Is There No Hope for Love?: Dating Chronicles, Having High Expectations and Finding the ‘One’

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  • Опубліковано 24 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 75

  • @ayannamarie123
    @ayannamarie123 Рік тому +111

    surprisingly I don't agree with the dilemma answer. Ive heard somewhere recently that the "closure conversation" is just a way to put everything on the table and many times the person needing closure is looking for a reason to reengage and hoping the other party will say something that will turn the situation around. I think she should stand firm in her decision to move on. Don't give that man another chance to say he's not interested and waste another 4 more years of your life.

    • @oshinofalakoju5749
      @oshinofalakoju5749 Рік тому +23

      AGREEEDDD!!! Let that man go. If you really want to apologize it should be a clean break and not an invitation to un-pause an already finished situation. I've also learned that closure doesn't exist, it's a personal choice to move on. Loneliness will make anything seem better than what it really was. I pray that Lawyer sis takes a deep breath and makes it to at least 8 months of singleness because the guilt she's feeling is short lived.

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Рік тому +10

      Appreciate your comment. Just a heads up, we clarified this exact position a little further into the dilemma once we heard the time frame. Initially hadn't heard 4 years - upon hearing, it was pretty straightforward for us that we thought she should move on. Thanks for sharing! ✨

    • @oshinofalakoju5749
      @oshinofalakoju5749 Рік тому +4

      @@tomysisters Yes, I watched the whole thing and was very happy to see that Courtney changed her initial stance after understanding what the dilemma said! The comments we made were made earlier on in the video before you clarified.

  • @ThrivingNotDying
    @ThrivingNotDying Рік тому +13

    Someone once said "Don't get married to someone you wouldn't want to go into business with" and that has been so helpful to me. It really is business/legal.

  • @PT-zz9ks
    @PT-zz9ks Рік тому +24

    4 years!? I had to replay that part to hear correctly. You need to be your number one priority right now. Stop caring about him and his "trauma", save yourself and next time about 3 years and 9 months sooner. You guys do not and have never wanted the same thing. That's a simple incompatability and a waste of time. Pray and work to get yourself back to a healed place. Good luck
    Edit: Okay Courtney clocked it. Thank you! Stop the madness

  • @userysl
    @userysl Рік тому +13

    When it comes to struggle love, both parties have usually low self-esteem & are unaware of what their non-negotiables are. I believe struggle love lacks maturity because you are only mature once you have a strong sense of self & self-awareness.

  • @nnennaitanyi8156
    @nnennaitanyi8156 Рік тому +8

    When Courtney shouted "4 years", I almost burst out laughing in my office. I had to say to myself, "Okay, take deep breaths, breathe in, breathe out".

  • @SuperBjagger
    @SuperBjagger Рік тому +13

    Renné 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣That ending cracked me up "look at you, horny devil " I CAN'T 🤣🤣🤣

  • @kadeijadalrymple137
    @kadeijadalrymple137 Рік тому +13

    He's a villain in your story 😂😂

  • @danisacademiccorner4493
    @danisacademiccorner4493 Рік тому +32

    When Courtney gave her initial advice , I said sis did we read the same thing 😅, luckily she processed it later and was like waaaait I retract 😅

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Рік тому +4

      Had to run up the four years again! 😂

  • @DSN430
    @DSN430 Рік тому +25

    I realized how much hope I've lost in a conversation with a friend on Tuesday, realized how bad it is when I told my sister on Wednesday and saw her reaction, prayed about it Thursday, Saturday I was recommended Sarah Jakes Roberts Hungry for Hope sermon and now you guys posted this... I think God is speaking...

  • @idaliarice4773
    @idaliarice4773 Рік тому +6

    Regarding the ding ding ding…. Been there… hoping and praying that he would commit… but what happens is a soul tie is formed and hard to break

  • @bruceneriet5800
    @bruceneriet5800 Рік тому +1

    I have never been in a situationship that lasted for 6 months, and resulted in us dating long term, most relationship conversation usually happen really soon after meeting the guy. If he drags it on or comes with excuses about not being ready for a relationship, he probably wont be ready going into a relationship with you. I take that confusion as a sign

  • @crystallackland
    @crystallackland Рік тому +12

    Yes. A link for the USA. Take all of my coin. I am ordering soon.

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Рік тому

      We love to hear it! Hope you enjoy it ❤

  • @sweetandsimple.
    @sweetandsimple. Рік тому +22

    I promise you literally any thought or feeling I have yall LITERALLY drop a video on it within a 2 week span. Stay out of my head! LOL Love you girls! 🙏🏾

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Рік тому

      Haha, it must be fate! Love you - thank you for sticking by us ❤

  • @Thesilentvoice...
    @Thesilentvoice... Рік тому +10

    For the dilemma, I'd say that the girl should commit to her choice of leaving. Getting closure may get the guy to ''pretend'' to change but not really change actively. It may hurt because she invested so much time and has memories, but she will get a better chance of getting someone better that wants a relationship than sticking with what she knows. It may take time but it's better than staying with the same person who doesn't take her as a girlfriend in those 4 years.

  • @isiomaononye
    @isiomaononye Рік тому +7

    It’s always good to have expectations. When you choose to accept dating anyone just for the sake of “company” it’s empty. When you know who you are and what you want, I believe that it’s worth it to be with someone that is not just a like-mind but someone who you can build and grow with. But I’m def not an expert in this department…😂

  • @KayAlexandria283
    @KayAlexandria283 Рік тому +18

    LOL! You’re totally fine about America, you’re not wrong 😂. I haven’t dated a whole lot in my lifetime but I have encountered some ✨eccentric✨ characters in my days in college to the point where I couldn’t even make guy friends without something odd happening 95% of the time, and one guy was borderline stalkerish. 😅
    And to our good sis on your dilemma- girl! I have been there. I had a very terrible situationship in college and the withdrawals are totally normal, and so is the guilt. You just have to give it time and keep in mind why this is the best decision for you, because four years is a long time to be seeing someone without a commitment. You definitely deserve someone who can give you more without a shadow of a doubt that you’re who they want, because when that man’s heart is in it, he finds a way to make it work no matter what obstacles he has to face.
    Much love sisters! ♥️

  • @samsam_5
    @samsam_5 Рік тому +8

    I haven’t even finished the podcast but I had to come on here just for 16:55 when Courtney realized she didn’t hear 4 years at the beginning of the dilemma😂😂 I was in the same situation for almost 4 years and I still miss him after cutting him off 5 months ago

  • @tiffmoore8831
    @tiffmoore8831 Рік тому +7

    The moment when Courtney went off starting around the 46/47 minute mark was a small sermon. She said nothing but truths -- we all heard you loud and clear ...or at least I did.

  • @nhmdlamini3138
    @nhmdlamini3138 Рік тому +2

    From the beginning to end, this episode was just laughs😂. Thank you Sisters for such an excellent word.

  • @iracundasgirl998
    @iracundasgirl998 Рік тому +2

    Sister said YOU ARE CONFUSED 😂😂😂 53:07

  • @gloriad9932
    @gloriad9932 Рік тому +7

    I particularly loved this end bit, y'all are such a joy!

  • @kadeijadalrymple137
    @kadeijadalrymple137 Рік тому +6

    Dropping gems as per usual 👌

  • @siphokazimagaya9113
    @siphokazimagaya9113 Рік тому +7

    Hi sisters, I just discovered your chanel and I love it so much speaks to me in many ways. I can imagine you with Mpoomy Ledwaba (wisdom & wellness) love from South Africa ♥️

  • @ena2871
    @ena2871 Рік тому +5

    This is such a wholesome episode. Thanks, sisters 💞

  • @tyraali6030
    @tyraali6030 Рік тому +2

    27:53 lmao, the way courtney said ‘so we anticipate marriage’ 😂 amen

  • @hardesholadesh3298
    @hardesholadesh3298 Рік тому +4

    I too had been in a situationship for 4 years I finally left when he got a gf😅

  • @cycyj847
    @cycyj847 Рік тому

    I wasn't in agreement with your first suggestion, but now that you've changed your mind; that's how I was thinking.

  • @aud9720
    @aud9720 Рік тому +2

    It’s the subtle shade😂😂😂👏

  • @bryanairene5183
    @bryanairene5183 Рік тому +2

    I am so enjoying this as I’m kiking with y’all on my solo date! 😄Love the content! Y’all haven’t missed yett

  • @sydneymichelle1609
    @sydneymichelle1609 Рік тому +1

    So excited for the book drop 💙 I been waitinggg for the US link

  • @Room-rc7rz
    @Room-rc7rz Рік тому +2

    Amen!!! Hallelujah!!!

  • @meg.marjorie
    @meg.marjorie Рік тому +10

    Courtney cooked on the marriage part! Its sad how the internet is degrading marriage. If you want to commit to someone why not do it legally?

  • @phumzilemdluli1830
    @phumzilemdluli1830 Рік тому

    love it

  • @pajlc5995
    @pajlc5995 Рік тому +4

    Hello sisters! I would love to hear your thoughts on open, polyamorous, or polygamous relationships. I've been seeing them quite a lot on my tiktok fyp, and it piqued my interest. I don't know if you've already tackled it before though.
    Anyway, you both are amazing as always 😊

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Рік тому +2

      Great suggestion! We've got this in the bag. Thank you for suggesting ❤

  • @OL_sonder
    @OL_sonder Рік тому

    Happy Vday sisters ❤❤❤❤

  • @leahchitundu2448
    @leahchitundu2448 Рік тому

    Amazing topic! You both look fantastic. Can the book also be made available in Zambia 🇿🇲 😍 it would be fantastic 💃💃💃

  • @leah38521
    @leah38521 Рік тому

    Omds I just realised that you guys have a blog🤸‍♂🤸‍♂🤸‍♂

  • @Just_rahimm
    @Just_rahimm Рік тому +1

    We want a link in EU too😩

  • @gloriakanani1026
    @gloriakanani1026 Рік тому

    Another beautiful episode ❤️

  • @kehindealonge5446
    @kehindealonge5446 Рік тому

    Renee is looking so beautiful 😍
    Love you girls🤭😚

  • @nompilomazibuko4615
    @nompilomazibuko4615 Рік тому

    I'm so glad we back tracke because shuuuuu! 😅😅😅 There is no way!

  • @thatcurldom
    @thatcurldom Рік тому

    I’m currently in one and I’m figuring it out 😭

  • @amahlemakhaye3315
    @amahlemakhaye3315 Рік тому +5

    Aside from the QUALITY content y’all feed us week after week, I genuinely enjoy your personalities so much 😂🫶🏽

  • @carmenplaatjies5183
    @carmenplaatjies5183 Рік тому +1

    Usher, Ludacris and Lil jon😌

  • @amandamakhathini8229
    @amandamakhathini8229 Рік тому +3

    A link for SA ke sana ❤😂

  • @Thedesertflower2222
    @Thedesertflower2222 Рік тому +5

    I genuinely love hearing both of these ladies talking, but I feel like I want to hear Rene a bit more. In my opinion, I feel like Courtney is talking for the majority of the time.

    • @oshinofalakoju5749
      @oshinofalakoju5749 Рік тому +8

      I've felt like this before too but regardless, I think they balance each other. When Rene speaks she always speaks with wisdom and holds her own. This is common in podcasts/friendships because everything won't always be 50/50 but it's clear that Courtney still values what Rene says, which makes me happy. I love their dynamic!

  • @WHATEVERKEKESAYS
    @WHATEVERKEKESAYS Рік тому +1

    DID CD BOATENG JUST SAY LORD OF THE RINGS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💀💀 1:01:41

  • @nompilomazibuko4615
    @nompilomazibuko4615 Рік тому +2

    I love me some Courtney but I fear we did not read the same dilemma 🙆🏽‍♀️😅

    • @tomysisters
      @tomysisters  Рік тому

      😂 Clocked it a little later on in the episode 😂

  • @ntokozoskhosana6322
    @ntokozoskhosana6322 Рік тому

    Did they say they coming so South Africa?😭🇿🇦🔥❤️

  • @thetakeoutmenu
    @thetakeoutmenu Рік тому

    Sings* cuz you ain’t got no friends 😩😂😂😂😂

  • @robiemwita
    @robiemwita Рік тому

    @7:44 - 7:55 Comedy💀💀

  • @feyicoker8686
    @feyicoker8686 Рік тому

    Lool at I lost my virginity shortly after becoming a Christian

  • @Tiredttttttt
    @Tiredttttttt Рік тому +11

    Lmao 4 weeks is too much for me without exclusivity and talks of marriage maybe it’s cuz I’m Muslim but 4 years that crazy lol I’m sorry but sis was a placeholder for the ex I wish her healing ❤️‍🩹

    • @userysl
      @userysl Рік тому +2

      How soon do you expect to talk about marriage when meeting someone new? (I’m a Christian so I’d appreciate your response)

    • @Tiredttttttt
      @Tiredttttttt Рік тому +1

      @@userysl A man has to come with the intention of finding a spouse in order to even engage with me, if he’s not a marriage minded man I think it’s a waste of time to speak to him and once we do start the courting stage, within the first month conversations about marriage need to have happened, not saying he’s got to propose but he needs to make his intention of taking things seriously clear, by the 3 month mark, max 6 months we need to decide how we want to approach our families and create a timeline for when we want to start getting ready to get married and have what’s called a “soo donis” in my culture which is him coming to your family to ask for your hand and then having the nikkah which is the Islamic marriage ceremony then a wedding, my opinion is all of this should take less than 1 year from the time you begin speaking to the time you get married. Us Women also need to keep their feelings out of it until things are serious and focus on collecting as much information about this man as possible and then deciding if this is someone worth our time, once feelings are involved people start to make excuses for what’s inexcusable and what we accept at the beginning is what we’ll continue to get for the rest of our lives don’t compromise of the things you know you want, love isn’t anything but a chemical reaction in our brains lol can’t get married on that alone. Hope this helps love & best of luck 🤗

  • @Patience229
    @Patience229 Рік тому

    Can’t wait for you guys to get to SA 🥲