As someone who struggled hard with alcohol for 20 years, but stopped 2 years ago, I'm proud of you, kid. And glad you caught and killed the habit early.
Addiction is so difficult, it's literally hacking into the part of your mind that decides what you like doing. It doesn't even feel fulfilling to break the habit. you have to just keep even though it doesn't feel like you want to. good job to anyone who does it.
i’m sorry for all these younger people in your comments not understand and taking this as a joke in some way. stay strong it will be worth in the end !
I hesitated a lot before doing it. I spent a long while bargaining with myself that I should keep it, and that a little bit of alcohol now and then is okay. But ultimately I decided just do it, throw it away. On a whim, just like how I started. I'm happier without alcohol!
yo, you're literally so brave for taking this step and deciding to stop drinking alcohol. Fighting against an addiction is really really hard but you decided to do it anyways, You're amazing. Recovery is hard but we are rooting for you, wishing you the best. ♡
For updates since the end of this video. Hit 'see more' to read. Putting this section up here to block off spoilers so you can enjoy the first 30 days first :) - - - 9/3/2022: Day 75 CRAVINGS ARE REALLY STRONG WHY AM I DOING THIS UGGGHHH I really can't stand addiction 21/1/2022: Day 27 I relapsed for most of December (I began slowly drinking again mid November?). Well, same thing. Stress. There's not much to say but I've been clean again. I didn't really want to put out an update about it out of... embarrassment? Shame? I guess? Quitting again was the usual and still, it wasn't too bad! I'm way over cravings and don't feel like drinking at all. But boy when you're in it, it's hard to get out. I relapsed for longer than my first relapse too. But hey! It's been a year since I've tried going sober and I'm glad for most of the year, I have been. The second relapse was also a little interesting? I could feel my skin condition get worse during the month, other than my wallet getting set ablaze. Also I broke my phone again while drunk... I guess that's another thing to add to the list of broken stuff because of drinking... I hope to be able to find a better way to relieve my stress. I should probably see a therapist. But still, happy 1 year sober! It's my birthday again! 25/9/2021: Day 133 I've beaten my old streak of 123 days! I decided to go on a break from youtube for a bit, the stress was too much. Maybe youtube full time isn't for me, there's a lot of uncertainty and worry... I don't think I'll ever be able to understand how people enjoy self-employment or managing their own business... Although, my break has been going well and I've never felt so relieved before. But I dread coming back, I don't want to start thinking all over again. Stress seems to be at its peak at around 120 days sober, it's very possible that I still have no stress coping methods and 120 days is the roughly how long I can last before burning out. 23/8/2021: Day 100 I'm better at managing stress now. I feel a lot better. Tzechi has gone to the (mandatory country) military so I have more time right now. When I get really bored I think "man, no wonder I was an alcoholic". 14/6/2021: Day 30 Still here. Cravings aren't as intense anymore. Just like before. It's gotten way easier than the first 30 days to be honest. I barely even think about drinking. Plus, when even when I have the slightest thought about it, it's a definitely hard NO than before which was 'welllll I can't drink because I'll be spending money!'. Yeah that was the main reason back then. Now it's cause I know for sure that I can't drink at all. Though, maybe it'll get hard again like on the 4th month or the 7 or 8th month. 29/5/2021: Day 14 so I messed up and started drinking on day 124. I kept at that for two weeks. Well I couldn't take the overwhelming stress and anxiety I felt at the time so I had a beer. After that I was like 'hey, I can drink light and its perfectly fine' except that it wasn't. After that I progressively began drinking more and more and I basically ended up at where I used to be. At that point I realized that well, I'm not a casual drinker at all, I really was right when I said that I would just spiral at first in this video. So now I'm back to not drinking, and I know that this time I can't go back, I really am not like other people. Quitting for the second time was a lot harder than the first, despite only drinking for two weeks, I had full blown cravings all over again like I was back at square one. The cravings were worse too, so I guess that's what they meant when they said that its harder to try again the more and more times you fail. It was a really hopeless feeling and the one thing that made it the hardest was the fact that I now knew that I can't drink. Forever. It was a difficult thing to accept. But hey, I'm still here. The cravings mostly went away after a week just like in this video. Well aw, I want to hit the one year mark as soon as possible but I've reset the counter. Oh well! 20/4/2021: Day 123 I'm still here. Life goes by as usual. Though I wonder if quitting alcohol truly did make me feel better. I've been feeling down a lot lately, it might have not been the alcohol that made me feel depressed but I just already am kinda depressed. I'll wait and see if this is a persistent feeling. I don't really think about drinking normally. Though as I type this, I want to say 'who cares' and drink. I want to relax. I don't feel very nice but I'm sure if I did drink, I'd just feel worse 19/3/2021: Day 91: I'm still here! Somehow, the cravings are gone. I barely even think about this. I wonder if it'll come back, I'm too busy doing other things to uh, well, even think about alcohol. Especially the thought of spending money on it. Alcohol is a waste of money. 28/2/2021: Day 72 I'm a little late. I'm not sure if I'll keep doing every 10 days updates, but this thread keeps me going too. Ive been forgetting about days and forget updating my diary lately. A little busy. But the past week has been the most difficult since I've started. I've been craving drinking every night or so but this thread is what I think about to stop them. tzechi ordered some draught beer the other day. I didn't drink any. It was tempting for a bit of a buzz, but I've quit. It's hard... I don't want to do this anymore but I'm staying 15/2/2021: Day 60 I've gone through a couple of situations where I thought to myself "well, this would be a lot more fun or better if I was drunk" especially the times when I use alcohol as a crutch or a solution (e.g. being affectionate to tzechi). I'll learn... I'll learn how to be like that myself but that's such a huge personal change and there's deep problems in it, it's tough. Really goes to show that alcohol is a band-aid solution. Still not gonna drink though! I don't miss it THAT much. I don't crave it. 31/1/2021: Day 45 I'm still holding on strong! I've decided to take another month or two (heck, maybe even half a year) focusing on youtube. I've realised there's still so much more I want to do on this platform and well, it might fuck up the rest of my life in job progression when I do get a job but this is something I don't want to regret not have done. I'm happy now and that's all that matters. I won't regret this because I always do what I think is best for me at any moment :D Stay good everyone!
You're already more successful than most people will ever be on this platform. You've earned it. Why not keep going? Why not try to hit a million? You can stream as well if you don't already. I'm rooting for you.
My advice is coming from a 32 year old with a normal job and a normal life. I just quit my job last week to do what I said I wanted to do 7 years ago: create a full-time online business that will allow me to travel the world. You have two of the most powerful tools right now. Youth and time. With these, you can do a lot. Shoot for the moon!
you really can't tell someone has problems by watching their youtube persona, this video proves that, and i hope everyone remembers this is a real person making the video.
I guess this is the part where I have to represent a biig part of your "underage" fans. Some people are clowning on us but I'm 15 years old and I was so moved at the end. Your dedication to this is amazing and I hope you can keep it up. Coming from a family with some alcohol problems (Dad, brother, Mom sometimes too) I truly wish you the best. If anyone is reading this Alcohol is a drug and you should quit today.
Coffee is a drug, soda is a drug, candy is a drug, turkey on thanksgiving is a drug That’s why if you eat a bunch you pass out it’s because of all the tryptophan in it. look at the definition of drug. Drugs aren’t necessarily bad. It’s fine to have fun in moderation as an adult. The problem is when it’s a problem. Obviously, you should stay away from them when your brain is developing. Obviously, you shouldn’t do these things until you are addicted or if you have an addictive personality or mental health issues. I would say the bigger problem is that cigarettes, meth, heroin, liquor or beer are actually poisons not just that they are drugs. Are you going to judge me because I take pills for my depression are those bad just because they are drugs? are pills that save someone from getting a heart attack bad? Are you going to judge someone for taking cancer drugs? These are all drugs, drugs can do good things or bad things just like any other thing on the earth don’t look at things as black and white.
Whenever I saw your stuff online i would think to myself "wow, this person is the same age as me and yet they are so on top of their life, why can't i be like that?" This video has not only helped me realise that the people i see online who seem so on top of their lives might not always actually be that way, its all just how we present ourselves you know? It's also somehow made me want to make changes in my own life, Ive struggled with addiction all my life in different ways, whether its friends, family or myself and seeing that so often has an impact i never thought about. I don't have any traditional addictions anymore, maybe nictoine but that doesn't debilitate me, but i do have an addiction to doing nothing. Staying in bed all day, watching youtube. As i write this im still in bed and i have been since i woke up 4 hours ago. Im going to get up now, clean my room and hopefully start focusing on what i need to focus on. It feels weird to say this but, thank you.
Actually I have the same feelings. I'll be 20 this year and this video made me realize a lot of things that I want to change. For example I sometimes spend times by doing nothin like you but also spending times on my computer but too much time. Sometimes I wake up at 1pm, eat and directly go on my computer and I stay until I sleep around 4am. So yeah... Thank you Tokaku
As a 4 year smoker and a 6 month quiter. Nicotine creates a Pay wall behind the feeling of relaxation. Its dumb. It made me angry and uncomfortable when i wasn't having a smoke every 30mins. Paying attention was almost impossible. Cold turkey it. You can do it. Use the next quarantine to not go outside. It really gets better after 3 days. If you ever try. You can do it you really can. And if you fail. You fail but you have to try again and mean it each time you try.
"But am I going to drink tomorrow? No, I'm not. I'm busy tomorrow." A very brave and relatable video, even outside the alcoholism. Well done and congrats.
i struggled with alcohol for 4 years, it was so hard to get clean with how normalized it was for people to drink. it's so hard to go through this. i'm not a huge fan or anything, but i've been watching your videos on and off for years now and i'm so proud of you for realizing this is a problem at a young age, and i'm really happy you were able to make it through this. thank you for sharing this. some young people don't even see this as a problem. thank you again for doing this
I'm glad you realized the problem, took yourself by the collar, and challenged yourself to fix it this early on in your life. I started drinking heavily early on in my teens and struggled with alcoholism for over 11 years. It's a bad and expensive habit that doesn't lead to anything other than temporary "drowning" of feelings and responsibilities. You're not alone in this and you have a community that supports you. Very proud of you.
This honestly makes me pretty proud of you. My dad was (and still is) an alcoholic so I've seen how it can negatively affect people. For those of you who don't know it's not pretty, he was violent and could never be reasoned with. Because of him I've sworn to never drink alcohol in my life, and I try to help some of my friends who are alcoholics to at least cut down on the amount they drink. Seeing you take on the initiative to better yourself isn't just good for you, but for your audience. You will, or probably already have, inspired people to finally face the problem head on. This is what a good content creator looks like, and I wish many more would learn from this. Again thank you for making this change, I, and many others, appreciate it
Hey. I'm on day 6 without a drink right now. Just wanted to let you know this video was, in large part, the reason I ever got to day 1, and wanted to thank you for it. Let's hope I'll make it as far as you did. ^^
Quitting stuff that you’re addicted to is a pain in the ass, but after you quit it and look back it’s kinda rewarding, I somehow managed to quit smoking a while back now I’ll try to quit drinking. Good job quitting alcohol doe.
not gonna lie this is so inspirational, getting off an addiction is hard and I know what im talking about. I’m 16 and I’m struggling with a smoking addiction. You’re the one who got me into rhythm games a long time ago and now you’re the one who inspired me to try to stop this smoking addiction. I’m taking the challenge maybe it will have some good results. Stay strong!
Dont worry dude you can quit somking if you want it. I smoked over 15 yeahrs and form one day of the other (even without a real reason) i quit. Im ex smoker no for over 2 yeahrs plus and i dont even think about smoking again. The first 3-7 days of quiting are the hardes but after that its getting better and better.
I started smoking at that age too, still addicted to vaping but quit while you can! My armchair advice is to find 2-3 days where you have nothing due at school (easier said than done i know) and fake an illness. you can just stay in bed and enjoy eating and shit.
@@TrickZ_Retz I know all about it man. Ive been smoking to long not to and I have family all in the medical field always giving me shit. I picked up the habit about 14 years ago. Is it something I could eventually quit sure, but I have tried so many times. So at this present moment in time its not gonna really happen.
Alcohol killed my father, my mom's father and mother... And almost took my mother from me. The ones who aren't dead, yet, are still very addicted or fully recovered. It's all fun and games until your health really takes a wrong turn. Think about your health please. I struggle myself with completely putting down alcohol, I occasionally drink.. it's my next goal. WE can do this :)
I completely understand your struggle, although I’m not an alcoholic. I have major depressive disorder, and coming back to life is kind of hard. I feel stuck in having no goals, friends, or taking care of my responsibilities. I’m fighting everyday to be a better person, take care of my chores, reconnect to old friends, and write a story for a video game I want to make. It’s hard. Don’t give up.
Just wanted to say I related to your post. Depression sucks and I’m currently going through the same process of not having any goals and just feeling like shit everyday. I sometimes don’t talk to my friends either because of it. It really does feel like you’re stuck, unable to climb up from a hole. Anyway, excuse my rant, cheers and hope things get better for both of us!
Rooting for you man💚 I don't have any diagnosed disorder but I had some periods in my life when I felt extremely depressed or had low self worth Im 17 years old and Im also an aspiring gamedeveloper. And I feel pretty stressed because im not doing good at school(online learning sucks I pay 0 attention) and Im just focused on making my portfolio. Because of the quarantine I played too much and watched too much anime before 2021 so when I limited the escapism I feel more and more stressed sometimes, I don't know if I can make it. And yeah overall the quarantine makes everything extremely boring, and since I don't have any friends around besides Discord calls I just dont meet people. Damn I even feel like drinking now /: Btw if you're interested twitter.com/HyperLemonPL Ive been working on my main project for like a year now and its getting more and more complex and Im losing my creative juices sometimes as well Ive been burntout for September to December 2020 And at a similar time as you I actually just went like "Yeah lets get some habits like drinking more water, actually working on my project atleast a little, going for a walk or even running and learning Japanese" and I mostly keep them to this day
@@hyperkun Hey you're young so try not to worry to much alright. Just some random internet advice but try to keep doing what you're doing which is building your portfolio alright. At the worst case, you may need to wait for covid to be over if you really struggle hard with online learning. But if that is the case try your best to keep coding and learning everyday :)
This is actually so inspiring. Im 16 and I struggle with an eating disorder and im going to make a change. This vid really REALLY made me realize that I have to make a change. Eating shouldnt have been a problem in the first place. im prolly jus gonna play some diva or muse dash to keep my mind off food lmao. I hope u keep it up and your doing great frfr. U got this (:
Well, The Algorhithm reccomending me this after having finished like a third of a bottle of whiskey the evening before, hmm... I recommend You for your persistence, for me, it has become progressively worse over the last eight years, Im 26. Mainly because I don‘t really care about me or my health, because of loneliness and just feeling worthless. But maybe its time to reconsider.
this is what made me question so much when I was quitting. I didn't decide on any good reason other than 'maybe I should stop' I knew I should stop. I knew the downsides. But a part of me knew, maybe I could just live with them. Maybe start at a whim like I did and figure it out while you keep trying!
I'm convinced there's something that makes quitting worth it for u. Once u quit alcohol, I'm sure u can learn to appreciate urself or find something you're really passionate about, which makes that new lifestyle worth it. Wish u the best
@@Datha164d Thank You very much! I do feel really down at times, but I realized it is often due to hangover, I will try to do it differently and hopefully it is as You say, nevertheless thank You!
Watching this made me cry, watching you I never thought you drank. I stopped drinking a few years ago cause I wanted to get my shit together and become a better person. With this pandemic my mental health has been deteriorating and I've been wanting to go back, watching you pour out the alcohol was so powerful. Thank you for helping me realise to keep going. You are an extremely strong person in our eyes, thank you for sharing this journey with us. Please stay strong and keep going! We believe in you.
"I'm too busy to feel down" man that quote hits way too hard, sometimes when I have nothing to do I just think about my life and realize that I'm not really happy deep down, and I don't know what to do in order to feel happy
When you said you didn't think your demographic would be dealing with any addiction at all, I had to disagree. There are so many people I know who are in their early 20s who suffer from all kinds of alcohol and drug abuse. That's why I think it's so awesome you made this video and provided your audience with this space to be open and honest.
Im having my exams in just a month and i havent really even started to do the revisions that should be done within last yr holy shit i realised i had wasted a whole year addicted to games and stuff ... after watching this video i felt kinda determined idk why imma try my best for my spm exam although its quite hard for me to throw my games away ... its day 2 so i think im doing it like a month challenge thing same like yours... thanks for inspiring me for this and ur becoming someone like one of ur fren that inspired you to do this challenge!! Ur actually starting to inspire other people too! Ur making the world a better place.. Stay determined and we will archive our goals
Firstly, we should all give a round of applause to tokaku for quiting her addiciton. Secondly, if anyone is addicted to anything, they should see a doctor or any sort of therapist that can help you get over your addiction, or you can try this challenge. Thirdly, the people that gave this video dislikes, bruh why??? (good job tokaku!!!)
Not the sort of video I expected from this channel but it’s great to see. It’s hard to put yourself out here like this. Or at least it would be really hard for me. I put out videos sometimes and unlist them immediately because I get embarrassed or shy about something in them. You didn’t have to make this video but I think we can all connect with and understand each other a little bit better because you did, and I have a lot of respect for that. Congrats on the 30 days!
From what i've learned with with getting your life together, is that there will be a relapse. I don't say this to demotivate, and everyone's different so it might not happen for you, but if relapse comes, you've got to be ready to forgive yourself and get back on track. Granted I don't have an alcohol addiction, but a lot about your life and what you said hits close to home. in the process of getting my life back on track, I've slipped into old habits, and undone progress, and the first time this happens can really hurt you and your progress, not because you slipped into that old habit but because you don't know how to handle it. If you relapse, you got to acknowledge and forgive and try to get back up on your feet as quick as you can. Good luck
I occasionally come to this video when I'm down, and honestly this video (and, in general, stopping a bad habit for a month) is really inspiring. i find this to be the best video of yours. stay strong tokaku
Honestly, I never actually knew this was going on in your personal life. It just goes to show that there's a lot going on in a person's background than what you think, even as somebody with influencer status. As someone who only a couple months ago kicked their drinking addiction, I'm seriously proud of you for detecting a habit and killing it early. It's painful, difficult, and it takes a completely different mindset, but the reward in a couple months is unfathomable
to be honest, it really takes up a lot of courage to stop drinking, as i was also once a drinker like her, and im also around her age so... to be able to stay away from all those temptations and all the influences, that's a big step. Especially at the ending where she pour all the alcohol away, i have never thought that people would be pouring them away, knowing that they are so expensive... This video is really something i would recommend people to watch if he/she is a alcohol addict and want to stop. Thanks for all the great video so far and keep up the good job!
@@naxzed_it the taste, it doesn’t have to specifically be addictive to get addicted, it’s about having something a lot will make your brain want that thing more because life isn’t normal without it and your brain hates change
Hello guys im just gonna tell you right now my life did a full 180 when i quit drinking any sweet drinks all together and started working out. I would say i might not even be here anymore if i hadnt done it, but seriously it was such a challenging thing to do. Trust me it gets wayy easier after 1 or 2 months, and now its been almost 2 years since i have drank anything sweet, i almost dont even remember the taste of coca cola anymore lol. Of course not drinking anything sweet wasnt the only thing i did aswell, i also had alot of other improvements
This is really insipring! I'll put myself up to the challenge as well, I have been falling down a depressive hole with my own heavy drinking. Keep it up!
@@tia5532 Believe me, don't even try to drink moderately, people say that it's healthy to drink low amounts but there is NO point in drinking, no point. It brings so much evil and sadness to this world
I know it's hard feeling like you NEED to decide something by the end of 30 days, but, in fact, you don't. The "I'll do it later" or "I can do it later" technique is used a lot by ppl to get rid of addictions. Is thinking one day at a time. It's not "I won't drink anymore" because thinking too much ahead might just bring a streak of anxiety bc you really dont know what's going on tomorrow. That's why people usually say "I'm not drinking today". You are allowed to take easy on yourself and not push those big decisions when you dont know how to make them. Anyway, I just wanted to tell how amazing you were. This was, indeed, a big challenge and you went through it perfectly. Not in the way of "it was easy" but exactly because it wasn't easy at all. You went through all ups and downs and there you were, tossing all the alcohol down the sink two years after drinking yourself into sadness on your 18th birthday. It was the surprise I didn't knew I needed so bad. Tokaku, you are fantastic. I'm no one, but I'm still crazily proud of you. You won over those bottles and I only wish you the best. Take care.
Bruh, the part at the end where she poured out her bottles into the sink had me welling up. I've not seen any of her videos before but I cant help feeling so proud of her 😢
honestly this felt like watching a movie, full of inspiration of to stop my own bad habits and have control in my life. when you poured away the alcohols at the end it made me feel so emotional and look back at my own past. thank you for this wonderful video.
"... I'm gonna be busy for the rest of my life." That's amazing, I've only started to watch you recently, but I'm so happy you were able to do this for yourself.
aw, that's the highest form of compliment a content creator can get on a video! I'm so happy that this video is engaging, inspiring and useful to you and others :D
Holy wasn’t expecting a vid like this, my drinking habits were so bad when I was in the military a year ago, I took a 8 months break from drinking before picking it back up again and now I’m so lightweight I can’t drink as much lol! Keep up the great work!
My dad died of alcohol when he was 50 it fucked up his body and ended up unconscious in his blood in his room, a friend of his found him there and an ambulance took him to the hospital but the damage was already done and died there. I hope that you’ll succeed at bringing that habit down, even if you relapse, by trying to stop you’ve made the first step to healing :)
I had a point in my life where i also drinked a lot, i drank every day and was every day wasted. I just told myself to stop and did cold turkey, i still want to drink to this day but i keep fighting against it. I hope that everyone that has a problem can do something against it.
I’m honestly so proud of you! I don’t much about anything about addiction, but I’m so happy to see you well. I watched every second of the video and seeing you improve was motivating.
Damn, It really hits differently when you see the actual human behind the youtube channel. Great work on going sober and keep it up! I quit drinking (except for special occasions eg new years)a few years back and have never regretted it :D
i quit drinking too around 8 months ago and it's so .... personal being able to relate with one's experiences so much. you are so so so so strong and i'm so proud of you. this was an incredible watch. 💖
Seeing a new tokaku upload, I wasn't expected something emotional, but this video has moved me greatly. With my dad passing away due to alcoholism a year ago, I expected your experience to hit close to home, but never how I would've thought. Although I'm still young and have very little to worry about, you've given me a motivation I havent felt in a very, very long time. Seeing someone who I viewed as a real person, not just some internet personality, better themselves and find their way into "real life", truly gave me a feeling of hope. Seeing someone make an effort to become sober and benefit as a person after I've seen the the immense difficulties myself, makes me feel less hopeless about my future. After watching this, I feel like I can turn my life around, succeed, and make my dad proud. I'm sure your journey has not only impacted me, but many others, and I wish you the best of luck this year on your journey Jolene.
I found your channel a week or two ago from a UA-cam sidebar recommendation. It was for a pro quality controller for a game I've never played. But I ended up watching all of it because you're a good content creator and I was like well, I'll never buy this nor do I play rhythm games. But I wanted to see more of your content. So I went your other videos and watched a few more and now I'm subscribed. And one of the first things I do when I find a new creator on here. I start devouring past videos I just watched this one and let me tell you, GOOD JOB! I'm 35 and quit drinking about 4 years ago. When I was 21, I was already a full blown alcoholic from the age of 17 and using other drugs with it. I never even had a want or need to quit. Hell, I use to always say to people quitting is for losers and you only have one life so why not waste it staring down the end of an bottle. So. once again what you did was hard and took some work and I don't know if you're still sober or maybe started again but now you're conscious of what it does and not to be binge drinking every day of the week. Keep on producing and making content, you're really good at it and I look forward to watching all of your backlog and new videos as well. Sending a big ol high five from California!
What an absolutely incredible video. This really hit me in a lot of ways, honestly. I grew up with an alcoholic mother, and for the longest time, it just felt like watching her go through a battle that I didn't know if she could win, but I knew I couldn't give up on her. Finally, after hitting rock bottom and almost dying, she decided to get sober, and now has been for 7-8 years. I can't remember which it is off the top of my head because it just feels like the new normal now. My mom used to drink an entire large bottle of Skyy Vodka a day, and now she hasn't touched a drink since the day she almost died and her and everyone around her can agree that she is a much better person now for it. Another way this really kinda hit me was it made me kinda realize a lot of the problems with my life. I really need to start working out and eating better. I'm at a pretty unhealthy weight, and I know that I really need to do something about it because I know my health is at risk. After sitting through this whole video, it feels really motivating seeing how even through the many points you struggled, you still came out on top. This is my favorite video you've ever made, and I'm glad that I watched through to the end, hoenstly I was pretty glued to the screen from start to finish, so thank you, and I'm really proud of you that you were able to accomplish this amazing goal. Here's to many more months, and hopefully years to come!
This is by far your best video. Im a heavy smoker, i doubt your video will make quit smoking but its nice to see that one of my fav youtubers is a real person i can actually connect to. I dont mind my smoking, but it fucking drains my money away and i really dont have much money to spare. Edit: quit smoking.
same here, very proud she is able to stop addiction I also smoke but don't mind it except the issue you mentioned lol, but probably because I don't do it too often :p
@@macbook8738 im smoke around pack a day, i try hard not to go over that. Started easy at age of 14, now that im 23 sometimes i have trouble paying rent and i ditch food all the time in favour of tobacco thinking i save money on food by not eating hahah
@@becharac yeah dude, it's too far when you use rent money for smokes, try buying less. I'm 16 right now so it's not like I have easy access to it for better or worse lol, my strategy when I want to take tobacco break is use the money on other stuff asap, in your case food (and keep money for rent obviously) so you don't got any money to spend on cigarettes. Good luck, personally I think a few once in a while is good for me cause it's a great stress killer, but it's easy to get addicted, I've been addicted before (something called snus, tobacco product in Scandinavia) and its a pain. Great that you don't go over a pack though, but it depends on your body, I think if I smoked pack a day I'd die lol
@@macbook8738 nah man, ull only get more addicted, trust me we all start the same way. If you dont want to end up smoking pack a day, i advise you to stop now xd
Despite not being an alcoholic, watching this video has made me want to relook into my current life and improve myself. Thanks tokaku! Wish you all the best in keeping up at your goals as well!
Aye man have the utmost respect for you for the end of fucking time for this video, doing sum like this bro takes like BALLS and solid ass commitment, alcoholism is hard to break bro and definitely when alot of your finances are going towards that along with other stuff bro like dude it's not easy bro keep it the fuck up and I'm pretty damn sure you have man. Also ending this comment at the part about twitter.....yes Twitter is a fucking toxic wasteland
Facts, I got a grip but when I was young I had a period of severe depression and drinking became my crutch. Its just hard man. Great job she did and good on you for recognizing how much of an accomplishment it is.
Just really wanna thank you for posting this, my current drinking habits are about the same as yours were at the beginning of this video, and this is what I needed to get myself to try and make a change, I hope you stay strong and it’s day 1 for me, wish me luck!
i can relate to this so much. Of course i’m a minor so i obviously can’t drink alcohol but i’ve been living alone after a family tragedy and been suffering from depression and ptsd. this video helped motivate me to persevere no matter how shitty my situation is. Thank you for taking on such a challenge to fight addiction.
I have no idea who you are, this is the first video of urs that I have seen, and I have some things to say. I am going through some struggles that have to do with quitting alcohol and marijuana and I can relate to you completely. I think its so impressive that you can talk to the camera about ur problems and it flows so well out of you. It's like you are giving urself a therapy session. You are a very aware person, you can point out was is going on with ur emotions and ask urself questions about them. I don't know I think that is really cool. I admire you for that completely.
re watching this video after two years as I struggle to battle with my own addictions. Everything you're going through is very relatable and honestly motivates me to continue on my own journey.
This was a video that I have postponed to watch for the last 4 months ever since it got released. Back on the day of release, after I had seen the first 5 minutes, I knew this video was going to be deep and that I had to find some day to actually sit down and watch this video. 4 months later and I finally managed to watch this. This video was really emotional, especially the last bit kinda tore at me. I feel like you made some really sensible points in this video and it was really powerful to see you go through this journey. Before commenting this I first decided to scroll through some comments and I'm really sad to read that you've fallen back. I hope this time you can overcome it for good and I wish you all the best of luck with that. I also hope you are soon able to overcome your feelings of depression too. I really wish you the best on this journey and thank you for this amazing video!
I very much understand people not being able to escape alcohol, but going out of your way and fixing that problem is honestly really inspirational. Stay safe everyone
I didn't even know that she was an acholic but hearing this made me really proud of her and I think being able to do something as hard as this is good and these types of videos are really cool too like just you vlogging I guess? Idk but good job on the 30 days
i’ve struggled with self harm and drug addiction in the past and have been sober from hard drugs for about 2 months and self harm for 7 months. you’ve got this. we’ve all got this and will make it through this.
Respect. It takes balls to make such a video and to be so honest with one's self, you have all of my support in deciding to quit alcohol! I myself am 21 and have had some problems with addiction, be it getting wasted with my friends every Saturday night (basically all I could look forward the whole week), or periods where I'd go out of my way to always be able to smoke at least a joint every night, I feel the struggle! Been there with a couple of different things, quitting or regulation always, always helps in the long run, puts you at peace with yourself and allows for improvement, really excellent video diary, such an interesting watch♥️ I wish you all the best, seriously
I’m actually so proud of you! I saw this on my recommended and I watched the whole way through. And the ending was so nice! On your birthday pouring out the alcohol. And how you said you’ll be too busy for alcohol your entire life. I hope it goes good!
The bit at 10:00 to 10:40 really resonated with me. It's so hard to get sober when being drunk has become such a normality for 5 years. You get sober for 2-3 days then start to think what's the point and just start drinking again. Apparently you have to stay sober for quite a while to feel the benefits, which makes it so hard to feel like it's worth it when you don't even remember what being sober for more than 2 weeks even feels like. Might as well stay drunk, endless vicious cycle. So sick of it. Hopefully your vid gives me some inspiration, thanks. And good luck with your journey.
Saw this in my recommended, Jolene I'm so proud of you! I knew when we used to talk a lot that you had some kind of issue with drinking so it's amazing to see you stick through with this!!
I’m really glad to see that you’re trying to make yourself better for us. As someone who used to have a self harm problem, I can tell you that it’s a great feeling once you’re able to stop for the long run. Good luck, we all believe in you!
“I’m not depressed”, gives the definition of being depressed. I’m so proud of you, but you don’t have to be depressed all the time to be depressed. Being depressed is not just a permanent condition. doing things like quitting drinking or smoking can definitely lead to depression while you quit. It takes a lot to convince yourself you don’t need something and it takes a lot to convince yourself to stop doing something that made you fit in or helped you have fun or feel good when without it you wouldn’t necessarily be feeling that way. The difference between clinical depression, and the emotion of depression from what I understand is when you have clinical depression there’s not a stimulus making you depressed but when you are depressed and it’s an emotion, it’s a reaction something is happening in your life that is making you feel this way. You’re doing great I love your videos and you’re so talented. Don’t waste your life on alcohol. I watched my dad waste years of his life if there’s any wisdom I can give it’s just not worth it and if you think you’re not affecting the people you love, you are, you just don’t remember. Same goes for cigarettes, and what you’re describing with cigarettes is called an oral fixation. You should start replacing the fixations you have with alcohol and cigarettes with some thing it will make it way easier to not drink or not smoke .
I never comment on videos really, but I just wanted to say that the end of this video made me smile. I only found out about this channel today and despite me not knowing you i'm really proud of you. I'm glad you reached your goal!
this feels like what it should've felt like when i watch those "educational" videos. seriously tho, this is literally me when i try to become a better person. this doesn't feel like a movie, it's more like a reflection of myself. i don't drink alcohol, 'cuz i don't see the reason to. i just feel like i want to feel better when everything is as good as can be. and i agree with you about "haters". i always feel like everytime i make even a tiny mistake, everything will go bad and i will be hated for the rest of my life. even now as i'm writing this comment. and those voices in your head asking "why bother"? those are the worst. it always cancels out everything that you tried to do. and only at these days that i feel happy with my decisions. most of the time, i feel like i could have done better. and i want to say thanks for uploading this video.
I'm glad you found it really relatable! Well, a week after day 7, I looked back at day 7 (when I spoke about haters) and saw it a bit differently. I guess, at the time I was anxious, like I always had been. "What will people who don't like me think of me?" It mattered a lot. Just like how I would judge people I don't like when they were having their downs, I didn't want the same done to myself. What happened was that I realised that even if the people I didn't like were going through a good period, I'd try to find some other excuse that they were terrible. I don't do that anymore, it's a waste of thought. I started reading philosophy for fun. I'm reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius right now and Marcus is quite into the stoic mindset. You can only control your thoughts and mind and actions. You can't change what people think, even if you were to try speaking to them. You can't even control your body, accidents happen. You can't control bad luck or situations. In the end, like even as I said at the time, I don't need to prove myself to the people I don't like. They don't matter (as cliche as that sounds). I'm not going to live my life dictated to the thoughts of these people, when the only person who controls my actions is me.
This is one of my favorite videos on UA-cam (I've watched it four or five times in the past two years, when it first came out), as it shows growth like no other, while documented really well. Props to you Tokaku, and RIP my comment is so late.
That's the thing... she looks so young, 25 tops so it's kind of mind boggling but it's entirely possible, it's great she's withdrawing now because it just gets worse as time goes by Edit:She's 20, holy shit, im so happy for her
If you're curious, all the footage for the videos added up to 31GB and the video itself is 4.5GB
that wont fit on my current pc storage
did u edit it yourself? whoever edited it is awesome
My pc can handle that
Nice thumbnail, My comrade.
oml that’s a big video
As someone who struggled hard with alcohol for 20 years, but stopped 2 years ago, I'm proud of you, kid. And glad you caught and killed the habit early.
how did you start?
@@qwgyudwq4484 by drinking
@@TheReal99Gamer haha
@@TheReal99Gamer dude no way!! thats what i thought too!!!
im 999 like haha XD
Lot of people can't do that and fail losing alcoholism. But a 21 year old girl does it all by herself. I'm proud of you Tokaku. We all proud of you.
*woman
@@corwintipper7317 I'm sorry that my broken English ruined the speech.
don’t worry it's just a different ideas of the age of majority
@@corwintipper7317 In my language girl can be anything from 12yrs to 50yrs
@@HexaHvH I'm 51
Addiction is so difficult, it's literally hacking into the part of your mind that decides what you like doing. It doesn't even feel fulfilling to break the habit. you have to just keep even though it doesn't feel like you want to. good job to anyone who does it.
yea bro stop
I’m addicted to clicking circles
Yea bro stop, hecking is bad
i’m sorry for all these younger people in your comments not understand and taking this as a joke in some way.
stay strong it will be worth in the end !
yes
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
at the end when she was dumping vodka with no remorse or hesitation, i just felt happy for her and that made my night. thanks, tokaku.
I hesitated a lot before doing it. I spent a long while bargaining with myself that I should keep it, and that a little bit of alcohol now and then is okay. But ultimately I decided just do it, throw it away. On a whim, just like how I started. I'm happier without alcohol!
Pog
@@tokaku i am very glad that you're happy now, keep up the good work and stay healthy!
@@tokaku yay! im glad u ended! stay strong, tokaku ^__^
@@spender7942 bi*ch thats not funny
yo, you're literally so brave for taking this step and deciding to stop drinking alcohol. Fighting against an addiction is really really hard but you decided to do it anyways, You're amazing. Recovery is hard but we are rooting for you, wishing you the best. ♡
@@ecchicookie I do too and I drink very rarely.
I thought I looked at a black and white Giorno profile picture.
It’s not bravery. Its damn hard work, it’s good for her and good inspiration but it’s not brave.
@@purplekey1560 for me it looked like Giorno but without a face
That scene of her dumping her alcohol just means so much. That's incredible
Yes, very strong message
Give it to me instead
@@Megalilalol1 what if *no*
That's alcohol abuse
@@chin-chin574 haha
For updates since the end of this video. Hit 'see more' to read. Putting this section up here to block off spoilers so you can enjoy the first 30 days first :)
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9/3/2022: Day 75
CRAVINGS ARE REALLY STRONG WHY AM I DOING THIS UGGGHHH I really can't stand addiction
21/1/2022: Day 27
I relapsed for most of December (I began slowly drinking again mid November?). Well, same thing. Stress. There's not much to say but I've been clean again. I didn't really want to put out an update about it out of... embarrassment? Shame? I guess? Quitting again was the usual and still, it wasn't too bad! I'm way over cravings and don't feel like drinking at all. But boy when you're in it, it's hard to get out. I relapsed for longer than my first relapse too. But hey! It's been a year since I've tried going sober and I'm glad for most of the year, I have been. The second relapse was also a little interesting? I could feel my skin condition get worse during the month, other than my wallet getting set ablaze. Also I broke my phone again while drunk... I guess that's another thing to add to the list of broken stuff because of drinking... I hope to be able to find a better way to relieve my stress. I should probably see a therapist. But still, happy 1 year sober! It's my birthday again!
25/9/2021: Day 133
I've beaten my old streak of 123 days! I decided to go on a break from youtube for a bit, the stress was too much. Maybe youtube full time isn't for me, there's a lot of uncertainty and worry... I don't think I'll ever be able to understand how people enjoy self-employment or managing their own business... Although, my break has been going well and I've never felt so relieved before. But I dread coming back, I don't want to start thinking all over again. Stress seems to be at its peak at around 120 days sober, it's very possible that I still have no stress coping methods and 120 days is the roughly how long I can last before burning out.
23/8/2021: Day 100
I'm better at managing stress now. I feel a lot better. Tzechi has gone to the (mandatory country) military so I have more time right now. When I get really bored I think "man, no wonder I was an alcoholic".
14/6/2021: Day 30
Still here. Cravings aren't as intense anymore. Just like before. It's gotten way easier than the first 30 days to be honest. I barely even think about drinking. Plus, when even when I have the slightest thought about it, it's a definitely hard NO than before which was 'welllll I can't drink because I'll be spending money!'. Yeah that was the main reason back then. Now it's cause I know for sure that I can't drink at all. Though, maybe it'll get hard again like on the 4th month or the 7 or 8th month.
29/5/2021: Day 14
so I messed up and started drinking on day 124. I kept at that for two weeks. Well I couldn't take the overwhelming stress and anxiety I felt at the time so I had a beer. After that I was like 'hey, I can drink light and its perfectly fine' except that it wasn't. After that I progressively began drinking more and more and I basically ended up at where I used to be. At that point I realized that well, I'm not a casual drinker at all, I really was right when I said that I would just spiral at first in this video. So now I'm back to not drinking, and I know that this time I can't go back, I really am not like other people. Quitting for the second time was a lot harder than the first, despite only drinking for two weeks, I had full blown cravings all over again like I was back at square one. The cravings were worse too, so I guess that's what they meant when they said that its harder to try again the more and more times you fail. It was a really hopeless feeling and the one thing that made it the hardest was the fact that I now knew that I can't drink. Forever. It was a difficult thing to accept. But hey, I'm still here. The cravings mostly went away after a week just like in this video. Well aw, I want to hit the one year mark as soon as possible but I've reset the counter. Oh well!
20/4/2021: Day 123
I'm still here. Life goes by as usual. Though I wonder if quitting alcohol truly did make me feel better. I've been feeling down a lot lately, it might have not been the alcohol that made me feel depressed but I just already am kinda depressed. I'll wait and see if this is a persistent feeling. I don't really think about drinking normally. Though as I type this, I want to say 'who cares' and drink. I want to relax. I don't feel very nice but I'm sure if I did drink, I'd just feel worse
19/3/2021: Day 91:
I'm still here! Somehow, the cravings are gone. I barely even think about this. I wonder if it'll come back, I'm too busy doing other things to uh, well, even think about alcohol. Especially the thought of spending money on it. Alcohol is a waste of money.
28/2/2021: Day 72
I'm a little late. I'm not sure if I'll keep doing every 10 days updates, but this thread keeps me going too. Ive been forgetting about days and forget updating my diary lately. A little busy. But the past week has been the most difficult since I've started. I've been craving drinking every night or so but this thread is what I think about to stop them.
tzechi ordered some draught beer the other day. I didn't drink any. It was tempting for a bit of a buzz, but I've quit. It's hard... I don't want to do this anymore but I'm staying
15/2/2021: Day 60
I've gone through a couple of situations where I thought to myself "well, this would be a lot more fun or better if I was drunk" especially the times when I use alcohol as a crutch or a solution (e.g. being affectionate to tzechi). I'll learn... I'll learn how to be like that myself but that's such a huge personal change and there's deep problems in it, it's tough. Really goes to show that alcohol is a band-aid solution. Still not gonna drink though! I don't miss it THAT much. I don't crave it.
31/1/2021: Day 45
I'm still holding on strong! I've decided to take another month or two (heck, maybe even half a year) focusing on youtube. I've realised there's still so much more I want to do on this platform and well, it might fuck up the rest of my life in job progression when I do get a job but this is something I don't want to regret not have done. I'm happy now and that's all that matters. I won't regret this because I always do what I think is best for me at any moment :D Stay good everyone!
Do what feels right and makes you happy! Also very proud of you for staying sober, I know how hard it is to quit drinking.
You're already more successful than most people will ever be on this platform. You've earned it.
Why not keep going? Why not try to hit a million? You can stream as well if you don't already.
I'm rooting for you.
My advice is coming from a 32 year old with a normal job and a normal life. I just quit my job last week to do what I said I wanted to do 7 years ago: create a full-time online business that will allow me to travel the world.
You have two of the most powerful tools right now. Youth and time. With these, you can do a lot. Shoot for the moon!
❤️❤️❤️
Stay strong
you really can't tell someone has problems by watching their youtube persona, this video proves that, and i hope everyone remembers this is a real person making the video.
almost 500 likes and no replies
Your future self is watching you right now through memories and she’s very proud of you I bet.
I guess this is the part where I have to represent a biig part of your "underage" fans. Some people are clowning on us but I'm 15 years old and I was so moved at the end. Your dedication to this is amazing and I hope you can keep it up. Coming from a family with some alcohol problems (Dad, brother, Mom sometimes too) I truly wish you the best. If anyone is reading this Alcohol is a drug and you should quit today.
i'm under 15 and i'm moved.
Coffee is a drug, soda is a drug, candy is a drug, turkey on thanksgiving is a drug That’s why if you eat a bunch you pass out it’s because of all the tryptophan in it.
look at the definition of drug. Drugs aren’t necessarily bad. It’s fine to have fun in moderation as an adult. The problem is when it’s a problem.
Obviously, you should stay away from them when your brain is developing. Obviously, you shouldn’t do these things until you are addicted or if you have an addictive personality or mental health issues. I would say the bigger problem is that cigarettes, meth, heroin, liquor or beer are actually poisons not just that they are drugs.
Are you going to judge me because I take pills for my depression are those bad just because they are drugs? are pills that save someone from getting a heart attack bad? Are you going to judge someone for taking cancer drugs? These are all drugs, drugs can do good things or bad things just like any other thing on the earth don’t look at things as black and white.
I’m under 15 and I really wish my papa would quit like tokaku did
Whenever I saw your stuff online i would think to myself "wow, this person is the same age as me and yet they are so on top of their life, why can't i be like that?" This video has not only helped me realise that the people i see online who seem so on top of their lives might not always actually be that way, its all just how we present ourselves you know? It's also somehow made me want to make changes in my own life, Ive struggled with addiction all my life in different ways, whether its friends, family or myself and seeing that so often has an impact i never thought about. I don't have any traditional addictions anymore, maybe nictoine but that doesn't debilitate me, but i do have an addiction to doing nothing. Staying in bed all day, watching youtube. As i write this im still in bed and i have been since i woke up 4 hours ago. Im going to get up now, clean my room and hopefully start focusing on what i need to focus on.
It feels weird to say this but, thank you.
Actually I have the same feelings. I'll be 20 this year and this video made me realize a lot of things that I want to change. For example I sometimes spend times by doing nothin like you but also spending times on my computer but too much time. Sometimes I wake up at 1pm, eat and directly go on my computer and I stay until I sleep around 4am.
So yeah... Thank you Tokaku
As a 4 year smoker and a 6 month quiter. Nicotine creates a Pay wall behind the feeling of relaxation. Its dumb. It made me angry and uncomfortable when i wasn't having a smoke every 30mins. Paying attention was almost impossible. Cold turkey it. You can do it. Use the next quarantine to not go outside. It really gets better after 3 days. If you ever try. You can do it you really can. And if you fail. You fail but you have to try again and mean it each time you try.
"But am I going to drink tomorrow? No, I'm not. I'm busy tomorrow."
A very brave and relatable video, even outside the alcoholism. Well done and congrats.
i struggled with alcohol for 4 years, it was so hard to get clean with how normalized it was for people to drink. it's so hard to go through this. i'm not a huge fan or anything, but i've been watching your videos on and off for years now and i'm so proud of you for realizing this is a problem at a young age, and i'm really happy you were able to make it through this. thank you for sharing this. some young people don't even see this as a problem. thank you again for doing this
Hello there, do you mind telling me which anime your profile picture is from?
@@OfficialEDC its mirai from youkai no kanata
@@OfficialEDC darling in the franxx
this is more than just getting over alcohol.
this is for getting over addiction
(added to favourites)
lmao with all that "i'll do it later" you literally procrascinated addiction
The ultimate level of procrastination
Wait, did she.... theoretically solved addiction.?
faling highschool because of it and dont know how to stop it
*Task failed successfully*
@@zetifyy3455 s a m e
I'm glad you realized the problem, took yourself by the collar, and challenged yourself to fix it this early on in your life.
I started drinking heavily early on in my teens and struggled with alcoholism for over 11 years. It's a bad and expensive habit that doesn't lead to anything other than temporary "drowning" of feelings and responsibilities.
You're not alone in this and you have a community that supports you. Very proud of you.
This honestly makes me pretty proud of you. My dad was (and still is) an alcoholic so I've seen how it can negatively affect people. For those of you who don't know it's not pretty, he was violent and could never be reasoned with. Because of him I've sworn to never drink alcohol in my life, and I try to help some of my friends who are alcoholics to at least cut down on the amount they drink. Seeing you take on the initiative to better yourself isn't just good for you, but for your audience. You will, or probably already have, inspired people to finally face the problem head on. This is what a good content creator looks like, and I wish many more would learn from this. Again thank you for making this change, I, and many others, appreciate it
Are you me?
we're literally experiencing the same thing and that's why i told myself that I'll never drink
@i fell off a tree How slow do you read?
I didn't even know you drank... stay strong totaku.
Can't believe she endured not drinking for a month!!!
@@davidlollipop2714 yea can't imagine not getting wasted on fridays
@@goidd true
Hey. I'm on day 6 without a drink right now. Just wanted to let you know this video was, in large part, the reason I ever got to day 1, and wanted to thank you for it.
Let's hope I'll make it as far as you did. ^^
keep going!! you can do it!
hope you’re still doing well !!
:0
how is it going?
how did it go then?
This is inspiring to see. I’m glad to see you’re becoming a better person even if I didn’t know this was a problem before.
Quitting stuff that you’re addicted to is a pain in the ass, but after you quit it and look back it’s kinda rewarding, I somehow managed to quit smoking a while back now I’ll try to quit drinking. Good job quitting alcohol doe.
@Curious quitting addiction is harder than you think
@Curious Clearly you know nothing about alcoholism.
@Curious BrUhH. Try quitting fapping for 3 months. Let's see what you say after that
@Curious Seems like you know nothing about addiction.
53:11 it felt so nice to see how she was throwing all the alcohol while singing happilly, it may be kinda late to say this but good job
Same :)
true
please continue to look after yourself, you are a great person and youtuber. We all care about you and your health
not gonna lie this is so inspirational, getting off an addiction is hard and I know what im talking about. I’m 16 and I’m struggling with a smoking addiction. You’re the one who got me into rhythm games a long time ago and now you’re the one who inspired me to try to stop this smoking addiction. I’m taking the challenge maybe it will have some good results. Stay strong!
yes, definitely
Dont worry dude you can quit somking if you want it. I smoked over 15 yeahrs and form one day of the other (even without a real reason) i quit. Im ex smoker no for over 2 yeahrs plus and i dont even think about smoking again. The first 3-7 days of quiting are the hardes but after that its getting better and better.
I started smoking at that age too, still addicted to vaping but quit while you can! My armchair advice is to find 2-3 days where you have nothing due at school (easier said than done i know) and fake an illness. you can just stay in bed and enjoy eating and shit.
You're on the right path bud. Wish I never picked up smoking to this day. It's hands down my hardest addiction to break
@@TrickZ_Retz I know all about it man. Ive been smoking to long not to and I have family all in the medical field always giving me shit. I picked up the habit about 14 years ago. Is it something I could eventually quit sure, but I have tried so many times. So at this present moment in time its not gonna really happen.
Alcohol killed my father, my mom's father and mother... And almost took my mother from me. The ones who aren't dead, yet, are still very addicted or fully recovered. It's all fun and games until your health really takes a wrong turn. Think about your health please. I struggle myself with completely putting down alcohol, I occasionally drink.. it's my next goal. WE can do this :)
Very inspirational!!
Hope you managed to quit.
I feel the pain, I come from a family of extremely heavy drinkers, particularly the males. Shit gets violent sometimes.
I completely understand your struggle, although I’m not an alcoholic. I have major depressive disorder, and coming back to life is kind of hard. I feel stuck in having no goals, friends, or taking care of my responsibilities. I’m fighting everyday to be a better person, take care of my chores, reconnect to old friends, and write a story for a video game I want to make. It’s hard. Don’t give up.
Just wanted to say I related to your post. Depression sucks and I’m currently going through the same process of not having any goals and just feeling like shit everyday. I sometimes don’t talk to my friends either because of it. It really does feel like you’re stuck, unable to climb up from a hole. Anyway, excuse my rant, cheers and hope things get better for both of us!
Rooting for you man💚
I don't have any diagnosed disorder but I had some periods in my life when I felt extremely depressed or had low self worth
Im 17 years old and Im also an aspiring gamedeveloper. And I feel pretty stressed because im not doing good at school(online learning sucks I pay 0 attention) and Im just focused on making my portfolio. Because of the quarantine I played too much and watched too much anime before 2021 so when I limited the escapism I feel more and more stressed sometimes, I don't know if I can make it. And yeah overall the quarantine makes everything extremely boring, and since I don't have any friends around besides Discord calls I just dont meet people. Damn I even feel like drinking now /:
Btw if you're interested twitter.com/HyperLemonPL
Ive been working on my main project for like a year now and its getting more and more complex and Im losing my creative juices sometimes as well
Ive been burntout for September to December 2020
And at a similar time as you I actually just went like "Yeah lets get some habits like drinking more water, actually working on my project atleast a little, going for a walk or even running and learning Japanese" and I mostly keep them to this day
@@hyperkun Hey you're young so try not to worry to much alright. Just some random internet advice but try to keep doing what you're doing which is building your portfolio alright. At the worst case, you may need to wait for covid to be over if you really struggle hard with online learning. But if that is the case try your best to keep coding and learning everyday :)
@@ShadowWafflesss thanks a lot for the nice reply man💚
This is such a touching story. And the ending was beautiful.
😧
This is actually so inspiring. Im 16 and I struggle with an eating disorder and im going to make a change. This vid really REALLY made me realize that I have to make a change. Eating shouldnt have been a problem in the first place. im prolly jus gonna play some diva or muse dash to keep my mind off food lmao. I hope u keep it up and your doing great frfr. U got this (:
Good luck! You can do it!
Well, The Algorhithm reccomending me this after having finished like a third of a bottle of whiskey the evening before, hmm... I recommend You for your persistence, for me, it has become progressively worse over the last eight years, Im 26. Mainly because I don‘t really care about me or my health, because of loneliness and just feeling worthless. But maybe its time to reconsider.
this is what made me question so much when I was quitting. I didn't decide on any good reason other than 'maybe I should stop' I knew I should stop. I knew the downsides. But a part of me knew, maybe I could just live with them. Maybe start at a whim like I did and figure it out while you keep trying!
I'm convinced there's something that makes quitting worth it for u. Once u quit alcohol, I'm sure u can learn to appreciate urself or find something you're really passionate about, which makes that new lifestyle worth it. Wish u the best
@@tokaku Thanks for Your answer! I came about that part after You explained this in the video, I will do my best!
@@Datha164d Thank You very much! I do feel really down at times, but I realized it is often due to hangover, I will try to do it differently and hopefully it is as You say, nevertheless thank You!
If you are alive you have a purpose, find it.
Watching this made me cry, watching you I never thought you drank. I stopped drinking a few years ago cause I wanted to get my shit together and become a better person. With this pandemic my mental health has been deteriorating and I've been wanting to go back, watching you pour out the alcohol was so powerful. Thank you for helping me realise to keep going. You are an extremely strong person in our eyes, thank you for sharing this journey with us. Please stay strong and keep going! We believe in you.
haha omg i cried too, i was so happy for her
"I'm too busy to feel down"
man that quote hits way too hard, sometimes when I have nothing to do I just think about my life and realize that I'm not really happy deep down, and I don't know what to do in order to feel happy
When you said you didn't think your demographic would be dealing with any addiction at all, I had to disagree. There are so many people I know who are in their early 20s who suffer from all kinds of alcohol and drug abuse. That's why I think it's so awesome you made this video and provided your audience with this space to be open and honest.
Im having my exams in just a month and i havent really even started to do the revisions that should be done within last yr holy shit i realised i had wasted a whole year addicted to games and stuff ... after watching this video i felt kinda determined idk why imma try my best for my spm exam although its quite hard for me to throw my games away ... its day 2 so i think im doing it like a month challenge thing same like yours... thanks for inspiring me for this and ur becoming someone like one of ur fren that inspired you to do this challenge!! Ur actually starting to inspire other people too! Ur making the world a better place.. Stay determined and we will archive our goals
Good luck. Like seriously though I am actually addicted to osu!, I think I should take a break
Same thing happens to me. It is hard but you just have to be strong and think on your future
Nadaso8 thanks for sharing! I will test it out ltr 😁
Firstly, we should all give a round of applause to tokaku for quiting her addiciton.
Secondly, if anyone is addicted to anything, they should see a doctor or any sort of therapist that can help you get over your addiction, or you can try this challenge.
Thirdly, the people that gave this video dislikes, bruh why???
(good job tokaku!!!)
But I'm addicted to splatoon and taiko no tasugin, I'm fine
the dislikes were from people who were drunk and misckicked
She’s following rusty. Good for you
i'm glad they're helping themselves with their problems. i hope this can help.
oh shit you reminded me! i need to catch up on rustycage!
im very proud of both of them
rusty failed though
MINIMIN MINIMIN he was 99% good. Better then nothing
Not the sort of video I expected from this channel but it’s great to see. It’s hard to put yourself out here like this. Or at least it would be really hard for me. I put out videos sometimes and unlist them immediately because I get embarrassed or shy about something in them. You didn’t have to make this video but I think we can all connect with and understand each other a little bit better because you did, and I have a lot of respect for that. Congrats on the 30 days!
I just started my journey in quitting alcohol and weed too. Stay strong.
You can do it !
I wish you'll do it! ;)
good luck! i believe u can do it!!!
hows it going?0
@@dubbyandnothingelse let the man live please stfu
From what i've learned with with getting your life together, is that there will be a relapse. I don't say this to demotivate, and everyone's different so it might not happen for you, but if relapse comes, you've got to be ready to forgive yourself and get back on track. Granted I don't have an alcohol addiction, but a lot about your life and what you said hits close to home. in the process of getting my life back on track, I've slipped into old habits, and undone progress, and the first time this happens can really hurt you and your progress, not because you slipped into that old habit but because you don't know how to handle it. If you relapse, you got to acknowledge and forgive and try to get back up on your feet as quick as you can. Good luck
This may have randomly popped into my recommended, and i may not have any idea who you are, but breaking an addiction is a big milestone, keep it up.
I occasionally come to this video when I'm down, and honestly this video (and, in general, stopping a bad habit for a month) is really inspiring.
i find this to be the best video of yours. stay strong tokaku
Honestly, I never actually knew this was going on in your personal life. It just goes to show that there's a lot going on in a person's background than what you think, even as somebody with influencer status.
As someone who only a couple months ago kicked their drinking addiction, I'm seriously proud of you for detecting a habit and killing it early. It's painful, difficult, and it takes a completely different mindset, but the reward in a couple months is unfathomable
I think I can speak for everyone when i say that we are proud of you. Such a brave step to take, and you pulled it off all the way through!
to be honest, it really takes up a lot of courage to stop drinking, as i was also once a drinker like her, and im also around her age so... to be able to stay away from all those temptations and all the influences, that's a big step. Especially at the ending where she pour all the alcohol away, i have never thought that people would be pouring them away, knowing that they are so expensive... This video is really something i would recommend people to watch if he/she is a alcohol addict and want to stop. Thanks for all the great video so far and keep up the good job!
Thanks to this I'm planning on quitting sodas for an entire month (I don't drink alcohol lol). You really are an inspirational person, tokaku.
I almost got addicted to diet coke once, it's going to be hell to quit because of the sweetness you'll crave. But you can do it!
@@tokaku How do you get addicted to diet coke-
@@naxzed_it the taste, it doesn’t have to specifically be addictive to get addicted, it’s about having something a lot will make your brain want that thing more because life isn’t normal without it and your brain hates change
Quitting soda (and any carbonated drinks) is good for your skin too.
Hello guys im just gonna tell you right now my life did a full 180 when i quit drinking any sweet drinks all together and started working out. I would say i might not even be here anymore if i hadnt done it, but seriously it was such a challenging thing to do. Trust me it gets wayy easier after 1 or 2 months, and now its been almost 2 years since i have drank anything sweet, i almost dont even remember the taste of coca cola anymore lol. Of course not drinking anything sweet wasnt the only thing i did aswell, i also had alot of other improvements
This is really insipring! I'll put myself up to the challenge as well, I have been falling down a depressive hole with my own heavy drinking. Keep it up!
proud of you for trying man. hope you reach your goals
My dads an alcoholic. He’s never violent but it’s killing him. I don’t ever want to drink.
Good mindset to have
you need to learn what moderation is
@@kam2894 whats wrong???
@@tia5532 Believe me, don't even try to drink moderately, people say that it's healthy to drink low amounts but there is NO point in drinking, no point. It brings so much evil and sadness to this world
@@kamatayon6380 I’m trying to stay sober for my entire life. I just hope I don’t give in.
the part where she says she wants to make more friends and go outside hits home real hard, LIKE REAL HARD OOF
pain.
I know it's hard feeling like you NEED to decide something by the end of 30 days, but, in fact, you don't. The "I'll do it later" or "I can do it later" technique is used a lot by ppl to get rid of addictions. Is thinking one day at a time. It's not "I won't drink anymore" because thinking too much ahead might just bring a streak of anxiety bc you really dont know what's going on tomorrow. That's why people usually say "I'm not drinking today". You are allowed to take easy on yourself and not push those big decisions when you dont know how to make them.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell how amazing you were. This was, indeed, a big challenge and you went through it perfectly. Not in the way of "it was easy" but exactly because it wasn't easy at all. You went through all ups and downs and there you were, tossing all the alcohol down the sink two years after drinking yourself into sadness on your 18th birthday. It was the surprise I didn't knew I needed so bad. Tokaku, you are fantastic. I'm no one, but I'm still crazily proud of you. You won over those bottles and I only wish you the best. Take care.
my mother passed away almost 2 years ago from drinking vodka. I'm So Proud Of You. ❤
sorry for your loss :(
@@beccasn8725 tysm🖤
@@tiyaku if you ever need someone to talk to my instagram is beccasn and my discord is becca#4992 :)
Sorry for your loss mate , RIP
idk why media and movies portray drinking and smoking as cool
Bruh, the part at the end where she poured out her bottles into the sink had me welling up. I've not seen any of her videos before but I cant help feeling so proud of her 😢
you can actually see how her voice and mood has changed in the 30 days
I feel like a proud parent, I’ve got so much respect for her for doing this and keeping up with it, much love
honestly this felt like watching a movie, full of inspiration of to stop my own bad habits and have control in my life. when you poured away the alcohols at the end it made me feel so emotional and look back at my own past. thank you for this wonderful video.
This was recommended and I've gone 3 days without a drink. I was never a drinker until March of 2020.
Good luck on your adventure.
"... I'm gonna be busy for the rest of my life."
That's amazing, I've only started to watch you recently, but I'm so happy you were able to do this for yourself.
one of the best videos I've seen in a while, even though it's long it was really captivating
aw, that's the highest form of compliment a content creator can get on a video! I'm so happy that this video is engaging, inspiring and useful to you and others :D
Holy wasn’t expecting a vid like this, my drinking habits were so bad when I was in the military a year ago, I took a 8 months break from drinking before picking it back up again and now I’m so lightweight I can’t drink as much lol! Keep up the great work!
My dad died of alcohol when he was 50 it fucked up his body and ended up unconscious in his blood in his room, a friend of his found him there and an ambulance took him to the hospital but the damage was already done and died there.
I hope that you’ll succeed at bringing that habit down, even if you relapse, by trying to stop you’ve made the first step to healing :)
I had a point in my life where i also drinked a lot, i drank every day and was every day wasted. I just told myself to stop and did cold turkey, i still want to drink to this day but i keep fighting against it. I hope that everyone that has a problem can do something against it.
I’m honestly so proud of you! I don’t much about anything about addiction, but I’m so happy to see you well. I watched every second of the video and seeing you improve was motivating.
Damn, It really hits differently when you see the actual human behind the youtube channel.
Great work on going sober and keep it up! I quit drinking (except for special occasions eg new years)a few years back and have never regretted it :D
"No, I'm going to be busy tomorrow"
- an improved person
Yes, the way she said that was really something. It made me smile.
you inspired me to play osu!, now you will inspire people to quit drinking, nice jolene, im proud of you, we're proud of you
i quit drinking too around 8 months ago and it's so .... personal being able to relate with one's experiences so much. you are so so so so strong and i'm so proud of you. this was an incredible watch. 💖
Seeing a new tokaku upload, I wasn't expected something emotional, but this video has moved me greatly. With my dad passing away due to alcoholism a year ago, I expected your experience to hit close to home, but never how I would've thought. Although I'm still young and have very little to worry about, you've given me a motivation I havent felt in a very, very long time. Seeing someone who I viewed as a real person, not just some internet personality, better themselves and find their way into "real life", truly gave me a feeling of hope. Seeing someone make an effort to become sober and benefit as a person after I've seen the the immense difficulties myself, makes me feel less hopeless about my future. After watching this, I feel like I can turn my life around, succeed, and make my dad proud. I'm sure your journey has not only impacted me, but many others, and I wish you the best of luck this year on your journey Jolene.
I thought this was a joke vid or something but holy shit I didn't expect this, huge respect and best wishes.
@Sam Dingdangdongalong album in your profile pic is gas
I found your channel a week or two ago from a UA-cam sidebar recommendation. It was for a pro quality controller for a game I've never played.
But I ended up watching all of it because you're a good content creator and I was like well, I'll never buy this nor do I play rhythm games. But I wanted to see more
of your content. So I went your other videos and watched a few more and now I'm subscribed. And one of the first things I do when I find a new creator on here. I start devouring past videos
I just watched this one and let me tell you, GOOD JOB! I'm 35 and quit drinking about 4 years ago. When I was 21, I was already a full blown alcoholic from the age of 17 and using other drugs with it. I never even had a want or need to quit. Hell, I use to always say to people quitting is for losers and you only have one life so why not waste it staring down the end of an bottle. So. once again
what you did was hard and took some work and I don't know if you're still sober or maybe started again but now you're conscious of what it does and not to be binge drinking every day of the week. Keep on producing and making content, you're really good at it and I look forward to watching all of your backlog and new videos as well. Sending a big ol high five from California!
What an absolutely incredible video. This really hit me in a lot of ways, honestly. I grew up with an alcoholic mother, and for the longest time, it just felt like watching her go through a battle that I didn't know if she could win, but I knew I couldn't give up on her. Finally, after hitting rock bottom and almost dying, she decided to get sober, and now has been for 7-8 years. I can't remember which it is off the top of my head because it just feels like the new normal now. My mom used to drink an entire large bottle of Skyy Vodka a day, and now she hasn't touched a drink since the day she almost died and her and everyone around her can agree that she is a much better person now for it. Another way this really kinda hit me was it made me kinda realize a lot of the problems with my life. I really need to start working out and eating better. I'm at a pretty unhealthy weight, and I know that I really need to do something about it because I know my health is at risk. After sitting through this whole video, it feels really motivating seeing how even through the many points you struggled, you still came out on top. This is my favorite video you've ever made, and I'm glad that I watched through to the end, hoenstly I was pretty glued to the screen from start to finish, so thank you, and I'm really proud of you that you were able to accomplish this amazing goal. Here's to many more months, and hopefully years to come!
This is by far your best video. Im a heavy smoker, i doubt your video will make quit smoking but its nice to see that one of my fav youtubers is a real person i can actually connect to.
I dont mind my smoking, but it fucking drains my money away and i really dont have much money to spare.
Edit: quit smoking.
Oh, and Happy birthday ^^
same here, very proud she is able to stop addiction
I also smoke but don't mind it except the issue you mentioned lol, but probably because I don't do it too often :p
@@macbook8738 im smoke around pack a day, i try hard not to go over that. Started easy at age of 14, now that im 23 sometimes i have trouble paying rent and i ditch food all the time in favour of tobacco thinking i save money on food by not eating hahah
@@becharac yeah dude, it's too far when you use rent money for smokes, try buying less. I'm 16 right now so it's not like I have easy access to it for better or worse lol, my strategy when I want to take tobacco break is use the money on other stuff asap, in your case food (and keep money for rent obviously) so you don't got any money to spend on cigarettes. Good luck, personally I think a few once in a while is good for me cause it's a great stress killer, but it's easy to get addicted, I've been addicted before (something called snus, tobacco product in Scandinavia) and its a pain. Great that you don't go over a pack though, but it depends on your body, I think if I smoked pack a day I'd die lol
@@macbook8738 nah man, ull only get more addicted, trust me we all start the same way. If you dont want to end up smoking pack a day, i advise you to stop now xd
Despite not being an alcoholic, watching this video has made me want to relook into my current life and improve myself. Thanks tokaku! Wish you all the best in keeping up at your goals as well!
Aye man have the utmost respect for you for the end of fucking time for this video, doing sum like this bro takes like BALLS and solid ass commitment, alcoholism is hard to break bro and definitely when alot of your finances are going towards that along with other stuff bro like dude it's not easy bro keep it the fuck up and I'm pretty damn sure you have man. Also ending this comment at the part about twitter.....yes Twitter is a fucking toxic wasteland
Facts, I got a grip but when I was young I had a period of severe depression and drinking became my crutch. Its just hard man. Great job she did and good on you for recognizing how much of an accomplishment it is.
Just really wanna thank you for posting this, my current drinking habits are about the same as yours were at the beginning of this video, and this is what I needed to get myself to try and make a change, I hope you stay strong and it’s day 1 for me, wish me luck!
hope that you are staying strong
i can relate to this so much. Of course i’m a minor so i obviously can’t drink alcohol but i’ve been living alone after a family tragedy and been suffering from depression and ptsd. this video helped motivate me to persevere no matter how shitty my situation is. Thank you for taking on such a challenge to fight addiction.
I really find this video inspiring. I related to a lot of your points. I feel isolated and lonely sometimes, and alcohol feels like a solution.
I've been sleep deprived since the start of my high school. Thanks to you, I feel motivated to fix my sleep disorders.
you just motivated me
@@ujubin you just motivated me
yea i havent slept today or yesterday at all im living off of caffeine it sucks
@@ashycoollol You just motivated me
How has it been going so far?
I have no idea who you are, this is the first video of urs that I have seen, and I have some things to say. I am going through some struggles that have to do with quitting alcohol and marijuana and I can relate to you completely.
I think its so impressive that you can talk to the camera about ur problems and it flows so well out of you. It's like you are giving urself a therapy session. You are a very aware person, you can point out was is going on with ur emotions and ask urself questions about them. I don't know I think that is really cool. I admire you for that completely.
You gotta get into rhythm games. It’s like drugs but you get carpal tunnel from it
@@Borisaur Bahahaha I play the drums so i'd love to.
Click the circle
@@梨梨-z2c to the beat
ngl the ending almost made me tear up. super happy you went through with this and proud of you :)
re watching this video after two years as I struggle to battle with my own addictions. Everything you're going through is very relatable and honestly motivates me to continue on my own journey.
It brings me tears of joy watching someone improve their life. I cannot explain why.
This was a video that I have postponed to watch for the last 4 months ever since it got released. Back on the day of release, after I had seen the first 5 minutes, I knew this video was going to be deep and that I had to find some day to actually sit down and watch this video.
4 months later and I finally managed to watch this. This video was really emotional, especially the last bit kinda tore at me. I feel like you made some really sensible points in this video and it was really powerful to see you go through this journey.
Before commenting this I first decided to scroll through some comments and I'm really sad to read that you've fallen back. I hope this time you can overcome it for good and I wish you all the best of luck with that. I also hope you are soon able to overcome your feelings of depression too.
I really wish you the best on this journey and thank you for this amazing video!
You were spitting facts about twitter, I've never been able to concisely articulate what my problems are with the website but you put it eloquently.
She is the only UA-camr who is honest and I love it also this looks like it took alot of effort and it probably did
I very much understand people not being able to escape alcohol, but going out of your way and fixing that problem is honestly really inspirational. Stay safe everyone
I LOVE the pmmm soundtracks in the background
You just gotta love Yuki Kajiura's work.
I was like "woah, pmmm soundtracks in a video which talk about alcohol and addiction, this is great"
@@OokiiPeter just gotta love it.
I didn't even know that she was an acholic but hearing this made me really proud of her and I think being able to do something as hard as this is good and these types of videos are really cool too like just you vlogging I guess? Idk but good job on the 30 days
Oh my goodness this was sooo real. This video made me feel some damn feelings, let me tell you...
watching this feels like watching a full documentary for free. this is wholesome especially at the end. Good luck on your future.
i’ve struggled with self harm and drug addiction in the past and have been sober from hard drugs for about 2 months and self harm for 7 months. you’ve got this. we’ve all got this and will make it through this.
Good luck on quitting, and I hope you will make it!
Respect. It takes balls to make such a video and to be so honest with one's self, you have all of my support in deciding to quit alcohol!
I myself am 21 and have had some problems with addiction, be it getting wasted with my friends every Saturday night (basically all I could look forward the whole week), or periods where I'd go out of my way to always be able to smoke at least a joint every night, I feel the struggle! Been there with a couple of different things, quitting or regulation always, always helps in the long run, puts you at peace with yourself and allows for improvement, really excellent video diary, such an interesting watch♥️ I wish you all the best, seriously
I’m actually so proud of you! I saw this on my recommended and I watched the whole way through. And the ending was so nice! On your birthday pouring out the alcohol. And how you said you’ll be too busy for alcohol your entire life. I hope it goes good!
The bit at 10:00 to 10:40 really resonated with me. It's so hard to get sober when being drunk has become such a normality for 5 years. You get sober for 2-3 days then start to think what's the point and just start drinking again. Apparently you have to stay sober for quite a while to feel the benefits, which makes it so hard to feel like it's worth it when you don't even remember what being sober for more than 2 weeks even feels like. Might as well stay drunk, endless vicious cycle. So sick of it. Hopefully your vid gives me some inspiration, thanks. And good luck with your journey.
Saw this in my recommended, Jolene I'm so proud of you! I knew when we used to talk a lot that you had some kind of issue with drinking so it's amazing to see you stick through with this!!
I’m really glad to see that you’re trying to make yourself better for us. As someone who used to have a self harm problem, I can tell you that it’s a great feeling once you’re able to stop for the long run.
Good luck, we all believe in you!
why did u censor harm lol
@@360jeezyhater right? Lol
@@360jeezyhater people can sometimes get a bit upset when you mention self harm sometimes
“I’m not depressed”, gives the definition of being depressed. I’m so proud of you, but you don’t have to be depressed all the time to be depressed.
Being depressed is not just a permanent condition. doing things like quitting drinking or smoking can definitely lead to depression while you quit. It takes a lot to convince yourself you don’t need something and it takes a lot to convince yourself to stop doing something that made you fit in or helped you have fun or feel good when without it you wouldn’t necessarily be feeling that way.
The difference between clinical depression, and the emotion of depression from what I understand is when you have clinical depression there’s not a stimulus making you depressed but when you are depressed and it’s an emotion, it’s a reaction something is happening in your life that is making you feel this way.
You’re doing great I love your videos and you’re so talented. Don’t waste your life on alcohol. I watched my dad waste years of his life if there’s any wisdom I can give it’s just not worth it and if you think you’re not affecting the people you love, you are, you just don’t remember.
Same goes for cigarettes, and what you’re describing with cigarettes is called an oral fixation. You should start replacing the fixations you have with alcohol and cigarettes with some thing it will make it way easier to not drink or not smoke .
I never comment on videos really, but I just wanted to say that the end of this video made me smile. I only found out about this channel today and despite me not knowing you i'm really proud of you. I'm glad you reached your goal!
this feels like what it should've felt like when i watch those "educational" videos. seriously tho, this is literally me when i try to become a better person. this doesn't feel like a movie, it's more like a reflection of myself. i don't drink alcohol, 'cuz i don't see the reason to. i just feel like i want to feel better when everything is as good as can be. and i agree with you about "haters". i always feel like everytime i make even a tiny mistake, everything will go bad and i will be hated for the rest of my life. even now as i'm writing this comment. and those voices in your head asking "why bother"? those are the worst. it always cancels out everything that you tried to do. and only at these days that i feel happy with my decisions. most of the time, i feel like i could have done better. and i want to say thanks for uploading this video.
I'm glad you found it really relatable!
Well, a week after day 7, I looked back at day 7 (when I spoke about haters) and saw it a bit differently. I guess, at the time I was anxious, like I always had been. "What will people who don't like me think of me?" It mattered a lot. Just like how I would judge people I don't like when they were having their downs, I didn't want the same done to myself.
What happened was that I realised that even if the people I didn't like were going through a good period, I'd try to find some other excuse that they were terrible. I don't do that anymore, it's a waste of thought. I started reading philosophy for fun. I'm reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius right now and Marcus is quite into the stoic mindset. You can only control your thoughts and mind and actions. You can't change what people think, even if you were to try speaking to them. You can't even control your body, accidents happen. You can't control bad luck or situations.
In the end, like even as I said at the time, I don't need to prove myself to the people I don't like. They don't matter (as cliche as that sounds). I'm not going to live my life dictated to the thoughts of these people, when the only person who controls my actions is me.
@@tokaku i'll keep that in mind. Thanks!
This is one of my favorite videos on UA-cam (I've watched it four or five times in the past two years, when it first came out), as it shows growth like no other, while documented really well. Props to you Tokaku, and RIP my comment is so late.
I didn't even know that Tokaku was a alcholic in the first place lol
Same ;-;
That's the thing... she looks so young, 25 tops so it's kind of mind boggling but it's entirely possible, it's great she's withdrawing now because it just gets worse as time goes by
Edit:She's 20, holy shit, im so happy for her
same I was not expecting her to be an alcoholic
Same, didn't know she smoked either. Damn
@@ChronicalV she doesn’t smoke