How to stop thinking about what I did in the past (real event OCD)
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- Опубліковано 28 тра 2024
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In this video, we're going to talk about why rumination fuels anxiety and OCD and how to stop the cycle.
Thinking about our past is normal. What is not normal is feeling guilt, shame, and anxiety. Let me show you how to move forward.
- - - Disclaimer - - -
For information purposes only. Does not constitute clinical advice. Consult your local medical authority for advice. - Розваги
Do you think about your past too much?
to much That makes me depressed and suicidal but i get better at handling now then before. its not like i wil think the whole day about it anymore.
Oh yeah...
I have a question about one thing.
I have OCD but in my case, any person makes sounds like a closing door making food you know sound vibration release right but I my case sound reacted like my thought
Yes I do. Maybe you can help me. I don't know.
Best videos. So helpful!
Does anyone else look at random people and wonder ”what would they think of me if they knew all my mistakes"
Yes
Yes 😢
All of the time. It's the loneliest feeling
I'm gonna say it right now: Real-Event OCD is a B----! There's stuff I've done in the past I am not proud of. And even though it was a few years ago, OCD still likes to dangle in my face to this day.
It makes it hard to acknowledge that im capable of mistakes cuz then my brains like “HOW BAD WE TALKING U DONT GET TO MOVE ON”
This one is the worst. It feels like I’m supposed to be feeling guilty because the things I did were wrong. And if I “let them go” then I’m letting myself off the hook when really I should be suffering. I wish I was a kid again when I had nothing to feel guilty about lol😂
I feel the exact same way, you're not alone :(
I was actually reminiscing about being a little kid again yesterday when I was spiraling in my head over everything haha.
Feeling exactly the same, wish I could just stop existing at times
@@Nishinga.i do this all the time. I always wish I could go back to when I was 3 or 4, when life was perfect and I didn’t have ocd, and before all my mistakes. I wish I could go back in time and make better choices.
I feel the same way but my childhood wasn’t safe either. A life of constant stress.
Same I feel exactly the same way ❤
I did a lot of bad things when I was younger. I wouldn't even call them mistakes because that downplays it too much. I'm trying so hard to be a better person but I keep getting fixated on the thought of one specific thing coming back to haunt me, like what if the people I love now found out about it and hated me, or what if I got in trouble for it. Sometimes I think of that and I can't stop and I just think of it over and over. There was one really bad week I had where I almost threw up because I was so anxious about that.
Everyone makes mistakes you just have to accept it, learn from it, and move on that’s all you can do as a human. You can’t physically go back and change it so why torture yourself over it. No one is perfect you have to just move on and do your best to better your future self
Start practicing mindfulness meditation. I can relate to you 100% and I can say that after meditating daily for 4 years it really brings peace. Try it out! I believe in you, be well
It's so hard when other people remind you constantly of your bad decisions. Specifically, with cancel culture. I feel like with my gen z generation, they don't allow any mis-steps whatsoever...even if it happens over ten years ago. They claim people "never change." :\
I’m a Millennial and you’d think that younger generations would be even more accepting than mine, but I’ve seen this unfortunately isn’t the case.
As a fellow gen z I cannot agree more. It’s so hard to forgive yourself when everyone around you is saying you can never change and demonizing you. Eventually, I realized that the people who are so quick to point their finger at others are so ashamed of their own mistakes that they focus on making others feel bad about theirs so they don’t have to address their own wrongdoings.
@@adammarchese2690 Yes, the most self-righteous and loudest ones are no saints either and almost always aren't self-aware enough to see their own mistakes and flaws.
Self compassion feels hopeless at first but it’s just a muscle you have to train. You just have to start with the fake it to make it method, and keep trying to be kind to yourself. Focus on who you are today. Focus on how you feeling guilt or shame probably means that you’ve learned and won’t be making the same mistake again. Also talk about the event with someone you trust like your therapist. Mine helped me see the event from perspectives I never considered. I dealt with it for 5 years and I finally beat it. I think you can too no matter how terrible or illegal it was. You are a person and we all make both good and bad decisions. Trust in yourself to know the path forward and stop avoiding what makes you happy because you believe you deserve some sort of punishment. Just go out and do it! I believe in you!
Thanks bro, comments like this really help me
Thank you 💗
Amen
Wonderful comment. I’ve done some bad things I regret. And it’s haunting me. But I can’t stop living life. Like I once heard “don’t cry over spilt milk”. Keep your eyes forward and treat yourself well. Learn from mistakes and leave it in the past
This form of ocd eats away at my energy and spirit
Yup, I was young dumb and lost, but still, what I did was horrible. And ocd tells me "what If you want to do it again?" When I know i won't or "Was it really bad?" (yes, yes, it was) I'm not my past, and i know that, and it plays images over and over, but in the end It's all OCD
Thank you so much for this video. I made a horrible mistake when I was about 12 or 13 yrs old that I deeply regret. I completely forgot about it until it hit me randomly when I was 17. It was like my brain zapped my memory of what happened. I beat myself up so bad and it triggered my anxiety horribly. I even thought it was a horrible dream or something like that. I would try to problem solve and played different scenarios in my head over and over and over again to the point I became mentally exhausted. Throughout the years it would come and go, but I always felt like I deserved to suffer.
It’s the worse thing ever and I’m teaching myself self compassion and how to forgive myself. I feel like my brain has been in overload with everything I’ve bottled up for decades. I suffer from various OCD’s, anxiety, existential crisis and DPDR. This has been such a rollercoaster ride of mental illness 🥲🫨😵💫
I completely understand you. Only in my case, it is not just one mistake, there are sporadic major mistakes.
Oh brother, I am dealing with the exact same things you just enumerated
How did you know it was a real memory?
I wrote down all the events my real event ocd screws me about and ngl reading them again and again and aswering "I dont care" helps
I have real event OCD and it is unlike anything I have ever felt before! I do have other themes but this is by far the hardest. I am hoping that I can recover and take something positive from it in the end.
Me too. And I did some major compulsion because of it. I can not tolerate exposure to the real event. Other themes that I had in past are relatively easy (I still have that) in comparisson to the real event OCD. Wish you all the best. I am sure you are a good person.
Amazing how treating OCD involves confronting those fears head on. That takes a lot of bravery and strength.
this came at the perfect time, this theme has been the absolute worst for me! its been nearly a year since my brain started fixating on a memory from nearly 10 years ago; the shame/guilt can be so all consuming sometimes
thank you nate!
i am going through the exact same thing!! it is so comforting to know i’m not alone in this struggle ❤
@@in2whitive good days are coming ❤️ this theme can be horrific but you can get through it, i’ve improved so much recently its absolutely possible
Crazy that u posted this video this morning. Last night when I was trying to go to sleep my past mistakes were bothering me and one that really gets to me that I think about a lot is the fact that my ex boyfriend died and I blame myself for leaving him just to be in a toxic relationship while he was there for me the whole time and actually treated me right. I made the mistake of not making the right decisions. I was young and think if I woulda stayed with him he would still be alive. He wouldnt have been at that bar that night. This was in 2019 and its 2024. It still makes me sad! I cant help but think I missed out on my soulmate. Till this day he was the only man that showed me what real love was and I'm grateful for that. It's just still hard to swallow that pill of knowing hes never gonna come back. Miss him a lot.
Crazy bruhh it's night here😂
Yeah regret hits you hard
I get that. My ex husband died right after I divorced him and I will never not struggle over it. It wasn’t my fault but …. What if I hadn’t?…. You know how it goes. I wish I could give myself grace the way I give it to everyone else. And I hope you will allow yourself some too. ❤ it’s not easy, it’s not linear, and it’s a process.
@@kingmusik8901 especially losing someone bc of ur decisions. I would do anything to go back in time to change my decisions.
@@youshouldvejustgonetothega5337 ya I feel you. I wish I could take my own advice but it's hard bc other people havent been through what I've been through so they dont know how hard it is. I'll never get over it that's one thing I know but I also know life goes on
I don’t think words can express how grateful I am to you💗
I discovered your channel just tonight. Thank you so much ❤
This channel has helped me to accept that I have OCD. In the past, I could never believe it as Real Event OCD is rarely included in the self-help books, and I was bombarded by thoughts about things that had really happened in my life. So, even though my therapist assured me it was OCD/intrusive thoughts undepinned by shame and guilt, I couldn't accept it as the books didn't cover it. I just thought i was a monster and hated myself.
It is only recently after watching UA-cam videos like yours about real event OCD that I have finally been able to accept that this is what I have, and I am able to more fully engage with the treatment, and it is beginning to work for me.
OCD thrives on doubt and uncertainty, and it can latch on to ANY subject/focus.
I just wish a lot of the self-help literature explained this better.
THANK YOU❤️ This helped a lot
I honestly can't describe how much you have helped me. Thank you so much for doing what you do.
I love your work you showed up in my in my life when I needed to see your videos ❤❤❤
Thank you for everything you do
Thank you for helping me feel better instantly, starting to heal starts today
Your content is a blessing and an inspiration for me as a therapist. Thanks for making this videos!
Thank you, Nathan. You're one of the best ocd experts online.
Bro you’ve lich been saving my life since I was like 11 no joke or exaggeration . Thank you so much
Thank you so much for these videos. There are times where I can feel myself regressing in my healing journey, but you and other ocd resources really do help me better understand my mental health. I swear you guys have saved my life and I’m sure countless others.
Brilliant video, i have been struggling the past few years with real event OCD in conjunction with false memory OCD , which is pretty scary as it makes you question how things happened and can make you believe in things that didnt happen. Keep doing your thing nate ❤️😎 love from UK
Hi Nate, I am not sure what else I can say other than thank you. I have no idea how you always manage to upload a video on the exact subtype of OCD that i may be going through. Each time without fail, you help me understand that the very thing that has been torturing me day and night for the past month or weeks is just OCD and nothing more. I'm not sure if you have wires connected to my brain that let you know whenever I'm going through something but I am so grateful to have found you and your channel. I thank you endlessly for the work you do.
Nate, I appreciate you and your content!
viewers, I know that whatever your going through seems OVERWHELMING and you may be thinking "I can't anymore with ....". You are strong. You can get through this. I have been dealing with intrusive thoughts for 15 years. I've had depression since I was a kid. ocd/anxiety for 20 years. the "first" 10 years of my intrusive thoughts were a nightmare! The last 5, its still hard to deal with but with cognitive behavior therapy and watching Nate's numerous videos on countless topics, I've been able to overcome so much (even those things I didn't know how to bring up in therapy or weren't an issue until the past couple years). I know the feelings of doubts, and even suicidal thought reasoning (if i do ".....", I'll end myself). You are NOT your thought(s). If you WERE your thought(s), it WOULDN'T bother you. that's why we seek help. because we don't know what to do and we're scared. The "what if I do this/that? what if I did do this/that??". I love you, keep fighting.
Thanks so much for this video Nathan! I have a relative who could really benefit from this.
I love this channel for making me not feel alone. Is thinking about a time in your life where your OCD was especially difficult and/or even traumatic real event OCD. In my head I’m constantly worried about oh my OCD was bad then so it will be bad again in the future or it will happen tomorrow etc.
I love you, Nathan ❤
I am currently going through this crisis and I swear to god, god appeared as in you. I am so thankful for this video!!!
Thanks for the video ! ❤
Amazing video tq so much sir
Thank you save my life ❤️
OCD is tricky but this is valuable stuff for when it comes back to bite you one last time
Thank you so much for making this video. I wasted my 20s being an internet troll in order to defend my favorite video game character’s honor who is constantly hated on. This character saved my life from childhood abuse and neglect. I wasted so much of my time arguing with people on the internet and I’m so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I’m now on a spiritual journey to figure out who I am and what to do with the rest of my life.
Thank you for your great work!❤ Could you please make a video on ERP for real event OCD?
There is little info about erp specifically for real event ocd. 😢
Awesome Nate.
Thanks Sensei!
I did something terrible about 10 years ago. and I have told plenty of people about it. After the thought of what happened came up back in 2021 They were shocked about it and at the same time, they acted like it was no big deal. I had gotten over it for a while but for the last 2 years, the scenario keeps on repeating over and over. And it's been running along with a couple of other obsessive thoughts about my mortality and time passing. I've been in torment for over 2 years now. It has been extremely tough to forgive myself and it feels like I should never be forgiven for what happened
I don't know what I did wrong but I still lost the only man I've ever loved & It haunts me. I just figured it must have been something I did. I like the format of your videos, you seem authentic
Doesnt real event ocd also overlap with false memory ocd? So you might have a real event but the memory could be distorted or false? I thought that ocd can also exaggerate the event?
Same I need help. I did a lot of bad things when I was 14 and they still haunt me to this day
Watch the whole video 100% Ty sir! lets all show the OCD games.... that we are the console we can control it! We can all get through this!
LOVE U
There is this one thing i started thinking about in lockdown & i stopped thinking about it after getting busy with my life but since i am on a gap year the thing is eating me up again and its roaming in my mind again and again it breaks me.
If helps you I'm glad
Ty for ur help sincerly i wish i could do ur program but well im not in any financial position ty tho
Can you do a video on racing thoughts?
Ive been having hard days because of past. . i cant get rid of negative thoughts.. its hard to convince my brain im still a good person. Every friend or anybody who has meet me say im kind and i care for people i like helping others i worry for others and always do my best for others but my brain still tells me im not enough im a bad person im horrible person who dosent deserve happiness this brings me to tears.. my ocd gets so bad i feel im in a bubble cant think or function sometimes i wonder how i survive this.. sometimes i think why me? Why do i have this in my brain ? Sometimes i crave happyness so much i crave a normal worryless day. There is so much i want to do but my ocd wont let me move on too much negative thoughts is exausting.. ocd is exausting.
I just want permanent relief. Its been SEVERELY distressing these past 4 months. My mind has created so many fears of what could happen in the future. And the amount of guilt and shame ive felt is literally unbearable. I feel like my life is over. I feel like im not even the same person anymore since ive started ruminating 4 months ago.
Ugh. This is exactly the problem and I can see that this advice is what I need to do, but how do I get from here to there? The only way I can stop my mind from doing this is alcohol - not ideal - also, you can't drink at work! Having this issue feels insurmountable. I'm waiting to get back into therapy and will ask (again) for an OCD assessment. I am Autistic.
Can ocd be seen or detected in Contrast-Enhanced Magnetic Resonance Imaging (CE-MRI)? Please tell.
Please tell me, I’m already feeling very very alienated in this journey and because my mental skills of gelling in with life stuff, people and every single thing has reduced and changed so much, I have become literally so different and disconnected from human world. Please help me.. it feels like I am stuck in a void. I feel like even little children and old people are smarter than me and I have just 1% of their intelligence because I have lived so far away from the positivity, peace and joy and love of life for so long (my whole life almost) that of course I’m lagging behind in self awareness or even anything and everything. Will I ever be able to catch up? The rude and spiteful comments from people has given me enough motivation to recover but I don’t know whether it will be possible to get back to their level of normal again and be as intelligent, alert, agile and be able to work in life and enjoy in full strides again without having this cloud.
this video put into words exactly how my mind works
I jsut don't know how to have self compassion, I cant be kind to myself because I feel dumb AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i am such a hypocrite because i am super kind to friends but cant be that with myself -
Sir I have multiple types of OCD and sometimes it get out of control what should I do 😢
What if your gut feeling alerted you to a possible mistake. You went to bed, and woke up with a solution, but your brain is self-destructively wired and didnt allow you to go through with it? In the end you went for the planned and wrong option, while the other option ended up in a triumph? I just cannot live with myself. I am very gifted, but also gifted for making terrible mistakes while knowing they are mistakes.
This is probably my hardest theme. And then for me mixing in religion / scrupulosity makes it worse for me. Does anyone else's real event make them feel compelled to "out" themselves or make restitution? I feel like a horrible person
I experienced this feeling a lot. The sin/guilt complex runs strong and deep.
Can this go with severe anxiety as well I don't have ocd but I do have severe anxiety and obsessive intrusive thoughts about my past mistakes
Thing is, I was 19 at the time. Unlike everyone doing these mistakes as teens. My brain was fully developed and fully capable of doing such a horrendous act.
It's not just easy to do have self-compassion and stop worrying when stuff you did will get you killed if people find out.
I need help with my ocd I have covid and having covid made myself worse with ocd
Just be careful of opening up too much about very private things to people who don’t know you like mental health professionals. I made that mistake and it’s honestly not helped, I feel worse for it and feel uneasy and ruminate about what notes they’ve wrote and whether it’s accurate. Be careful not to make things worse
On a realistic level for people that have been experiencing feelings of OCD for 6-10 months. How effective is ERP
there are memories 20 years ago that as embarrassing as they were.
Can you truly have more than one type of ocd? (Relationship, pocd, sa-ocd, real event ocd, etc,).
Yes you can have many themes, but in the end it's all OCD, it's tries to trick you. The way to counter it is ERP
😮hello sir I am 17 . I am going through hocd and tocd . My ocd start going meta and I start to like my thoughts and my all value system has ruined .please tell me what do I do. I want all my value system back .I don't want to become a gay please help me
It's going to be okay mate
Try me. I don't even think this is OCD. I was once taken to my boss's office--with her and her chef colleague--for touching my coworkers too much. *_Casually,_* like arms and shoulders. I was always very outgoing and tactile at work. The chef told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment. That I shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school or tell my stories, because they may be inappropriate or upsetting (can't remember her exact words) to others. Now yeah, I pretty much didn't have a filter, but I don't think I said anything _horrible._ I only meant to have fun with my crew. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about subjects and references. She liked that I was outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent. But I didn't mean any harm or discomfort. If I had known anyone would feel either, (though technically no one showed signs), I would not have touched them. And anyway, people casually do it to each other. But despite my side, whenever I expressed my story on YT videos, commenters would still make me feel bad, as if I didn't feel bad enough. "Well, you shouldn't be touching coworkers" or "You sound like a creep" or "The workplace is not where you act that way." I often think "Why can't someone just respond to my story and shame without talking about my wrongdoing or correcting me?" I own if I made anyone uncomfortable, and I would make it up to them if I knew whom.
Can anyone help me understand why I get so infuriated at corny humor such as the “jokes” in this video? “I’ve never made a mistake in my life lulz”. It strikes me as incredibly dumb, and perhaps like a contrived display of pseudo-personality or something. I feel this way whenever I see corny “relatable” humor.
I know it’s probably a defense of some sort, but I don’t know why I always feel this way.
🍑🍑🍑
Dumb Brains LoL
*Compassion
😢😢😢😢 please cure me