They call me the narc destroyer. I find it fun to pretend like they don’t exist, call them out when it’s appropriate, let them target me and smear me and watch them destroy themselves while i crush my job and totally ignore them. Its easier then you think and takes zero effort.
Build a good relationship with your boss and everyone else you work with but don’t talk about the narc unless you have a close group of friends at work. If/when they cross the line or make you uncomfortable keep a line of communication open with your boss/supervisor about the person. Keep it basic and professional. Just state the facts and your concerns. Otherwise ignore them and be extremely short with no emotions when dealing with them. But make sure your confident and look them in the eye. Your basically telling them with body language im not giving you anything but also I’m not afraid of you. Shoulders back, good posture. I’ve literally turned my head and walked away from a narc just trying to be “nice” to me and ask me something basic. Its hard to do but you only need to do it once or twice bc they are so fragile that simple rejection like that is unbearable and a risk they wont take again. Let them talk. Who cares. Make your work experience yours and find the people that you can rely on. If your superiors are worth their salt they will understand the problem and handle it or just let the workers figure it out. If they “believe” the narc, your superiors suck and it might be time to look elsewhere. From what you said I would notify your manager and start the line of communication with your concerns as soon as possible so at least he has your side of the story. The narc will embellish and manipulate its side of things so keep your story simple, calm and factual. These people are powerless and sooner or later EVERYONE catches on if you let them do their thing. Especially if you show them strength and confidence and make them understand that you will no longer be their target. Then they move on to the next person who will soon understand the truth as well. Be prepared everyday. Its a game. Get in their head and fucking win. But don’t let them know your playing. How do you score a point? REJECTION. The destruction of a narc is not public but internal. Inside them. Make them doubt themselves and fear approaching you through fear of.. REJECTION. Its their kryptonite. Their biggest fear. And thats why they go to insane levels of manipulation to get people to LIKE and ACCEPT them. PS. Never give a narc information. Idc if its what’d you do this weekend? answer: idk. REJECTION. play stupid always to them. Make them believe you dont even know haha. Give them stupid reasons to talk shit about you. If they call for you, walk the other way and if they mention it, “oh didnt hear you” then walk away again. Interact with no emotion mostly polite but almost like you’re bored and uninterested. Make them feel exactly how they should. Like they deserve nothing. You’ll know your winning when they try to be nice and get information from you. Drive the hammer home with even more rejection. Then they will talk shit about you to everyone they can one last time and move on. Hope it helps.
@@YoungGunner000 What exactly do I tell the boss - that my coworker is a narcissist? Tell the boss about the shady stuff he does when no one is looking?
@@dragonfish888nah dont say narcissist. Dont diagnose someone. Unless you’re very close to your boss and can have more candid conversations outside of a work environment. I would wait for your coworker to cross a line. Then immediately talk to your boss about your specific concerns. Calmly explain what just happened and then what has been happening and why you dont feel comfortable. Play it dumb a little, be relaxed and be simple and quick with your description. This will cause your manager to pay more attention and depending on what your coworker did, take action or not. If he doesn’t take action he will pay more attention and if it happens again you mention it again. This process is more about you building a good and credible relationship with your boss. So be calm, easy going and just express your concerns. Then change the subject and build a relationship with your boss. Dont complain. Good luck, have fun. Be confident. Be the leader that you wish you had in this situation
Assuming your boss is willing to do the right thing. Bosses are people and most people will do what is easier and let a narcissist get away with it, rather than hold them accountable.
I’m going though this right now. This person is late every single day, and the office knows this but favors him cause they knows the materials to run the place better. This person has absolute power over what time I get to go home. If I continue to complain I will be going home for good. Edit: @mmo_gamersage1910 Start a paper trail collecting evidence. If you have a Union go speak to your union rep. Skip going to management since they won’t do anything. If a manager then tries to remove you, let them know you already spoken with your union rep and its under investigation. (Buy a recorder and get every conversation especially phone calls, this might be risky so read your worksite handbook) Step2- change your schedule to see less of this person. When the next person who takes the schedule ALSO starts complaining, together with what you’ve done he/she will be on checkmate and management will now see the problem and finally act on it.
I’m currently dealing with a narcissistic coworker, at the time writing this comment. And to make it worse, they are fixating on me and actively trying to get me fired for a complete accident. 💀
Thank you for sharing. I’m currently dealing with the same issue…a narc fixating on me. Getting others to talk about me, say out loud comments/names calling me a weirdo the b word. It’s UNBELIEVABLE!!!
I have a couple of coworkers like that at my work. They are constantly trying to boss everybody around. Gaslighting is their favorite thing. Our manager doesn't do anything about the whole situation. Some of our crew members have already given up and are taking orders from these narcissists. Others are trying very hard to ignore them. The workplace has become so toxic!
Never be alone with them. Do not go to job sites with them. Do not be in rooms alone with them. Always have witnesses. They are prone to false accusations and potentially even violent attacks. Always record them when they try to physically approach you.
Yes. They can dish it out, but they can't take it when someone dishes it out to them. The worst is when the boss is narcissistic. Then there's no fairness or level headedness.
trust me......love turns to hate in a heartbeat.....be on alert with a narcissist, they do not care about you.....they only care about themselves, what they do and how they get what they want.
This guy who started at my job about two months ago, and is the most bloviating, arrogant showboating person I have ever met in my entire life and no one can stand him because he is such a know-it-all rude jerk. Anyway, last night he was closing, and I did some extra things that I didn’t have to do to help him and I pointed out something that I did just so he would know I did it and he didn’t need to… And he said, “try not to hurt your hand from patting yourself on the back so hard.” Classic projection, and I almost fell over… I wish I would’ve clapped back, “well, you’re the expert, Sean… I’m surprised your hand is not permanently sprained” but I will be prepared for his ridiculous little narcissistic shots at me next time. These people are so lacking in self-awareness it’s comical. 😂
Dont cast your pearls before swine. Since it is not appreciated, dont bother with helping the guy in the future. He will not understand why you changed your behavior towards him, nor that he caused it, but it will save you lots of aggravation in the long run. Just be correct & polite, nothing extra.
Yep, has been my experience as well. The only way to get the boss involved is when it directly affects them. So: if your narc coworker messes up, let them - but cover your back so they can not put it on you when it wasnt your fault. Then let the boss deal with the mess the narc made... and make sure the narc cannot escape or put it on someone else. Otherwise there is zero accountability.
I do t think this girl is a narcissist but there’s this level of projecting her insecurities on other people. Yes she craves validation in how much she’s asking other workers about practically nothing. The first time she started she tried to get others to laugh with her at my hair, when that didn’t work she scoffed at me just giving her a compliment, I let it go and she seemed to understand but I knew something was wrong when I asked her a question and she completely flipped the question around and came back and said “you said the male supervisor told you something wasn’t his problem” my eyes got wide and I said noooo he didn’t say that and I didn’t tell you that. She tried to do a he said she say by putting this man in the wrong when he did nothing. And all I did was ask her something since he was too busy to help me. Idk how she pulled that out her ass. Then she started to project about my complexion with the female supervisor. I got tired of her today and told her how ugly her energy is how rat like and how weasel like she is. Then I went a little over bored because she rallied two other women to get the harassment going and I wasn’t going to let it go. I’m not going to speak to son but the boss is exceptional in just how they work and engage with the employees. When the problem was known… this girl who was into trying to covertly harass me was now crying and trying to push certain points of how I reacted to her. I feel so stupid for reacting because it’s what she wants. Idk wtf it is but it’s like they can smell positivity and they just want to snuff it out. It was so cliquish and she’s the ring leader. The other workers don’t care but the hair hat and the tall strange one was willing to be toxic with her. I’m too old to be checking people like that. But I don’t condone any kind of bullying and I feel it’s very spiritual because they pick and choose they don’t try just anybody.
I disagree with them knowing what they are. I think the main factor that differentiates a narcissist from an asshole is the narcissist believes their own lies and that nothing is their fault. It’s that delusion that makes them so difficult to deal with.
Just realized my internal client/director is a narcissist and playing with me for the past 5 months of projects I thought we were working together: stealing my work credits 100%, blaming everything including me for anything that isn’t working, not respecting me but just need me to do his team work, not accountable for anything for him and his manager (his manager is a mini version of him), love to show off and BS on anything for executives/management, using me as his filter for work and scapegoat. My win win approach at work obviously doesn’t work here. Re strategizing to deal with this Narcissist…. Unfortunately, my priority to get projects done is no longer a priority. Ensuring his accountabilities, making sure management knows work I have done, and protecting myself at work are my priorities now. 5:46 exactly! When I confronted him I did all the work and used my weekend, he fought back and criticized that I want to claim credit….
well for me i chose the exit ! i ve had enough of their toxicity and the enabling boss. i just got myself out of there for the sake of my mental and physical health !
What should one do if the boss and additional bosses and colleagues are narcissists, that will invent lie reports to blame an employee for why the sales don’t go well?
Stopped watching as soon as he called narcissist self centred. They are but it in turn causes them to be so centred on others behaviour towards themselves that it shows this person doesn't j ow the first thing about a narcissist or what terrible people they are in the office. The only way to protect yourself is to leave.
They call me the narc destroyer. I find it fun to pretend like they don’t exist, call them out when it’s appropriate, let them target me and smear me and watch them destroy themselves while i crush my job and totally ignore them. Its easier then you think and takes zero effort.
Hello fellow narc destroyer. I like your term and would like to use it too. Is that ok?
@@Flexyourmemes absolutely lol
Build a good relationship with your boss and everyone else you work with but don’t talk about the narc unless you have a close group of friends at work. If/when they cross the line or make you uncomfortable keep a line of communication open with your boss/supervisor about the person. Keep it basic and professional. Just state the facts and your concerns. Otherwise ignore them and be extremely short with no emotions when dealing with them. But make sure your confident and look them in the eye. Your basically telling them with body language im not giving you anything but also I’m not afraid of you. Shoulders back, good posture. I’ve literally turned my head and walked away from a narc just trying to be “nice” to me and ask me something basic. Its hard to do but you only need to do it once or twice bc they are so fragile that simple rejection like that is unbearable and a risk they wont take again. Let them talk. Who cares. Make your work experience yours and find the people that you can rely on. If your superiors are worth their salt they will understand the problem and handle it or just let the workers figure it out. If they “believe” the narc, your superiors suck and it might be time to look elsewhere.
From what you said I would notify your manager and start the line of communication with your concerns as soon as possible so at least he has your side of the story. The narc will embellish and manipulate its side of things so keep your story simple, calm and factual.
These people are powerless and sooner or later EVERYONE catches on if you let them do their thing. Especially if you show them strength and confidence and make them understand that you will no longer be their target. Then they move on to the next person who will soon understand the truth as well.
Be prepared everyday. Its a game. Get in their head and fucking win. But don’t let them know your playing. How do you score a point? REJECTION. The destruction of a narc is not public but internal. Inside them. Make them doubt themselves and fear approaching you through fear of.. REJECTION. Its their kryptonite. Their biggest fear. And thats why they go to insane levels of manipulation to get people to LIKE and ACCEPT them.
PS. Never give a narc information. Idc if its what’d you do this weekend? answer: idk. REJECTION. play stupid always to them. Make them believe you dont even know haha. Give them stupid reasons to talk shit about you. If they call for you, walk the other way and if they mention it, “oh didnt hear you” then walk away again. Interact with no emotion mostly polite but almost like you’re bored and uninterested. Make them feel exactly how they should. Like they deserve nothing. You’ll know your winning when they try to be nice and get information from you. Drive the hammer home with even more rejection. Then they will talk shit about you to everyone they can one last time and move on.
Hope it helps.
@@YoungGunner000
What exactly do I tell the boss - that my coworker is a narcissist? Tell the boss about the shady stuff he does when no one is looking?
@@dragonfish888nah dont say narcissist. Dont diagnose someone. Unless you’re very close to your boss and can have more candid conversations outside of a work environment. I would wait for your coworker to cross a line. Then immediately talk to your boss about your specific concerns. Calmly explain what just happened and then what has been happening and why you dont feel comfortable. Play it dumb a little, be relaxed and be simple and quick with your description. This will cause your manager to pay more attention and depending on what your coworker did, take action or not. If he doesn’t take action he will pay more attention and if it happens again you mention it again. This process is more about you building a good and credible relationship with your boss. So be calm, easy going and just express your concerns. Then change the subject and build a relationship with your boss. Dont complain. Good luck, have fun. Be confident. Be the leader that you wish you had in this situation
Assuming your boss is willing to do the right thing. Bosses are people and most people will do what is easier and let a narcissist get away with it, rather than hold them accountable.
Agreed. I’ve seen it time and time again. It’s especially helpful if the narc comes with social connects locally.
I’m going though this right now. This person is late every single day, and the office knows this but favors him cause they knows the materials to run the place better. This person has absolute power over what time I get to go home. If I continue to complain I will be going home for good.
Edit: @mmo_gamersage1910
Start a paper trail collecting evidence. If you have a Union go speak to your union rep. Skip going to management since they won’t do anything. If a manager then tries to remove you, let them know you already spoken with your union rep and its under investigation. (Buy a recorder and get every conversation especially phone calls, this might be risky so read your worksite handbook)
Step2- change your schedule to see less of this person. When the next person who takes the schedule ALSO starts complaining, together with what you’ve done he/she will be on checkmate and management will now see the problem and finally act on it.
Yup
devastating......I'm living it
My problem exactly !
I’m currently dealing with a narcissistic coworker, at the time writing this comment. And to make it worse, they are fixating on me and actively trying to get me fired for a complete accident. 💀
Thank you for sharing. I’m currently dealing with the same issue…a narc fixating on me. Getting others to talk about me, say out loud comments/names calling me a weirdo the b word. It’s UNBELIEVABLE!!!
I have a couple of coworkers like that at my work. They are constantly trying to boss everybody around. Gaslighting is their favorite thing. Our manager doesn't do anything about the whole situation. Some of our crew members have already given up and are taking orders from these narcissists. Others are trying very hard to ignore them. The workplace has become so toxic!
I think we work together
Same issue, I left. The supervisor worked offside 99 percent of the time, made it even easier for her to get away with it
Never be alone with them. Do not go to job sites with them. Do not be in rooms alone with them. Always have witnesses. They are prone to false accusations and potentially even violent attacks. Always record them when they try to physically approach you.
Observe don't absorb and once you know you go you get out and you stay out
Absolutely. The more I GOSO the easier it gets.
So true, else it may have deep effect on our health & life too.
Yes. They can dish it out, but they can't take it when someone dishes it out to them.
The worst is when the boss is narcissistic. Then there's no fairness or level headedness.
trust me......love turns to hate in a heartbeat.....be on alert with a narcissist, they do not care about you.....they only care about themselves, what they do and how they get what they want.
This guy who started at my job about two months ago, and is the most bloviating, arrogant showboating person I have ever met in my entire life and no one can stand him because he is such a know-it-all rude jerk. Anyway, last night he was closing, and I did some extra things that I didn’t have to do to help him and I pointed out something that I did just so he would know I did it and he didn’t need to… And he said, “try not to hurt your hand from patting yourself on the back so hard.”
Classic projection, and I almost fell over… I wish I would’ve clapped back, “well, you’re the expert, Sean… I’m surprised your hand is not permanently sprained” but I will be prepared for his ridiculous little narcissistic shots at me next time.
These people are so lacking in self-awareness it’s comical. 😂
Dont cast your pearls before swine. Since it is not appreciated, dont bother with helping the guy in the future. He will not understand why you changed your behavior towards him, nor that he caused it, but it will save you lots of aggravation in the long run. Just be correct & polite, nothing extra.
Emm.. any boss I’ve had had only seen me as the problem for not ‘being able to sort it out myself’
Yep, has been my experience as well. The only way to get the boss involved is when it directly affects them.
So: if your narc coworker messes up, let them - but cover your back so they can not put it on you when it wasnt your fault. Then let the boss deal with the mess the narc made... and make sure the narc cannot escape or put it on someone else. Otherwise there is zero accountability.
I do t think this girl is a narcissist but there’s this level of projecting her insecurities on other people. Yes she craves validation in how much she’s asking other workers about practically nothing. The first time she started she tried to get others to laugh with her at my hair, when that didn’t work she scoffed at me just giving her a compliment, I let it go and she seemed to understand but I knew something was wrong when I asked her a question and she completely flipped the question around and came back and said “you said the male supervisor told you something wasn’t his problem” my eyes got wide and I said noooo he didn’t say that and I didn’t tell you that. She tried to do a he said she say by putting this man in the wrong when he did nothing. And all I did was ask her something since he was too busy to help me. Idk how she pulled that out her ass. Then she started to project about my complexion with the female supervisor. I got tired of her today and told her how ugly her energy is how rat like and how weasel like she is. Then I went a little over bored because she rallied two other women to get the harassment going and I wasn’t going to let it go. I’m not going to speak to son but the boss is exceptional in just how they work and engage with the employees. When the problem was known… this girl who was into trying to covertly harass me was now crying and trying to push certain points of how I reacted to her. I feel so stupid for reacting because it’s what she wants. Idk wtf it is but it’s like they can smell positivity and they just want to snuff it out. It was so cliquish and she’s the ring leader. The other workers don’t care but the hair hat and the tall strange one was willing to be toxic with her. I’m too old to be checking people like that. But I don’t condone any kind of bullying and I feel it’s very spiritual because they pick and choose they don’t try just anybody.
Remember logic! No person on this planet has an opinion that really matters.
This is gospel
Damn, thanks for this. This is so precisely true about a new colleague and I know how to deal with them now. Thanks
I disagree with them knowing what they are. I think the main factor that differentiates a narcissist from an asshole is the narcissist believes their own lies and that nothing is their fault. It’s that delusion that makes them so difficult to deal with.
Just realized my internal client/director is a narcissist and playing with me for the past 5 months of projects I thought we were working together: stealing my work credits 100%, blaming everything including me for anything that isn’t working, not respecting me but just need me to do his team work, not accountable for anything for him and his manager (his manager is a mini version of him), love to show off and BS on anything for executives/management, using me as his filter for work and scapegoat.
My win win approach at work obviously doesn’t work here. Re strategizing to deal with this Narcissist…. Unfortunately, my priority to get projects done is no longer a priority. Ensuring his accountabilities, making sure management knows work I have done, and protecting myself at work are my priorities now.
5:46 exactly! When I confronted him I did all the work and used my weekend, he fought back and criticized that I want to claim credit….
I want update plz
thank you for the video , dealing with one now ....im stressed to the max
The boss who employed the narc is probably also one
They deal with me, I do not deal with them.
Well said … By the employer… Work extra to make up for their short fall. Simple… Quit the job…
I used to face this in the workplace I was at . I live in Australia, so it is here in
I was instinctively just minimizing contact, because if I exclude them directly I might be sent to HR. It is really, really difficult
well for me i chose the exit ! i ve had enough of their toxicity and the enabling boss. i just got myself out of there for the sake of my mental and physical health !
So I tried calling out one and I got annihilated
To them you are always wrong. They are always right. Bsst thing to do for you is ignore. Zero attention.
Omg I'm dealing with such a narcissist....
What should one do if the boss and additional bosses and colleagues are narcissists, that will invent lie reports to blame an employee for why the sales don’t go well?
Don’t engage unless absolutely necessary!!!! That’s that.
what about the ones that yell and scream at you over dumb shit on day 1
Drama and it's not worth it to watch it.. concentrate on me cz they are too irritating to focus on
What if your boss is crushing on said narcissist?😬
The boss will end up me tooed.
Stopped watching as soon as he called narcissist self centred. They are but it in turn causes them to be so centred on others behaviour towards themselves that it shows this person doesn't j ow the first thing about a narcissist or what terrible people they are in the office. The only way to protect yourself is to leave.
Share and subscribe? That's kind of narcissistic isn't it? Ok... so I won't!