@Don S hey, hopefully Christina answers, might try her on instagram, she is there more but, in my experience healing the wounds results in the other cravings to go away. 🤍 & light to you
@Christina you triggered a memory for me in this video. When you spoke about your personal experience with your father at a very young age caring for him when he was ill. Those words triggered a memory from my past that I was unaware of I had to stop your video because I was crying so hard. I don’t know where I would be without your videos and guidance. I’m so glad UA-cam suggested your videos to me at the perfect time on my spiritual journey. I had just woken up back in sept2020 and I almost immediately came across your videos 😍 so so much healing has occurred in my life since then through the guidance you give in your videos. Words can’t express my gratitude for you accepting this calling.
Hey Christina - great video, and useful tips that I will definitely use! I was wondering if you took requests for topics in future videos? If so, could you perhaps do one on procrastination? And how fear ties into it? I'd love to see how it is all linked energetically. Thanks in advance :)
I have been through years of therapy and went to school for psychology. I could not break through my codependency, being the giver, until I started chakra healing. I started setting boundaries without even thinking about it. It is one of the first changes I noticed in myself.
Western psychology has been really limiting healing, change, realization and growth potential. As a monopoly it has also not recognizing and integrating much more ancient and powerful knowledge and practices. It is important to be aware and allow change in the healing sector. We are doing that at all levels.
That gives me hope! I need to really start working on my chakras. Thank you for your response here you shared to Christina. This helped me and I'm sure many others. I appreciate. Sending you love.
@@EMS01119 The narcissist is concerned only with what affects them. The empath feels others' emotions. So it is easy for an empath's power center to be drawn towards the narcissist. The power center being outside the self is one sign of codependency. Narcissists are energy vampires who feed on empaths' energy. The narcissist can convince the empath that the empath needs the narcissist to survive. The codependent person believes that another person is needed to survive. This is just a start. I see many similarities between codependency and the narcissist/empath relationship.
@Susan A Narcissist mother sets the path for a codependent. Lived in mental misery for most of my life, not knowing why? I thought my mom was the greatest thing, until I AWAKENED! I saw! I saw her mood swing, I saw how I spend a lot of wasted energy trying to help her see how negative she was. I came away most time like I am victimizing her. Not knowing, I needed to spend that energy on fixing me. I am not responsible for her and her crazy attitude.
@@sweetbabe3539 I never thought mine was the greatest thing. If I had of, in some ways, my childhood would have been much easier. I always knew something was off kilter. She just did not behave like other mothers. Now I know.
I was emotionally neglected by my narc father so I have always looked for a man to fill this void. I was obssessed with having a boyfriend and I still am. I have to get out of this pattern and see myself as enough. I AM ENOUGH !
I don’t think is addiction to people, is an addiction to all the emotions that the person make us feel.. Because I was co dependent in some of my relationships but I realized that I was not addicted to them, I was addicted to the ilusión of love and needy they generated in me. I believe 99% of empaths suffer some kind of co dependency when they are not awake of who they really are yet. After the awakening is other Story, absolutely everything change. 🌟 Great video Cristina!
I literally cried towards the end of the video. To know that I’ve spent the majority of my life being codependent and it’s not until now I realize I have so much work to do- so much unlearning and relearning. If it wasn’t for my spiritual awakening I would still be so miserable. I sincerely thank you for creating this video. It was extraordinarily helpful!
I have been healed by codependency in 2017, after a huge event that took place inside my family, which at first I deciphered as a failure..I was angry, hurt, depressed and felt powerless. But it was the very moment when I realised that everything and everyone outside of me cannot be controlled. I can only control myself, my reactions, my behavior..started constructing my borderlines and cultivating my creative power. Started yoga, meditation, started changing my habits, decided to follow a new career, I moved to a new house, followed a more spiritual path.. new things started happening in my life, that reflected the changes...one little miracle after the other. I broke the pattern and every aspect of my life changed to the better. Now, I am “here” for others when needed and asked, but in a whole different and much much healthier way, in a way that doesn’t drain me and makes me sleep like a baby, walking lighter, being happy.. Christina, your videos are triggering and truly helpful for people. Guys, go on and do all the little changes..it’s a path that starts with baby steps but these steps are the way to open the door for a happy life...and this world needs happier people during this amazing period
I realise that I have become utterly co-dependent on my son after a bitter divorce from his toxic father whom I feel I have to save my son from. It is not healthy for him or me… but I don’t know how to create boundaries with my child who is solely dependent on me. I can’t say no to him, and it kills me if he is unhappy. 😢
Codependents also struggle to identify their emotions and especially to feel anger and express it. Guilt is number one trait of codependency. Usually codependents are raised by self-centered,selfless, narcissistic parents and choose partners with the same dynamics (aka narcissistics as well) because of the confirmation bias, until the trauma is healed
I swore I was not codependent. Oh my goodness, I am full on codependent. Starting with my childhood through adulthood, I know now I have a major problem with my Mom. Thank you so much for all your advice and suggestions. I am also wondering if I picked nursing as a profession because of this? I am going to get this under control and take my power back. Thanks again.
I quit nursing at 50 and I feel so happy and relaxed. I really enjoy being alone and doing the things I want to do , not other people want. Freedom at last. Thanks Christina
I'm a nurse as well and for the last couple of days this has been my thoughts concerning nursing. Also, I think the nursing profession is full of codependents. In many ways nursing can be like a toxic relationship. We are abused by patients and staff, criticized often, and expected to still be nice while taking care of others when we experience mistreatment.
@@TheDstinfrared34 I couldn’t agree more. I’m trying to take one day at a time and put boundaries up when necessary. We still can be nice but we do not have to be abused. Good luck!
This is spot on. One thing I'd like to add is that All of our emotions come to tell us something, anger included. Anger, in my opinion, means we aren't listening/we don't feel heard. I believe that when we feel anger- it is our inner being nudging to us that 'it's' not being heard. It shows we aren't listening to ourselves, we aren't validating ourselves.
I don’t have any words to describe how this resonated with me. I spend all the possible hours of the day trying to help other people and then get angry when they become insensitive, ungrateful or entitled. And then I wonder how I just pass out at night from sheer mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion. Thank you 🙏🏻 thank you 🙏🏻 thank you 🙏🏻
I can absolutely verify that the focus is outside of self. I call it "other focused". It is so deeply rooted that even with my awareness and much work, it is persistantly under the surface and I catch myself still doing it all the time. If anyone else is near, my default focus is on them. I had a revelation once where I realized I was the center but my awareness was outward, like I was on a stage for others. It woke me up and started my journey. Still traveling! Thanks for addressing this most important of issues Christina!
Yeah, I have a similar thing. When i am with others, I always feel what they feel, and don't really feel my personality. Like I am dissolving in them. The other thing is that I can really feel the mood of another person, and it helps to build the conversation in the right direction.
I love you so much. I was adopted at 2 from third world country. My mom who adopted me was blind so and I was the only child she adopted. She was also badly treated being blind and abused and neglected by her own family. She was a missionary and had many good intentions but cycles still happen. I feel this so much. I have been healing for the past year and you have been such a large part of my healing. Thank you so much.
I’m slowly healing from being a co-defendant. Partly because of you and your teaching and also because I’ve awakened to my spiritual self. My father was pretty much nonexistent in my life. Thank you for all you do for people. ❤️
Omg I felt my sense of self slip away one day after a serious traumatic relationship with a narcissist. As I healed I got the good feeling back in my stomach and could be in “flow” again... Wow not having a sense of self is uncomfortable af! Thanks Christina 🙏🏼
As a life long codependent and a very long term addict, this was very helpful. After completely burning my life down and making sure I was left alone. I finally learned how I gave away all of myself. Loving myself so much now and pray I can help my 15 year get through her codependent nature (that she got from having to grow up and take care of her sister) before she goes out into life. 💚
Take her on Zen retreats, practice mindfulness, encourage her to be active and dance! Buy her sage and crystals. Do all the things now, she will integrate it into her lifestyle now. A better chance for her to live a healthy lifestyle now. 15 is tough she needs all the positive influence she can get. much love and namaste to you and yours
Thank you so much, this has been me for many years and many toxic relationships (family, lovers, friends). I resonated with you Christina and hold my hand up. I am a newly awakened empath well a year now and have been healing, setting bounderies and meditating. I will download the work book, you have helped me lots with my journey many thanks 💙👍🙏💐💕
Hi Christina just watched this video twice and to answer your question what surprised me the most was that I didn’t realize codependency was an addition! Also I was surprised that I didn’t value myself for many many years. I have been working on myself for about two years now and I have to say I’m much happier with me than I have ever been. I will never go back to being that person I use to be. I’m a good person and I have always been a good person. I don’t feel the need fix people anymore. And I realize I can’t control anyone but myself and that has been truly big for me. I still struggle with Anger sometimes, with the people that treated me so poorly and at myself for allowing those people to say such horrible things to me and never sticking up for myself. But I will never sit silent again. I will always stick up for myself. Thank you for this video. You really went into depth on this and I needed to understand this better. ❤️
I was this person before I awakened. And I'm still working on this and healing from this. My parents always saw me as good enough when I was able to give, and me always trying to please them and it went on to relationships too. I'm single now working on Self-love.
I think I want to add one more sign of codependency, I realized now: it is difficult to take care of myself, while I can care of other people. For example, it is easy for me to wash dishes at my parent's or friend's home, but it is so hard to do the same for myself.
Now I understand better what's going on with my creativity. I was struggling to work with music, but now when I have time and even paid order for music, it is very hard to just sit and start. Also I am sad and ashamed of myself. But I want to learn to really value myself. Thank you for the video.❤️It is so important to know, that I really can help myself.
This is life changing information, I hate to admit but I'm a copdependant and struggled with finding myself and my power. Your videos have helped tremendously in my healing journey and I can't thank you enough!
I knew something is wrong with because I ended up with narcissist and toxic people 2 times in my life... I never knew it is called codependency.. I love you Christina thank you so much for making me aware of this...
I learned most of this through overwhelm and exhaustion and feeling unappreciated. What surprised me was that I had ulterior motives! I thought I was sacrificing for the people I loved and got little or nothing in return. I didn't see that my self worth was tied up in these relationships. I wanted out of them so badly at times that I was suicidal. I also learned much more about how and why I gave my power away. I thought it was just taken away in childhood and there was no way to reclaim it. I see now that I was that baby elephant tied to a stake that didn't know it could just pull it up and walk away once I had grown. My conditioning had those beliefs of powerlessness down so deep that I felt trapped in helping others and unable to ask for help myself. The abusers I ran away from, the addicts I felt that I could not abandon. I constantly felt abandoned myself, not realizing that it was really ME who had abandoned me. Thank you, Christina, for your guidance on how to heal this. Years of therapy have not helped as much as the wisdom you shared in this video ❤
Thank you so much Christina for this wonderful teaching. It’s helped answering questions about why I keep attracting people who’ve made me feel like I could/should helped them. I was a codependency (I exhibited all the symptoms you mentioned) 😳 😆 😌. I still am and now with awareness I’m going to heal heal it and gaining back my power as well as setting my boundaries. Thank you 🙏
You were spot on with this one. From my childhood to now I've struggled. My biggest struggle is being a mother and knowing the boundaries I need. I second guess my parenting all the time.
i just wanted to say thank you. I've been suffering from codependency for years and i've seen so many therapists and they couldnt help me at all! thank you for saving me.
I justed to say that the fact you made the workbook free almost made me cry! I'm so grateful to you for that. I am dealing with this and boundaries and I really want to heal that issue. Thank you! ❤
Thank you so much Christina, you have brought me a so many other beautiful souls so far, please keep doing what you're doing! I thank the universe for you and this wonderful community!💗☯️🌻🦋Love and Light to all🥰🥰
First of all....I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS 🙌🏾 I cant tell you how much you've helped me create an emotional and spiritual vocabulary through your work. And help me understand the "why". I had NO IDEA I was codependent. Severely! Never knew what it was or that I was a walking around in that space. Its a little embarrassing honestly. But better 33 than 53 right? Im so grateful I cant stand it! Thanks ❤
My Sister is a codependent. She in a relationship that has been draining the life out of her. I can see that somewhere deep down she knows it, and yet she still somehow will not allow herself to admit it. For it is exactly as you said, a type of unhealthy addiction. And once she admits it, she knows she will have to decide what to do about it. It is like she would rather live in denial of it, than face the reality.
Well it's a few things. We call it The Hole.. The thought of going back I to that hole is so daunting, that we put up with alot of bs. Try to change and make it work bc we hate that hole we go into. I was in it for 4 years. She pulled me out from a previous relationship, and it didn't work, now this one pulled me out which I was eternally grateful for. And stayed out for 13 years. But she became very toxic. Also finances play a huge role in things. And if u have no one to goto until u get a new place.. Yeah.. U try to make it work then secretly try and save money. Even that doesn't work..
@@joankennes3230 oh God yes. I'm feeling it now. Badly. They left April 23rd. It hurts alot. 13 yrs just gone like that. They go on like nothin happen.
@@daviedood2503 I am so sorry you were not seen, heard or acknowledged for who you were and are. I am so sorry you were not appreciated for your love, commitment, efforts and gratitude. You deserved and deserve all of that! It is your birthright.
@@joankennes3230 oh wow hey thanks Joan! You're a very nice person. :) I try really hard to tell myself that there IS life outside the narcissist. 13 yrs is a long time. Very loyal and dedicated. Telling myself that it's OK to talk to other people now, it's OK to let loose and have fun and be happy. I wish I could just see a hypnotist and have these 13 years erased or pushed soooo far back in my memory, that I don't even think twice about it. Even if I see a trigger I'd just shrug like nothing. I told myself do NOT get attached to her. It's very hard not to after being w them so long. You doing things for them and even them doing things for you. Thoughtful things to keep u hooked. It's also hard to put that label on them. Hurts but I have to stop lying to myself.
Oh my God ... this is me ... my whole family... my whole life ~ hit a major cataclysm of mass, life-heart-wrending shock, confusion yesterday. Huge. This video is the hugest miracle. Just ... thank you
This is what is happening to my mother, and I have no clue how to help her. Every time I say something it’s swept under the rug. “ she doesn’t know anything” is what everyone says to me. So I let it go I care for her but I have to move on with my life. I sent her this I hope she listens if she can’t listen to her own daughter
Thank you very much.. I was not aware that I am having this issue.. My TF ran away because I have abandoned myself.. I forgot about what truly matters.. Now I am stepping into my power and gaining it back as I have realized that this journey is about myself.. The expression of the Divine in me.. I thank you.. O really need this..
I'm on the fence with this one. Maybe Im not a full-blown codependent. I don't need people and don't seek out broken people. My motto is be your own hero and I live by that and tell others to do the same. BUT I do have a fear of abandonment and my childhood was full of emotional and physical neglect and abuse. I grew up early taking adult roles wayy before I should have. Having to cater to my Narcissistic mother's needs. I love helping people but it's not a need and I don't expect a thank you which ends up me being in toxic relationships where they are one sided and not reciprocated. Thank you for the video. I have a lot to think about. And a lot to heal.
Would you say an empathic person without healthy boundaries is codependent? Because I just started my spiritual journey & discovered I'm empathic & this video also helped me realize why I put up with my narcissist husband (whom I'm leaving soon b/c he drained my energy so much I developed manic depression & attempted suicide 2x) but found my power & relearned & learned myself & am stepping into my own💖💪🏾🤗
Surprisingly, from your VDO I have just learned that I am a Codependent with 8 signs you stated. I'm so grateful to your kindness with compassion in putting all valuable information you experienced and researched for us. Many many thanks Christina. I love to listen all your VDO.
Hi Christina, thank you! I just want to add a reason what creates codependecy. In my case and I think in many others as well : besides being neglected the child doesn't get any compliments ONLY when she helps or does sth good for others. I remember that I was thinking all the time what I could do to make my mom happy or to get compliment. Also nothing was good enough for my dad. Even if I did my best: for example very young age I cooked but my dad - not rude but - always found something to criticize.
I was so reluctant to see this video because “I’m not co-dependent” or so I thought I wasn’t. It all makes so much sense to me now. Thank you and now working on regaining all my power back! I’ve learned so much with your videos. Sending you lots of unconditional love with so much gratitude 💕 💕💕✨💫💛
Thanks for enlightening me and giving me some guidance during a difficult time in my life right now. Been in a codependent relationship with an alcoholic/drug addict for 27 yrs. I'm ready to move on 🙏
Christina, I was watching this video to help someone else, and SURPISE, I resonated with so much of it! I'd love to see a video and Motherhood and Codependency!
😮that hit home when you said we help others to make ourselves feel better and that is spot on ..I thought it was a good thing to help others but I do get burnt out and feel lost when on my own .. I save others and I can’t save myself
Yess and right before the pisces new moon! I love my fellow water signs, this is a much needed video for ya'll. Oh and Virgos. This video is for everyone but highly recommend for anyone with water placements in their chart. Or healing from psychological abuse.
I’m still in the early stages of my awakening, and I feel a lot of ego pushback when learn hard truths about myself, like that I’m codependent. When I notice this happening, I try to acknowledge it, not judge it, and work with soothing mantras (“This is for my best and highest good.” “Healing is necessary.” “I love and accept all parts of myself.” Etc)
I am just so grateful for your videos Christina. They always arrive exactly when I'm ready. I have been healing my codependent tenancies for so long and I feel so happy with how far I've come. Your video just helped me break through that next glass ceiling. Gonna drum and dance tonight! ✨🔥✨
Absolutely grateful for being told about your videos. As usual, this one hits the nail on the head and I’m over here going “oof not again.” Here’s to resolving the codependent issues I have been dragging around since childhood. Yay! 😂🤦♀️
I have been in co-dependent relationships all my life & it's exhausting! My brother & I were raised around drugs & alcohol. I then.met a man when I.was.20 & felt the need to save he & his son & you.know the story & addictions of one form or another....wow! It makes so much sense! Its like we are tidaly locked for 34 yrs & I have been afraid I won't escape & the self.sabotage & lack of self worth
My mother has bpd and she was heavily abused by her mother and it reflected alot in the way shs acted. She hated everything I was into and when I became a vegetarian she refused to cook for me or even try. This video taught me alot thank you.
Hi Christina, I can see a cycle within my family. My mums mum emotionally neglected her was to busy doing her own thing and my mum is a very co dependant person with men she is with, but she’s also quite selfish to this day at 58. She also then done the same to me , emotionally neglected me as a child as she was always busy with other stuff and pleasing other people/her partner. I then realised my first proper relationship I was being co dependant also. But finally I have broke the cycle and now with someone where I don’t feel I always need to help them. He works on himself and I support him, but I’m not holding his hand trying to save him and do everything for him. So glad I broke free from this, unfortunately I don’t think my mum will ever change but I’m glad I have made progress spiritually as I spent time on my own after my first breakup and thought about everything and done a lot of healing and work on myself realising I deserve so much better and to value myself and have a sense of self . X
LOVED this!! Hi, my name is Jim and I’m a recovering codependent!! Lol Honestly though this is absolutely awesome information and I’d have loved to come across this 3-25 years ago! I still see some of the signs in me but I’m very aware of them and usually catch myself now. Still need work on my sacral though and now have some tools to go get. Thank you so much for your heart Christina, much appreciated!!🙏
I think I got cancer from being a codependent. I had a narc mom and from my earliest memories was only valuable in the family for what I could do for her. It really damaged by self identity. Cancer and almost dying was a real wake up call for me to learn to love and take care of myself.
What surprises me most is that codependency ties into the second chakra, besides the first? Never heard of it before! But maybe it will help to add it into my regimen, though I listen to Hz music for the lower three. It's fascinating how and why it can manifest in people in several ways. For me, I was raised and conditioned into it. If I didn't do what my mom (grandmother really) wanted, I was threatened and manipulated. I was told that nothing was ever mine. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do that. No good guy would ever want me. Things like, "If you don't do ______, then I'm going to _______" were frequently used. If I wanted to do something for me or didn't want to give something away, I was being selfish and I ought to be ashamed of myself. At 9+, I had to clean part of my aunt's place, take care of her animals, and then 2 years later help with her kid. Later, I had to watch my dad (grandfather), and while I appreciate that time I got to spend with him, I was usually never asked, but told and manipulated. It's ironic that I don't feel I NEED a boyfriend, for example. Or that though I like spending time around others sometimes, I'm quite happy spending time by myself and thrive, and am then able to be happier around others. There were/are still negative affects though, such as getting into toxic relationships. And in the past, I used to behave like I could fix or help someone, and now I don't even want to try Lol. I've been learning to place boundaries and see red flags beforehand and look at the belief system that was cultivated within me and what I truly feel and believe about myself. I gave my power away because I believed that (you guessed it): I couldn't do this, I couldn't do that, and I must be selfish. Codependency has been my biggest Achilles heel when it comes to family members. It's not a true desire of my own to take care of them, take blame and responsibility, and put up with their crap. But it IS my responsibility to heal that part of me that feels like I have to help them or even say "F it" when they EXPECT it. Now that I'm older, I don't have to agree to it, and can pass their crap right back to them for them to deal with. Codependency had also seeped into and attracted other undesirable relationships (friendships, dating, etc...). Thank you for touching down on and exploring this subject in greater depth. What makes healing a little smoother is knowing that it was never my choice to begin with. My mom wanted to control me and make me do what she wanted me to do and she didn't care how I felt or what I really wanted. Can you please possibly do a video of clients or contributors' success stories, how they dealt with it, and so on. And could you also do one video on the separate functions of the lower three chakras and how they work together. I always thought root was security, base awareness, and tribe. Second was creativity, birth, and sex. And solar plexus is personal power and self esteem. I know this is a long comment, but I want to thank you for going into it more and providing some unique helpful tips. Much love and gratitude ❤️!
Need to be needed 👉 Self-sacrifice My needs aren't important Controling people Fixer syndrome Fear of abandonement Martyr complex ; angry for a lack of appreciation Externalized power Relying on people to feel good about yourself
Truly and fully loving yourself (and it has to be energetically and deeply felt from the inside, not just said or acted out - though those are starting points) is when codependency begins to fade away and real connections emerge. It's a gradual process, not a quick fix...but you'll one day begin to love the world and people around you with no underlying agenda for you or them. That kind of healing invites those who truly see you and want you to show it the healthy way and it creates a wonderful balance of giving and receiving in relationships. Thank you, Christina!
We are all codependent on some level of that spectrum. The more awareness we have, the more choice we have to make decisions that enable release this pattern. It just doesn't release one person but others in the relationship as well. I'm a recovering codependent
What a coincidence! I was wanting to ask you how codependents know if they’re following they own joy or others. It’s tough because it brings codependents relief to get other people’s needs get met. So I guess it’s the difference between relief and joy I need to focus on. Thanks so much for this video 🙏
I really surprised when I heard about that I m saving people bcoz of I want to feel worthy ..o my God..I had a hard childhood .I was a parent to my parents Nd my younger bro..I m now 44 and whole life I have been shoulder that other responsibilities on me uncounciously ..it's really shockd me that I never feel wanted or much needed by others.i always feel powerless and drained.. From four years after gone through my dark night of soul period I started doing shadow work and searching for solutions and universe sending me more help. That's magical..I m really improving Nd realising in awareness that where I was doing wrong.thanks to sister ur all videos helping people like us ..and this codependency video is really superb..I was into that codependency traits.felt helpless without others ..I m living alone but I crave for human connection so much and need love. I m a loving person but some issues I have to clear and heal.. Lots of blessings and love to u with abundance..u really helping this world family collective energy. I lost my partner's bcoz of this traits.bcoz if I don't value myself how they can? I m learning to feel worthy and valuable plus creating more boundaries and stop people pleasing and saying no when I feel to say without any guilt and other projection on me. 👍👍 Thanks for guidance and kind help. Prayers and blessings for the collective counciousness.🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️✨😊😊
Dear Christina I have had all the signs of co-dependency until I was 47. I then looked for help and there was an enormous change in my life. My marriage really suffered when my behavior changed and I really stopped being co- dependent. I experienced a huge relief in my life. For the first time in my life I could start taking care of myself. I have done a course on boundaries which has also helped me.
ahhhmazing content! Thank you, thank you Christina! I am super excited to say that often when you launch a new video I find that within my last three days I have already naturally begun practicing the tips you share. Which makes me feel so aligned and having you, someone that inspires me reaffirm it well that is such a beautiful moment. It happens more and more with your lessons and my teachings. I always feel called to make notes of the material you share. Even if it is something I feel I have within, the way your affirmations align with my affirmations it is no surprise to me we are all connected. My soul feels honored to share space with your soul. Truly my soul tribe.
Hi Christina! Thank you for hitting again straight to my pain point! I have been wondering why I am so readily responding with intention to help others, and why I find myself drained from my energy when I actually start doing it. What surprised most is that co-dependency is related to the 2nd chakra. This answered many questions for me. I am also glad to hear that blocking my creativity is a sign of a weakened 2nd chakra (in addition to further weakening it). In fact I fully consciously chose to make this block. You talked about the dysfunctional family, I believe that emotional support also counts as stepping into a caretaker role, when the child feels it needs to defend one of the parents from the attacks if the other? I am also relieved to learn that the sense of self worthlessness is an illusion. I see that I don't need to constantly seek ways to be good or need the approval or acceptance of the others in order to feel that I am doing the right thing. I feel I so much need peace, to be left alone but I am also restless, worried, ashamed and feel guilty for not contributing to the wellbeing of the world.. so I keep getting myself into situations where I want to help someone with something. I keep falling ill or least, keep getting powerful headaches every few days .. I haven't had a period for many months now... Now I can see that maybe I need to get off this fast moving train, take time and repack my bags then when I feel strong and ready, chose which train I want to get on. Warm big hug! Thank you
Thank you Thank you 🙏 I did Codependency work years ago, but I find myself back in another relationship where I given my power away. I going to start tonight working with the workbook.
I had no clue I was a codependent, did not know why I felt like misfit and such a people pleaser, disconnected from true intimacy, took me 50+ years to know. Well, I have to get my head out of the past, and live my best years yet! Wow! Somewhat sad to have lived like a little ship on the high seas, no grounding, I am so grateful for you Christina and your perspective, a true breath of FRESH air for the soul!
I am not a codependent person but I attracted narcissists in my life, It explains now why I was never under their control and why they couldn't abuse me, well they did in a different way like spreading rumours and all ,there are certain things which I can't torelate no matter what because of my self-respect. My sister was manipulative and was used to confuse me mentally but never overpowered me as I never gave that power away.Once she became physically abusive,she clutched my hand so tight in anger that it bruised my hand and that was the last day ,i didn't take it any more. thank you to the people for uploading videos and traits of narcissists,as i didn't know before but recently came to know and got parted from my sister. well before watching these videos I healed.I found out that I was filled with anger with what she did,and i started living like her ,in rage,and you know those people who laugh all the time from their heart and childish ,well i was that and i knew i shouldn't lose it for anyone. Then i started thinking from her point of view,even it is distorted that why she was jealous,how unhappy she would be, that didn't mean i ran back to her,i don't talk to her but I wish she remains happy,as I know If I talk to her I will lose my balance.I am in a good place where i want good for her and me,sometimes anger gets provoked when i see her mentally abusing my youngest sister but then i console myself that anger would not let me be peaceful. And yeah those boys who were narcissists I don't hold at all anger for them as well,one of them took advantage of me when I was drunk,I was just his friend (1 of them),and the friend who took advantage of me spread bad rumours in my office as well, after a month or so ,I released all the anger as I didn't want to live like them in a state of anger,it's exhausing.I didn't go to any psychiatrist and all , i just healed ,1st by becoming as angry as i can,lived in it and then released and then when they pop up in my mind I think good about them,I thought revenge would be fair but nothing is more rewarding then getting healed,only a healed person would understand.
Hearing hey Christina I really liked hearing about some of the causes of codependency. I think I'm still currently struggling with it. My father passed away at a very early age so taking care of myself fell on my shoulders while my mom worked to keep everything together.
I want to add that a stepping into an adult role as a child doesn’t just create codependency if it happens when you are a small child, like Christina’s example of ages 4-6. It can also happen in your adolescence. For me it was around age 13. And I wanted to add that I’ve cut many codependent relationships out of my life since beginning my spiritual awakening BUT I’ve noticed that I’m still placing my energy outside of myself… in my PET. So I don’t think these relationships have to be strictly with other people.
Wow 😯 you nailed it at age 4 I was taking care of everyone. My father was horribly physically abusive . I had to grow up fast and had no childhood. At age 12 my mom left me literally. She was gone. She was 10 miles away with her high school sweetheart. Drinking every day. Yeah I grew up fast. And this is me. Codependent. Thank you Christina. I’m in therapy now and things are getting better. Your videos help me just so so much. 🌸
As a child I was told I was selfish if I wanted something. Mother encouraged me not to want anything. Great at shaming. Words like swords. Fathers words, never good enough, never be as good as my mother
I always find this channel very helpful on my healing journey. From psychology and spirituality points of view, my soul, mind and spirit are being reminded and empowered to be ready the path of recovery. In my case of codep, I grow up with a narcissist mother who completely torn my childhood. That's probably another sign of a codep. Other sign of codep: when everyone says a person is rude/toxic, you still keep contact and excuse his/her mistakes. When I found all my friends and coworkers are needy ppl or narcissist, I know how serious of my codep. Just like addict, codep will go through withdraw and repalse very often through the rehab journey. Need a support group such as this channel. Namaste. Still hope 🦋
What surprised me the most about this video is that you never mentioned the TOXIC AF relationship codependents have with narcissist. Perhaps you can make a part to video about that. But the fact that you left out the sociochopaths (narcs) is probably for the best because they are the creators of codependents (parents, guardians, primary caregivers). I'm a recovering codependent. I've spent the past 4⃣ years on a conscious journey of healing from self-love deficit disorder. I'm vigilant of how I interact with people because the tendency to pick up old habits float beneath the surface and we all know that the best way avoid picking up habits we've broken, is to stay away from those who resonate at the frequency of the behavior. I've been a solid 3️⃣ years feed of people from my past who vibrate at the level of my old conditioning and it's given me opportunity to heal and nurture the love I am rediscovering for myself and reclaim the personal power I was denied ownership of in childhood. I pray that whoever listed to this video and read this post finds immense healing and release from all codependent relationships in 2021. Peace and God bless🙂
I truly enjoying drinking my morning tea and listening to your vids... In the section on anger when you went to black et white realization...when co-dependents are questioned... I laughed quite a bit... Great video... I've never had it explained in such a succinct way before. 🤔👍😍☕❤️
We need to remind ourselves that we were NOT meant to be perfect!!! It's OKAY to feel emotions, we CAN NOT be in control of everything. Life will go on.
I show not all 10signs but I know that I'm codependent .In fact since last 2 months have been wanting to change and believe me led to these videos .thankyou
Thank you, Christina! What I found surprising is that in some of the characteristics of codependency, I mistook it as being nurturing. However, I have to completely reasonate in my spirit with what you expressed and I have some work to do. I am lovingly calling my power back and THIS TIME, I'll know how to keep it with Me. Thank you so much for this wisdom, Goddess! Blessings and Light!
This is the first time I have heard this explanation ! I was that child and still am. OMG what a lightbulb moment! Having the responsibility of a parent as a child because nobody else could do it. Feeling your power being drained from you by toxic people, wow. I knew it was happening but did not understand why.
💥 NEXT UP: How to Set Strong BOUNDARIES with Others [4 steps]: ua-cam.com/video/hRqtsoRIKUQ/v-deo.html
I definitely need that information. Ty dear.
@Don S hey, hopefully Christina answers, might try her on instagram, she is there more but, in my experience healing the wounds results in the other cravings to go away. 🤍 & light to you
@Christina you triggered a memory for me in this video. When you spoke about your personal experience with your father at a very young age caring for him when he was ill. Those words triggered a memory from my past that I was unaware of I had to stop your video because I was crying so hard. I don’t know where I would be without your videos and guidance. I’m so glad UA-cam suggested your videos to me at the perfect time on my spiritual journey. I had just woken up back in sept2020 and I almost immediately came across your videos 😍 so so much healing has occurred in my life since then through the guidance you give in your videos. Words can’t express my gratitude for you accepting this calling.
Yes please!!! ❤️
Hey Christina - great video, and useful tips that I will definitely use! I was wondering if you took requests for topics in future videos? If so, could you perhaps do one on procrastination? And how fear ties into it? I'd love to see how it is all linked energetically. Thanks in advance :)
I have been through years of therapy and went to school for psychology. I could not break through my codependency, being the giver, until I started chakra healing. I started setting boundaries without even thinking about it. It is one of the first changes I noticed in myself.
Good for you, keep going :)
@@heart2heart-nhataihy117 hello ng việt nam
Western psychology has been really limiting healing, change, realization and growth potential. As a monopoly it has also not recognizing and integrating much more ancient and powerful knowledge and practices. It is important to be aware and allow change in the healing sector. We are doing that at all levels.
That gives me hope! I need to really start working on my chakras. Thank you for your response here you shared to Christina. This helped me and I'm sure many others. I appreciate. Sending you love.
What kind of chakra healing did you do? Asking as a fellow psychologist:)
Being emotionally neglected by a narcissistic parent is a recipe for codependency.
How so? Could you explain further?
@@EMS01119 The narcissist is concerned only with what affects them. The empath feels others' emotions. So it is easy for an empath's power center to be drawn towards the narcissist. The power center being outside the self is one sign of codependency. Narcissists are energy vampires who feed on empaths' energy. The narcissist can convince the empath that the empath needs the narcissist to survive. The codependent person believes that another person is needed to survive. This is just a start. I see many similarities between codependency and the narcissist/empath relationship.
@Susan A Narcissist mother sets the path for a codependent. Lived in mental misery for most of my life, not knowing why? I thought my mom was the greatest thing, until I AWAKENED! I saw! I saw her mood swing, I saw how I spend a lot of wasted energy trying to help her see how negative she was. I came away most time like I am victimizing her. Not knowing, I needed to spend that energy on fixing me. I am not responsible for her and her crazy attitude.
@@sweetbabe3539 I never thought mine was the greatest thing. If I had of, in some ways, my childhood would have been much easier. I always knew something was off kilter. She just did not behave like other mothers. Now I know.
I was emotionally neglected by my narc father so I have always looked for a man to fill this void. I was obssessed with having a boyfriend and I still am. I have to get out of this pattern and see myself as enough. I AM ENOUGH !
I don’t think is addiction to people, is an addiction to all the emotions that the person make us feel.. Because I was co dependent in some of my relationships but I realized that I was not addicted to them, I was addicted to the ilusión of love and needy they generated in me. I believe 99% of empaths suffer some kind of co dependency when they are not awake of who they really are yet. After the awakening is other Story, absolutely everything change. 🌟 Great video Cristina!
This hit for me. From the video to reading this. I have a lot to work on. And if this had a heart button, I would push it!!
Same thoughts here! Well said.
@@dabreacacolson7904 Go watch the videos of EMPATH UPRISING , that guy will empower you !!!
@@iamdannita who is it by so I can click on the next video?!
Totally agree with you, bless you
I literally cried towards the end of the video. To know that I’ve spent the majority of my life being codependent and it’s not until now I realize I have so much work to do- so much unlearning and relearning. If it wasn’t for my spiritual awakening I would still be so miserable. I sincerely thank you for creating this video. It was extraordinarily helpful!
Ou2
Yes thats how I feel. Thank you Christina to bring to the surface what I deep down already know.
Same happens to me . I have not words to describe how glad I am feeling!
I feel you, I also just realised I've been codependent this whole time...
Many blessings and love to you. 💕
I have been healed by codependency in 2017, after a huge event that took place inside my family, which at first I deciphered as a failure..I was angry, hurt, depressed and felt powerless. But it was the very moment when I realised that everything and everyone outside of me cannot be controlled. I can only control myself, my reactions, my behavior..started constructing my borderlines and cultivating my creative power. Started yoga, meditation, started changing my habits, decided to follow a new career, I moved to a new house, followed a more spiritual path.. new things started happening in my life, that reflected the changes...one little miracle after the other. I broke the pattern and every aspect of my life changed to the better. Now, I am “here” for others when needed and asked, but in a whole different and much much healthier way, in a way that doesn’t drain me and makes me sleep like a baby, walking lighter, being happy.. Christina, your videos are triggering and truly helpful for people. Guys, go on and do all the little changes..it’s a path that starts with baby steps but these steps are the way to open the door for a happy life...and this world needs happier people during this amazing period
Thank you for sharing, the light at the end of the tunnel. It means a lot and it gives us hope!
@@vonBRS light always finds its way ❤️
I realise that I have become utterly co-dependent on my son after a bitter divorce from his toxic father whom I feel I have to save my son from. It is not healthy for him or me… but I don’t know how to create boundaries with my child who is solely dependent on me. I can’t say no to him, and it kills me if he is unhappy. 😢
Codependents also struggle to identify their emotions and especially to feel anger and express it. Guilt is number one trait of codependency. Usually codependents are raised by self-centered,selfless, narcissistic parents and choose partners with the same dynamics (aka narcissistics as well) because of the confirmation bias, until the trauma is healed
Up until now 😊
I've only just identified this pattern deep within me and it's very unsettling...makes you questions everything.
Can you go in depth about your first two lines. The struggling to identify their emotions and especially to fill anger and express it
@@FaithResurge search on internet or youtube about enmeshment trauma. Codependency starts from childhood
@@mandolaa4855 oh you meant identify the source. Ok.
When you mentioned a workbook I thought „I’m tossing coin for that“ but then you said it’s FREE and I thought „Wow Christina really loves us“ ✨☺️
Hi, where can I find the work book?
Ya I can't find the workbook
Sorry I still don't see it..where is the video description..just not on my radar I'm afriad
Got it! Learn something new!!!
can i please have one of the free work book
Explains why i held on to my ex-boyfriend for so long. Didn't need him AT ALL but yet i hung on. This was very helpful, Thank you!
I swore I was not codependent. Oh my goodness, I am full on codependent. Starting with my childhood through adulthood, I know now I have a major problem with my Mom. Thank you so much for all your advice and suggestions. I am also wondering if I picked nursing as a profession because of this? I am going to get this under control and take my power back. Thanks again.
I am a nurse too and used to be codependant. Now as e recovered cod. I left my work as a nurse after 32 years and i am free
I quit nursing at 50 and I feel so happy and relaxed. I really enjoy being alone and doing the things I want to do , not other people want. Freedom at last. Thanks Christina
I'm a nurse as well and for the last couple of days this has been my thoughts concerning nursing. Also, I think the nursing profession is full of codependents. In many ways nursing can be like a toxic relationship. We are abused by patients and staff, criticized often, and expected to still be nice while taking care of others when we experience mistreatment.
@@TheDstinfrared34 I couldn’t agree more. I’m trying to take one day at a time and put boundaries up when necessary. We still can be nice but we do not have to be abused. Good luck!
This is spot on. One thing I'd like to add is that All of our emotions come to tell us something, anger included. Anger, in my opinion, means we aren't listening/we don't feel heard. I believe that when we feel anger- it is our inner being nudging to us that 'it's' not being heard. It shows we aren't listening to ourselves, we aren't validating ourselves.
12 years ago I got 10/10 signs. Today I got 7/10. So I guess I'm slowly moving towards my real self? Thank you Christina!
I don’t have any words to describe how this resonated with me. I spend all the possible hours of the day trying to help other people and then get angry when they become insensitive, ungrateful or entitled. And then I wonder how I just pass out at night from sheer mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion.
Thank you 🙏🏻 thank you 🙏🏻 thank you 🙏🏻
me too😊
This video popped up as I was deep in meditation. I opened my eyes and knew immediately this is one of those angelically-led synchronicities 🕊
Same here! Just finished meditating and it popped up 🥰🥰🥰
Love this!!! ✨💕
I can absolutely verify that the focus is outside of self. I call it "other focused". It is so deeply rooted that even with my awareness and much work, it is persistantly under the surface and I catch myself still doing it all the time. If anyone else is near, my default focus is on them. I had a revelation once where I realized I was the center but my awareness was outward, like I was on a stage for others. It woke me up and started my journey. Still traveling! Thanks for addressing this most important of issues Christina!
I love other focused...it is the perfect description. 🙏
@@susansilverstein889 Yes
Yeah, I have a similar thing. When i am with others, I always feel what they feel, and don't really feel my personality. Like I am dissolving in them. The other thing is that I can really feel the mood of another person, and it helps to build the conversation in the right direction.
Yes. My mom was very sick (mental health) and I felt like I had to take care of her. This sheds a lot of light on things. Thank you.
Who else has recovered from codependency? Raise your hand and be proud! 🤩🙋🏾♀️
I love you so much. I was adopted at 2 from third world country. My mom who adopted me was blind so and I was the only child she adopted. She was also badly treated being blind and abused and neglected by her own family. She was a missionary and had many good intentions but cycles still happen. I feel this so much. I have been healing for the past year and you have been such a large part of my healing. Thank you so much.
I’m slowly healing from being a co-defendant. Partly because of you and your teaching and also because I’ve awakened to my spiritual self. My father was pretty much nonexistent in my life. Thank you for all you do for people. ❤️
Learn to love yourself and you will heal the codependent!!! Thank you Dr Christina!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
This explains so much. Every single sign of codependency is checked off for me. Thank you for the healing suggestions. 💙
I really needed this video today. I love how this topic was handled in a very straightforward way without judgment
Omg I felt my sense of self slip away one day after a serious traumatic relationship with a narcissist. As I healed I got the good feeling back in my stomach and could be in “flow” again... Wow not having a sense of self is uncomfortable af! Thanks Christina 🙏🏼
As a life long codependent and a very long term addict, this was very helpful. After completely burning my life down and making sure I was left alone. I finally learned how I gave away all of myself. Loving myself so much now and pray I can help my 15 year get through her codependent nature (that she got from having to grow up and take care of her sister) before she goes out into life. 💚
Take her on Zen retreats, practice mindfulness, encourage her to be active and dance! Buy her sage and crystals. Do all the things now, she will integrate it into her lifestyle now. A better chance for her to live a healthy lifestyle now. 15 is tough she needs all the positive influence she can get. much love and namaste to you and yours
@@mandydivine7035 thank you!!! I will definitely do that.
Thank you so much, this has been me for many years and many toxic relationships (family, lovers, friends). I resonated with you Christina and hold my hand up. I am a newly awakened empath well a year now and have been healing, setting bounderies and meditating. I will download the work book, you have helped me lots with my journey many thanks 💙👍🙏💐💕
Hi Christina just watched this video twice and to answer your question what surprised me the most was that I didn’t realize codependency was an addition! Also I was surprised that I didn’t value myself for many many years. I have been working on myself for about two years now and I have to say I’m much happier with me than I have ever been. I will never go back to being that person I use to be. I’m a good person and I have always been a good person. I don’t feel the need fix people anymore. And I realize I can’t control anyone but myself and that has been truly big for me. I still struggle with Anger sometimes, with the people that treated me so poorly and at myself for allowing those people to say such horrible things to me and never sticking up for myself. But I will never sit silent again. I will always stick up for myself. Thank you for this video. You really went into depth on this and I needed to understand this better. ❤️
I was this person before I awakened. And I'm still working on this and healing from this. My parents always saw me as good enough when I was able to give, and me always trying to please them and it went on to relationships too. I'm single now working on Self-love.
I think I want to add one more sign of codependency, I realized now: it is difficult to take care of myself, while I can care of other people. For example, it is easy for me to wash dishes at my parent's or friend's home, but it is so hard to do the same for myself.
Now I understand better what's going on with my creativity. I was struggling to work with music, but now when I have time and even paid order for music, it is very hard to just sit and start.
Also I am sad and ashamed of myself. But I want to learn to really value myself.
Thank you for the video.❤️It is so important to know, that I really can help myself.
This is life changing information, I hate to admit but I'm a copdependant and struggled with finding myself and my power. Your videos have helped tremendously in my healing journey and I can't thank you enough!
Along with the "Anger" "Resentment" plays a key role in Codependency. Feelings of Resentment is what opened MY own eyes.
I knew something is wrong with because I ended up with narcissist and toxic people 2 times in my life... I never knew it is called codependency.. I love you Christina thank you so much for making me aware of this...
Crying while watching this video for the second time. I watched it a year ago but this time I understand it fully. I will overcome this!
I learned most of this through overwhelm and exhaustion and feeling unappreciated. What surprised me was that I had ulterior motives! I thought I was sacrificing for the people I loved and got little or nothing in return. I didn't see that my self worth was tied up in these relationships. I wanted out of them so badly at times that I was suicidal. I also learned much more about how and why I gave my power away. I thought it was just taken away in childhood and there was no way to reclaim it. I see now that I was that baby elephant tied to a stake that didn't know it could just pull it up and walk away once I had grown. My conditioning had those beliefs of powerlessness down so deep that I felt trapped in helping others and unable to ask for help myself. The abusers I ran away from, the addicts I felt that I could not abandon. I constantly felt abandoned myself, not realizing that it was really ME who had abandoned me. Thank you, Christina, for your guidance on how to heal this. Years of therapy have not helped as much as the wisdom you shared in this video ❤
Thank you so much Christina for this wonderful teaching. It’s helped answering questions about why I keep attracting people who’ve made me feel like I could/should helped them. I was a codependency (I exhibited all the symptoms you mentioned) 😳 😆 😌. I still am and now with awareness I’m going to heal heal it and gaining back my power as well as setting my boundaries. Thank you 🙏
You were spot on with this one. From my childhood to now I've struggled. My biggest struggle is being a mother and knowing the boundaries I need. I second guess my parenting all the time.
i just wanted to say thank you. I've been suffering from codependency for years and i've seen so many therapists and they couldnt help me at all! thank you for saving me.
I justed to say that the fact you made the workbook free almost made me cry! I'm so grateful to you for that. I am dealing with this and boundaries and I really want to heal that issue. Thank you! ❤
Thank you so much Christina, you have brought me a so many other beautiful souls so far, please keep doing what you're doing! I thank the universe for you and this wonderful community!💗☯️🌻🦋Love and Light to all🥰🥰
First of all....I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS 🙌🏾
I cant tell you how much you've helped me create an emotional and spiritual vocabulary through your work. And help me understand the "why". I had NO IDEA I was codependent. Severely! Never knew what it was or that I was a walking around in that space. Its a little embarrassing honestly. But better 33 than 53 right? Im so grateful I cant stand it! Thanks ❤
My Sister is a codependent. She in a relationship that has been draining the life out of her. I can see that somewhere deep down she knows it, and yet she still somehow will not allow herself to admit it. For it is exactly as you said, a type of unhealthy addiction. And once she admits it, she knows she will have to decide what to do about it. It is like she would rather live in denial of it, than face the reality.
Well it's a few things. We call it The Hole.. The thought of going back I to that hole is so daunting, that we put up with alot of bs. Try to change and make it work bc we hate that hole we go into. I was in it for 4 years. She pulled me out from a previous relationship, and it didn't work, now this one pulled me out which I was eternally grateful for. And stayed out for 13 years. But she became very toxic. Also finances play a huge role in things. And if u have no one to goto until u get a new place.. Yeah.. U try to make it work then secretly try and save money. Even that doesn't work..
The pain and utter loneliness that lurks behind the denial is excruciating... that is the reason for the denial.
@@joankennes3230 oh God yes. I'm feeling it now. Badly. They left April 23rd. It hurts alot. 13 yrs just gone like that. They go on like nothin happen.
@@daviedood2503 I am so sorry you were not seen, heard or acknowledged for who you were and are. I am so sorry you were not appreciated for your love, commitment, efforts and gratitude. You deserved and deserve all of that! It is your birthright.
@@joankennes3230 oh wow hey thanks Joan! You're a very nice person. :) I try really hard to tell myself that there IS life outside the narcissist. 13 yrs is a long time. Very loyal and dedicated. Telling myself that it's OK to talk to other people now, it's OK to let loose and have fun and be happy. I wish I could just see a hypnotist and have these 13 years erased or pushed soooo far back in my memory, that I don't even think twice about it. Even if I see a trigger I'd just shrug like nothing. I told myself do NOT get attached to her. It's very hard not to after being w them so long. You doing things for them and even them doing things for you. Thoughtful things to keep u hooked. It's also hard to put that label on them. Hurts but I have to stop lying to myself.
Oh my God ... this is me ... my whole family... my whole life ~ hit a major cataclysm of mass, life-heart-wrending shock, confusion yesterday. Huge. This video is the hugest miracle. Just ... thank you
My mom’s codependency with my stepdad ruined her life and I’ve never fully understood it. So glad you put this video out!! Can’t wait to watch it!!
This is what is happening to my mother, and I have no clue how to help her. Every time I say something it’s swept under the rug. “ she doesn’t know anything” is what everyone says to me. So I let it go I care for her but I have to move on with my life. I sent her this I hope she listens if she can’t listen to her own daughter
Thank you very much.. I was not aware that I am having this issue.. My TF ran away because I have abandoned myself.. I forgot about what truly matters.. Now I am stepping into my power and gaining it back as I have realized that this journey is about myself.. The expression of the Divine in me.. I thank you.. O really need this..
I'm on the fence with this one. Maybe Im not a full-blown codependent. I don't need people and don't seek out broken people. My motto is be your own hero and I live by that and tell others to do the same. BUT I do have a fear of abandonment and my childhood was full of emotional and physical neglect and abuse. I grew up early taking adult roles wayy before I should have. Having to cater to my Narcissistic mother's needs. I love helping people but it's not a need and I don't expect a thank you which ends up me being in toxic relationships where they are one sided and not reciprocated. Thank you for the video. I have a lot to think about. And a lot to heal.
Would you say an empathic person without healthy boundaries is codependent? Because I just started my spiritual journey & discovered I'm empathic & this video also helped me realize why I put up with my narcissist husband (whom I'm leaving soon b/c he drained my energy so much I developed manic depression & attempted suicide 2x) but found my power & relearned & learned myself & am stepping into my own💖💪🏾🤗
Surprisingly, from your VDO I have just learned that I am a Codependent with 8 signs you stated. I'm so grateful to your kindness with compassion in putting all valuable information you experienced and researched for us. Many many thanks Christina. I love to listen all your VDO.
Hi Christina, thank you! I just want to add a reason what creates codependecy. In my case and I think in many others as well : besides being neglected the child doesn't get any compliments ONLY when she helps or does sth good for others. I remember that I was thinking all the time what I could do to make my mom happy or to get compliment. Also nothing was good enough for my dad. Even if I did my best: for example very young age I cooked but my dad - not rude but - always found something to criticize.
I was so reluctant to see this video because “I’m not co-dependent” or so I thought I wasn’t. It all makes so much sense to me now. Thank you and now working on regaining all my power back! I’ve learned so much with your videos. Sending you lots of unconditional love with so much gratitude 💕 💕💕✨💫💛
Thanks for enlightening me and giving me some guidance during a difficult time in my life right now. Been in a codependent relationship with an alcoholic/drug addict for 27 yrs. I'm ready to move on 🙏
Christina, I was watching this video to help someone else, and SURPISE, I resonated with so much of it! I'd love to see a video and Motherhood and Codependency!
😮that hit home when you said we help others to make ourselves feel better and that is spot on ..I thought it was a good thing to help others but I do get burnt out and feel lost when on my own .. I save others and I can’t save myself
What surprised me the most was the 10th sign anger. It of course makes perfect sense. I just never made the connection like that. Thank you 🙏🏻
Hey Christina when is your live group meditation I'm waiting for you
Me too
Me, too! ♡
Me 3...been a minute
Yes me too!!!
Same here 🙋🏽♀️
Yess and right before the pisces new moon! I love my fellow water signs, this is a much needed video for ya'll. Oh and Virgos. This video is for everyone but highly recommend for anyone with water placements in their chart. Or healing from psychological abuse.
I struggle with a lot of shame because I can't instantly fix myself from this. I know that's distorted thinking but I needed to express this.
I’m still in the early stages of my awakening, and I feel a lot of ego pushback when learn hard truths about myself, like that I’m codependent.
When I notice this happening, I try to acknowledge it, not judge it, and work with soothing mantras (“This is for my best and highest good.” “Healing is necessary.” “I love and accept all parts of myself.” Etc)
I was definitely codependent but am healing slowly over the past few years.
I am just so grateful for your videos Christina. They always arrive exactly when I'm ready. I have been healing my codependent tenancies for so long and I feel so happy with how far I've come. Your video just helped me break through that next glass ceiling. Gonna drum and dance tonight! ✨🔥✨
Absolutely grateful for being told about your videos. As usual, this one hits the nail on the head and I’m over here going “oof not again.” Here’s to resolving the codependent issues I have been dragging around since childhood. Yay! 😂🤦♀️
I really look forward to your videos! Thank you for bringing your unique approach to this space.
I have been in co-dependent relationships all my life & it's exhausting! My brother & I were raised around drugs & alcohol. I then.met a man when I.was.20 & felt the need to save he & his son & you.know the story & addictions of one form or another....wow! It makes so much sense! Its like we are tidaly locked for 34 yrs & I have been afraid I won't escape & the self.sabotage & lack of self worth
My mother has bpd and she was heavily abused by her mother and it reflected alot in the way shs acted. She hated everything I was into and when I became a vegetarian she refused to cook for me or even try. This video taught me alot thank you.
Hi Christina, I can see a cycle within my family. My mums mum emotionally neglected her was to busy doing her own thing and my mum is a very co dependant person with men she is with, but she’s also quite selfish to this day at 58. She also then done the same to me , emotionally neglected me as a child as she was always busy with other stuff and pleasing other people/her partner. I then realised my first proper relationship I was being co dependant also. But finally I have broke the cycle and now with someone where I don’t feel I always need to help them. He works on himself and I support him, but I’m not holding his hand trying to save him and do everything for him. So glad I broke free from this, unfortunately I don’t think my mum will ever change but I’m glad I have made progress spiritually as I spent time on my own after my first breakup and thought about everything and done a lot of healing and work on myself realising I deserve so much better and to value myself and have a sense of self . X
LOVED this!! Hi, my name is Jim and I’m a recovering codependent!! Lol
Honestly though this is absolutely awesome information and I’d have loved to come across this 3-25 years ago! I still see some of the signs in me but I’m very aware of them and usually catch myself now. Still need work on my sacral though and now have some tools to go get. Thank you so much for your heart Christina, much appreciated!!🙏
I think I got cancer from being a codependent. I had a narc mom and from my earliest memories was only valuable in the family for what I could do for her. It really damaged by self identity. Cancer and almost dying was a real wake up call for me to learn to love and take care of myself.
What surprises me most is that codependency ties into the second chakra, besides the first? Never heard of it before! But maybe it will help to add it into my regimen, though I listen to Hz music for the lower three.
It's fascinating how and why it can manifest in people in several ways. For me, I was raised and conditioned into it. If I didn't do what my mom (grandmother really) wanted, I was threatened and manipulated. I was told that nothing was ever mine. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do that. No good guy would ever want me. Things like, "If you don't do ______, then I'm going to _______" were frequently used. If I wanted to do something for me or didn't want to give something away, I was being selfish and I ought to be ashamed of myself. At 9+, I had to clean part of my aunt's place, take care of her animals, and then 2 years later help with her kid. Later, I had to watch my dad (grandfather), and while I appreciate that time I got to spend with him, I was usually never asked, but told and manipulated.
It's ironic that I don't feel I NEED a boyfriend, for example. Or that though I like spending time around others sometimes, I'm quite happy spending time by myself and thrive, and am then able to be happier around others. There were/are still negative affects though, such as getting into toxic relationships. And in the past, I used to behave like I could fix or help someone, and now I don't even want to try Lol. I've been learning to place boundaries and see red flags beforehand and look at the belief system that was cultivated within me and what I truly feel and believe about myself. I gave my power away because I believed that (you guessed it): I couldn't do this, I couldn't do that, and I must be selfish. Codependency has been my biggest Achilles heel when it comes to family members. It's not a true desire of my own to take care of them, take blame and responsibility, and put up with their crap. But it IS my responsibility to heal that part of me that feels like I have to help them or even say "F it" when they EXPECT it. Now that I'm older, I don't have to agree to it, and can pass their crap right back to them for them to deal with.
Codependency had also seeped into and attracted other undesirable relationships (friendships, dating, etc...).
Thank you for touching down on and exploring this subject in greater depth. What makes healing a little smoother is knowing that it was never my choice to begin with. My mom wanted to control me and make me do what she wanted me to do and she didn't care how I felt or what I really wanted.
Can you please possibly do a video of clients or contributors' success stories, how they dealt with it, and so on. And could you also do one video on the separate functions of the lower three chakras and how they work together. I always thought root was security, base awareness, and tribe. Second was creativity, birth, and sex. And solar plexus is personal power and self esteem.
I know this is a long comment, but I want to thank you for going into it more and providing some unique helpful tips. Much love and gratitude ❤️!
Need to be needed 👉 Self-sacrifice
My needs aren't important
Controling people
Fixer syndrome
Fear of abandonement
Martyr complex ; angry for a lack of appreciation
Externalized power
Relying on people to feel good about yourself
Truly and fully loving yourself (and it has to be energetically and deeply felt from the inside, not just said or acted out - though those are starting points) is when codependency begins to fade away and real connections emerge. It's a gradual process, not a quick fix...but you'll one day begin to love the world and people around you with no underlying agenda for you or them. That kind of healing invites those who truly see you and want you to show it the healthy way and it creates a wonderful balance of giving and receiving in relationships. Thank you, Christina!
wow😂😂😂
We are all codependent on some level of that spectrum. The more awareness we have, the more choice we have to make decisions that enable release this pattern. It just doesn't release one person but others in the relationship as well. I'm a recovering codependent
What a coincidence! I was wanting to ask you how codependents know if they’re following they own joy or others. It’s tough because it brings codependents relief to get other people’s needs get met. So I guess it’s the difference between relief and joy I need to focus on. Thanks so much for this video 🙏
I really surprised when I heard about that I m saving people bcoz of I want to feel worthy ..o my God..I had a hard childhood .I was a parent to my parents Nd my younger bro..I m now 44 and whole life I have been shoulder that other responsibilities on me uncounciously ..it's really shockd me that I never feel wanted or much needed by others.i always feel powerless and drained..
From four years after gone through my dark night of soul period I started doing shadow work and searching for solutions and universe sending me more help. That's magical..I m really improving Nd realising in awareness that where I was doing wrong.thanks to sister ur all videos helping people like us ..and this codependency video is really superb..I was into that codependency traits.felt helpless without others ..I m living alone but I crave for human connection so much and need love.
I m a loving person but some issues I have to clear and heal..
Lots of blessings and love to u with abundance..u really helping this world family collective energy.
I lost my partner's bcoz of this traits.bcoz if I don't value myself how they can? I m learning to feel worthy and valuable plus creating more boundaries and stop people pleasing and saying no when I feel to say without any guilt and other projection on me.
👍👍
Thanks for guidance and kind help.
Prayers and blessings for the collective counciousness.🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️✨😊😊
This video rips with knowledge thank you
Dear Christina
I have had all the signs of co-dependency until I was 47. I then looked for help and there was an enormous change in my life. My marriage really suffered when my behavior changed and I really stopped being co- dependent. I experienced a huge relief in my life. For the first time in my life I could start taking care of myself.
I have done a course on boundaries which has also helped me.
ahhhmazing content! Thank you, thank you Christina! I am super excited to say that often when you launch a new video I find that within my last three days I have already naturally begun practicing the tips you share. Which makes me feel so aligned and having you, someone that inspires me reaffirm it well that is such a beautiful moment. It happens more and more with your lessons and my teachings. I always feel called to make notes of the material you share. Even if it is something I feel I have within, the way your affirmations align with my affirmations it is no surprise to me we are all connected. My soul feels honored to share space with your soul. Truly my soul tribe.
Hi Christina! Thank you for hitting again straight to my pain point!
I have been wondering why I am so readily responding with intention to help others, and why I find myself drained from my energy when I actually start doing it.
What surprised most is that co-dependency is related to the 2nd chakra. This answered many questions for me.
I am also glad to hear that blocking my creativity is a sign of a weakened 2nd chakra (in addition to further weakening it). In fact I fully consciously chose to make this block.
You talked about the dysfunctional family, I believe that emotional support also counts as stepping into a caretaker role, when the child feels it needs to defend one of the parents from the attacks if the other?
I am also relieved to learn that the sense of self worthlessness is an illusion. I see that I don't need to constantly seek ways to be good or need the approval or acceptance of the others in order to feel that I am doing the right thing.
I feel I so much need peace, to be left alone but I am also restless, worried, ashamed and feel guilty for not contributing to the wellbeing of the world.. so I keep getting myself into situations where I want to help someone with something.
I keep falling ill or least, keep getting powerful headaches every few days .. I haven't had a period for many months now... Now I can see that maybe I need to get off this fast moving train, take time and repack my bags then when I feel strong and ready, chose which train I want to get on.
Warm big hug! Thank you
Thank you Thank you 🙏 I did Codependency work years ago, but I find myself back in another relationship where I given my power away. I going to start tonight working with the workbook.
I had no clue I was a codependent, did not know why I felt like misfit and such a people pleaser, disconnected from true intimacy, took me 50+ years to know. Well, I have to get my head out of the past, and live my best years yet! Wow! Somewhat sad to have lived like a little ship on the high seas, no grounding, I am so grateful for you Christina and your perspective, a true breath of FRESH air for the soul!
I am co-dependent and NOW I AM AWARE OF IT .. TAKING STEPS TO HEAL IT... Thank You 😊
I am not a codependent person but I attracted narcissists in my life, It explains now why I was never under their control and why they couldn't abuse me,
well they did in a different way like spreading rumours and all ,there are certain things which I can't torelate no matter what because of my self-respect.
My sister was manipulative and was used to confuse me mentally but never overpowered me as I never gave that power away.Once she became physically abusive,she clutched my hand so tight in anger that it bruised my hand and that was the last day ,i didn't take it any more.
thank you to the people for uploading videos and traits of narcissists,as i didn't know before but recently came to know and got parted from my sister.
well before watching these videos I healed.I found out that I was filled with anger with what she did,and i started living like her ,in rage,and you know those people who laugh all the time from their heart and childish ,well i was that and i knew i shouldn't lose it for anyone.
Then i started thinking from her point of view,even it is distorted that why she was jealous,how unhappy she would be, that didn't mean i ran back to her,i don't talk to her but I wish she remains happy,as I know If I talk to her I will lose my balance.I am in a good place where i want good for her and me,sometimes anger gets provoked when i see her mentally abusing my youngest sister but then i console myself that anger would not let me be peaceful.
And yeah those boys who were narcissists I don't hold at all anger for them as well,one of them took advantage of me when I was drunk,I was just his friend (1 of them),and the friend who took advantage of me spread bad rumours in my office as well,
after a month or so ,I released all the anger as I didn't want to live like them in a state of anger,it's exhausing.I didn't go to any psychiatrist and all ,
i just healed ,1st by becoming as angry as i can,lived in it and then released and then when they pop up in my mind I think good about them,I thought revenge would be fair but nothing is more rewarding then getting healed,only a healed person would understand.
So glad I found your channel. So many videos have helped me and I’m healing and in awareness of so much now. Thank you for your gift
I'm surprised that I've been co-dependent for a long time.
What surprised me the most today through your learning, is that my self worth Resonates within other people outside of myself.
This is so enlightening!!! I wish this was in Spanish so I could share with my mom. I am crying as I write this comment. Thank you so much!!!❤
Just broke up from another codependent relationship. What a perfect timing! Thank you so much ❤️
Sending love your way 🥰
I love her so much, her energy and everything she does to help people is gold ❤️
Hearing hey Christina I really liked hearing about some of the causes of codependency. I think I'm still currently struggling with it. My father passed away at a very early age so taking care of myself fell on my shoulders while my mom worked to keep everything together.
I want to add that a stepping into an adult role as a child doesn’t just create codependency if it happens when you are a small child, like Christina’s example of ages 4-6. It can also happen in your adolescence. For me it was around age 13.
And I wanted to add that I’ve cut many codependent relationships out of my life since beginning my spiritual awakening BUT I’ve noticed that I’m still placing my energy outside of myself… in my PET. So I don’t think these relationships have to be strictly with other people.
Just the fact that you said I have to take my power back… visualizing my power coming back to me has been so healing ❤️🩹 I can’t thank you enough
Wow 😯 you nailed it at age 4 I was taking care of everyone. My father was horribly physically abusive . I had to grow up fast and had no childhood. At age 12 my mom left me literally. She was gone. She was 10 miles away with her high school sweetheart. Drinking every day. Yeah I grew up fast. And this is me. Codependent. Thank you Christina. I’m in therapy now and things are getting better. Your videos help me just so so much. 🌸
As a child I was told I was selfish if I wanted something. Mother encouraged me not to want anything. Great at shaming. Words like swords. Fathers words, never good enough, never be as good as my mother
Spot on, thanks for this moment of clarity
I always find this channel very helpful on my healing journey. From psychology and spirituality points of view, my soul, mind and spirit are being reminded and empowered to be ready the path of recovery. In my case of codep, I grow up with a narcissist mother who completely torn my childhood. That's probably another sign of a codep. Other sign of codep: when everyone says a person is rude/toxic, you still keep contact and excuse his/her mistakes. When I found all my friends and coworkers are needy ppl or narcissist, I know how serious of my codep. Just like addict, codep will go through withdraw and repalse very often through the rehab journey. Need a support group such as this channel. Namaste. Still hope 🦋
ME T OO
What surprised me the most about this video is that you never mentioned the TOXIC AF relationship codependents have with narcissist. Perhaps you can make a part to video about that. But the fact that you left out the sociochopaths (narcs) is probably for the best because they are the creators of codependents (parents, guardians, primary caregivers).
I'm a recovering codependent. I've spent the past 4⃣ years on a conscious journey of healing from self-love deficit disorder.
I'm vigilant of how I interact with people because the tendency to pick up old habits float beneath the surface and we all know that the best way avoid picking up habits we've broken, is to stay away from those who resonate at the frequency of the behavior.
I've been a solid 3️⃣ years feed of people from my past who vibrate at the level of my old conditioning and it's given me opportunity to heal and nurture the love I am rediscovering for myself and reclaim the personal power I was denied ownership of in childhood.
I pray that whoever listed to this video and read this post finds immense healing and release from all codependent relationships in 2021. Peace and God bless🙂
I truly enjoying drinking my morning tea and listening to your vids... In the section on anger when you went to black et white realization...when co-dependents are questioned... I laughed quite a bit... Great video... I've never had it explained in such a succinct way before. 🤔👍😍☕❤️
We need to remind ourselves that we were NOT meant to be perfect!!! It's OKAY to feel emotions, we CAN NOT be in control of everything. Life will go on.
I show not all 10signs but I know that I'm codependent .In fact since last 2 months have been wanting to change and believe me led to these videos .thankyou
Saying that this is life changing is an understatement.. God..
I laughed hard on my self when you said "DID THAT PERSON ASK YOU FOR YOUR HELP" oh lord😂😂😭🤣🤣
Thank you, Christina! What I found surprising is that in some of the characteristics of codependency, I mistook it as being nurturing. However, I have to completely reasonate in my spirit with what you expressed and I have some work to do. I am lovingly calling my power back and THIS TIME, I'll know how to keep it with Me. Thank you so much for this wisdom, Goddess! Blessings and Light!
This is the first time I have heard this explanation ! I was that child and still am. OMG what a lightbulb moment! Having the responsibility of a parent as a child because nobody else could do it. Feeling your power being drained from you by toxic people, wow.
I knew it was happening but did not understand why.
O MY GOD 100% ACCURATE!!! YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT ME TODAY!