Several things happen after you are dumped after a long relationship . In order : 1. Your heart is broken 2. You eventually go no contact 3. Your ex tries to reach out 4. By the time they want you back or enough time, simply goes by, you no longer care, nor do you want them back Bonus - You actually heal and get stronger each day
It’s basically worse on the dumper as I’ve come back to her to late but I’ve had my reasons & really think you always build it better second time round
I get that, but “moving on” is not just a simple decision for most people since they are dealing with grief over the breaking of the relationship. Kind of like telling a sick person the advice of “Just get well.” It’s not that simple. It takes time and other factors and isn’t simply a pivot.
Good job ur not coach lee then . And if thats what u think about ur ex then fine. But people like myself who dont want to move on really dont need to see ur negative comment
@@shandy41709 I speak from my personal experience. Every time I have been in a relationship with a girl who has broken up with me, they have left for another guy and never made an effort to get back together. All they have done is try to get at me. This is just my opinion, but you should do what you feel is right for you.
Why does people think "moved on" is equal to "we will will never have a relationship again"? Even if you moved on you can find your way back to each other
My childhood female friend broke up with my male childhood friend and after 3 years they are back together and they love each other so much more deeply. The question is, in the meantime as they both go through new partners are you able to put that aside and reconcile?
Speaking from experience , when you really move on. You wont even need to see this video , i clicked out 30 seconds into it altough i love the coach. F them , get another one for real
I've been in no contact for 2 years and she is still contacting me every couple of weeks.She decided to leave a 28 year marriage after establishing another relationship before leaving.The last time I saw her I told her this will be the last time we speak. So far I've gone 2 years with out returning her calls and texts.
Good for you for having self love! Once someone monkey branches that’s worse then cheating! Think of the thousands of lies it took for her to set her betrayal in motion! You can never take some one back who cheats because cheating is a dysfunction!
I’m preferring the attitude of “moving forward”, suggests the door might still be open. It also doesn’t need to mean you’ve moved on with another person.
I celebrate 90 days of hard no contact today. I say celebrate because I'm proud of the strength and resilience I have shown. I have a feeling she is ready to contact me any moment but is hesitating because of fear of rejection. I still love her, and I forgive her with all my heart for the hurt she has caused to me and also ask for forgiveness for the hurt I caused to her. In the end love is what we all live for, love conquers all. Even if nothing happens, I'm thankful for the experience and I've only gained from it. Love, strength and happiness!
Hey coach lee I'm here just to thank you for taking me out of dark days of my life, my ex never came back but you held my hand during rough days...I'm grateful to you. It took a while and I used to watch your videos for months. It took around 8 months for me to get over the pain and it is because I used your no contact rule.
Also listen to Lucia..The Art of Love. She subscribed to this. If they really love you and want you back ..they will ask you back. If they don't, they won't. Make them miss you and show them you have worth by staying silent. They left you remember? They need to earn you back. Make them think you moved on. Actually try to move on. If you can move on without them, they will feel that pain that you feel....finally!!
Really wouldn't listen too intently to her. My friend did coaching with her and almost lost the chance of getting his girlfriend back when she started texting him. He did the no response if not a significant thing, and she almost gave up. She by chance, saw me out and asked me if he moved on because he ignored her bids to chat. I told her to try one more time and told him to cut the BS. One size dont fit all.
@@defiantenergy I understand what you are saying. However responding to breadcrumbs made my ex fade away from me. She used to not go 5 days without contacting me. Then she could stand a month or more. Every time I responded back she wasn't really serious about getting back together. She broke up with me. She needs to ask me back and I need to think about it. Every time I responded it tells her that I'm still here waiting for her. So she needs to feel pain. The person that broke up with you needs to feel the same pain you felt. If they really think they want to be with you for life, nothing will stop them from trying to get you back. Now if your partner is a secure relationship type, responding to breadcrumbs might work. My girl is an extreme avoidant. I told her let's live together and she said no. I said you get all of me for life...or none of me. It's her choice. Do you want to be with someone who is not 100% sure and may leave you again? They need to feel the panic that they left the person they want to be with forever. Only anxiety of a potential loss will bring them back. Responding to breadcrumbs o ly gives them comfort and they will fade away....as even coach Lee talked about in other videos. Make them panic and miss you!!
@@baggergurl16 Yes, she is more spot on. You have to make your ex miss you....feel the loss. If they don't feel the loss, then they will never want you back all the way, unless they are secure attachment type and know what's going on in their head. Most ppl don't. They need too lose you completely and ask for you back or beg you. Anything less than that will not work.
Thank you coach Lee for all the help you gave me during the no contact period, I found peace while watching your videos and got motivated to stay in no contact, after 3 month my ex reached out( "how are you") and we got back together after a while, she even was mad because "I could reach out before" while at the beginning she said to never write her again,( I made all the mistakes like begging etc and she used her friend to say to leave her alone), she noticed I've improved and got better, now I'm happy and hope this won't happen again.. Thank you again😍
Whether your relationship was 6 months, 2 years, 6 years or 20 years, getting into another relationship after just 2 months is getting into a rebound relationship in anyone's language.
I wish I saw this a week ago. Last week I posted a photo of me on a date. My ex hasn't liked any posts of mine in almost a year (been broken up for 5 months). As soon as I posted the date photo she liked it. Then she texted all happy about it asking who it was. I've been friends with her the last 2-3 months during which she told me she was talking with a married man. Im helping her move her stuff out of my apartment and telling her I can't continue to be friends because I feel we are both so fake when we hang out. Im telling her that clearly she has been reaching out to me non stop since the breakup and there is a reason. Either way after im done moving her stuff, while im at her new apartment, I'm going to tell her I am gone from her life completely and to reach out only when she is ready to recognize what she lost and try to establish something more. I know I deserve more than fake friendships and high school games.
@@FoxSleepingthat doesn't even make sense because there's ALWAYS women in the comment sections talking about their ex not contacting them and how it makes them feel sad and in despair. Have you ever just maybe thought the woman in your life just doesn't want anything to do you specifically abd you're just projecting your own circumstances onto everyone else as a way to cope with being rejected
@@FoxSleeping a woman who wants you will put work in to fight for a relationship she wants too. If she dumps you, then is disappointed that you didn’t chase and try convince her than that is manipulation, she’s disappointed you respected the breakup and gave the space she wanted… that is unfair and backwards. My ex said she knows i’d do anything to make the relationship work moving forward, but she didn’t have the will to try herself. So she gets NC and i’ll need to see some effort or interest from her, otherwise it won’t work - if she’s sitting in silence expecting me to lower my value and sacrifice my self-respect by chasing her after she cut me out, than she’s not the women I thought she was.
I’m about 5 months into no contact. Seems like he’s happy with another woman after completly ghosting me. As time has gone on, it has become easier. Time has made me realize I deserved a better partner and put up with too much.
I feel where you are coming from. It actually looks like both of our relationships ended around the same time . I didn’t go no contact until around 3 months after my breakup though. It’s really good to hear that someone else put a stop to the disrespect as well. You are right though , it does get easier in time , but that’s the whole thing , people have to give it time , and that includes not jumping into another relationship right away or too soon. Anyway , I just wanted to congratulate you for overcoming something that I know is a hard process.
I started watching your videos when I was hurting. I was the dumpee. I'm not hurting anymore. If there's one thing I've learned don't pretend to move on. Do move on and focus on yourself. And be the best version of your self 9 months since breakup I'm ok either way. But I'm enjoying my freedom and not even looking for a partner 🙂
Hi Coach Lee, Your videos helped me cope up and muster up the courage to get up everyday to work, keep myself busy, and find or learn new things that are not usually what I'm doing. I tried begging, pleading, and chasing because I thought that it would work but I was wrong. My ex of 10 years broke up with me a month ago, it's still crushing me. but seeing your videos made me realize my worth. Thank you.
We spoke I asked them to meet up and got rejected. They told me to Move on. If they tell you that its basically no point trust me dont hang on. In response I said I'll move on. Trust that it's over.
@@FoxSleeping Moving on is the only consequence that I had. The conversation led to a dead end. She was putting on a show on fb to make me jealous. What else could I do?
@Evermore2017 you're essentially suggesting obsessive stalker behavior. When someone says they're done and wants to be left alone, you should respect that and listen to them. People like you end up with restraining orders and cuffed by cops
Coach Lee i found you a few years ago, the thing is, by these video's i became and still become a better person. I understand more, i "hate" less. And when i say hate i found out so many times hate is against yourself. Its deep inside ya and you can think others are make the conflict deep inside you but no. Its your mirror. I give others space and especially myself. Work on yourself people❤ Don't date for just dating. Take the grieve and see what it tells you.... All the love from Amsterdam Coach Lee. You are amazing 🌱 i truly meen it 💚
Today my ex picked up her stuff from my house. We’ve been broken up for nearly two months after a 3 year relationship. We had a 2 minute chat for a bit at my front door. She done her makeup and hair just the way I use to like it however I didn’t compliment or anything just kept it a how things, how work, how your family type of thing. I could tell she was holding back tears and she said I can feel it starting to rain (It wasn’t) and then headed back to her friend’s car. 5 minutes later I head out to go for a meal and I see she is crying in the passenger seat of her friends car at the end of my alleyway and then she saw me put on sun glasses hiding from me and they drove off.
It’s been three months. She broke up with me over text and left my shit in her garage for me to pick up when I got back. Honestly, I’m still pissed off about the way she decided to end it. Not a word yet - but she stalks tf out of my social media. She’s not always avoidant but I’ve got other women who want to talk to me. She lost the privilege of keeping me around. I just focused on myself, some nights fuckin sucked. I loved that woman HARD. Oh well, it’s time to move tf on. Waiting is a fools game.
My ex is a fearful avoidant and no contact never worked but I’ve accepted it was for the best. It wasn’t going to be a healthy long term relationship until she realized her attachment style and tried to do the work with me.
Unbeknownst to me, someone told him I had a boyfriend (not true). Probably prevented him from reaching out, but also perhaps drove home the idea that I *could* move on and he'd lost me. And if he'd lost me, he'd move on.
...yep, that is veryb true, even if it is after the fact, after some sort of relationship breakdown. I think for a lot of people it will help them to avoid certain types of people next time, as long as they do the work prior.
The moral of the story is don't play games. No contact isn't playing games ...it's taking control of your life but lying and spreading stories to try to manipulate someone back to you isn't pure in energy and almost never results in a good outcome. Just stay no contact and work on yourself. They don't need to know if you've moved on but they can see that you're doing well which might give you the results you desire.
@@FoxSleeping Actually, Jeff Bezos buffed up, he distanced himself from the day to day decisions of Amazon and has now appeared to show a public commitment to Laura Sanchez, that I don't remember being aware of, with the wife who left him. I'm not pointing this out to make you wrong; but I'm noticing that every person can benefit from personally investing their time in a life upgrade. If someone stepped back from what you had, particularly in an ugly way - through violations, betrayal and such - then part of that personal upgrade could be to delve into why you might actually want someone like that back. Just sayin'... In any case, "working on yourself" means different things specifically; to each individual. And unfortunately; it doesn't play out in real life like reminding someone to sleep - nor is it hurling blame, in my book. I read it more as a reminder to get some control back in one's life. After all, if someone has moved back, away from you; you're static and their motion is dynamic. They have the control. To get your power back, you have to also go back into motion. That way, when they come back around; you won't be standing in the same place. Now they'll have to reach for you.
Jeff Bezos may not need to work on himself when it comes to finances or fame but there are plenty of rich famous people that can improve themselves a lot in other areas. Bezos can start by choosing a much better partner.
anyone else get mesmerized by how handsome couch lee is that they forget about their Ex for the moment? Just me? Lol.. Guess I'm not as hurt as I thought Hahah.. no in all seriousness, couch lee has helped me a lot in making better decisions. I was suck on my Ex, it been almost 2 years since the break up. I was the one who broke it off for emotional and verbal abuse. It took me a long time to truly accept that I didn't deserve that & don't want that old life again. It's was hard in the beginning especially co-parenting but now that we see less of each other for pickup/drop off - its really helped a lot. Its another form of no contact that is helping me move on.
Thank you for the compliment and I’m glad I could help in some way. If you two have kids together I hope there could be a future for you since you have a family together. I’m available for a private session at myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/
It isn't just you! Lol he is attractive for sure. Nice distraction while listening to sound advice. It's been 2 years since my relationship, he reaches out about every 6 months and while I miss him horribly, I'm afraid to even respond to him. I can't take anymore pain. I've not dated and still no interest. I'm learning to be happy alone. 😊
I do agree with most of what @CoachLee says however I don’t believe in responding to an ex when they reach out, particularly with breadcrumbs as in the majority of cases they’re just looking to keep you as a fallback options or to receive your validation. I’m currently in no contact and have pretty much moved on and am dating someone else now. I do still miss my ex though consciously realise that she’s not relationship ready or done the work to heal her fearful avoidant attachment style. She’s not apologised for what she did wrong or made any effort to genuinely reconcile (and I don’t expect her to because she’s incapable of doing so) so I’m moving on with my life. My advice - only respond when/if they reach out with a genuine and meaningful message where they express regret and a desire to reconnect. DO NOT respond ever to breadcrumbs
I agree Coach Lee should be more clear when he talks about an ex reaching out and explain that breadcrumbs are not reach outs. Sometimes its hard to tell if its a breadcrumb or not too for me. I only get the confirmation it was a breadcrumb after the message when he doesn’t contact me again for another week or so, and another way to tell whether its a breadcrumb or not as you mentioned, is if your ex is apologizing and expressing regret and a want to reconcile. If not its breadcrumbs…
Dude, I could not have said it better myself. I was in the exact same situation and I really do believe that dealing with fearful avoidance or dismissive avoidance is probably one of the hardest relationships with a female. They really do have so much to work on and they sabotage relationships so well that it is almost impossible to have a healthy relationship with them if they cannot see and work on their problems. I also find them to be somewhat cowardly and very pain avoidant, and to be honest most of us would love that in our lives. But sometimes when you screw up really bad you need to just have the courage to say sorry and genuinely tell that person that you miss them and love them. Coach Lee has said many times not to fall for bread crumbs and they do that a lot. He has also said that some relationships were the person has personality disorders of some sort, or strong indicators of them, you should also probably not go back to unless that person has shown genuine change. You will of course have to watch a lot of his videos to see that it is probably best that most people pay for a coaching session if they can. Otherwise you have to watch a lot of videos to get to that point.
5 months later after I walked away I found out he moved on back to his ex. Hurts but guess what I’m working on me and I can’t wait for the day I don’t care at all. I’m def putting in the work.
Hi Coach. My girlfriend broke up with me a little over 2 weeks ago. i went no contact immediatly after taking care of some practical stuff (moving my stuff out and some finances). The last time I saw her, I asked her to not text me because every message I got from her after the breakup broke my heart. She is a strong and respectful person and said she still cares about me. But now I'm afraid she might resist the temptations to reach back out because she wants to respect my request... Also, thanks for the videos, Lee. They really help to put things in perspective. I'm sure I will heal in time, whatever happens, but shit man I just want to talk to her again and show her I am handling my addictions and becoming a better person for my own sake..
Get a coach or counselor -- Someone you pay to be on your side, who has the skill and capability to support you in this phase. At Week 2 you are still in the most painful stage. Do whatever you can to not pay attention to her on social media, and don't post anything she might see. Don't talk to mutual friends. All that will just make you crazy and keep you stuck. You will start to feel better in some number of weeks or months. The more you accept the grieving process, the more quickly and effectively you will move through it. Best wishes.
I placed a date night picture on IG. The next day, she made a TikTok video about her being seeing someone else. I know she is already seeing someone new. So why should I be the one waiting. If it's meant to be, we will reconcile at some other point in our lives. For now, I'm moving on.
Being at the 7th month point, I'm glad I didn't wait to invest in personal growth to offset the pain. I made sure that I had something to look forward to every day - even when I could have used my friend's contact the most. And that helped, for me. I'm now at a stage where the first feeler was offered for coffee a few weeks ago, but I wasn't going to be in town. The next time I stated that I would be, the offer wasn't renewed. And now, I've realized that my friend started tracking my phone about a month ago. I tried to turn off the tracker but the notification appeared again, under another ISP. So I'm figuring, whatever - we have a few more rounds to go. I still miss my friend's input about the events in my life; but I've invested in strengthening my other social support systems. So now I'm re-examining my options.
He said To Me " You want me to choose between My family And You" I said " I never want That that, I like Your Children" After I broke off with him I realized He was talking about his ex-wife
I'm giving up on him and the only thing I wanted from him is an decent answer, why he ghosted me if we had the opportunity to finish things a better way. He knows how and where to find me. So, people. We must keep hope, but also remember they dumped me with no remorse. I admit my mistakes, but he also made mistakes. This doesn't eliminate my responsibility, but it's not all my fault. I respect him, but the hole he made to my heart I will never forget.
lol my ex gf thought i was with someone else just cuz i didnt chase her after she dumped me and reached out only to just say "Oh i forgive u for moving on i forgive u for moving on to another person" lol i havent dated anybody shes immature for reaching out just to say that shit to me what was the point!? i've been single since may!
I have been using NC to ruminate and get it through my head and heart that I was living in a fantasy with the dumper and the truth was, it wasn't a great relationship. I'm doing great and trying to get my stuff back but HE is not answering my request to get my stuff back. Lack of responsiveness is another reason it's easier for me to put him in the rearview mirror.
I wish I had never called her. I don’t know that it would have made any difference at all, but I feel like it did more harm than good. I wish I could just move on. I wish I was brave enough to.
If they left you for someone else they didn’t love you in a way you deserve. If you take them back they WILL cheat or leave you again because that is how they deal with conflict or they’re disordered. Move on!
He told me that he’s processed his feelings, he’s told me that he’s moved on, but he keeps messaging me and calling me. 🤦🏻♀️ I feel like he’s playing games
Lost my wife 10 month ago. Tried no contact but without success. In my opinion all hope is gone now, i am thinking she doesn’t find a way back to me (and our daughters) and will not, because she simply doesn’t know what she wants - me and her family or her ridiculous rebound relationship. She said to my daughter she is missing our family and her life is a misery now. Good to know. But she still doesn’t come back. Nonetheless she is still very curious about what is happening in our family, about my relationship status and other things. Don’t know what to do now…. But your videos helped me a lot to calm down, feeling hope and move on. Greetings from Germany.
I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. My situation is kind of the same. Unfortunately I have no hope now and am doing what I can to mine on with little contact. It’s been 20 months.
In my experience, the no contact is not to be used as a tool to get anyone back. It should be used as a tool to work on yourself and find your way back to happiness. You have to assume that she knows what she wants. Either she is miserable but still chose that over being in a relationship with you for whatever reason and handles that with a rebound….or she wants you to fix her misery for her. Maybe only by confirming her. Either way, she is an adult and has to deal with her own situation in the same way she left you to deal with your situation. You can’t help her to make a decision that you want her to make. If she wants you to try again she has to show that to you, not involve the children which is very unrespectful to the children and might affect them negatively. In the end you have to respect her decision to leave. It might hurt unbearably but that is what a man does. All this might sound harsh and hit hard, but just give it a thought at least. This might even give her a feeling that she is on the clock to make a decision herself. I know it’s extremely difficult.
What if they contact u after a yr. She asks how your doing. U say fine. Then asks how your doing doing with the b/u. Your shocked they asked that after a yr. U say, I'm fine. Then very condescending they say, See, i knew u'd b OK. Talk about ripping your guts out. Then like 4yrs later they comeback but convenience is the main reason. Plus u saw them a yr earlier & nothing had changed. They embarrass u in front of friends. They take a special memory away and use their partner to trump u. What do u do then?
If you’re rejected , go no contact not for ex but for you to heal from that breakup. Don’t necessarily date anyone just make friends heal properly get over the break up , trust me this gives you the power to decide if you want them back or not , in most cases you might not want them back . In summary no contact is for you to detect emotions from this person
I had to move on and date other women in order to stop contacting her. I could not stop reaching out. No contact wasn’t happening and it was my fault. Once I moved on and started seeing other women I finally left her alone and within days she was begging me back.
Haha I’ve tried these tips before and it does work! I just usually slip back into emotional though. But after watching ur other videos similar on this, I write taken on my bio and I even said I’m going to someone’s house with a dry bye like idc. I’m gonna go to someone’s house not lying but he’s prob not gonna think it’s a friends and someone guy. Well! I’ll be back with results 👍
Yeah i took him back after he left me for another gurl..and he told me he was gonna do better but I didn't see it ..its like he got to comfortable and i felt like i was taken for granted..so i left him again and he just walked away and didn't care to put effort or fix it.he just block me..its been five days but im trying to stay strong and move on but apart of me still wants him back or aleast hear from him
If what you wanted was more effort from his end, walkingg away was the wrong move. Don’t end things unless you truly feel better off w out them, not to get them to increase effort and pursuit. If you want him in your life again, you have to be the one to pursue him because you were the most recent dumper.
Ive been 3 months NC after breaking up for the second time with this person. I’m thinking after the 5-6 months and I don’t hear from them, its time to delete them from social media and move on, is that ok?
I made the Mistake and Told him I’m trying to move on given he made the decision for us not to be together and if he did t have anything important to say than I didn’t want to hear from him… He was sending me breascrumbs and I didn’t think it was fair. He texted back ok won’t happen again…. And it’s been a month since I’ve heard from him. Did I mess up???
Broken up a month 35 days ago. I was judged because of my mistakes. Did everything but made the situation worse coz of her family misunderstanding. She is still angry at me and Cried to me on the phone call 2 days ago and told me not to contact her. I got a chance to apologise for my mistakes the relationship was very good, but in the last couple of months, I pulled away a bit coz of my personal family matters and was more focused on the gym. I want her back, But I am sure she will come back as I have done the damage in the relationship.
After a certain time period (6 months usually), the only reason someone comes back is because they failed to replace you with someone better. They don’t really want you that much, they just don’t want to be alone. Don’t fall for the stories saying otherwise.
I reached out to my ex after 58 days NC to apologize and validate my exs feelings for microcheating in our relationship. She said she's moving on and not coning back to the relationship. Its been three and a half months since we broke up. I dont think the love of my life is coming back . . .
this some what happened to me but neither of us cheated but i apologize and asked if he moved on but he just moved on from the past like our relationship wasn’t there
I put some questions to myself 1. Did he really loved me? Coz people who love don't leave. 2. If I get him back with whatever means, will it be the same? Because a person once left me can leave me again. At least now I'm in a position to lookafter my future. 3. Do I deserve this gut wrenching suffering? Every second was painful. I went into depression, got hyperthyroidism, my hair started thinning after breakup. 4. He has moved on in his life. Better I move on too. So that if we ever meet again, I shouldn't be looking overaged and failed person that will convince him, that he did a right thing by breaking up with me. It was not easy, but I did it anyway. If there is a boy for me, destiny will do magic, until then I'm focused on my well being.
She DM’d me 2 weeks after the breakup saying she still has a hammer that I left at her place lol. I answered a few days later telling her to keep it. Then she asked “how am I doing?”. I just told her I’m good, and about to go play basketball. She liked the message then poof. That was 2 weeks ago now. Like what was the point of that?
My x left me three times . All three i did no contact when they left. This is the 4th dump . Im looking at all these videos to make some sense as to what's going on. I don't want this person anymore. I feel like a bandaid and nothing more.
What if an ex reaches out after 3 months, asking to meet up and come over to your house, saying that even though our relationship is over, we never had a chance to properly say goodbye? And they don’t want to never speak to you again? That’s what happened to me.
I’d say this is your opportunity to wow them with You 2.0! Be cool, pull back a bit, and match - minus a bit - their actions. This may well be them attempting reconnection under the guise of a “visit.”
@@mattdawson6627 yeah I think you’re right - I hope I didn’t fudge it up. I was so confused and said that if this meetup is for ‘closure’ I don’t think it’s a good idea because it might open up wounds that are healing. But left it by saying I’ve grown to realize over the past few months how much they meant to me, and if they’re ever open to starting again, I’d love to have that conversation. There’s been no response since. And I’ve now gone back to no contact.
@@And-jh9hg Try not to overthink it… That’s what we’re all doing, and what we try to “crystal ball” right now is heavily tinged with self doubt, fear, and confusion. Be gentle with yourself, be positive, and remember that YOU are a catch! If their intentions were what you’d hoped, they’ll reach out again. DON’T fault or punish yourself for words you use in grief. What you said was VERY strong - you set a boundary that you aren’t going to be hurt MORE by essentially “another dumping.” Trust in YOURSELF. Be confident in YOURSELF - you know what you bring to the table! No matter how much you love this person and want them back, remember THEY told YOU you “weren’t enough” (NOT TRUE, by the way!!); show them you’re MORE than enough - DARE them to try and find someone better! YOU are the prize!! If they don’t recognise that, they lose YOU, and they WILL regret it for the rest of their lives!! All while YOU find someone who WILL recognise your value! YOU ARE THE PRIZE!!!
My ex told me three weeks ago that I’m a good guy but she doesn’t feel we can recover from disrespecting each other. Fast forward three weeks later and she’s saying she wants to start back talking and miss goofing around with me. Is this a sign of breadcrumbing?
It’s hard to say 100%, so be cautious because you don’t want to accidently ruin your odds. It is possible that in the breakup she was focused on the negatives, but the space she got after reminded her of the positives, creating motive to reconnect. If I were you, I’d respond to her when she reaches out but don’t initiate anything at least at first. Be causal and polite but don’t show coldness or excitement about getting back together. Focus on having a good time w each other rather than relationship issues and see where things go. If you want to get back together, she has to be the one to imitate that conversation because she was the one who walked away
Could you make a serie about 'how to date?' some insight about the dating in general and/or whether and how to be open about it. I've met a really golden girl 3 months after a breakup. We were talking and talking, and she looks interested in me. We haven't been on a date yet, and I would like to go on a date with her. If she accepts, I would love to know what to actually assess, how to further attract her without turning it into a chasing lol. You know, the emergency dating kit and/or savour vivre (not talking about how to handle a knife of course)
Can you fix it if you said that you moved on? I waited for ten months of no contact and then I reached out to him. Then I said that and I found him back in the apps.
My ex reached out a little over a year ago after she ended it. Her life was falling apart. Her friend was passing and she felt I needed to know. Took me 24 hours. I finally responded. Also think she was looking back. Noticed that I had started removing pictures of her and I on social media..
What you have failed to mention to your audience in this situation is that while your woman has you on the back burner, she is getting throttled by likely more than one person. With that statistical fact, you need to decide if you can live with that.
We were social media friends after the break up and he came back to me last year but he doesn’t want a relationship just friendship right now. I have too many feelings and I noticed that he watches my stories but doesn’t reach out. It’s always me texting to see how he’s doing. On my last text to him, he left me on read. I deactivated my social media - didn’t delete him and I even told him this to be kind. Idk how this will pan out as I have no intention to get back on due to alot of things going on in my life right now. Will this affect our relationship such as worsen it or will it give him the mystery factor? I’m honestly doing this for me - deactivation bc I have too many triggers including him watching my stories but never reaching out. Friendship isn’t what I want esp if he’s seeing other ppl. I went back into NC (it was hard bc i liked that he watched my stories, but i also see how that’s not enough for me)
Coach Lee, I need your advice. Your videos worked wonders for me when my ex from 3 years ago came crawling back twice before, and your advice helped me get through that difficult breakup. I want to express my massive thanks. But now, I'm in a different situation. The man I've been dating for 2 years, who is now my ex, broke up with me 4 days ago. We still deeply love each other, but due to relationship issues and constant arguments, it damaged him, leading to the end of our relationship. However, he said he didn’t want to lose me, so we both agreed to stay friends. We still call each other by our pet names and even tell each other we love each other. We both plan to remain single and get back together in the future, maybe in a few months; that was our goal. However, this "friends" thing is really difficult for me. I told him I'll need some time and space, perhaps a month or two, to heal before I can be just friends with him. He said he couldn’t stand being apart from me for that long and wanted us to keep in touch occasionally to stay updated on each other's lives. What should I do? Do I still need to apply the no-contact rule even if he texts me?
@@1968chooch Yes, that was our case. We both decided to remain friends as both of us couldn’t completely let go of each other. We were each other’s first love. He told me he didn’t want to lose me, but it's just that right now, he couldn’t maintain a relationship because he’s too damaged and not in a good place mentally. He also doesn’t plan to tell his mother that we've broken up because his mother likes buying me gifts. He said he wants her to continue buying me stuff so when we get back together, he could give it to me personally
@@li5043 no. Do not let him ever come back. The trash took itself out. Do not let it back in. It’s a cycle of abuse. Lovebomb devalue discard. You’ve been discarded. If you let him back the cycle will just continue. Find someone who is committed to you not someone who will just leave you over and over again
My ex gf left me a year ago. She came back in december. Since then I have been dating both her and another girl. I wasn’t sure what to do. I truly love my ex and wanted to pursue thibgs with her and break it off with the other girl, but my ex found out about her. My ex then kicked me out of her place and told me she didn’t want to see me again. She doesn’t believe it was only a casual relationship. What do I do to get my point across to her that I love her and only her?
My covert narky ex gf could care less. Discarded me 5mos ago for a guy she monkeybranched to ending 8.5 yrs together. Shes found her "1 true love"😂 & im just a depleting dusty a--. Ive been strict zero dark :30 No Contact 4.5 mos & will stay that way less she outreaches. In meantime gonna heal, work self, & level up as Coach Lee says to do am best version of self IF she does present later or i find a woman 10x better 😊
i do not think you should even consider her coming back, she left a 8.5 year long relationship once, you cannot trust her to be with you when you need her, find a better person
@@ritikgupta7781 that makes sense. Ive heard that a lot. I wasnt perfect & made mistakes also in relationship. Im at fault for SOME things but i never bailed on her & always wanted communicate. What she did was so diabolical & planned.
I think I'm the rebound for my ex 😓. Now we're in no contact. Should I just forget her and move on, or do I still have a chance? Ps: She's my sister-in-law's cousin, which is how we met. We will run into each other in December.
She left me at the beginning of April. In the first time I was begging and pleading because I didn’t know better. Since 8 weeks I am in NC and now she contacted my mother to ask how I‘m doing. I my opinion she is just doing it, to get sure that I am over it, so she can go on. It is just to calm down her guilty conscience. What do you guys think ?
Sounds like she wants that dopamine hit by knowing youre pine away missing & wait for her cause before your NC you WERE chasing and it felt comfy for her. Now its not. Stay NC. Go zero dark:30 on any social media for a while (months).
....you can never really know and depends a lot on the type of personality and attachment style they are. I think some people are just lost and don't know what they want and how to get it. It's very hard to be with someone like that so as they suggest in all these videos, you've just got to make yourself better, all the mnore so so you don't attract someone like this again.
After a few weeks we talked, and i said "It's okay, no hard feelings on my end 🙂 Calling it off was completely fair, and it seems like it was the best option for us both in the end." Was this a mistake?
So...we lived together..went on a weekend away to 1 of my friends and I was dumped, she called her son to collect her and take her home. I begged her not to leave, but after she did I went into NC and stayed at my friends house, its only been a few days but Im sure shes going to contact me about me having to fetch my stuff/furniture etc which is not exactly a small interation. I dont want to see her and I dont want to go to the house either because I know I will end up begging or say something wrong. How do I respond to that when it comes? What to do here?
There's a contradiction here. You suggest the no contact strategy to get an ex back. However, no contact may lead your ex to think you moved on, which according to this video you say has 65% chance of ending up in your ex moving on too. Hence, no contact leads to not getting your ex back?
My ex-girlfriend unfriended me on Facebook this week randomly. But she was watching like all my stories. I unfollowed her but wasn’t going to remove her. Is it because she was missing me a lot? Can I still get her back?
same thing just happened to me, she unfriend me after breaking up with me out of the blue!! it was perfect the boom blind sides, shes been watching my stories already
I caught my wife cheating with another man 3 weeks ago. When I confronted her she said cares for me a lot but she doesn't love me anymore. Then she ran off to live with him. I have been in contact with her for the 3 weeks she's been gone. She said she cries about me she misses me but she won't come back. Do you guys think I should give time?
Can someone tell me what they think of my situation? My ex reached out 3 times and I was following no contact really well for the past few months. The first two times he texted me, it was casual and short but he did seem interested in my life since I became a mystery like coach Lee mentions. However, last week he asked to call me. On the phone call he mentioned he was just wanted to check on me, etc and we were catching up. When I asked if he wanted to hangout (coach Lees advice if it goes well) he said he wouldn’t mind hanging out but doesn’t see me long-term. I got offended and upset by that and unfortunately, I reacted in the wrong way. I said it’s better that we don’t talk then if you see me as a friend because I don’t see you as just a friend. Long story short, I messed up. Do you think there is any hope for us now?
I don’t think you necessarily messed anything up. As long as you kept your cool in your response. Remember, they often reach out testing the waters, and that initial contact is probably not gonna go right back to trying a relationship again. It seems you let him know what you want - and setting a boundary is a good thing, cause he can’t just have you as a friend. They can’t just have us for their benefit to make the breakup easier for them. So are you going back into no contact? My ex reached out after 3 months asking to meet up and I said yes at first…but when they followed up days later to set a date, the text said that even though the relationship is over, we never had a chance to properly say goodbye and he doesn’t want to never speak to me again. That put a weird taste in my mouth and I just said I don’t think meeting for ‘closure’ is a good idea as it might open up wounds that are healing. But if theyre ever open to starting again, I’d love to have that conversation. No response back. It hurts but I know no contact is the way to go. That’s what I’d suggest for you too. Remember, we set a boundary, and that boundary is attractive.
Yes I’m back in no contact now. Part of me is glad that I set a boundary but I guess I’m just afraid he will feel like he can’t talk to me or reach out now since I said it’s better if we don’t talk. I don’t think I sounded mad but maybe kind of annoyed/hurt in my tone. I think Coach Lee said we should remain friendly so they will feel they can keep reaching out? Even if they aren’t 100% sure yet 😢
@@beedee731 its ok we’re humans we have feelings don’t be too harsh on yourself you’re doing good just go back in NC and do your thing if he truly loves you and if you are meant to be he will come back
You didn't mess up. You made it known how you feel and the other person told you how they feel and it looks like both of you want different things in life and that is your answer. You need to move on from that person.
@@sloanmagnum5009 Yeah I understand that, I’m just not sure why he wanted to reach out 3 times months after he dumped me? And why call me too? It’s all confusing :/
I’ve been in no contact for about 3 weeks and I was on instagram looking through people’s stories and I accidentally viewed my exs story. I’m hoping that it’s not a big deal
Coach Lee I was following another youtube coach and he said you need to do No Contact for 30 days. What do you think about this number? To me it seems way to short, but he insists on it and will mention it in every video of his. Especially when you are the one that was dumped, I think 30 days of no contact is not even close to being enough and I thought 3 months would be better before the dumpee reaches out. I know ideally the dumper should reach out, but yeah they might never do. Also my ex waited exactly 40 days before deleting me from her contact list. I could still see her picture, but 40 days later not anymore. What do you think about this?
With all the variables in relationships nobody can give a definitive time of 30 days for your unique situation. It could be less or it could be more...
May be in 30 days she is on the time of first reconsideration but it is absolutely impossible you have outgrown her in that short period of time. The moment you contact her she will see the same flaws almost immediately.
i told her I'm not going to take you back next time you come back because she left me for the second time and we had a very good relationship she said she's not but last week she seen my massage but haven't texted me and she post sad posts on instagram about how she misses what we had and all the bs what are the odds she's coming back?because i really regret saying ''im not going to take you back'' I'm in no contact for one month and a half now please help me coach lee.
He said he is not psychologically good and feels depressed and said if we should give it a break. He didn’t specifically called it a break up but it’s been 8 months now and we are on no contact. He broke no contact couple of times I definitely didn’t ignore him but also I put a distance and kept the conversation so casual. He also celebrated my birthday etc. I don’t text him, I dont call him. I even removed him from my social media ( for my own sanity) that was what he asked for. I am not sure if he gonna come back. But I have a feeling he will . I am really not sure. Coach Lee, if you see this comment, did I make the right thing? Will he forget about me? How will he react that I removed (not blocked) him from social media?
I am divorced recently.. my ex husband removed all of our photos together in all social media …. I am trying no contact to get him back… now should I also remove our posts together in social media? Please answer
Several things happen after you are dumped after a long relationship . In order :
1. Your heart is broken
2. You eventually go no contact
3. Your ex tries to reach out
4. By the time they want you back or enough time, simply goes by, you no longer care, nor do you want them back
Bonus - You actually heal and get stronger each day
It’s basically worse on the dumper as I’ve come back to her to late but I’ve had my reasons & really think you always build it better second time round
If they break up with you for no good reason, they have some serious issues that you obviously didn’t know about. Are you sure you want that back?
10000% true. Thats what happened to me. I don't even reply when she reaches out. So much stronger & better without her. Addition by subtraction
She doesn't want me back
Honestly, my advice would be to move on if you've broken up. If your ex truly cared, they would have made an effort to reconcile.
I get that, but “moving on” is not just a simple decision for most people since they are dealing with grief over the breaking of the relationship. Kind of like telling a sick person the advice of “Just get well.” It’s not that simple. It takes time and other factors and isn’t simply a pivot.
Good job ur not coach lee then . And if thats what u think about ur ex then fine. But people like myself who dont want to move on really dont need to see ur negative comment
@shandy41709 it's not a negative comment. It's a solution that many should do
@@shandy41709 I speak from my personal experience. Every time I have been in a relationship with a girl who has broken up with me, they have left for another guy and never made an effort to get back together. All they have done is try to get at me. This is just my opinion, but you should do what you feel is right for you.
@sloanmagnum5009 why SHOULD we . What Because u did ?
It took some time, but I healed. Keep your chin up, mouth shut, smile, ignore flying monkeys, and ease on down the road!!
Not everybody is familiar with "flying monkeys" and these narcissist linguistics. Try keeping it simple for people coming here and hurting
Why does people think "moved on" is equal to "we will will never have a relationship again"? Even if you moved on you can find your way back to each other
I think it's the same way to get an ex back and to move on. You go no contact and focus on yourself
Actually, it’s recommended that you do live the mourn of the past relationship even if you want them back.
My childhood female friend broke up with my male childhood friend and after 3 years they are back together and they love each other so much more deeply. The question is, in the meantime as they both go through new partners are you able to put that aside and reconcile?
Speaking from experience , when you really move on. You wont even need to see this video , i clicked out 30 seconds into it altough i love the coach. F them , get another one for real
I've been in no contact for 2 years and she is still contacting me every couple of weeks.She decided to leave a 28 year marriage after establishing another relationship before leaving.The last time I saw her I told her this will be the last time we speak. So far I've gone 2 years with out returning her calls and texts.
you're still counting the days. stop thinking about her.
@@asdfxcvbn746What kind of ignorant comment is that 😂?
You were married 28yrs? Did you officially get divorced? She messages you every few weeks? May I ask what is she saying?
Good for you for having self love! Once someone monkey branches that’s worse then cheating! Think of the thousands of lies it took for her to set her betrayal in motion! You can never take some one back who cheats because cheating is a dysfunction!
I’m preferring the attitude of “moving forward”, suggests the door might still be open. It also doesn’t need to mean you’ve moved on with another person.
Fact..
💯
She already did move on with another person so even the windows are closed 😂
“Moving forward “ describes it perfectly.
I celebrate 90 days of hard no contact today. I say celebrate because I'm proud of the strength and resilience I have shown. I have a feeling she is ready to contact me any moment but is hesitating because of fear of rejection. I still love her, and I forgive her with all my heart for the hurt she has caused to me and also ask for forgiveness for the hurt I caused to her. In the end love is what we all live for, love conquers all. Even if nothing happens, I'm thankful for the experience and I've only gained from it. Love, strength and happiness!
Please keep us posted when she does reach out. Wish you all the best! 🎉❤
@@lixiaoxuan8223 Can't wait to do that. ❤
Hey coach lee I'm here just to thank you for taking me out of dark days of my life, my ex never came back but you held my hand during rough days...I'm grateful to you. It took a while and I used to watch your videos for months. It took around 8 months for me to get over the pain and it is because I used your no contact rule.
Also listen to Lucia..The Art of Love. She subscribed to this. If they really love you and want you back ..they will ask you back. If they don't, they won't. Make them miss you and show them you have worth by staying silent. They left you remember? They need to earn you back. Make them think you moved on. Actually try to move on. If you can move on without them, they will feel that pain that you feel....finally!!
Really wouldn't listen too intently to her. My friend did coaching with her and almost lost the chance of getting his girlfriend back when she started texting him. He did the no response if not a significant thing, and she almost gave up. She by chance, saw me out and asked me if he moved on because he ignored her bids to chat. I told her to try one more time and told him to cut the BS. One size dont fit all.
@@defiantenergy I understand what you are saying. However responding to breadcrumbs made my ex fade away from me. She used to not go 5 days without contacting me. Then she could stand a month or more. Every time I responded back she wasn't really serious about getting back together. She broke up with me. She needs to ask me back and I need to think about it. Every time I responded it tells her that I'm still here waiting for her. So she needs to feel pain. The person that broke up with you needs to feel the same pain you felt. If they really think they want to be with you for life, nothing will stop them from trying to get you back. Now if your partner is a secure relationship type, responding to breadcrumbs might work. My girl is an extreme avoidant. I told her let's live together and she said no. I said you get all of me for life...or none of me. It's her choice. Do you want to be with someone who is not 100% sure and may leave you again? They need to feel the panic that they left the person they want to be with forever. Only anxiety of a potential loss will bring them back. Responding to breadcrumbs o ly gives them comfort and they will fade away....as even coach Lee talked about in other videos. Make them panic and miss you!!
Hey I listen to the Art of Love with Lucia too. Love her advice.
@@baggergurl16 Yes, she is more spot on. You have to make your ex miss you....feel the loss. If they don't feel the loss, then they will never want you back all the way, unless they are secure attachment type and know what's going on in their head. Most ppl don't. They need too lose you completely and ask for you back or beg you. Anything less than that will not work.
@@defiantenergy Same, Lucia's great but recommended I view my ex's story. I still haven't heard a word.
Thank you coach Lee for all the help you gave me during the no contact period, I found peace while watching your videos and got motivated to stay in no contact, after 3 month my ex reached out( "how are you") and we got back together after a while, she even was mad because "I could reach out before" while at the beginning she said to never write her again,( I made all the mistakes like begging etc and she used her friend to say to leave her alone), she noticed I've improved and got better, now I'm happy and hope this won't happen again..
Thank you again😍
You poor soul....
❤ MOVING ON NOW, AND FOCUSING ON MY GOAL 😊
I’m doing the same for the past week! ☺️🦋
I hope moving on has worked well for you, the last 4 weeks ♥️
Whether your relationship was 6 months, 2 years, 6 years or 20 years, getting into another relationship after just 2 months is getting into a rebound relationship in anyone's language.
I wish I saw this a week ago. Last week I posted a photo of me on a date. My ex hasn't liked any posts of mine in almost a year (been broken up for 5 months). As soon as I posted the date photo she liked it. Then she texted all happy about it asking who it was. I've been friends with her the last 2-3 months during which she told me she was talking with a married man. Im helping her move her stuff out of my apartment and telling her I can't continue to be friends because I feel we are both so fake when we hang out. Im telling her that clearly she has been reaching out to me non stop since the breakup and there is a reason. Either way after im done moving her stuff, while im at her new apartment, I'm going to tell her I am gone from her life completely and to reach out only when she is ready to recognize what she lost and try to establish something more. I know I deserve more than fake friendships and high school games.
7 months NC and nothing. Ive come to terms it was to save me and not being reignited. NC was for me
You could have reach out at this point. But I don't advise it. It'll make things feel worse.
NC is for you not for them
@@FoxSleepingthat doesn't even make sense because there's ALWAYS women in the comment sections talking about their ex not contacting them and how it makes them feel sad and in despair. Have you ever just maybe thought the woman in your life just doesn't want anything to do you specifically abd you're just projecting your own circumstances onto everyone else as a way to cope with being rejected
@@FoxSleeping a woman who wants you will put work in to fight for a relationship she wants too. If she dumps you, then is disappointed that you didn’t chase and try convince her than that is manipulation, she’s disappointed you respected the breakup and gave the space she wanted… that is unfair and backwards.
My ex said she knows i’d do anything to make the relationship work moving forward, but she didn’t have the will to try herself. So she gets NC and i’ll need to see some effort or interest from her, otherwise it won’t work - if she’s sitting in silence expecting me to lower my value and sacrifice my self-respect by chasing her after she cut me out, than she’s not the women I thought she was.
@@giovannipantorno884 completely agree thanks for the advice
I’m about 5 months into no contact. Seems like he’s happy with another woman after completly ghosting me. As time has gone on, it has become easier. Time has made me realize I deserved a better partner and put up with too much.
I feel where you are coming from. It actually looks like both of our relationships ended around the same time . I didn’t go no contact until around 3 months after my breakup though. It’s really good to hear that someone else put a stop to the disrespect as well.
You are right though , it does get easier in time , but that’s the whole thing , people have to give it time , and that includes not jumping into another relationship right away or too soon. Anyway , I just wanted to congratulate you for overcoming something that I know is a hard process.
I started watching your videos when I was hurting. I was the dumpee. I'm not hurting anymore. If there's one thing I've learned don't pretend to move on. Do move on and focus on yourself. And be the best version of your self 9 months since breakup I'm ok either way. But I'm enjoying my freedom and not even looking for a partner 🙂
Hi Coach Lee,
Your videos helped me cope up and muster up the courage to get up everyday to work, keep myself busy, and find or learn new things that are not usually what I'm doing. I tried begging, pleading, and chasing because I thought that it would work but I was wrong. My ex of 10 years broke up with me a month ago, it's still crushing me. but seeing your videos made me realize my worth. Thank you.
We spoke I asked them to meet up and got rejected. They told me to Move on. If they tell you that its basically no point trust me dont hang on. In response I said I'll move on. Trust that it's over.
Yeh that question should come from THEM. You are not the one to initiate things - That will fail many times. You wanna show strength.
@@FoxSleeping Moving on is the only consequence that I had. The conversation led to a dead end. She was putting on a show on fb to make me jealous. What else could I do?
@Evermore2017 you're essentially suggesting obsessive stalker behavior. When someone says they're done and wants to be left alone, you should respect that and listen to them. People like you end up with restraining orders and cuffed by cops
After how much no contact though?
@@norswil8763 4 Months
Coach Lee i found you a few years ago, the thing is, by these video's i became and still become a better person.
I understand more, i "hate" less. And when i say hate i found out so many times hate is against yourself. Its deep inside ya and you can think others are make the conflict deep inside you but no. Its your mirror.
I give others space and especially myself.
Work on yourself people❤
Don't date for just dating.
Take the grieve and see what it tells you....
All the love from Amsterdam Coach Lee.
You are amazing 🌱 i truly meen it 💚
Today my ex picked up her stuff from my house. We’ve been broken up for nearly two months after a 3 year relationship. We had a 2 minute chat for a bit at my front door. She done her makeup and hair just the way I use to like it however I didn’t compliment or anything just kept it a how things, how work, how your family type of thing. I could tell she was holding back tears and she said I can feel it starting to rain (It wasn’t) and then headed back to her friend’s car. 5 minutes later I head out to go for a meal and I see she is crying in the passenger seat of her friends car at the end of my alleyway and then she saw me put on sun glasses hiding from me and they drove off.
lmao damn
😅😅
It’s been three months. She broke up with me over text and left my shit in her garage for me to pick up when I got back. Honestly, I’m still pissed off about the way she decided to end it. Not a word yet - but she stalks tf out of my social media. She’s not always avoidant but I’ve got other women who want to talk to me. She lost the privilege of keeping me around. I just focused on myself, some nights fuckin sucked. I loved that woman HARD. Oh well, it’s time to move tf on. Waiting is a fools game.
garage band lol
My ex is a fearful avoidant and no contact never worked but I’ve accepted it was for the best. It wasn’t going to be a healthy long term relationship until she realized her attachment style and tried to do the work with me.
After 20 years together, married 18 even 6 months seems to soon.
You need to remain a mystery and give mixed signals. They should be wondering what’s going on.
Unbeknownst to me, someone told him I had a boyfriend (not true). Probably prevented him from reaching out, but also perhaps drove home the idea that I *could* move on and he'd lost me. And if he'd lost me, he'd move on.
You’re helping so many people by talking about this!
...yep, that is veryb true, even if it is after the fact, after some sort of relationship breakdown. I think for a lot of people it will help them to avoid certain types of people next time, as long as they do the work prior.
The moral of the story is don't play games. No contact isn't playing games ...it's taking control of your life but lying and spreading stories to try to manipulate someone back to you isn't pure in energy and almost never results in a good outcome. Just stay no contact and work on yourself. They don't need to know if you've moved on but they can see that you're doing well which might give you the results you desire.
The last sentence as you implied is also manipulation
@@FoxSleeping Actually, Jeff Bezos buffed up, he distanced himself from the day to day decisions of Amazon and has now appeared to show a public commitment to Laura Sanchez, that I don't remember being aware of, with the wife who left him. I'm not pointing this out to make you wrong; but I'm noticing that every person can benefit from personally investing their time in a life upgrade.
If someone stepped back from what you had, particularly in an ugly way - through violations, betrayal and such - then part of that personal upgrade could be to delve into why you might actually want someone like that back. Just sayin'...
In any case, "working on yourself" means different things specifically; to each individual. And unfortunately; it doesn't play out in real life like reminding someone to sleep - nor is it hurling blame, in my book. I read it more as a reminder to get some control back in one's life. After all, if someone has moved back, away from you; you're static and their motion is dynamic. They have the control. To get your power back, you have to also go back into motion. That way, when they come back around; you won't be standing in the same place. Now they'll have to reach for you.
Jeff Bezos may not need to work on himself when it comes to finances or fame but there are plenty of rich famous people that can improve themselves a lot in other areas. Bezos can start by choosing a much better partner.
Moving on for good is the best strategy if it has been more than 6 months and they didn’t even care to go counseling or reconcile
anyone else get mesmerized by how handsome couch lee is that they forget about their Ex for the moment? Just me? Lol.. Guess I'm not as hurt as I thought Hahah.. no in all seriousness, couch lee has helped me a lot in making better decisions. I was suck on my Ex, it been almost 2 years since the break up. I was the one who broke it off for emotional and verbal abuse. It took me a long time to truly accept that I didn't deserve that & don't want that old life again. It's was hard in the beginning especially co-parenting but now that we see less of each other for pickup/drop off - its really helped a lot. Its another form of no contact that is helping me move on.
Thank you for the compliment and I’m glad I could help in some way. If you two have kids together I hope there could be a future for you since you have a family together. I’m available for a private session at myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/
It isn't just you! Lol he is attractive for sure. Nice distraction while listening to sound advice. It's been 2 years since my relationship, he reaches out about every 6 months and while I miss him horribly, I'm afraid to even respond to him. I can't take anymore pain. I've not dated and still no interest. I'm learning to be happy alone. 😊
I do agree with most of what @CoachLee says however I don’t believe in responding to an ex when they reach out, particularly with breadcrumbs as in the majority of cases they’re just looking to keep you as a fallback options or to receive your validation.
I’m currently in no contact and have pretty much moved on and am dating someone else now. I do still miss my ex though consciously realise that she’s not relationship ready or done the work to heal her fearful avoidant attachment style. She’s not apologised for what she did wrong or made any effort to genuinely reconcile (and I don’t expect her to because she’s incapable of doing so) so I’m moving on with my life.
My advice - only respond when/if they reach out with a genuine and meaningful message where they express regret and a desire to reconnect. DO NOT respond ever to breadcrumbs
I agree Coach Lee should be more clear when he talks about an ex reaching out and explain that breadcrumbs are not reach outs.
Sometimes its hard to tell if its a breadcrumb or not too for me. I only get the confirmation it was a breadcrumb after the message when he doesn’t contact me again for another week or so, and another way to tell whether its a breadcrumb or not as you mentioned, is if your ex is apologizing and expressing regret and a want to reconcile.
If not its breadcrumbs…
Dude, I could not have said it better myself. I was in the exact same situation and I really do believe that dealing with fearful avoidance or dismissive avoidance is probably one of the hardest relationships with a female. They really do have so much to work on and they sabotage relationships so well that it is almost impossible to have a healthy relationship with them if they cannot see and work on their problems. I also find them to be somewhat cowardly and very pain avoidant, and to be honest most of us would love that in our lives. But sometimes when you screw up really bad you need to just have the courage to say sorry and genuinely tell that person that you miss them and love them. Coach Lee has said many times not to fall for bread crumbs and they do that a lot. He has also said that some relationships were the person has personality disorders of some sort, or strong indicators of them, you should also probably not go back to unless that person has shown genuine change. You will of course have to watch a lot of his videos to see that it is probably best that most people pay for a coaching session if they can. Otherwise you have to watch a lot of videos to get to that point.
5 months later after I walked away I found out he moved on back to his ex. Hurts but guess what I’m working on me and I can’t wait for the day I don’t care at all. I’m def putting in the work.
Hi Coach. My girlfriend broke up with me a little over 2 weeks ago. i went no contact immediatly after taking care of some practical stuff (moving my stuff out and some finances). The last time I saw her, I asked her to not text me because every message I got from her after the breakup broke my heart. She is a strong and respectful person and said she still cares about me. But now I'm afraid she might resist the temptations to reach back out because she wants to respect my request...
Also, thanks for the videos, Lee. They really help to put things in perspective. I'm sure I will heal in time, whatever happens, but shit man I just want to talk to her again and show her I am handling my addictions and becoming a better person for my own sake..
Thanks!
I can't handle it, it hurts a lot. And she doesn't care.
Im in week 2 but i feel she is happy
Get a coach or counselor -- Someone you pay to be on your side, who has the skill and capability to support you in this phase. At Week 2 you are still in the most painful stage. Do whatever you can to not pay attention to her on social media, and don't post anything she might see. Don't talk to mutual friends. All that will just make you crazy and keep you stuck. You will start to feel better in some number of weeks or months. The more you accept the grieving process, the more quickly and effectively you will move through it. Best wishes.
I placed a date night picture on IG. The next day, she made a TikTok video about her being seeing someone else. I know she is already seeing someone new. So why should I be the one waiting. If it's meant to be, we will reconcile at some other point in our lives. For now, I'm moving on.
Being at the 7th month point, I'm glad I didn't wait to invest in personal growth to offset the pain. I made sure that I had something to look forward to every day - even when I could have used my friend's contact the most. And that helped, for me.
I'm now at a stage where the first feeler was offered for coffee a few weeks ago, but I wasn't going to be in town. The next time I stated that I would be, the offer wasn't renewed. And now, I've realized that my friend started tracking my phone about a month ago. I tried to turn off the tracker but the notification appeared again, under another ISP. So I'm figuring, whatever - we have a few more rounds to go.
I still miss my friend's input about the events in my life; but I've invested in strengthening my other social support systems. So now I'm re-examining my options.
If they break up with you for no good reason, they have some serious issues that you obviously didn’t know about. Are you sure you want that back?
He said To Me
" You want me to choose between My family And You"
I said " I never want That that, I like Your Children"
After I broke off with him I realized He was talking about his ex-wife
You're right coach ive done what you've taught us and he keeps coming back but I've worked on me and now i don't want him.
That’s the power of no contact working
After 20 year's of marriage , My Ex divorced Me 😢. After My new Wife an I got married, the Ex stalked Us for 2 year's. 😮
I couldn't take it. I removed him since he don't want me
I'm giving up on him and the only thing I wanted from him is an decent answer, why he ghosted me if we had the opportunity to finish things a better way.
He knows how and where to find me. So, people. We must keep hope, but also remember they dumped me with no remorse.
I admit my mistakes, but he also made mistakes. This doesn't eliminate my responsibility, but it's not all my fault.
I respect him, but the hole he made to my heart I will never forget.
If they broke up with you you have every right to move on. Why would they get mad?
lol my ex gf thought i was with someone else just cuz i didnt chase her after she dumped me and reached out only to just say "Oh i forgive u for moving on i forgive u for moving on to another person" lol i havent dated anybody shes immature for reaching out just to say that shit to me what was the point!? i've been single since may!
I have been using NC to ruminate and get it through my head and heart that I was living in a fantasy with the dumper and the truth was, it wasn't a great relationship. I'm doing great and trying to get my stuff back but HE is not answering my request to get my stuff back. Lack of responsiveness is another reason it's easier for me to put him in the rearview mirror.
I never contacted any of his friends and avoiding their calls for months. I don't talk to his family any longer.
I wish I had never called her. I don’t know that it would have made any difference at all, but I feel like it did more harm than good. I wish I could just move on. I wish I was brave enough to.
Don’t beat yourself. I pounded the final nail in the coffin today. People who we are meant to be with don’t hurt us. It’s not meant to be
If they left you for someone else they didn’t love you in a way you deserve. If you take them back they WILL cheat or leave you again because that is how they deal with conflict or they’re disordered. Move on!
He told me that he’s processed his feelings, he’s told me that he’s moved on, but he keeps messaging me and calling me. 🤦🏻♀️ I feel like he’s playing games
...sounds very immature and doesn't kow what he wants. You can do better than that.
Lost my wife 10 month ago. Tried no contact but without success. In my opinion all hope is gone now, i am thinking she doesn’t find a way back to me (and our daughters) and will not, because she simply doesn’t know what she wants - me and her family or her ridiculous rebound relationship. She said to my daughter she is missing our family and her life is a misery now. Good to know. But she still doesn’t come back. Nonetheless she is still very curious about what is happening in our family, about my relationship status and other things. Don’t know what to do now….
But your videos helped me a lot to calm down, feeling hope and move on. Greetings from Germany.
Mein Mitgefühl!
I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. My situation is kind of the same. Unfortunately I have no hope now and am doing what I can to mine on with little contact. It’s been 20 months.
You're leaving out the part of why she left you and what had led up to it.
In my experience, the no contact is not to be used as a tool to get anyone back. It should be used as a tool to work on yourself and find your way back to happiness.
You have to assume that she knows what she wants. Either she is miserable but still chose that over being in a relationship with you for whatever reason and handles that with a rebound….or she wants you to fix her misery for her. Maybe only by confirming her.
Either way, she is an adult and has to deal with her own situation in the same way she left you to deal with your situation. You can’t help her to make a decision that you want her to make. If she wants you to try again she has to show that to you, not involve the children which is very unrespectful to the children and might affect them negatively.
In the end you have to respect her decision to leave. It might hurt unbearably but that is what a man does.
All this might sound harsh and hit hard, but just give it a thought at least. This might even give her a feeling that she is on the clock to make a decision herself.
I know it’s extremely difficult.
Getting back together with an Ex is bad idea, everytime.
What if they contact u after a yr. She asks how your doing. U say fine. Then asks how your doing doing with the b/u. Your shocked they asked that after a yr. U say, I'm fine. Then very condescending they say, See, i knew u'd b OK. Talk about ripping your guts out. Then like 4yrs later they comeback but convenience is the main reason. Plus u saw them a yr earlier & nothing had changed. They embarrass u in front of friends. They take a special memory away and use their partner to trump u. What do u do then?
If you’re rejected , go no contact not for ex but for you to heal from that breakup. Don’t necessarily date anyone just make friends heal properly get over the break up , trust me this gives you the power to decide if you want them back or not , in most cases you might not want them back . In summary no contact is for you to detect emotions from this person
Why is it that begging always works on me
I had to move on and date other women in order to stop contacting her. I could not stop reaching out. No contact wasn’t happening and it was my fault. Once I moved on and started seeing other women I finally left her alone and within days she was begging me back.
Haha I’ve tried these tips before and it does work! I just usually slip back into emotional though. But after watching ur other videos similar on this, I write taken on my bio and I even said I’m going to someone’s house with a dry bye like idc. I’m gonna go to someone’s house not lying but he’s prob not gonna think it’s a friends and someone guy. Well! I’ll be back with results 👍
Yeah i took him back after he left me for another gurl..and he told me he was gonna do better but I didn't see it ..its like he got to comfortable and i felt like i was taken for granted..so i left him again and he just walked away and didn't care to put effort or fix it.he just block me..its been five days but im trying to stay strong and move on but apart of me still wants him back or aleast hear from him
If what you wanted was more effort from his end, walkingg away was the wrong move. Don’t end things unless you truly feel better off w out them, not to get them to increase effort and pursuit. If you want him in your life again, you have to be the one to pursue him because you were the most recent dumper.
Ive been 3 months NC after breaking up for the second time with this person. I’m thinking after the 5-6 months and I don’t hear from them, its time to delete them from social media and move on, is that ok?
I made the
Mistake and
Told him I’m trying to move on given he made the decision for us not to be together and if he did t have anything important to say than I didn’t want to hear from him… He was sending me breascrumbs and I didn’t think it was fair. He texted back ok won’t happen again…. And it’s been a month since I’ve heard from him. Did I mess up???
I made the same mistake. Do you have any update?
Broken up a month 35 days ago. I was judged because of my mistakes. Did everything but made the situation worse coz of her family misunderstanding. She is still angry at me and Cried to me on the phone call 2 days ago and told me not to contact her. I got a chance to apologise for my mistakes the relationship was very good, but in the last couple of months, I pulled away a bit coz of my personal family matters and was more focused on the gym. I want her back, But I am sure she will come back as I have done the damage in the relationship.
After a certain time period (6 months usually), the only reason someone comes back is because they failed to replace you with someone better. They don’t really want you that much, they just don’t want to be alone. Don’t fall for the stories saying otherwise.
You must have had 100's of failed relationships which makes you an expert?
I no contact; no care with 95% of my exes.
Great advice
I reached out to my ex after 58 days NC to apologize and validate my exs feelings for microcheating in our relationship. She said she's moving on and not coning back to the relationship. Its been three and a half months since we broke up. I dont think the love of my life is coming back . . .
this some what happened to me but neither of us cheated but i apologize and asked if he moved on but he just moved on from the past like our relationship wasn’t there
Whoa ! People are going through tough times. Shall i tell you how I got over my ex?
How? Tell me?
I put some questions to myself
1. Did he really loved me? Coz people who love don't leave.
2. If I get him back with whatever means, will it be the same? Because a person once left me can leave me again. At least now I'm in a position to lookafter my future.
3. Do I deserve this gut wrenching suffering? Every second was painful. I went into depression, got hyperthyroidism, my hair started thinning after breakup.
4. He has moved on in his life. Better I move on too. So that if we ever meet again, I shouldn't be looking overaged and failed person that will convince him, that he did a right thing by breaking up with me.
It was not easy, but I did it anyway. If there is a boy for me, destiny will do magic, until then I'm focused on my well being.
@@ipdharwad thank you... I asked myself also of he ever loved me and I think he never did... my hair also started falling after the discard...
She DM’d me 2 weeks after the breakup saying she still has a hammer that I left at her place lol. I answered a few days later telling her to keep it. Then she asked “how am I doing?”. I just told her I’m good, and about to go play basketball. She liked the message then poof. That was 2 weeks ago now. Like what was the point of that?
My x left me three times . All three i did no contact when they left. This is the 4th dump . Im looking at all these videos to make some sense as to what's going on. I don't want this person anymore. I feel like a bandaid and nothing more.
What if an ex reaches out after 3 months, asking to meet up and come over to your house, saying that even though our relationship is over, we never had a chance to properly say goodbye? And they don’t want to never speak to you again? That’s what happened to me.
I’d say this is your opportunity to wow them with You 2.0! Be cool, pull back a bit, and match - minus a bit - their actions. This may well be them attempting reconnection under the guise of a “visit.”
@@mattdawson6627 yeah I think you’re right - I hope I didn’t fudge it up. I was so confused and said that if this meetup is for ‘closure’ I don’t think it’s a good idea because it might open up wounds that are healing. But left it by saying I’ve grown to realize over the past few months how much they meant to me, and if they’re ever open to starting again, I’d love to have that conversation. There’s been no response since. And I’ve now gone back to no contact.
@@And-jh9hg Try not to overthink it… That’s what we’re all doing, and what we try to “crystal ball” right now is heavily tinged with self doubt, fear, and confusion. Be gentle with yourself, be positive, and remember that YOU are a catch! If their intentions were what you’d hoped, they’ll reach out again. DON’T fault or punish yourself for words you use in grief. What you said was VERY strong - you set a boundary that you aren’t going to be hurt MORE by essentially “another dumping.” Trust in YOURSELF. Be confident in YOURSELF - you know what you bring to the table! No matter how much you love this person and want them back, remember THEY told YOU you “weren’t enough” (NOT TRUE, by the way!!); show them you’re MORE than enough - DARE them to try and find someone better! YOU are the prize!! If they don’t recognise that, they lose YOU, and they WILL regret it for the rest of their lives!! All while YOU find someone who WILL recognise your value! YOU ARE THE PRIZE!!!
Your ex is emotionally abusing you at that point.
@@sloanmagnum5009 emotionally abusing? Because of the ask for closure?
I'm going to need the break-up therapy where its a no he is contacting me not but I have no interest right now I want to work on me
My ex told me three weeks ago that I’m a good guy but she doesn’t feel we can recover from disrespecting each other. Fast forward three weeks later and she’s saying she wants to start back talking and miss goofing around with me. Is this a sign of breadcrumbing?
It’s hard to say 100%, so be cautious because you don’t want to accidently ruin your odds. It is possible that in the breakup she was focused on the negatives, but the space she got after reminded her of the positives, creating motive to reconnect. If I were you, I’d respond to her when she reaches out but don’t initiate anything at least at first. Be causal and polite but don’t show coldness or excitement about getting back together. Focus on having a good time w each other rather than relationship issues and see where things go. If you want to get back together, she has to be the one to imitate that conversation because she was the one who walked away
Could you make a serie about 'how to date?' some insight about the dating in general and/or whether and how to be open about it.
I've met a really golden girl 3 months after a breakup. We were talking and talking, and she looks interested in me. We haven't been on a date yet, and I would like to go on a date with her.
If she accepts, I would love to know what to actually assess, how to further attract her without turning it into a chasing lol.
You know, the emergency dating kit and/or savour vivre (not talking about how to handle a knife of course)
Just be yourself, don't overthink it or try to be someone you are not...
Coach Lee tell us what to do if we've already made a mistake and told them we've moved on and want to try something new? how do i correct the error?
Can you fix it if you said that you moved on? I waited for ten months of no contact and then I reached out to him. Then I said that and I found him back in the apps.
My ex reached out a little over a year ago after she ended it. Her life was falling apart. Her friend was passing and she felt I needed to know. Took me 24 hours. I finally responded.
Also think she was looking back. Noticed that I had started removing pictures of her and I on social media..
My two face sibling told my ex I was on dating sites and seeing other woman, and my sibling was telling my ex everything I was doing
What you have failed to mention to your audience in this situation is that while your woman has you on the back burner, she is getting throttled by likely more than one person. With that statistical fact, you need to decide if you can live with that.
do you guys think they’ll never contact us again due to the guilt of breaking up with us?
We were social media friends after the break up and he came back to me last year but he doesn’t want a relationship just friendship right now. I have too many feelings and I noticed that he watches my stories but doesn’t reach out. It’s always me texting to see how he’s doing. On my last text to him, he left me on read. I deactivated my social media - didn’t delete him and I even told him this to be kind. Idk how this will pan out as I have no intention to get back on due to alot of things going on in my life right now.
Will this affect our relationship such as worsen it or will it give him the mystery factor? I’m honestly doing this for me - deactivation bc I have too many triggers including him watching my stories but never reaching out.
Friendship isn’t what I want esp if he’s seeing other ppl. I went back into NC (it was hard bc i liked that he watched my stories, but i also see how that’s not enough for me)
Coach Lee, I need your advice. Your videos worked wonders for me when my ex from 3 years ago came crawling back twice before, and your advice helped me get through that difficult breakup. I want to express my massive thanks.
But now, I'm in a different situation. The man I've been dating for 2 years, who is now my ex, broke up with me 4 days ago. We still deeply love each other, but due to relationship issues and constant arguments, it damaged him, leading to the end of our relationship. However, he said he didn’t want to lose me, so we both agreed to stay friends. We still call each other by our pet names and even tell each other we love each other. We both plan to remain single and get back together in the future, maybe in a few months; that was our goal.
However, this "friends" thing is really difficult for me. I told him I'll need some time and space, perhaps a month or two, to heal before I can be just friends with him. He said he couldn’t stand being apart from me for that long and wanted us to keep in touch occasionally to stay updated on each other's lives. What should I do? Do I still need to apply the no-contact rule even if he texts me?
Let him go. If he wanted to be with you he would. He’s just not the right person
@@1968chooch Yes, that was our case. We both decided to remain friends as both of us couldn’t completely let go of each other. We were each other’s first love. He told me he didn’t want to lose me, but it's just that right now, he couldn’t maintain a relationship because he’s too damaged and not in a good place mentally. He also doesn’t plan to tell his mother that we've broken up because his mother likes buying me gifts. He said he wants her to continue buying me stuff so when we get back together, he could give it to me personally
Cut contact until he comes back and offers the relationship again
Dont reply to his texts or calls
@@li5043 no. Do not let him ever come back. The trash took itself out. Do not let it back in. It’s a cycle of abuse. Lovebomb devalue discard. You’ve been discarded. If you let him back the cycle will just continue. Find someone who is committed to you not someone who will just leave you over and over again
Can you do a video on an ex that maintains contact after the break up.
There’s plenty of videos about this subject out there.
My ex gf left me a year ago. She came back in december. Since then I have been dating both her and another girl. I wasn’t sure what to do. I truly love my ex and wanted to pursue thibgs with her and break it off with the other girl, but my ex found out about her. My ex then kicked me out of her place and told me she didn’t want to see me again. She doesn’t believe it was only a casual relationship. What do I do to get my point across to her that I love her and only her?
You remind her that it was She who broke up with you first!!
If she can’t own up to this, she’s a mental case
My covert narky ex gf could care less. Discarded me 5mos ago for a guy she monkeybranched to ending 8.5 yrs together. Shes found her "1 true love"😂 & im just a depleting dusty a--. Ive been strict zero dark :30 No Contact 4.5 mos & will stay that way less she outreaches. In meantime gonna heal, work self, & level up as Coach Lee says to do am best version of self IF she does present later or i find a woman 10x better 😊
i do not think you should even consider her coming back, she left a 8.5 year long relationship once, you cannot trust her to be with you when you need her, find a better person
@@ritikgupta7781 that makes sense. Ive heard that a lot. I wasnt perfect & made mistakes also in relationship. Im at fault for SOME things but i never bailed on her & always wanted communicate. What she did was so diabolical & planned.
I think I'm the rebound for my ex 😓. Now we're in no contact. Should I just forget her and move on, or do I still have a chance?
Ps: She's my sister-in-law's cousin, which is how we met. We will run into each other in December.
She left me at the beginning of April. In the first time I was begging and pleading because I didn’t know better. Since 8 weeks I am in NC and now she contacted my mother to ask how I‘m doing.
I my opinion she is just doing it, to get sure that I am over it, so she can go on. It is just to calm down her guilty conscience. What do you guys think ?
Sounds like she wants that dopamine hit by knowing youre pine away missing & wait for her cause before your NC you WERE chasing and it felt comfy for her. Now its not. Stay NC. Go zero dark:30 on any social media for a while (months).
....you can never really know and depends a lot on the type of personality and attachment style they are. I think some people are just lost and don't know what they want and how to get it. It's very hard to be with someone like that so as they suggest in all these videos, you've just got to make yourself better, all the mnore so so you don't attract someone like this again.
Great video Lee.
After a few weeks we talked, and i said "It's okay, no hard feelings on my end 🙂 Calling it off was completely fair, and it seems like it was the best option for us both in the end."
Was this a mistake?
So...we lived together..went on a weekend away to 1 of my friends and I was dumped, she called her son to collect her and take her home. I begged her not to leave, but after she did I went into NC and stayed at my friends house, its only been a few days but Im sure shes going to contact me about me having to fetch my stuff/furniture etc which is not exactly a small interation. I dont want to see her and I dont want to go to the house either because I know I will end up begging or say something wrong. How do I respond to that when it comes? What to do here?
It is better she thinks you moved on rather than she think you as a weak man
There's a contradiction here. You suggest the no contact strategy to get an ex back. However, no contact may lead your ex to think you moved on, which according to this video you say has 65% chance of ending up in your ex moving on too. Hence, no contact leads to not getting your ex back?
There is no contradition. If they speculate about possibilities of you moving on it's ok. Unless you tell them ersonally after reaching out to you.
My ex-girlfriend unfriended me on Facebook this week randomly. But she was watching like all my stories. I unfollowed her but wasn’t going to remove her. Is it because she was missing me a lot? Can I still get her back?
same thing just happened to me, she unfriend me after breaking up with me out of the blue!! it was perfect the boom blind sides, shes been watching my stories already
Hi coach lee, i really love your teaches.
I caught my wife cheating with another man 3 weeks ago. When I confronted her she said cares for me a lot but she doesn't love me anymore. Then she ran off to live with him. I have been in contact with her for the 3 weeks she's been gone. She said she cries about me she misses me but she won't come back. Do you guys think I should give time?
Forget her
Dont forgive her, forget her. Every time you think of her REMEMBER what she did. Forget her and remember that!
Can someone tell me what they think of my situation? My ex reached out 3 times and I was following no contact really well for the past few months. The first two times he texted me, it was casual and short but he did seem interested in my life since I became a mystery like coach Lee mentions. However, last week he asked to call me. On the phone call he mentioned he was just wanted to check on me, etc and we were catching up. When I asked if he wanted to hangout (coach Lees advice if it goes well) he said he wouldn’t mind hanging out but doesn’t see me long-term. I got offended and upset by that and unfortunately, I reacted in the wrong way. I said it’s better that we don’t talk then if you see me as a friend because I don’t see you as just a friend. Long story short, I messed up. Do you think there is any hope for us now?
I don’t think you necessarily messed anything up. As long as you kept your cool in your response. Remember, they often reach out testing the waters, and that initial contact is probably not gonna go right back to trying a relationship again. It seems you let him know what you want - and setting a boundary is a good thing, cause he can’t just have you as a friend. They can’t just have us for their benefit to make the breakup easier for them. So are you going back into no contact?
My ex reached out after 3 months asking to meet up and I said yes at first…but when they followed up days later to set a date, the text said that even though the relationship is over, we never had a chance to properly say goodbye and he doesn’t want to never speak to me again. That put a weird taste in my mouth and I just said I don’t think meeting for ‘closure’ is a good idea as it might open up wounds that are healing. But if theyre ever open to starting again, I’d love to have that conversation. No response back. It hurts but I know no contact is the way to go. That’s what I’d suggest for you too. Remember, we set a boundary, and that boundary is attractive.
Yes I’m back in no contact now. Part of me is glad that I set a boundary but I guess I’m just afraid he will feel like he can’t talk to me or reach out now since I said it’s better if we don’t talk. I don’t think I sounded mad but maybe kind of annoyed/hurt in my tone. I think Coach Lee said we should remain friendly so they will feel they can keep reaching out? Even if they aren’t 100% sure yet 😢
@@beedee731 its ok we’re humans we have feelings don’t be too harsh on yourself you’re doing good just go back in NC and do your thing if he truly loves you and if you are meant to be he will come back
You didn't mess up. You made it known how you feel and the other person told you how they feel and it looks like both of you want different things in life and that is your answer. You need to move on from that person.
@@sloanmagnum5009 Yeah I understand that, I’m just not sure why he wanted to reach out 3 times months after he dumped me? And why call me too? It’s all confusing :/
I’ve been in no contact for about 3 weeks and I was on instagram looking through people’s stories and I accidentally viewed my exs story. I’m hoping that it’s not a big deal
They don't care like you think they do
What if my ex thinks that I was manipulating her doesn’t talk to me and is now in a new relationship?
Coach Lee I was following another youtube coach and he said you need to do No Contact for 30 days. What do you think about this number? To me it seems way to short, but he insists on it and will mention it in every video of his. Especially when you are the one that was dumped, I think 30 days of no contact is not even close to being enough and I thought 3 months would be better before the dumpee reaches out. I know ideally the dumper should reach out, but yeah they might never do.
Also my ex waited exactly 40 days before deleting me from her contact list. I could still see her picture, but 40 days later not anymore. What do you think about this?
With all the variables in relationships nobody can give a definitive time of 30 days for your unique situation. It could be less or it could be more...
May be in 30 days she is on the time of first reconsideration but it is absolutely impossible you have outgrown her in that short period of time. The moment you contact her she will see the same flaws almost immediately.
It's bs don't listen to these people , no contact it's for your personal growth it's not a magic tool to get your ex.
She is hurt that you haven't reached out thats why she deleted
No contact is forever unless the dumper contacts you don't contact them
i told her I'm not going to take you back next time you come back because she left me for the second time and we had a very good relationship she said she's not but last week she seen my massage but haven't texted me and she post sad posts on instagram about how she misses what we had and all the bs what are the odds she's coming back?because i really regret saying ''im not going to take you back'' I'm in no contact for one month and a half now please help me coach lee.
He said he is not psychologically good and feels depressed and said if we should give it a break. He didn’t specifically called it a break up but it’s been 8 months now and we are on no contact. He broke no contact couple of times I definitely didn’t ignore him but also I put a distance and kept the conversation so casual. He also celebrated my birthday etc. I don’t text him, I dont call him. I even removed him from my social media ( for my own sanity) that was what he asked for. I am not sure if he gonna come back. But I have a feeling he will . I am really not sure. Coach Lee, if you see this comment, did I make the right thing? Will he forget about me? How will he react that I removed (not blocked) him from social media?
Sounds like you're torturing yourself and this other person doesn't take you serious
I am divorced recently.. my ex husband removed all of our photos together in all social media …. I am trying no contact to get him back… now should I also remove our posts together in social media? Please answer
If you're already divorced. Isn't that considered over.
looking good coach!
Snazzy as always😎