Wow I’m only a few minutes in and this is really what I needed to hear. I’ve been trying to hold on, saying I’ll do it less, and it’s not working. I know what I need to do now.
I never heard it put like that before but really a simple description of my issue… 20 yrs without more than 2-3 days without beer.. maybe I’ll just stop and see how I feel, thanks…
My sister got to the point where she couldn’t cope with life so she was unable to keep off alcohol she said it made her feel nice she passed away three months ago and I’m so devastated I know my life will ever be as happy again so in effect my life is ruined too. Alcohol is poison.
I am loving your shows. I have been several years in recovery and chair many meetings a week both in rehabilitation centres and N.A. rooms. I've recently been asked to speak at schools and am in the process of setting them up. I enjoy the different types of approaches that you use. Going to be using them as I feel it's important to mix my talks up to keep the guy's interested and focused on their recovery. You really are such a special lady. So glad to have found your site. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏😘
Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words of support, Brett. I love meeting other soldiers 🪖 other people who are out there fighting addiction. Thank you for your service!!!! Feel free to use any of my videos or materials in your groups etc...
Think of alcohol and drugs like they are looking at you smiling. They are giving you a big hug and while they are doing that they tear off tiny pieces of your skin. So tiny that you don’t even feel it, that you are not even aware of it. And over time all your skin, all your protection will be gone and you become completely vulnerable and die. I know bleak, but true.
You shouldn't even think about it. You're thinking that you're in a relationship with the substance the substance isn't the problem the problem is that you can't handle it and you screw everybody over not you personally maybe who knows but everybody screws everybody over and then when they're at the Rock bottom in jail or facing the judge then they want to cry and do all this other crap it's real simple don't think about it
Great video, thank you so much for doing this! Sometimes it's a little scary-feels like you could read my mind 😳 This "it was not that bad" thinking often caused me problems after a while of sobriety. Better be grateful for not losing my child or job instead. Greetings from Switzerland
You're so welcome, Lucy from Switzerland! Love what you said about being grateful for getting out early instead of convincing yourself that it's not that bad.
I’m involved with a alcohol that keeps drinking with a few days of detoxing but always starts drinking heavily time and time again. I have finally joined a support group for myself. I need To Exit this Nightmare I am in. I need to get out of my DENIAL. 😢 I’m taking first steps to help myself. I have spent 10 years trying to change a alcohol. I have turned him over to God.
Amber, I’ve watched so many of your videos, but I found this one especially helpful. The way you reveal the tricks addiction uses and the steps to take to be 5 steps ahead are so eye-opening and helpful. My son is trying to kick his destructive weed/THC vape habit and when we listened to this together he kept saying “She is right about that. It’s like she is reading my mind.” We were also laughing at certain parts, like visiting cousin Rayray, because you know it’s his birthday and all. 😂Thank you for being such a great educator!
hi amber, I'm glad you're out there. thanks. RE: coming out of the recovery closet and telling people. Those would be my children, I expect. So, I could do that, but to be honest (am I being honest? I think so ha) I've told them that about a bazillion times over the years. So, I know (honestly ha or you do) that they would just go uh huh, ya, ok, right. Point is- they wouldn't believe me. So I'm afraid to. Now, I think one thing you might say is that I hesitate cuz maybe I don't think I really will and I don't want to disappoint them again or prove them right (heaven forbid!). And ya, I suppose that is part of it, since it's never really stuck, so I wouldn't blame them for not believing me. I do not want to disappoint them again. ever. There's a trust issue there. You can only tell people the same thing so many times before they don't trust anything you say, if you don't follow through. So, would it be alright if I keep this on the downlow for a bit till I get some time under my belt? Since action and results hold more weight than words, I'd like to show them. Like I have 100% confidence and agree with you completely that with all the positive changes, they'll see it, and if I do slip up I won't disappoint them again. They are all grown and gone now, and I live by myself. Just added that, so you would have a clearer picture. I don't have much time under my belt - just 7 days (well, in 3 hrs, 19 min. and 13 seconds according to my "I am sober" app.) I feel good. I haven't smoked any pot either and have a patch on for smoking, since they all fuel each other. I also have the Sobriety counter app, have been marathoning your videos, and clicked to receive your free 30 day starter emails and Relapse Prevention Skills. Can't tell ya how much I appreciate you. Andi
I am so grateful I found this channel….. it has been such an amazing resource! This particular episode resonated so strongly with me…. My daughter has a strong awareness of her alcohol use disorder…. Going at it in her own right now… not ready for formal treatment… I would love for her to watch this particular video ….. I don’t want to just send it to her “ unsolicited “ any advice?
Heck. I wrote below before I finished that step, and you didn't mention telling your kids at all! It was the persons of the persons, places or things. Sorry for not finishing before commenting below, But since I sent it, if you have any thoughts, I'd welcome hearing them.
I'm hoping that one of these days my partner will get to this point. The most he's done is try to quit hard liquor and only drink beer/wine. About 18 months ago he did pretty well, hardly even any beer we were drinking a lot of La Croix. Lasted maybe 6 weeks? He started a new job and started doing sneak drinking of beer, which of course escalated in quantity. Within 4 months he was back to vodka. I'm well aware that this is likely to repeat itself until he figures out it won't work that way but in the meantime I see it as harm reduction. He's never been abusive or anything, he's a very innocuous alcoholicas far as his behavior towards me This time around the "no more hard booze" lasted less than ten days - his work sent him across the country to drive back with a new vehicle for his company, and when he got back he was drinking whiskey (there was evidence just from the smell, he didn't talk about it). I've been encouraged to know that he was even thinking about quitting to this point though - I thought he was in complete denial so clearly that's not the case, it's probably more like contemplation/bargaining which gives me more hope.
Unfortunately I have to stop at step one since weed is giving me a really great time most of the times I use it. That's the reason I can't ditch the habit. And If I don't smoke for a longer period I always know that a microdose will let me catch the green dragon, it's really impossible for me to not go that place. I dont even plan to ditch it forever, i just want a bit more self control in this relationship.
My son is a functional alcoholic and I'm struggling to bring it up. He doesn't think I know. He put himself through rehab almost a year ago and was sober for about 8 months and recently I've noticed behavior that tells me he's drinking again. Do you have a video on this? 😢😢😢
Recently I found out before I was married my now husband was living away from me and drinking heavily. He had been cheating on me in different ways sexually but not emotionally. Now he tries to not drink but when he does he binges badly. I found him looking at stripchat websites last time. These sexual behaviors only seem to happen when alcohol is involved. How do I deal with this kind of problem?
Okay. Just found you last week. What about one who is ALL alone, nobody to tell the plan to, no family, only drinks alone, knows it's a problem in the last several years, quit without any problem at all for several months, then, learning that my paid off home is going to completely collapse in the coldest area of Alaska this winter - with NO money to fix it, which got me back drinking and smoking which I can't afford...what then? I have nobody, but I know I resorted to spending too much time on the internet; it's all an escape. My house will literally collapse, the trees will fall on my lines, I'll die in a fire and/or lose everything, (my life will be a release), and I have no help and no one cares or to turn to? No gov "programs," something I would never have done before, "non-profits," "designed" to help seniors, but don;t help except say 'let your house collapse'; the only thing I have...so I drink. And smoke cigs. Again. I lost all self motivation. I used to be a warrior; so to speak, raising my children well under difficult circumstances. I'm hopeless and alone. And I need to not drink. But there is not ONE person to help. I also live WAY too far to go to any meetings - long, curvy, bumpy, icy, dark, moose filled road...and gas at almost $5/g. Plus, I can't shower much because my hand driven well is almost completely unusable. I must haul water-75 mile round trip to drink. I'm poor, gov won't help, no friends...how does one quit drinking/smoking? it was easy for some reason Jan 1...now, after realizing how dire my house collapsing id...I can't get back. Just asking. I don't hear any of this in your vids, so just wondering.
I call alchol lady A I ask him to divorce lady A but he refuses. he refuses to buy food but there is money for alchol..... i tried putting him in spare room ....but he started to nest sleeping with the beer cans. then I locked that room and said come to the room ....but he keep drinking.... now we on sperate bedrooms. .....its true he keeps in touch with his ex wife and ex girlfriends that entertain it. that one day he was sober he told me he just want 2 beers and pot then he is good.....o wow I'm drowning in beer cans ...... I am putting the shaffel down I dunno....anymore. I Did alnon meeting super depressing I will not recommend it......I am in South Africa I'm trying to get into church support and groups..... I dunno how he is going to stop......
Did you not get a sponsor and not work the program? It doesn't sound like you followed through on completion of all the steps. It is a spiritual program that can change your life. When you work the 12-steps, there is much good that can out of it. God bless. Hope you are in a better place. Detatchment and tough love are tools you could have used to rectify your situation. You give him firm boundaries and kick him out. Hope your situation is in a better place. You were enabling his behavior,
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Wow I’m only a few minutes in and this is really what I needed to hear. I’ve been trying to hold on, saying I’ll do it less, and it’s not working. I know what I need to do now.
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
I never heard it put like that before but really a simple description of my issue… 20 yrs without more than 2-3 days without beer.. maybe I’ll just stop and see how I feel, thanks…
You got this flaboysventures!
My sister got to the point where she couldn’t cope with life so she was unable to keep off alcohol she said it made her feel nice she passed away three months ago and I’m so devastated I know my life will ever be as happy again so in effect my life is ruined too. Alcohol is poison.
I’m so sorry for your loss.🙏
That is so sad.... I am in a similar position my wife is heading in that direction and it will hurt so many people close to her.
@@62Skins it really will and sadly no one will be able to stop her I’m sorry sorry for you and your wife addiction is tragic.
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sorry your sister suffered.
@@AnnaAwesome77 thankyou I can only hope she is at peace now.
I am loving your shows. I have been several years in recovery and chair many meetings a week both in rehabilitation centres and N.A. rooms. I've recently been asked to speak at schools and am in the process of setting them up. I enjoy the different types of approaches that you use. Going to be using them as I feel it's important to mix my talks up to keep the guy's interested and focused on their recovery. You really are such a special lady. So glad to have found your site. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏😘
Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words of support, Brett. I love meeting other soldiers 🪖 other people who are out there fighting addiction. Thank you for your service!!!! Feel free to use any of my videos or materials in your groups etc...
❤💟❤💟
Think of alcohol and drugs like they are looking at you smiling. They are giving you a big hug and while they are doing that they tear off tiny pieces of your skin. So tiny that you don’t even feel it, that you are not even aware of it. And over time all your skin, all your protection will be gone and you become completely vulnerable and die.
I know bleak, but true.
So true!
You shouldn't even think about it. You're thinking that you're in a relationship with the substance the substance isn't the problem the problem is that you can't handle it and you screw everybody over not you personally maybe who knows but everybody screws everybody over and then when they're at the Rock bottom in jail or facing the judge then they want to cry and do all this other crap it's real simple don't think about it
I'm gonna share this with my husband. I hope so much it helps him. Thankyou so much
Great video, thank you so much for doing this!
Sometimes it's a little scary-feels like you could read my mind 😳
This "it was not that bad" thinking often caused me problems after a while of sobriety.
Better be grateful for not losing my child or job instead.
Greetings from Switzerland
You're so welcome, Lucy from Switzerland! Love what you said about being grateful for getting out early instead of convincing yourself that it's not that bad.
I’m involved with a alcohol that keeps drinking with a few days of detoxing but always starts drinking heavily time and time again.
I have finally joined a support group for myself. I need To Exit this Nightmare I am in.
I need to get out of my DENIAL. 😢
I’m taking first steps to help myself.
I have spent 10 years trying to change a alcohol.
I have turned him over to God.
I hope you are doing well in your recovery journey. God bless.
You will never change an alcoholic it has to be their choice.
Great video to share with my addicted love ones. Thank you Amber.
You are so welcome!
Amber, I’ve watched so many of your videos, but I found this one especially helpful. The way you reveal the tricks addiction uses and the steps to take to be 5 steps ahead are so eye-opening and helpful. My son is trying to kick his destructive weed/THC vape habit and when we listened to this together he kept saying “She is right about that. It’s like she is reading my mind.” We were also laughing at certain parts, like visiting cousin Rayray, because you know it’s his birthday and all. 😂Thank you for being such a great educator!
Wow! Thanks for the positive feedback. I love that you and your son were able to watch this together. That makes my heart so happy 🥰🥰
There is no loophole
You can't have your cake and eat it too with drugs! Clean and serene 😊❤Thank you Amber and Happy Fourth of July 💅🥳🇺🇲🙏😇
Thanks Paula! You too!
“I’m not that bad” = YET…You’re Eligible Too
💯💯💯💯💯💯
Thank you. You are doing the reasons why you were born.
hi amber, I'm glad you're out there. thanks. RE: coming out of the recovery closet and telling people. Those would be my children, I expect. So, I could do that, but to be honest (am I being honest? I think so ha) I've told them that about a bazillion times over the years. So, I know (honestly ha or you do) that they would just go uh huh, ya, ok, right. Point is- they wouldn't believe me. So I'm afraid to. Now, I think one thing you might say is that I hesitate cuz maybe I don't think I really will and I don't want to disappoint them again or prove them right (heaven forbid!). And ya, I suppose that is part of it, since it's never really stuck, so I wouldn't blame them for not believing me. I do not want to disappoint them again. ever. There's a trust issue there. You can only tell people the same thing so many times before they don't trust anything you say, if you don't follow through. So, would it be alright if I keep this on the downlow for a bit till I get some time under my belt? Since action and results hold more weight than words, I'd like to show them. Like I have 100% confidence and agree with you completely that with all the positive changes, they'll see it, and if I do slip up I won't disappoint them again. They are all grown and gone now, and I live by myself. Just added that, so you would have a clearer picture. I don't have much time under my belt - just 7 days (well, in 3 hrs, 19 min. and 13 seconds according to my "I am sober" app.) I feel good. I haven't smoked any pot either and have a patch on for smoking, since they all fuel each other. I also have the Sobriety counter app, have been marathoning your videos, and clicked to receive your free 30 day starter emails and Relapse Prevention Skills. Can't tell ya how much I appreciate you.
Andi
Needed this video today ❤ thank you
You are so welcome!
I am so grateful I found this channel….. it has been such an amazing resource! This particular episode resonated so strongly with me…. My daughter has a strong awareness of her alcohol use disorder…. Going at it in her own right now… not ready for formal treatment… I would love for her to watch this particular video ….. I don’t want to just send it to her “ unsolicited “ any advice?
Ask her if she'd like you to send it
#1-Got to get rid of toxic family members…too many triggers!!
He would say it's a positive to be numb and escape his thoughts
Heck. I wrote below before I finished that step, and you didn't mention telling your kids at all! It was the persons of the persons, places or things. Sorry for not finishing before commenting below, But since I sent it, if you have any thoughts, I'd welcome hearing them.
I'm hoping that one of these days my partner will get to this point. The most he's done is try to quit hard liquor and only drink beer/wine. About 18 months ago he did pretty well, hardly even any beer we were drinking a lot of La Croix. Lasted maybe 6 weeks? He started a new job and started doing sneak drinking of beer, which of course escalated in quantity. Within 4 months he was back to vodka. I'm well aware that this is likely to repeat itself until he figures out it won't work that way but in the meantime I see it as harm reduction. He's never been abusive or anything, he's a very innocuous alcoholicas far as his behavior towards me
This time around the "no more hard booze" lasted less than ten days - his work sent him across the country to drive back with a new vehicle for his company, and when he got back he was drinking whiskey (there was evidence just from the smell, he didn't talk about it). I've been encouraged to know that he was even thinking about quitting to this point though - I thought he was in complete denial so clearly that's not the case, it's probably more like contemplation/bargaining which gives me more hope.
Hi Amber, I would like to get counseling for my husband and I and also for my son that has the addiction. How do I go about getting that information?
We'd be happy to help.. We don't do counseling, but we do offer coaching. Here's a link to learn more www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/consultations
Unfortunately I have to stop at step one since weed is giving me a really great time most of the times I use it. That's the reason I can't ditch the habit. And If I don't smoke for a longer period I always know that a microdose will let me catch the green dragon, it's really impossible for me to not go that place. I dont even plan to ditch it forever, i just want a bit more self control in this relationship.
Ya I hung on to one at least at every try to quit I think I told em
Hell yeah
My son is a functional alcoholic and I'm struggling to bring it up. He doesn't think I know. He put himself through rehab almost a year ago and was sober for about 8 months and recently I've noticed behavior that tells me he's drinking again. Do you have a video on this? 😢😢😢
Head not working properly. Had to consult a sober one.
What about when it's a long term relationship where you live together?
Recently I found out before I was married my now husband was living away from me and drinking heavily. He had been cheating on me in different ways sexually but not emotionally. Now he tries to not drink but when he does he binges badly. I found him looking at stripchat websites last time. These sexual behaviors only seem to happen when alcohol is involved. How do I deal with this kind of problem?
Okay. Just found you last week. What about one who is ALL alone, nobody to tell the plan to, no family, only drinks alone, knows it's a problem in the last several years, quit without any problem at all for several months, then, learning that my paid off home is going to completely collapse in the coldest area of Alaska this winter - with NO money to fix it, which got me back drinking and smoking which I can't afford...what then? I have nobody, but I know I resorted to spending too much time on the internet; it's all an escape. My house will literally collapse, the trees will fall on my lines, I'll die in a fire and/or lose everything, (my life will be a release), and I have no help and no one cares or to turn to? No gov "programs," something I would never have done before, "non-profits," "designed" to help seniors, but don;t help except say 'let your house collapse'; the only thing I have...so I drink. And smoke cigs. Again. I lost all self motivation. I used to be a warrior; so to speak, raising my children well under difficult circumstances. I'm hopeless and alone. And I need to not drink. But there is not ONE person to help. I also live WAY too far to go to any meetings - long, curvy, bumpy, icy, dark, moose filled road...and gas at almost $5/g. Plus, I can't shower much because my hand driven well is almost completely unusable. I must haul water-75 mile round trip to drink. I'm poor, gov won't help, no friends...how does one quit drinking/smoking? it was easy for some reason Jan 1...now, after realizing how dire my house collapsing id...I can't get back. Just asking. I don't hear any of this in your vids, so just wondering.
What happened? You sounded so alone. Hopefully a year later you made it threw
What if you can't get away from the places , like everywhere you go by necessary everyday is a place ,
Why money job ? Must be an option ?
🤍🩷❤️
I call alchol lady A
I ask him to divorce lady A but he refuses.
he refuses to buy food but there is money for alchol.....
i tried putting him in spare room ....but he started to nest sleeping with the beer cans.
then I locked that room and said come to the room ....but he keep drinking....
now we on sperate bedrooms. .....its true he keeps in touch with his ex wife and ex girlfriends that entertain it.
that one day he was sober he told me he just want 2 beers and pot then he is good.....o wow I'm drowning in beer cans ......
I am putting the shaffel down I dunno....anymore.
I Did alnon meeting super depressing I will not recommend it......I am in South Africa I'm trying to get into church support and groups.....
I dunno how he is going to stop......
Did you not get a sponsor and not work the program? It doesn't sound like you followed through on completion of all the steps. It is a spiritual program that can change your life. When you work the 12-steps, there is much good that can out of it. God bless. Hope you are in a better place. Detatchment and tough love are tools you could have used to rectify your situation. You give him firm boundaries and kick him out. Hope your situation is in a better place. You were enabling his behavior,
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