Remember this. Your coworkers are not your friends. I am speaking from experience and learned the hard way. I come to work stay in my cubical and keep my Bluetooth on to play my music and podcasts from my phone to keep my sanity. I only talk to my colleagues if it is work related.
I think the worst co workers are the passive aggressive "bullies" using subtle things to make a person feel less than, but can't directly express themselves like a grown person. Meanwhile, the "nice ones".
At my job we have an assist manager that acts like this - she’s not even our am but harasses us. Very fake, micro aggressions and sometime flat out lying, never helps if we ask. But then she’ll turn around and buy us stuff like candy or little Knick knacks from the dollar store. It’s really weird - i figure she must be miserable in her personal life and you know the saying “misery loves company”
I have had to understand that me myself I have been passive aggressive at work when dealing with a coworker who micromanages everything I do, is super rude and is very bossy and has boasted about loving to boss people around. There's been times I have just stopped speaking to her outright, kept my distance and limited taking in her opinions to protect my peace for myself but it's so hard to keep that up, it's so depressing you have to act like someone is a ghost which is stupid after not saying anything . After coming home depressed again from having to tolerate such behaviour, there is no way around this but to be direct. I didn't realise I was being passive aggressive but I have been and it's not working. Time to start being direct.
I have this type of co worker who would complain about how I work even if I don't know the proper or most efficient way. He would always complain about me when I try to do something like this. I reported him back in January to my boss and since then we had beef with each other.
I find it really tough I have to change my whole personality in order to be treated fairly at work. Ridiculous. And I've seen it all from all kinda of people. I really think people are just bullies and will do anything to make others feel like they don't belong.
@@aegisreflector1239 that is human nature sadly. I've dealt with this for a lot of years. As you get more comfortable with yourself, usually come with age, you see the signs of a toxic person, because you have seen the pattern before, you purposely avoid their acquaintance. You their do your job, and leave. Too slippery of a slope. Keep coworkers out of your personal life.
@@bokccraigatron007 exactly. We are all free agents. Set up your life so you can do whatever you want and not have to rely on dysfunctional workplaces. Make it so you are only there because you want to be, not because you have to.
True, but sometimes it's better to learn how to deal. It won't do any good running at the first sign of trouble. Enduring builds endurance (within reason).
@@ledam2654 This is def a part if job skill now. How to « cope » is the learning curve. So many ppl enjoy getting a rise bc of racial, social, or ego demographics/dynamics. The work culture now is less of boomers and older so, the entitled and aggressive abound.
Co workers are the fakest people you would ever encounter. When I come to work I’m there to do my job and go home not 100% small talking behind people’s back all day. These people are not your friends or family!
I now know that I have to go to work and be around them today I left early Thursday called out Friday and now it's Monday and I have to work with them 😭😭😭😭
My husband said the best way to get toxic people crazy, absolutely raving mad, is to completely ignore them. Don’t respond when they speak, head nods are ok. Don’t join conversations they’re in, and don’t give in to their crazy…. When they get pissed, stay calm. When they take it to another level, stay calm. Let them bury themselves
It honestly does work lol. I completely ignored the girl at my job who constantly picks on me passive aggressively. I remain friendly and be myself to other people, but when she is around, i dont even acknowledge her and i can tell it bothers her… hell, she even started to say “bye” to me when she leaves. usually she would roll her eyes when i would courteously say it to her. 🤷🏽♀️ Even then, i still don’t answer to her 😂 keeping my job, my peace, AND my sanity.
People get mad when you just go to work and do your job. I have noticed when I go in and do not take and try to get to know people the problems seen to occur faster. Also, letting people know they are bothering you especially if you are new crested problems too. Can't win for losing
I'm dealing with this now I had my manger to talked to us today, keep you in mind I'm just doing my job & minding my business, lately he's been looking for attention he's the only one who's had a problem with me for no reason. Everyone else is fine I get a long great him... Idk
I'm dealing with this right now. I am two months into my new job and trying to prove myself in my new role. One of my co-workers is starting to become increasingly hostile and condescending to me as the months go along and my "newness" starts wearing off. It's hard pushing back because I don't want to be a burden as the new guy or be difficult, so I just take the verbal abuse. I just want to do my job and do it well. It's a tough spot to be in because if I don't establish boundaries, I have allowed this co-worker to treat me this way. But if I do establish boundaries, it might look bad on me since I want to be an easy person to work with for my co-workers and boss, so they don't regret hiring me or let me go after my 90-day "probationary period".
Isn’t it ironic when these talkative people slacking off laughing on their cells then turn on you and act like you’re performing too slow or can’t life a 200lb item like a feather? But they break their own ethics and rules in the workplace
This that one!!!! I always been this way at every job. I’ve been here at this job 8 years and they say how do u do that ? I say do what come to work and not socialize with people smh I don’t have to talk to no one. I come here to get my money and go home. I say hello how you’re doing and goodbye my friends are outside of this gob🤦🏽♀️
Doesn’t matter where you go to work. If you have coworkers. Your always going to have that 1 person you either don’t like or don’t get along with. My dad always told me that.
True but you can find jobs where you're more on your own or not required to spend your day with them. If you don't like your team for whatever reason find a new one. You're dad's a old boomer bad behavior shouldn't be allowed at work. Sometimes the boss is abusive himself and keeps other narcs for favoritism and money. That's more of a leadership and boss problem.
@@1ronmad1n the straw that broke my back is people not taking my safety into consideration working on a roof I had 2 narcissists working above me while I'm the clean up b. I would accidentally touch the hose and get it ripped up my ass cheeks. Time to quit and save myself integrity and honor. Cleaning up people's snot rockets cigarette butts and food wrappers cans of soda. I'm so happy to be done.
I definitely am going to focus 100% on my job now. I will not socialize at all. I will be cordial but nothing more. Because the more you interact the worse it will get. They will say I did something or said something awful. It is better to just be to myself and let them attack but no response. They will win and they know they will.
That's exactly what I'm going through and have tried that approach but ended up being called in. Apparently I cause "hostility" in the office if I keep to myself
@@mbalenhlesibeko9493 me too, I don't understand how that works??? How does me keeping to myself cause hostility, I thought being confrontational was the hostile approach
I wish I didn't need to even look this up. The 2 women I work with are so toxic and miserable. They talk to each other but I don't exist. I think they hate themselves.
Same here. Put my earbuds in & ignore them all now. Do my job which doesn't require much conversation amongst although they still bother me with them on. They finally see now I'm not interested in socializing with them & try to pull me back in but it's no longer working. In process of finding another job and to maintain my peace of mind will remain steadfast & pray about it like always.
@Blessedfavouredmaggie of Christ ALWAYS go into a job with an exit plan; keep applying for jobs even after you accept a job offer. Keep feeding a well-funded emergency fund and have a side hustle.
Yeah me too. I almost quit my job today. I've been "dealt with" by my boss who thought it would be good to demote me-all while keeping the same pay. Now tell me if that being handled with kid gloves at 30 doesn't make you feel confident in your work.. Edit: That was sarcasm lol
As am i, and it is not the first time. I am in a position to peer others' work, and the person resents that I point out her mistakes for correction, so is talking trash about me behind her back. I caught her at it today when she sent me a message intended for someone else.
I had those, the ones that bites the dust. Those were the best days of my life. 😂😊 Now I got another Demon coming after me.😂 I'm like when is she going to flee.😂😂🙏🏽
Yeah, my miserable Supervisor said she was leaving pretty soon. That was December last year. What’s the hold up? It’s gonna be December and 4 months 🤦🏽♀️
They dont have to like me but I dont want to go in and have people discussing my personal life everyday and finding ways to insult me every minute. We dont have to be friends or like each other but dont try to beat me up every day.
I have a co worker one minute ask me how my weekend was and then and hour later drop a joke on me in front of the whole office using that information. This person once offered to let me go home earlier and they'd cover the office. The first thing I heard coming in Monday was, This person to my whole office: "There's the slacker! He left before I did I Friday".
@@amnfox ignore it. I am going through it with the police right now. they seem to think they can attack me. well let them go ahead i know it is them doing all of this sh*t. but I am not going to feed in with them
I'm dealing with this now I've work at I've just mind my business & doing my work then all of a sudden my coworkers had a problem with me for the smallest little thing just bc things doesn't go his way To the point that the manger had step in to talk to us when he's mainly the main issues I can't seem to win or “ please “him
I know right I swear I come happy to work but then that toxic coworker starts with their toxic attitude idk why they can’t leave me alone they don’t have to like me but just be respectful
@@amnfox I have a coworker just like that. She'd tell people to go on break earlier and not to rush back because she can cover up and finish the rest of the work for them. Then soon after while the person is gone she'd tell our manager that the person went on break earlier without finishing up their job, then she times the person's break and again tells the manager that they're taking longer breaks. Always trying to help others and saying they're lazy behind their backs and that she has to finish the tasks for them. Then our dept. manager and store manager idolize her and believe everything that comes out of her mouth.
I let the toxic coworker know they were disrespectful--and THEN they did it again the next day. This is how I knew this person was, in fact, just a BAD PERSON. They piled it on more when they knew it upset me. So I brought in the boss. We had a group meeting about it and this person impeached themselves during the meeting and showed the boss themselves that they are willing to lie to cover up things. The boss noticed this person's self-impeachment, and then they were forced to "prove" that they are actually an honest and nice person. They were only able to keep that up for a few weeks. Now they're back to being mean and disrespectful to others (but too terrified to mess with me again). But, I have heard that they complain to one person that it's "not fair that everyone says that they talk badly about everyone". Um, excuse me, ma'am, but it's the truth, it's what you do, and if you don't want people to say it about you then you could change that about yourself and fix it.
Totally impractical to follow someone if in a front line job and the job needs training they won't have as a Hr employee..... Report if you wish it will highlight a problem and then that problem will become "you"....even though its not fair keeping your head down ride the storm these nasty colleagues often move on to another if you don't react. They focus on you because they get a supply.....don't be it...
I had a highly toxic coworker who treated me like her underling instead of her equal. We both have the same job. This situation got so bad that I transferred to another sales team. It was a bad situation that was no longer tolerable. I am much happier now since making that decision.
I just watched a video that recommended NOT going to HR, because HR's role is to protect the company therefore they are not likely to be of any assistance.
HR's role is to protect the company which is stated in the video, however, it's ultimately your choice what you believe to be the best course of action based off of your circumstances and situation. Many companies also have special retention or employee satisfaction teams which tend to have better solutions.
often HR just gets highly defensive and criticizes you, gas lights you. trying to out-work and out-think your coworker might be better. my coworkers slack a lot and although I know I am often doing their job for them, I also know that people notice who is doing what and who *can* do what because she knows how (because she cared enough to learn).
It’s so tough at work. My job that I recently started, people are so rude. Smile in my face and talk behind my back. I think I know the mastermind in behind the gossip. I keep my head up and try to stay strong. I have bills to pay so I can’t quit, but it’s stressful dealing with it everyday. People are fake at work. For Real.
@@AlwayysBeKind learn to find ways of not answering nosy questions: stay too busy for people to ask questions, say "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" in a cute way, maybe even gasp dramatically and say "You don't expect me to answer such a personal question, do you?!" Test many replies and learn to tailor them depending on who is asking. Some troublemakers will bait you, then take your words out of context to make trouble for you and may even report you anonymously so that you are never given a chance to defend yourself. Learn/know more about your job and do more so that they cannot destroy you. You can also pretend to be shy. Women can be the worst about trying to hurt other coworkers!
@@genkiferal7178 Thank you so much for giving me some good advice. I actually am a very shy person and people assume that by me not talking that I’m rude or stuck up, but that’s far from the truth. I end up talking about small things to people to try and show my kind side, but then I’m like why did I tell them that, especially with me knowing they don’t like me. It’s people here at this job that act so unkind to me and I still don’t understand why they act that way to me. I’ll come in and keep to myself and literally do my job. I’m super stressed at this job, but I have to pay the bills.
I’m at a toxic work environment and this Team Lead is a petty person. She is afraid that I’m going to take her job away. One little slip up she immediately went to the supervisor and told her what I did. I just hope I will not knock her out before resigning!
I can’t go to anyone. They knew they were in the wrong so had to immediately cover their tracks and distort what factually occurred. I’m still on probation and these people know how to put on masks. I don’t care anymore. Our Heavenly Father will remove me when it’s time for me to go. Even if I end up not working there anymore, they’ll never understand how I’m the real winner because they couldn’t take away my ambition, integrity, willingness to help others and most of all, my self confidence. Oh, and I suffer from anxiety, depression and got out of an abusive situation but still came to work trying to help someone else. Never stoop to their level, ever. Eventually the false image they painted of you will disappear when people see who you are for themselves.
There's so much documentation in HR from my co workers.. Literally stacks of papers. All it is is a paper trail. All HR has ever done is question the bully and nothing ever gets resolved because there's no witnesses. It usually last two weeks, then the person is back to their attitude again. It's been going on for years and years..Nothing ever gets better
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you find the strength to find a new job so tou can look forward to the day you no longer have to share a space with that person.
@⟬Emmanuelle⟭ That's illegal and could damage any chance in obtaining legal counsel if needed. Better to create a paper trail by following up a meeting with an email stating facts as you understand them with a delivery and read receipt.
Honestly my husband said the exact same thing. It's been going on since the dawn of time for mankind. They enjoy tearing you down instead of building one another up. It's a terrible cycle. Which will never stop. Keep your cool, don't give any personal info and just be quiet. Don't say anything. I've been dealing with toxic ppls at every job and it's not worth your time or mentality to deal with their issues. It's their problem. Not ours.
You can be 100% right, and 100% fired. Reading between the lines, when it comes to the workplace, is a matter of value. How much value do you bring to the company where your continuing employment benefits the company's bottom line.
Value is an operative word. Value to some degree should be weighted equally. You should bring value to the company but if the value you bring is not valuable to the company, then you are in the wrong place.
I have this problem at my job this guy i work with talks about me behind my back and he is in my face like everything is cool, but i keep my composure. But i am glad i have a interview at another job wish me luck.
Been at my new job for 4 months and I have identified why everyone has left or is quitting. Its a dysfunctional team but its one person in particular who is an aggressive, unprofessional and just a down right jerk. I called out the jerks aggressiveness to my boss and I was told not to retaliate to rock the boat. Now I know thats how the team works, and we are all ignoring the jerks behaviour, I feel like its a toxic unsafe workplace and Ive started looking for something else.
I went through this and kept A paper trail as well as email texts. In the end, I sued the company and won because they refused to do something about the situation.
I just started a new job and the person who is training me is acting rude to me. She doesn't want to train me and the job is pretty fast pace. I am trying to learn but this person is being very impatient with me. And I have no choice to work with her.
Same scenario but theres only 2 people at a time. there are NO others to help. Just reached out about possibly changing hours. I dont care if they sack me honestly. 6 weeks and im already spent. little kid is jealous and insecure. @@HaylesConsultingCareerCoach
That haircut looks radiant on you btw. I try to stay neutral when I have toxic colleagues. It’s really not fun when that happens. It’s always fun to have colleagues we get along with.
I've had problems with both men and women and people of different races and weights and classes/backgrounds. But, people can have a heard time with siblings, their kids, spouses, etc. I still prefer to work with men, though, because they are more direct and that saves me time and energy.
I’ve learned to just ignore them and pray. It takes more energy than I have to prove taunting sometimes. Just don’t ask me to be at the holiday party or out for lunch sweeties lol
Yes corporate hr. Don't protect workers. They don't really listen. That's why supervisors get away with bullying because they know they can get away with it. So telling your Manger or hr is a waste of time. Get a lawyer. Or advocate.
Hr. Take money out union dues. And don't Do anything. We're being rob blind. I have a job. And my hr representive haven't help me since I've been at my job for 22 years. It's all a scam. That's why people get tired of workplace bullies. They don't know how serious it could be suicide rate is high. I know some people tired of being Bully at work. And come back with a gun. This real life.
Thank you! I had to set these boundaries with my coworker. I only been working at the location for 7 months. And the things he did and still doing annoys. Never responsibilities for his own actions. Than blaming me for his own screw ups.
I am a 25 year old working in elderly care and have been recently assigned a new co-worker. She has to learn me the ropes since we're handling a new system. I went in to work all happy and excited, when I came back home I bawled my eyes out. I love being nice to coworkers, helping them and making jokes, what once was my safe space is now the space i hate to be at. This one miserable lady took all of that excitement out of me. She is feeling superior because I'm the youngster there, I'm doing everything wrong and she won't give me the light of day to explain things to me because she things I'm too dumb to understand them anyway. She rolls her eyes at me, gossips with coworkers about me, she sighs when she sees me and the list goes on. Once I even said apologized to her(??) and she didn't even answer me. The sad thing is I even got FOUR co workers coming up to me that they have experienced or seen the bullying happening and say I have to stand up for myself, but I can't since I'm honestly afraid of her. I find it so cruel that one person ruined my whole working experience where I LOVED to be at. Now I'm quitting in a month because I can't take the stress anymore.
Hi I understand what you going through and I don't blame you for leaving, some people would not leave but toxic people like that in the work can break your spirit n and steal your peace of mind. I am going through a toxic situation at work and am also going to find a new job, reason for me not even telling my boss won't help because they trust her with all the companies things. I think when you leave your job type out your resignation letter and add another letter to your boss explaining reasons for you leaving and how horrible that person made you feel with all her toxic behavior. Also saying that if it wasn't for her you would have stayed but just tell a little bit about the situation, what have you got to lose, you leaving that job never to return.Maybe the next person coming in your place won't be treated so shitty. Stay blessed 🙏
I won't acknowledge a person's "sorry" if I think it isn't genuine, if I think they were lying or slacking and have no intention of changing. I refuse to lie by saying, "No problem" or "It's okay" if I know she'll keep acting the same say.
That's totally not the point i was trying to make. I was saying sorry to her because i thought she hated me, not because i was doing anything wrong. She was just miserable herself.
Almost two years later since this post and i can say, DO NOT accept an unsafe work environment. Try to work things out with said person or with a boss but If that doesn't work or it's too difficult, get the hell out of there. Getting to a different job has been the best decision i ever made. My new job is like family to me, i love to come there on my days off and we treat each other with the respect we deserve. Wouldn't trade it for the world!
I have the toxic duo-manager and coworker in cahoots against me. If they cared about my feelings they wouldn't do the crazy things they do. Dishonesty and conceit are apparently habits that are hard for toxic people to break. Thank you so much for helping me stand in my truth while having to deal with them daily. You are awesome!
My co worker is sneeky sod and i told him that to his face from that point on I refused to talk with him unless unless the conversation was job related I avoided him as much as possible its the only way to deal with toxic people it made a difference as i feel less stressed he got the message and stopped talking to me too and as far as I was concerned I would not want it any other way.
In the last 5yrs +- I have seen the absolutely worse people in management than ever before. Also companies don't show the employees that they appreciate you anymore, they are concentrated on numbers only.
No what I need help with is dealing with impossible coworkers and managers that don’t care how you feel. You don’t bother anyone you stay to yourself but girls who don’t know you gossip about you or start stuff with you. And the manager is going to believe them because it’s 10 of them and one of you.
Mobbing sucks. They are narcissistic individuals. Only way to deal with them is to disengage as much as possible, transfer to another department and/or find another job. There is NO winning with these evil demons. They'll steal your time, energy and joy.
It’s called coping skills, need to learn them, life is too beautiful to let any person or group tarnish my excitement. My greatest fear is God applying justice to mean people, I have seen it so many times, I truly believe it. People are mean because that person is lonely and want attention, but don’t have the ability to find it. Please be safe
This is very helpful. I try to be fair as a lead/manager. People suck to the point where it comes to arguments and nut-checking phrases almost to where we physically fight. My micromanaging boss just lets it happen.
I dont believe my manager or supervisor can stop them from the attacks. I know they will come for me regardless but I am not going to take it personal I will just ignore it. Life goes on
@@dystanysam9896it's not the coworker it's your boss. They chose to keep these toxic people employed at the expense of new hires because they are afraid but in reality they could probably replace toxic worker with someone better. These are usually small rigamarole toxic companies and bosses.
@@geodude6244 yes, it almost always boils down to management. But, do give your boss a chance to correct the situation by telling them exactly what happened or is happening. If the toxic person isn't fired immediately, she still might be after several complaints.
I had covid a while back and I have to say I'd rather have covid than be at my job. The only bad thing was I didn't have any personal time left to use for pay
This was the topic I needed help with … my car was actually vandalized by a toxic coworker and I had no proof … This happens to people more than it should … without emails or proof, what is the best way to handle situations such as rude comments without you being the “problem Karen” ???? Like HR thinking “here she comes again” complaining even though it’s valid!!
Thanks for this video. I remember when l was a dishwasher and my coworkers was blaming me and making me feel horrible over something that l didn't do.😩😩
Laugh at them. The most effect way to deal with toxic co-workers is to kill them with kindness. I'm currently dealing with a 65 year old boomer that gives me shit about nearly everything I do. I found the most effective way to put this man in his place is to just treat him like the princess he is. Never let anyone disrespect you in the workplace scew them, if they've got a problem ask them up front what's going on and shut them down immediately.
What frustrates me the most, is I've brought the actions of a toxic co worker to my manager's attention. Somehow I'm the one who needs to accept his asshole behavior. New job time, someone hire me already!
Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way as well. Two very dirty witches. If, only I wasn’t such a nice person..They would never see the light of day ever again..I have to have faith that god will handle those two devils in the best way possible..
Oh my gosh I deal with something like this to. Everytime an altercation happens between me and my toxic coworkers I get so mad and think the worst things like I wanna punch them and call them the worst names ever. But I get scared that god will be mad at me but I know he’ll deal with them later on.
it boils down to management. Managers play favorites and often reward the people who suck up to them or who are most similar to them. Case by case, but quitting might be your best bet. Write a long polite letter about why when you leave - not negative enough to result in your getting bad reviews from your employer, though, when other jobs call for referrals.
Thank you Brittany. This video was so spot on & informative. Unlike other videos you got right to the important points & brought actual solutions to the table & I will be using them immediately!
Most likely you going to have problems everywhere you go have to address it you don’t know who can stop it on that person can get fired because I’m not quitting my job especially if it pays good
What if an assistant manager is acting Hostile towards me or mad at me cause of one mistake like she thinks I'm ignorant or forgetful and honestly I am forgetful but her treating me like a damn child makes me blow up like a volcano !
Whew, I have the same problem with someone that is just training us for a while, she's not even a supervisor. I'm trying not to blow up as well and just quit bc I don't "need the job" just wanted something to do and extra pocket money. It's easy to say forget it but I need to learn how to endure through the tough times.
She's threatened by you, afraid you'll take her job or surpass her. She knows exactly what she's doing and you losing your temper is exactly what she wants- so that you will get fired or quit. Stop falling for her tactics, please. Document every interaction and acquire tons of evidence before reporting her.
thanks for great advice! i will set boundary and keep things professional , keep as much distance from toxic coworker whenever i can, she loves gossiping , giving me strange reactions when I talk to her, it always feels like summer break whenever I got off from work or during weekends , LOL!
Your theories/Knowledge will let the victim have more problems.... Reporting mostly isnt the best option. Reporting without digital or non digital evidence will send the victim having more negative reasons for people/circumstances working against him/her....
This is facts I just went to my supervisor about a co worker and since I revealed the things she’s done to me the co worker said out of her mouth in front of the supervisor “well I didn’t have a problem with you before , but I do now” to me and the supervisor acted as if she didn’t care I’m over this place taking as many days as I can off it’s not worth my mental health
Thanks so much! I work with a lot of women! I stood up to a bully and before I knew it, that bully had all the nicer coworkers gas lighting also! 😢 I’ve been miserable, my manager complains she doesn’t have time, that I need to go talk to that person. I’m so upset that I don’t realize to write it down. But I have written some down, and I’ll continue to do that and follow the rest of your advice! Tytyty
4:54 exactly where I’m at. My coworker got so bad that she threw my papers on the floor and giggled, slapped me in the back of the head when I’d mess up or make a mistake, and my boss hasn’t done a single thing.
Phone the cops and have them come to your workplace. Tell them you are being physically abused. You will then have a police report as proof if they decide do nothing or to fire you ;-) Never let ANYONE hit you.
A new coworker of mine just strikes me as off. He's too smooth and too quick to be buddy buddy with managers, etc. The type that has a better and more interesting story whenever someone's talking about something they've experienced. I think they'll be exposed for being just hot air eventually but that doesn't stop me from getting extremely annoyed whenever he walks past my desk, looks at my screen, and then just has to try and say something 'hilarious' about whatever I'm doing.
I’ve come from a variety of fields and the one thing that continued to occur in the past is escalation, no matter the level of good intentions. You’re playing the game that a toxic person expects you to play. Managers are not always going to be leaders, and they don’t always know how to handle a situation. I’ve become more honest and straightforward about what I will not accept, and which is effective, and this helps, but the one thing I encourage is that you not hesitate to find something better whenever the opportunity arises. Do not inform most of these people about your potential departure either. Don’t think of these people as friends or family Be decisive This is your livelihood You should not be stressing as you take care of that which should nurture you Be well and be safe Be the reason why work culture changes for the better
What if it’s the trainer? They talk disrespectfully and are very frustrated while training you and roll their eyes and the boss likes them a lot and they have more experience and you’re new? And you never spoke rudely and you’re a nice person and ho doesn’t like comfrontation and loves peace over conflict?
Great contents. I had a toxic coworker who bullied my manager (mean jokes and being sarcastic) but no one reported this to the director. I now feel very sad we didn’t do that. But I’ve left the firm already, and i know my manager was thinking of leaving too…
I’m having a situation with 2 people at work as well I don’t talk to anyone or bother anyone I work and go home and these two people continue to talk about me and stare and mug me to the point I had to get leadership and managers involved Im literally just trying to stay at this job so I can get through school with the job paying for it and seem like obstacles are trying to get in the way right now
These jobs have very little care about treating their employees fairly. So one thing i learned, out of my 40 years, is that to go in do your job and clock out. Don't go the extra mile for them too much, like if they keep asking can you work double shift or something. Remember most of us do more work than what we get paid...so be fair to yourself, its ok and most of us go through bullying and harrassment on the job just to get a paycheck, so be fair to yourself.
I actually changed jobs. I heard this and frankly i actually had to change my job. My toxic co worker had his nerve. He was arrested for raping some man. He himself served 10 years for doing it. And he was always at work getting into arguments with me. I just ended up finding a job and leaving. I made 20 on that job, but now i make 28 on this job, double time on Sunday. The only downside is this job is 7 days a week. So ill make a 100k if i like it or not. I actually work by myself now and frankly in charge of a lot more things. My health insurance premium is paid cause i work for the state, and i get a pension, 457b and an HSA. I just couldn't take it anymore. Everyday they were trying to cost me my job so i told my manager at a meeting. Everyone was shocked but i wouldn't tell them where i went. I removed myself from that problem and i did it smoothly. I always got along with HR but sometimes you have to move jobs.
Actually its really hard to manage to avoid your toxic coworker, sometimes by seeing them makes my day ruin at the bad thing for me is my face emotion cannot hide what I feel for that toxic coworker 😢
Honestly I left my job of 3 weeks today because this dude my age (23) has been there for 2 years and he didn’t like me since day 1 we both good looking dudes no homo lol and he just never spoke to me and today he decides to pull a face when I make 1 mistake and I told him what’s the problem long story short he tries to take it outside and I won’t lie I said I ain’t fighting I ain’t a confrontational person. But it sucked because I know all the other co workers knew he was treating me wrong yet they didn’t say anything and was treating and talking to him like normal but it is what it is , the job was a warehouse so it’s got them sort of people in it plus I live in London doesn’t help at all. But I learned from this that at 23 years old I need to fix my life and boss up ! Time to put in the work on myself and also find another job
One thing I’d love for people to realize, if you just started a job and within less than a couple of weeks you find yourself needing to complain about everything… leave! I think supervises and management needs to know and get those people out. They will cause the others to get distracted and the poison will spread. No one is making that individual stay. They should just leave. But they don’t and now, even better yet, management gives in and actually tries to changes policies/rules that don’t benefit anyone really, just them. Just because the bosses are too afraid to be called a racist or a homophobe.
What about if I'm the only newbie. And some of them keeps being toxic to me. Im afraid to get awkward i'll always be alone if i gave that person a threat. Because she they're friend
In any situation where you feel people are being rude to you - you should always stand up for yourself and standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you’re “rude” it means your confident and honest! 🙌🏾
@@HaylesConsultingCareerCoach thankyou and i also feel that they are so interested in my private life. Which sometimes i feel uncomfortable when they're asking me. I'll try to stand up next time
hr is best friends with the secretary. I am new. I am a senior. 😊massive experience. I am passionate about what I do. Praying by saying thank you God for this job 😊 Secretary is very cruel to me. The more I try the more she seems to literally hate me 😢 Thank you for this video!
I've only been at my new job 2 week's. But ever since joining, this coworker has been giving off this OFF energy and behaviour towards me. Not really uttered a word to her tbh. That person tried to tell me that I was moving slow. So I asked them why that person was being aggy towards me?. Then the way that person proceeded to slam things around, and act stroppy towards me. Just BC I'm new, doesn't mean, I'm gonna stay absolutely silent,when someone crosses the line. However I will try to say it in the most respectful way possible
Totally agree! You don’t have to just sit back because you’re new. Providing feedback as early as possible is always best. Hope things get better for you soon 🙏🏾
If your boss is toxic and a jerk and your organization has a Union call your business representative of your union, the more calls made to your union rep about the harrassments made to you by a toxic boss, will eventually get the toxic boss fired even HR will get tired of the calls coming in for the toxic boss.
I’m dealing with this now, I worked at a hotel one of my coworkers is very toxic bc I'm just doing my job now it's gotten to the point when the manger had came in for no reason it's wasn't even my fault to being with
Been on this job for 6 weeks & know about the few that are messy, always negative & toxic. I used to talk to them but don't anymore. 1 is a male that flirts often & says inappropriate things & touched me inappropriately & it took me by surprise. I'm a very blunt person but decided to just stay away from him. They have been trying to purposely do things so he will quit eventually. He keeps up a lot of mess, gossips more than the females & his girlfriend works there too. They both seem miserable & will talk about other people all day & whoever joins in they won't stop. Had planned on quitting anyway for other reasons & won't until I find something else. I'm strong & tough enough to ignore them until then. It's uncomfortable for them now because they can't figure out why I don't talk to them. Pray they both leave because the male is hard to work with & loves drama. Wonder about him 🤣 being a 'sus" & trying to cover it up with his girlfriend being there.
Yesterday on shift I was madly disgusted by an insecure girl and a witch. I felt like she was really invading my privacy. I work for a month as a waitress and work with 21 year olds and of course at first everything was Charming and nice and the most annoying thing I thought we were "friends" and I shared with them personal things " But then jealousy and eye trouble began, that they saw a girl with a beautiful presence with confidence and just level above them. The regular and new customers really impress and fly over me and leave me a personal tip even though they are divided equally Meaningless comments on how to work simply do not make sense, Who covered the tray and went through the plans I had written and it just put me in shock and disgust I just do not know what closes with such girls Ihhs it just repulsive it's my discharge I just loathe it hahaha And Bali so much to take her down and humiliate her at work And I'm just like on the one hand NEXT you go looking for a little insecure girl and on the other hand the bitch messed with the wrong bitch. And Bali rode back to her What to do??? Because they do not treat me like that !!!!
Remember this. Your coworkers are not your friends. I am speaking from experience and learned the hard way. I come to work stay in my cubical and keep my Bluetooth on to play my music and podcasts from my phone to keep my sanity. I only talk to my colleagues if it is work related.
What if you actually have to work with your co workers, and one of them are rude to you? Like send you a nasty email?
I’m definitely gonna follow this rule!
@Contessa 54 Yes. Very True; I agree💯‼️
I tried this and got my hours cut because it was “mean” to keep to myself and only talk/interact about work
Omg Yesss I totally agree
I think the worst co workers are the passive aggressive "bullies" using subtle things to make a person feel less than, but can't directly express themselves like a grown person. Meanwhile, the "nice ones".
I agree, you said it with the right words
I agree I just advised my manager about my coworker.
At my job we have an assist manager that acts like this - she’s not even our am but harasses us. Very fake, micro aggressions and sometime flat out lying, never helps if we ask. But then she’ll turn around and buy us stuff like candy or little Knick knacks from the dollar store. It’s really weird - i figure she must be miserable in her personal life and you know the saying “misery loves company”
I have had to understand that me myself I have been passive aggressive at work when dealing with a coworker who micromanages everything I do, is super rude and is very bossy and has boasted about loving to boss people around. There's been times I have just stopped speaking to her outright, kept my distance and limited taking in her opinions to protect my peace for myself but it's so hard to keep that up, it's so depressing you have to act like someone is a ghost which is stupid after not saying anything . After coming home depressed again from having to tolerate such behaviour, there is no way around this but to be direct. I didn't realise I was being passive aggressive but I have been and it's not working. Time to start being direct.
I have this type of co worker who would complain about how I work even if I don't know the proper or most efficient way. He would always complain about me when I try to do something like this. I reported him back in January to my boss and since then we had beef with each other.
I find it really tough I have to change my whole personality in order to be treated fairly at work. Ridiculous. And I've seen it all from all kinda of people. I really think people are just bullies and will do anything to make others feel like they don't belong.
So true ! I feel the same way.
Every single job Iv ever been at, people are all the same, narcissistic bullies.
It's unfortunate. If you didn't, you lose. I had to learn this the hard way.
@@aegisreflector1239 that is human nature sadly. I've dealt with this for a lot of years. As you get more comfortable with yourself, usually come with age, you see the signs of a toxic person, because you have seen the pattern before, you purposely avoid their acquaintance.
You their do your job, and leave. Too slippery of a slope. Keep coworkers out of your personal life.
Lol them mcdonald hoes wierd asfk
A good boundary for a toxic coworker is to remember they do not pay your mortgage.
And they don’t own you because at the end of the we’re all individuals that want to be treated with respect.
@@bokccraigatron007 exactly. We are all free agents. Set up your life so you can do whatever you want and not have to rely on dysfunctional workplaces. Make it so you are only there because you want to be, not because you have to.
My advice is to find another job before you die from stress🤦🏾♀️
That’s honestly the best case scenario in many situations but sometimes easier said then done 🥴
Amen. I’m looking for a job now! I can’t take this toxic environment one more second.
True, but sometimes it's better to learn how to deal. It won't do any good running at the first sign of trouble. Enduring builds endurance (within reason).
@@ledam2654
This is def a part if job skill now. How to « cope » is the learning curve. So many ppl enjoy getting a rise bc of racial, social, or ego demographics/dynamics. The work culture now is less of boomers and older so, the entitled and aggressive abound.
AMEN
Co workers are the fakest people you would ever encounter. When I come to work I’m there to do my job and go home not 100% small talking behind people’s back all day. These people are not your friends or family!
I now know that
I have to go to work and be around them today
I left early Thursday called out Friday and now it's Monday and I have to work with them 😭😭😭😭
@@michellesmith4527 turn the tables! Make them have to be around someone that doesn’t take their crap!
My husband said the best way to get toxic people crazy, absolutely raving mad, is to completely ignore them. Don’t respond when they speak, head nods are ok. Don’t join conversations they’re in, and don’t give in to their crazy…. When they get pissed, stay calm. When they take it to another level, stay calm. Let them bury themselves
Yes. I'm sick of the advice to confront them, as if they're honest. You might as well just ask them to abuse you more.
@@deconstructing7307agree. That always seem to make it worse
Yep, especially if you are new and they worked there long time and friendly with the boss🤨
It honestly does work lol. I completely ignored the girl at my job who constantly picks on me passive aggressively. I remain friendly and be myself to other people, but when she is around, i dont even acknowledge her and i can tell it bothers her… hell, she even started to say “bye” to me when she leaves. usually she would roll her eyes when i would courteously say it to her. 🤷🏽♀️
Even then, i still don’t answer to her 😂 keeping my job, my peace, AND my sanity.
People get mad when you just go to work and do your job. I have noticed when I go in and do not take and try to get to know people the problems seen to occur faster. Also, letting people know they are bothering you especially if you are new crested problems too. Can't win for losing
I'm dealing with this now I had my manger to talked to us today, keep you in mind I'm just doing my job & minding my business, lately he's been looking for attention he's the only one who's had a problem with me for no reason.
Everyone else is fine I get a long great him... Idk
I'm dealing with this right now. I am two months into my new job and trying to prove myself in my new role. One of my co-workers is starting to become increasingly hostile and condescending to me as the months go along and my "newness" starts wearing off. It's hard pushing back because I don't want to be a burden as the new guy or be difficult, so I just take the verbal abuse. I just want to do my job and do it well. It's a tough spot to be in because if I don't establish boundaries, I have allowed this co-worker to treat me this way. But if I do establish boundaries, it might look bad on me since I want to be an easy person to work with for my co-workers and boss, so they don't regret hiring me or let me go after my 90-day "probationary period".
I kind of feel like I’m in a similar situation to yours and I feel the same . Stay strong friend!
Isn’t it ironic when these talkative people slacking off laughing on their cells then turn on you and act like you’re performing too slow or can’t life a 200lb item like a feather? But they break their own ethics and rules in the workplace
This that one!!!! I always been this way at every job. I’ve been here at this job 8 years and they say how do u do that ? I say do what come to work and not socialize with people smh I don’t have to talk to no one. I come here to get my money and go home. I say hello how you’re doing and goodbye my friends are outside of this gob🤦🏽♀️
Doesn’t matter where you go to work. If you have coworkers. Your always going to have that 1 person you either don’t like or don’t get along with. My dad always told me that.
True but you can find jobs where you're more on your own or not required to spend your day with them. If you don't like your team for whatever reason find a new one. You're dad's a old boomer bad behavior shouldn't be allowed at work. Sometimes the boss is abusive himself and keeps other narcs for favoritism and money. That's more of a leadership and boss problem.
Mine too!! That’s why I’m still in my hell. I know it could be worse but I really think it could be better.
@@1ronmad1n the straw that broke my back is people not taking my safety into consideration working on a roof I had 2 narcissists working above me while I'm the clean up b. I would accidentally touch the hose and get it ripped up my ass cheeks. Time to quit and save myself integrity and honor. Cleaning up people's snot rockets cigarette butts and food wrappers cans of soda. I'm so happy to be done.
But you don’t have to out up with all behavior just because it’s to be expected.
So true
I definitely am going to focus 100% on my job now. I will not socialize at all. I will be cordial but nothing more. Because the more you interact the worse it will get. They will say I did something or said something awful. It is better to just be to myself and let them attack but no response. They will win and they know they will.
That's exactly what I'm going through and have tried that approach but ended up being called in. Apparently I cause "hostility" in the office if I keep to myself
@@mbalenhlesibeko9493 me too, I don't understand how that works??? How does me keeping to myself cause hostility, I thought being confrontational was the hostile approach
I can't f*cking stand people.
I wish I didn't need to even look this up. The 2 women I work with are so toxic and miserable. They talk to each other but I don't exist. I think they hate themselves.
Same here. Put my earbuds in & ignore them all now. Do my job which doesn't require much conversation amongst although they still bother me with them on. They finally see now I'm not interested in socializing with them & try to pull me back in but it's no longer working. In process of finding another job and to maintain my peace of mind will remain steadfast & pray about it like always.
How to handle a toxic work environment: quit. Do not give them an ounce of your two most valuable resources: time and health.
@Blessedfavouredmaggie of Christ ALWAYS go into a job with an exit plan; keep applying for jobs even after you accept a job offer. Keep feeding a well-funded emergency fund and have a side hustle.
And sanity!
I second this!
How to never keep a job
@@jackcarraway4707how do you put it on your job application when you just started
I’m dealing with this now, and I’m absolutely at my limit.
I feel you .
no literally!
Yeah me too. I almost quit my job today. I've been "dealt with" by my boss who thought it would be good to demote me-all while keeping the same pay. Now tell me if that being handled with kid gloves at 30 doesn't make you feel confident in your work..
Edit: That was sarcasm lol
As am i, and it is not the first time. I am in a position to peer others' work, and the person resents that I point out her mistakes for correction, so is talking trash about me behind her back. I caught her at it today when she sent me a message intended for someone else.
Me too😢
My toxic coworker is quitting in a few months. I can’t wait!!
Same actually this Friday 🎉🎉 I am soooo excite 😊
You’re so lucky
You're so blessed! I'm happy for you ❤
I had those, the ones that bites the dust. Those were the best days of my life. 😂😊 Now I got another Demon coming after me.😂 I'm like when is she going to flee.😂😂🙏🏽
Yeah, my miserable Supervisor said she was leaving pretty soon. That was December last year. What’s the hold up? It’s gonna be December and 4 months 🤦🏽♀️
They dont have to like me but I dont want to go in and have people discussing my personal life everyday and finding ways to insult me every minute. We dont have to be friends or like each other but dont try to beat me up every day.
I have a co worker one minute ask me how my weekend was and then and hour later drop a joke on me in front of the whole office using that information. This person once offered to let me go home earlier and they'd cover the office. The first thing I heard coming in Monday was,
This person to my whole office: "There's the slacker! He left before I did I Friday".
@@amnfox ignore it. I am going through it with the police right now. they seem to think they can attack me. well let them go ahead i know it is them doing all of this sh*t. but I am not going to feed in with them
I'm dealing with this now I've work at I've just mind my business & doing my work then
all of a sudden my coworkers had a problem with me for the smallest little thing just bc things doesn't go his way To the point that the manger had step in to talk to us when he's mainly the main issues
I can't seem to win or “ please “him
I know right I swear I come happy to work but then that toxic coworker starts with their toxic attitude idk why they can’t leave me alone they don’t have to like me but just be respectful
@@amnfox
I have a coworker just like that. She'd tell people to go on break earlier and not to rush back because she can cover up and finish the rest of the work for them. Then soon after while the person is gone she'd tell our manager that the person went on break earlier without finishing up their job, then she times the person's break and again tells the manager that they're taking longer breaks. Always trying to help others and saying they're lazy behind their backs and that she has to finish the tasks for them. Then our dept. manager and store manager idolize her and believe everything that comes out of her mouth.
I let the toxic coworker know they were disrespectful--and THEN they did it again the next day. This is how I knew this person was, in fact, just a BAD PERSON. They piled it on more when they knew it upset me. So I brought in the boss. We had a group meeting about it and this person impeached themselves during the meeting and showed the boss themselves that they are willing to lie to cover up things. The boss noticed this person's self-impeachment, and then they were forced to "prove" that they are actually an honest and nice person. They were only able to keep that up for a few weeks. Now they're back to being mean and disrespectful to others (but too terrified to mess with me again). But, I have heard that they complain to one person that it's "not fair that everyone says that they talk badly about everyone". Um, excuse me, ma'am, but it's the truth, it's what you do, and if you don't want people to say it about you then you could change that about yourself and fix it.
When someone is being Mean to you..say nothing. Silence is a Powerful Weapon. Also, talk to someone in HR. Ask them to Shadow you for a couple days.
Love the idea of HR shadowing
At my place of work,the toxic one is the HR
Totally impractical to follow someone if in a front line job and the job needs training they won't have as a Hr employee.....
Report if you wish it will highlight a problem and then that problem will become "you"....even though its not fair keeping your head down ride the storm these nasty colleagues often move on to another if you don't react.
They focus on you because they get a supply.....don't be it...
HR is not your friend!!! They will ditch you immediately to keep the company safe
@@sergejgaylordTotally agree. Do not trust HR. They are not there to help you. At the end of the day it’s always about protecting the business.
I pray that our good Lord cover me with a protective shield to prevent evil spirits from trying to take my place or cause conflict at work.
AMEN🙏🏻 I swear some of the women I work with prowl around me like a bunch of wolves. I need the Holy Spirit to protect me from the enemy’s schemes!
Amen!
I’m not trying to be funny or make fun or religion (I’m catholic) but I literally work with some demons man, literally demonic people
@@AMBASSADORFORGODYes! Amen! 🙌🏻
@@ashdog236Trust me, they are.
It's always that one coworker who like to show off when a manager not there.
Absolutely! It's SO important to set boundaries with those people.
exactly
I had a highly toxic coworker who treated me like her underling instead of her equal. We both have the same job. This situation got so bad that I transferred to another sales team. It was a bad situation that was no longer tolerable. I am much happier now since making that decision.
I’m so happy that you got out of that situation Nancy! We all deserve to work in an environment that feels supportive 🙌🏾
Glad you got out of that situation but I hope you also reported her to HR. Think about the next person who has to work with her
I just watched a video that recommended NOT going to HR, because HR's role is to protect the company therefore they are not likely to be of any assistance.
HR's role is to protect the company which is stated in the video, however, it's ultimately your choice what you believe to be the best course of action based off of your circumstances and situation. Many companies also have special retention or employee satisfaction teams which tend to have better solutions.
Please do not ever go to them. I regret going, never ever! Just quietly leave the bullies.
often HR just gets highly defensive and criticizes you, gas lights you. trying to out-work and out-think your coworker might be better. my coworkers slack a lot and although I know I am often doing their job for them, I also know that people notice who is doing what and who *can* do what because she knows how (because she cared enough to learn).
It’s worse in restaurants because you have to smile when you feel like crying or getting angry but you can’t to look good in front of the customers.
yeah, I had a manager refuse to give me the customer's food when it was up.
It’s so tough at work. My job that I recently started, people are so rude. Smile in my face and talk behind my back. I think I know the mastermind in behind the gossip. I keep my head up and try to stay strong. I have bills to pay so I can’t quit, but it’s stressful dealing with it everyday. People are fake at work. For Real.
@@AlwayysBeKind learn to find ways of not answering nosy questions: stay too busy for people to ask questions, say "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" in a cute way, maybe even gasp dramatically and say "You don't expect me to answer such a personal question, do you?!" Test many replies and learn to tailor them depending on who is asking. Some troublemakers will bait you, then take your words out of context to make trouble for you and may even report you anonymously so that you are never given a chance to defend yourself. Learn/know more about your job and do more so that they cannot destroy you. You can also pretend to be shy. Women can be the worst about trying to hurt other coworkers!
@@genkiferal7178 Thank you so much for giving me some good advice. I actually am a very shy person and people assume that by me not talking that I’m rude or stuck up, but that’s far from the truth. I end up talking about small things to people to try and show my kind side, but then I’m like why did I tell them that, especially with me knowing they don’t like me. It’s people here at this job that act so unkind to me and I still don’t understand why they act that way to me. I’ll come in and keep to myself and literally do my job. I’m super stressed at this job, but I have to pay the bills.
Unrelated but your melanin is gorgeous!
Thank you so much 😩😍
Agreed
I’m at a toxic work environment and this Team Lead is a petty person. She is afraid that I’m going to take her job away. One little slip up she immediately went to the supervisor and told her what I did. I just hope I will not knock her out before resigning!
That screams insecurity.
@@Dzanarika1 also screams kiss a**
I can’t go to anyone. They knew they were in the wrong so had to immediately cover their tracks and distort what factually occurred. I’m still on probation and these people know how to put on masks. I don’t care anymore. Our Heavenly Father will remove me when it’s time for me to go. Even if I end up not working there anymore, they’ll never understand how I’m the real winner because they couldn’t take away my ambition, integrity, willingness to help others and most of all, my self confidence. Oh, and I suffer from anxiety, depression and got out of an abusive situation but still came to work trying to help someone else.
Never stoop to their level, ever. Eventually the false image they painted of you will disappear when people see who you are for themselves.
Well said
Absolute well said there bravo
There's so much documentation in HR from my co workers.. Literally stacks of papers. All it is is a paper trail. All HR has ever done is question the bully and nothing ever gets resolved because there's no witnesses. It usually last two weeks, then the person is back to their attitude again. It's been going on for years and years..Nothing ever gets better
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you find the strength to find a new job so tou can look forward to the day you no longer have to share a space with that person.
@⟬Emmanuelle⟭ That's illegal and could damage any chance in obtaining legal counsel if needed. Better to create a paper trail by following up a meeting with an email stating facts as you understand them with a delivery and read receipt.
Honestly my husband said the exact same thing. It's been going on since the dawn of time for mankind. They enjoy tearing you down instead of building one another up. It's a terrible cycle. Which will never stop. Keep your cool, don't give any personal info and just be quiet. Don't say anything. I've been dealing with toxic ppls at every job and it's not worth your time or mentality to deal with their issues. It's their problem. Not ours.
Don't give away yr power, less you react emotionally the better, just the facts where necessary.
This the best comment
You can be 100% right, and 100% fired. Reading between the lines, when it comes to the workplace, is a matter of value. How much value do you bring to the company where your continuing employment benefits the company's bottom line.
Totally agree! That's the tough part of the situation, you can be 100% in the right and still have things work against you.
Value is an operative word. Value to some degree should be weighted equally. You should bring value to the company but if the value you bring is not valuable to the company, then you are in the wrong place.
I have this problem at my job this guy i work with talks about me behind my back and he is in my face like everything is cool, but i keep my composure. But i am glad i have a interview at another job wish me luck.
Sending you the best of luck!
@@HaylesConsultingCareerCoach Thank you
IVE NEVER IN MY LIFE HAD TO DEAL WITH WICKED, HATEFUL, BACKSTABBING PEOPLE
That’s beautiful 🙏🏾
Lucky you so what made you click on this video if you don’t mind me asking
Makes me feel sick that there are people like this on workplaces. I searched this video on purpose, I am sure other people did aswell.
Nowdays, toxic environment is encouraged and normalized.
I searched this video because I'm going through this
Pray 🙏
Been at my new job for 4 months and I have identified why everyone has left or is quitting. Its a dysfunctional team but its one person in particular who is an aggressive, unprofessional and just a down right jerk. I called out the jerks aggressiveness to my boss and I was told not to retaliate to rock the boat. Now I know thats how the team works, and we are all ignoring the jerks behaviour, I feel like its a toxic unsafe workplace and Ive started looking for something else.
be a jerk back? then say, "I learned that little trick from **you** "?
I'm in the same boat the only thing that works is copying his energy but I don't wanna be like that.
I went through this and kept A paper trail as well as email texts. In the end, I sued the company and won because they refused to do something about the situation.
Please can you provide more details? I’m thinking this might be my end result but not sure how to go about this.
an email trail is the best idea. some employers are sneaky, though, and refuse to respond to emails. send them anyway.
I just started a new job and the person who is training me is acting rude to me. She doesn't want to train me and the job is pretty fast pace. I am trying to learn but this person is being very impatient with me. And I have no choice to work with her.
See if you can find someone more patient to help you on the side as well!
Same scenario but theres only 2 people at a time. there are NO others to help.
Just reached out about possibly changing hours. I dont care if they sack me honestly. 6 weeks and im already spent. little kid is jealous and insecure.
@@HaylesConsultingCareerCoach
That haircut looks radiant on you btw.
I try to stay neutral when I have toxic colleagues. It’s really not fun when that happens. It’s always fun to have colleagues we get along with.
Thank you so much 🙏🏾 I totally agree! We spend almost 75% of our week at work…a team you get along with is important and needed!
I work with men in the office and trust me it is toxic.i just want to protect my sanity at this point . Boundaries boundaries boundaries.
Yes they can be toxic as well when working with men. Some of them can also be intimidating or sexist.
I've had problems with both men and women and people of different races and weights and classes/backgrounds. But, people can have a heard time with siblings, their kids, spouses, etc. I still prefer to work with men, though, because they are more direct and that saves me time and energy.
Unfortunately they don’t care about feeedback or boundaries
I’ve learned to just ignore them and pray. It takes more energy than I have to prove taunting sometimes. Just don’t ask me to be at the holiday party or out for lunch sweeties lol
I honestly hate my job because of my coworkers and yet I don’t have prospects so I’m here.
Keep looking and improving your skillset...🙏🏾
So timely 😩 I can't wait to leave this toxic workmate.
I love your assertiveness. I'm going to work on being upfront
you got this!
Yes corporate hr. Don't protect workers. They don't really listen. That's why supervisors get away with bullying because they know they can get away with it. So telling your Manger or hr is a waste of time. Get a lawyer. Or advocate.
Hr. Take money out union dues. And don't Do anything. We're being rob blind. I have a job. And my hr representive haven't help me since I've been at my job for 22 years. It's all a scam. That's why people get tired of workplace bullies. They don't know how serious it could be suicide rate is high. I know some people tired of being Bully at work. And come back with a gun. This real life.
Yeah well you can try to address it and make things worse, so most of the time u have to move on. No one cares sometimes if u are right.
Thank you! I had to set these boundaries with my coworker. I only been working at the location for 7 months. And the things he did and still doing annoys. Never responsibilities for his own actions. Than blaming me for his own screw ups.
I'm glad you set those boundaries - they need to respect you!
I am a 25 year old working in elderly care and have been recently assigned a new co-worker. She has to learn me the ropes since we're handling a new system. I went in to work all happy and excited, when I came back home I bawled my eyes out. I love being nice to coworkers, helping them and making jokes, what once was my safe space is now the space i hate to be at. This one miserable lady took all of that excitement out of me. She is feeling superior because I'm the youngster there, I'm doing everything wrong and she won't give me the light of day to explain things to me because she things I'm too dumb to understand them anyway. She rolls her eyes at me, gossips with coworkers about me, she sighs when she sees me and the list goes on. Once I even said apologized to her(??) and she didn't even answer me. The sad thing is I even got FOUR co workers coming up to me that they have experienced or seen the bullying happening and say I have to stand up for myself, but I can't since I'm honestly afraid of her. I find it so cruel that one person ruined my whole working experience where I LOVED to be at. Now I'm quitting in a month because I can't take the stress anymore.
Hi I understand what you going through and I don't blame you for leaving, some people would not leave but toxic people like that in the work can break your spirit n and steal your peace of mind. I am going through a toxic situation at work and am also going to find a new job, reason for me not even telling my boss won't help because they trust her with all the companies things. I think when you leave your job type out your resignation letter and add another letter to your boss explaining reasons for you leaving and how horrible that person made you feel with all her toxic behavior. Also saying that if it wasn't for her you would have stayed but just tell a little bit about the situation, what have you got to lose, you leaving that job never to return.Maybe the next person coming in your place won't be treated so shitty. Stay blessed 🙏
I won't acknowledge a person's "sorry" if I think it isn't genuine, if I think they were lying or slacking and have no intention of changing. I refuse to lie by saying, "No problem" or "It's okay" if I know she'll keep acting the same say.
That's totally not the point i was trying to make. I was saying sorry to her because i thought she hated me, not because i was doing anything wrong. She was just miserable herself.
Almost two years later since this post and i can say, DO NOT accept an unsafe work environment. Try to work things out with said person or with a boss but If that doesn't work or it's too difficult, get the hell out of there. Getting to a different job has been the best decision i ever made. My new job is like family to me, i love to come there on my days off and we treat each other with the respect we deserve. Wouldn't trade it for the world!
I spoke with the person and she flipped it and gaslit me saying it was my perception. She’s been moved from department to department by HR.
Hoping things get sorted soon!
I have the toxic duo-manager and coworker in cahoots against me. If they cared about my feelings they wouldn't do the crazy things they do. Dishonesty and conceit are apparently habits that are hard for toxic people to break. Thank you so much for helping me stand in my truth while having to deal with them daily. You are awesome!
So happy to hear that you were able to stand in your truth - you deserve to be respected
My co worker is sneeky sod and i told him that to his face from that point on I refused to talk with him unless unless the conversation was job related I avoided him as much as possible
its the only way to deal with toxic people it made a difference as i feel less stressed he got the message and stopped talking to me too and as far as I was concerned I would not want it any other way.
Thank you for that! You just gave me the solution to my problem with the a hole I have to work with.
Today I Wanted To Really Beat Up A Coworker.
I Got Call In The Office While The Other Person Running Off At The Mouth
Girlll 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ well I’m glad you didn’t - need you to stay employed 🙌🏾🙌🏾
In the last 5yrs +- I have seen the absolutely worse people in management than ever before. Also companies don't show the employees that they appreciate you anymore, they are concentrated on numbers only.
they forgot employees generate the numbers
I honestly can’t say this is 100 percent true in the corporate world.
No what I need help with is dealing with impossible coworkers and managers that don’t care how you feel. You don’t bother anyone you stay to yourself but girls who don’t know you gossip about you or start stuff with you. And the manager is going to believe them because it’s 10 of them and one of you.
Happened to me too since I’m too nice
@@Sarah-bn1hg exactly. They see you as a weak target or something weird about you smh
Mobbing sucks. They are narcissistic individuals. Only way to deal with them is to disengage as much as possible, transfer to another department and/or find another job. There is NO winning with these evil demons. They'll steal your time, energy and joy.
I'm so glad there are resources like this out there.
It’s called coping skills, need to learn them, life is too beautiful to let any person or group tarnish my excitement. My greatest fear is God applying justice to mean people, I have seen it so many times, I truly believe it. People are mean because that person is lonely and want attention, but don’t have the ability to find it. Please be safe
This is very helpful. I try to be fair as a lead/manager. People suck to the point where it comes to arguments and nut-checking phrases almost to where we physically fight. My micromanaging boss just lets it happen.
I dont believe my manager or supervisor can stop them from the attacks. I know they will come for me regardless but I am not going to take it personal I will just ignore it. Life goes on
I can do better! I am going to prove it to myself! No police no project, I will make it on my mother.
Who is liking this comment....is it good people..who always do the right thing?...hahahahah
I've ignored it for too long, at some point you have to stand up for yourself to the bullies
If all else fails, then Quiet Quit! The new phenomenon that works wonders!
I'm not going to quite bc of a coworker
@@dystanysam9896it's not the coworker it's your boss. They chose to keep these toxic people employed at the expense of new hires because they are afraid but in reality they could probably replace toxic worker with someone better. These are usually small rigamarole toxic companies and bosses.
YES!!!!! The SMALL ones!!!! @@geodude6244
@@geodude6244 yes, it almost always boils down to management. But, do give your boss a chance to correct the situation by telling them exactly what happened or is happening. If the toxic person isn't fired immediately, she still might be after several complaints.
I had covid a while back and I have to say I'd rather have covid than be at my job. The only bad thing was I didn't have any personal time left to use for pay
This was the topic I needed help with … my car was actually vandalized by a toxic coworker and I had no proof … This happens to people more than it should … without emails or proof, what is the best way to handle situations such as rude comments without you being the “problem Karen” ???? Like HR thinking “here she comes again” complaining even though it’s valid!!
Thanks for this video. I remember when l was a dishwasher and my coworkers was blaming me and making me feel horrible over something that l didn't do.😩😩
Laugh at them. The most effect way to deal with toxic co-workers is to kill them with kindness. I'm currently dealing with a 65 year old boomer that gives me shit about nearly everything I do. I found the most effective way to put this man in his place is to just treat him like the princess he is. Never let anyone disrespect you in the workplace scew them, if they've got a problem ask them up front what's going on and shut them down immediately.
How do you “shut them down “” I don’t understand ?
@@foreskinpolice do not shit anybody down you will only create more problems. Plan your escape.
I have the same but the 22 yr old is mean yo the bone.
I never get over the amount of truly horrible people out there. I used to want to help people, now i dont think there are many worth helping.
It depends because sometimes you got to go.
Absolutely! Sometimes that’s the best thing to do!
What frustrates me the most, is I've brought the actions of a toxic co worker to my manager's attention. Somehow I'm the one who needs to accept his asshole behavior. New job time, someone hire me already!
Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way as well. Two very dirty witches. If, only I wasn’t such a nice person..They would never see the light of day ever again..I have to have faith that god will handle those two devils in the best way possible..
Oh my gosh I deal with something like this to. Everytime an altercation happens between me and my toxic coworkers I get so mad and think the worst things like I wanna punch them and call them the worst names ever. But I get scared that god will be mad at me but I know he’ll deal with them later on.
I dread all the drama filled people not the actual job.
it boils down to management. Managers play favorites and often reward the people who suck up to them or who are most similar to them. Case by case, but quitting might be your best bet. Write a long polite letter about why when you leave - not negative enough to result in your getting bad reviews from your employer, though, when other jobs call for referrals.
Thank you Brittany. This video was so spot on & informative. Unlike other videos you got right to the important points & brought actual solutions to the table & I will be using them immediately!
It's probably best, just to find another job.
Most likely you going to have problems everywhere you go have to address it you don’t know who can stop it on that person can get fired because I’m not quitting my job especially if it pays good
What if an assistant manager is acting Hostile towards me or mad at me cause of one mistake like she thinks I'm ignorant or forgetful and honestly I am forgetful but her treating me like a damn child makes me blow up like a volcano !
Set boundaries. Let her know you're feeling a bit bombarded and document everything
Whew, I have the same problem with someone that is just training us for a while, she's not even a supervisor. I'm trying not to blow up as well and just quit bc I don't "need the job" just wanted something to do and extra pocket money. It's easy to say forget it but I need to learn how to endure through the tough times.
She's threatened by you, afraid you'll take her job or surpass her. She knows exactly what she's doing and you losing your temper is exactly what she wants- so that you will get fired or quit. Stop falling for her tactics, please. Document every interaction and acquire tons of evidence before reporting her.
@@francesfisher795 okay thank you
thanks for great advice! i will set boundary and keep things professional , keep as much distance from toxic coworker whenever i can, she loves gossiping , giving me strange reactions when I talk to her, it always feels like summer break whenever I got off from work or during weekends , LOL!
Your theories/Knowledge will let the victim have more problems.... Reporting mostly isnt the best option. Reporting without digital or non digital evidence will send the victim having more negative reasons for people/circumstances working against him/her....
This is facts I just went to my supervisor about a co worker and since I revealed the things she’s done to me the co worker said out of her mouth in front of the supervisor “well I didn’t have a problem with you before , but I do now” to me and the supervisor acted as if she didn’t care I’m over this place taking as many days as I can off it’s not worth my mental health
Thanks so much! I work with a lot of women! I stood up to a bully and before I knew it, that bully had all the nicer coworkers gas lighting also! 😢 I’ve been miserable, my manager complains she doesn’t have time, that I need to go talk to that person. I’m so upset that I don’t realize to write it down. But I have written some down, and I’ll continue to do that and follow the rest of your advice! Tytyty
4:54 exactly where I’m at. My coworker got so bad that she threw my papers on the floor and giggled, slapped me in the back of the head when I’d mess up or make a mistake, and my boss hasn’t done a single thing.
WOW! You should never have to experience that type of behavior in life in general.
@Nicole Kehew you should look into JT Automated on UA-cam so you can become your own Entrepreneur and make a lot of money.
Phone the cops and have them come to your workplace. Tell them you are being physically abused.
You will then have a police report as proof if they decide do nothing or to fire you ;-)
Never let ANYONE hit you.
Thank you so much for this video. I’m experiencing everything that you mentioned. You just confirmed all of the steps that I plan on taking
A new coworker of mine just strikes me as off. He's too smooth and too quick to be buddy buddy with managers, etc. The type that has a better and more interesting story whenever someone's talking about something they've experienced. I think they'll be exposed for being just hot air eventually but that doesn't stop me from getting extremely annoyed whenever he walks past my desk, looks at my screen, and then just has to try and say something 'hilarious' about whatever I'm doing.
He also raises local feeling and feels leader of the group
I’ve come from a variety of fields and the one thing that continued to occur in the past is escalation, no matter the level of good intentions.
You’re playing the game that a toxic person expects you to play.
Managers are not always going to be leaders, and they don’t always know how to handle a situation.
I’ve become more honest and straightforward about what I will not accept, and which is effective, and this helps, but the one thing I encourage is that you not hesitate to find something better whenever the opportunity arises.
Do not inform most of these people about your potential departure either.
Don’t think of these people as friends or family
Be decisive
This is your livelihood
You should not be stressing as you take care of that which should nurture you
Be well and be safe
Be the reason why work culture changes for the better
What if it’s the trainer? They talk disrespectfully and are very frustrated while training you and roll their eyes and the boss likes them a lot and they have more experience and you’re new? And you never spoke rudely and you’re a nice person and ho doesn’t like comfrontation and loves peace over conflict?
I'd recommend just pushing through the trainings and focus on building a great and solid relationship with the boss.
Love your energy
Great contents. I had a toxic coworker who bullied my manager (mean jokes and being sarcastic) but no one reported this to the director. I now feel very sad we didn’t do that. But I’ve left the firm already, and i know my manager was thinking of leaving too…
Glad you were able to get out!
how the hell does a manager let a peon bully them? theres no way lol
@@JT-tx2ns it did happen. My previous manager was from diverse background.
some places if u mess with the manager ur going out the door
I’m having a situation with 2 people at work as well I don’t talk to anyone or bother anyone I work and go home and these two people continue to talk about me and stare and mug me to the point I had to get leadership and managers involved Im literally just trying to stay at this job so I can get through school with the job paying for it and seem like obstacles are trying to get in the way right now
These jobs have very little care about treating their employees fairly. So one thing i learned, out of my 40 years, is that to go in do your job and clock out. Don't go the extra mile for them too much, like if they keep asking can you work double shift or something. Remember most of us do more work than what we get paid...so be fair to yourself, its ok and most of us go through bullying and harrassment on the job just to get a paycheck, so be fair to yourself.
I actually changed jobs. I heard this and frankly i actually had to change my job. My toxic co worker had his nerve. He was arrested for raping some man. He himself served 10 years for doing it. And he was always at work getting into arguments with me. I just ended up finding a job and leaving. I made 20 on that job, but now i make 28 on this job, double time on Sunday. The only downside is this job is 7 days a week. So ill make a 100k if i like it or not. I actually work by myself now and frankly in charge of a lot more things. My health insurance premium is paid cause i work for the state, and i get a pension, 457b and an HSA. I just couldn't take it anymore. Everyday they were trying to cost me my job so i told my manager at a meeting. Everyone was shocked but i wouldn't tell them where i went. I removed myself from that problem and i did it smoothly. I always got along with HR but sometimes you have to move jobs.
Actually its really hard to manage to avoid your toxic coworker, sometimes by seeing them makes my day ruin at the bad thing for me is my face emotion cannot hide what I feel for that toxic coworker 😢
Its just a reflection of how miserable they are. Nobody can be happier than them, its not fair.
Honestly I left my job of 3 weeks today because this dude my age (23) has been there for 2 years and he didn’t like me since day 1 we both good looking dudes no homo lol and he just never spoke to me and today he decides to pull a face when I make 1 mistake and I told him what’s the problem long story short he tries to take it outside and I won’t lie I said I ain’t fighting I ain’t a confrontational person. But it sucked because I know all the other co workers knew he was treating me wrong yet they didn’t say anything and was treating and talking to him like normal but it is what it is , the job was a warehouse so it’s got them sort of people in it plus I live in London doesn’t help at all. But I learned from this that at 23 years old I need to fix my life and boss up ! Time to put in the work on myself and also find another job
One thing I’d love for people to realize, if you just started a job and within less than a couple of weeks you find yourself needing to complain about everything… leave! I think supervises and management needs to know and get those people out. They will cause the others to get distracted and the poison will spread. No one is making that individual stay. They should just leave. But they don’t and now, even better yet, management gives in and actually tries to changes policies/rules that don’t benefit anyone really, just them. Just because the bosses are too afraid to be called a racist or a homophobe.
Thank you ! Boundaries have really helped me.
What about if I'm the only newbie. And some of them keeps being toxic to me. Im afraid to get awkward i'll always be alone if i gave that person a threat. Because she they're friend
In any situation where you feel people are being rude to you - you should always stand up for yourself and standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you’re “rude” it means your confident and honest! 🙌🏾
@@HaylesConsultingCareerCoach thankyou and i also feel that they are so interested in my private life. Which sometimes i feel uncomfortable when they're asking me. I'll try to stand up next time
What if the boss is the one toxic?????
Speak with their boss if you feel comfortable or go to HR
HR will create a plan to get rid of you. Do not go to HR unless you want trouble.
hr is best friends with the secretary. I am new. I am a senior.
😊massive experience. I am passionate about what I do. Praying by saying thank you God for this job 😊
Secretary is very cruel to me.
The more I try the more she seems to literally hate me 😢
Thank you for this video!
Lady you're awesome ,Thank you
I've only been at my new job 2 week's. But ever since joining, this coworker has been giving off this OFF energy and behaviour towards me. Not really uttered a word to her tbh.
That person tried to tell me that I was moving slow. So I asked them why that person was being aggy towards me?. Then the way that person proceeded to slam things around, and act stroppy towards me.
Just BC I'm new, doesn't mean, I'm gonna stay absolutely silent,when someone crosses the line. However I will try to say it in the most respectful way possible
Totally agree! You don’t have to just sit back because you’re new. Providing feedback as early as possible is always best. Hope things get better for you soon 🙏🏾
Thank you for the advice!! I appreciate you
You are so welcome!
If your boss is toxic and a jerk and your organization has a Union call your business representative of your union, the more calls made to your union rep about the harrassments made to you by a toxic boss, will eventually get the toxic boss fired even HR will get tired of the calls coming in for the toxic boss.
I’m dealing with this now, I worked at a hotel one of my coworkers is very toxic bc I'm just doing my job now it's gotten to the point when the manger had came in for no reason it's wasn't even my fault to being with
Been on this job for 6 weeks & know about the few that are messy, always negative & toxic. I used to talk to them but don't anymore. 1 is a male that flirts often & says inappropriate things & touched me inappropriately & it took me by surprise. I'm a very blunt person but decided to just stay away from him. They have been trying to purposely do things so he will quit eventually. He keeps up a lot of mess, gossips more than the females & his girlfriend works there too. They both seem miserable & will talk about other people all day & whoever joins in they won't stop. Had planned on quitting anyway for other reasons & won't until I find something else. I'm strong & tough enough to ignore them until then. It's uncomfortable for them now because they can't figure out why I don't talk to them. Pray they both leave because the male is hard to work with & loves drama. Wonder about him 🤣 being a 'sus" & trying to cover it up with his girlfriend being there.
Really hope you find a better work environment or at least that your team gets better 🙏🏾
If you don't correct them then that person will continue with the nonsense.
My current manager or co worker very supportive to me
You have great advice and you’re very pretty.
Thank you so much :)
No shade, but most women Ive worked with have ALWAYS been toxic. JS 🤷🏾♂️
True that, 99% of women.
💯
You spelled men wrong
@@SelfCenteredGG101both
Yesterday on shift I was madly disgusted by an insecure girl and a witch.
I felt like she was really invading my privacy.
I work for a month as a waitress and work with 21 year olds and of course at first everything was Charming and nice and the most annoying thing I thought we were "friends" and I shared with them personal things "
But then jealousy and eye trouble began, that they saw a girl with a beautiful presence with confidence and just level above them.
The regular and new customers really impress and fly over me and leave me a personal tip even though they are divided equally
Meaningless comments on how to work simply do not make sense,
Who covered the tray and went through the plans I had written and it just put me in shock and disgust
I just do not know what closes with such girls Ihhs it just repulsive it's my discharge I just loathe it hahaha
And Bali so much to take her down and humiliate her at work
And I'm just like on the one hand NEXT you go looking for a little insecure girl and on the other hand the bitch messed with the wrong bitch.
And Bali rode back to her
What to do???
Because they do not treat me like that !!!!
The best thing to do is weigh out your options based on this video and make the BEST decision for you. Hoping your situation get better soon 🙏🏾
Now a days work is like that... Too many toxic and succer people..