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My ex came back after 7 months. I broke no contact every few weeks, sometimes after longer. She wasn't in good place when she contacted me. I thought she was doing great after our break up. Instead she was doing worse than me. I didn't think she was coming back, but i prayed to the lord every day and it happened. I guess my point is if you love someone that deeply, then pray to Father God in the name of Jesus. For as long as you can.
my wife said she is done with me she doesn't feel happy with me anymore but I love her so much I never cheated on her I'm loyal to my wife but it's really sad she doesn't see it how rich my love is for her I know she will met and go out with cheaters or worse maybe she will regret it leaving me true love and loyalty we and also have a child together
But we have to give them the best reason for them to get back with us. That is why we have to make an authentic change to inspire them to get back to us at the same time changing the dynamics for both of you not to get back to the old type of relationship.
For me, this is a great idea but I just don't want to assume on him anymore because if he really wants to come back with me again he would definitely find a way.
@@katiewhiting9945 cant say for sure but I would suggest working on yourself, go out and do things you havent done that's been on your mind, for me I've been going out and doing things and going to the gym helps me build my confidence. I moved on and I dont want my ex back anymore for the person who she was she wasnt a good person so if they comeback to you it's up to you if you want them back I made my decision and alot happier being single and know myself worth. I can get a better girl and I know that for sure I'm not rushing into a relationship like she did.
I feel like this is extremely good advice. Most people have the tools to get their ex back but this is the first video I’ve seen that actually encourages you to have a good and positive mindset in order not to overthink or get doubtful. Nice work 👍👍
I’ve been watching relationship advice video for years, Clay you are by far one of the best. I haven’t made any progress (all thanks to myself!) but your videos all make so much sense. I basically did the opposite of what you suggested but man, I’m actually hopeful for the future.
Thanks for the compliment, meerespflanzen . What is important is that we learned something from our experiences so we can make better choices today and in the future. All the best.
Okay please read this if you’re desperate as i was and crying all the time, thinking and wondering if he will come back and what if he will find someone else better that me and what if i was’t the best girlfriend and the last thing he will do is come back. I know, i was there too. I was so desperate that i stoped eating and i was crying all the time, also i put my school on the side and now i have so much to work to do. I know that you’re hurting but please listen to me. As soon as we came back together with my boyfriend i felt a need to spread this message because when i was where you are now, i was searching for tons of videos on youtube and forums on internet trying to find way to get my ex back. And after i watched every video, i was searching for comments where people wrote their experiences and HOW LONG WILL HE NEED TO COME BACK BECAUSE I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM. and all i found was poor souls writing that they never came back and they are still in no contact and it’s already more than 3 months. I was like nooo i can’t wait that long and all of this thing. I want YOU to know that there is enormous possibility that he WILL COME BACK. MY EX CAME BACK AFTER ONE WEEK. AND YES IT’S POSSIBLE AND IM NOT THE ONLY CASE. People who was lucky enough as i was don’t write comments anymore. They are to happy and they leave that behind so that’s why there is 99% of cases that have sad story and their exes haven’t came back. So please stay positive, don’t cry all the time, PLEASE DON’T OVERTHINK. My boyfriend for example did all the thing he knew i didn’t like and that i was scared about just for making me jealous. He didn’t have bad planes, it was just to hurt me and that i will be pissed and start writing him things about that and he already didn’t like that about me(jealousy). Also let me say that he was so sure about break up that i was sure that he meant it. And when he came back he told me that he was angry than and he saw only bad thing about our relationship. THAT IS WHY YOU NEEEEED TO LEAVE HIM ALONE, to find out what is like to not having you and that you don’t react out for him as you did. Leave phone alone, don’t stalk him because you will make scenarios that don’t even exist. You will think for the worst one. PLEASE BE POSITIVE AND HAPPY. If you had healthy relationship he will soon found out what you meant to him and what he had. And do no contact. Its the best you can do because if you don’t let him experience what is like without you he won’t have a need to get you back. Now smile and be the best version about yourself. And work on things that you’re not proud of and are hurting your relationship.❤️❤️❤️
I really hope and wish everyone the best when it comes to getting back with her ex. Trust me, I really miss mine too. She was the love of my life. We have a beautiful two-year-old son together but at the end of the day make sure when you get back with your ex that the second time is not just for the memories because if they have not changed, it’s bound to be a repeat of the first time
Hey Myra, That is so true, that is why we have to manage our negative self-talk and even challenge our BS machine especially if there's not enough evidence to support those stories in our head. All the best.
hay Clay thank you for your precious advices .. what you think about that: I did almost all of what you said but I end up getting blocked each time I try
Hey there, Thank you very much for your kind words. I truly appreciate it. :-) All the best in your journey and your success in always in our thoughts.
Clay, we’ve met a few times since our break-up (he ended it after 2 1/2tears) which is almost a year now, and each time there’s been more physicalness - touching of arms. He said he misses me (I told him I missed him too) and he still cares about me. We had a great time catching up. We’re getting together again for his birthday. I want to know when and how to go from ‘regular conversations’ about everyday things to the ‘emotional’ conversations. And what do you mean by that exactly? Thank you!
i was just following other coaches steps and doing this and that and everytime i feel like i mess up i break down but listening to this you really helped me realize that the progress i've done was huge and important and that it's not about her . it's more about me and what i think and what i reflect
Thanks for the positive compliment, Space Wolf. :-) Glad to hear that you are working on yourself and well-being to improve your chances of building better relationships. :-)
Hi Clay, I broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago, and pretty much kept no contact, to let things breathe. We met up last Saturday for a dog walk, so was thinking I would be with her atleast an hour. It actually was nearly 5hrs !!. We took pup for a walk, had a pub lunch and then went shopping. She also showed several signs of affection and talked about several things we could do next year. Sounds good right ?. Only thing is..She has both her son's living with her, who want her not to date anybody and just want it to be the three of them. It is clear we both love each other very much and she has seen the changes in me with my fitness, patience and calmness. I just want to hold her so much, but it's now been yet another week with no contact. It's so close to Xmas and all I want is slow steps back to a stronger then ever relationship. I know we are right for each other.
She is torn between being a woman and being a mother. The mother in her wants to do what will keep her relationship with her sons strong. The woman in her wants what feels good (sounds like being with you fits the bill...). She is and always will be a woman, so don't forget that. But she is also trying to balance that with being a good mother.
I just want to thank you, you've been really helping me throughout this month. I'm glad that i actually didn't do damage control mode; or at least showed it to him lol.
I was well and truly on track until I wasn't anymore! We were supposed to meet and he texted last minute to postpone until a later date, then when that day came, he said he couldn't make it. I really don't know what went wrong. For now I'm going no contact.
Thanks for the kind words, Joe. I'm going to be posting more videos now that it's the new year. I just need to brainstorm new ideas and of course film :)
Confused with emotional connection, having loads of empathy but I’m trying Not to put my ex on a pedestal like I have done in the past and then I become needy as he tells me he wants me then I pushed him away again, so I’m trying to do no contact as it worked last time and got him to open up, but how do I do that and act cool and not put him on a pedestal without looking to cold and for us to still have a connection, we have definitely made progress over the last few months but this is like 3 month now I think I keep doing the wrong things x
Changing me for me because I need and want too, he states I am a different person and he is spell bound which has made him pull away but i continue to keep moving forward and work on making me a better me and do not contact him . He sent me a best friend video and has told me how much he misses and loves me but yet he is seeing someone else that he knows nothing about and doesn’t want too ! It is frustrating but I continue to be positive and know we will start over in a new relationship better than before !!!
I don't live near my ex nor work together nor have mutual friends with him, so all I can do for now is chatting. so what do I need to talk about when it's first and second stage?
ClAy quick question ? In one of your videos you said be friends with your ex but get that emotional connection back. So my ex basically is talking to someone but told me he wants to be friends ... and basically is still caught up on the fights and arguements that we had in the relationship... basically it’s a block and i wanna unblock so we are friends but how can I get him back if his speaking to someone else ... I mean he did say he feel like he can’t trust me and also feel as thoe my attuide plus other stuff need to change and us not fussing
So my ex and I broke up about 9 months ago, didn't talk for a few months but then we started rekindling for about 5-6 months, hanging out, intimacy, etc. I feel like honestly we made tons of progress and were pretty close to taking steps to getting back together, we were very connected and had lots of fun, however he hit brakesa few days ago and is now trying to have something with some other girl (btw, this girl has ALWAYS been present, they have always been friends and she's always been into him and suddenly he says he's into her too and wants to try something) so I feel like all the progress we had just died :( I don't know if this means I have to start over... so far I've been not contacting him cause I don't want to annoy him or anything, but I don't know if I should just keep talking to him as usual or just start over. I feel like she's a rebound and he just hit brakes because he was scared. He told me he cares very much about me but he wants to explore new things, and isn't sure if I've changed. So yeah, a bit stuck here.
Sounds like he is at "Crisis Point" and is looking for a way out of having to address his feelings for you. These sorts of things are common, but not impossible to overcome.
Clay Andrews thank you for replying! I also felt like he’s in crisis point. So far I’ve been not contacting him because it just happened a few days ago... maybe I should just let him sort through his feelings and see if what he felt/feels for me is enough or if I should just let him go
All of my exes are bunch of stubborn rebellious narcissistic damn fools, Married the wrong men for all the wrong reasons they don't give a damn about me and they never did.
So my ex drives by and doesn't have to come by my home. Also we keep running into each other in stores. And he parks by me when he sees my car in a store parking lot
Clay any idea what it means if she blocked me to “help me not hurt” and then a month later asks me to talk when I’ve left her alone only to tell me she feels bad about blocking me but doesn’t see a future with me? We’ve been broken up for 5 months now but she admitted to me and coworkers that she isn’t over me yet still has me blocked and is dating someone else. Is there still hope she’ll come back if she’s with someone else, blocked me, dating another guy, and deleting photos of us. I hate how I keep doing no contact and she initiated contact only to tell me she still doesn’t feel the same. It hurts man I don’t know what to do
My ex and I haven’t spoken since the beginning of January. He broke up with me for personal issues and unfriended me on all social media apps in late December. I’m unsure what to do but he hasn’t contacted me at all.
Hi AP, yes, we do have books in Amazon and thank you for buying one. :-) We hope you will enjoy reading our books and we would appreciate if you will leave a review in the future.
omg im freaking out been broke up with my bf of 7 years for about 10 months ,he waits 3 months then calls ,just for dinner ,movie ,sex,no relationship,which is fine,this goes on regularly then bam ,he runs away sometimes with other woman which je denies,humiliates me..then out of blue je calls ,sex dinner,movie we talk have a good time..then gone again,no word its infuriating pls help me
I truly believe I can get my ex back it’s only been a couple days I wasn’t perfect but neither was she if I were to have a reset I guarantee I could stop doing what I used to 100%
You have the present moment, Seylle, to make that big difference. A present moment to make better choices that would define your chances in the future of getting back together. :-)
One time my ex blocked me on face book because I was full on rage and we fought. She didn't block my number but I didn't text her or anything I cooled down and took a month or two to gather my thoughts and I texted her and apologize on how I reacted. Now I'm neutral not desperate or anything she broke my heart many times but I still love for some reason other girls I loved before her I can shake but she's the only one that I can't shake and I don't know why. Now we speak ever once an awhile because she's in college so I'm just hanging back and let her go through college and focused on that. Then try to see where she and I stand so we have time to get our thoughts together and all the stress gone. I love to get back together but my sister and mom wouldn't like it. I don't know what it is but but I see something in her that I dont think anyone else seen or picked up on.
I was with my wife for 8 years, 6 years together 2 years of marriage, she said our relationship was getting boring we were working too much and sex was non existent, she's in a relationship with a woman right now, I'm broken living alone, been trying to get her back and trying to make her jealous, so far it's only distanced us more so I hope we get back together one day soon, especially for my daughters sake, these videos make me feel like there's a big chance but idk at this point
I do believe we can make this work but with the first step of an apology after a partial no contact. Would a letter be good after two weeks? For him to truly understand logically that I have taken accountability of the issues n be more emphatic. Would this help with his insecurities of his incapability that is due to my issues?
I believe in believing’ I know bc I can feel it. I know she’s mad and I understand that but I do believe in myself that me and her are getting back together. I’m never giving up’ I know she’s meant to be mines
Hey clay great video 👍🏽 Me & my ex dont talk atall now she broke up with me 4 months ago so im done wiv initiating conversation & last few times she ignored my texts. Iv been in no contact 6 weeks now but bfore xmas she bought my kids presents so i just text saying thanks. I ended up buying her kids some things to .i called to her house to gve her them but she didnt answer the door twice ( she was in i saw her ) but few days later txt saying thanks. Her fakeness is killing me as she wud of always said call in anytime or txt phone stay friends but its all lies just to be nice. But wer do i go from here ? Heads all over the place.
Hey man , my gf dumped me 3 weeks ago because she felt distant . We were together for 10 months . We’ve broken up 4-5 times before but always got back together in like a day or two except this time . The day she broke up with me she said she still would like to be friends . What do I do ??
So is me cutting off contact to heal a good thing? Would this give him time to think over things like what he's done as a person and to quit lying to himself?
Taking time to heal is a good idea if you need to heal. If you're hoping to trigger a specific response in him, though, this borders on mind games, and it's not something that I would recommend as a great goal for doing something.
We lived together for 10 years, and then we broke up for 10 years. We made peace with each other 4 years ago, and we gone out to dinner off and on, and we gone on vacation together a couple of times. Ge tells me his feelings changed 😢and he holds his distance now and plays hot and cold. He said he is scared WTH. He calls, txs, but not seeing each other for a couple of months. What should I think. I guess all men are players, but that isn't his style . Should I distance myself
There is nothing wrong missing the person, but how you would turn those feelings into a more productive outcome will make a bigger difference. All the best.
@@timingiseverything8022 Same here.. we spent 9 years together.There are pullbacks but also positive things.We saw each other on Easter a bit and she said she's still getting used to the way things are.We have kind of healed each other.We broke up In January but we just seem to have a strong emotional connection.We have texted quite a bit the last 3 months.She will pullback some but always comes back with a text or a selfie.I strongly believe in us.
Me and my ex got together yesterday had sex talked and I told him to unblock me off social media and he just blocked me from another page but he still textes me on my phone saying he deleted the other Facebook he had with the rebound relationship but I still think he's going to talk to her when I'm not around and I'm pregnant with his baby at this point I'm scared he just wanted sex I love him so much I poured my eyes out to him.
My ex came back we’ve been talking for a month now but we are taking it really slow .but then Saturday he went silent on me and hadn’t been txting much.what is happening?any insight would be appreciated
Focus on the connection between you and your ex... Don't worry about any rebound relationship. If your connection with your ex is strong enough, the rebound will take care of itself.
She’s cold with me, she’s is seeing someone else. We still live together but I’m moving out because I can’t take it anymore. How would I recover if she comes back to me and I know what she has done? 😞
I'm sorry to hear about that, SnowLine714. I understand that it may take acceptance and healing on your end to move forward in case she gets back to you. But it still depends if what she had done is something that is not aligned on your personal values or not. That is where you can decide what is best for you.
Hi Phairie Girl, Doing a passive approach will not step in and bring you your dream partner or fix your broken relationship into your ideal relationship. The passive approach will do absolutely nothing but keep you as a spectator in life as you pray that things finally change. There's the best time to wit and the best time to do an active approach.
all the stuff about Facebook and social media what about if you're not into all that and your exes or your your partner is and it's just not your thing information is not there what how do you deal with this what's going on some of us are just basic people who don't get into all that what's the end result or ways to deal with it
My ex says everything but he wants to be with me because he's in a rebound relationship and it's fustrating I blocked him on Snapchat after we had a good conversation.
Hi, Clay i was in a relationship for two years and we broke up 5 months ago. She has been on two dates since our breakup but she says she is not ready for any relationship at this stage. We do chat from time to time, but she has no intentions of giving us a second chance. In our last conversation we had she said that it is not easy for her and that she still misses me. Its has been 5 months now since the breakup so do i give up and move on or should i give it more time?
You have to decide if this is something you want or not. If it's something you want, then go for it. If it's not something you want, then it's okay to give up. But at the end of the day, you need to stand behind whatever you choose 100%. In terms of whether or not I think you still have a chance, I know better than to write anyone off. I've seen too many people salvage a relationship from what I thought were impossible situations to ever write anyone off. The most important factor is whether or not you're willing to pull through the challenges that come up along the way or not. Whatever your choice is, it is 100% okay, but you have to own it.
I did everything right. For 7 years we dint even fight for once. We dint argued we dint even yelled at each other. He gave up on me he walked away. After 4 months hes already dating. It hurts but i did everything right even too much for him. He just broke me
Hi Tanilee, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. The fact that the relationship didn't work and lead to break up, something really went wrong along the way. We understand that you feel hurt and we hope you would find the time to heal from what happened. Sending more positive energies on your end.
Me and my ex split last September, she moved out with the children and set up a new home. In the new year we tried again but I became very insecure and obsessive and pushed her away. Since then I’ve got myself together and I’m much more confident about myself. She still maintains that we are only friends now, we are going on a vacation next week that was already planned, we get on well at the moment and have lighthearted txt from time to time. I know she has been out on a date with someone else but I think that’s all it was. What do I do from here? I’m thinking the vacation is a good opportunity to show her a new and improved me? How do I approach this....
Hi Matty, the change that you have made for your self will come out naturally. You don't have to act or make any form of approach that is not who you really are. Your personality and character itself and the changes that you have made will guide you throughout the interaction.
Clay Andrews cheers Clay. I’ll let you know how it goes. I’ve already been told that “we won’t be getting back together” but I’m willing to stand the rest of time, after all nothing worth having was ever easy to get right
Clay Andrews I watched one of your videos and you say it often takes months to get back with your ex, this gives me a lot of hope. A lot of these other videos make it sound like a quick process however right now my ex seems to feel she has made the right decision, I have a lot of work to do
Is it possible to get back with a ex even though she's left me 5 times now in 27 years? And did I mentioned But she's bipolar and PTSD. if that plays a factor in relationships that is. And within a week and a half of being separated there's a new guy. From my church. so is that possible to get back even though she says there's no hope for it?
I personally cannot give you an assurance for that. But it seems like your ex needs to work on her well-being, for now, to manage what she is going through as a person.
My ex broke up with me beacuse she wasnt able to handle relationship , she wants be back but she haa nothing to give me she still loves me but she asked me to move on she doesn't know that even she will come back or not' she said that there are chances in future but she isnt compatible with me and we also ended up in good terms
my ex broke up with me 5month ago i did the beging and pleading which was a bad idea/it’s been one month since i’m in no contact and in the 20th day he said hello to me at school and i ignored him/ he’s the first reading my messages in group chats and always glare a look at me at school i can’t stop thinking about him i changed i’m always working i don’t even have free time anymore i changed myself a lot for me i’m a completely different person mentally and physically but i don’t know what to do to have his attention and to come back to me he’s really stubborn he’s a hard guy help me please what do i have to do p.s sorry for my bad english
Hi Curtis, I understand how tough it must be to see your ex with your band. But always remember to separate your personal romantic life against your professional life. It will test our emotional resilience as well. All the best.
THEY DO COME BACK! Well about a month ago my ex girlfriend packed up our house and moved out while I was at work. Because I’ve visited a female friend that’s correct only her friend. I went into no contact a few Texas here in there back-and-forth. Yesterday evening I got the farewell I’ll always love you and thank you for let me love you Text. I waited an hour and a half to respond with “you’re welcome take care” blocked her. Fast forward till this evening. She is now texting my daughter HI how are you? If you need anything I’m here. 🤨🤔! Wonder why?
Hi Kwane, We are not quite sure of the true intent of your ex when it comes to texting our daughter. But we have to understand that she and your daughter has a different relationship than yours and that is something that she might be taking care of as well despite what happened to both of you. All the best.
Me and my boyfriend were together for 3 months (14 October -January something) then he left me for no reason and dated two girls at the same time and we broke up for a month And then in (15 February the day after valentines day) he came to me and was like "for the past month you thought I was happy even though I wasn’t and I fucked up when I broke up with you for no reason and when I Noticed you got over me fast I dated other girls to get over you but obviously it didn’t work" he even showed me the wounds and cuts and all the injuries he did to his self because he regrets leaving me and in 17 February we got back together and it was my bday in 20 February and he got me gifts and all that and now it’s February 23 so.. so far since we came back together we’ve been dating for six days and hopefully longer
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Please Share Your Thoughts So That We Can Make Something That You Truly Want - docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSemW2BXSk4-FcjLh2ma3vQ3XGbjIcVGkFMB3XkyREVx7LzsrQ/viewform
My ex came back after 7 months. I broke no contact every few weeks, sometimes after longer. She wasn't in good place when she contacted me. I thought she was doing great after our break up. Instead she was doing worse than me. I didn't think she was coming back, but i prayed to the lord every day and it happened. I guess my point is if you love someone that deeply, then pray to Father God in the name of Jesus. For as long as you can.
I'm glad you got the relationship you wanted :)
Amen to that i needed to hear that very inspirational thanks
Amen to that
my wife said she is done with me she doesn't feel happy with me anymore but I love her so much I never cheated on her I'm loyal to my wife but it's really sad she doesn't see it how rich my love is for her I know she will met and go out with cheaters or worse maybe she will regret it leaving me true love and loyalty we and also have a child together
I hope mine comes back after she is having an affair now ...think I’ll just have to wait..
If your ex loves you as much as they say they did , you’ll get back together
But we have to give them the best reason for them to get back with us. That is why we have to make an authentic change to inspire them to get back to us at the same time changing the dynamics for both of you not to get back to the old type of relationship.
Me and my ex will get back together I'ma speak into existence.
Any update?
amen
At a boy
Me and my ex got back together :)
I'm happy for you! Enjoy your new relationship together :)
Clay Andrews thank you!
Wish I could be that lucky...that's all I want and I know he will never want me ever again. I can't take the pain anymore
@@adriennem1884 don't think it or say that if you want him... believing is achieving
How did you get him back?
For me, this is a great idea but I just don't want to assume on him anymore because if he really wants to come back with me again
he would definitely find a way.
My hardest task was to quit overthinking and creating stories about what could be happening.
What do you usually do if you feel that you are overthinking?
All I can say is move on, i don't know why but they always come back, from what I heard.
U mean it?
@@katiewhiting9945 cant say for sure but I would suggest working on yourself, go out and do things you havent done that's been on your mind, for me I've been going out and doing things and going to the gym helps me build my confidence. I moved on and I dont want my ex back anymore for the person who she was she wasnt a good person so if they comeback to you it's up to you if you want them back I made my decision and alot happier being single and know myself worth. I can get a better girl and I know that for sure I'm not rushing into a relationship like she did.
We are back together
Bad break up but in time My ex came back completely different, sorry and Persuing me. 💜
Yes, what you believe IS what you will see. Thank you for the reminder. 👍🏻
This fella has the absolute BEST relationship advice online! Brilliant and so helpful!!! Thank you so much!
Hi Kari, Thank you very much on your kind words. We truly appreciate the positive feedback and it means a lot for us. :-)
I feel like this is extremely good advice. Most people have the tools to get their ex back but this is the first video I’ve seen that actually encourages you to have a good and positive mindset in order not to overthink or get doubtful. Nice work 👍👍
Clay you are the best, I been taking notes and using them and there working, Thank u Buddy!!
Chasing someone who doesn't want you is codependency. Work on yourself and move on.
Lmao yeah I’m sure the people watching this video are gonna listen to that advice
Who says you have to chase them , why not attract them then make them regret leaving you
Its not codependent it can be but not always
@imahelpfulperson its not always true only sometimes
And self-respect
GREAT Message Clay! 💪
Me and my ex will be we had to see no one can take our place in our hearts God’s timing it will happen
I’ve been watching relationship advice video for years, Clay you are by far one of the best. I haven’t made any progress (all thanks to myself!) but your videos all make so much sense. I basically did the opposite of what you suggested but man, I’m actually hopeful for the future.
Thanks for the compliment, meerespflanzen . What is important is that we learned something from our experiences so we can make better choices today and in the future. All the best.
Great video! I am working on it! Thank you very much Clay
Thank you Clay. This made my day so much better.
i normally don't comment any videos, but you're doooing such a great job and i wanted to let you know and say thank you!!
Thanks. Your comment made my moment :)
Thank you so much for all of these.
Thank you so much clay. Its been a long road for my ex and I...we are slowly working things out and the sex is better than ever👍
Wow that is so fascinating. So interestingly, you actually have a chance if you totally let go and don't care about the outcome
This video made me feel better about my situation. Thank you
You're welcome, xercesawake. We are happy to hear that this specific video made you feel good about your journey. :-)
My recent ex will love me and want me as a boyfriend again really soon, speaking it into existence and placing it into the universe !!!
Okay please read this if you’re desperate as i was and crying all the time, thinking and wondering if he will come back and what if he will find someone else better that me and what if i was’t the best girlfriend and the last thing he will do is come back. I know, i was there too. I was so desperate that i stoped eating and i was crying all the time, also i put my school on the side and now i have so much to work to do. I know that you’re hurting but please listen to me. As soon as we came back together with my boyfriend i felt a need to spread this message because when i was where you are now, i was searching for tons of videos on youtube and forums on internet trying to find way to get my ex back. And after i watched every video, i was searching for comments where people wrote their experiences and HOW LONG WILL HE NEED TO COME BACK BECAUSE I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM. and all i found was poor souls writing that they never came back and they are still in no contact and it’s already more than 3 months. I was like nooo i can’t wait that long and all of this thing. I want YOU to know that there is enormous possibility that he WILL COME BACK. MY EX CAME BACK AFTER ONE WEEK. AND YES IT’S POSSIBLE AND IM NOT THE ONLY CASE. People who was lucky enough as i was don’t write comments anymore. They are to happy and they leave that behind so that’s why there is 99% of cases that have sad story and their exes haven’t came back. So please stay positive, don’t cry all the time, PLEASE DON’T OVERTHINK. My boyfriend for example did all the thing he knew i didn’t like and that i was scared about just for making me jealous. He didn’t have bad planes, it was just to hurt me and that i will be pissed and start writing him things about that and he already didn’t like that about me(jealousy). Also let me say that he was so sure about break up that i was sure that he meant it. And when he came back he told me that he was angry than and he saw only bad thing about our relationship. THAT IS WHY YOU NEEEEED TO LEAVE HIM ALONE, to find out what is like to not having you and that you don’t react out for him as you did. Leave phone alone, don’t stalk him because you will make scenarios that don’t even exist. You will think for the worst one. PLEASE BE POSITIVE AND HAPPY. If you had healthy relationship he will soon found out what you meant to him and what he had. And do no contact. Its the best you can do because if you don’t let him experience what is like without you he won’t have a need to get you back. Now smile and be the best version about yourself. And work on things that you’re not proud of and are hurting your relationship.❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much!
I’ve already done the work I am at peace it will be staying positive god loves all
I really hope and wish everyone the best when it comes to getting back with her ex. Trust me, I really miss mine too. She was the love of my life. We have a beautiful two-year-old son together but at the end of the day make sure when you get back with your ex that the second time is not just for the memories because if they have not changed, it’s bound to be a repeat of the first time
Those head story’s are mental!
Hey Myra, That is so true, that is why we have to manage our negative self-talk and even challenge our BS machine especially if there's not enough evidence to support those stories in our head. All the best.
I do enjoy watching videos that teaches me more knowledge which is a source of power.
Thanks for watching and we truly appreciate your compliment. :-)
hay Clay thank you for your precious advices .. what you think about that: I did almost all of what you said but I end up getting blocked each time I try
You are so good !
I don't know what will going to happen but you're really a big help. Thank you 👍👍👍
Hey there, Thank you very much for your kind words. I truly appreciate it. :-) All the best in your journey and your success in always in our thoughts.
Clay, we’ve met a few times since our break-up (he ended it after 2 1/2tears) which is almost a year now, and each time there’s been more physicalness - touching of arms. He said he misses me (I told him I missed him too) and he still cares about me. We had a great time catching up. We’re getting together again for his birthday. I want to know when and how to go from ‘regular conversations’ about everyday things to the ‘emotional’ conversations. And what do you mean by that exactly? Thank you!
i was just following other coaches steps and doing this and that and everytime i feel like i mess up i break down but listening to this you really helped me realize that the progress i've done was huge and important and that it's not about her . it's more about me and what i think and what i reflect
Thanks for the positive compliment, Space Wolf. :-) Glad to hear that you are working on yourself and well-being to improve your chances of building better relationships. :-)
Hi Clay, I broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago, and pretty much kept no contact, to let things breathe. We met up last Saturday for a dog walk, so was thinking I would be with her atleast an hour. It actually was nearly 5hrs !!. We took pup for a walk, had a pub lunch and then went shopping. She also showed several signs of affection and talked about several things we could do next year. Sounds good right ?. Only thing is..She has both her son's living with her, who want her not to date anybody and just want it to be the three of them. It is clear we both love each other very much and she has seen the changes in me with my fitness, patience and calmness. I just want to hold her so much, but it's now been yet another week with no contact. It's so close to Xmas and all I want is slow steps back to a stronger then ever relationship. I know we are right for each other.
She is torn between being a woman and being a mother. The mother in her wants to do what will keep her relationship with her sons strong. The woman in her wants what feels good (sounds like being with you fits the bill...). She is and always will be a woman, so don't forget that. But she is also trying to balance that with being a good mother.
I just want to thank you, you've been really helping me throughout this month. I'm glad that i actually didn't do damage control mode; or at least showed it to him lol.
thank you
Thank you so much
I was well and truly on track until I wasn't anymore! We were supposed to meet and he texted last minute to postpone until a later date, then when that day came, he said he couldn't make it. I really don't know what went wrong. For now I'm going no contact.
I like your advice 👏😁
Thank you! 😃
Hi Clay thanks for advice but now Ive never had ex that doesn't want me back wonder if is good or bad they always come back.
Thanks clay. Your a genius. Your experience in managing resiliency in looking through negative ways has a point. I would like to hear from you more..
Thanks for the kind words, Joe. I'm going to be posting more videos now that it's the new year. I just need to brainstorm new ideas and of course film :)
Confused with emotional connection, having loads of empathy but I’m trying Not to put my ex on a pedestal like I have done in the past and then I become needy as he tells me he wants me then I pushed him away again, so I’m trying to do no contact as it worked last time and got him to open up, but how do I do that and act cool and not put him on a pedestal without looking to cold and for us to still have a connection, we have definitely made progress over the last few months but this is like 3 month now I think I keep doing the wrong things x
Changing me for me because I need and want too, he states I am a different person and he is spell bound which has made him pull away but i continue to keep moving forward and work on making me a better me and do not contact him . He sent me a best friend video and has told me how much he misses and loves me but yet he is seeing someone else that he knows nothing about and doesn’t want too ! It is frustrating but I continue to be positive and know we will start over in a new relationship better than before !!!
ur wonderfull!
I don't live near my ex nor work together nor have mutual friends with him, so all I can do for now is chatting. so what do I need to talk about when it's first and second stage?
Thanks lord this show up.... I’m having big trouble but I have made progresses
You're welcome, YourAsianComrade 27. It's great to hear that you are making good progress. :-)
What if she wants to take me out for my birthday?
ClAy quick question ? In one of your videos you said be friends with your ex but get that emotional connection back. So my ex basically is talking to someone but told me he wants to be friends ... and basically is still caught up on the fights and arguements that we had in the relationship... basically it’s a block and i wanna unblock so we are friends but how can I get him back if his speaking to someone else ... I mean he did say he feel like he can’t trust me and also feel as thoe my attuide plus other stuff need to change and us not fussing
So my ex and I broke up about 9 months ago, didn't talk for a few months but then we started rekindling for about 5-6 months, hanging out, intimacy, etc. I feel like honestly we made tons of progress and were pretty close to taking steps to getting back together, we were very connected and had lots of fun, however he hit brakesa few days ago and is now trying to have something with some other girl (btw, this girl has ALWAYS been present, they have always been friends and she's always been into him and suddenly he says he's into her too and wants to try something) so I feel like all the progress we had just died :(
I don't know if this means I have to start over... so far I've been not contacting him cause I don't want to annoy him or anything, but I don't know if I should just keep talking to him as usual or just start over. I feel like she's a rebound and he just hit brakes because he was scared. He told me he cares very much about me but he wants to explore new things, and isn't sure if I've changed. So yeah, a bit stuck here.
Sounds like he is at "Crisis Point" and is looking for a way out of having to address his feelings for you. These sorts of things are common, but not impossible to overcome.
Clay Andrews thank you for replying! I also felt like he’s in crisis point. So far I’ve been not contacting him because it just happened a few days ago... maybe I should just let him sort through his feelings and see if what he felt/feels for me is enough or if I should just let him go
Same but my ex needed a place to stay so now he’s living with me
RESPECT
All of my exes are bunch of stubborn rebellious narcissistic damn fools, Married the wrong men for all the wrong reasons they don't give a damn about me and they never did.
Would you please explain for me. What mean my friend says I don’t like you Sorry. And he said forgive me thank
Its normal if u trust your ex will back , one day they will
If she can leave you once she can do it again. Live with that shadow over you if you like...... 😨
So my ex drives by and doesn't have to come by my home. Also we keep running into each other in stores. And he parks by me when he sees my car in a store parking lot
Just don’t know
Clay any idea what it means if she blocked me to “help me not hurt” and then a month later asks me to talk when I’ve left her alone only to tell me she feels bad about blocking me but doesn’t see a future with me? We’ve been broken up for 5 months now but she admitted to me and coworkers that she isn’t over me yet still has me blocked and is dating someone else. Is there still hope she’ll come back if she’s with someone else, blocked me, dating another guy, and deleting photos of us. I hate how I keep doing no contact and she initiated contact only to tell me she still doesn’t feel the same. It hurts man I don’t know what to do
Why my x deactivate all his accounts after our break up....
My ex and I haven’t spoken since the beginning of January. He broke up with me for personal issues and unfriended me on all social media apps in late December. I’m unsure what to do but he hasn’t contacted me at all.
You have a book too. Just bought it.
Hi AP, yes, we do have books in Amazon and thank you for buying one. :-) We hope you will enjoy reading our books and we would appreciate if you will leave a review in the future.
Clay Andrews read two of them
And must say it feels like someone is sitting with you and guiding you.
omg im freaking out been broke up with my bf of 7 years for about 10 months ,he waits 3 months then calls ,just for dinner ,movie ,sex,no relationship,which is fine,this goes on regularly then bam ,he runs away sometimes with other woman which je denies,humiliates me..then out of blue je calls ,sex dinner,movie we talk have a good time..then gone again,no word its infuriating pls help me
We are together now 😇
Congrats, Rithi. :-)
I truly believe I can get my ex back it’s only been a couple days I wasn’t perfect but neither was she if I were to have a reset I guarantee I could stop doing what I used to 100%
You have the present moment, Seylle, to make that big difference. A present moment to make better choices that would define your chances in the future of getting back together. :-)
One time my ex blocked me on face book because I was full on rage and we fought. She didn't block my number but I didn't text her or anything I cooled down and took a month or two to gather my thoughts and I texted her and apologize on how I reacted. Now I'm neutral not desperate or anything she broke my heart many times but I still love for some reason other girls I loved before her I can shake but she's the only one that I can't shake and I don't know why. Now we speak ever once an awhile because she's in college so I'm just hanging back and let her go through college and focused on that. Then try to see where she and I stand so we have time to get our thoughts together and all the stress gone. I love to get back together but my sister and mom wouldn't like it. I don't know what it is but but I see something in her that I dont think anyone else seen or picked up on.
I was with my wife for 8 years, 6 years together 2 years of marriage, she said our relationship was getting boring we were working too much and sex was non existent, she's in a relationship with a woman right now, I'm broken living alone, been trying to get her back and trying to make her jealous, so far it's only distanced us more so I hope we get back together one day soon, especially for my daughters sake, these videos make me feel like there's a big chance but idk at this point
I do believe we can make this work but with the first step of an apology after a partial no contact. Would a letter be good after two weeks? For him to truly understand logically that I have taken accountability of the issues n be more emphatic. Would this help with his insecurities of his incapability that is due to my issues?
Also he never initiates? Should I stop?
I believe in believing’ I know bc I can feel it. I know she’s mad and I understand that but I do believe in myself that me and her are getting back together. I’m never giving up’ I know she’s meant to be mines
Valerie Jones 3 days? show me
Hey clay great video 👍🏽
Me & my ex dont talk atall now she broke up with me 4 months ago so im done wiv initiating conversation & last few times she ignored my texts.
Iv been in no contact 6 weeks now but bfore xmas she bought my kids presents so i just text saying thanks. I ended up buying her kids some things to .i called to her house to gve her them but she didnt answer the door twice ( she was in i saw her ) but few days later txt saying thanks. Her fakeness is killing me as she wud of always said call in anytime or txt phone stay friends but its all lies just to be nice.
But wer do i go from here ?
Heads all over the place.
why my ex stops posting on fb after our break up
Hey man , my gf dumped me 3 weeks ago because she felt distant . We were together for 10 months . We’ve broken up 4-5 times before but always got back together in like a day or two except this time . The day she broke up with me she said she still would like to be friends .
What do I do ??
So is me cutting off contact to heal a good thing? Would this give him time to think over things like what he's done as a person and to quit lying to himself?
Taking time to heal is a good idea if you need to heal. If you're hoping to trigger a specific response in him, though, this borders on mind games, and it's not something that I would recommend as a great goal for doing something.
@@ClayAndrews Thank you again. Your videos help me out a lot.
we had happy fun time and she opened up to me about how she was really liking me again and wish we could date again
We lived together for 10 years, and then we broke up for 10 years. We made peace with each other 4 years ago, and we gone out to dinner off and on, and we gone on vacation together a couple of times. Ge tells me his feelings changed 😢and he holds his distance now and plays hot and cold. He said he is scared WTH. He calls, txs, but not seeing each other for a couple of months. What should I think. I guess all men are players, but that isn't his style . Should I distance myself
Than yo clay for , have heart , for helping manny peoplse
This is hard
I miss her so much it's killing me 😭
There is nothing wrong missing the person, but how you would turn those feelings into a more productive outcome will make a bigger difference. All the best.
U telling me it sucks 😢😭
@@timingiseverything8022 Same here.. we spent 9 years together.There are pullbacks but also positive things.We saw each other on Easter a bit and she said she's still getting used to the way things are.We have kind of healed each other.We broke up In January but we just seem to have a strong emotional connection.We have texted quite a bit the last 3 months.She will pullback some but always comes back with a text or a selfie.I strongly believe in us.
Me and my ex got together yesterday had sex talked and I told him to unblock me off social media and he just blocked me from another page but he still textes me on my phone saying he deleted the other Facebook he had with the rebound relationship but I still think he's going to talk to her when I'm not around and I'm pregnant with his baby at this point I'm scared he just wanted sex I love him so much I poured my eyes out to him.
Girl are you okay now ? Is everything ok ?
My ex came back we’ve been talking for a month now but we are taking it really slow .but then Saturday he went silent on me and hadn’t been txting much.what is happening?any insight would be appreciated
No One he may have been coming back to inflate his ego before he gets back out there
What if your ex tell you he has an affinity to another person. And you then subtly mention another guy thats helping you.
Focus on the connection between you and your ex... Don't worry about any rebound relationship. If your connection with your ex is strong enough, the rebound will take care of itself.
She’s cold with me, she’s is seeing someone else. We still live together but I’m moving out because I can’t take it anymore. How would I recover if she comes back to me and I know what she has done? 😞
I'm sorry to hear about that, SnowLine714. I understand that it may take acceptance and healing on your end to move forward in case she gets back to you. But it still depends if what she had done is something that is not aligned on your personal values or not. That is where you can decide what is best for you.
When I see such types of video understand how our world became crazy with internet and how people fuck their mind by everything concerning it all.
I can't see how there can be hope if you don't hear from him, ever. and no I am not calling him or texting or messaging.
Hi Phairie Girl, Doing a passive approach will not step in and bring you your dream partner or fix your broken relationship into your ideal relationship. The passive approach will do absolutely nothing but keep you as a spectator in life as you pray that things finally change. There's the best time to wit and the best time to do an active approach.
all the stuff about Facebook and social media what about if you're not into all that and your exes or your your partner is and it's just not your thing information is not there what how do you deal with this what's going on some of us are just basic people who don't get into all that what's the end result or ways to deal with it
My ex says everything but he wants to be with me because he's in a rebound relationship and it's fustrating I blocked him on Snapchat after we had a good conversation.
I could use a rebound too hmu
Sir Clay. I'm in a long distrance relationship. My gf is on a rebound relationship. I know she loves me but she can't comeback. I dont know what to do
Update?
Update
Hi, Clay i was in a relationship for two years and we broke up 5 months ago. She has been on two dates since our breakup but she says she is not ready for any relationship at this stage. We do chat from time to time, but she has no intentions of giving us a second chance. In our last conversation we had she said that it is not easy for her and that she still misses me. Its has been 5 months now since the breakup so do i give up and move on or should i give it more time?
You have to decide if this is something you want or not. If it's something you want, then go for it. If it's not something you want, then it's okay to give up. But at the end of the day, you need to stand behind whatever you choose 100%.
In terms of whether or not I think you still have a chance, I know better than to write anyone off. I've seen too many people salvage a relationship from what I thought were impossible situations to ever write anyone off.
The most important factor is whether or not you're willing to pull through the challenges that come up along the way or not. Whatever your choice is, it is 100% okay, but you have to own it.
I did everything right. For 7 years we dint even fight for once. We dint argued we dint even yelled at each other. He gave up on me he walked away. After 4 months hes already dating. It hurts but i did everything right even too much for him. He just broke me
Hi Tanilee, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. The fact that the relationship didn't work and lead to break up, something really went wrong along the way. We understand that you feel hurt and we hope you would find the time to heal from what happened. Sending more positive energies on your end.
Me and my ex split last September, she moved out with the children and set up a new home. In the new year we tried again but I became very insecure and obsessive and pushed her away. Since then I’ve got myself together and I’m much more confident about myself. She still maintains that we are only friends now, we are going on a vacation next week that was already planned, we get on well at the moment and have lighthearted txt from time to time. I know she has been out on a date with someone else but I think that’s all it was. What do I do from here? I’m thinking the vacation is a good opportunity to show her a new and improved me? How do I approach this....
Hi Matty, the change that you have made for your self will come out naturally. You don't have to act or make any form of approach that is not who you really are. Your personality and character itself and the changes that you have made will guide you throughout the interaction.
Clay Andrews cheers Clay. I’ll let you know how it goes. I’ve already been told that “we won’t be getting back together” but I’m willing to stand the rest of time, after all nothing worth having was ever easy to get right
Clay Andrews I watched one of your videos and you say it often takes months to get back with your ex, this gives me a lot of hope. A lot of these other videos make it sound like a quick process however right now my ex seems to feel she has made the right decision, I have a lot of work to do
My ex broke up with me and blocked me.he only unblock me if he wants to call Me
Is it possible to get back with a ex even though she's left me 5 times now in 27 years? And did I mentioned But she's bipolar and PTSD. if that plays a factor in relationships that is. And within a week and a half of being separated there's a new guy. From my church. so is that possible to get back even though she says there's no hope for it?
I personally cannot give you an assurance for that. But it seems like your ex needs to work on her well-being, for now, to manage what she is going through as a person.
My ex broke up with me beacuse she wasnt able to handle relationship , she wants be back but she haa nothing to give me she still loves me but she asked me to move on she doesn't know that even she will come back or not' she said that there are chances in future but she isnt compatible with me and we also ended up in good terms
my ex broke up with me 5month ago i did the beging and pleading which was a bad idea/it’s been one month since i’m in no contact and in the 20th day he said hello to me at school and i ignored him/ he’s the first reading my messages in group chats and always glare a look at me at school i can’t stop thinking about him i changed i’m always working i don’t even have free time anymore i changed myself a lot for me i’m a completely different person mentally and physically but i don’t know what to do to have his attention and to come back to me he’s really stubborn he’s a hard guy help me please what do i have to do p.s sorry for my bad english
Do you want him or not?
Swanand Thakur yes of course i want him
My problem with my ex she is hanging out with my band ever time we play so i just no play for the band and she is still with them.
Hi Curtis, I understand how tough it must be to see your ex with your band. But always remember to separate your personal romantic life against your professional life. It will test our emotional resilience as well. All the best.
Something I don’t expect 😂
Such a great surprise. :-)
THEY DO COME BACK! Well about a month ago my ex girlfriend packed up our house and moved out while I was at work. Because I’ve visited a female friend that’s correct only her friend. I went into no contact a few Texas here in there back-and-forth. Yesterday evening I got the farewell I’ll always love you and thank you for let me love you Text. I waited an hour and a half to respond with “you’re welcome take care” blocked her. Fast forward till this evening. She is now texting my daughter HI how are you? If you need anything I’m here. 🤨🤔! Wonder why?
Hi Kwane, We are not quite sure of the true intent of your ex when it comes to texting our daughter. But we have to understand that she and your daughter has a different relationship than yours and that is something that she might be taking care of as well despite what happened to both of you. All the best.
My ex literally blocked me from everything, I haven’t heard from his since.
Maybe you can still send your ex a letter. Though it may not give you an immediate response, it's your last option if you know your ex's address.
Me and my boyfriend were together for 3 months (14 October -January something) then he left me for no reason and dated two girls at the same time and we broke up for a month
And then in (15 February the day after valentines day) he came to me and was like "for the past month you thought I was happy even though I wasn’t and I fucked up when I broke up with you for no reason and when I Noticed you got over me fast I dated other girls to get over you but obviously it didn’t work" he even showed me the wounds and cuts and all the injuries he did to his self because he regrets leaving me and in 17 February we got back together and it was my bday in 20 February and he got me gifts and all that and now it’s February 23 so.. so far since we came back together we’ve been dating for six days and hopefully longer
Should I contact her or wait for her to come and contact me on herself?
If you are emotionally ready and is in full acceptance of whatever outcome, you can try initiating contact with her. :-)