Advice From A NARCISSIST! H G Tudor's Idealised & Ignored - Book Review
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
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Shauna x A review of H G Tudor's Book "Idealised & Ignored" that I have recently read!
Plus a chat (and storytime) about a few narcissists I have encountered…
H G Tudor UA-cam Channel:
/ @hgtudor-theultra
H G Tudor Website:
narcsite.com/
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While I'm sure we are all looking forward to the day when we never have to see or hear from MM ever again, we should take a moment to appreciate that watching her narcissism on the world stage has brought the personality disorder to the forefront. Hopefully, by learning from her bad behavior, many people will be spared from having a close relationship with a narcissist. We now know the warning signs.
True!
My thoughts exactly
She provides an endless source of material for several YT channels..lmao
Mental health awareness 😊
P.S. this is painful to witness, there's no hope he'll understand what's being done to him
Thank you for your keen insight. Very true & hopeful that Good may be Choice from negative exposure to MM & HG & others.
He's enabled many viewers to cope with the horrifying story unfolding before us with regards to Harry and Harry's Wife by providing humorous and enlightened commentary. Thank you for featuring his book.
How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they don’t use lightbulbs, they use gaslighting!
😂🤗🤣
I just recently watched that movie. Brilliant to now know where the reference comes from, for the word.
👏 👏
😂😂😂
😂
I am so glad that you picked HG Tudor's book. He is a fascinating character, highly intelligent, who produces a very interesting podcast on UA-cam. The person who needs to read him the most is Harry.
Yes I am pleased to hear your comments on HG, albeit a bit late in the day! Absolutely agree with you even to the “James Bond” description and sardonic smile. But would it matter if it wasn’t so? His whole demeanour speaks for itself.
He has a podcast? I didn't know that. Thanks.
A marriage with a narcissist in which produces children IS a horror movie.
Indeed. They get bored so easily. And,heaven forbid, you become popular with the in laws!! No,no,no.. he must always be the shining star of the family. Bad luck for the kids that come along...can't be competition for daddy.
Great description. I had four with a narcissist. Two of my childten have strong narcissistic traits themselves. Two are impathic people like me.
@@annemccarron2281 That is interesting. According to HG’s classification my teenage son is leaning normal. There are several very strong (overwhelming) narcissistic traits he has…directed only to close family members and friends…argumentative, defiance, and pride…inflated sense of self…but then very strong empathetic traits honesty, truth-seeking and kindness. I feel like he’s a 50/50 split of my ex-husband and I. It’s hard sometimes…I always wondered about that rampant narcissism of the children of an Empath, now that I’m experiencing more of it from him. It ain’t easy, is it?
I was married to a Covert vulnerable narcissist for 34 years! I'm a well read educated woman and had no idea that such a thing existed! I knew about Grandiose Narcissists but not the other kind! Four years divorced and I am still healing.
Bravo! It is all up from here 💗
@@thevintageread Thank you for your kind words 💖
Oh, damn, poor you. They are the hardest to spot and IMHO the most manipulative and hardest to get away from. I hope your healing is going really well. I suspect it will take quite some time. I had a close call with one... but thank all the Baby Jesus's, after a few months, whilst I was already learning about their particular behaviours... I got the hell out of there!
You will heal and discover your old self. God is certainly good!❤️
17 years with one of the sneaky kind, as well. I had no clue these creatures existed until I realized I could maybe figure out how to deal with "The Love of My Life" who I was pretty sure I'd be dying because of soon, from the craziness he had brought into my formerly wonderful life, by looking up some symptoms on You Tube. Or Google. And found it was this Narcissism. And soon found HG.. He's made the Markle Debacle a learning experience for me, and SO AMUSING.
How does this channel not have more subscribers?!
I love how real you are 🤗
You strike a lovely balance between entertaining and informing.
Bravissimo 👏🏻
Thank you so much!!
AMEN! Though quality of this community just might outweigh the quantity of subscribers on other channels! Not everyone appreciates calm-charming real-ness !
Oh absolutely, Shauna is genuine, sincere, highly intelligent, educated, witty, a great investigator and most of all warm and friendly and very entertaining. I think it’s the name of the channel, it doesn’t give viewers a heads-up regarding what she’s all about. I only found Shauna’s channel by accident and noticed that her tone and mannerisms didn’t match her UA-cam name and I decided to stop by for a few minutes and instantly became a fan. So if your reading this Shauna I think you could potentially increase your audience by rethinking your channel name to something a bit more quirky. But whatever you’re called I think you and your channel are absolutely brilliant.
Every time you include Harry and Meghan's name in the title, the number in viewership goes through the roof. It must be in the algorithms. I too wonder why you don't have more subscribers because you are just brilliant - thoughtful, entertaining, personable, honest and witty.
You might be right but I figure people will find me over time 😊
If you grew up with narcissists, HD Tudor’s revelations are completely revelatory. It’s particularly crucial to have the insights he imparts because you can be a magnet to them throughout your lifetime. By better understanding the dynamics, it becomes much easier to avoid the pitfalls.
True
Yes.
I am still very leery of HD Tudor. Narcissists are always getting something out of an interaction and of course he’s getting attention out of this. So, while he may be presenting fairly insightful formation, do not fall for him people. Narcissists are snakes in the grass. Both of my parents were diagnosed as such. (Mother is meaner. It took years for me to figure out through professional help what the problem was). He’s getting a lot of life from his podcast, and all the attention that comes to him. Personally, I would not engage with him very much at all. And I would certainly not be one of the people who fawn over him. He’s telling you who he is. So yes he’s honest but he’s still going to do what he’s going to do.
@@DreamsSketcherH G is honest about his diagnosis, in fact it is a badge of honor for him. I am sure he as dishonest as all narcissists are in his personal & business life. I am like you, I will never put the man on a pedistal as so many of his followers do. There is nothing honorable about narcissistic behavior. H G is diagnosed with a personality disorder rather than mental illness because he could do something about his ruthless, dishonest behavior, but he chooses not to. There is little to admire about a man who deliberately hurts others for personal gain. Thanks for you efforts to set people straight.
I was nabbed very adroitly. I was young, naive and new to dating. Let's just say I never dated again as he controlled me immediately. What a confusing 40 yrs it was. Now I know I'm not the crazy one. It's relieving.
That interview with Gold was excellent. Gold kept trying to find a heart in Tudor and Tudor would continue to explain why Gold, an empath, would feel as he does and how that was totally different from himself. It was chilling, but they were unfailingly cordial.
Yes it was enthralling.
@Andrew Gold
Yes, they’re great together in an interview
I like hearing your thoughts on him. In my mind, he’s a mix of Benedict Cumberbatch and Laurence Fox
Edit: I definitely would not want to be on his radar. When I first started listening to him, I was very wary. But everything he says makes so much sense. I believe that on UA-cam he is mostly safe, like a tiger in a cage. His series on meeting Harry’s wife makes me glad that I don’t run in his circles.
Same!
h. g. says the same things over and over .. I watch now and then to see anything new, but narks are narks are narks.
Meagain has done the world a favour by being on the world stage so needy for admiration.
She is so blatently fake, most of us get the vibes pretty fast, but the nark zeros in on the gullible who are vulnerable.
She lucked out in harry?.
Or does it mean she is unmasked in front of the whole world?
Good examples where you were perceptive enough to learn from a interaction and be wary in the future.
I do not think harry has learned anything
You are intelligent and self assured
harry is dim and doesn't realize his limits.
I tuned out of h.g tuder after his tale of his seeing meagain
in a London watering hole. I KEPT thinking of the literary characters in "The Magpie Murders,".
If you haven't watched it take a look.
It was a riveting t.v. series.
I love his videos
I think that is very generous for him to publicly share how a narcissist works, while he is one. He is not doing it for us, but for his fuel, but it's a fair deal, imo.
@@BeeBee10 - Yes, that’s how I look at it too. He tells us that often. Win win.
Without a doubt, H.G. Tudor is an absolute gem and we're so glad he created his channel. We've learned a lot about narcissists and how to protect ourselves against the very bad ones. Tudor has developed a style that is uniquely his own. I enjoy listening to him. He seldom preaches or lectures but manages to get his information across to the listener. We're all wiser because of H.G.
He is both, and very good at what he does, my mother and sister were both narcissist"s and he has helped me understand there behavior and the mistakes i made as a empathetic person letting them have control over me, my sisters narcissistic behavior stood out she was loud, brash, hateful, no empathy, no guilt, no remorse and she was a social worker with the power to take people's children away, but she enjoyed her job, she felt no guilt i haven't spoken to my sister for 30yrs, my mother on the other hand kept it behind closed and abused, hurt and controlled the family including my dad with abuse physical and mental, belittling, and she would mess with your mind so you didn't know where you was, except in a depression, no friends, no family, nobody to turn to, my mother cut everyone off
I agree he is very good at what he does. The damage narcissists can do is astounding. I’m so sorry you had to endure that. 💗
I'm so sorry, Lisa Smith.
I hear you Lisa. Both
My parents were diagnosed narcissists. Dad was garden variety selfish/ no care / empathy. Holding court. My mother was cunning, malignant and far higher on the scale. Lots of damage done. I felt i was jumping out of my head as a child and adult caring and trying with them. To say the least. The stories I could tell. They never got better. Almost wrecked me. Hugs.
I can empathise. I’m also an empath. My late mother was a narcissist, and my sister is one. I didn’t find out about narcissism until after my mother had died, but when I did, I immediately realised why my childhood had been as it was, with her persistent gaslighting, psychological abuse, and permanent victim mode. I realised later on that my sister’s abusive behaviour was due to her narcissism, and I severed contact with her immediately after our mother’s estate was settled. I don’t understand the people who fawn over HG Tudor, but I have certainly learned a great deal about narcissists from him, along with reading books by relevant people.
My dad was and I were empaths and mother was a very cunning narcissist. She fooled a lot of people and was well served by her flying monkeys. She was a widow for over 30 years and it was my job to care for her. When she was in her nineties, I couldn’t cope with her any more and had a breakdown. My generation knew nothing about narcissism. As an empath, I felt crippling guilt for walking away and have had counselling which has helped. My doctor, who knew her, was very supportive. My mother made sure that I could never make friends locally so life can be lonely. My husband and I never had children so the strain ends here. Her mother and sister had it too. Thank goodness there is more knowledge of this disorder these days. HG Tudor was part of my recovery and I am grateful to him for that.
For me, he is *the* authority on narcissism and psychopathy. I have no doubt that his work will eventually change the way psychologists and psychiatrists describe and diagnose narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders.
Lady Colin Campbell’s book, “ Daughter of Narcissus “ is also a great read on that subject.❤️
I enjoy listening to HG Tudor. He’s very knowledgeable and informative…but I don’t think he can actually spot a narcissist all the time. Maybe because he is one? For instance, he often says that Harry is an empath. I disagree. That was the facade that the Palace wanted us to see. However, Ive never seen him actually do anything out of the goodness of his heart. He’s arrogant and entitled. HG lacks the ability to see thru the facade. After listening to Shauna review various books, I think Dianna was also a narcissist. She definitely had a side of her behavior that we never saw at the time. She was cunning and manipulative
& downright evil sometimes. What empath would throw themselves down the stairs while pregnant..just got attention? I see KC3 as an empath or perhaps a normal like his mother, QE2. Definitely not a narcissist. He’s often characterized as sensitive from the time he was little. He also only ever lived Camilla. Not the sexual antics of a narcissis. King Charles seems to actually care for the poor in the UK and focuses on deeds instead of talk, unlike Harry. So while I think HG is very learned of narcissism, he can’t lacks the gifts of perception.
@@MommawGrace--You really need to read Tom bower’s book ‘The Rebel Prince’ about Charles. You’ll see where Harry gets a lot of his behaviors from.
@@judywright4241 I agree.
HG never said that Harry is an empath. According to him Harry's a normal with strong narcissistic traits. He also has some empathic traits like every normal.
Where I agree with you is that I don't see narcissism in Charles and Camilla at all. I'd love to know how HG came to that conclusion. 🌷
Burst out laughing at your “am I the narcissist???” moment!! HG has made me have many of theses moments- But I have to remember that most narcissist don’t stop to think about whether or not they’re a narcissist ha ha
You are a brilliant book reviewer!
If you feel scared of HG, then he has accomplished what he intended perfectly : to help people recognise when they are facing a very dark personality trait and understand that the best way to respond is to RUN!
Yes I get that feeling with him 😂
I wish my brother would read this book, but he's too far gone with the devaluing and discarding from his ex wife. She has controlled and continues to control his life. He is a shell, unrecognizable of his former self. He can't seem to shake her, even after divorce. Narcs have incredible power. Most people will say he should 'man' up and stop the control, but if you have ever been in the presence of a true psychopath/narc you will see pure evil manipulation on display. It's frightening. Prince Harry...you are screw'd mate. So sorry.
Hard to watch someone you love suffer…💗
I have this with my ex. He refuses to let me live in peace. We have a child together and through constant suing and lies he's finally got my little one. He's wealthy and wears a white coat so everyone believes him; they want to believe him. My son is neglected and I think he likes to do it because he knows it breaks me to see my son suffering. He always said what a good mom i was at the beginning so he knows how to hurt me the most. Through my children. My son is just his accessory and a plaything for him. It's so sick and disgusting. I cant wait for the day my son is old enough to say where he would rather live; maybe a year or two. But that is excruciatingly long and life altering for a child. I am so depressed and cry everyday because of this man torturing me through our precious child. But such is life.. Does your brother have a child with his ex? Is that why he cant let go? Im so sorry to hear this.. women can manipulate men in the most horrible ways and they don't have anyone to talk to most of the time.. they just suffer in silence.
@redfo3009 I wish you all the best. All good things are yet to come. Just hold on.
I have no problem calling these people evil either. I call a spade a spade.
@@redfo3009So few people understand. For the most part, you have to experience it to understand it. Support groups are the best way to heal. Even most clinicians don't have a clue!
I follow HGT as a close friend of mine is a survivor from a narcissist. I am learning about how they operate and found your video interesting. You can take comfort in that you are not a narcissist as you care too much and laugh at yourself as you share your stories. 👍❤️👍
Someone mentioned below that a lot of women seem to drool over HG. I have seen this more times than I can count. They are obviously forgetting that he has said time and again that he "hates" everybody. I am sure he is very amused when they make flirty comments or send ❤'s. They fail to realize that if they knew him in person he would chew them up and spit them out.
I Googled him after I found his videos just to see what comes up. With narcissism of that high level there’s obviously a lot of manipulation, lies, deception, or whatever. But I found on a Reddit or Quora thread (which I don’t usually read) a post from somebody who claimed she was his ex girlfriend. The woman stated he isn’t actually British, his real name isn’t “HG Tudor”, he’s a 60-something year old man who lives with his mother and spends all the proceeds from book sales to fund his drug habit. I’m not sure how much of this, if any, is true, but I wouldn’t be shocked if it was spot on. It’s not like he makes guest appearances on TV shows hosted by celebrities or notable personalities. I think what he does is fascinating, but there’s also a lot we don’t know. For now I’ll just continue to enjoy his free content.
This amuses me also.Victims in waiting.
Sorry. He gives me the creeps. Like crushing on Dracula!
I thought
He was a modern day vampire x@user-yi5eh1ki4b
They provide him fuel. Of course he's going to present himself as charming and interested in what you have to say. He does warn everyone.
Haven't read this one, but HG Tudor is the #1 on narcissism. I owe him my life and commend his work to anyone who will listen.
I married a narcissist before it was a thing. I spent 20 years suffering on and off bouts of depression and of course didn’t understand why. Left with nothing at the first real opportunity to get away once my child reached adulthood. The one thing I know about narcissists is they like to look good. And that’s their soul purpose - it’s all about looking good, smelling good and keeping up the facade to attract admiration and all for show. They are life’s meringues, bugger all content but looks promising on the outside.
I've had numerous consults with HG (apx 10+... Lost count) following my divorce from my ex narcissist 9 months ago. Yes he can come across as intimidating at times. But overall he's helped me grow in confidence. Talking with him helped me recognize that I also have two parental narcissists. It's all been very helpful and revealing for me.
He does interviews with smaller creators a lot so I don't believe you're too "insignificant". He enjoys intelligent interviews that go beyond the 101 basics he covers as standard material. He loves to answer interesting thoughtful inquiries.
Yes, H.G. does have a chocolaty, velvety voice
"...sitting in dirty pajamas with scrambled egg and tea spilt all over them" 🤣🤣🤣 had me in a fit of giggles! Thank you! HG's information is helpful especially in this age of narcissism. I disagree with him about H being an innocent. Long before MM came on the scene I felt the image built for H as a jolly, good guy albeit with some emotional turbulence (all due to his mother's death) was a sham. Imo, H likes to act the big man, is entitled, a bully, jealous, petty and vindictive. Imo, he's the type who blames others for "making him hurt them".
Yes I made a vid about that! “Did Meghan really change Harry?”
@@thevintageread Thanks! I'll look that up. Cheers.
H G Tudor is giving an education and enlightenment to Narcissism, the scourge of Modern Societies. It's a Public Service he is delivering with humour which makes the painful subject more palatable and memorable to remember.
And he’s brilliant at it….
I too, watched Andrew Golds' video with H G and I was surprised that you were expecting H G to "devalue" Andrew at some point. Instructing people on Narsissism is his "Legacy", ensuring that his brilliance lives on, so to speak. Andrew demonstrated very early on in that interview that he wasn't going to be adversarial and threaten H G's control, so Tudor would have deemed it an unnecessary waste of energy to belittle him. Until the very end when, as you so astutely pointed out, he said; "Well, that's our time up...", effectively saying; "You're not important enough Andrew, for me to go one second past the agreed time. I've far more important things to do."
He is the ULTRA, for good reason! 🤣🤣🤣
😂
No secret he calls himself exactly that. He exposes himself and others. He is exceptionally honest
My father is a narcissist, and last year at my 52 years old birthday I decided to take care of my self. He stopped talking with me because I said to him that he was rude with my mom. Now I’m feel much better not talking with him anymore.
HG Tudor has helped me understand several people in my life, past and present.
We can admire HG Tudor from the safety of our loungerooms, l wouldn't want to meet him. I don't cope well with sarcasm but he is delicious to listen to.
Yes I feel the same at a distance or via a book is fine!
😂 I agree!
I love your honesty. I too would be afraid to sit down and have a conversation with H. G. Tudor. I have no doubt that anyone he 'manipulated via a relationship' would end up totally devastated.
HD Tudor is absolutely riveting! He opened my eyes to help me recognize all the narcissistic people in my immediate family. The explanations, instruction and tools his video’s provide are invaluable in helping you recognize a narcissist!
I love his voice. I listen to him at night and that velvety voice lulls me off to sleep.
"Making yourself a stranger to your own reason". Wow. That's impactful and such a good explanation in a few words.
I had listened to HG for a few years before I started listening to him Chay about the disgusting duo. His voice is absolutely mesmerizing. I had a boring office job and would spend most of my hours enthralled, listening to HG.
He's freely admitted to being a narcissistic psychopath and in his videos Ask HG and others in his Knowledge Vault he goes into more detail. Fascinating.
Yes that is my intro only I explore a lot more. Don’t worry it isn’t negative just interesting 😊
Yes, he has shown as like him as how others think in the narcissistic world. Learn lot how to see it in detail. He outlines them by display the characters like (Amber) Hearld or Markle.
@@thevintageread gosh really looking forward to your take on HG..I could listen to him recite the dictionary
@@trayccox8223 Haha! Yes, fascinating voice really. I find it hard to believe that nobody recognises him in real life.
@@thevintageread I saw a post on HG on the Quora website by a person claiming to be his ex-gf, describing him…
His letter described how M use the same tactic in pursuing Harry. Learned everything about the potential victim, charmed them then caged them! It makes my hairs stand! Scary about the possibility of someone observing you quietly and preparing their moves like wild animal praying on their victim! I am so glad to find your channel, Shauna. My most favourite channel -- you introduce me to many interesting books that I never really thought to read. Thank you ❤️❤️
HG Tudor's books helped me avoid future narcissists. Such a good thing for me
Always so delightful listening to you, no matter what the topic. You are a “done-to-earth” gal & humble in your opinions…a breath of fresh air. I wish you well with your channel 👌
Thank you so much!
Beautiful said, I absolutely agree.
LOLs. I don’t think your a narcissist. You have self esteem and strong boundaries. I also appreciate your guiding your viewers to not expose all their personal details on a UA-cam comment. A very smart, well spoken woman… and a singer! Bravo, good vid.
I appreciate that! Thanks 💗😊
Well said.
I don't believe you are a narcissist at all. Enjoy your videos.
I like what HG is doing and it seems MM has become the best example. I find it quite stunning the number of UA-camrs who have sprung to life simply because of Harry and his wife. With all the bad press she gets, Harry’s wife just seems to plow ahead despite being the example of what not to do. One of my favorite HG videos are the series that describe meeting Harry’s wife. Thank you for this and all your videos.
I wish there was an HG Tudor around when I first met my ex-husband, way back in the early 80s... I had no idea that there was such a thing as a narcissist. Now, I take note of everything HG says... and realise that I was drawn in 'hook, line and sinker'. I thankfully survived, although it took time, I just woke up one day, took a look at myself in the mirror and didn't like the person I had become. I wanted to be the person I was 20 years earlier. HG is well worth reading/watching.
This was an excellent video. I am familiar with HG Tudor's channel, but not his book. It's a shame so many people got all wound up with their comments before they saw it.
I admire what HG is doing for people and get why women especially are drawn in by him. Personally.I think of him as some sort of tiger or panther, beautiful and fascinating and valuable but I feel much better knowing we are separated by protective glass.
Completely agree!
Yes I also feel at ease to chat and listen to him because of being behind the protective glass. I have no wish to get to know him in real life.
When I first discovered HGT he really scared me. But after a steady diet of his videos and also consulting with him, I have lost that fear. I understand what he is, but as a resource he is incredibly valuable.
He really is.
While elements of his lifestyle may be fantastical, he is on the money in describing the behaviours of those with narcissist personality disorders. Years ago I was in the clutches of a narcissist and did not have a clue what I was dealing with. I kept a journal which I recently re-read. It described all the torment and destruction to my own life that his love-bombing, gaslighting and other behaviours produced. I lost my partner, my best friend and had fractious relationships with colleagues which threatened my livelihood. HG could have written the script for all that I went through. I wish that channels such as his existed at the time. Would have given me the answers I sought. Although I questioned many things at the time, I was made to believe it was all my fault.
That makes me furious! I’m so so sorry 💔
I think calling them control freaks and wife beaters, rapists and selfish is more descriptive. I appreciate your stories. Women are different. Their your best friend almost immediately. Share your interests then backstab you and you feel like you've done something wrong. Like your experience you eventually get away and question Wait A minute, Why was it wrong? It's because the other person didn't get what THEY wanted even if was just their own way. Sad thing is, with our young people having exposure to social media which practically breeds these people, they're ill equipped to recognize and resist. What the hell is an influencer other than a narcissist? as an older woman we recognize this but my Adult children think it's normal. It is not. And I sincerely don't know how their entire generation will breed GOOD people for politics if everyone is a celebrity (even if only in their own minds).
That is so very scary!!! I am glad I have dedicated my life to being a hermit!! Staying in my hovel and being happy with my little dog and our peace and quiet!
God bless you. Have an awesome and blessed day.
Don't forget it really takes a lot for one of his ilk not to show his face. After all, it would bring him fame, and fuel. To let that go is very difficult. And remember he only does what he does only to the greater fame of himself. Everlasting, because there will always be narcissists and psychopats.
HG Tudor is a genius, when I read or listen to it there is only logic, it never justifies the mistreatment that another person can give you.
HG has a video called All Alone, about a person who has escaped a narcissist . The way he narrates it makes it sound like an old time radio mystery.
Re: Your pondering whether you're a narcissist or not -- according to the man himself HG, a person can have both empathic and narcissistic traits without being a narcissist per se. He has an Empath Detector consultation and a Trait Detector consultation by which one can learn about oneself. They are very fun and enlightening, and you may decide for yourself how much stock you want to place in the results.
I’m so excited you posted this Shauna! I just love HG! I thought he was an ex of mine for the first year I listened to him, then realised that for me to think that, my ex must be a narc! That made things fit, but he wasn’t a nasty dangerous narc, just a very intelligent and impossible lady's man. I’ve gone no contact.
Love your review and synopsis. He is a tiger in a cage, but he’s in the cage, and is very honest about his brilliant (he’s not modest!) observations and knowledge, and is rather obsessed about leaving a legacy of knowledge on narcissism, in his vault, as well as on his UA-cam channel. For this he gets paid, helps people immensely, - and yes, gets his fuel. He’s also honest about this too. I just love that when he met MM he was repulsed by her, but she was interested. Lol. Love his interview with Andrew.
“HG” could easily be lying about everything. I was intrigued at first and then I thought about the narcissist in my life. He’s a master at lying so “HG” probably is too. He calls himself a narcissistic psychopath. Has he killed people or animals? Many women seem to drool over him. The man gets off on destroying people. Allegedly. ;-) I have found some of his insights really helpful and sometimes I enjoy listening to him but I don’t forget his need for “fuel” or the fact he could be a 25 year old man boy living in his mothers basement.
Yes thats why I made the dirty PJ comment and said not showing his face made me a little cautious. His book however, is well written and interesting.
I've heard him say there are legal ways of killing someone, and the inference was he may have employed such techniques. Chilling!
Possibly but unlikely. It appears that he has been advising the Royal Family on how to deal with Meghan Markle, which is why they are doing it so well. This became apparent during the Windsor walkabout and the way Catherine handled Meghan. It was the spot on way to handle a narcissist.
I too wonder if HG took on the persona of narc/sociopath. TBH, I think would be a brilliant way to discuss/explain the world of narc, etc which very few psychologists, etc understand, know about or how to treat patients. He absolutely fully understands that world & it could very well be from years of study, research & working with such people as his knowledge extends a great deal further than narc/sociopath. Many are not even aware of what they are much less the intricacies of empathy, normals, etc, jmho
YES personally i couldn't tolerate listening to him for any length of time but there is a lot of truth about Megsy in some of his shorts and if it has ppl interested in learning about PD it's a good thing. PPL can do their own research in DSM5
Love you and your channel. Royal Grift gave you a very nice mention on her show this week. It was very nice and I felt proud for you. 😊❤❤❤
Straight up, I be gone and never go back there. I have felt that before, I took my keys out, and put the biggest key between my fingers, because I was going to use it.
I think we know much more now about narcissistic people and narcissistic abuse. I wish I had known more about narcissists and how destructive they can be and how unfeeling they are back when I was a young girl, it would have saved me a lot of heartbreak! Now I know more about them I can recognize them by their behavior a lot better! Great review! 👍🏻
The HG Tudor interviews are great. I listen to most of them. Learn something new about him and his perspective all the time.
Thank you! I didn't realize before my divorce,I had been married to a narcissist for 38 years. It was difficult emotionally, to say the least. I'm been fortunate that he moved on to a new younger woman. My co-dependency nature to still a challenge to over-come, but I have three wonderful children and grandchildren that are my blessings.
I was with a narcissist for years and because we were in the same industry I would get dragged back in time after time until he made it look like I was a bunny burner. The only way I could get my life back was to move. Listening to H.G gave me the strength to take my life back. I owe him a LOT.
Sounds like it! I’m glad you got away 💗
Well done for getting away. No mean feat!
Thank you for the book review, after being married to a narcissist for 20 years, these characteristics ring true. Because of my children, I had to stay until they were adults, due to threats that he would have me declared unfit as a mother by his lawyer friends, that I'd never see them again, etc. Life is so good now that I'm free! As a teacher it's been tricky financially, but wonderful to finally be myself and possess self respect again! People who knew me then, and see me now remark on how different I am. Also, have you ever read the Billabong Books from the early 1900s? When living in Singapore, I had many Australian friends and loved these books borrowed from them!
so happy you are enjoying life now - good for you
We all have some degree of narcissism in us, and how 'narcissistic' our behaviour is in a particular situation depends on the context. NPD is when the narcissistic traits are prevalent in any situation, persist over time, manifest in a number of ways, and have a noticeable effect on the person's life (like 'losing' most of your family).
As children yes, we all start out as egocentric, the world revolves around me, that is why we can identify with the traits, but as we grow and mature we develop empathy, personal responsibilty and emotional intelligence - which narcissists never do - they only continue to be a slave to their fragile egos first and last.
I also love H G Tudor’s voice! ❤
Shauna, I am so sorry you had that experience at your friends party! That is such a scary story and I’m sure it terrified you. The fact that you remember it so clearly shows the impact that exchange had on you! I’m glad you shared, it is good to learn what to look out for and how to take care of yourself!
It was!
I agree. The switch from admiration to contempt sounds like he enjoyed the conversation but envied the attention Shauna & company drew to themselves that he was not a part of.
Had to bring her down a peg! Notice he chose to intimidate her - the woman - but not her husband? 🤔🧐! ...
HGs voice is mesmerizing
H G Tudor is entertaining. When thinking about what he looks like, I imagine him delivering a voiceover while a camera takes a long slow take through the corridors of a house until it arrives at a door with a 'do not disturb' sign on it which opens to reveal a 16 year old schoolboy with a precociously deep voice sitting at his supervillain-styled desk in his study.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂 his voice reminds me of a louche character from a 1960s TV programme, a character called Jason King.
😂😂😂
I lived with one and worked with one, both are now gone from my life thank goodness. HG has also helped me recognise the behaviour in others too.
He is an interesting man. I was never closely involved with a narcissist, but I listened to his podcasts for a while with utter fascination.
Very interesting video Shauna!!
HG Tudor opened my eyes on my narcissist mother...I can't thank him enough!! The best thing about HG is that he understands himself and therefore you don't need to feel sorry for him.
"Making you a stranger to your own reason" is a perfect description of gaslighting.
The man at the dinner party didn't like your confidence, charm and the attention you were getting. He tried to derail you. People like that are frightening.
I’ve been “watching” HG Tudor’s videos for a year or so now and I, too, find him very interesting. His knowledge in the matter of narcissism is tremendous. Did you watch the series called “When HG met Harry’s Wife?”
I really enjoy your channel and was looking forward to you review of HG Tudor! I’ll admit to initially listening to his channel to hear his take on Harry’s Wife but I found other things he does very interesting! The Alone reading can be found on his The Treasure Trove channel where he also reads poems and works of literature. He also has put up musical compositions that are beautiful on his HG Tudor! Whoever he is may be a mystery but I do believe he is what he states and he is presenting valuable information in an entertaining melodic format .
Yes! Multi talented it seems!
This is my favourite "episode" so far, thanks Shauna for your interesting stories. I enjoy listening to HG Tudor's voice too LOL. I'm going to get this book - thanks for the recommendation!
It is well written.
I love your channel and listen regularly. I listen to HG also .
He explains the reason he goes under a pseudonym is , because, as he’s explains he wouldn’t be able to do what he does , both with his channel and his daytime job if his identity was known. Apart from the unfortunate people that are in his life, he does good for people who are in dire situations and listen to his advice on his podcasts or seek his help personally. He talks to Andrew Gold quite regularly which I try not to miss.
Thank you for your channel and views which are so interesting , fun and entertaining.👏
He helps others and himself. Well, to say that by giving him attention and praise, he is deriving "fuel" for his narcissistic personality 😀 He certainly is very intelligent and does provide a valuable service! 😀 Looking forward to this episode!
He does (and I’m sure he’ll get fuel from the video 😂)
He absolutely wouldn’t help anyone if he didn’t get something out of it.
@@CCreedUT And he admits it.
He mentioned meeting Markle before Harry.
A narcissist would never wonder if they might be a narcissist. They would also never feel shame or embarrassment. I’m a newcomer to your channel and have recommended it along with HG to friends who have been or are currently involved with narcissists.
They have shame the problem is that they project it outward. Long story short they are miserable and they want others to be miserable.
Loved this. Thanks. I was once married to a narcissist! Had no idea at the time. I have since become vivacious and outgoing.
Wonderful!
I had a boyfriend for six years, who I am now sure was a narcissist. At the end of the “relationship” - I left him, he couldn't believe I would do so as he had devalued and gaslighted me so much - I wouldn’t have recognised myself. I married a lovely, empathic man whose late mother was a malignant narcissist. I can now spot a narcissist at fifty paces.
I’m learning I was in a marriage w a narcissist. At one point, I went to a Psychologist- first meeting, he said “you need to leave the marriage asap”- I was so naive I left his office in tears. Still hooked and under control of the husband. Never went back to that Dr. I did get out, but it must have been bad for him to tell me to leave, right away.
H G Tudor is well known; a very intelligent man, an actor who has also hosted his own tv show. He can be very entertaining but also suffers from depression. And yes, he explains the narc very well.
You have to much awareness to be a narc. 😊 I enjoy your programs. 😊
@johoff you know who he is? I have drawn a blank trying to work it out. Definite (and probably deliberately set) red herrings on line.
@@pepifogarty5016 yes. He used to host QI
@@johoff457 So you are talking about Stephen Fry?
Oh my gosh!! I’d never listened to HG Tudor before this…he seriously throws off Vincent Price vibes. I’m hooked!!!
😂
Through HG I have realized my Mother, both my sisters, and my ex were Narcissists. 2 of whom committed suicide. I was their victim and suffered emotionally and physically. Still watching his videos I learn new info. It has helped me tremendously. He’s saves lives.
Been there, done that. I literally blundered into his web as a single, divorced mom with a problem car, and he owned a repair shop. Over the months that he had to do numerous jobs on my car, we sat and chatted while his staff did the work, he drove me home when he had to keep the car for several days, and a relationship developed. My mother, who had concerns about him, died shortly before our wedding, and since my stepfather always seem to think everything was my fault, was basically not a good source of advice and security. I was fair game. Luckily for me we could never quite afford for me to quit my job in a bookstore, which gave me good friends to talk to and plenty of books to do research in. It took six years, but I finally escaped and on my terms. I had a bad feeling about Meghan with Harry from the beginning, not because I'm so clever, but because having been through it, it has become easier to recognize. Luckily this man and I had no children together so there was no reason to ever have to see him again. I would like to think that Harry will get out of this sadder but wiser, but unfortunately, he's always going to be bound to her at least until the children become adults. I don't think he's strong enough to not continually fall for her garbage over and over again.
I’m glad you got away 💗
@The Vintage Read Show Thanks, Shauna. I love watching your channel. I always feel like I'm having a chat with a girlfriend, and I don't mind saying that I'm very jealous of your setting. There are always several books on your shelves that I would love to own.
They do pick you up and put you down like this like you say; make you doubt yourself, leave you feeling the need to justify yourself and questioning your own sanity. It warms my heart to see you thinking about this topic, someone that has only briefly come into contact with these types, because as someone that has, knowing how dreadful it is, I like knowing there are people out there that haven't ever had this misfortune.
Tudor is brilliant. I now understand Markle so well.
My thoughts on H.G. Tudor: 1) his voice is very distinct, and I wonder if it is his voice or a put-on or engineered; after all, he doesn't show his face, why expose such a distinct voice; 2) although he may live and work in "high" society as he implies, without identifying himself so this can be verified, he could just as easily be a bin man with a wonderful talent for storytelling; and 3) if he is, in fact what he claims to be, it would be fascinating to hear what people who know him believe him to be - is he liked? does he "get away with it"? or is he actually a lonely individual because he isn't charismatic as people may believe based on his voice and stories? Truth is often less exciting than fiction.
Thanks, as always, for the video. We all probably have "a bathroom" story in our lives.
Yes I’m sure! Loved your interesting comment.
@Blingfire What do you mean by letting his disorders shine? Was his speech more vitriolic or what?
@Blingfire and you feel he has recently better concealed it? I ask because I only found him recently. Some seem to swoon over his voice. While I think he can have an appeal because of the brittish accent, I dont necessarily swoon. But I also havent felt horrified. I wonder if I would have felt like so if I had checked earlier videos. I bet those are long gone or have been edited now. I am curious as to what made people react like that.
@@saratavares9159 If you listen to his videos on his older channel you feel creep out. I couldn't listen to him the first time since he sounded like a suspected narcissist I know, the voice, the sarcasm. But he toned it down now. In his livestreams he even indulge us when someone wants him to say something funny. But he is good just when we have this barrier between us, I am damn sure I will not like knowing in real life.
@@zaynab29 If I try, can I still find his older channel?
As you say he is both. I am subscribed to his channel & thoroughly enjoy listening to him. Especially his episodes on meeting Meghan Markle meeting him 😂
This is a great review. I really enjoy your show.
I have learned so much from HG. My bottom line, those who I have bumped up against in my life who where difficult or have caused chaos, tick all or some of the boxes @ narc or narc tendencies. After 68 years of dealing with some people, he has helped me lot to let it go… it wasn’t me.
And YES, HG has made me safer, stronger, more aware and has taught me to bring down the emotional thinking. Excessive emotional thinking wastes precious energy and affects logic. I have been through PTSD from some nasty environmental and criminal events in the past decade. When I simply stick to the logic and facts, drop the emotional thinking and drama levels as quickly as possible, life is easier. It’s great. I did Brain Spotting for PTSD. That tx was terrific; however, the narc info from HG has really helped me understand the trigger situations, chaos causing people and events which get’t me through short PTSD spells faster. My recovery time is much shorter, way less adrenaline dump.
About the “Bond” thing. He says he is a fit, good looking guy - blonde, physically most like Daniel Craig. I like listening to the interviews he does with other UA-camrs. My theory is that he does clandestine security for private concerns, gov’t and companies, kind of a hired gun. I think he also is a musician and writer of thriller books. He said in one interview, he does things behind the scenes that make all of us safer. I think those “ things,” involve physical prowess. He says he is “ trained.” Whatever he does, he also said, he will be retiring from that profession in 5 years. He is in his 40’s, so that lines up. Hmm.
Really interesting comment! Thanks 😊
Hmm .. interesting Lois you are convinced by his description of himself as fit & working in private security the type of which calls for physical prowess?...He's also a writer & musician poet..multi talented busy man.
I suppose that's a Narc tendency as they are known for keeping busy & see themselves as "Jacks of all Trades"?
The Narc I knew was the same. Some of the Occupations he desired to be - and was - often surprised me as I thought "he'll never pull it off!" but have to say his sense of what he was capable of knew no bounds. He was a "shape shifter" & like Harry said of Meghan - What they Want is what they Get - by almost any means necessary?
No Ethics, Morals, or Scruples get in the way either!
Only question I have about the Secret Agent persona is (no disrespect intended ) he doesn't "sound" like a Fit Person?
Unless he's distorted his voice, he sounds slightly Muffled & Congested & his Cadence as he talks, to me sounds like a Stout Middle Aged man who's & Lean, Mean & Lithe days are behind him know what I mean? 🤔🧐!..
Not as Active now & is Chauffeur Driven everywhere, enjoys Fine (calorific) Dining & his "gift of the gab" & Debonair vibe is more attractive nowadays than his looks?
Don't know for sure obviously, if he's altering his voice then I could be wrong and it's providing an excellent disguise 😎👌🏾!!
So just my sense of intuition?
🤔🧐! ...
Thank you for sharing your views on HG and his book as well as some of your experiences.
Growing up with a narcassistic mother and having quite some narcissistic trades myself I really do enjoy HG Tudor´s videos, analysis and advices a lot. Not to forget his voice and wit and sardonic humour. Right know I am keeping it "light" by watching his videos, because right now I am not well enough mentally to be ably to relish his books. But I do plan to read them as soon as am able to process them without risking my recovery.
As every serious relationship I had was one with a narcissist of some kind, I do have some experience. I gave up on on intimate relationships when I realised that I am drawn to "the wrong kind of men" and tend to push away kind and loving ones. I´ve never thought about them as narcissists until I´ve started to listen to HG. Same goes for some of my own character trades.
Fascinating! Thanks for sharing your story ❤
I think HD Tudor is amazing, he is honest about what he is and has helped a multitude of people recognize narcissists and whether they are ensnared by a narcissist. He also offers tips and counsels people on how to get out. He has featured hundreds of other celebrities who are narcissists. Since I have listed to his videos I now have a name for so many family members who I know now are narcissists!
Looking forward to this one, Shauna!
Fun to make!
Absolutely. From experience. He's right.
I had four years with one. However I walked away after I became aware of a narcissistic disorder. I have enjoyed your video and found it very interesting. Thanks for sharing.
Great Video Shauna as always ❤. I remember those car phones back in the day. I too had a boss who had one and he took it out of the car and carried it everywhere with him EVERYWHERE.
I was in a bar once (in the early noughties) with a friend and a guy I fancied kept looking over at me whilst I was talking to her. He was very good looking and I bathed in his admiring glances. However, the glances became a sort of fixed stare that I couldn’t quite decipher. It seemed to me he was attracted to me but this attraction was offset with something else, bordering on sadistic. I’m sure the narcissist within me grappled with enjoying the attention whilst feeling uneasy. I shook off the uneasiness and he and I started talking after I’d returned from getting drinks for my friend and I. I flirted with him and soaked up his evident desire for me. There was a button missing from the front of the pretty dress I was wearing that night that I didn’t have time to replace, which I’d forgotten about. Out of nowhere the guy pointed to the place where the button should have been and asked had I got the dress from a thrift shop. I was mortified and felt embarrassed as well as shame. In context I had no reason to be; buttons come off of garments without it effecting one’s self-esteem. However, it’s as if he knew how to puncture my self-worth having (in my own mind) put me on a pedestal. What does this make me? A narcissist? And him? A narcissistic psychopath? I think it’s more complex than that and linked to unconscious communication. Interestingly, he gave me his phone number, which I rang the next day out of curiosity. What happened? He disconnected the call when I said who I was. My pride was hurt but, on reflection, I set myself up and walked into the trap. A teachable moment, which one has to put down to experience and learn from it.
Indeed! Thanks for sharing your encounter.
An anonymous brush with H G Tudor himself perhaps?
That is exactly the kind of comment that my narcissist sister made so frequently. I had bought an expensive, fun, warm hat from a high end department store. My sister, “ did you get that from a charity shop? “. My husband had bought me some silly meerkats on springs, and had put them in the garden of the house that we were renting at the time. My sister “ Were those things in the garden when you moved here. I’d cover them up “. My husband said, “ No, and I bought them for Georgina “. She actually looked embarrassed, but of course didn’t apologise. I severed contact with her ten years ago.
Oooh that book’s going to be so gooood! His British acid merciless humor and your Aussie classy Wit will be epic! ❤❤❤
Effectively! Your narration was so delightful and your analysis, full on reflective insights… thank you, please more!
Had this happened to me, when i was in the bathroom scene, I would have been terrified and would have not stopped to acknowledge him but run back to safety. That was frightening!
Most interesting and informative account of a narcissistic personality. Thank you. I so enjoy listening to your videos.
Yes it was the softening up first that made me drop my guard.
HG has saved lives.
Also do understand that most don’t understand what they are. Its taken HJ Tudor many many years to understand his condition and how his brain worked back when he was younger. Strange isn’t that he’s in a way now trying to educate us. ( wording) 🤷♀️
He tells in his introduction why he's doing it. To truly die, aka be forgotten, is the greatest threat to his control. Leaving his work as his legacy is his way of putting it under control again.
10 years under the cosh of a psychopathic narcissist. I always gave him the benefit of the doubt and it cost me everything.
It is my understanding that HG has been formally diagnosed.Narcissism in its behaviour is on the rise. What proportion of those could be formally diagnosed with a personality disorder I don't know. One should be thankful that HG chose to educate us and not turn his energies to the dark side so to speak. HG does have a channel where he reads poetry or short story's . Somehow I do not think HG is a sloth. The narc can be incredibly charming, make you drop your guard, another term used in the past and even perhaps now is two-faced. One kind of behaviour in public, another in private. This makes it hard for anyone on the receiving end of the abuse to be believed. HG provides education, coping skills and solutions and has a lifetime of knowledge on the subject.For those wishing to understand more, HG has a huge amount of resource both free and paid for.
Excellent video, Shauna!
I recently started listening to HG Tudor’s videos. I would say, he’s the #1 source if you wish to learn about narcissism at every level. Thanks for the book review…I’m intrigued by his writing.✍️