Ok clay I'm getting whiplash, my ex is having conversations with me but then goes cold and distant with me. I've called him out on this and he's said this is because he finds it hard to talk to me like normal and it brings 'everything' back. I've asked if he needs space or for me to back off and he consistently says no, I've given him space and not reached out but within a couple of days he's reaching out or calling me just to 'chat'. This is despite him telling me it's too hard to hear my voice. I'm now at a stage where I want to talk to him but when he reaches out I don't know if he's going to be receptive with me and chat for 40 mins or be hesitant and not reply or give one word. What do I do because it's making me anxious and confused? I've left it today by saying that I know he's confused but his distance is making me anxious, I've asked him to call me when he wants to chat. Where is he at?
1) Damage Control Mode - Angst, doubts 2) Attachment Mode - Trying too hard 3) The Crossroads - Be vulnerable, be open 4) The Bridge - Communicate clearly, understanding what your ex is going thru 5) Effortless Connection - You have meaningful conversations with your ex
Man,,, my wife always would get mad at me, calling me content. I'm starting to understand what she meant by that. I show no emotion but being happy and masculine. I tried to be her mountain, never showing stress or sadness.
Dang I really went through all these stages. I'm confident that I'm in bridge now. I sent her one last msg letting her know what I'm feeling and I understand how she is feeling. I'm just going to give her space now and hopefully the effortless connection will come next. She tells me she wants me in her life but is being cold and distance. She just needs space now and time for me to focus on myself.
Man! This is exactly what happened to me too. At some point we were happy and all of a sudden she broke up with me because she wanted space but at the same time she wanted but she wants us to grow both. Its really very complicated to put into words but I can really relate to the feeling that you are feeling now.
How closely should these 5 steps that I'm going through correlate with the 5 stages of getting back together (Wall of Reactance thru New Beginnings). It would be interesting to see these juxtaposed against each other... video idea, maybe? Thanks for the good advice man!
Thanks, Julia. We also have a book in Amazon that goes in-depth about the said topic. You can visit us over here >>> www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Ex-Back-Together-ebook/dp/B00NLNCTDO/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
I definitely just got into the Attachment Stage. We're now starting to talk about meeting up in person and have fun. Trying not to get too caught up in the event ideals and will try my best to be emotionally present.
@@ClayAndrews One question for you, Clay... You have mentioned that it's important to have gotten over your ex, or to have "moved on", before a new healthy connection can arise between the two of you. My question is should I ever say to her "Hey I just want to make sure going forward you've on from our relationship entirely. I just think it's important for starting a new more open and honest connection between the two of us going forward." Personally, I think she has moved on already, but I want to convey to her that I too have moved on by saying because I don't want her to think that I see our new bond as a means of getting back together.
Awesome video bro, it allows me to understand this better as I am in the 2nd stage at present. Don't want to stuff things up, so this is a relief and help to guide me.
i swear i never searched for ways to save my relationship only for this last one , because i know he's my love and i cant just loose it easily ...*damage mode*
Long distance relationship for almost two years and was broken up with or taking a break before I could get there this month. I guess it's the same and it would be hard because I am close with his family. I still want him. But in three weeks I know I will be able to make progress because I don't need him. Yet I still want him. Only unless he reaches out, I shouldn't isn't it?
Hi Corrina, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup and we understand your struggle being in a long-distance relationship. There is nothing wrong reaching out to the person as long as you have worked on the Advanced Relational Skills that we talk about in our channel and is detached from any form of outcome. :-) All the best.
This video popped up on my UA-cam feed and although it is a fairly old video, I gotta say that out of all the coaches I’ve seen on UA-cam, Clay is honestly the best one! His advice pertains to us with being who we are and not being robotic, really appreciate this video! 😁
Hi clay, I’m in a situation was with my ex 14 years 2 kids etc, she left 7 months ago because I lost my way in life, I’ve made lots of mistakes during our time apart trying to fix our situation been very emotional! I’ve not spoken to her about us trying again for nearly a month but the last time I did she said I’m not coming back I need to build myself back up, does this mean she’s not coming back at the moment because she’s not ready or am I reading to much into it? Do you coach? Thanks dan
I like your advice, but this is very contrary to what I’ve heard from other coaches. I’ve heard... That you suppose to be aloof, and make her think that you are seeing other people. I’ve heard that you are not suppose to be emotionally vulnerable with your girl and that you were only there to crush puss. This video makes me feel a little better about not being super Macho with my intimate relationships.
Yes... Clay tells us to be natural and human... Not game playing robots. Don't forget that your ex loved you for who you are... If there are habits or behaviours that turned her/him off... Work on that... But don't forget you are someone that he/she loved and will possibly love again.
I need some help asap!! my ex discarded me a couple months ago and got into another relationship right away. I begged and pleaded for a couple days and nothing. went into no contact for 3 weeks and tried again. now it's been 3 weeks of no contact again and she's texting me now. she said she misses me. she said I miss you good bye idiot. what should I do? keep the no contact going? I want her back
Thank you. In one video of mine, I made a stupid "boob" reference. Apologies in advanced for that dumb comment if you ever encounter that video. Sorry, ladies!
Hi Elo, Yes it is normal. We really can't make it steady but we may be able to minimize the impact. Remember that we are dealing with a human being and their emotions can change from time to time. That is why we have to strengthen the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach inside our Ex Solution Program. :-)
Thank you now I have a understanding on what I need to do next when I see you but I need some ideas for a first meeting with her should I go to a bowling alley with her or is that to much?
Hey clay my ex and i broke up about 2 months ago going into three she blocked me everywhere and doesnt want to have nothing to do with me i made the mistake of being needy and thats why she blocked me what can i do do i still have a chance
Heey, so my ex broke up with me about a week ago because I lied to him and it was a big lie. He is very stubborn and he said that he won't take me back and he doesn't believe i can change. But he forgave me for the mistakes I've made and wants me to take time for myself. Now his trust is broken, during the relationship he mentioned a couple of times that honesty is very important to him. A couple of days before the breakup he told me he really fell hard for me, that he will never find someone better and that I complete him. Now I am in the periode of No contact and I've realised what the true issues were and what i can do about it. We have planned to see eachother in about a month to discuss everything. How can I change his mind about ending the relationship?
Sorry to hear about your recent breakup. I know it's never easy. But if you want to change his mind you have to show him that you are a trustworthy person. This may take some time. You can't just say something to restore someone's trust in you. Trust is something that takes time to build. So understand if things need to progress slowly. But continue to be a trustworthy person and he'll eventually start to see that you're not the person he thought he broke up with.
I think this helped a lot. I believe I'm exiting the damage control phase and am now going into the second phase. I'm so tempted to get in contact and try to get back together, but I know I need more time
My ex and I had been together for a year and 2 months... he broke up with me because he said “he didn’t want a relationship anymore” he calls me every now and then and I’ve been doing everything I can to try and lead him back... he promised me that “we would be back together again no matter what” and he told me I mean the world to him and he didn’t wanna leave me upset... he seems happier than ever right now without me... yes he still calls me every once in a while but it’s just casual conversation... does anyone have any advice on what I should do or if I’m having false hope? Someone help me!
Hi Heather, Give yourself 3-6 months. If you see that there's zero progress after doing all the efforts, you can then decide to reorganize your priorities. All the best.
Clay I did the same mistake twice first time I did she blocked me everywhere in social media after one month she unblocked me again but just short period we have a problem again I did it again because I called her a name what she don't like and she blocked me everywhere again is a long distance relationship do you think there is any 3rd chance for me ?
Kabba Kijera there is always a chance .. just be. patient .. but just know more mistakes you make .. longer it will take ...so clear your head and heart first ...
@Kabba If these problems keep resurfacing, I think what's important is getting to the root of what's causing you to call her names. You have full control of your actions here and changing how YOU organically bring yourself to the interaction will help dramatically change your outcome. If you notice that you have the tendency to say or call women names that's upsetting to them, it seems to me the first thing you should fix is YOU and the part that fuels you how you act and behave around women. If you want to get her back, she is going to have to believe that you aren't that guy you demonstrated to her...right now, her wall of reactance is high. She won't let you in until negative emotions she has towards you dissipates. During this time, I'd focus on what YOU have power over--yourself and your behavior. I dont give out "quick tips" or "slap a bandaid on it" type of advice. I help men and women have better relationships with each other and tips and tricks like how to get her to unblock you isn't really addressing the root of the issue--which is you and your actions that creates the dynamic of your relationship with her. But yes, you still have a chance...only if you change your approach because what you've been doing is obviously not working. Cheers and best wishes to you.
Clay Andrews I talked to my ex 3 weeks ago I asked her out to a movie she said she will get back to me then she told me her and her boyfriend went to see a movie she said she's happy and she's been with him for months I want her back but I don't know if she will take me back
Hi clay my ex and I broke up about a month ago we've been on and off for about 3 years. Everytime we have broken up it has been due to communication issues and me having very bad jealousy issues. My cats and myself were living with him for about 6 months until we got into a heated argument and I said some regretful or "unforgivable things" (in his words) and he kicked me out. He is watching my cats until I can find my own apartment and has told me he loves my cats and I don't need to stress myself on finding a place he will care for them until I can. We have seen and been in contact with each other twice since (I initiated contact with him) so I could pick up my things from his place and visit with my cats. The last time I did this I cried and told him how I wanted for us to get back together in the future he held me while I cried and held my hands. He told me he doesn't think we can work through things but when I asked again he told me no promises I asked if we could hang out still and he told me he thinks it wouldn't be good for me to do that while trying to get better. I then tried to give him a kiss and we almost kissed then he told me he didn't want to give me the wrong idea. When leaving his house I told him that I loved him and would miss him and kissed him on the cheek, he told me he loved me and would miss me as well and told me to be a good girl. I have not tried contacting him since and plan to stick to no contact. He hasn't tried to contact me at all. What do you advise for me to do moving forward? (I've watched your videos every day since we broke up on the 25th of September they have helped me to stay level headed I thank you for uploading these)
Hi Raina, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup and we understand that this can truly be heartbreaking for you and with your ex at the same time. If you are planning to apply No contact, be sure it is Active No Contact just like what we teach inside our course. Focus on working on the Advanced Relational Skills as that will prepare you when you decided to reconcile with your ex. I know that we can't cover everything here in my reply but we hope this would give you an idea on what to do to start off your journey. All the best.
@@ClayAndrews well he won’t talk to me at all and I be trying to talk to him but he just won’t talk to me at all I just want to explain things to him Nd work things out with him
Hii just want to tell you I had a 7 years relationship my boyfriend.. but in last year I m very much in tension so I always fight with them..and argue with them... That's why he take a decision that he did not see her future with me.. and he need a relationship like aas a frnd.. this decision he will be take to see my behaviour... But when he said I love u a lot... But ur behaviour make me to take this decision like as a frnd... But I said I don't want to stay with like as a frnd...nd I love him a lot....plss do let me know ..how can a get my ex back...
Hi clay trying to get me ex back . And the beginning we where really emotionally charged. She kept sending me mixed messages i wanted it back she didnt. So she sent me snapchats of her out this hurt me was only three weeks so i told her that it is better off that we have no interactions at all. So i started no contact. Man it was tough but i realised mentally i wasnt in the right place to talk so i didnt want to jeapordise ruining it by saying something when emotions were high. We recently started talking after i just told her that my emotions were too high to talk at that point. She told me to text her any time she wants and she wants to meet up over the christmas for a drink we onlu recently started talking again i dont know wheather to keep texting her sporadiclly as the conversation is heading in the right direction. But i feel like im not back to my full self yet and if i meet her i wont be in a position and she can see right through me any advice.
If you're not ready, then don't get yourself in over your head. But also don't get caught in the trap of always preparing and never taking action. Stay in contact with your ex if the interactions are bringing the two of you closer together. If the connection between the two of you starts to slip, then you're doing something wrong. At that point, stop and assess what is going on.
Hi LR, Remember that your chances will depend on the actions that you would take and refuse to do. Getting back together is a process that you both have to experience. Not because you are ready, it will go exactly the same for your ex. She will be going through phases as well. Moving on will be your personal choice as you will be taking accountability and ownership. It is not for anybody to tell you to move on. :-)
You may want to get to the root behind why you lie to begin with. That's a good starting point. Everything else but that would just be slapping a tiny band-aid on top of a giant flesh wound. Good luck, friend.
Do you consider it as a good idea if I will write a letter to her before Christmas and explain in a touching way everything I learned from the break up and show how much better I am for her now? Or will it scare her away even more??
I talked to my ex for a while last night she is with someone else and can only talk to me when he's not there. I told her I can't do this anymore and that I need to see her so I can talk to her and give her her stuff back and that after that I'm not going to talk to her anymore. she started crying. I'm confused. I wasn't trying to be a dick. I'm doing this for me so I can move on. what the hell is going on with the crying? I thought i was doing the right thing
There is nothing wrong with crying. Crying is an emotional release. This is probably good for your emotional development and allowing you to step into whatever the next phase of your romantic life may look like. Don't try to resist it. Let the tears come out, buddy. I promise you there will be joy on the other side, one way or another.
+Clay Andrews I mean is she crying because she misses me and still loves me? she is with another man. she has to be sneaky just to talk to me. I figured she was over me because she jumped into a new relationship. I have not dated anyone. I'm telling her that I need to see her again and talk to her one last time so I can finally move on. I thought this was what she wanted.
Awesome Video, but for my situation. Well if your ex is sleeping with her ex all this might be worthless. She couldn't go through those 5 steps if shes getting it from another guy. That wouldn't be authentic, Right. I think these steps only work if both are alone going through the same changes, not one of them out partying and sleeping around. Then probably nothing you could do. Great video though. Thanks
Learn more about your ex's 5 stages that they go through on the process of getting back together over here: ua-cam.com/video/pgY59Mg1dXA/v-deo.html
Why in terms of break up women always the one needed to be blame are u sure that they dont do something to damage the relationship it takes 2 to tango
+2349050804927..
Ok clay I'm getting whiplash, my ex is having conversations with me but then goes cold and distant with me. I've called him out on this and he's said this is because he finds it hard to talk to me like normal and it brings 'everything' back. I've asked if he needs space or for me to back off and he consistently says no, I've given him space and not reached out but within a couple of days he's reaching out or calling me just to 'chat'. This is despite him telling me it's too hard to hear my voice. I'm now at a stage where I want to talk to him but when he reaches out I don't know if he's going to be receptive with me and chat for 40 mins or be hesitant and not reply or give one word. What do I do because it's making me anxious and confused? I've left it today by saying that I know he's confused but his distance is making me anxious, I've asked him to call me when he wants to chat. Where is he at?
1) Damage Control Mode - Angst, doubts
2) Attachment Mode - Trying too hard
3) The Crossroads - Be vulnerable, be open
4) The Bridge - Communicate clearly, understanding what your ex is going thru
5) Effortless Connection - You have meaningful conversations with your ex
" The effortless connection stage "
It's like coming back home.
Man,,, my wife always would get mad at me, calling me content. I'm starting to understand what she meant by that. I show no emotion but being happy and masculine. I tried to be her mountain, never showing stress or sadness.
Hi Eric, so what are the things that you have made to change the dynamics between you and your wife?
Dang I really went through all these stages. I'm confident that I'm in bridge now. I sent her one last msg letting her know what I'm feeling and I understand how she is feeling. I'm just going to give her space now and hopefully the effortless connection will come next. She tells me she wants me in her life but is being cold and distance. She just needs space now and time for me to focus on myself.
Man! This is exactly what happened to me too. At some point we were happy and all of a sudden she broke up with me because she wanted space but at the same time she wanted but she wants us to grow both. Its really very complicated to put into words but I can really relate to the feeling that you are feeling now.
@@uriahdowell4851 im in the same boat what happened?? Updates??
How closely should these 5 steps that I'm going through correlate with the 5 stages of getting back together (Wall of Reactance thru New Beginnings). It would be interesting to see these juxtaposed against each other... video idea, maybe?
Thanks for the good advice man!
really love your videos - very insightful. I wish there was some clear writing of the stages too in the vids though :)
Thanks, Julia. We also have a book in Amazon that goes in-depth about the said topic. You can visit us over here >>> www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Ex-Back-Together-ebook/dp/B00NLNCTDO/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
You are THE BEST! Thanks for amazing advice
I definitely just got into the Attachment Stage. We're now starting to talk about meeting up in person and have fun. Trying not to get too caught up in the event ideals and will try my best to be emotionally present.
That's great to hear, Reis. Do work on the Advanced Relational Skills as well.
@@ClayAndrews One question for you, Clay... You have mentioned that it's important to have gotten over your ex, or to have "moved on", before a new healthy connection can arise between the two of you. My question is should I ever say to her "Hey I just want to make sure going forward you've on from our relationship entirely. I just think it's important for starting a new more open and honest connection between the two of us going forward." Personally, I think she has moved on already, but I want to convey to her that I too have moved on by saying because I don't want her to think that I see our new bond as a means of getting back together.
You are a realistic persone. I liked your video. I would like to contact You.
Awesome video bro, it allows me to understand this better as I am in the 2nd stage at present. Don't want to stuff things up, so this is a relief and help to guide me.
i swear i never searched for ways to save my relationship only for this last one , because i know he's my love and i cant just loose it easily ...*damage mode*
There's no shame in trying to save a relationship that is important to you.
PASHA muzgirl same thing for me 😌
You are very practical and realistic thx for sharing the videos xxxx
You're welcome, Antoinette. Thanks for watching our video as well. :-)
Long distance relationship for almost two years and was broken up with or taking a break before I could get there this month. I guess it's the same and it would be hard because I am close with his family. I still want him. But in three weeks I know I will be able to make progress because I don't need him. Yet I still want him. Only unless he reaches out, I shouldn't isn't it?
Hi Corrina, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup and we understand your struggle being in a long-distance relationship. There is nothing wrong reaching out to the person as long as you have worked on the Advanced Relational Skills that we talk about in our channel and is detached from any form of outcome. :-) All the best.
Hi girl, same case here... Any progress?
wow man, im at the bridge phase, i passed first by the attachment phase its weird lol but im so happy to hear that im making progress
This video popped up on my UA-cam feed and although it is a fairly old video, I gotta say that out of all the coaches I’ve seen on UA-cam, Clay is honestly the best one! His advice pertains to us with being who we are and not being robotic, really appreciate this video! 😁
Glad you enjoyed it! And we truly appreciate your kind words. :-)
Love ❤️ this channel it’s soo different came at the right time for me and where we are...
Thank you. I hope you continue to get value from my videos.
Whatzapp +2348151857334
Hi clay, I’m in a situation was with my ex 14 years 2 kids etc, she left 7 months ago because I lost my way in life, I’ve made lots of mistakes during our time apart trying to fix our situation been very emotional! I’ve not spoken to her about us trying again for nearly a month but the last time I did she said I’m not coming back I need to build myself back up, does this mean she’s not coming back at the moment because she’s not ready or am I reading to much into it? Do you coach? Thanks dan
This is so useful
Have you gotten your ex back? Let me introduce you to the same person who helped me get my ex back
+12628720548.......
thanks for reminding me we are human!
You're welcome. :-)
haha 15 times in one day :) ur videos are great btw and really useful so thanks alot! :)
I like your advice, but this is very contrary to what I’ve heard from other coaches.
I’ve heard...
That you suppose to be aloof, and make her think that you are seeing other people.
I’ve heard that you are not suppose to be emotionally vulnerable with your girl and that you were only there to crush puss.
This video makes me feel a little better about not being super Macho with my intimate relationships.
Thank you, Jake. Glad to hear that our video is something that resonates on your personal values. :-)
Yes... Clay tells us to be natural and human... Not game playing robots. Don't forget that your ex loved you for who you are... If there are habits or behaviours that turned her/him off... Work on that... But don't forget you are someone that he/she loved and will possibly love again.
I need some help asap!! my ex discarded me a couple months ago and got into another relationship right away. I begged and pleaded for a couple days and nothing. went into no contact for 3 weeks and tried again. now it's been 3 weeks of no contact again and she's texting me now. she said she misses me. she said I miss you good bye idiot. what should I do? keep the no contact going? I want her back
Im textning with my ex while Im watching this😂
Daniel Ricciardo did y’all get together again?
Did u guys get back together
answer us? did you get back together?
Me too, homie!
You too?
I love your videos, you provide so much helpful information for a person.
Thank you for keepin' it real.... ;+)
Thank you. In one video of mine, I made a stupid "boob" reference. Apologies in advanced for that dumb comment if you ever encounter that video. Sorry, ladies!
I feel like I'm going back and forth between stages 2-5 is this normal? 😂 what do I do to keep it steady?
Hi Elo, Yes it is normal. We really can't make it steady but we may be able to minimize the impact. Remember that we are dealing with a human being and their emotions can change from time to time. That is why we have to strengthen the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach inside our Ex Solution Program. :-)
ahmm? are you a virgo guy?
I'm little confused about the fourth stage. Can you elaborate on that? Where does that come in?
Hey there, Afiabici, you can check this video as I talked about the crisis point further. >>> ua-cam.com/video/0jhqi-qLJDM/v-deo.html :-)
Damn you're good!! such original advice I have not heard any where else, truly brilliant!
Thank you now I have a understanding on what I need to do next when I see you but I need some ideas for a first meeting with her should I go to a bowling alley with her or is that to much?
Hey clay my ex and i broke up about 2 months ago going into three she blocked me everywhere and doesnt want to have nothing to do with me i made the mistake of being needy and thats why she blocked me what can i do do i still have a chance
So you have no possible way of contacting her? If so, then it looks like you're doing No Contact...
Did you try writing an actual letter?
Heey, so my ex broke up with me about a week ago because I lied to him and it was a big lie. He is very stubborn and he said that he won't take me back and he doesn't believe i can change. But he forgave me for the mistakes I've made and wants me to take time for myself. Now his trust is broken, during the relationship he mentioned a couple of times that honesty is very important to him. A couple of days before the breakup he told me he really fell hard for me, that he will never find someone better and that I complete him. Now I am in the periode of No contact and I've realised what the true issues were and what i can do about it. We have planned to see eachother in about a month to discuss everything. How can I change his mind about ending the relationship?
Sorry to hear about your recent breakup. I know it's never easy. But if you want to change his mind you have to show him that you are a trustworthy person. This may take some time. You can't just say something to restore someone's trust in you. Trust is something that takes time to build. So understand if things need to progress slowly. But continue to be a trustworthy person and he'll eventually start to see that you're not the person he thought he broke up with.
I think this helped a lot. I believe I'm exiting the damage control phase and am now going into the second phase. I'm so tempted to get in contact and try to get back together, but I know I need more time
My ex and I had been together for a year and 2 months... he broke up with me because he said “he didn’t want a relationship anymore” he calls me every now and then and I’ve been doing everything I can to try and lead him back... he promised me that “we would be back together again no matter what” and he told me I mean the world to him and he didn’t wanna leave me upset... he seems happier than ever right now without me... yes he still calls me every once in a while but it’s just casual conversation... does anyone have any advice on what I should do or if I’m having false hope? Someone help me!
Hi Heather, Give yourself 3-6 months. If you see that there's zero progress after doing all the efforts, you can then decide to reorganize your priorities. All the best.
Clay I did the same mistake twice first time I did she blocked me everywhere in social media after one month she unblocked me again but just short period we have a problem again I did it again because I called her a name what she don't like and she blocked me everywhere again is a long distance relationship do you think there is any 3rd chance for me ?
Kabba Kijera there is always a chance .. just be. patient .. but just know more mistakes you make .. longer it will take ...so clear your head and heart first ...
atif wakeel 💯
@Kabba If these problems keep resurfacing, I think what's important is getting to the root of what's causing you to call her names. You have full control of your actions here and changing how YOU organically bring yourself to the interaction will help dramatically change your outcome. If you notice that you have the tendency to say or call women names that's upsetting to them, it seems to me the first thing you should fix is YOU and the part that fuels you how you act and behave around women. If you want to get her back, she is going to have to believe that you aren't that guy you demonstrated to her...right now, her wall of reactance is high. She won't let you in until negative emotions she has towards you dissipates. During this time, I'd focus on what YOU have power over--yourself and your behavior. I dont give out "quick tips" or "slap a bandaid on it" type of advice. I help men and women have better relationships with each other and tips and tricks like how to get her to unblock you isn't really addressing the root of the issue--which is you and your actions that creates the dynamic of your relationship with her. But yes, you still have a chance...only if you change your approach because what you've been doing is obviously not working. Cheers and best wishes to you.
thanks bro I get it
Clay Andrews I talked to my ex 3 weeks ago I asked her out to a movie she said she will get back to me then she told me her and her boyfriend went to see a movie she said she's happy and she's been with him for months I want her back but I don't know if she will take me back
Hi clay my ex and I broke up about a month ago we've been on and off for about 3 years. Everytime we have broken up it has been due to communication issues and me having very bad jealousy issues. My cats and myself were living with him for about 6 months until we got into a heated argument and I said some regretful or "unforgivable things" (in his words) and he kicked me out. He is watching my cats until I can find my own apartment and has told me he loves my cats and I don't need to stress myself on finding a place he will care for them until I can. We have seen and been in contact with each other twice since (I initiated contact with him) so I could pick up my things from his place and visit with my cats. The last time I did this I cried and told him how I wanted for us to get back together in the future he held me while I cried and held my hands. He told me he doesn't think we can work through things but when I asked again he told me no promises I asked if we could hang out still and he told me he thinks it wouldn't be good for me to do that while trying to get better. I then tried to give him a kiss and we almost kissed then he told me he didn't want to give me the wrong idea. When leaving his house I told him that I loved him and would miss him and kissed him on the cheek, he told me he loved me and would miss me as well and told me to be a good girl. I have not tried contacting him since and plan to stick to no contact. He hasn't tried to contact me at all. What do you advise for me to do moving forward? (I've watched your videos every day since we broke up on the 25th of September they have helped me to stay level headed I thank you for uploading these)
Hi Raina, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup and we understand that this can truly be heartbreaking for you and with your ex at the same time. If you are planning to apply No contact, be sure it is Active No Contact just like what we teach inside our course. Focus on working on the Advanced Relational Skills as that will prepare you when you decided to reconcile with your ex. I know that we can't cover everything here in my reply but we hope this would give you an idea on what to do to start off your journey. All the best.
Any update?
So my bf broke up with me like a month ago for no reason at all what stage is that?
How would you describe the current dynamics between you and your ex at this time?
@@ClayAndrews well he won’t talk to me at all and I be trying to talk to him but he just won’t talk to me at all I just want to explain things to him Nd work things out with him
Hii just want to tell you I had a 7 years relationship my boyfriend.. but in last year I m very much in tension so I always fight with them..and argue with them... That's why he take a decision that he did not see her future with me.. and he need a relationship like aas a frnd.. this decision he will be take to see my behaviour... But when he said I love u a lot... But ur behaviour make me to take this decision like as a frnd... But I said I don't want to stay with like as a frnd...nd I love him a lot....plss do let me know ..how can a get my ex back...
Hi clay trying to get me ex back . And the beginning we where really emotionally charged. She kept sending me mixed messages i wanted it back she didnt. So she sent me snapchats of her out this hurt me was only three weeks so i told her that it is better off that we have no interactions at all. So i started no contact. Man it was tough but i realised mentally i wasnt in the right place to talk so i didnt want to jeapordise ruining it by saying something when emotions were high. We recently started talking after i just told her that my emotions were too high to talk at that point. She told me to text her any time she wants and she wants to meet up over the christmas for a drink we onlu recently started talking again i dont know wheather to keep texting her sporadiclly as the conversation is heading in the right direction. But i feel like im not back to my full self yet and if i meet her i wont be in a position and she can see right through me any advice.
If you're not ready, then don't get yourself in over your head. But also don't get caught in the trap of always preparing and never taking action.
Stay in contact with your ex if the interactions are bringing the two of you closer together. If the connection between the two of you starts to slip, then you're doing something wrong. At that point, stop and assess what is going on.
@@ClayAndrews thanks clay we interected again didnt go so well not so bad so i think its time for nature to do its course and let things go for a bit
@@ClayAndrews crossroads mate crossroads
My ex was ready to get back together but now she doesn’t even want to talk to me? What stage is she in
It seems like your ex is at the crisis point phase.
Clay Andrews so is there still a chance or should I move on?
Hi LR, Remember that your chances will depend on the actions that you would take and refuse to do. Getting back together is a process that you both have to experience. Not because you are ready, it will go exactly the same for your ex. She will be going through phases as well. Moving on will be your personal choice as you will be taking accountability and ownership. It is not for anybody to tell you to move on. :-)
Hii I need ur help to get my ex my ex back...
hey clay i said too much lies to my gf..and now she said that she don't trust me anymore and dnt wanna continue..what should i do..pls help
You may want to get to the root behind why you lie to begin with. That's a good starting point. Everything else but that would just be slapping a tiny band-aid on top of a giant flesh wound. Good luck, friend.
She is running
Do you consider it as a good idea if I will write a letter to her before Christmas and explain in a touching way everything I learned from the break up and show how much better I am for her now? Or will it scare her away even more??
No
I talked to my ex for a while last night she is with someone else and can only talk to me when he's not there. I told her I can't do this anymore and that I need to see her so I can talk to her and give her her stuff back and that after that I'm not going to talk to her anymore. she started crying. I'm confused. I wasn't trying to be a dick. I'm doing this for me so I can move on. what the hell is going on with the crying? I thought i was doing the right thing
There is nothing wrong with crying. Crying is an emotional release. This is probably good for your emotional development and allowing you to step into whatever the next phase of your romantic life may look like. Don't try to resist it. Let the tears come out, buddy. I promise you there will be joy on the other side, one way or another.
+Clay Andrews I mean is she crying because she misses me and still loves me? she is with another man. she has to be sneaky just to talk to me. I figured she was over me because she jumped into a new relationship. I have not dated anyone. I'm telling her that I need to see her again and talk to her one last time so I can finally move on. I thought this was what she wanted.
@@chrisharrison729 it could be a rebound if she jumped into another relationship so quickly.
I'm crying my eyes out cuz my ex-girlfriend broke up
I'm sorry to hear about the breakup. We understand that it must be truly tough on you. We hope that you are holding on well.
Whatz@pp
+2348151857334
🤩 wow
Awesome Video, but for my situation. Well if your ex is sleeping with her ex all this might be worthless. She couldn't go through those 5 steps if shes getting it from another guy. That wouldn't be authentic, Right. I think these steps only work if both are alone going through the same changes, not one of them out partying and sleeping around. Then probably nothing you could do. Great video though. Thanks
"Cocky and funny" - haha, that wouldn't be a reference to a famous (infamous?) person in the 'seduction community'?
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