Why Is an Ordinary Life Not Good Enough Anymore? - Alain De Botton
Вставка
- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
- For more videos like this, follow FightMediocrity on X: x.com/FightReads If you are struggling, consider an online therapy session with our partner BetterHelp: tryonlinetherapy.com/fightmed...
This video is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Watch The School of Life founder Alain De Botton's amazing interview on London Real: londonreal.tv/alain-de-botton...
Get any FREE audiobook of your choice here: audibletrial.com/fightmediocrity
If you want a suggestion for the free audiobook or for reading a book, here's FightMediocrity beginner's reading list:
1. Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki: amzn.to/1VLAklY
2. The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss: amzn.to/1Qn5DA5
3. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie: amzn.to/1VLAoCe
4. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene: amzn.to/1VLAoSK
5. The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida: amzn.to/1Qn5EDZ
6. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl: amzn.to/1Qn5GM0
7. Mastery by George Leonard: amzn.to/1VLArOu
8. Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn: amzn.to/1VLAs4S
9. The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday: amzn.to/1VLAslw
The links above are affiliate links which helps us provide more great content for free.
"If you have a kid who is not interested in being famous, you are doing something right"
@Abdul Sabit Ariff Exactly
@Abdul Sabit Ariff very true, example Michael Jordan wanted to play basketball not become famous celebrity, being famous is just a side effect of being the best basketball player in history
Western fame and the actual meaning of fame is very different, everyone wants to have fame to be well known for something such as being really good at a hobby you love. I beleive the person who made the video meant to say not interested in being a celebrity, having fame doesn't mean millions of people need to love us you can be famous in a small community for idk growing potatos
was i raised right then
Facts.
“It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.” -Bilbo Baggins
MrTimmy23 good quote
Exactly! That's why I love the Hobbits, they're happy with their simple lives.
The Hobbits and Tom Bombadill were the best characters in Lord of the Rings, content to ignore everyone and be ignored, unlike the Dwarves and Elves who were fighting pointless wars between themselves for gold and land.
I guess you have to define what is a mediocre life, as it's relative to each person, I couldn't think of anything worse than living in a mansion with five supercars for example or living with people who are super into boxing or UFC or football or any sport so..🤷♂️
Thats not the problem.. is thats not ur decision
Said one of the most famous hobbitd that led perhaps the most extraordinary hobbit life....
I was just pondering on this the other day. As an ordinary housewife I feel like my life isnt valued in society but raising 3 boys and being a faithful wife is very fulfilling and I am proud of creating a loving stable household for my family.
Your life, though I’m sure requires a tremendous amount of hardwork, sounds very nice and joyful!
Respect to you madam!!!
Your Job is the most important in Society
In Islam we say "heaven is under mother's feet" .. respect to all mothers
Yes you go girl 💕✨
"We are suffering from an epidemic of mental unwellness largely bred by the expectation that our lives will be stellar when in fact, they are far more likely to be ordinary"
Unfortunately, in this day and age it feels like even having an ordinary life is out of reach.
I agree, nothing is wrong with being ordinary and living simple, yet we compare ourselves to other people with more success or on social media to people who appear to be happy. It seems almost unbelieveable that you can't be mildly ambitious and still living a fulfilling life. I used to not care, but the other people around me made it seem like lifes end goal could only be extremely wealthy and successful, if i want to tale care of my family and my future. Money is important but something always seemed off about that.
@@julieannafoss6819 Living an ordinary life is the simplest thing! Just not easy lol. All you have to do...wait for it...
is NOT pay attention to the so-called "successful people" and appreciate who you are and your current circumstances. Simple, not easy.
@@invadazim4320 true, true but honestly I crave a bit new experiences you know when you get that month or two off from your work you want to do something instead of sitting in your house because at least that's what you get I guess
I came to this realization myself two years ago after I lost my high paying job and my fiance left me. I fell into alcoholism and depression for the next year after that happened. I thought about suicide daily and at my lowest I attempted it. I then realized that I am good enough, and I like who I am. The awful experiences I've been through were not me, and I rediscovered myself. I now work a decent job and earn a decent living. I take joy out of the little things like eating a nice meal I made myself or talking to my friend online. To an outsider I probably look like I'm an impoverished loser, but I am truly happy with myself and my life for the first time in my life.
To me, you’re a true hero of life. Someone who has the heart of lion who make his own meaning. Me too. I am the creator of meaning. I care about what others think and I care about what I think more. Even more importantly how I feel. You are the truest kind of winner
so happy for you! like the reply above me says, you're a true winner
I had a suicide attempt too. It was two years ago. I now love myself, and I’am worth it.
I found out how much people care about what you do when I quit to stay home with my kids. People used to find me interesting. When I became a stay at home mother, I instantly became the most uninteresting person in the room at any social gathering. Never mind any of my life accomplishments, adventures and stories, without knowing anything else about me, I'm suddenly conservative.
It was depressing at first. Then I came to find there were a minority of people that continue talking to me and they're usually more interesting people themselves. There's a minority of people who don't make snap judgements about a person based on very little information and are worth the time and effort getting to know. So now I see it as a blessing. It's an incredibly fast way to sift through new people I meet and find out who isn't worth talking to when they dismiss someone based on only what job they do for a living.
@@runningfromabear8354 It's so unbearably tedious to be asked over and over again by random strangers what you do for a living. I find most peoples' occupations probably the least interesting thing about them. You are not your job. I'm glad you don't let it get to you.
Too much pressure on people these days...do more more more..be more more more..be the best...have it all...take it all...and work to death...no wonder depression is through the roof.
You said it 👍
Preach 💯 And anxiety!
Spot on.
People before us had much more pressure. We have it better than ever right now. That was also said in the video, but should be understood by anyone with some lessons in history
@@onepointufo pressures to survive back then. Different kind of pressures now. Each generation has thier own..
Stoics from 2000 years ago be like: "man now you're getting it!"
These kids slow! 2000 years and you're still making these mistakes?
And we got a lot more stumbling and mistake repeating to do.......
Like the great Yang Wenli (LoGH), many people should start read history to prevent the same mistakes happen again. Time is precious.
Stoics are the exact opposite of this video, for them it was all about being virtuous, so being mediocre was not an option for them..
Reading Marc Aurel as a young man really does wonders for understanding this philosophy and how to apply it.
Ironically, once you stop caring about superficial "ambition", you start having growth in areas that truly matter. Spiritual growth and discovering your own talents is so underrated, and it's something that's too easy to miss when you spend all day running around.
Very true. It easy to miss because happiness and peace don't look like anything. Can't impress parents with it, get money for it, or show off with it, lol
1000%!!! I'm just in that phase of my life right now, where I pressure myself in doing all what's on my to-do-list. It's never okay nor enough what I do, in my head. In consequence, with all that pressure and negative thinking, I end up doing only minimal things and then play and hang out with a friend, just to avoid that bullshit. It feels so unhealthy, this stupid self-build cage of mine.
So I found out myself as well, that the less I pressure myself and the more I allow myself to be okay, the more I have drive and accomplish stuff. Like natural grow of a plant instead of pulling it to grow bigger. So it was helpful to me to read your comments and see you face the same challenges.
All the best to you, let us be okay and grow naturally as much as we want 👍🏼
@@TheComiKen Yeah, I agree with you, very easy to miss. But without happiness or peace, things fall apart quickly. It seems one of those things that is "not impressive" when there, but very painful when absent.
If you're looking to grow spiritually, read about Islam.
Spot on!
“Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like.”
― Will Rogers
Fight club
Fight Club Reference. Thanks Tyler Durden!
It was george Carlin but a nice comment none the less
It's to understand the uniqueness of how we live life we should learn to appreciate it. Each person each life is different.
Because simply that they being told not to be just them self.
There is an arabic proverb that says:
"Contentment is an endless treasure"
My objective! are you familiar with Swedish Lagom and Danish Hyyge?
Good saying.
@@Magnulus76 if you're only content at the end of progress then you're doing something wrong. Seeing it like that, life is going the be and endless cycle of wanting something and not being content until you get it. Being happy in the now is the goal to achieve.
in Sanskrit, there is shloka literally meaning what you just wrote...
संतुष्टि परम् सुखम्॥
Contentment is the highest happiness...
@@RightNowIGuess No, I don't know what that is
I work as a street cleaner for my local council, I really love my job and have been with my employer over twenty years but when I tell people what I do they can't get away quick enough. Nobody asks me if I'm happy! 😊
I have a friend who I once dated before she moved, she is gorgeous from top to bottom, inside and out an amazing person. her current fiance and she are so happy and I'm proud of both of them.. they both work as sanitation workers ( trash truck drivers) but man I WISH I was that happy and had a partner that amazing.. even if we were picking up trash.
Is that mainly night shift?
I'm currently struggling with my study and the life path i'm going to make, but seeing you happy with your life & job makes me think it's all going to be okay. I aspire to be as happy as you someday, thank you for your inspiration!
Well then allow me if you will. How are you doing?
I'm happy for you. If your available you should message back. BTW I have no issue with what you do.
As a Danish "loser" I've always wondered why so many, if not _most,_ of the people I've met from the US are so obsessed with trying to impress everyone around them by building and sustaining an image of how they want the world to see them and their families. This video explains a lot of that.
It's partially because we don't have the generous social safety net that Dane's enjoy.
Maybe because of ego and the materialistic environment they live in.
I'm an American. It was revelation when I learned that in many European countries, asking one what they do for a living is considered rude. Here, it is one of the first things you're asked when you meet someone. It's their way of assessing how much respect they want to give to you. I'm tired of the race race here and long for a simpler, slower-paced life.
I’m from the U.K. where it seems like we are heading to an American society. Have always admired the Danish way of life and can never understand why more of my fellow Brits don’t embrace it - I must be a ‘loser’ at heart!
Most Americans are ordinary people who work and raise families the best they can. Those in charge are European descendants who created this lifestyle by force.
I started an ordinary life a year ago ...
I lost 99% of the people I used to call my friends and found 99% of the happiness that I once lost ...
Those are fake friends only want to associate with you if it involves money. Same happened to me, I lost alot of friends and live by my own terms
@@ibetternotseeyousimp556 Same here
But who you was before you start your ordinary life?
A politician?
An inventor?
A celebrity?
I'm not gonna joke about your answer. I respect your choice of life because it's your life and only YOU may decide what how to live it.
@@ibetternotseeyousimp556 I always have a simple and ordinary life, although I once dreamed to become somebody. But now, as I have found my few friends who nourished me with the true approval and love I needed, I no longer give a shit to be somebody. I am already contented with what I have, with few friends and few possessions.
It is better to have few "true" friends than to have thousands of fake ones.
@@ibetternotseeyousimp556 I was always generous, until the day I decided to see how I'd be treated if I had no money. Everything changed after that.
"there is nothing wrong with a life of peace and prosperity"
~General Iroh
Such a good animation.
Winter spring. Summer and fall!
Four seasons. FooOOr looovr. For seasons, foor love.
But if zuko had paid attention to him, he would have never become firelord
@@pyukumuku-6645 what about zuko becoming fire lord is against these words?
Social media plays a huge role in this. So glad I decided to quit it all together. I feel free and more happier with myself without it. ✨🌻
Yeah. Deactivation or deletion of spcial media account can make you healthy and happy.
I would much rather have a “Little House on the Prairie” life than this shit that influencers try to push on us day after day. I’m tired of everybody trying to sell me something.
Seriously
Basically: try to achieve your ambitions, but realize that it's okay if you don't achieve them.
I have 2 technical certificates and some college. But I work in a position that requires little education. I like it because I walk all day and meet people who are down on their luck.
It keeps me in touch with the human spirit. I can be myself. Share laughter and soothe pain.
I don't have to lie or cheat or step on anyone. Then I go home and play music and leave the work behind. Nothing better than that.
Personally I feel it talks more about how easily we often are delivered false ambitions and due to our human nature of wanting achievement when we inevitably cannot reach these desires we then suffer as a consequence which we could have avoided if we focused on matters more within our reach which would statistically give us higher rates of success.
@@theresewalters1696 Dude, I want that, too. What do you work?
@@cristianiacob1050 hospital. Check it out.
@@theresewalters1696 thanks
My whole life the school system squeezed as much as it could out of me. They identified me as “gifted “ from a young age and everyone around me was push, push, pushing me. In some ways I guess that’s good. But I developed an eating disorder as a teenager. I was depressed for years. I had perfect grades, got into a good college, was an overachiever, but I hated life and myself. I went to college and had no idea what life I was working towards. The classes were so hard and I was more depressed than ever. Once I dropped out of school and started focusing on myself and my happiness, everything got so much better. People shamed me, questioned me, but pursuing a simple happy life not chasing “success” has finally allowed me to be happy and healthy. My husband and I had a phase where we tried to “keep up with the joneses” and that made us unhappy. Nowadays we live in a small home, drive a couple of beat up , old cars, we don’t always have the nicest of everything and we live on a budget, but we are happy with our existence and don’t have to work ourselves to death to live.
I’m so happy you and your husband are happy. I don’t judge you at all for dropping out of school. College is not for everyone, and that’s okay. People in general need to back off and mind their own business.
People really need to objectively look at 'The Joneses'. If they knew how miserable 'The Joneses' really were, they'd probably not be quite so envious. Some of the most wretched and mean-spirited people I've ever met have been 'successful' -- flash car, enormous house, expensive vacations three times a year, and a warehouse full of the latest consumer electronics, and they've been utterly shitty people who are obviously desperately unhappy.
'Stuff' will not make you happy. It'll provide a temporary distraction, make daily life slightly more convenient, or serve as a talking point in your ongoing attempts to reinforce your meaningless social status... but it won't make you happy.
I'm glad to hear that. Keep it up!
You've basically described my current situation, except I'm still in my teens and deep in the depression stage. Nice to hear there's a happy ending.
You did everything right. Enjoy life because it is short.
My mother always said "as long as there's food on the table and a roof over our heads, we have what we need" and always told us "Just do your best, that's all you can do, whether you fail or not" and it stays in my mind daily. If I do my best at something, it doesn't matter if I fail or mess up, because I know in my heart that I tried, there wasn't anything more I could have done. We aren't always going to win in life, and that's okay. The simple things in life carry just as much value as the big things.
I can't remember the last time someone, anyone, told me it's ok to fail. "You're going to fail," sure. "We're all only human," sure. But, "It's ok to fail, and you're ok," I don't recall ever hearing. That would have probably helped growing up.
Not only is it ok to fail...
A lot of times it’s essential to the learning / process of success!
Google how many of the brilliant people we consider to be genius have failed prior to their success’s.
Literally all of them!
The distinguishing factor in success is perseverance.. they never gave up despite their failures.
Yes, it's so toxic how we're pushed by entire world around us, including enviroment, friends, TV, teachers, parenst and everyone in between, towards this, people just can't keep on "winning" and "not failing" their entire life.
I was rather good in first 4 classes of primary school and when i faced middle and high, i wasn't as happy since
Though i kept getting good grades, i understood straight away, grades and all that shit don't matter, but i couldn't face the A-B grade kid expectations and kept getting good grades
Even though it helped me, i went into a fine university, and after passing 3rd semester just month or so ago i had really serious breakdown out of nowhere - i have school debts, i'm not smart, i couldn't pass my driving licence test, it all pushed so hard on me, even though i tried to be more positive and face the struggles with broad smile, it all just crumbled at 12 PM, and i ran to take the bath and hide my face in tears, sobbing loud. I passed the test after training, but it gave me just a little boost, i still have debts and responsibilites to face just grow.
It's scary, but i hope everyone will find their ordinary life and happiness. Peace, my brejren
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
― Carl Gustav Jung
EVERYTHING? I have a cousin who takes favours from me but never appreciates it. It irritates me about him. How will this lead me to a better understanding of myself?
@@rigeurmortis1 Stop giving favours so much
i find you pretty irritating always posting barely relevant and obvious quotes and now i "understand" that i can't stand phoney tryhards who crave approval
rig could be that you should stop doing favors, or something else. Maybe part of you is scared that you aren’t greatful enough when others do stuff for you, or that you want to have someone in your life who is there to assist you like you do your cousin. Idk.
@The Flaneur You really can't see what that reveals about you?
An ordinary life is a great life. Find pleasure in Nature, family , friends.
Really i miss my ordinary life. The peaceful life with family, friends , i miss my university days and all this due to the war that Azerbaijan started previous week. My country Armenia is on war and every day die 18-20 years old soldiers including my friends. And now i realized that an ordinary life is a great life.
Hussein Kotiach Sounds like projection to me. Also it doesn’t sound like you have any good friends...
That's an extraordinary life if you can do that
You mean just nature right. Without status even family and friends are scares.
An ordinary life has been elevated to what it is due to the work of extraordinary people.
If you never get your hopes up, you’ll never be disappointed.
Being an Arsenal fan has taught me this
"When's it gonna end Robbie?"
This wins. 21 years of ups and downs now. If anything, I’m fantastic at dealing with disappointment.
then how do you dream? are we just not supposed to dream?
💀
🤣💀
Unfortunately, in this day and age it feels like even just having an ordinary life feels out of reach. I'd kill to have an ordinary job.
Ya, I've spent the last three years just trying to get up to ordinary, but have been so stressed by how much further I have to go to get anywhere near extra-ordinary.
Nowadays sadly for most people "ordinary life" and "content life" are not the same. An ordinary life can mean poorness and for so many, in so many countries it does... a content life is nothing flashy, nothing grand, but you don't have to struggle and live paycheck to paycheck. I call todays' times modern slavery for this reason...
Normal job will become degree based or replaced with A.I in future. People havd to work extra harder than usual.
I'm gonna die one day. That fact alone is the reason why i only do the things that make me happy.
This 👑
Yes exactly like the old saying goes do as you will without hurting others don't worry if your life choices don't make sense to anyone else
me too, I mean I will eventually leave this body.
Yohan, yes thinking about death bring us down to earth...to reality.
Which are?
Comparison is the thief of Joy.
Do not get a comparison hangover.
I dont compare. But am still miserable.
one must compare, else you will ignore the hunger that really lies in yourself, that's the flaw wind "good kind "thinking , it's only interested in happy thoughts not interested in the grittiness of reality to achieve happiness, for example every single female ive come across always talks how they always chooses their "freedom" over a relationship, they say this of course after they used the male partner and leached their "freedom" then can and move onto more fertile ground.
comparison is essential as much ass acceptance, Love is essential as much as Hate. your way of thinking is flawed and i will not have you pollute this comment section, in essence i seek to squash your will because my way is better
@saganist 2 true for most. Theres a few religious ascetics but otherwise true.
I don't want my pain taken away, I need my pain
@@kaga13 star trek?
I always feel like I’m not beautiful enough, I’m not successful enough, I’m not resilient enough, not smart enough, not extraordinary enough for me to feel like my life is worth anything. If I’m not rich, famous, brilliant, and influential then what’s the point. I’m just average and I’m not special. And it feels like it’s my fault for not working hard enough to be everything I want to be. I put in so much effort to be barely at the level of my peers when I try to excel at something and I hate myself when I can’t meet the standards I set for myself. It’s just so frustrating to be seen as a failure of an adult by everyone around you when your trying so hard everyday just to not be mediocre...
I know what you mean. Tired of people or videos telling me that I am not good enough and selling me their illusion for a better version of myself according their ideology (they hold the key, the truth) or products. I have now a "f*** you all" mentality. Live and let live.
@@Musika1220 this is how I feel right now..
The irony here is that this channel is called fightmediocrity
Heh good one
I believe that in this context joining the rat race in hopes of achieving success at all costs is the mediocre thing to do.
Trough the power of interpretation I really see no irony
From fightmediocrity to embracemediocrity... 🙄😔😞
the point is that an ordinary life is not mediocre, an ordinary life is good
I live in Finland. Similar to the Danish example. I keep reminding myself that opening the tap water and having thirst-quenching drinkable water is a miracle by itself, to mention one of a long list. To most people in other parts of the globe, that is a luxury.
“The greatest fear in the world is the opinion of others, and the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.”
"A lion that doesn't know how to grow his own food, doesn't own his land, don't know how to maintain his stead, a lion with no ink in his belly. A lion indeed, but in the brutish sense."
(I don't want to put you down, but reality forces us to conform. A person is never truly free until he has found material independence (food, shelter, etc) as well as mental contentment. Until such can be accomplished, the ones that just go ahead and live free, with no regard to others, are more likely to be plagues and parasites to most people).
True, but then again most people are dependent on being in the crowd, and neglecting the opinion of others will get you nowhere. So actually, you should be very careful that the people around you have the right opinion of you because many of them can make or break you.
@@rayakoth
I think you did not get the quote. It does not say: don't give a fuck for others and live your own life on your own. It says: Don't FEAR other peoples opinion, don't get frightened by it.
@@True38 The quote in no point says that you should not give a damn about other peoples opinion or disrespect them or be rude to them. It just says not to be afraid of their biased opinions.
@@Ermo77 The quote in no point says "biased opinions" either, just opinions. And I would argue that you should be a little afraid because like I said many can make or break you. Generally, you should care about the opinions of those who can negatively or positively influence your life and just forget about the rest.
Wow I was just telling my mom this the other day: “what happened to the days when people were content with just being at peace with their lives?”
It's crazy, isn't it
I’m sure your mother was proud hearing you say that too :) that you can see the importance of being at peace with life
But what did she say? Mine said to me once "Don't let yourself be burdened by your possessions".
I have studied and all my family members always encouraged me to do “something fancy with it, where I gain a lot of money”. They kind of predicted it at every family party. And because I love the Netherlands so much I would find a man there whom I will marry. I was going to the Netherlands and I fell into loneliness and depression. I worked at an embassy and I fell into a serious burn-out. Now I’m in my home country and doing an average call center job on part time base. And my (mental) health is better than ever in life. Sometimes it’s the most uninteresting (to other people) things which make you happy. My family is “disappointed” of course.. but I try not to care.
“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.”- Einstein
Amen!
But it may bring less success
@@feartheghus again success is in the mind of the beholder! To me success was being a mother and having a calm and peaceful home .. I ended up a multimillionaire anyway but not by being driven.. often contentment with the simple things and the blessings we already have and simply living life in an organic way leads to levels of worldly success as a side effect, even if a person isn’t constantly striving and “hungry” and motivated toward some end objective and relentless focused on some future goal.. some people simply gently expand into more simultaneously content but gently expanding themselves and their scope of life and calling each day a success without being concerned with competition etc
The message that an ordinary life equals being a loser is a marketing campaign by corporations that have something to sell...to fix it. I live an ordinary life and I love it. My home and car are both paid for; Im not involved in the social media freneny zone, and I have enough money to do what I want to do. What more is there to want.
@TheCoffeeNut711
I guess we use different dictionaries to define normal.
There's also a difference between normal and average. Living an average life isn't good for anyone, which is what thecoffeenut describes.
But a normal life SHOULD be a life like you describe: Living within your means, with enough to spend on what you want, loving life and staying out of unnecessary drama and the wrong kind of comparisons.
Great job! Hope you're sowing good seeds in the people you hang around. We need more people like you.
Daniel G. Jakobsen that’s not an ordinary life in my opinion because most ppl (the99) don’t own their home and car and can’t live within their means because ordinary jobs don’t compensate sufficiently.
@@soberanisfam1323
It isnt the money, it is the mindset. This is true. I met a guy where I just moved to last year that inherited $1 million 7 years ago. He is broke today.
They cannot live within thier means INDEPENDENT LY
what is the family or the country or the corporation but an alliance?
Alliance is how life flourishes and we share burdens and benefits
This is probably one of the most important messages for anyone to hear.
Funny how I found this masterpiece!
Is it just me that feels relief after watching this?
Thank you for this!
The image of the Snake in the Garden telling you that Paradise isn't good enough ... wow, what am image!
Epic analysis. I didn’t get that at first
College is just that, it takes happy minds and tells them the world isn't good enough, and they should be upset they had their birthright taken.. they come out all hateful and fucked up.
@@ThreeDaysOfDan God banishes Adam and Eve to the uncertainty of world beyond for betraying the Paradise He created for them.
In The Truman Show, Truman escapes the Paradise that Christof created for him for the uncertainty of the world beyond.
Perspective is important, there was never a Paradise to return to. There is no birthright.
The snake is everywhere. Also snake: " you dont need an old thermostat, heres a smart-thermostat"
Now when wifi doesnt work people cant even heat up there house.
Snake: "you dont have to grow your own food and know how to make water drinkable. We got you covered. Please come in to the supermarket. Put your mask on, wash your hands and keep 1.5m distance. .... oh i forgot, since you cant grow your own food, prices went up by 10%. Yeah.. whatta you gonna do about it?"
🎯
Can you please explain? I don't get the reference
Its great being ordinary. One can walk anywhere, live without make-up and wear casual clothes. That's called comfort.
"Its okay to be mediocre" - channel named FightMediocrity
lol'd when I saw this too haha
Compared to standards today, mediocre is equal to a good life depending on how you see it.
ordinary does not equal mediocre
but yeah I saw that too
🤣😂The irony. Perhaps the reason I have ignored this channel in my recommendations until now.
Here you go my advice. Try to know when and where someone put those "voices" in your mind telling you needed to try harder. You will understand that it was not all your fault. Parents, teachers, friends, society quite often, and some times inadvertently innoculate the virus call "EXPECTATIONS". The high expectation can definitely lead to frustration and unhappiness. We are living the richest and most abundant society ever. And we don't have enough. Because this crazy society of production and consumption doesn't want us to be happy. A happy person doesn't buy many things. This consortium of companies and shareholder only want we buy more. That's all. Work, buy and die.
Thank Alain the Bottom and School of Life Team.
You guys are really saving many many people's life.
I was reading an article about Carl Jung, who recommended facing our fears and moving forward against them. So, in other words, our good feelings come through action and being aware of our progress. Long term happiness does not come from buying one more widget. There will be a small dopamine "hit," but it will expire quickly. Jung's advice reminds me of the flow state where we lose track of time because we are 100% involved in an activity.
Ordinary is a good life! Not many are called to lead Nations. I'm very happy with my small 1 bedroom cabin on a quiet road, heated by firewood which I usually cut myself. I own an old jeep which I'm very happy with, I have four regular bills per month in summer because my well runs dry so I buy water every month. When winter comes I have three bills per month, I am warm, fed and fairly happy living alone.
I also have a hobby turning wood into useful items like bowls, cups, boxes and such. After my firewood is all in I have my wood lathe to turn to and stay occupied creating little pieces of art which people seem to like a lot as I sell some here and there.
That's beautiful
@L I know.
That's good
Sounds to me like you're living the dream
Why are you watching youtube then?
"Expectations are the root of all suffering". Don't let society, other people, marketing, etc. force their invalid and false expectations on you.
I would say "unrealistic expectations" are the root of all suffering. If I take my car to a mechanic to have it fixed and he charges me money but doesn't fix the car then the mechanic is the source of my suffering. Not my "realistic" expectation.
@@psoltan Imagine going to the mechanic, he charges you and says: Sorry bro couldn't fix ur car but yea
.
"Don't believe something just because it's in quotation marks"
Expectations are what allow you to extract worth from something, existing isn’t free, and you consume many things that are finite and rare once looked at from a wider range. If we begin to expect nothing or very little of people, then they will the majority of the time becomes burdens and parasites to those who do anything of noticeable value.
@@jryan2552 he doesn't owe you anything, if he wants to live in peace let him/her be! F your expectations 🖕
When I watch historical content, it’s always stuff like a day in the life of an ordinary person or an ordinary family that’s the most interesting.
Yet women avoid the ordinary like the plague nowadays. Why is that?
As someone, who recently turned 20 and is slipping into a Quarter-Life Crisis, this was really helpful. You have all these expectations and not achieving them can break you, if youre not grounded from time to time
@@PerimenopauseHealth I hear that so often, and I wonder what exactly people mean by that. I would appreciate it if you could elaborate.
I mean, I notice that those who say these words and those who hear them understand them very differently.
@@Amba_AradamQuarter Life crisis is pretty harsh, i can for sure say that with my 23 years. Sudden changes in life, looking for job, trying to make money on whatever way you can, dating for normal relationship seems like hardcore mission, happiness fading pretty fast, expectations of you are crazy and so on and so on.
"Little can be added to the happiness of a man in good health, without debt, who sleeps with a clear conscience. " That was true when it was written 200 hundred years ago, and is true today.
Nice
Oh, love it! This is my life goal now. And spend more time in nature.
* deep quote to make people think I got it all right but actually I'm just as clueless as everybody else *
* snappy comeback to make people think I am clever but actually I'm just as brain-dead as everybody else *
And thats okay!
😂😂 expert of the experts right here
Like seriously! Why do people have to respond by quoting others! Respond to the vidro!
Rainbow Lion to fill the empty intelligence vortex 😂
"Greed is a temporary powerful ally to some but a deadly enemy to all in the end. So I've chosen to live in simplicity instead of success"
-Grand Master Roian Kensui (my martial arts master and dearest friend/brother.)
"You're okay, it's okay ....." so comforting ☺
“Love one another... and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: mind your own business and work with your hands... so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders.”
I Thessalonians 4:11
I think that shows how far our society has gone from any kind of Christian ethic. St. Paul is basically saying "boring is good".
Or in the words of Master Yoda "Excitement... Adventure... a Jedi craves not these things".
This is the one video that the whole damn world should watch every early morning
The problem is that people don’t know about this video or Alain de botton.
Yes.
This video really questions our existence...do we matter or not???
There are unanswered questions in the universe... we'll never know that we'll be able to answer them
I would like this comment, but I don't want to ruin the 111 thumbs up.
@@Lia-my5fb Thank you Sylvia. That's very kind of you.
"The whole purpose in life is to not interfere in anyone else's.", Frank Zappa.
I'm 23 years old and I struggle with feeling inadequate even though I was a high achieving student all my life and went above and beyond my peers to be as "successful" as possible. In my last year of college I picked up a dance major, stayed and extra year to finish it and I will never regret that decision. It's ok to do the things you love and live a ordinary life instead of pursuing a career that's causing you depression just because you feel pressured to fit some kind of model of what "success" looks like. I am trying to understand that NO ONE needs to be perfect all the time.. also I need to quit social media! hahaha
I’m more than happy living a chill, mediocre, private life.
Yea, definitely, peace of mind is priceless
I loved that. I'm a Loser and I really enjoy my Loser life! I'm an artist and religious contemplative,that's what I DO but what pays my bills etc is the 3 hours every day I spend cleaning in a large retail store. That's what society will pay me for. It gives me the freedom to live the way I want. I've never had ambition in the accepted way.
God bless you loser jane. You keep being positive.
So long as you are happy, you will be okay.
I’m like you sister! Just working part time and enjoying every day rather than working long hours waiting for retirement. I could go on like this till the day I die.
Jane Baker is your sex life happy?
What job is that? I’m an artist too and looking for a job with short hours 😅 I hate that 8 hours is normal. It’s too long for something that is not enjoyable.
I needed this so badly today. Alan's voice soothes me so much. An ordinary life. What a beautiful thing, and how easily we look past it. All I want is an ordinary life, and sometimes it feels hard to pursue (without running away into the middle of nowhere).
I had imposed so much pressure to myself thinking that success was measured by how much you own in life and that made me depressed that I could not handle it anymore... I changed my life now and realized that my path is just to live simply...
The fact that some of you still associate living an ordinary life with mediocrity shows that you really didn’t understand the video.
It is uncanny how the youtube algorythm gives us these nuggets of wisdom exactly when we most need them
I finish art school in 3 months. After that, I will draw when and how I like. Before coming, I had prayed to God to help me regain the love for drawing I had as a child. My ambitions were lofty to the high heavens, but after a spiritual event which dissolved a good portion of my ego, I've found my way back to my original love and joy of creating. I only had to give up the neurotic desire for likes, followers, recognition, money, fame, etc.
Drawing for its own sake was my joy from the start! I had just forgotten.
Preoccupation with judging others is distracting people from making proper judgements on how best to go about living one's own life.
Interesting message from the channel called FIGHT MEDIOCRITY
I was about to write something similar
I felt that way too. Then I remember this is a book summary video. Good job for presenting a contrasting perspective.
NIGHT9SKY I was joking if you couldn’t tell.
I think the mediocrity comes when you make yourself miserable for not being a millionaire (or similar). Most successful people would have been happy without the fame and fortune, which is actually a key component to their success a lot of the time. They do what they love/are curious and passionate about. The money and recognition is a byproduct a lot of the time.
@@richardleston5237 Tbh, I really felt some irony (not in a bad way). But a diversity of ideas is good.
This video is so satisfying. I had to come to grips with this pretty quickly after I graduated, and it took a while, but I finally realized...my parents (a nurse and a laborer) clearly did not love their work. It paid the bills (sometimes) and they took pride in doing their jobs well, and that was enough for them and that’s what I saw at home growing up, but I was also a 90s kid who was told to reach for the stars, because the sky was the limit. I wish more people discussed this.
If you are not good enough without it, you'll never be good enough with it.
You don’t know the pleasure I get from simply having delicious food, sports, and a good social circle around me.
A good smooth pen, a great sunny weather, a walk in the cool night breeze.
I feel you brother 👊
It took a lifetime of working to acquire my small condo and a small pension to live on. If people look down on me for that I dont want to know those people.
My grandpa worked on Cryogenics industry (the only place he could gain education for this matter was Odessa and Protvino in the late 70s USSR), and my Grandma still does so. Both my grandparents are 70 and are great people who worked their sweat off to this day, and i'm very proud of them, but my country, it seems, not so much - once USSR crumbled, all the bonuses and possible payouts for them did so as well and they're both left with a pension around 220 dollars (And i'm highballing like there's no tommorow), in the same range is MLW, and such tendency is still relevant after so much promises from out country, one of the biggest countries worldwide.
Nothing new though, i bet there's millions if not thousands of millions of people that lived such a fate, and it's just really hard to believe.
Wish you the best, kind stranger!
intriguing vid, thank you for this
Yo Melanie Faye on here?! What a pleasent surprise.
One of the most real and on point videos I’ve seen and I watch a LOT of YT videos and haven’t even finished this one yet. Cudos for real
But the thing is, ordinary life in some countries is extraordinary life in others. Thats whats more saddening.
And interestingly in those poor countries people seem to be happier with less..
It's relative what he was talking about, but yes, it's sad that's how life is
Bro people in the 3rd world countries are happier and less stressed out (ofcourse if they have food) - im not talking about countries with no wars and medium lifestyle
@@TaherNagati false i live in a third world country and everyone here is pessimistic and complain all the time
Look of up neocolonialism and primitive accumulation; "ordinary life" is a nice way for De Botton to dodge all the systematic causes of these problems and the historical context.
I think both are necessary.
Embrace where you are now, embrace your failures, embrace your mediocrity, recognize all that you can do, because that's who you are.
But realize what you could be, strive for greatness, not because you're going to get there, but because it's going to give you a direction, a purpose, a dream, and without that life can be meaningless.
Do both of those things at once and you'll be happy, because you'll be happy with where you are but also with where you're going. Like in fitness: love your body but don't be content with it, keep improving out of love.
We are dynamic creatures. Live only in the present and you'll get bored, live only in the future and you'll get frustrated. Seek both, equilibrium.
That's called striving to be your best self
True! Harboring too many expectations and ambitions is unhealthy and destructive, no doubt, but life also needs purpose, meaning, and fulfillment, so ambition is necessary for that.
Saving because it’s so good.
I'm content with my body.
An ordinary life for you may be a mediocre life to me and visa versa. We each have a distinct personality, access to assets and a set of gifts both intellectual and physical. Strive to be the best version of yourself.
We have been given this planet. The generations of people that came before us have given us access to incredible opportunity. It seems to me, that we have a responsibility to give back what we can.
I feel I've done a lot of "extraordinary" things in life already including living abroad and doing different things. I'm living an ordinary simple quiet life right now and equally enjoying it. I have stable job, good food, more than enough things. Next year, I'll be putting my foot into another extraordinary goal, creating a clinic with my boyfriend who is graduating from school soon. But we only hope to make clinic "successful" enough for us to live comfortably. For now, I'm relaxing and loving where I am.
The best thing I've ever seen on UA-cam, was this video. I'm grateful to have found it...🙏🏽
In other words: Stop being stuck for wanting to be someone else’s best version instead of striving to be YOUR best version. Don’t be ordinary in who you are, strive to be your extraordinary self.
I get what you’re saying. And at the same time, these versions of myself and somebody else is quite exhausting. I like how I am now. I am good as I am. Not just the “best” version.
You're still putting pressure on yourself this way. Even to yourself, you only have to be good enough. There's nothing wrong with being satisfied with your current self if you already feel happy and fulfilled.
Yeah not what I got from this video
@@theresachung703 The happiest you is the best you
@@irok1 oh my gosh! YES!!!!! This is the sentence I have been looking for. I will make myself happy!
It's a wild guess but I think it has something to do with digitalization and social media. Now that we are able to see the 'adventurous' lives of the rich and famous on a daily basis it's no wonder that we want the same. It seems like everyone is having fun and doing crazy stuff all the time. And in order to have that we think we need to be extraordinary.
But what most people tend to forget is social media is basically a highlight reel of a person's life. Nobody is showing their bad times,failures etc on social media so people assume they are always living the best life which is a blatant lie
@@asim9795 "A highlight reel of a person's life". So true! It creates the illusion that everybody is always happy and lives a perfect life and it causes this peer pressure of having a more exciting, adventurous and crazy life than everyone else. Eventually it creates this vicious circle...
It's our own internal mechanisms coupled with the amplification social media brings. By nature, we're wired to constantly compare ourselves to others based on what we find valuable, be it wealth, wisdom, pleasure. Social media allows that comparison scale to expand thousands of times over as many times as we want throughout the day. Thinking back at it, Alain made a whole documentary around it, "status anxiety" I think is what he called it.
Absolutely
@@asim9795 when I was on social media I shared the good, the bad and the ugly, I wasn't always the most popular person for doing so.
Yes, wow, that moved me to tears. This is the message we need to internalize
It's okay to be ordinary, it's okay not to be extraordinary. We don't need to be extraordinary to find love.
Life is so much more of a struggle than it needs to be and messages like this are a necessary pressure release valve
"Trying is the first step towards failure. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try."
-Homer J. Simpson
Often people who are striving to be extraordinary are doing so to cover up the fact they don't have the ability to be ordinary.
Wow!
This is put in the context that you can be extra at being ordinary. It takes a lot to be ordinary, to view your life as it is and not what it should be. It sometimes takes extra doing so.
That is so profound and true
As it is the other way round.
There is very little lasting happiness to be found in a world that is so focused on material pleasures. A simple life ironically has much more potential for that and I think more and more people begin to realize that lately.
Yes, I think so too. And that realization also comes most of the time with age, not always but
I can relate to that. I've always been minimalistic, not materialistic. However, I do think obtaining financial freedom in life is important and that you should strive to fulfill your own potential. At the end of the day, I'd rather be rich than poor, because money does in fact make you happy, especially because it buys you freedom. Now, of course, the process of making that money is often painful, but hey you could always not be willing to do the work, stay poor, and in your comfort zone.
@@True38 As long as I'm far away from people and their nonsense and drama I'm good.
@@Apricot90 Agreed. Surround yourself with winners only and become a winner yourself. That's key to a great life my friend :)
the coronavirus gave me that realization.
I love this. 100% truth. This is why so many brilliant people kill themselves. The pressure to constantly supersede their own best, the constant need to be brilliant and perfect and exceptional is unbearable.
This is so comforting to hear, I have already had these kinds of thoughts, but I keep getting pushed
My favorite phrase from an AA meeting..."Strive to be ordinary."
Being "ordinary" in Denmark, Sweden, or even the US is awesome but what if you're in other countries where you could barely eat 3 times a day? Can barely send the kids to school? Barely earn 5 USD a day?
It's hard to be ordinary and just settle for poverty. Right?
Absolutely spot on. He has to be referring to western countries.
Yes but then again in those poor countries where im from you can live a stable life with 300$ a month salary. You may not own a home or car with that but with a 800$a month salary you can own homes cars cafes if you know how to save and invest.
By the way, fortunate people will usually have trouble understanding this. Not being pessimistic but it's reality.
@@adventuresofla2638 True man. Even when I move to the USA soon i'll still keep my hunger and striving for better I won't settle or conform to the mainstream.
@@adventuresofla2638 True man. Even when I move to the USA soon i'll still keep my hunger and striving for better I won't settle or conform to the mainstream.
Thank u for giving so much light on this. Really helped me mentally.
This opened my eyes. Thank you so much for this video!
I’ve been to “the other side.” I have never understood why a good day at my job with a hot meal and music I love isn’t enough.
I live a fairly peaceful life which was my goal when I left the military. I wanted a union job with good wages, retirement, benefits, security, and not getting jagged around by a person with one additional stripe on his shirt. I ended up with a family I love and if I died today I’d feel like I’ve done well and gave my daughter a solid foundation of self love and character and my wife will consider the last eight years a fulfilling experience and the dog would mourn my passing.
sounds like a perfect life to me. perfect in a different sense. i could agree with everything you say. sounds like a wise stoic life to me.
@@natedoherty3462 thanks man, I had different ideas about what was important when I was younger but my daughter is getting ready to leave for the Air Force and it makes me think about what I truly care about.
Great job, not listening to what others pressured you to do in life... It seems a really perfect life
A union job was the best decision to make.
@@emuriddle9364 it was my only decision, the rest of it kind of just happened
This video addresses something so very important, absolutely excellent, thanks Alain de Botton!
This video articulates everything I’ve felt in my soul but haven’t known how to express for the last two years. So good
Being rich, or poor is relative. Being successful is based on how you define success. Nobody chose to be here, but we can at least be civil, and respectful of each other's wish. Do you!
So well expressed. This is such a meaningful message for these times.
I’m really glad I stumbled onto this video. Reminding me of who I really am and what is truly important to me. You’re 1000% right. Our society, and recently for me, my friend pushes us to believe we won’t be anything if we live an ordinary life. We need jets, mansions, yachts in order to feel accomplished and like our life was worth living.
the BEST video I've watched in a while. Makes so much sense.
This is just humanity. We always want to do better and want what's out of our reach.
..and when we reach what's was once out of reach then we start looking further and never actually becoming happy
@@LukasVymetal Yep that's our fate :P But I think we have to be like that because we would have died out a long time ago if we weren't. I'm more content doing nothing than almost anyone but there's a limit for me as well :)
lukaszepesi In all seriousness, what does it matter if we don’t exist? You haven’t existed for eons, and you will not exist for eons after you croak within your tiny human lifespan. If humans stop existing, the universe will go on and not even notice.
@@secretagent4610 So what? You can still enjoy your life and try and make the best of it. Are you saying you'll only be happy if your life affects the entire universe?
lukaszepesi I didn’t say you can’t or shouldn’t enjoy your life while you’re still alive, and I’m not saying I’ll only be happy if it affects the universe. What I am trying to say is that the endless striving for externals is not so enjoyable to me, which is a major, if not the entire point of the video.
I'm so glad I came across this video. Not too long ago I was thinking about this exactly, and realized how striving to be in that 1% had ingrained this belief in myself that I was useless. It made me miserable. Ever since I changed my outlook I have felt happier just being secure in myself, and not having to prove anything. This video felt like a sure affirmation :)
One of the best messages I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you 🙏
Thank you for saying this - all of it. It's so depleting to see this and feel this and not have anyone want to address it like you have (but of course you did!)
This brings peace to my heart.
I needed this, thank you!
This message bring tears to my eyes n got me sad in some type of way but in also in a happy way.
Exactly my thought process! Nicely said. And on top of it, always try to do your best.
I love you so much! You literally just freed me from 5 years worth of pressure