How We Lie to Ourselves

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
  • We are liars of genius when it comes to hiding uncomfortable facts from ourselves. But there’s real wisdom in understanding how we manage to deceive ourselves - and real utility in learning to be a little bit more honest with ourselves.
    Enjoying our UA-cam videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: t.ly/6rru0
    Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: t.ly/9LIIW
    FURTHER READING
    You can read more on this and other subjects here: goo.gl/jTpdUS
    MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
    Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
    bit.ly/TSOLself
    SOCIAL MEDIA
    Feel free to follow us at the links below:
    Facebook: / theschooloflifelondon
    X: / theschooloflife
    Instagram: / theschooloflifelondon
    CREDITS
    Produced in collaboration with:
    Khyan Mansley
    / khyan1
    / khyan #TheSchoolOfLife

КОМЕНТАРІ • 514

  • @khouloud755
    @khouloud755 7 років тому +190

    "Lying to our selves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others. " Fyodor Dostoyevsky

    • @Yotrymp
      @Yotrymp 7 років тому +2

      Is that from "The Idiot"?

    • @rexzhang9942
      @rexzhang9942 24 дні тому

      @@Yotrymp The Brothers Karamazov

  • @mmm59mmm
    @mmm59mmm 7 років тому +498

    Sometimes u need to hit rock bottom to wake up and realize that lying to yourself is the most toxic thing you can do.

    • @meadowrae1491
      @meadowrae1491 7 років тому +5

      So true. We find ourselves in our shadows.

    • @arkman2237
      @arkman2237 7 років тому +1

      Matt at that bottom of life, the point when you cannot hide that lie anymore, that's the moment when true enlightenment can happen, and I often think about this what do we need to beat ourselves to that point to understand the lie we're living

    • @magnuserror9305
      @magnuserror9305 7 років тому +1

      Matt Boi, u will always lie no matter wut. Ur run by so many things. Ur "free will" is none existent. If you want to eat it is because of your stomach telling u to eat and what to eat. Pretty much every move u make is done by factors we bearly fully know yet. You are but a clueless living deed thing that is made up of many deed things that make many living things into one sort of not dead thing, that has the nerve to claim it has free will.

    • @channelforpositivitylunder9385
      @channelforpositivitylunder9385 7 років тому +1

      Realization and acknowledgement is the first step to solving a problem so first step DONE

    • @mmm59mmm
      @mmm59mmm 7 років тому

      First step DONE indeed :)

  • @thevictimofawhale1684
    @thevictimofawhale1684 7 років тому +545

    Damn the animation on this one is crazy

    • @robertanimrod1191
      @robertanimrod1191 7 років тому +53

      ResmaDnB UK ikr, so realistic

    • @Slendermanfreak
      @Slendermanfreak 7 років тому +18

      holy shit ur right its absolutely STUNNING

    • @overlyasian3488
      @overlyasian3488 7 років тому +4

      i don't know, guys, this was made long after cory white house de chou taihen, but that anime had a more appealing style and fluid animations, in my opinion. you would assume that something that was made in 2017 would be better animated.

    • @Nobody-pv9jt
      @Nobody-pv9jt 7 років тому

      Overly Asian lmao

    • @thevictimofawhale1684
      @thevictimofawhale1684 7 років тому

      Overly Asian I don't really care about the animation that arc was trash I'd much rather forget that anime existed

  • @tjs9876
    @tjs9876 7 років тому +169

    Awkward party...

    • @linkoln_sosias
      @linkoln_sosias 7 років тому +7

      this is the weirdest thing on their channel, why is everyone so normal about this video in the comments lol

    • @kobathedread
      @kobathedread 7 років тому +8

      I'm going to slip into something more comfortable..........like a taxi

    • @cesarandrade1987
      @cesarandrade1987 7 років тому

      See Festen. Or Melancholia. THOSE are awkward parties.

    • @ry8246
      @ry8246 7 років тому +1

      Aren't all our parties are like this?
      They simply magnified the problems in this video.

    • @daweller
      @daweller 7 років тому

      César Andrade I got you beat.. Watch 'happiness' if you want awkward

  • @yesmineab1690
    @yesmineab1690 7 років тому +67

    I convinced myself I had no more feelings for him. I convinced myself I have commitment issues. Why? Because I am afraid. Afraid of being hurt, but also afraid of being loved.

    • @NebachadnezzaR
      @NebachadnezzaR 7 років тому +8

      "Afraid of being loved"
      Cliché as that sounds, it's painfully true for a lot of us. I spent so long being deathly scared of rejection, before finally realising that what really terrified me was the possibility of someone else actually loving me. Still working on my almost non-existing self love, but at least now I know why all those crushes failed terribly. Deep down I never gave them a chance

    • @dajdasdq
      @dajdasdq 7 років тому +1

      Wow, I can relate so much. I used to friendzone girls that liked/loved me without even noticing that. I was just rejecting them. Probably because I wasn't capable of loving and accepting myself. I still struggle with this, though.
      Now, I've finally come across someone who has had the same experience in life. Thank you for your comment :)

    • @yesmineab1690
      @yesmineab1690 7 років тому

      NebachadnezzaR there are realities in clichés I guess

    • @yesmineab1690
      @yesmineab1690 7 років тому +1

      Nikolai Shulgin not one human experience is exclusive, which is scary but reassuring

    • @yesmineab1690
      @yesmineab1690 7 років тому

      no some will

  • @diegowushu
    @diegowushu 7 років тому +109

    Damn, this hit home. All scenarios made me somewhat uncomfortable and weird. Good job.

    • @coreycox2345
      @coreycox2345 7 років тому

      They are good, Melancholic Thug. Some days I wonder if I have been brainwashed into a cult.

    • @bolivar1789
      @bolivar1789 7 років тому +2

      +coreycox2345
      Hello there! I wanted to confess you that I have seen all of the 538 videos from this channel. And I really don't feel like I am brain washed at all! :- ) It has been an invaluable source of wisdom and enrichment for me. We should never be afraid of knowledge. We all have the capacity to judge and decide whether we can use these insights for our lives or not. In order to go through a " brain wash" you should be separated from your family and friends and be indoctrinated 24/7 for quite some time. Watching two youtube videos a week, 10 minutes all together, will never harm you :- )
      I am just saying, so that you can enjoy these videos without fearing anything.
      Hope to see you under another video. Have a nice weekend :- )

    • @astarkman3752
      @astarkman3752 7 років тому

      I don't know i'm getting a very cult vibe from this person. Very friendly, I dont trust those smilies

    • @coreycox2345
      @coreycox2345 7 років тому

      A Starkman I suspected that this was the work of an anonymous madman who has been trying to brainwash me. I am determined to manage my own critical thinking. Whatever.

    • @bolivar1789
      @bolivar1789 7 років тому +1

      A starkman
      This is how far we have come in this world...If you are kind you become suspicious..How sad really.

  • @bradywade7123
    @bradywade7123 7 років тому +37

    All of your videos all so valuable. The hard part is remembering the advice constantly and implementing it into our lives.

  • @PersonalPower
    @PersonalPower 7 років тому +15

    We dont want to change ourselves.
    We don't want to change our circumstances.
    We don't want others to change too drastically.
    We simply hate change, because it requires effort and open mindedness.
    I try to be open minded, I try to deal with constant feedback but it does not work all the time.
    I find myself so often telling myself some nonsense, but in that moment I still believe it and react to it.

  • @TheGearShots
    @TheGearShots 7 років тому +184

    I often tell myself it’s ok to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every time my tummy rumbles...

    • @ワラッセまけんし
      @ワラッセまけんし 7 років тому +8

      The GearShots stay strong warrior

    • @sebastianelytron8450
      @sebastianelytron8450 7 років тому +12

      Really? If that's your biggest problem in life you live one hell of a blessed life.

    • @3LinkTriforce
      @3LinkTriforce 7 років тому +3

      I might be missing a joke here, but I will take it seriously nonetheless: Well, I think it might indicate some other troubles or worries. While it might sound like something simple, silly or not-important, it could in reality feel as or be something much more serious and troubling. Alright, I've had my say; cheers, all~! :)

    • @AurorXZ
      @AurorXZ 7 років тому +4

      This is why I love UA-cam comments.

    • @PewDePieeReal
      @PewDePieeReal 7 років тому +4

      does this involve weight or is this a joke i missed

  • @labril1553
    @labril1553 7 років тому +252

    School of life it's my third parent

    • @AsiaThinks
      @AsiaThinks 7 років тому +11

      my first, actually

    • @AtheistsGoneWild_Arthur
      @AtheistsGoneWild_Arthur 7 років тому +2

      I wish they were my grandparents parents.

    • @HelgaCavoli
      @HelgaCavoli 7 років тому +1

      We're parents of someone else. Imagine the change.

  • @lucimicle5657
    @lucimicle5657 7 років тому +85

    I really like reading comments on this channel. Seeing in a way people with similar thoughts.

    • @lucimicle5657
      @lucimicle5657 7 років тому +2

      Jameske87 it usualy does. In normal yt channels.

  • @KALAMARK0
    @KALAMARK0 7 років тому +57

    The person that started acting all defensive is the most typical one i see, it might be just because its the easiest to see and because my mom does it a lot. She is a designer and illustrator and she sometimes asks me for my opinion and im a pretty honest person so I tell her the truth and many times she acts defensive and yet she keeps asking for my opinion. Strange, how the mind works.

    • @F22onblockland
      @F22onblockland 7 років тому +10

      It appears that you're offering pretty good advice if she keeps coming back for more lmao.

    • @monchosalce
      @monchosalce 7 років тому +1

      Well I agree with the other comment. Maybe she gets defensive at the moment to avoid immediate pain, as the video suggest, but later she would think about it and find it useful and then comeback for more advice. Keep being honest.

  • @luckyyuri
    @luckyyuri 7 років тому +3

    The School of Life is a huge step forward in human society. It teaches us all the important things that public institutions failed to.

  • @icieWindSnitram
    @icieWindSnitram 7 років тому +46

    I lie to myself about friends. I believe they will all go away. So I don't need them. I lie about feeling good about my body, I'm fat and I want to be pretty again. I lie about being the strongest emotionally, I just want someone to take care of me. I'm tired of being the one in charge.

    • @tpsam
      @tpsam 7 років тому +5

      The topic made me recall L monsters speech. Do you know death note? L said we humans are lying monsters we pretend to have a lot of popularity but in reality we feel lonely. We eat but we aren't hungry. And he goes on listing humans contradictory habits

    • @coreycox2345
      @coreycox2345 7 років тому +1

      Don't tell me some imbecile is trying to shame you, icieWind Snitram?

    • @Handlename735
      @Handlename735 7 років тому

      haha this is so weird. I read in the comments before that someone likes reading comments on this channel because they come across people who really feel similar. And I'm like yea maybe but also all I'm reading is pretty general and expected. And then I read your comment and I get kinda startled with each word how so similar I'm feeling nowadays. It's like I was sleep walking and I wrote these words.

  • @SaltySparrow
    @SaltySparrow 7 років тому +10

    The Manic Happiness is the saddest one. Their pain is so masked and people often don't see through it.

    • @galenvejkengdjor7718
      @galenvejkengdjor7718 6 років тому

      danekarl True. It is sad because maybe it's what happens to someone around us, but it can be more difficult to recognize, so we can't help very much.

  • @Morphick
    @Morphick 7 років тому +4

    I'm happy TSOL is trending -- it's exactly what this world needs most right now

  • @mkultra85
    @mkultra85 7 років тому +57

    I regret that I had my speakers out loud

  • @cenajohn2140
    @cenajohn2140 7 років тому +17

    I feel srry 4 ppl who listened without earphones and volume at full

  • @joey6608
    @joey6608 7 років тому +101

    IM SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW

  • @bolivar1789
    @bolivar1789 7 років тому +7

    1. My mother loves to talk about her prison days in Mecca!
    I am so sorry that she ended up in jail back then, but frankly, it was all her fault. But there is something very charming and interesting about the way she denies it. Of course, the lies we tell ourselves are always more beautiful than the reality they replace.
    So my mother doesn't obey any rules she herself hadn't set. That's why on that journey she didn't care that her visa was expired. She wanted to stay longer , so she did. One day she got assaulted by two thieves.
    Then the police came and the thieves accused my mother of being the thief! She doesn't speak Arabic, so she couldn't defend herself.
    She didn't even had her passport with her so they took her to jail. Imagine to be locked up in a foreign country where you don't know anybody! Besides, she had no idea how long she was going to stay there.
    But she was convinced that it was all organised by God, for her to have the experience, to meet the people there, to suffer, to endure and to prove her faith to Him no matter what disasters life brings.
    Some days later a man from the Turkish embassy visited her in prison. She explained to him that she was innocent. And when he asked her how she was doing she said:
    " I am very fine. I am observing the people here."
    Two weeks later she got out, escorted by the police to the airport and sent back home to Turkey.
    Imagine how humiliating all this can be, for a woman in her sixties.. But she went through all that like the hero of a drama extra written for her by God.
    Unfortunately I am not a believer, but I do envy all the possibilities of consolation, that the believers have. My mother will never have to ask:
    " Why me ?".
    Instead she will firmly say:
    " Precisely me" , because God wanted it for me.
    Oh and in my case, I could only say: " Why NOT me ? Anything can happen to me anytime....And as Seneca says: A ship may also sink at the port...."
    Well, indeed, if it doesn't hurt anybody, sometimes, it may be alright to avoid the truth. I would never recommend my mother my approach. If a person successfully deludes herself, and you have nothing better to offer her instead, you may also let that be. Of course on this channel there is a great lesson on this subject too:
    " Can lying ever be kind"
    In some strange cases like my mother's, this may even apply to the lies we tell ourselves...
    2. And here is the joke I love the most on this subject:
    " So there is this guy who suspects that his wife cheats on him. He hires a private detective to find out what's going on. After one week of a business trip he comes back and asks to the detective:
    - So what have you seen?
    - Sir, the first day when you were gone, your wife met this very handsome young man. And then they went to a fancy restaurant. After that they went to see a movie. After the movie, late at night, they went to your place , right to your bedroom. Then they hugged each other.
    - And then ??
    - Then they closed the curtains.
    So the husband says:
    - God damn it! You pay a fortune to a private detective and even then, you can't be absolutely sure!!
    3. The best cure for this is Alain de Botton's "Philosophical Meditation". You must watch the video they have made about it.
    Sorry that this comment got out of control and became too long :- )
    Thank you for this very valuable lesson!

  • @slayagecentral
    @slayagecentral 7 років тому +31

    As always, thanks for the mirror!

  • @megsarbacker2565
    @megsarbacker2565 6 років тому +2

    the maniac happiness one hit me hard. i’ve always thought that i was that kind of crazy happy person and mental illness brings me down, but it honestly might be a coping skill when times get rough because it will come out of the blue

  • @NoirRaven
    @NoirRaven 7 років тому +14

    I don't care for the insinuation that when we decry something as weird or disgusting, we're secretly into that thing for that kind of thinking leads to opening too many Pandoran boxes and invalidating many righteous movements.

    • @io8993
      @io8993 7 років тому

      Fear breeds curiosity.

    • @djchonny
      @djchonny 7 років тому +5

      NoirRaven I allways hated that train of tought! x). It's a cheap way to try to invalidate someone's opinion. Even tho the girl was over-acting to make the point, it's not a Smart way of thinking.

    • @TickingClocks
      @TickingClocks 7 років тому +1

      NoirRaven I don't think that's what the video is saying, though. It might be what people take from it but all the vid's saying is that criticizing something CAN be used to hide one's own shameful feelings. It wasn't saying that's always the case. However, I can see people watching this and thinking that every time someone gets a little too self righteous, they can just invalidate what they're saying by going "the only reason you're saying that is because you probably secretly like it" which is extremely annoying. Like you said, thinking like that can get in the way of movements.
      Using hypercriticism as a defense mechanism is probably used far less than genuinely believing a thing is wrong, but it does happen. Think of how many people decry, for instance, the LGBT community, but that's only because they're gay themselves.

  • @liamfitzpatrick6358
    @liamfitzpatrick6358 7 років тому +8

    The message is good, but not complete and wrong in some cases. We lie to ourselves because we choose comfort over risk.
    If I'm making music and have a decent fanbase and income from my songs or albums I might tell myself that trying something else won't work and I don't need to do that anyway.
    Assuming this is a lie (aka using the fact that I play/produce music as the reason about why an idea about changing the way I make music is wrong), then the reason we tell the lie is to save ourselves from the possibility of financial instability and loss of fans/rejection.
    The message of the video is "Facing up to your lies leads to growth", but if I am lying to myself about having a romantic attraction to my opposite gendered best friend out of fear of never being friends again or if I'm using my known musical experience as a misdirection so i don't have to take a risky move with my production or whatever, being truthful in either situation can backfire or else we would fucking ask our best friend out and stop using voice synthesisers.

  • @Missing_Balloon
    @Missing_Balloon 7 років тому +71

    The biggest lie I told myself was that I was straight

  • @luioef7831
    @luioef7831 7 років тому +142

    Click every single video you see from these guys

    • @sebastianelytron8450
      @sebastianelytron8450 7 років тому +1

      TSOL? Yeah sure, teach me about the "pleasures of outdoor sex!" LOL some vids are great, some ridiculous

    • @ayshb2150
      @ayshb2150 7 років тому

      +Sebastian Elytron Censorious, are we?

    • @sebastianelytron8450
      @sebastianelytron8450 7 років тому

      A B No, just fucking sick of people lauding the School of Life like it's some Godsend that never puts a foot wrong and is always relevant to their lives. Decent UA-cam channel, but no more than that.

    • @ayshb2150
      @ayshb2150 7 років тому +2

      +Sebastian Elytron if so many people find it relevant to their lives, it must be relevant.

    • @Afternoon_Delights
      @Afternoon_Delights 7 років тому +2

      "if so many people find it relevant to their lives, it must be relevant" or maybe it's just a way of avoiding things that are relevant.

  • @wolfgangromine8341
    @wolfgangromine8341 7 років тому +15

    Could you make a video about Relationship Anxiety and how to cope with it? I'd love to see it.

    • @coin2039
      @coin2039 7 років тому

      Wolfgang Romine They have some videos that talk about this subject, I think you'll be able to find them on their video list.

  • @Lalala-fz2ci
    @Lalala-fz2ci 7 років тому +29

    My whole life is a lie.

  • @therambler3713
    @therambler3713 7 років тому +1

    another jewel from the school of life, I've been feeling down lately and this video helped me realize that its got allot to do with the fact that I haven't been very honest with myself lately. Thank you school of life.!)

  • @ActingParissY
    @ActingParissY 7 років тому +5

    Amazing job! I have been following your channel for a while and your content has molded my ideologies about life. Thank you for helping me learn 😊.

  • @KeshAndrew
    @KeshAndrew 7 років тому +2

    The School of Life is not thanked enough for such incredible videos.

  • @juanmiguelretuta3462
    @juanmiguelretuta3462 6 років тому +1

    I often lie to myself that I like something just to make it easier to do well in it. I forced myself to love Physics because I wasn't doing well in class and now that I'm in Engineering, something makes me feel like I don't really belong.

  • @Shay45
    @Shay45 7 років тому

    Feeling offended takes up all our attention. It muddies the waters. When we are defensive, we no longer pay attention to information that may - at its heart - be correct but challenging.

  • @LillySayYeah
    @LillySayYeah 7 років тому

    Today it's my birthday, and this actually made me feel like I can change things for good, since I'm only 22, thank you school of life.

  • @Fasdaff01
    @Fasdaff01 7 років тому +7

    I agree with that guy at the end. There's nothing more important to me than space in my apartment. That's why I prefer 2D women; the only space they take up is on my hard drive.

  • @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446
    @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 7 років тому

    As we pursue the truths of ourselves, let's not forget these lies are told with the best of intentions, and should be dealt with cautiously and respectfully.

  • @Phantumix
    @Phantumix 7 років тому +31

    Fam use headphones

  • @nikolademitri731
    @nikolademitri731 7 років тому

    This is a great video, and necessary for out narcissistic times. That said, the trouble with lying to yourself, is that you typically don't realize it in the moment. That's why self-deception is so terrifying and powerful; that tendency, a very natural psychological defense mechanism made up of various self-serving biases, is hard wired in our CNS, and one typically doesn't realize (maybe can't realize) the degree of self-deception that they are exercising, until after the fact. It's one of those "hindsight is 20/20" things, really. Knowing that we all have a tendency to self-deceive, and understanding the specific biases that function in that process is a big part of fighting self-deception, but it'll never be good enough to completely eradicate one's tendency to do so. The "need" and/or "desire" to be right, correct, better, the best, etc., in any given moment is usually so strong that even if one understands the biases, they still can't completely control how they are reacting and processing information moment to moments well enough, or in such a way as to assure that they're never engaged in self-deceit.
    If you understand how the mind/brain works, particularly how emotions function in information processing in our CNS, and subsequently understanding that science and philosophy have ruled out free will (libertarian free will, that is), then you're well aware that one can never completely overcome self-deception, because you really don't have control over it in the moment. That said, one can learn to gain immense control, and become a master at controlling these things, much better than the average joe/jane, but one can never completely achieve full control. ✌🏼

  • @djchonny
    @djchonny 7 років тому +34

    To critize something, does not mean we secretly want that. That's a dumb logic. If I Say: "The emoji movie is a piece of shit", trust me, I don't wanna watch it.

    • @Geordina
      @Geordina 7 років тому +9

      Obviously not everything we criticize stems from a hidden desire on the subject.
      The lesson focuses on looking at ourselves when we do it in extreme measures, without knowing enough about the thing.
      A bit more like encouraging us to look at ourselves and explore why we really feel so negatively on that subject.
      I frequently practice this meditative exercise of looking at why I strongly feel against something, e.g. like watching a Horror movie.
      First, I don't like Horror movies.
      Second, I'm already suffering from hyper anxiety.
      Third, I have better things to do.
      Fourth, I need to be able to sleep at night.
      ...
      Then I shift perspective, and try to find reasons for doing it.
      First, I could potentially toughen up through this experience, learn from extremes and feel good about not being in that kind of reality. (only a potential, and has never worked previously, so doesn't change my opinion)
      Second, I would have a wider range of friends who could come over and watch horror movies with me.
      (not that many people out there who only like horror movies and wouldn't be just as happy with any other genre of movie to watch, that would make me happy. Hence not worth paying much attention too)
      Third, I would feel more alive after having watched it, than I would have, having watched a comedy.
      (I watch movies in the evening to night. Being awake and anxious is not what I want before going to sleep.)
      Having done this in the past, I have occasionally been out with friends and watched a couple of horror movies. But I also know deep down, why I don't like them and why that is unlikely to change in the future.

    • @djchonny
      @djchonny 7 років тому

      The Char Lie Lhama yeah, it's so satisfing to understand why we react in a particular way to things, the surface reaction is usually a hint of something we can learn about ourselves.

    • @TickingClocks
      @TickingClocks 7 років тому

      SunTzu The video wasn't saying that. It's saying being hypercritical of something CAN be used to deny your own shameful feelings, but that doesn't mean every time you say you don't like something it means you secretly do.

    • @TickingClocks
      @TickingClocks 7 років тому

      SunTzu Nvm someone already answered! Cheers 😅

    • @djchonny
      @djchonny 7 років тому

      Yes, I see that point now. It kind of triggered me, hehe. The human physique is so strange sometimes...

  • @marisayoung796
    @marisayoung796 3 місяці тому

    Great production! The acting, music, cuts, mood and messaging - so well integrated - but especially the messaging. Kuhdooz!

  • @Confusedduckling499
    @Confusedduckling499 7 років тому

    I'm working really hard this year trying to understand and improve myself. I spend an awfully large amount of time on introspection and trying to be objective about myself. I quit porn, eat healthier, reduced alcohol and caffeine intake, meditate daily, exercise more, tried dating again after 5 years, try everything that comes my way etc.
    Unfortunately, it hasn't improved how I feel about myself at all. In fact I'm now even more acutely aware of what a pointless human I am. I don't really want to do anything with my life. I have no idea what I want anymore. I think about how glad I'll be to be dead one day. Literally never felt so bad about myself. Ignorance really is bliss.

  • @gbg7090
    @gbg7090 7 років тому

    One of the most useful videos on youtube i have come across recently. Great work.

  • @umdesch4
    @umdesch4 6 років тому

    Sometimes lies are helpful. I used to believe the lie that if I was a good person, and was confident, outgoing, assertive, funny, and interesting, it wouldn't matter how short, scrawny, and ugly I was...eventually I'd meet a woman who wanted to go out with me.
    Because I kept believing that, I met, and tried to ask out thousands of women. I always put my best foot forward, and made a lot of strangers smile, laugh, and have meaningful conversations with me.
    I'm pretty much an old man now (old enough to reject the idea of being 70 years old with teenaged kids), and I've still never been on a date. But at least I can say I tried my hardest. If I hadn't believed the lies that were told to me, and I told myself, I wouldn't have kept trying as long and as hard as I did, and now I'd have a lot of "what if I hadn't given up?" regret. At least the lies saved me from that.

  • @MustafaAlNuaimi
    @MustafaAlNuaimi 7 років тому +1

    "Living in a lie? I live in like 27 lies" George costanza.

  • @merlinsiervo
    @merlinsiervo 7 років тому +115

    Im a simple man. I see Dr. Hannah, I click

  • @jeanjiel8357
    @jeanjiel8357 7 років тому

    A few years ago,I discovered I was a filthy liar.Hardly ever lie to others but deceived myself non stop.

  • @TheSolidfoxhound
    @TheSolidfoxhound 7 років тому

    In the name of GROWTH we endure a shit ton of PAIN already.

  • @lubomier
    @lubomier 7 років тому

    Guys, you're fantastic in what you're doing. This world needs this information. Thanks.

  • @cesarmc4533
    @cesarmc4533 7 років тому

    This touched on so many open wounds, you don't eve realize. Thanks.

  • @jole0
    @jole0 7 років тому +7

    I don't lie to myself. (Get it?)

  • @robertanimrod1191
    @robertanimrod1191 7 років тому +6

    Thank you!
    I don't feel very well these days

    • @parnianx
      @parnianx 7 років тому +1

      Roberta Nimrod I hope you get put of that mood soon! Cheer up, life can be really beautiful and hard times will pass eventually! 🌺

    • @robertanimrod1191
      @robertanimrod1191 7 років тому

      Parnian thank you! That gives me hope
      I wish you all the best

  • @fredhubbard7210
    @fredhubbard7210 7 років тому

    Thanks for calling out these lies. Well done.

  • @channelforpositivitylunder9385
    @channelforpositivitylunder9385 7 років тому +4

    If only more people could and would recognize
    the mere existence of these problems ....

    • @galenvejkengdjor7718
      @galenvejkengdjor7718 6 років тому

      Channel for Positivity l Understanding l Justice I guess the majority know about these problems, but sometimes it's easier to keep doing the same (in this case lyring to ourselves) because we're afraid of changing our way of doing somehing. At least, I know that I've lied to myself for a very long time, but at the moment, I couldn't stopped because I thought that it would be catastrofic.

  • @Vape_Master69
    @Vape_Master69 7 років тому

    I often tell myself I want to conquer the world to help people, but then I laugh hysterically and have a power trip of thinking about conquering the world

  • @ShaqShalom
    @ShaqShalom 7 років тому +5

    this is sick, like too much overcomplicating life! take it easy folks, let people live natural how they are

  • @BimBachelord
    @BimBachelord 7 років тому

    Your most important video yet..., imo. And I'm a big fan who finds alot of the work produced here critical.

  • @skelletonboner
    @skelletonboner 7 років тому +109

    Thhinking about unsubscribing, while these videos always seem to speak to truth all they ever do is depress me even further.

    • @ctonellopedro
      @ctonellopedro 7 років тому +30

      Relative Reality funny you say that. I think their videos are liberating! Maybe it s the way each of us sees things!

    • @slayagecentral
      @slayagecentral 7 років тому +58

      If they depress you, it means they trigger you in some way! That could be a signal for you to get working on some things ;)

    • @skelletonboner
      @skelletonboner 7 років тому +5

      @slayagecentral Almost definately, but its difficult to say what I am supposed to do. For example, I am not as social as I would like to be, but I dont want to go against my introverted nature and force myself into situations ill be uncomfortable in. For some things there just arent ideal solutions :L

    • @slayagecentral
      @slayagecentral 7 років тому +6

      i am also an introvert and you sound verry much like my former self, dying to be social but not wanting to be uncomfertabal being social. being too much around strangers, being too much around a bunch of people is not my cup of tea, this just is one of the quirks of being an intovert. it just is the hand you have been given, acceptance is key here. only when you accept yourself with all your imperfections you can start to grow as a person. off course there is no simple trick for overcoming this. i guess it is about being bold and stepping out of your comfort zone and once out of your comfort zone, it just is going to be unpleasant for you, but if you explore those tiny steps in the growth zone, you will enhance your comfort zone. i myself have had a great deal of personal growth stepping out of my comfortzone practicing mindfulness, which has made "more social" one could say, i am still the introvert as always but i interact more with people then i ever did and i feel much more happier because of this. check the article regarding this, best of luck being an introvert in this extroverted world! ;) neurosciencenews.com/stress-social-competence-7678/

    • @skelletonboner
      @skelletonboner 7 років тому +4

      Its not the fact that I want to be social myself though, thats the thing, I get all the human interraction I need meeting friends every two weeks or so & talking with the people I live with. its other peoples needs im concerned with, Im expected to join my parents over the holidays for 2 weeks for example and my social battery usually dies by day 4. I would like it if I could be more social for them & others, thats the problem though, there is nothing to be gained for me personally by putting myself out there aside from pleasing others. And im not sure if putting on a mask is any healthier than being a bit distant (not rude mind you, just quiet), I would be lying to myself about who I am and what I want.
      Im facing a similar career problem, I have the choice between a higher paid office job and a job that seems like fun and is less emotionally draining but also less well paid. One is bad for my wealth, the other bad for my happiness. Whatever choice I make in either situation I will regret it :/ But thank you for the article nonetheless, I will read it in a bit when I have more time :)

  • @lukaso.6378
    @lukaso.6378 7 років тому

    As always, great video. Especially in this one, I think the chosen piece of music fits perfectly.

  • @rachelle2227
    @rachelle2227 7 років тому +2

    Absolutely everyone lies to themselves in some form for some reason. Even just thinking that ‘chances are’ this thing, whether good or bad, is more likely to happen, is a lie to an extent. Something that isn’t a lie is acknowledging all bits of information, and seeing the chances of something as it is, or having the idea of it open in your mind.
    There is just some point where it may become clinical, or maybe even before that point, where it should be addressed.

  • @SeanBFit
    @SeanBFit 7 років тому

    This has been the most relevant, beautiful and brutally honest thing I've seen to date.

  • @des6late_
    @des6late_ 7 років тому

    honestly expressing ones emotions isn’t as hard as we believe, just let go.

  • @ruthielalastor2209
    @ruthielalastor2209 7 років тому

    This is wonderful. Perfect for introspection. Thank you.

  • @zeon1966
    @zeon1966 6 років тому +1

    Very good, we really have to be more honest to grow.

  • @luisyike
    @luisyike 7 років тому

    Incredible material. Thank you guys.

  • @Ferelmakina
    @Ferelmakina 7 років тому

    These theatrical performances are my favourite content in the channel.

  • @willtoler6917
    @willtoler6917 7 років тому

    I've realized all of these points at age 15 and have truly understood them

  • @CasualMorgan4
    @CasualMorgan4 7 років тому +7

    Im just trying to watch a YT video, then this first guy appears to be watching porn at full blast with no headphones. Chill out

  • @KK-jo2uf
    @KK-jo2uf 6 років тому

    I lie to myself to escape reality , because reality is painful , and dream is so beautiful .
    For example :-
    I was in love with a girl but unfortunately due to circumstenses we arent able to get together , so i lie to myself that she is living with me everytime in my memory , i dream about her everytime , i know it kills productivity , and put away from reality , but i am so in it that i dont want anything else , like drugs .

  • @dmitryfedorov114
    @dmitryfedorov114 7 років тому

    Lying about life is part of the social convention, and a show of strength. If you show weakness - that is, by telling the truth - you will be made an outcast.

  • @honifit
    @honifit 7 років тому

    Very helpful and insightful. I'm always trying to learn about myself, I do lie to myself but I usually end up at some point facing my truth.

  • @KhalGT
    @KhalGT 6 років тому

    Love the new presentation form. Better than the flash moving dummies , the are distracting and noisy.
    But also we missed your voice Alan! :(

  • @treeoflife3797
    @treeoflife3797 7 років тому

    Very well put together! Bravo!

  • @TheHysek
    @TheHysek 7 років тому

    This video leads to question am I really expressing an opinion that I believe in or am I just lying to myself? It's confusing now

  • @akbarbabur
    @akbarbabur 7 років тому

    This says so much about our society and me! Surely my favorite one from school of life. Brilliance!

  • @gabrielrick5252
    @gabrielrick5252 7 років тому +1

    I really like The school of life, but many times when I finish watching videos that discuss themes about the relation of oneself to life's issues, I get quite depressed. I'll explain why. Through the school of life I learned a lot about myself, my feelings, encouraging lessons about not being ashamed of my vulnerability, and various other issues involving relationships, life challenges, and life itself. But what makes me depressed is knowing people's hypocrisy, their ignorance, even though they all share the same feelings. The world is indifferent. Although the school of life teaches us in a didactic and comforting way how to accept ourselves, and accept our reality, and the reality of how people and the world are, and how we deal with them in order to obtain a satisfying life to the fullest, we know that this does not happen. we live in an ignorant world. We are faced with reality and to get ourselves into the world we have to mold ourselves, hide our feelings, follow patterns and behaviors, deal with judgments, wear masks, prove injustice and do injustice. We can not learn to be emotionally intelligent, we have to learn by observing suffering and experiencing suffering, ultimately by living. Not reading a book or watching videos on UA-cam, this is not a criticism of the school of life. As I said, I really like The school of life. But I believe that the reality is very obscure and indifferent to the solutions proposed here.

  • @TheAlaninator856
    @TheAlaninator856 7 років тому

    I love this video. But, I have one flaw with it. As I do love to hear the truth of our flaws, I also appreciate knowing how to fix them. After all, this is the "school" of life.

  • @EmeraldEyesEsoteric
    @EmeraldEyesEsoteric 2 роки тому

    Nope. As a child I believed all liars spend eternity in the lake of fire. That doesn't mean I never lied to anyone, but after my father shot himself when I was 15 and had brought home a flue and after 3 obvious warnings I blamed myself for waking up to see him sitting on his bed naked in prayer and went back to sleep.
    I do not lie to myself to escape inner anguish because I do not seek an escape from mental pain. I prefer to suffer.
    How ironic that such an event made me completely different from the rest of humanity who do lie themselves.
    Whoever lies to himself is not a genuine truth seeker.

  • @alananderson007008
    @alananderson007008 7 років тому +7

    Damn! Everybody looked at me when those porn noises began, and I had to explain that its just an School Of life video

    • @Jamun1920
      @Jamun1920 4 роки тому

      School of Life: How to Make Life
      Bwahahaha XD

  • @AwesomeMinecraftersakuraodomMC
    @AwesomeMinecraftersakuraodomMC 7 років тому +2

    #5 ohhhh boy this one’s prevalent in the art community

  • @JNix-xh2or
    @JNix-xh2or 7 років тому

    I liked the new format. I find these behaviors to be true. I would like to see some of the hurdles and life challenges middle age brings on.

  • @theresajouaux7285
    @theresajouaux7285 6 років тому

    Best youtube video I have ever seen! Thank you!!!

  • @sjcraw
    @sjcraw 7 років тому

    What's it called when we're afraid to take joy in things because of we think we're worried we're covering up something else and can't identify it?

  • @victorcraraujo
    @victorcraraujo 7 років тому

    Thank you. This video is a part of my wake up call.

  • @andeace23
    @andeace23 7 років тому

    I also like how everyone in the video had a problem

  • @atlantabaruah
    @atlantabaruah 6 років тому

    Oh fuck. I have been calling everything boring for the last few days and you just made me realise that it is actually me who is really being boring. ugh. Life is so difficult

  • @Leotique
    @Leotique 6 років тому

    a lovely video of our inner thoughts

  • @Mozzarella-and-Tomato
    @Mozzarella-and-Tomato 7 років тому +1

    I WASN'T READY

  • @monraejan
    @monraejan 12 днів тому

    Is there then a right way to be? Or would we just be deluding ourselves if we claim to be?

  • @blackchang1981
    @blackchang1981 7 років тому +1

    I love these.

  • @Lukas-kh5gu
    @Lukas-kh5gu 7 років тому

    Damn, this taught me that I might be more defensive about many topics than I thought.

  • @utopiac679
    @utopiac679 7 років тому

    Sometimes what people are saying is just that. Face value. It's up to individuals to be honest with themselves and others; people are not mind readers and shouldn't be expected to be. Sometimes it's just not that complicated.

  • @sergiomorenorodriguez5406
    @sergiomorenorodriguez5406 7 років тому

    Thanks School of Life.

  • @ratchetl4622
    @ratchetl4622 7 років тому

    Thank you. Just thank you. Video is amazing as always

  • @arc-design845
    @arc-design845 7 років тому

    We can't know what is real until we stand outside the world as it is.

  • @asdfghjklmao
    @asdfghjklmao 7 років тому

    Sometimes I know exactly what I'm lying to myself about and why but I do it anyways

  • @beatricekarlonaite6709
    @beatricekarlonaite6709 7 років тому

    Thank you for keeping the text in longer

  • @frederickfreund1957
    @frederickfreund1957 7 років тому

    beautiful video. Thank you ~

  • @hanimortezaeee8325
    @hanimortezaeee8325 7 років тому

    Thank you school of life

  • @dexterellis7973
    @dexterellis7973 7 років тому

    Thank you for the self-facing content. It is truly beneficial to my life.

  • @Alvaroeduardo
    @Alvaroeduardo 7 років тому

    I needed this. Thanks