Jschlatt tells the start of jokes (SMP #57 Highlight)

Jschatt thinks it would be funnier to only tell the start of his jokes.
Surprisingly, Carson didn't fit this in the UA-cam video: • I held a Minecraft Tal...
From CallMeCarson's SMP Talent Show stream: / 472832562
(video is not monetized)

[@slig4656]

It’s just a man slowly fading into hysteria while telling people about his miserable life

[@justanotherperson3076]

Where are the replies

[@chickenpurple6704]

@@justanotherperson3076 d e l e t e t h i s

[@chickenpurple6704]

@@jaydenhunter4634 s t o p . n o b o d y c a r e s

[@sterlingzaire9224]

I dont mean to be so offtopic but does someone know of a way to get back into an instagram account?
I was dumb forgot my login password. I appreciate any help you can offer me

[@maverickmohammad4375]

@Sterling Zaire instablaster :)

[@jjshwa]

no one else in the world could possibly make this funny

[@qlus]

He has such good composure to keep doing that monotone voice

[@MyNameIs8Ball]

I think it’s mostly because of the corrupt businessman character he plays, ya know, usually cheery never calm and then this stone cold voice telling incomplete jokes is like a sock to the noggin

[@timewellspent8137]

Norm McDonald could do pretty good

[@tonyniko1494]

Maybe Dave Chappelle

[@FitnessLoco]

JJShwa swaggersouls and raccoon eggs

[@roun6479]

“When there’s a will..”
*_stares blankly at wilbur_*

[@SevaHacks]

there's a bur

[@xp3r670]

*where

[@sean6809]

Can’t believe Carson left it out of his video

[@AlterTheStream]

Ikr? Best part of the stream other than Wilbur's song

[@bencatzilla]

maybe to give exposure to others?

[@soda_0162]

yea

[@frozone2366]

Is not his fault somebody else edits his videos

[@frozone2366]

Akame Is Bored yeah they switch it.

[@firslas2522]

I will never have the satisfaction of rewatching this blind

[@qquanzaa]

this is so accurate

[@shmuel5352]

I regret not getting high before watching this

[@demonindenim]

jokes on you i’m blind

[@janeseymour3872]

Demon In Denim if you’re blind how can you hear this video? checkmate

[@robbob6242]

@@janeseymour3872 with his ears

[@cowboybebabs]

traves laughing at every single one is so cute omg

[@imhereo]

ᴀɢʀᴇᴇ

[@denex847]

he sounds like he's 11

[@ryantyanmyan2528]

deaner847 he is 11

[@robbob6242]

he sounds like he's 11

[@robbob6242]

deaner847 he is 11

[@doofs]

Y'see this is why they call him Mr.

[@horacioquiroga290]

ok dirk

[@doofs]

@@horacioquiroga290 if you're saying that cause of the glasses, they're actually a reference to gurren lagann not homestuck lmao.
Ironically though Bros entire character was based off Kamina from gurren lagann.

[@timewellspent8137]

@@doofs ok Sasuke

[@doofs]

@@timewellspent8137 FRICK

[@bradenmoore2187]

ok Kakyoin

[@sockmonkey1994]

I hope that a year from now they have another talent show and he tells just the punchlines

[@theredvelveteer4721]

if you go to the full stream, he does in fact do that and it's even funnier
*h e d g e h o g s , e h ?*

[@timewellspent8137]

-I never knew ny real ladder

[@cyberfalcon2872]

@@theredvelveteer4721 I swear I read your coment and he sayd it at the same time

[@banana4360]

@@cyberfalcon2872 same here too wtf

[@Godzillatronus2021]

Alexander TG he did in the video

[@TweetTweet17]

I have so much respect for Schlatt holding in his laughter to make this so much better.

[@Solaire_of_Astora13]

I wonder if he just muted his mic while he wasn't talking so that he could laugh his ass off

[@itsyaboiguzma]

Jschlatt is the true alpha male

[@frozone2366]

It's Ya Boi Guzma you probably didn’t know about him since before smp live

[@itsyaboiguzma]

@@frozone2366 I found him via Elon are you okay? That was my first jschlatt experience.

[@eddieobrien3917]

Frozone why does that matter anyways?

[@frozone2366]

It's Ya Boi Guzma oh so okay sorry.

[@frozone2366]

Eddie O'Brien nothing just wondering

[@qlus]

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline

[@balano2861]

HAHAHAHAAAHAHA

[@billiam105]

Was she hopping mad?

[@ironpro7217]

@@billiam105 no

[@calebsherman886]

I've just written a song about tortillas.

[@qlus]

@@calebsherman886 of course I should clean my windows

[@imasiontist653]

Why am I laughing at this. Schlatt please stop.

[@smthnbatey]

Grum

[@imasiontist653]

@@smthnbatey Mobs (short for mobiles)

[@lavishmarlin4056]

Grum if you're there rotate that face

[@Its_That1Guy]

G R U M

[@ezrapaul6808]

Hey this is the guy that invented minectaft, marcus person

[@theorca4418]

In schlatts perspective the llama made everything 10 times funnier

[@NovaAeternus]

perhaps

[@epicgamer9766]

This went on for like 30 minutes

[@grubbu7073]

2 hours actually. He did that for the rest of his stream.

[@epicgamer9766]

Crubba Grubba Schlatt is the ultimate internet funny man.

[@claustrophobicmole867]

Whats the stream?

[@epicgamer9766]

someone with 10 shoes The smp live talent show stream.

[@claustrophobicmole867]

@@epicgamer9766 thx

[@Ninjairon6661]

*you can never lose a homeless person*

[@todorokiisbaby9721]

*silence*

[@freddywoll9707]

The mood is so sad but funny at the same time

[@Outside998]

His delivery is the best part about it.

[@aperture102]

Throwing acid is wrong in someone else's eyes.
I've spent the past four years trying to find my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it.
My girlfriend said to go out and get her something that makes her look sexy, so I came back drunk.
Where there's a will, there's a relative.
I’ve just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline, she really hit the roof.
You can never lose a homing pigeon, if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
The first time I bought a universal remote control, i thought to myself, "Now this changes everything!"
Say what you want about deaf people.

[@castafiorept7309]

Hedgehogs, eh?

[@ezrapaul6808]

Youve ruined this

[@calebsherman886]

Ok cool now explain "The potato goes in the front."

[@daniellethaxton6800]

Homing pigeon? I thought he said homeless person.

[@dovesoap6315]

​@@calebsherman886 A man goes to the beach in a wetsuit, hoping to impress the ladies there. To his dismay, no one seems interested. Then, an old man comes up to him and asks, "Are you trying to get lucky with a girl?" to which the man replies affirmatively. The old man grins, and leans over to say, "Well, you'll get their attention if you do as I say. Those wetsuits aren't very nice on the eyes. Speedos are getting popular now. You know, those tiny tight ones. So grab yourself one of those and toss a fist-sized potato in there before heading to the beach. That'll get their attention."
So the man does as he's told, and goes home to buy a speedo. He puts a fist sized potato in it before returning to the beach. Once again, he does not get the attention of any women. Instead, he gets weird looks and avoided by most people. When he goes back to the man, the man seems upset. "You idiot!" he cries. "The potato goes in the front!"

[@biggreen4281]

This continued on after the talent show with just Schlatt, Travis and technoblade just as good as these ones

[@timewellspent8137]

Vod?

[@cashmoneychey]

Time Well Spent you can find that part in “the show must go on smplive” on Travis’s twitch channel

[@destinydynamites]

@@cashmoneychey where can i find this now? :0

[@Ecliptor.]

schlatt has the double edged blessing of making you laugh no matter what he says

[@ilikefarting]

he DOUBLE EDGED?

[@tiffanypham8746]

2:33 THE LLAMA NODDED adcfgkhljrgsdf

[@kattisc3778]

In schlatts perspective the llama stares him dead in the eyes everytime he tells a bit

[@razormarkz]

Ye its stroke time

[@snickers8266]

Holy sheiiet

[@znazzy]

*ive just written a song about tortillas*

[@vivimos_en_una_sociedad7758]

It's more of a rap really

[@blackbird2703]

to think that this man sounds burnt out and tired and STILL be able to crack me up like Travis is a phenomenon beyond my understanding

[@AlterTheStream]

the potato goes in the front

[@ryancooper4874]

Wood fired pizza

[@mugiwara8166]

Nice

[@frenchwaffl]

Thank you

[@themustardman219]

So last night I was sitting in the back of my car.

[@brotherbruti]

Man, it was 4am at that point and I was just sitting alone in my room, in the dark, crying and barely able to breathe.
I still don't understand how he made that funny.

[@purpledeath12345]

Hedgehogs, ay?

[@alex-fk1eq]

-nod-

[@thehotdog128]

“I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner” is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard

[@mericle123]

The moment you realize that schlatt is actually a genius

[@boomdacow6520]

JSchlatt is literally a Harvard Graduate

[@residual]

It sounds like a legitimate diary

[@asianbutstupid1437]

ok

[@botcharles1193]

People outside of America: "what's freedom of speech?"
People in the U.S.: 3:15

[@InvertedAlex]

I forgot that everyone laughed at that so i found it extremely funny when everyone started laughing

[@morningboy_]

“There’s no domestic violence going on.”
**death stares Carson**

[@beek.4860]

That sure aged great

[@8bittyRae]

These sound like high school writing prompts.

[@shadow-wo7fr]

I watched this live at like 230am and I was dying lmao.

[@jack_of_all_1565]

Jokes... or ramblings of a madman.

[@autopsydoll]

travis's laugh is so precious ok

[@triggeredweeb111]

McKenna Wangen IT REALLY IS

[@qlus]

I love jschlatt

[@SkrappyQ]

traves going absolutely wild for these really makes my day

[@amazingamer360]

Regardless of what half of the joke you leave out, it's still funny as hell
_"Say what you want."_
VS
*"i never knew my **_real_** ladder..."*

[@peyk47]

*_hedgehogs eh?_*

[@prasangurungg]

I wish this went on forever

[@loobly]

There's no domestic violence going on here.

[@CausticFoil]

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence.
...
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books.
...
Atheism.

[@wormsogle7692]

The Joker (2019)

[@pizzadelivery3]

"where there's a will..."

[@anonymouscucumbers9752]

I said that’s not a camel, that’s my wife.

[@BigboyBeanieboy]

"Hedgehogs eh?"

[@menameMid]

JUST WHY, W H Y
WHY I LAUGH SO HARD WHEN HE GOES :
...

[@yassercolon1566]

This level of comedic expertise is irreplaceable

[@freemindstuff6016]

Comedy gold

[@phenadoz-topicmusic8122]

You left out the "How's Pizza Gonna get a Job Now?" Part of Schlatts act

[@prodbykaji]

*God slowly glides down from heaven*
w h e r e t h e r e s a w i l l

[@isleofdead1337]

Should have showed Wilbur’s perspective

[@frenchwaffl]

cupcake 12
Link?

[@notklouds-3177]

Just his presence makes me laugh, I don’t know what it is? It might be his comedic timing or just his mc skin.. or his dead pan stare and monotone voice. I JUST DON’T KNOW

[@Steven_Stanton_Music]

I think this was the first time I ever cried laughing

[@jaybirdgeorge]

I need a clip of "Hedgehog.. eh?"

[@Dat__Cat]

I use to be like this all the time, thank you for the start of my rebirth

[@prodBIGTIME]

This is pure comedy gold. Love Schlatt.

[@victoryguard]

"Sticks and stones may break my bones."

[@monsieurbacteria1977]

It never gets old

[@blail9382]

This is just Stephen Wright but without the best part of his comedy and yet it’s somehow funnier

[@evoretproject]

Traves laugh is so cute omg

[@Stonkzy]

This gets me everytime

[@joytimberlake1943]

This is the greatest video i have ever witnessed in my life

[@SirIronOW]

This is the best moment from SMP Live hands down.

[@vrxy367]

i never knew my real ladder

[@origami4542]

Traves being a giggly wiggly

[@frenchwaffl]

This is what I was looking for

[@-Jidanazpratamadermawan]

Fucking Travis contagious laugh

[@declanisgaming2887]

I asked god for a bike

[@lenaswagpeng]

The tale of a sad man

[@blank8058]

i shouldn’t have laughed at this as much as i have

[@MrEyes-xh4bb]

i need a subreddit that has more of these types of jokes

[@Sonicthehedgeho4]

They should make another one of this but its just the punchlines, so only people who remember the jokes can laugh at them lol

[@alexwilson1757]

His face makes it so much better😂

[@crkyn]

His monotone voice makes it 100% better

[@K0uUraki]

So stupid and I love it.

[@jennings4951]

Travis: * loses his shit *
Carson: what?
Travis: the *llama*

[@michaelroach3175]

this is the equivalent of Andy Kaufman getting on stage and Eating a bowl of cereal

[@cpt.waddledoo4645]

This sounds like im listening to a guy answer a really strange phone call

[@OrangeLapiz]

The best part is that Schlatt is the only person that could have made this as funny as it was

[@janeseymour3872]

travis is so baby i- baby boy. i love he.

[@AmeliaRosalinaTheHedgehog]

This is so funny and hilarious

[@jesseheard]

This inspired a video on my channel. ❤️ Thanks schlatt

[@jouji3608]

Brother: What are you laughing at?
Me: You wouldn't get it, it's pretty complicated.
Also me:

[@Masterful]

"MY wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline" is the funniest shit ever when you really think about it.

[@beth-gy6ij]

the fact that wilbur was also dying of laughter just muted makes it 10x better

[@fuzzygori11a57]

I miss this server

[@AmirHajri]

Wilber is laughing way to hard

[@fartsharter]

he shouldve done wood fired pizza

[@bn-cw8ln]

he did later

[@fartsharter]

@@bn-cw8ln no i was there

[@bn-cw8ln]

@@fartsharter he said "how's pizza gonna get a job now?" eventually

[@fartsharter]

@@bn-cw8ln damn i dont remember it

[@dontwaketheneighborsgaming6327]

Love him or hate him he's speaking straight facts there

[@castafiorept7309]

*WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY*
EDIT: OW IT HURTS

[@viirv3130]

Where there's a will,

[@Explode2010]

I aspire to be as funny as this guy

[@Chupas]

I preffered when he only said the end of the jokes

[@Lauren-hinrichsen]

I love how you can just hear Wilbur dying

[@ryyyan4795]

_Hedgehogs, eh?_

[@meme-rc2sg]

I saw a sign that said wood fired pizza...

[@valantisalatsas7249]

it felt like listening to an npc saying his random things

[@chconly6700]

another thing about this is now you have to try & figure out what the punchline actually is