Sending you lots of love, support, and respect for your personal growth! Hoping and praying for you as you find your place in the world and learn how to protect your system. DissociaDID System always moves and inspires me as I struggle with many of the same things. I've never been diagnosed with DID, but I have been counseled for dissociative symptoms, so their videos can definitely help a wide variety of individuals!
@@xaryn.bluebearyn yeah we aren't diagnosed as well. Because no therapist wants to work with us:/. But we are 'plural' have part flashbacks and dissoziate a lot of a day so we probably have OSDD Typ 1b so DiD with out amnesia:) you don't need a Diagnosis 👍👍
Damn. Saying that a child can’t comprehend their caregivers as the abusers because it doesn’t make sense evolutionarily ... that exactly makes sense to me. Oh my god.
Mikausitis - ? Why wouldn’t you believe Nin and the system? They link all their sources and have scientific evidence backing themselves up, and they clearly describe it, saying multiple times that they wish people to be more informed on the subject.
The way you say 'it was never your fault' is filled with so much love, reassuranse and confidence. It should've been botteled up and sold as an ointment or something.
When you started to talk about internalizing and got to the part about what we say to ourselves due to not being able to see our caregivers/parents as bad, I instantly started crying. I've always thought that about myself. I've always thought that I'm the problem. I'm the reason people are mean to me and abuse me. There's something wrong with me that makes them want to do that. I'm the thing that needs fixing. If only I was better, smarter, prettier, happier, etc. then maybe I would be deserving of their love and they wouldn't hate me anymore. Maybe then they'd actually want to keep me around. I'm crying so much right now.
You were never the problem. You are wonderful and have always been just what you were meant to be. There's nothing wrong with you, just them. You deserve safety and love
@@sn00chie33 I think the saddest part for me is that even though Nin said all those nice things after, my brain blocked them out and turned it around and said she's not talking about me. I'm not worthy of love. I've no reason or purpose to be here. My brain has gotten so corrupt over the years of abuse....
When u started talking about how it wasn't my fault i literally started retreating further back into my bed YOU WERE STARING ME DEAD IN THE EYES and telling me something i have heard from others before but it somehow felt more real this time idk how to accept it-
@@rachelcharnock2665 i actually am but im also slowly recovering from a dpdr episode(depersonalization derealization) but also researching OSDD and DID because-well-let's just say i started noticing some very odd things.
When Nin said that all the blame and guilt i had put on myself was my brain trying to survive, that broke me. I'm speechless, i don't know what to do now.
@@Elienaisuper2 I don't have D.I.D., but have been through severe prolonged (and ongoing) trauma as an adult (and my brain was/is strong enough to not dissociate, so I "only" have PTSD). I am just moved my your comments to respond. Know that these comments and threads are read, and validated by many more people than you can even fathom. And every time someone is vulnerable and brave here, while thinking, or having thought, that they are the only one, all alone in their trauma nightmare, there are, in truth, multitudes more, who understand you, and who gain validation and strength from your voice speaking up. Thank god for the internet. This channel absolutely embodies what is great and powerful about it.
@@sn8323 That comment Made me feel so loved i don't deserve this and i am so proud of you for surviving and i know you can live and thrive away from your trauma
I almost cried when you started talking about how we internalize that sort of hatred and abuse because that's what I've been doing my entire life, thinking that i'm the one who's in the wrong, that i need to be fixed, and that perhaps i'm even beyond 'fixing' and i don't deserve to be loved. So thank you for this video, it really helped me see from a different perspective
"It was never your fault." Been going through a bit of a rough patch lately (not being abused or was abused for anyone worried, something completely different) and this just made me cry. Guess I needed to hear this. Thanks Nin :)
We love you Nin! At 8:12 - When you said "It was never your fault." We cried because we believe that everything (even today) was and is our fault. We are going to share part of this vid with our counselor tomorrow. God, all of the sudden can hardly type and feeling "weak". Anyway, We all love you(s). Thank you for doing what you do. Love and Light.
I've always had a hard time understanding why people who are abused stay with their abusers, but this makes it so much clearer. It makes me want to cry. Very informative video, Nin. Thank you.
Cat Lynn many are children like me and have nobody else to stay with, family members alongside the traumatised children are left vulnerable in situations and find it hard to turn against a family member
Some decide it’d be best to stay with their abusers. Either they think they can tough it out, or they do not think they have a better place to go. Also a lot of parents manipulate their kids to make them feel like they are lucky, and their discontent is invalid. They start believing this is normal, or that they are just dramatic. I know many that actually don’t like their parents, but just use them for basic food and shelter. They just take the hits and press on.
I learned about you through Anthony Padilla and I'm so glad. You've left me in tears with your message of love and positivity. I've suspected for years to have CPTSD but I've never been able to afford a therapist. Thank you for existing
The science nerd in me loves how you just broke everything down using science. I've taken every science course there is to take and I'm constantly viewing my own physical/mental health on a biological and chemical level. Good job! Also I'm crying. Wow. It's hard to remember that I'm deserving of love.
I really love that after you explain why people feel unloved or broken, that you turn around and say that they are. It feels like you are talking to each person individually and it feels very personal and I cannot thank you enough. It feels so good to be validated and to be told that you ARE loved. Your videos help me so much and I hope that one day I will be financially stable enough to help with Teampinata and your patreons. I appreciate you both so much and I want to be able to show that in another way than just a comment. Sending all my positive vibes to both of you❤️
As someone with a trauma disorder (ptsd) at a young age. (I'm 15, I first was diagnosed when I was 10). I love learning more in a Way that make it fairly hard to trigger me. Nin and the entire system dose such a good job of helping me learn about what happened to me and why I have reacted the way I did and how o can move on from it. I'm not 100 but this change has helped me so damn much and I love it.
I wish psychology wasn’t so taboo. I feel like almost every argument and sooo much frustration comes from a lack of knowledge or understanding. Your videos are incredibly helpful for others to understand themselves and to help understand the people around them!
I cannot express the amount of love and respect I have for Nin and the DissociaDID system as a whole. Not only do you dedicate so much time and effort into educating the community, not only are you guys so dedicated as to showing us raw footage of your experiences to help us learn and understand, but you have the outstanding amount of charisma to make me smile while talking about trauma (Nin popping up all over the screen is so cute and made me laugh while the topic at hand was scary!) Again, immense amount of respect and love for the system, stay safe, stay beautiful, stay you ❤
thank you so much!! im sending this to my psychology teacher because when he went over dissociative disorders in his unit, it was more like a "debate if its real or not" kind of thing.
Did not realize my severe chronic pain disability now was related to my past and the DID causing traumas. This brings things into a whole different light. Thank you. ❤
I just had the same realization... also I didn't realize there were other people who had this problem. I kinda hoped I was the only one because no one should have to live this way. But at the same time it also sucks that no one understands what it's like to be in constant pain all the time.
Hello, to all of you! I know you will never read this, but...well, at least I tried. The reason why I'm sending you this message...it's to apologize, and also thank all of you. You see, I'm an amateur writer, and since I began (back in 2013), I've always been interested in writing a story about a person with DID. But i never did. And one of my new year's resolutions was doing it. But when i sat down to do it...the only reference i had of a person with DID wasn't even real. It was James McAvoy's character in Split. And for a long time, i thought that it was okay. BOY WAS I WRONG. I realised it was wrong when i started watching your videos...like a week ago (i can't stop, i love every single one of you) So...yeah. I'm sorry for that. And thank you for opening my eyes, and help me see better the world, and understand it. Thanks to you, "Dissociate" will be a better story, and it may raise awareness here, in Argentina. I sure hope so, at least. Thank you again and...have a nice day!
Muchísimas gracias por educarte sobre estos temas y reflejarlo en tu trabajo. El mundo necesita más personas así, y una representación más correcta y sana (aunque suene irónico) sobre desordenes, transtornos y divergencias mentales.
@I love you!! if you need an inside perspective on borderline personality disorder or eating disorders (specifically anorexia nervosa) I'd be happy to talk about my experience.
Thank you so much for making me feel seen, heard, and VALID! Nin you help so many people. Thank you for all that you and the DissociaDID system do. Much love.
As always this video is presented in such an informative and clean way. Makes it super clear for singlets and newly discovered systems not aware of the science behind trauma. Hope the Entitled DID conference goes well! Much love❤️
This is explained SO GOOD! As a med student, I applaud you. You get across so undeniable what even a lot of not-psychiatrists dont get. Great Job, here to learn and hopefully help others in your situation or a similar in the future :)
Love the look! Thank you for everything you guys do, you really helped us with validating our system and you helped me to realize I was the host :) Lots of love from our system to yours! -Kaylee (host/core)
Dear dissociaDID before I discovered your channel I had no clue what DID was or it’s existence I knew nothing about it I didn’t know how it was formed but then I found this channel and I find it amazing and interesting and I think the videos on this channel are absolutely educational to people like myself so I feel DID is a very unknown condition and I feel it needs more research around it because if I never found this channel I would of never found something I’m so interested in Thank you❤️
Same here. DID is intriguing. I study psychology and anything with the brain fascinates me. Especially to see the positive and negative effects. To know we can maybe help people with love. It's wow. Wow is the only word.
I had gone through a lot of childhood trama, it wasn't constant, but it still effects me to this day and it's just really sweet of you to just remind me that's I am not in the wrong
oh god i’m sitting here sobbing, thank you so much Nin, honestly never on my own would i have thought that the things i was thinking and feeling as a child was my brains way of protecting me, hearing your kind words really touched my heart and i truly cannot thank you enough for making series like this. you’re absolutely amazing
[TW] It's really hard to process still to this day ... It took me long to understand that I went throught a form of emotional/psychological trauma as the way my father treated me was for him his way to ?love? I guess ? Took me 15 years to realise that it wasn't normal to fear my father every time I said or did anything. Thank you Nin, hearing this I hope will help next time I think I'm undeserving of love or even life
I genuinely am so grateful for this video. I was diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease around the age of 16 ( I’m nearly 21 now) and I haven’t been the same since. It felt silly for a long time to think of my diagnosis and what happened after as a “trauma”, but now I am finally coming to terms with what I have to live with now. You just made me feel completely validated. Thank you. Never been instantly brought to tears by something like that. Sending you and your system massive love.
I've just begun having therapy focusing on events from my childhood and beyond, which I have never spoken about to anyone, and that is partly because of the education, bravery and kindness I found in your videos. I am incredibly fortunate to not have DID or PTSD, but for so many years I've carried around all the internalised feelings you so eloquently describe here. Thank you for putting this into the world and helping people like me and others to realise our pain is real and valid, and we're not selfish for seeking therapy. I honestly can't thank you enough.
the bit at the end where you said "it was never you're fault and you're deserving of love" gave me tears. that's what i repeated in my head after my trauma. sometimes i still do cause i don't feel like i did enough to keep myself safe.
Thank you so much for this Nin! I’ve been needing this for a while. I have ptsd(caused by a therapist, mostly) so getting help is really hard. This really helps me. Also first!!!! I’m so happy about that
“You have a right to be here...” wow. THANK YOU. As a person that has always struggled with internalisation, this has hugely resonated with me - I didn’t know I needed to hear that so again thank you so much, this video was brilliantly made and has really touched me. ❤️
Do you have a video specifically for OSDD? I thought you did but I cannot find it. Things are making a lot of sense lately (concerning childhood trauma).
Hi lovely system, I'm trying to rewatch all of your videos and I will also start taking notes because I have a pretty terrible memory over time. I've been on therapy for my depression for over one year now and I remember back in time when I was experiencing the worst of it all alone, I was watching your videos and they gave me a big, big comfort ❤I want to thank you for that, for the beautiful light you are for so many people! I'm currently experiencing quite a stressful period because I'm not perfectly able to stick to my university exams schedule, but the fact that I'm not giving up is also thanks to YOU ❤ I hope you read this and if you do, just know that you are deeply loved and appreciated, your content is precious and extremely helpful to feel validated and seen❤Lots of love!
Can you make a video on feeling guilt on being different and having needs? (Ex: being flakey/cancelling, needing isolation, needing to rant, etc) You shouldn't feel guilty for being chronically ill, disabled, etc but I feel like it happens to everyone My mom got really bad ptsd watching me nearly die and I know it's not my fault but I feel guilty that i "did that" to her
"It was never your fault. You’ve always been deserving of love. You always will be deserving of love. You have a right to be here and you did not deserve what happened to you." I needed to hear this. Thank you Nin, and thank you DissociaDID
Thank you so much, I’ve never had someone tell me those things before. I really needed that. You’ve been a really helpful educational resource I can turn to when my mind reverts to the programs created by trauma as a child. You’ve helped me to identify these programs and rewire them.
I’m amazed seeing that you are so hypnotic and calm, your voice especially is very reassuring. I just started shivering and feeling ill when you talked about deserving love. It’s difficult to internalise those ideas. I’m very happy that I found your channel. Thank you Nin. Thank you guys, all of you. ❤️
i don’t have DID, but i love this channel and all of the members of the DissociaDID system! i do suffer from mental illness, and you absolutely nailed it, Nin. thank you for being so outspoken!
I’m loving this channel!!! I love learning more and being more educated about people and my world 😌 I’ve been PTSD free for a bit over 4 years now, and I’m very thankful that I don’t remember much of my trauma. This video is also really helpful for me understanding WHY I reacted to the trauma the way I did. Keep on teaching 😌
I have been watching you, Team Pinata and Multiplicity and me non stop for the past few weeks since I found your channel. I went from not even knowing this disorder existed to understanding a bit more about DID. I don't think I will fully understand DID as I do not have it but I really enjoyed learning more about it. I just want to say I enjoyed your videos a lot and I hope you will have a great day. Love from Singapore ❤️
I don't usually cry because of movies,videos and stuff,even when i relate to something.I cry a lot,but only cause of stress and...well,ptsd. But i fell in tears with this video.Definetly a great one.You rock.
Hearing you say that it wasn't our fault for simply trying to get by and survive was honestly both heartbreaking/heart-mending because you really don't realize the things you do to survive until someone points it out because you're so used to living in a certain lifestyle that you don't know what's 'good' or 'bad', its just your normal. And to hear someone say with so much love and acceptance that it wasn't our (my) fault and that I deserve love was....just so empowering I started crying. Thank you for sending out this message, it truly does help people and it made me feel safe and understood. I'm so glad you guys are doing what you're doing, please stay safe and never stop!!
Although I know lots about trauma as someone living with C-PTSD, the section on internalization as a child was validating beyond belief to hear. Thank you so much!
Wow. I was really not expecting to cry. No one has ever explained that so well and told me what I really need to hear. It's been said in different ways, and I've told myself the same thing many times, but you really helped it sink in. It's confusing when in my practical life I've sort of put my past traumas behind me. It's been years since I had any contact with my abusive exes, and I'm happily married now and living a good life. But at the end of the day I know that trauma still exists inside of me and always will.
the part where you were saying how it wasn’t my fault really made me start crying my eyes out. i grew up telling myself that everything was my fault and that i didn’t deserve to be happy, so hearing someone say that while really meaning it made me brake down. thank you.
Me:*being able to hear the list of trauma* I was right, not traumatized Nin: When the fight or flight system fails. Doesn't work. Can't keep the person safe Me: *breaking down* f*ck
This was so extremely informative. Thank you. I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was 19 & never really got it explained to me, especially not like this. I was basically just told “you experiences multiple traumatic events in less than 6 months that’s why you keep having panic attacks & flashbacks”.
It’s crazy how things work out like this. I was just beginning to question some things that happened to me in my childhood and then you uploaded this video. It was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much 🥰
7:23 and onward hit me hard because that described everything I struggled with in childhood-highschool. When I went to therapy in college that was the first time I heard it wasn’t my fault. Nin’s words just reaffirmed things I’ve forgotten since therapy. Thank your system so much for your system’s continued love and care as well as informative videos.
Thank you for this video. I keep struggling with the way I reacted during and after the assault. It was by someone that I had already been sexually involved with (many times coerced/pressured) and who had been emotionally abusive to me over the course of two years. Remembering that it’s common to not active the fight or flight response in domestic abuse type of cases is very reassuring. Any kind of behavior on behalf of the abuser is truly normalized. Thank you.
💜 When you spoke to the camera and said you didn't deserve for those things to happen to you, it felt like you were talking to me personally. I really loved that... I appreciate you so much
One of my friends recently told me she had this and I've been trying to learn more about it to help her and your videos help me with that, keep doing what you're doing!
I went to months of therapy and got nowhere because all she ever said to me is that it wasn’t my fault, I knew that in my brain she didn’t need to say that to me. Having Nin explain it and why it happens and it actually making so much sense into why I feel that way, it made me cry. I don’t really do that much any more. Thank you, I’m not diagnosed with anything I just have had trauma that I struggle to deal with sometimes, but frankly I’m now scared of professionals because of the terrible experiences I’ve had. Thank you for everything you guys do!!
7:57 thank you so much, I really needed to hear that :’). I struggle with reverting back to saying it’s my fault, etc. When it comes to my ptsd as the person who caused my trauma used to tell me these things. That I didn’t deserve love, that I was stupid, that he was always right and I was always wrong.
Honestly love this channel so much!! We've never been diagnosed with D.I.D or anything like that, but this channel makes us feel like we aren't alone and help us understand more about ourselves and our system!! It's great knowing other people go through what we go through and that other's are trying to understand it!! Thank you so much for making this channel!!
This is one of the best videos on youtube I've seen in a long time. Clear, compassionate, and I know this sounds weird but I finally GET it. Thanks for speaking about these topics I know it's probably really hard sometimes but I just found your channel and I appreciate your voice. Sending love to y'all keep up the great work!
The part at the end where she is saying it’s not my fault really hit me. It made me realize how internalized my hate it. I’ve never really had anyone say that to me. I’m 19 now and I’m still dealing with a lot of things that I like to think shouldn’t effect me now. But I still always blame myself. I try to be the best person I can be and use a lot of my self hatred towards that, but wow... that was really uplifting.
This made me cry.. Thank you. I really needed to hear this. Even if I can't except it and still deny that I am worth anything, I still know it helps me to hear this. I really appreciate what you do. Lots of love to the system ❤️
Hi DissociaDID system! I recently found your channel from the video that was posted on Anthony Padilla's channel and your courage amazed me. Personally, I was just recently diagnosed with CPTSD. I struggle really bad with intrusive thoughts and this video that you have posted above made me feel hopeful again. When you said, "you didn't deserve it. You are worthy of love," I wanted to reach through the scream and just hug you through my screen. Thank you for having the courage to teach us about DID and other mental disorders. I enjoy watching your videos and cannot wait for more! ps- I hope things are safe over there for you! My state in the USA is on the verge of a shut down I believe. Stay safe!
Thank you so much I'm crying so hard I always thought it was my fault and finally I can't makes sense of the fact it isn't. Thank you thank you thank you. Nin, you and the whole system have saved my life and helped my mental health journey so much. I love you all.
Your channel helps me a lot. I have PTSD from childhood trauma. I'm 25 years old and have been away from my childhood home for nearly 8 years. I've struggled so much with dealing with my trauma and trying to move forward with my life. Daily I have to remind myself that Im good enough. Last year your channel showed up in my suggested list and I have been tuning in since. Your wisdom and knowledge has helped me help my husband understand why I am the way I am. You're an inspiration and such a beautiful person, inside and out. Your videos reach people like me. They help us work through things and understand things a little better. I thank you for all the time and dedication you put into this. Always remember that you are making a difference. ❤💜
The ending made me cry , I felt something like that yesterday with an arugment that left me feeling like I hate myself an theres something wrong with me etc this is what I needed to hear love the video nin thank you ❤
you explain this in a way that makes so much sense. as someone with no traumatic past, I've struggled to understand things like DID at all, and whilst I understood the basics of PTSD, you're really making the specific logic and science behind it click for me. thank you for this!
I'm watching all of your videos without experiencing any sort of trauma and without knowing anyone w trauma and reading all the comments I'm so so grateful dang 🙏 hopefully I'm educating myself as much as possible
This actually helped us. A lot of our littles (me included) struggle wif thinking we’re bad. And dis helped us understand why our brain does what it do to help us. We not known we exist for more than 2 months and we not out of our bad situation yet but. Dis helped us. Thank you Mx Nin!
I'm 23 and recovering from CPTSD formed in childhood. I discovered this channel when Chloe first starting making videos. I feel like my healing journey has grown and transformed in parallel to this channel, now the beautiful and amazing Nin is the host. And thanks to this channel I can say I'm also a different person from when I started my healing journey and first started watching your videos. We've all grown so much, thanks for everything
You have such a gift of teaching and empathy. I am blown away by your videos everytime, but this one made me cry, it touched deep places inside me that i didnt even realize were hurting. Thank you
this is SO enlightening and validating! i feel like i've learned so much about trauma and psychology in the last few years but of course theres always something more to learn and you always have something to offer me that's life changing in its accessibility and applicability to my life. i have so much love for you all and your passion for sharing such important information!!!!!!
I was diagnosed with PTSD about a year ago and this video taught me SO much more than any other resources. I’m gonna show this to many of my close friends in order to properly explain to them what it means to have PTSD. Thank you so much for making this video! So enlightening!
thank you for this. my best friend has been emotionally/verbally abused by her father and you gave me the words i need to tell her. watching her grow up flinching every time someone yelled, immediately claiming everything that went wrong as her fault... i didn't understand it for so many years and after i figured it out... my heart breaks for her every time she comes to school with That look in her eyes... thank you
bpd is also a form of c-ptsd, and surprisingly has a lot in common with did/osdd, for anyone who may be curious. it's formed through repeated trauma and one of the most common causes is narcissistic parenting.
Nin. Thank you so much. This video hit very close to home as someone with PTSD. Sadly for me this was the first time since my childhood trauma (I am now 23) that I heard anybody say it wasn't my fault. Thank you again. You and everyone in the dissociaDID system give me hope.
I thought I'd be okay watching this but at around 8:30 I just started crying and im still crying. But I love the video and your amazing content, keep it up love.
Bro... I am... this made me cry. Like, I had a pretty chill childhood, but you guys are doing such a great job to let everyone know that they are okay. And that they are worthy
wow. one of the best videos on the channel. Your doing gread Nin!
Sending you lots of love, support, and respect for your personal growth! Hoping and praying for you as you find your place in the world and learn how to protect your system.
DissociaDID System always moves and inspires me as I struggle with many of the same things. I've never been diagnosed with DID, but I have been counseled for dissociative symptoms, so their videos can definitely help a wide variety of individuals!
@@xaryn.bluebearyn yeah we aren't diagnosed as well. Because no therapist wants to work with us:/. But we are 'plural' have part flashbacks and dissoziate a lot of a day so we probably have OSDD Typ 1b so DiD with out amnesia:) you don't need a Diagnosis 👍👍
Sending you love💕💕
@@Hydra_sss You can have DID and don't have amnesia? I guess I can learn every day, that's why I love psychology.
@@Hydra_sss Anyway, I really hope you're doing better now
Me? Sobbing because someone who doesn't know me said it was never my fault? Definitely.
Same
same
same
same
same
Damn. Saying that a child can’t comprehend their caregivers as the abusers because it doesn’t make sense evolutionarily ... that exactly makes sense to me. Oh my god.
but its true
Yeah it is... 😭 I think we all can relate to this ..even we don't have DID
When i tell you i started crying when she said that
Same. Children have no options.
O.O same O.O
Nin feels like the friend who will be brutally honest with you, but like, in the nicest way possible.
People who actually link their sources make my soul cry with joy
Annika Oehlenschlæger people who believe this girl has multiple personalities, make me happy, that corona is killing us.
Mikausitis - ? Why wouldn’t you believe Nin and the system? They link all their sources and have scientific evidence backing themselves up, and they clearly describe it, saying multiple times that they wish people to be more informed on the subject.
@@miksausitis people who deny mentally ill people with professional diagnosis, make me happy that corona is killing us.
@@rory4623 you- you're h a p p y that millions of lives are dying to a pandemic?
@@improbablycommenting8469 I think they were just mocking the other person, and they don't actually think that
The way you say 'it was never your fault' is filled with so much love, reassuranse and confidence. It should've been botteled up and sold as an ointment or something.
YES
I guess I'm not the only one to realize how powerful the way she says things is
I wish my mom talked like that to me. That's all I ever needed from her. And I never got it.
Not gonna lie: was crying real tears at the "deserving of love" part. Great job
Didnt expect that reaction while I was watching but it hit home really hard🥺😢😭
Me too
Same
When you started to talk about internalizing and got to the part about what we say to ourselves due to not being able to see our caregivers/parents as bad, I instantly started crying. I've always thought that about myself. I've always thought that I'm the problem. I'm the reason people are mean to me and abuse me. There's something wrong with me that makes them want to do that. I'm the thing that needs fixing. If only I was better, smarter, prettier, happier, etc. then maybe I would be deserving of their love and they wouldn't hate me anymore. Maybe then they'd actually want to keep me around.
I'm crying so much right now.
me too :(
Sam3
I hope you're feeling a little better, this was a hard video to get through for my myself as well.
You were never the problem. You are wonderful and have always been just what you were meant to be. There's nothing wrong with you, just them. You deserve safety and love
@@sn00chie33 I think the saddest part for me is that even though Nin said all those nice things after, my brain blocked them out and turned it around and said she's not talking about me. I'm not worthy of love. I've no reason or purpose to be here. My brain has gotten so corrupt over the years of abuse....
When u started talking about how it wasn't my fault i literally started retreating further back into my bed YOU WERE STARING ME DEAD IN THE EYES and telling me something i have heard from others before but it somehow felt more real this time idk how to accept it-
I hope you are working through things and feeling better friend xx
Oh shit i understand that.... Bpd ptsd and did... I never understood it untill now
@@rachelcharnock2665 i actually am but im also slowly recovering from a dpdr episode(depersonalization derealization) but also researching OSDD and DID because-well-let's just say i started noticing some very odd things.
When Nin said that all the blame and guilt i had put on myself was my brain trying to survive, that broke me. I'm speechless, i don't know what to do now.
Do you have anyone to talk to? Do you journal? ❤
@@TG-bz3wu I don't jornal because i cringe a lot xD i do have someone to talk to but i pretty much just comment and that's how i feel better
@@TG-bz3wu Thanks for your concern tho :,3
@@Elienaisuper2 I don't have D.I.D., but have been through severe prolonged (and ongoing) trauma as an adult (and my brain was/is strong enough to not dissociate, so I "only" have PTSD). I am just moved my your comments to respond. Know that these comments and threads are read, and validated by many more people than you can even fathom. And every time someone is vulnerable and brave here, while thinking, or having thought, that they are the only one, all alone in their trauma nightmare, there are, in truth, multitudes more, who understand you, and who gain validation and strength from your voice speaking up. Thank god for the internet. This channel absolutely embodies what is great and powerful about it.
@@sn8323 That comment Made me feel so loved i don't deserve this and i am so proud of you for surviving and i know you can live and thrive away from your trauma
I almost cried when you started talking about how we internalize that sort of hatred and abuse because that's what I've been doing my entire life, thinking that i'm the one who's in the wrong, that i need to be fixed, and that perhaps i'm even beyond 'fixing' and i don't deserve to be loved. So thank you for this video, it really helped me see from a different perspective
"It was never your fault."
Been going through a bit of a rough patch lately (not being abused or was abused for anyone worried, something completely different) and this just made me cry. Guess I needed to hear this. Thanks Nin :)
Nin learned teleportation!
Holy shit 700 liked, thnx!
Nori
HOLY-
700th like 💕
We love you Nin! At 8:12 - When you said "It was never your fault." We cried because we believe that everything (even today) was and is our fault.
We are going to share part of this vid with our counselor tomorrow. God, all of the sudden can hardly type and feeling "weak".
Anyway, We all love you(s). Thank you for doing what you do. Love and Light.
you are such an inspiration. you definitely deserve all the love in the world❤️ you are amazing love
I've always had a hard time understanding why people who are abused stay with their abusers, but this makes it so much clearer. It makes me want to cry. Very informative video, Nin. Thank you.
Cat Lynn many are children like me and have nobody else to stay with, family members alongside the traumatised children are left vulnerable in situations and find it hard to turn against a family member
Some decide it’d be best to stay with their abusers. Either they think they can tough it out, or they do not think they have a better place to go. Also a lot of parents manipulate their kids to make them feel like they are lucky, and their discontent is invalid. They start believing this is normal, or that they are just dramatic. I know many that actually don’t like their parents, but just use them for basic food and shelter. They just take the hits and press on.
I learned about you through Anthony Padilla and I'm so glad. You've left me in tears with your message of love and positivity. I've suspected for years to have CPTSD but I've never been able to afford a therapist. Thank you for existing
The science nerd in me loves how you just broke everything down using science. I've taken every science course there is to take and I'm constantly viewing my own physical/mental health on a biological and chemical level. Good job! Also I'm crying. Wow. It's hard to remember that I'm deserving of love.
pagenumber394 I second all of this!
it's definitely difficult, I've always been the one my friends have looked to for strength and it's hard to look after my own needs as well
I want to send you lots of love 🥺💙
Also same to everything you said 😂
Reby V you deserve all the love in the world!!!
Ngl, i come back to this video every once in a while when things get worse. Nin's little speech always makes me feel so much better.
Aww I hope you're doing great now!^^
"It was never your fault." That struck me straight to the heart. I've always felt like it was my fault
When you talked straight to the camera I really felt like you were talking just to me, one on one . Thank you for your message
I really love that after you explain why people feel unloved or broken, that you turn around and say that they are. It feels like you are talking to each person individually and it feels very personal and I cannot thank you enough. It feels so good to be validated and to be told that you ARE loved. Your videos help me so much and I hope that one day I will be financially stable enough to help with Teampinata and your patreons. I appreciate you both so much and I want to be able to show that in another way than just a comment. Sending all my positive vibes to both of you❤️
this was so articulate and I learned so much ! thank you for your videos
As someone with a trauma disorder (ptsd) at a young age. (I'm 15, I first was diagnosed when I was 10). I love learning more in a Way that make it fairly hard to trigger me. Nin and the entire system dose such a good job of helping me learn about what happened to me and why I have reacted the way I did and how o can move on from it. I'm not 100 but this change has helped me so damn much and I love it.
I wish psychology wasn’t so taboo. I feel like almost every argument and sooo much frustration comes from a lack of knowledge or understanding. Your videos are incredibly helpful for others to understand themselves and to help understand the people around them!
I cannot express the amount of love and respect I have for Nin and the DissociaDID system as a whole. Not only do you dedicate so much time and effort into educating the community, not only are you guys so dedicated as to showing us raw footage of your experiences to help us learn and understand, but you have the outstanding amount of charisma to make me smile while talking about trauma (Nin popping up all over the screen is so cute and made me laugh while the topic at hand was scary!) Again, immense amount of respect and love for the system, stay safe, stay beautiful, stay you ❤
When you were saying that it isn't our fault, I started crying. Thank you, I needed to hear that.
thank you so much!! im sending this to my psychology teacher because when he went over dissociative disorders in his unit, it was more like a "debate if its real or not" kind of thing.
That's so annoying 😅 please do!
1. You are so pretty
2. You have a way of reaching people
3. I cried.
You have a beautiful soul
Did not realize my severe chronic pain disability now was related to my past and the DID causing traumas.
This brings things into a whole different light.
Thank you. ❤
I just had the same realization... also I didn't realize there were other people who had this problem. I kinda hoped I was the only one because no one should have to live this way. But at the same time it also sucks that no one understands what it's like to be in constant pain all the time.
I had the same realization! I have chronic pain and illness and didn't know they could be related to trauma
Hello, to all of you! I know you will never read this, but...well, at least I tried.
The reason why I'm sending you this message...it's to apologize, and also thank all of you. You see, I'm an amateur writer, and since I began (back in 2013), I've always been interested in writing a story about a person with DID. But i never did. And one of my new year's resolutions was doing it.
But when i sat down to do it...the only reference i had of a person with DID wasn't even real. It was James McAvoy's character in Split. And for a long time, i thought that it was okay. BOY WAS I WRONG.
I realised it was wrong when i started watching your videos...like a week ago (i can't stop, i love every single one of you)
So...yeah. I'm sorry for that. And thank you for opening my eyes, and help me see better the world, and understand it. Thanks to you, "Dissociate" will be a better story, and it may raise awareness here, in Argentina. I sure hope so, at least.
Thank you again and...have a nice day!
Muchísimas gracias por educarte sobre estos temas y reflejarlo en tu trabajo. El mundo necesita más personas así, y una representación más correcta y sana (aunque suene irónico) sobre desordenes, transtornos y divergencias mentales.
@I love you!! if you need an inside perspective on borderline personality disorder or eating disorders (specifically anorexia nervosa) I'd be happy to talk about my experience.
Thank you so much for making me feel seen, heard, and VALID! Nin you help so many people. Thank you for all that you and the DissociaDID system do. Much love.
As always this video is presented in such an informative and clean way. Makes it super clear for singlets and newly discovered systems not aware of the science behind trauma. Hope the Entitled DID conference goes well! Much love❤️
Is a singlet a person without DID?
Vanessa Walsh yes
This is explained SO GOOD! As a med student, I applaud you. You get across so undeniable what even a lot of not-psychiatrists dont get.
Great Job, here to learn and hopefully help others in your situation or a similar in the future :)
Thank you very much!
Love the look! Thank you for everything you guys do, you really helped us with validating our system and you helped me to realize I was the host :) Lots of love from our system to yours! -Kaylee (host/core)
wow, that final affirming message that it's not my fault actually really hit me. thank you for the informative video!
Dear dissociaDID before I discovered your channel I had no clue what DID was or it’s existence I knew nothing about it I didn’t know how it was formed but then I found this channel and I find it amazing and interesting and I think the videos on this channel are absolutely educational to people like myself so I feel DID is a very unknown condition and I feel it needs more research around it because if I never found this channel I would of never found something I’m so interested in
Thank you❤️
Same here. DID is intriguing. I study psychology and anything with the brain fascinates me. Especially to see the positive and negative effects. To know we can maybe help people with love. It's wow. Wow is the only word.
I had gone through a lot of childhood trama, it wasn't constant, but it still effects me to this day and it's just really sweet of you to just remind me that's I am not in the wrong
I had missed you guys. I'm glad you released a new video
oh god i’m sitting here sobbing, thank you so much Nin, honestly never on my own would i have thought that the things i was thinking and feeling as a child was my brains way of protecting me, hearing your kind words really touched my heart and i truly cannot thank you enough for making series like this. you’re absolutely amazing
[TW] It's really hard to process still to this day ... It took me long to understand that I went throught a form of emotional/psychological trauma as the way my father treated me was for him his way to ?love? I guess ? Took me 15 years to realise that it wasn't normal to fear my father every time I said or did anything. Thank you Nin, hearing this I hope will help next time I think I'm undeserving of love or even life
I genuinely am so grateful for this video. I was diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease around the age of 16 ( I’m nearly 21 now) and I haven’t been the same since. It felt silly for a long time to think of my diagnosis and what happened after as a “trauma”, but now I am finally coming to terms with what I have to live with now. You just made me feel completely validated. Thank you. Never been instantly brought to tears by something like that. Sending you and your system massive love.
when she said "its not ur fault" i almost had an epiphany 🥺🥺
“it was never your fault”
hold up i’m crying why am I crying i never cry
I've just begun having therapy focusing on events from my childhood and beyond, which I have never spoken about to anyone, and that is partly because of the education, bravery and kindness I found in your videos.
I am incredibly fortunate to not have DID or PTSD, but for so many years I've carried around all the internalised feelings you so eloquently describe here. Thank you for putting this into the world and helping people like me and others to realise our pain is real and valid, and we're not selfish for seeking therapy. I honestly can't thank you enough.
the bit at the end where you said "it was never you're fault and you're deserving of love" gave me tears. that's what i repeated in my head after my trauma. sometimes i still do cause i don't feel like i did enough to keep myself safe.
Thank you so much for this Nin! I’ve been needing this for a while. I have ptsd(caused by a therapist, mostly) so getting help is really hard. This really helps me.
Also first!!!! I’m so happy about that
“You have a right to be here...” wow. THANK YOU. As a person that has always struggled with internalisation, this has hugely resonated with me - I didn’t know I needed to hear that so again thank you so much, this video was brilliantly made and has really touched me. ❤️
Do you have a video specifically for OSDD? I thought you did but I cannot find it. Things are making a lot of sense lately (concerning childhood trauma).
Not yet but a Debunking DID on it is coming!
Katherine Howie YES
@@DissociaDID yaaaay, I don't think I understand the concept fully so I know it will be a great video since Nin is an amazing teacher
DissociaDID Woo!! Thank you so much we can’t wait!! :) ❤️❤️
-Zee
DissociaDID can you mention the difference between did and osdd? Idk the difference
Hi lovely system, I'm trying to rewatch all of your videos and I will also start taking notes because I have a pretty terrible memory over time. I've been on therapy for my depression for over one year now and I remember back in time when I was experiencing the worst of it all alone, I was watching your videos and they gave me a big, big comfort ❤I want to thank you for that, for the beautiful light you are for so many people! I'm currently experiencing quite a stressful period because I'm not perfectly able to stick to my university exams schedule, but the fact that I'm not giving up is also thanks to YOU ❤ I hope you read this and if you do, just know that you are deeply loved and appreciated, your content is precious and extremely helpful to feel validated and seen❤Lots of love!
Can you make a video on feeling guilt on being different and having needs? (Ex: being flakey/cancelling, needing isolation, needing to rant, etc) You shouldn't feel guilty for being chronically ill, disabled, etc but I feel like it happens to everyone
My mom got really bad ptsd watching me nearly die and I know it's not my fault but I feel guilty that i "did that" to her
"It was never your fault. You’ve always been deserving of love. You always will be deserving of love. You have a right to be here and you did not deserve what happened to you." I needed to hear this. Thank you Nin, and thank you DissociaDID
"It was never your fault."
Thank you Nin
Thank you so much, I’ve never had someone tell me those things before. I really needed that. You’ve been a really helpful educational resource I can turn to when my mind reverts to the programs created by trauma as a child. You’ve helped me to identify these programs and rewire them.
I’m amazed seeing that you are so hypnotic and calm, your voice especially is very reassuring. I just started shivering and feeling ill when you talked about deserving love. It’s difficult to internalise those ideas. I’m very happy that I found your channel. Thank you Nin. Thank you guys, all of you. ❤️
How can a 23 year old speak directly to me, an old, outwardly conservative, business man, and make me feel so much? Well done.
i don’t have DID, but i love this channel and all of the members of the DissociaDID system! i do suffer from mental illness, and you absolutely nailed it, Nin. thank you for being so outspoken!
I’m loving this channel!!! I love learning more and being more educated about people and my world 😌 I’ve been PTSD free for a bit over 4 years now, and I’m very thankful that I don’t remember much of my trauma. This video is also really helpful for me understanding WHY I reacted to the trauma the way I did. Keep on teaching 😌
I have been watching you, Team Pinata and Multiplicity and me non stop for the past few weeks since I found your channel. I went from not even knowing this disorder existed to understanding a bit more about DID. I don't think I will fully understand DID as I do not have it but I really enjoyed learning more about it. I just want to say I enjoyed your videos a lot and I hope you will have a great day. Love from Singapore ❤️
Check out Fragmented Psyche too! Very informative and funny as hell!!!
Another great channel is, the entropy system. They also do informative videos but more from a personal standpoint.
I don't usually cry because of movies,videos and stuff,even when i relate to something.I cry a lot,but only cause of stress and...well,ptsd.
But i fell in tears with this video.Definetly a great one.You rock.
As some one who had a traumatic childhood this channel has helped me alot thank you
Hearing you say that it wasn't our fault for simply trying to get by and survive was honestly both heartbreaking/heart-mending because you really don't realize the things you do to survive until someone points it out because you're so used to living in a certain lifestyle that you don't know what's 'good' or 'bad', its just your normal. And to hear someone say with so much love and acceptance that it wasn't our (my) fault and that I deserve love was....just so empowering I started crying. Thank you for sending out this message, it truly does help people and it made me feel safe and understood. I'm so glad you guys are doing what you're doing, please stay safe and never stop!!
Although I know lots about trauma as someone living with C-PTSD, the section on internalization as a child was validating beyond belief to hear. Thank you so much!
Wow. I was really not expecting to cry. No one has ever explained that so well and told me what I really need to hear. It's been said in different ways, and I've told myself the same thing many times, but you really helped it sink in.
It's confusing when in my practical life I've sort of put my past traumas behind me. It's been years since I had any contact with my abusive exes, and I'm happily married now and living a good life. But at the end of the day I know that trauma still exists inside of me and always will.
... i never realised i am going through ACTUAL trauma and not just me being like "oh it's the trauma" as like a lighthearted joke.
It seems like one of the things that is a sign of trauma is denial
the part where you were saying how it wasn’t my fault really made me start crying my eyes out. i grew up telling myself that everything was my fault and that i didn’t deserve to be happy, so hearing someone say that while really meaning it made me brake down. thank you.
Me:*being able to hear the list of trauma* I was right, not traumatized
Nin: When the fight or flight system fails. Doesn't work. Can't keep the person safe
Me: *breaking down* f*ck
This was so extremely informative. Thank you. I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was 19 & never really got it explained to me, especially not like this. I was basically just told “you experiences multiple traumatic events in less than 6 months that’s why you keep having panic attacks & flashbacks”.
It’s crazy how things work out like this. I was just beginning to question some things that happened to me in my childhood and then you uploaded this video. It was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much 🥰
7:23 and onward hit me hard because that described everything I struggled with in childhood-highschool. When I went to therapy in college that was the first time I heard it wasn’t my fault. Nin’s words just reaffirmed things I’ve forgotten since therapy. Thank your system so much for your system’s continued love and care as well as informative videos.
Thank you for this video. I keep struggling with the way I reacted during and after the assault. It was by someone that I had already been sexually involved with (many times coerced/pressured) and who had been emotionally abusive to me over the course of two years. Remembering that it’s common to not active the fight or flight response in domestic abuse type of cases is very reassuring. Any kind of behavior on behalf of the abuser is truly normalized. Thank you.
💜 When you spoke to the camera and said you didn't deserve for those things to happen to you, it felt like you were talking to me personally. I really loved that... I appreciate you so much
One of my friends recently told me she had this and I've been trying to learn more about it to help her and your videos help me with that, keep doing what you're doing!
I went to months of therapy and got nowhere because all she ever said to me is that it wasn’t my fault, I knew that in my brain she didn’t need to say that to me. Having Nin explain it and why it happens and it actually making so much sense into why I feel that way, it made me cry. I don’t really do that much any more. Thank you, I’m not diagnosed with anything I just have had trauma that I struggle to deal with sometimes, but frankly I’m now scared of professionals because of the terrible experiences I’ve had. Thank you for everything you guys do!!
7:57 thank you so much, I really needed to hear that :’). I struggle with reverting back to saying it’s my fault, etc. When it comes to my ptsd as the person who caused my trauma used to tell me these things. That I didn’t deserve love, that I was stupid, that he was always right and I was always wrong.
Honestly love this channel so much!! We've never been diagnosed with D.I.D or anything like that, but this channel makes us feel like we aren't alone and help us understand more about ourselves and our system!! It's great knowing other people go through what we go through and that other's are trying to understand it!! Thank you so much for making this channel!!
This is one of the best videos on youtube I've seen in a long time. Clear, compassionate, and I know this sounds weird but I finally GET it. Thanks for speaking about these topics I know it's probably really hard sometimes but I just found your channel and I appreciate your voice. Sending love to y'all keep up the great work!
The part at the end where she is saying it’s not my fault really hit me. It made me realize how internalized my hate it. I’ve never really had anyone say that to me. I’m 19 now and I’m still dealing with a lot of things that I like to think shouldn’t effect me now. But I still always blame myself. I try to be the best person I can be and use a lot of my self hatred towards that, but wow... that was really uplifting.
*is
This made me cry.. Thank you. I really needed to hear this. Even if I can't except it and still deny that I am worth anything, I still know it helps me to hear this. I really appreciate what you do.
Lots of love to the system ❤️
Hi DissociaDID system!
I recently found your channel from the video that was posted on Anthony Padilla's channel and your courage amazed me. Personally, I was just recently diagnosed with CPTSD. I struggle really bad with intrusive thoughts and this video that you have posted above made me feel hopeful again. When you said, "you didn't deserve it. You are worthy of love," I wanted to reach through the scream and just hug you through my screen. Thank you for having the courage to teach us about DID and other mental disorders. I enjoy watching your videos and cannot wait for more!
ps- I hope things are safe over there for you! My state in the USA is on the verge of a shut down I believe. Stay safe!
Thank you so much I'm crying so hard I always thought it was my fault and finally I can't makes sense of the fact it isn't. Thank you thank you thank you. Nin, you and the whole system have saved my life and helped my mental health journey so much. I love you all.
Your channel helps me a lot. I have PTSD from childhood trauma. I'm 25 years old and have been away from my childhood home for nearly 8 years. I've struggled so much with dealing with my trauma and trying to move forward with my life. Daily I have to remind myself that Im good enough. Last year your channel showed up in my suggested list and I have been tuning in since. Your wisdom and knowledge has helped me help my husband understand why I am the way I am. You're an inspiration and such a beautiful person, inside and out. Your videos reach people like me. They help us work through things and understand things a little better. I thank you for all the time and dedication you put into this. Always remember that you are making a difference. ❤💜
The ending made me cry , I felt something like that yesterday with an arugment that left me feeling like I hate myself an theres something wrong with me etc this is what I needed to hear love the video nin thank you ❤
you explain this in a way that makes so much sense. as someone with no traumatic past, I've struggled to understand things like DID at all, and whilst I understood the basics of PTSD, you're really making the specific logic and science behind it click for me. thank you for this!
The way you said “it was never your fault” teared me up. Thankyou for this video
I'm watching all of your videos without experiencing any sort of trauma and without knowing anyone w trauma and reading all the comments I'm so so grateful dang 🙏 hopefully I'm educating myself as much as possible
You're so kind, thank you!!!
This actually helped us. A lot of our littles (me included) struggle wif thinking we’re bad. And dis helped us understand why our brain does what it do to help us. We not known we exist for more than 2 months and we not out of our bad situation yet but. Dis helped us. Thank you Mx Nin!
I'm 23 and recovering from CPTSD formed in childhood. I discovered this channel when Chloe first starting making videos. I feel like my healing journey has grown and transformed in parallel to this channel, now the beautiful and amazing Nin is the host. And thanks to this channel I can say I'm also a different person from when I started my healing journey and first started watching your videos. We've all grown so much, thanks for everything
5:01 "... or play dead."
*ad about immune-system-boosting supplement starts playing*
thanks, ad, that actually lightened the mood a bit! 😂
You have such a gift of teaching and empathy. I am blown away by your videos everytime, but this one made me cry, it touched deep places inside me that i didnt even realize were hurting. Thank you
this is SO enlightening and validating! i feel like i've learned so much about trauma and psychology in the last few years but of course theres always something more to learn and you always have something to offer me that's life changing in its accessibility and applicability to my life. i have so much love for you all and your passion for sharing such important information!!!!!!
I was diagnosed with PTSD about a year ago and this video taught me SO much more than any other resources. I’m gonna show this to many of my close friends in order to properly explain to them what it means to have PTSD. Thank you so much for making this video! So enlightening!
Can I just say that I love how they do their research and dont just go on what they've go thru. Inclusive
thank you for this. my best friend has been emotionally/verbally abused by her father and you gave me the words i need to tell her. watching her grow up flinching every time someone yelled, immediately claiming everything that went wrong as her fault... i didn't understand it for so many years and after i figured it out... my heart breaks for her every time she comes to school with That look in her eyes... thank you
Thank you so much, Nin. When you said "it was never your fault" that really meant a lot to me
bpd is also a form of c-ptsd, and surprisingly has a lot in common with did/osdd, for anyone who may be curious. it's formed through repeated trauma and one of the most common causes is narcissistic parenting.
I really love your channel, you helped me to accept my alters.
I wish you the best in life, love you ❤️
Nin. Thank you so much. This video hit very close to home as someone with PTSD. Sadly for me this was the first time since my childhood trauma (I am now 23) that I heard anybody say it wasn't my fault. Thank you again. You and everyone in the dissociaDID system give me hope.
I thought I'd be okay watching this but at around 8:30 I just started crying and im still crying. But I love the video and your amazing content, keep it up love.
Bro... I am... this made me cry. Like, I had a pretty chill childhood, but you guys are doing such a great job to let everyone know that they are okay. And that they are worthy
Note to self: DONT WATCH THIS VIDEO WHEN YOURE OFF YOUR MEDS