , if sending a small msg like hay I hope u are fine if there is anything I can do let me know in during her periods Guess what I got in return her reply are like do your job, I don't need anyone help or leave me alone even though I only text her once a day . I hope if somebody read this understand me and give me the love which I deserve as a partner.
@@gouravsahoo185 the way you describe it, it sounds like she isn't putting in as much effort and that there's no reason to believe it will change... Also she probably doesn't want you to switch religion just to be with her. You should probably break up and find someone more compatible
I found the love of my life at a time when I felt hopeless in ever finding love. Simply by getting to know new people constantly, not for dating purposes, but for the sake of meeting potential new friends. But he and I just happened to click immediately. Been together for 12.5 years and we are still head over heels for each other. I wish this for everyone who reads this. May you find the right person for you. It can happen when you least expect it. ❤❤❤
Instead of concluding there's no one out there, actually go OUT THERE - I love this. Perfect example of Matthew keeping it real, challenging limiting beliefs with logic and taking action to change your life.
This advice was REALLY GOOD : “You are not losing love, your Ego is losing ( the story of what we imagined it will be)”!!! It’s important to differentiate between these two!! Thanks!🙏
Much needed message for the holiday season and the end of the year when we take stock of our life, including our love life and we end it as we started it, single. For me, Ive had two situationships and heartbreak throughout the course of this year and it's not easy to stay hopeful but love IS out there and I choose to stay expectant. And in the meantime my family, friends, pets, even random strangers are getting it. Because love is so much greater than we make it, focusing only on its romantic asoect. I realise everyone wants to find their person, but Im so thankful we're also able to give and receive love in other ways. Happy Christmas everyone here, Matthew, Audrey and the team and my best wishes for the new year ❤
This comment is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for the reminder ❤
@SuperBlahblahrawr I'm so glad! We all need these reminders 💛
Whenever others tell me to stop having trust issues, I retort back why can't people just be honest 😒
I dated a man for I don’t know. I don’t know maybe nine months and he was clearly trying to date other people behind my back the entire time so I’m done.
Matthew you save me today! I was just rejected for dating and had a horrible night. Thank you!
i appreciate that your advice is not just about dating - but can be applicable to leading to a great life in general. thank you
It‘s veeeerrrrry difficult to surround yourself with “good stories” because over time you get excluded from them. You don’t fit to a lot of activities and become some kind of “danger” or “bad example” who they don’t want to be surrounded with. And as a result it becomes harder and harder - with time you have more and more single friends where you don’t even have the opportunity to meet someone new in a healthy environment… the older I get - the less Invitations I have to any occasions. And in a way I’m released that I don’t have to take part on another wedding without a partner - honestly although I know I’m a good one - by time I feel shame about my status. I’m frustrated because I cannot do something more and I’m in a state where is no solution. I can only wait & try to be hopeful.
If people make you feel ashamed about who you are they're not your friends, I come from a very dysfunctional family and I can tell you, shame is the losing game of power dynamics, not friendship, if they value you they'll make you feel comfortable just as you are, otherwise it's better to be social in another place
Take yourself out and make a new circle. You're not at the mercy of other people's decisions or behaviour.
@ This is exactly what I already always do. But most of the times the “shame” is not based on any behavior of others towards me. In opposite - a lot of good friends are very sweet and try to include me everywhere they can and believe I would feel good. But even then - I have this feeling - not because of they did anything wrong. It’s internal - because every time I get reminded of my situation more and more in such situations. Example: Birthday’s: I went on Birthdays over a decade🙄🙄🙄 - and always taking part as a “single” is not comforting. I’m collected and would say also not “bad looking” - and I assume that over time even good people are asking themselves: Whyyyy? …
And it’s naturally making me question and brings up self doubts. Thing’s happening out of control unwillingly can bring up the feeling of shame…
@@lellodthe moment you'll start being curious about what's around you and stop focusing on yourself you'll know you're healing
@lauracamellini7999 That hits home for me. In my most recent relationship, I was essentially made to feel like I wasn't good enough with anything. Constant blame-shifting, attempts to bully me into not taking medication I've been on for years, etc.
Thanks Matthew! I haven't dated in 6 years, and discounting the 2 attempts at dating the same close friend twice, it's been almost 20 years. I really needed to hear point 10. I was absolutely terrified of dating, and I think i just needed the mindset shift of just expanding my life, and letting that be the door through which love can walk.
This is why i love your output so much. Its not just dating, its mental health and wisdom, and all sorts of elements of life you sprinkle in. I appreciate you, dude!
Idk, dating in 40s, 50s & 60s is another animal. Everyone is carrying past trauma, lack of self awareness seems to be the norm. I don’t mind past trauma ( I have it too) it’s how they cope or don’t cope with it that’s the issue. Lack of self awareness seems to be the norm. It’s depressing. I finally just got a dog & he’s the best partner ever!
THIIIIIIS!!!! I turn 40 in a month and my god, the pool of truly eligible men out there is getting smaller and smaller. All the while, I’m dating losers and just picking up more baggage along the way. I really hope I find someone soon bc this rat race is utterly exhausting and very taxing.
Spot on. Lack of self awareness
It would be really nice to get a pet for companionship. Unfortunately, being allergic to most animals makes this incredibly difficult. Glad you found something!
A string? I call it a line of failed relationships. So many toxic relationships or good relationships that ended in me being discarded/ghosted. Every time something is going right it ends. And when it’s going bad I let it drag out because I’m afraid it’ll never happen for me.
A very long line, decades and decades of it. That line is only nearing the end because nobody lives for ever.
THIS. I feel this on such a deep level. I’m working on doing better to honor myself and not let ppl take advantage of me going forward. But it’s not just some magical light switch. It’s gonna take time.
My story too... are good people embraved in this world. The answer is NO and it hurts
PLEASE!! Less of whats wrong and more of what is right! ❤❤❤
Be a short topic then.
@@susanparkes5096there are SO MANY RIGHT THINGS about relationships!! Some people Just need to hear baput it more to be able to see it!
You’re not alone!! I cannot wait to find the love of my life, but I’m patient that it will come. Staying positive and bringing to the table what I deserve.
It's been constant love bombing, breadcrumbing, then ghosting. It's weighing me down.
@@cloverleafeon4 my ex also did exactly this, & it's so tempting to go back to them but I think the faster we get over faster we will find our love of life. I want to meet new people . Anyone wanna go out ? I am serious
I’m feelin that restored optimism, thank you MH. And to all those whom have just been through another breakup like myself, know that we are in our “attracting mode” so, keep that light on!
The stories we choose to tell ourselves are so important. This really resonated with me. The better the stories, the better the reality we create for ourselves! Here is to choosing the empowering story especially when it gets hard. ❤
perfect timing after a week of disappointments… feeling exhausted… brilliant advice!! I need to recalibrate… knowing it will happen as I am living life! 👍👏🏼
Its nice to see a positive helpful video on dating instead of all the negative videos on dating. It's giving me some perspective on things I'm doing wrong or things i could work on
I really needed to hear the 8th point. I developed a crush on a colleague, and when I recently heard that she got engaged, it deeply hurt. My head started weaving stories about the future we might have had together. But as you rightly said, this is more of an ego bruise rather than a true tragedy of lost love. Thank you.
After being on dating apps for 4 months, a few potential ones but fell through, including being turned down 3 different times in one week, I gave up. It drained me mentally and affected my mental health. I just deleted all the dating apps and will try again another day. It's time to focus on me.
Maybe try meeting people in real life. That’s what I’m going to do.
I watched this video twice in the span of a few days to reinstill the profound truths that are spoken of in this video...a heartfelt thank you to you, Matthew❤
On 21 December 2024. My relationship ended with the woman l love wholeheartedly. What hurts the most is that it was our Anniversary. Deep down l knew that l was too good for her because l was the one who worked hard for the relationship. She didn't care about me. She didn't put effort. I did everything for her. Even though she is gone l am glad l was loyal and loving to her...The fact that she used me and told me it's over after l asked her " Are you sure you love me" will not change me. I will stay positive but l will never trust a lady...because this world is not ready for loving and caring man 💔
Seven years of disappointments and loss. So much wasted time with situationships. Men come back and choose me as a rebound. Waiting for your person can be lonely but someone who does not see your value cannot be valuable to you.
Thankyou so much for this Matthew. A big hug to everyone who is struggling. May we stay the wonderful, resillient and loving people that we are and shine even brighter ❤
Glad to see this video! This is just what I needed to hear after reading a bunch of negative content on social media about finding love. Thank you for this.
I’d love for Matthew to talk about dating fasts, how to get the most out of them etc. I just really think I need to do one but there’s barely any info on them. Please anyone in the comments if you have experience doing this let me know! And I mean intentionally not dating, no flirting, no dating apps, no dates, even checking people out trying to cut that out for a time. From what I’ve heard it’s beneficial to do it six months to a year.
Being a 42 year old man with no long term relationship experience, I find it a struggle to maintain good mental health without feeling resentment. I find dating to be the one hardest task ever. It's harder than finding a job at this point. So many expectations I can't satisfy, the disappointment can be unbearable sometimes. Yet here I am, still delusionally holding out for hope that I will find a wife and family one day
Being 39, with mostly long-term relationship experience, I've discovered that I haven't been able to meet expectations; my most recent relationship was my shortest, and once the honeymoon period ended, it turned out that she really didn't like a whole lot about me. Verbal abuse. It's rough out there.
Thank-you Matthew, I really enjoy your content. I needed to be reminded that living and dating are one in the same. I just got rejected a couple of days ago, but it's all part of life. I need to shake it off and just try to enjoy my present life to the fullest. Thank-you, again.
Thank you for the hope. Sometimes I felt I won’t find the one. But now I feel a little hope. Also that after a breakup I have been so disappointed I felt like it’s fine even if I don’t find anyone. But after this video I feel like I should give dating another try for myself. Thank you again for making me feel like I ain’t the only one and it was an ego death.
Eternally grateful to the wisdom and sense you share with us all! Have a great life Matthew ✌️
Good that you recognised all the lonely people out there! Thx
Love you Mathew :) God bless you for being there for us 💗
Thank you Matthew for the beautiful message of hope, faith and love ❤
Such wise words Matthew ❤ in particular about getting around people who are telling empowering stories aligned with what you want to create in your own life.
This gives me hope. I am so glad I found your channel because I have been listening to clips of you where I can find them. You are such a wonderful source of inspiration
Thank you for this. Matthew, your words has definitely given me some hope in my current season.
I didn’t though i needed this video, but I listen to it anyway. And I realist that I really needed to hear this. So thank you❤
Just when I needed it most. Thanks! The struggle between Ego and reality, including love, that's all about!
Going to dance the holidays away with strangers. Going to be so much fun!
Happy holidays!
Thank you for all you do and share. It really helps when things seem so muddled up
Matthew, your insight is always spot on and puts my head back on straight! Thank you!
I am not going on dates anymore. What is the point? When you know, you know. Until I find that person, I won't waste my gas or my makeup anymore. Truth.
This is so mature and positive ❤☺️ thanks sir 🙏
Thank you, Matthew, you are very wise and yours words are appreciated greatly.
Thank you for the great advice!❤
Thats what i needed- so many eye openers! Thank you ❤
Thank you, Matthew. You are such a blessing!
Wonderful advice and insight.
Fourth advise was really relatable. Yes, Ex was disappointing😂 . I was aware of all red flags & still found myself romanticising all good things about him . But , No longer from now onwards
VERY IMPORTANT!!! For long, loving relationships!!!
This aint an add, i just found this info and its everything you need for a pretty much perfect relationship, meaning always full of love and untill old age or death.
Fully based in science and a LOT of Studies.
The book is called
"cupids poisoned arrow"
And shows the reason why people fall out of love and how to stay in love, aswell as other very usefull info and the benefits of a love filled life.
HIGHLY recomend reading.
MH you are simply the best. I absolutely love and appreciate your sound advice and coaching. THANK YOU FROM MY HEART.
What a great video
Have a great Christmas with Audrey.
What a beautiful message
I’m just doing life ❤
Such a powerful message, thanks for the positive reminder!🙌❤️
Great video 👏👏👏
Wow Matthew, I was in need of hearing these words today. I can't thank you enough 🙏
I love true crime. Audrey, I'm with you ❤
You rock, MH ❤️
I though I'd found the love of my life, 4 years after my 25-year marriage ended. We had 3 years together and it seems like we both clicked. We had shared friends, shared experiences, traveled the world. Then bam, he broke it off just before Thanksgiving. I find he is a Fearful Avoidant. We had lots of holiday plans and now I am alone and sad. I am 68 and not knowing where I'll find anyone new or if I even want to.
You are an exceptional gift! ❤
This too shall pass- if you are in a low moment in life❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Matthew, my brother from another mother. Happy holidays and God bless you for giving us lonely hearts so much hope. May the new year bring in happiness and fulfill your goals❤ Love from 🇮🇳 India
False hope, in the case of many.
I'm lonely not the only one in this journey!!!! Lol
I tell myself this too
Im not even lonely anymore, more like disgusted & disappointed with what seems to be out there..
Even though your darkest days, your fire burns, always ❤️
The guy I liked ego is bigger than anyone I've ever met. That's saying something. I made the right decision to walk away. Good advice though. Thanks.
My greatest dream is to forge a relationship with someone with whom we share an all encompassing life purpose. Our abilities and perspectives complement one another, and the impact we have on the world is amplified to an extent that goes far beyond the impact we can achieve on our own. Power couple. It has been my standard since I was very young. One that I will never deviate from. Though I maintain an open heart and am very much interested in people in a platonic way. So I don't go around judging those who don't meet the standard.
Every relationship that has not worked for me, there was no shared vision. No shared purpose. That being said, there is always a reason why people leave your life, and always a reason why we repel each other before anything even begins. I have full faith that the other half of my power couple will reveal himself in perfect timing.
Omg that’s totally me. I went back to my ex three times because I went out and dated and I was so disappointed that I couldn’t find a partner
How to feel good in any date for example!
Great podcast! Useful information🙏👍 Thank you so much! Merry Christmas guys💙✨❄️✨
Nothing ever goes right Matt for me maybe watching this may help me feel little better let’s hope so merry Christmas everyone all best for 2025
Merry Christmas 🎅🏻 🎄 & Thanks 🙏🏽 so much ❤
14:28 Cannot agree more on that! But I think there should be an extra caveat - make sure people that have seen your true self when you meet them. Because otherwise, other person might have seen the wrong version of you!
I found my person, and he gave me 11 incredible years before he died suddenly and unexpectedly. Now, I'm out here and it's hard to imagine there's another way way different person still somehow out there for me. Lightening strikes twice? Ooof.
Thanks a lot Mathew it helps. I'll be on a new journey
I am 72 and still would enjoy a romantic relationship - my
Husband died 12 years ago tried dating and no matches - several
Nice guys but no depths or attraction to go deeper and obsessive experience with one man - I know he an avoidant attachment man I was very attracted to but was awful for me. Inconsistent and several times going pretty nicely then anti crazy anger, left and blocked
me. Took him back several times then repeated. Crazy-making indeed. Then he friend-zoned ME! I tried friend shit and terrible for me. Trying to move on. On dating site again and nothing. Scammers abound. Yes, giving up & feeling kinda sad but working on my spiritual growth and family and friends that are true blue. What say you?
holy cow....you are sooo smart!!
Don’t give me that hope…
single for two decades. the good ones are taken or only like me as a friend
Love it! 😍
Thanks for the video it's very helpful
So good!
I've stopped hanging out full stop. no friends anymore, just my cats.
thank you Matthew
I haven’t given up hope on finding my Soulmate, but I feel hopeless! Everyone I know has someone and I’m 35 and not even close. 😔
I am in the same situation :(
I'm 40. I feel you
Hang in there ❤
Pray pray pray and remain positive ❤
All you need is a 1🙏🏽
I’m in my 50s and never have had a good relationship. I’ve been single for 10 years (no dating or anything). I’ve given up on ever finding love. I have kids and a dog and that’s more than enough.
thanks Matthew
The holidays certainly are a tough time especially for me being almost 30 and have never had any type of date or romantic relationship. I still haven't even had my first kiss. How sad is that? I know I shouldn't be perpetuating my negative thoughts and experiences, but it's incredibly difficult. I've recently had yet another failure in the dating world, asked this girl out, got no reply for a week unitl she just sent a random pic of her cat. She never mentions it whenever I see her, it feels like she's hoping I'll forget and just not bring it up. 1 part of that is true, I haven't and don't want to bring it up because I know it will stir the toxic pool of repressed emotions and I don't want to "snap" at her. I also dislike being at home with my family as I don't feel emotionally secure to open up around them. They have their lives sorted and are/have been successful and I'm still working a dead end 9-5 and have this second life I pick up when I leave the house that I hate having to leave behind every time I drive home. That sounds awful because your family should always be there for you, but it doesn't feel that way now. I want to tell my friends this but I don't because we are usually on a voice chat and I don't want my family to hear the crap that I'm feeling due to my upbringing and how my brother was and has always been the golden child and was pushed to greatness while I was the screw up and was never pushed to succeed. I was always ridiculed for poor performance in school compared to my brothers straight A's and that he's never had to work for anything in his life.
On a brighter note, I'm happy I've found your content Matt, your kind words before the 10th advice actually pulled out some tears. Genuinely thank you for that, I needed that out.
They always say when you least expect it they will show up !
I have to stop looking
But always be careful! I stopped looking, and when I least expected it, a malignant narcissist popped into my life.
Thank you!!! ❤
I don't think I've ever felt so seen as in this video.
It's been 3 years since my abusive lying cheating addicted ex husband walked out. I'm 50. Have had 2 relationships with guys that were so unsuitable it was gross.
I've seen many friends try for years to find someone. It just doesn't work. I've got more chance of winning Lotto
Dating in 40s-50s is a different animal. Matthew should do a show on that. Men & women have more demons & past trauma they carry with them. I don’t mind the past trauma (I have it too), it’s how they cope with it. Lack of self awareness and only wanting sex seems to be the norm from my experience anyway.
@susanwhalls6230 absolutely agree with you. And it would be brilliant if Matthew could do a show on dating in 40s & 50s. It's everything you describe. I have trauma too, like you describe, and I don't mind it in others either but it's all the other gunk that is such a nightmare
6:22 leave your behind in the past 6:50
I’m so tired of men wanting to talk about sex constantly before even meeting. So over it. It’s disappointing talking to someone a few times on the phone & then having to move on because they can’t seem to ask any questions other than sex related.. & these are men in their 50s.. wtf such a turn off.
60s and 70s too, it never stops.
@@susanparkes5096
Right.. lol
Yup.
How do you know if a man is the right person? Especially when you are in a relationship?
I def feel alone. But this helps
Hey Matthew
Nothing to do with this video but after having my boyfrind over to my parents at Christmas because he couldn't go to his, I was wondering if you could give advice for family meetings with your partner. We manage it in a way but it was difficult. Also because my boyfrind is black and he struggled with othersisam from a frew members of my withe family. And my mom ingenerell has an issue with sensibility and bonderys. And for me it was difficult to be there for him while also talking to my three sisters how I don't see that offten. I think thoughs and acsampels of difficulties when partner and family are meeting would be wonderful