@@lukemei5ter I just told my ex today we forgot about how good our friendship was and I’d like to get that in place again as well smh . I know I have things I need to work on for me and I will do that for me ....
@@RDJ214 Nope I was seeing someone else at the time so no. I was friendly with the mother and looking back on that it was a mistake. I was very young at that time 16 so......
Yes that worked the opposite for me and he laughed about it. I felt he was using me to make her jealous but if not it hurt so bad that I though if he cares for me how can he intentionally hurt me like this
@@reginawoess4928 I'm sorry this happened to you, but someone that really loves you wouldn't try and hurt you. Sometimes god will move people from your life to make room for the right people to come into your life.
@@reginawoess4928 Cheating is a sign that the person is feeling ignored and lonely. The thing is, it might be their own fault, for ignoring his girl. He mighta forgotten that the chase never ends and she herself might be feeling really ignored and women need to feel safe and understood or their legs close. So on the one hand, he makes her feel unsafe and unheard, and then the end result, if he is unaware/uneducated, or is a serial cheater, is that he will try to use another woman to break through to his wife.... Maybe that's why the best way to get a woman who loves you back is to realize the signs of toxic narcissism on your part in your relationship and take action to show her you are moving forward in life without those narcissistic tendencies. Love can change people for the better.
@@thevapingauditfrog2387 cheating is a sign of selfishness and lack of empathy on hurting others you will not change a Narcissistic personality person people shouldn't even try you run from them it's no one's job to fix other people and no excuses for cheating 💯
Yes, you're right you ex says let's be friend's they broke up with you so why let them have some kind of hold or power over you, they chose to end the relationship shouldn't let them have no hold over you your not a puppet for them to want you when they want you or click their fingers and you come running to them, they either still want to be with you or not with you.
@@nativechique7589 lmao ikr I actually still love my ex and we are trying to work it out ! But I’ve definitely use to watch stuff like this for ex’s I didn’t really want back just wanted to see them beg lol petty I know
@conservativebar, I absolutely agree about social media. If you are going to be HURT watching and/or reading about how well they are, how HAPPY they are, STAY OFF!
He unfriended me after a month of no contact. And I LAUGHED. It’s fine! I’m not playing a game. I’m just moving on. I’m such a different person now, I deserve someone who didn’t throw away a future with me.
If you ex loved you and left you. Usually at the beginning of the breakup you the one in pain but later you usually in control of the breakup. They will live with guilt for a long time. Just work on yourself….Become selfish. No waisting time
@@moumitachatterjee3338 yes its true, it happened with my female bestfriends, not one but two of them..both realized that they did wrong by leaving their boyfriends and they got back together and today I'm also left alone by my gf and Ik she gonna regret it someday🙂 and mainly I'll focus on myself to get better in every angle so that she urges to get back with me..cause I lost my self respect for her..
If they leave you, you’re better off without them! Trust me! When I cut off contact with my ex, I realized he was the one holding me back from achieving everything!! Him leaving…it legit was the BEST thing that ever happened to me! Love yourself enough to know if someone leaves you high and dry, you definitely deserve BETTER!!!!
I have learned do not talk to friends at all not only mutual friends about your relationship or break up. Keep you dignity and heads up and talk to family members like sister or mum only.
my ex posted a pic of her holding hands with another man, she contacted me two weeks later saying she missed me, move on baby girl, I don't like leftovers. it does get better...
I reached out yesterday after a week. He wanted me not to go to work and fly from Colorado to Florida to go see him for Valentine Day. He didn’t want to spend Christmas together but then why Valentines Day? I’ve lost a lot of money dealing with this man. He moved back home for work. All he did was complain about my job and wanted me to quit. I never would because he wasn’t willing to pay my bills or could. That’s his excuse for moving away, because I wouldn’t change my job, why should he.
@Johnathan Greay I can now see why you've had so many. I also know, they weren't the problem...Good luck at even being happy. At least my moms was happy while you stay struggling looking for it.
Thank you! 1:20 1. The Friendship Pitch - it's a game if it's pitched a few weeks after the breakup. They don't want you too far away that they can't get you back. 4:25 - you don't want to be the jerk so you treat them like a confident person. 5:28 - 2. They are mad at you bc you didn't contact them. The mature response is to back off & give them what they want. However, you can respond & say "I've been busy. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I hope you're doing well." Don't explain to them that not contacting with them is normal for people who break up. Don't ignore them. 7:50 8:52 3. The Jealousy Bait. They want you to see them with somebody else to make you reach out & beg for them back. They're using you for an ego boost. 11:10 Don't tell mutual friends about how you miss them, the breakup, you want them back, how you're struggling, etc. They may retell your anxieties, struggles, issues, etc to your ex. 14:20 4. The "Are You Ok?" game -they want you to ask them back or show you're still interested. Answer with "I'm ok". Don't chase or demonstrate that you want them back. 16:10 5. Stuff Status - they want to have an excuse later to get their stuff & see you. Don't make a big deal about it. Be casual & show you're fine. Be casual.
My ex was angry at me that I haven't contact her in 2 months but once I did she told me that she wanted to be friends and that her feelings have changed. So I am very but very confuse. I am not sure what to do
Talking to your ex does not get them back. Unfortunately, I found all of these videos after my outrageous responses. I know now that if someone breaks up with me, just say “Ok.” Zero work or effort after that. Fortunately, after over a year I am feeling much better but it took me a while to reach emotional neutrality. Whatever video or advice he followed, he did it to the letter. Lolol. He is the absolute king of no contact. And finally, I appreciate it, I deserve better. And I am excited about all the knowledge and empowerment I have gained since then.
This is why its so important to understand relationships and how they work. Because when you do, you really don't bother with games your ex plays, their silence, or whatever they are doing because you are too busy moving on and not worried about all this. Being worried about what your ex is doing and their games is how you stay stuck going backwards. Good topic here, because these are the games ex's can play.
My own boyfriend goes me and blocks me. After he breaks up with me for 3 days😮 So immature playing games at fifty three years old he is... Am I dodging a bullet? I hate to love the bullet❤
Goodness. To be honest at this point I just want a true genuine love. I don't like these stupid games and lack of communication anymore. I just want to say what I want to say. I hate having to talk to somebody feeling like I have to question everything they say cause it's always mixed with these useless games. I'm tired and I just want a pure harmless Love. :(
No one; Me: *coping with post-breakup anxiety at 1am by listening to Coach Lee's late-night-DJ-like voice saying "you're going to get through this either way"*
I’m watching this at 1:30am because my ex texted me earlier with an I love you text. It’s been less than 3 weeks of no contact so far, but I’m starting to think not being with him is not the end of the world after all.
No contact works. I haven’t been speaking to my ex for three weeks I gave her space. She texted me today about picking up her stuff and then she got into how mad she was that I never contacted her.We started the conversation of reconciliation today.
Been in NC for 5 days and she been blowing my shit up and then asks me out while I was sleeping then 30 mins later asks for her stuff then insults me 45 mins later 😂😂😂😂😭
Don't let people treat you like a game. If you take them back after this they won't respect you. Once a breakup happens, 99% of the time that relationship belongs in the past.
Or, if you can learn from it and let the negativity and pain that each caused go, it can be a great relationship builder. Depending on how long/strong the relationship is. People are to quick to jump ship at any sign of trouble. Working thru and learning together is key. IMO
This is 1000% true. I took her back 5 times in 5 years and the disrespect was insane. She never changed. It ended the exact same way the last 2 times. I learned self respect and bounderies are more important than love.
You're in love with your grind? Please explain "grind", I have never heard this term, but to "grind" up coffee beans, to grind up food mainly. if you don't mind, fill me in on your meaning please.
@@juliahash5038 grind refers to repetitively doing the same thing over and over. In my case it means working for three years straight 70 to 80 hours a week not one single call-in even on days I had zero sleep. The obsessive and relentless pursuit to reach a goal no matter the price.
So glad I remembered this video today, Lee. After 55 days of No Contact, my BPD ex sent me a friend request on Facebook 5 days ago. Then, yesterday, she posts a picture with another guy. In the past, I would have lost emotional control. Now, I understand and stay strong. Thank you!
Yeah tread carefully if they're personality disordered. She'll absolutely want to get you locked into a push pull cycle, and will eventually fully discard you anyway. Zero contact is the only way forward. She will not be happy with this new person and until she gets into long term consistent therapy, will continue to do this to anyone she's romantically involved with. These relationships are far more common than people think, and don't work the same as normal breakups.
I ghosted my ex when I found out he had me in a third party relationship, block him on everything and told him I moved, been working on myself as loving me and healing myself, peace of mind feels so good and doing better single, I'm no option to no man.
My ex always said things like 'if we weren't lovers, we'd definitely be friends' ... as if she knew. The ironic part is that weeks down the line of splitting up, she offered me friendship and I basically said "thanks, but no thanks" ... now we haven't spoken at all for over a month
Can you tell me what happened with you ? Did she contact you back ? I am in the same situation as you. What i discovered is that she lost interest in me and she was already speaking with other guys thats why she offered to be just friends.
Still nothing I'm afraid. It's been many months and I have no idea what she's doing and she knows nothing of what I'm doing. We're not connected in any way. Was considering contacting her again, since I have nothing to lose
@@MarshallSmith27 it's really complicated. For 3 years we were always together 24/7 but 15 months ago I find a new job outside my country and i couldn't stay in contact with her all the time, that's why she lost interest in my opinion. And she's the type that likes attention all the time.
The one hard thing I have learned in many years of dating is that as soon as someone starts messing you around, saying its over or whatever, then that is it - drop them. Take them at their word. That is it. It is over. And if they did not mean it, then maybe the next time with their next partner, they won't play this game.
You need to get your SELF back. If you do that, your ex will probably want you. But ironically, you won’t want them... I wish all of you the best, whatever that outcome is for your life.
Crazy how the no contact rule really worked for me, although a lot has changed & it’s not the same trust we once had, she still here & she still for some reason makes me happy. Idk if I should be thankful or what to feel at the moment but this girl really got my heart.
I've been doing this for over 2 months.... now I'm getting the "why cant we talk like 2 adults and be friends convo... but not wanting to reconcile texts"
It absolutely sucks. I have been separated with my wife since I returned from basic training BCT. Same night I came back from Missouri and Texas BCT/AIT, I and my wife were having disagreements. I'm at fault as well as her but for whatever reason, she doesn't own her part. Long story short, I flew back home at 9pm and was kicked out 10.30pm same night. I was out there with my ruck sacks and duffle bags as heavy as hell trying to get me a hotel. I do miss her and no day goes by I don't think about her. It's been 5months and counting. It was a horrible emotional period I had to deal with. But today I'm strong and happy.
5 weeks no contact, he came back strong. Although I pretty much dumped him and went no contact for bad behaviors on his part that he was not changing. This is absolutely his last chance.
But up to Coach Lee, his advice are sound. I took his advice and got my ex-wife back. She did the same BS. I filed for divorce and gave her back to the streets! I'm my experience, a cheater will always cheat. Don't let them take your kindness for a weakness. If you are a good person, someone better will come into your life a appreciate your value. Never be a door mat. Take care everyone.
But he’s genuine and knows how to treat a person and can teach them how to treat eachother right if there’s ever a situation that is getting out of hand he would say something like hey this is getting a little out of hand how about i leave for the night and when you cool off contact me. He’s smart and knows how to make things work not fail plus he wouldn’t attract a person that has 1 million red flags in the begging like most people do. For example a very pretty womens face/body will distract u from seeing or understanding the red flags in the begging by the man saying but she’s so beautiful she’s worth it I’ll never find another beautiful women like her so guys will tolerate and push the red flags to the side in the begging until 6 months to a year later the guys full throttle in love and women’s running all over the guy and the guys like I can’t leave her I love her so much though and boom she discards him. Look at the red flags in the begging those r the main signs of how a person will act always.
Me too, my ex found a new boyfriend 3 months after our break up, maybe even earlier ( we were 5 years together ) and bum I lost all my interest in her comletely, never want her back again.
I broke up with my ex for cheating. I went back to see him 5yrs later as the woman he cheated with he loved her before. First visit went well second visit woman kept calling he didnt tell me about her. He laughs and says shes trying to keep us from having sex. I told him no worries we arent and I'm leaving. Not sure who he was trying to make jealous but that hurt
I was so done with her game and even confronted her. I did everything she asked me to do and still gave me the emotional roller coaster. Finally, I said good luck to u, goodbye. Best decision ever.
Hello dear I can recommend you to the same powerful Dr who helped me get my love back to me with permanent love with more love and commitment... He can help you and bless your relationship perfectly
keep healing yourself and making yourself whole again. In the beginning the pain is intense and it seems like the hurt wont stop and wont go away, but just keep healing and give yourself time. Focus on yourself, things you like to do, hobbies, friends, activities. Persevere, and i promise you, you will get yourself back and move on.
Simply we and no ex were born as twins, as Bob Marley says good friends we had good friends we lost along the way. We enjoy people while heartedly when we are in love and don't when we split. Let them go the game is conquering someone new and the cycle continues
Always consider the "mutual friend" as a publicist to send the message you want your ex to hear... Tell them something like, "I was a bit sad and I missed them but now I'm in a good place and have some dates lined up and my business is kicking ass etc.." works like a charm....
Im in love with Jesus now. The ex can go do his nasty things. God hardened my heart against fake friendship. Love. It was NEVER real. Real to me. A game to him
Sometimes friends can be the worst- some have very good intentions, some not, but they often blindly support one side or the other. That isn't beneficial to anyone. True friends will push you to think about the situation in a more holistic and honest way.
Depends on the story the Dumpster is telling the friends or family. One thing I learned they will either lie about or exgeratte the relationship issues. The dumpster wants to look like an angel 😇 while you the villain. Friends of there's an family will ofcourse side with them even if they know the wrong.
Coach lee, your work is honestly the best advice I've ever heard. I started no contact until I bumped into her, she ran up to me and told me she wants to still marry me, and I fell Into a state where I started checking up on her every 2, 3 weeks with hour phone calls. Found out the truth of why she left me, she was getting forced by one of her parent, I should of listened and disappeared and stayed in no contact, she lead me on hours hanging out, then she disappeared, and now she's speaking to someone else, if someone leaves you, for a stupid reasons, and decide to hurt you, walk away with dignity.
That was beyond cruel of her Notorious. I bet she was just using you for validation, all the while seeing other people. These females can be brutal. I hope you are doing well. Stay strong.
Wouldn’t want the manipulating toxic game playing ex back. So over Lame Ducks. I deserve a balanced healthy relationship, otherwise I’m good on my own. Loving myself! 😊
Thanks coach Lee... its been just 1 month now and im over my ex..!!! Never expected someone from youtube would help me get through this phase and so quick!!!
Same happened with me after watching videos. I moved on , like I don't want them anymore and I don't see them as future wife ,and also my heart don't squeezes for her. But sometimes I feel lonely and I check her many times without get butt hurt for a reason(see how my love impacted for this kind of dumper). I don't want her anymore. But if it is about sex, then I am super interested. She has been with rebound for 1 month(same timing of my break up). They recently had sex, and told her friend that she can make both of us in contest for sex fight(timing). I mean she compares her bf with me. Because I was good at it. She had sex on her birthday 2023. I didn't wished her. After 2 days later she unblocked my messenger, but after that day she deleted my previous message with me( probably don't want to get hurt for memory/her new bf can check). But it gives me a sign that she used to see our chat history which was her previous behaviour too, because why she has to come down to delete those message or unblock me before that. After doing this two works . She still keep me unblock.
When your love MARRY or have SEX with someone else..it's "GAME OVER" it will NEVER be the same.. It's important to maintain SELF RESPECT an move on..Thank you for sharing.💚
Love from women to men is really only sexual desire. Because a woman can “love”(supposedly) but still be impregnated(or have sex) with another man which is a failed reproductive strategy for males. Edit: not only sexual desire but the love can only spring from that.
Yes it is and I'm a bit confused on the NC rule. An article on Brain Sharper (March 2020) had a section "When Not To Use No Contact" and it quotes Coach Lee as saying, "While many other dating coaches say the no contact rule should be permanent, coach Lee believes there is a time limit. He says, “45 days if the relationship was up to 6 months. After a year it’s somewhere around a month and a half. And beyond that, it’s 2 months or more.”" The article also states, "Lee admits that chances of reconciliation after a break-up are slim once three months have passed." This is where my confusion hangs... Is NC supposed to be absolutely permanent or should we follow what you state in the article and reach out after a certain period of time? It seems as though that if we keep NC for 3 months or more then reconciliation is slim to none so perhaps permanent NC isn't the best solution.
@@ctgeorgia Interesting..I'm going to read that article. I've listen to most of Coach Lee's videos, I too walk away with confusion. It's been 7mos since my break up, during that time we were communicating but not in the right way. It was more of blaming one another...she's been in two relationships now and I'm super confused on that but that another story. I'm going to try my hardest with this NC for the next month, we'll see... Thanks for the feedback!
@@SISTAG-wb6bh Conceptually the NC rule makes sense to me. They left you and in reality you shouldn't chase them as it does make you look weak. I've been the dumper before and when the girl begs, grovels, cries and calls/texts every other minute it just pushed me further away. So, the NC concept makes sense. However, how long do you hold out on NC? Is it a permanent thing or do you wait like his article says...45 days if the relationship was 6 mo's, etc. In the end, there's no silver bullet. I got dumped 24 hours ago via text by my now ex and I've barely slept or eaten...just looking for pearls of wisdom on the internet. I wish you luck my friend. It is a horrific feeling...just crushing.
@@ctgeorgia I feel your pain. I now see that begging is not the answer and you're absolutely right, it does make me appear weak and shows her that she has the upper hand. I hope things can turn around for you. One day at a Time! Let all the emotions out. Know that you will be better in the end.. This to shall pass!
She tried all these and I finally have closure as she wanted. Kicker she trying to make me reach out to her; her way of making overthink something to trigger me. I disguised my frustration in joy but I'm happy for myself and that's what matters
I am in no contact with him for more than 2 years after he has rejected me. I am strong before watching ur video. Thank God & myself for being strong mentally & emotionally 🙏🏻
Well! 1. Games is your first failure, 2. You ex for a reason and 3. I'm taken buy a beautiful Queen! 4. They created the distance 🤷 moving on to happier times! 😊❤
These videos really help. I've seen her do pretty much all of this, even after I made mistakes before learning no contact and the rest. I didn't think I'd hit that spot, but now I'm still up for the idea of reconciling but standing on my own two feet more and more.
@@gagsjjmomom9014 She put herself back in my orbit, but put the walls up hard pretty quickly again. There was behaviour I found disrespectful which we actually had a healthy talk about, but soon after the ghosting started again and the white lies started building up. So I left a door open for her to contact me on my terms and took myself out of our old social group. Life is getting more peaceful, slowly.
Whatever went wrong with the day that it was OK to love and feel attraction for someone without it appearing as needy or unattractive? We are living in some evil times.
I’m on 6.5 weeks of no contact, I feel so much better than I used too, idek if I want my ex back, there are up and down times during no contact but just keep strong
I been in no contact since February 24th and this shit still fuckin wit me i went out to a club today I had a couple of females checking me out but I wasn't feeling it so I left and came home
My takeaway is how to behave after a break up with dignity and self respect. Trying to force it is manipulation and control , let it go and be mature, let time do it’s thing.
Hi Lee, I responded to a few of these people, but you really cracked me up when you said "they DELIBERATLY try to get you jealous by taking a picture with someone else, having your hand on their leg" whatever you're doing to another person. That's a crock! That excuse goes way back. Everything you say are things that go on everyday, but who the heck would buy that? You are such an inspiration to these people, and they do love you. You have helped sooo many of us. Keep up the GREAT work. Love you..❤️
Thanks for keeping me calm during my break up, I made a lot of these mistakes but now I'm embracing no contact and hopefull she comes back and if not I hope to move on peacefully. You've helped
Prior to me beginning NC, I whole heartedly apologized for my negative behavior, from the bottom of my heart. Not only to tell her the honest truth, but to also set me free from guilt. I meant it. She replied within 24hrs saying " I don't know if you wanted me to respond or not. I appreciate your words and thank you for sharing them." I replied within 24hrs saying "I hadn't put any expectations on you responding to my message , but I do welcome and appreciate it." What do you folks think?? Was my reply okay?!?!?
Exes are not worth going back to . My ex of 20 yrs with 2 great young adults 👩 children. Left him for good, he regretted big time. I gave him what he asked for. And simply walked away, God has blessed me in many ways, I’m single and learning still 😂 coach Lee is the best and very likeable 🥰🤗
My ex was resentful for quite a few months leading up to the break up. His behaviour changed and he was unpleasant at times yet still caring at other times. I see now he was pushing me towards ending it so he didn’t feel guilty. He still wants to be friends and yet teases me at times with a hug, a kiss, knowing full well it’s hurting me. It’s hard to do no contact, knowing this could be the end of everything. But his constant early morning messages, the offers of help, is messing with my head. I’d advise anyone to protect yourself. If you’ve broken up then you need to look after yourself. You broke up for a reason.
Thank you Coach Lee! Every video provides motivation to keep going and shows me No Contact is the best thing for me, weather my ex comes back into the picture or not!
@@pamzephaniah7276 OK. But there is something I really want. Someone much better than my ex. Who will make me a better person. Amen. I'll Watsapp him for that
@@pamzephaniah7276 thanks Pam. Im very grateful. I don't want my ex back. I just want him happy. I know that I have done so well for him and I pray he gets someone he deserves that could be better than me. Also is this person you ask me to Watsapp is he a good person. If he is then you can send me his phone number so I can send him a direct message or kindly ask him to DM me. Please. Kindly
I was totally heartbroken when he told me he wanted to leave me . He blamed me for not loving and appreciating him. I cried and pleaded and begged but he was stunned and did not listen. Then he angrily warned me not to interfere or make any problems in his coming new relationship with someone . This warning made me stun and so as soon as I knew that he was with another girl I disconnected everything with him. Luckily I found your inspiring videos which made me stronger and more resilient . Thank you very much for your great advices. This happened 2 years ago. After I applied the No Contact Rule he came and expressed his deep regret for leaving me. He told me that he chose that other person out of anger and anxiety. But I politely advised him to stick with her because she accepted him and if he would leave her , she would be heartbroken like me. I could see the pain in his eyes because I think he doesn't love her.
Year and a half for me I told her she has to earn my attention and I meant it. She never hits me back fine means she's too low interest and I don't want that.
Hey guys if your feeling down on nc then keep pushing yourself!!! Me and my ex were together for 5 years and 2 years of engagement and she lost feelings and fell out of love with me... and she broke up with me.. but I’m at day 25 of nc and she reached out with a simple text but the conversation was dead after a few minutes! Keep on striving! 👍🏾
Dude I'm going through it frfr this woman did me bad fellas it's been 60days since I broke it off with her February she sent me a mean ass message on Instagram it was very mean itbwas about me. not responding to her kids phone calls but I changed my number soo I did that soo I won't get calls but she don't know i changed my number because if she did she would've said something about that she was stalking my Instagram page butvwe not friends so I disabled my Instagram account ut she never took me off her Netflix or Hulu account
@@sarahdoe8512 she cheated on me she ghosted me i did everything she asked of me I put a ring on her finger bout too close on a house and you go cheat on me
6 months has passed and doing no contact and my ex is showing these signs. 1. Wants to be friends asap 2. Gets angry at you for no valid reason 3. Want to make you jealous by showing off the rebound and posted it online 4. Ex wants all their stuff. (And i did returned everything but my stuff is still in my ex’s house) Oh, i get the perfect signs Coach Lee said in this video. Lol!
.... .+:1:(:8:1:8:):8:5:6:1:7: 6:8:whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
I've made huge mistake of texting for a week after the breakup before I found this channel. Hope I haven't ruined my chances. He still has some of my things, so can't fully commit to no contact in a way. He still has photos of us on social media, hanging in his house, etc... Hoping that means he'll want to try again
Ashley phillips no you have not ruined your chances,since a week would be too early,amd no contact is not sorely to get them back but to focus on a better you,after i went nc ghost,my ex started to post up subliminal messages on fb i pay it no mind when the realise you can move on is when the will chase.
Seriously, focus on yourself and your own growth. I've been separated from my wife 8 months and I just started doing this a few months ago and wish I did it sooner. I did this, am doing this. I've been busy, hanging out, just trying really hard not to think about it and accept the situation as is. Things have been going well, learned a lot about myself. Had lots of women approach me. The more I learn about myself in a way, the more I've learned about her. It really does help
I had a mutual friend tell me “he has another new one”. I responded with “who, oh him”. I let this person know that I met a nice person myself. That was the end of this discussion.
Hey Coach, My EX was a jerk . He had his mother call me to invite me over told me her son would not mind if I came over. I was mildly curious I made the mistake of going there and what do I find my EX who came out with a big smile on his face. He said hello I said hello and then I see this girl walking up behind him. Not smiling . They were wearing matching outfits . No mother in sight. I was ambushed big time Coach . I said nothing and left quietly. This was my mistake for keeping contact with his mother a few months after the break up. I showed no emotion... I wanted to laugh the two of them looked ridiculous.
Yeah, you really dodged a bullet. It's a blessing you aren't in a relationship with that person. That's about as juvenile and heartless as a human can be. The mom is trash too.
@@coopermckillop8981 I was in a relationship with him and he was very abusive I was very young at the time. This was after we broke up. It was a mistake that I regret to this day.
You handled it with grace and maturity He acted like a jerk He might have had a good laugh at the time , but if he ever grows up he’ll realize what a douche he was
you should do a video about people being a bad influence on the dumper. for example, i have a feeling that my friends could be talking bad about the relationship and trying to give them advice on moving on and what not even though they don’t understand the situation and it makes it harder for us to get closer
@@newoaknl i made the mistake of talking to mutual friends about it and one in particular could be influencing him into not dating me again and it kinda sucks
@@tooseccformyshirt7264 .. especially women do that amongst themselves (sabotage). So they "manipulate" themselves in. How many times didn't you see, yeah he was a mutual friend but now, we "fell in love and we couldn't help it - it just happened..."
@@newoaknl 100%. my ex is male and all our mutual friends are male and i’m close with a couple of them and i’ll admit i did talk to some of them and one in particular is always pushing me to move on and i have a strong feeling that he’s been talking to my ex about it and even though my ex is moving in the right direction, i think the influence that my friend has is holding him back a little bit
I agree with most of the points, but I disagree there needs to be any false response, my ex wanted to be friends but I told her clearly that I have the feelings for her and want her to be happy but I can’t continue to be a friend and be available for her as I’m emotionally invested. I told her that I leave her with love and light and focus on detaching completely with her. I felt much lighter and think this helps me heal.
Literally the day after our break-up, my ex still wanted to be in contact but I knew that would've been a mistake. I just told her I would not stop her decision of splitting up if that's what she truly wanted. The next day, we crossed each other in the hallways at work & she said "Hi" to me. I was shocked seeing her in my presence it took me a while to process the moment and formulate anything in my mind. I didn't have the capacity to utter back anything to her, so I just passed by - and I've been beating myself over that ever since. The last I ever wanted to do is come across as being petty or bitter in her eyes. Now when we come across each other, we just out-right ignore one-another. I've been considering just waving hi at her, but I can't even stomach doing that without feeling she wants absolutely nothing to do with me now.
Haha! The 'Jealousy Bait' is a good one. I'll post other pics on social media of other new ppl - however exes - plz don't ever contact me back bcz I don't need you🤣
Just saw my ex for the first time in almost 6 months. It was at an AA meeting and we were sitting with two people in between us. We said nothing and she took off right after. I mean it was awkward and I couldn’t stop thinking about her the whole time. I know she must have been thinking of me . We were engaged. I’m pretty sure she is dating someone too. She was like a few weeks after . I am just missing her like crazy again and I know I can’t do anything about it , but keep growing and not reach out. Just hurts .
Thank you Coach Lee. Your videos are insightful as always. My ex blind sided me with the breakup four weeks ago and your videos have been helping me cope with my anxiety every night. I've been in NC for over 11 days now and she texted to wish me happy new year just a night ago and then nothing else. I responded casually and politely, mirroring her messages. Now I wait..
You have to change the name of the title of the video to : how to recognize a CONTROLLING “ relationship “ . There are great videos on coercive control .Or “ mind games “ played by an abusive person .
I wouldn't pay no mind they did it to you once they will probably do it again here is what I've learned take the time you put into them and take that time and energy and put into yourself if it's meant to be it will be just focus on yourself deleting them on all social media don't check up on them don't talk to them with friends you just do you move forward
I honestly wish my ex and I would get back together and work things out we been doing the no contract rule almost 2 months and now she recently started reaching out thru texting and coming by my house while I wasn't home claiming she forgot some of her stuff. After 2 months and texting me out of the blue I think she's to stubborn to admit she's guilty and ashamed how she did me to face me or call me on the phone instead of texting.
Don't listen to the charlatans promising you results, they are all fake. Believe in yourself, and keep your frame. Love yourself unconditionally, and work on being the best version of you, not for your ex, but for yourself.
I was talking to a dentist for purposes of marriage. I am a doctor. She didn’t want to compromise her career for family responsibilities/traditional role of a wife. After a few discussions she said it was ok if we split bills and home/family responsibilities. I finally met her after 4 months when I traveled to her state and 2 of her cousins and a male guardian were there at the meeting. We are religious Muslims and we are pretty conservative in how we meet and interact before marriage. I was originally promised the meeting would be nothing more than an informal gathering and meeting in person. When I arrived, I was character assassinated by her 2 female cousins for having an agreement to share bills. “That’s the man’s responsibility.” The woman later had her opinion swayed by her cousins and said she will not pay any bills but still wants to work full time. She also wanted six figure US dollars mahr (Islamic dowry) and a minimum 3 carat diamond ring. She got super emotional when I wouldn’t bend to her entitled ways and she dumped me.
If a guy wants to make me jealous by showing up with another girl he will actually repel me. That would make me move on immediately . I would thank him & the universe for that
I'm over it and thanks to her im a completely different guy now the first sign of a lie or inconsistency I walk away from anyone or any type of relationship from friendship or family 🤷🏾♂️
@@RealCoachLee Yes, the person loses respect for you and thinks okay what they did and will end up doing it again. Why deal with the drama, unless that what you like! In that case, your the bone head! Get my drift?
Unless the person realizes their mistake, sees that you are strong enough to stay away, and goes forward changed. No one is perfect and people can learn from their mistakes. I see it all the time. Heck, my own parents broke up before getting back together and getting married. It happens all the time.
Am totally healed and have no time for him...thank you coach for your great advice .went No conduct for two months ,was very disciplined then boom he is showing up. i have no interest
I’ve done this!! He’s so right! Lmao!! 😂🤷🏼♀️
@@RDJ214 she is a woman, of course it was for validation
@@RDJ214 said he he would be there to get his stuff out
@@lukemei5ter I just told my ex today we forgot about how good our friendship was and I’d like to get that in place again as well smh . I know I have things I need to work on for me and I will do that for me ....
I want my ex back
@@RDJ214 Nope I was seeing someone else at the time so no. I was friendly with the mother and looking back on that it was a mistake. I was very young at that time 16 so......
The irony is that making me jealous by being with someone else will only repel me, not attract me.
Yeah that tends to blow up in their faces. It's a gamble not worth taking, for what low LOW odds you have that it would work.
Yes that worked the opposite for me and he laughed about it. I felt he was using me to make her jealous but if not it hurt so bad that I though if he cares for me how can he intentionally hurt me like this
@@reginawoess4928 I'm sorry this happened to you, but someone that really loves you wouldn't try and hurt you. Sometimes god will move people from your life to make room for the right people to come into your life.
@@reginawoess4928 Cheating is a sign that the person is feeling ignored and lonely. The thing is, it might be their own fault, for ignoring his girl. He mighta forgotten that the chase never ends and she herself might be feeling really ignored and women need to feel safe and understood or their legs close. So on the one hand, he makes her feel unsafe and unheard, and then the end result, if he is unaware/uneducated, or is a serial cheater, is that he will try to use another woman to break through to his wife....
Maybe that's why the best way to get a woman who loves you back is to realize the signs of toxic narcissism on your part in your relationship and take action to show her you are moving forward in life without those narcissistic tendencies. Love can change people for the better.
@@thevapingauditfrog2387 cheating is a sign of selfishness and lack of empathy on hurting others you will not change a Narcissistic personality person people shouldn't even try you run from them it's no one's job to fix other people and no excuses for cheating 💯
Let’s still be friends is: ‘I want to avoid any guilt of hurting you and any sense of loss’.
- don’t do it.
Truth
Yup
I actually get kind of insulted whenever an ex or someone asks to be friends. My response to that is not nice either.
Yes, you're right you ex says let's be friend's they broke up with you so why let them have some kind of hold or power over you, they chose to end the relationship shouldn't let them have no hold over you your not a puppet for them to want you when they want you or click their fingers and you come running to them, they either still want to be with you or not with you.
I fell for this and of course, I'm suffering double now because of it. Never again! I learned my lesson lol.
I love how nobody wants their exes back but everyone clicked on this video lol
Lmao so true! I looked up what to do of your ex contacts you. This popped up.but I hope he leaves me alone. Curiosity got me
@@nativechique7589 lmao ikr I actually still love my ex and we are trying to work it out ! But I’ve definitely use to watch stuff like this for ex’s I didn’t really want back just wanted to see them beg lol petty I know
they’re curious people and i want to know more so i don’t fall for it again.
🤣🤣🤣
@@droppinggemies ive had moments where i just want a dm so i can leave him on read, cuz he left me unread lol he won lmao dammit
Stay off social media when you’re going through ANYTHING traumatic. You don’t deserve the toxicity.
@conservativebar, I absolutely agree about social media. If you are going to be HURT watching and/or reading about how well they are, how HAPPY they are, STAY OFF!
Good Advice anytime. I hate S.M. its all a bunch of staged pics of lies about how great miserable people are doing....it's True.
This one needs to be pinned..So true
He unfriended me after a month of no contact. And I LAUGHED. It’s fine! I’m not playing a game. I’m just moving on. I’m such a different person now, I deserve someone who didn’t throw away a future with me.
@@ashimiyuridwan6137 if you don't mine asking?
Mine unblocked me after eight months of no contact, so I blocked him and sent receipts to all my little friends
Translation: "I found a betterdeal"
😉✌
@@osenisakiru4436 absolutely not, I don't ever wanna hear from my ex again
@@ashimiyuridwan6137 Recommend me back to my boyfriend
If you ex loved you and left you. Usually at the beginning of the breakup you the one in pain but later you usually in control of the breakup. They will live with guilt for a long time. Just work on yourself….Become selfish. No waisting time
@@klordcathan802 really?
@@moumitachatterjee3338 yes its true, it happened with my female bestfriends, not one but two of them..both realized that they did wrong by leaving their boyfriends and they got back together and today I'm also left alone by my gf and Ik she gonna regret it someday🙂 and mainly I'll focus on myself to get better in every angle so that she urges to get back with me..cause I lost my self respect for her..
Absolutely true!!!!
❤❤❤❤
Indeeeedddddddddddddddd
If they leave you, you’re better off without them! Trust me! When I cut off contact with my ex, I realized he was the one holding me back from achieving everything!! Him leaving…it legit was the BEST thing that ever happened to me! Love yourself enough to know if someone leaves you high and dry, you definitely deserve BETTER!!!!
YES!!!
Cant blame people, places or things
That's not necessarily true. Lots of times, both people need to grow into better partners before being able to be together longterm.
True❤
One of the biggest lessons I learned here is to NOT TALK TO THE MUTUAL FRIENDS. Coach Lee is right, they really never help.
You are true
Infact they are instigating him....
I have learned do not talk to friends at all not only mutual friends about your relationship or break up. Keep you dignity and heads up and talk to family members like sister or mum only.
Very right as talking to friend's is never a good idea at all, as talking to them isn't good
How do you stop that, when they reach out to you...not the mutual friend but their family members???
These mind games are one of the reasons why I have developed the urgency to just stay in no contact.
Same
Trying to make me jealous by showing me they're with another man would be the final closure for me. Done.
I agree I will walk away! I will never chase…
Me too done done
15 days out , i almost reached out today, but i was strong enough i didnt even tho i miss her. Be strong brothers and sisters ❤️
For sure
Keep going my bro
I did after 2 weeks 🤪
my ex posted a pic of her holding hands with another man, she contacted me two weeks later saying she missed me, move on baby girl, I don't like leftovers. it does get better...
I reached out yesterday after a week. He wanted me not to go to work and fly from Colorado to Florida to go see him for Valentine Day. He didn’t want to spend Christmas together but then why Valentines Day? I’ve lost a lot of money dealing with this man. He moved back home for work. All he did was complain about my job and wanted me to quit. I never would because he wasn’t willing to pay my bills or could. That’s his excuse for moving away, because I wouldn’t change my job, why should he.
I’ve fallen out of love with my ex, and in love with Coach Lee. 😻 I’d say no contact definitely works 🤣😂
Hahaha 😅🤣😅😀
That's his goal... Lee wants to have access to as many single women as possible...
We’ve tried, he doesn’t want us sis. 😩😩😩
Wow coach Lee is a lucky guy!
@@onelife5302 .. Definitely. He can "have some bedroom action" with them all ...
I don't want any of my ex's back I just love listening to Coach Lee 😍
@Johnathan Greay Amen!
+2349155456138⏯⏯⏯⏯ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up........
How many exes do you have?
@Johnathan Greay I can now see why you've had so many. I also know, they weren't the problem...Good luck at even being happy. At least my moms was happy while you stay struggling looking for it.
@Johnathan Greay it was a simple question that your feeble mind took offense to, that gives me all I need. Try to stay well...ta ta!
Thank you!
1:20 1. The Friendship Pitch - it's a game if it's pitched a few weeks after the breakup. They don't want you too far away that they can't get you back.
4:25 - you don't want to be the jerk so you treat them like a confident person.
5:28 - 2. They are mad at you bc you didn't contact them. The mature response is to back off & give them what they want. However, you can respond & say "I've been busy. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I hope you're doing well." Don't explain to them that not contacting with them is normal for people who break up. Don't ignore them. 7:50
8:52 3. The Jealousy Bait. They want you to see them with somebody else to make you reach out & beg for them back. They're using you for an ego boost.
11:10 Don't tell mutual friends about how you miss them, the breakup, you want them back, how you're struggling, etc. They may retell your anxieties, struggles, issues, etc to your ex.
14:20 4. The "Are You Ok?" game -they want you to ask them back or show you're still interested. Answer with "I'm ok". Don't chase or demonstrate that you want them back.
16:10 5. Stuff Status - they want to have an excuse later to get their stuff & see you. Don't make a big deal about it. Be casual & show you're fine. Be casual.
Salute bro for this
Thanks for the Cliff's Notes👍👍🤣🤣🤣
@@amstarla Sometimes I hope Cliff is cool with everyone borrowing his notes.
My ex was angry at me that I haven't contact her in 2 months but once I did she told me that she wanted to be friends and that her feelings have changed. So I am very but very confuse. I am not sure what to do
@@MsSolipsismoGo no contact
Talking to your ex does not get them back. Unfortunately, I found all of these videos after my outrageous responses. I know now that if someone breaks up with me, just say “Ok.” Zero work or effort after that. Fortunately, after over a year I am feeling much better but it took me a while to reach emotional neutrality. Whatever video or advice he followed, he did it to the letter. Lolol. He is the absolute king of no contact. And finally, I appreciate it, I deserve better. And I am excited about all the knowledge and empowerment I have gained since then.
This is why its so important to understand relationships and how they work. Because when you do, you really don't bother with games your ex plays, their silence, or whatever they are doing because you are too busy moving on and not worried about all this. Being worried about what your ex is doing and their games is how you stay stuck going backwards. Good topic here, because these are the games ex's can play.
Yet here you are
And they do
My own boyfriend goes me and blocks me. After he breaks up with me for 3 days😮 So immature playing games at fifty three years old he is... Am I dodging a bullet? I hate to love the bullet❤
Goodness. To be honest at this point I just want a true genuine love. I don't like these stupid games and lack of communication anymore. I just want to say what I want to say. I hate having to talk to somebody feeling like I have to question everything they say cause it's always mixed with these useless games. I'm tired and I just want a pure harmless Love. :(
No one;
Me: *coping with post-breakup anxiety at 1am by listening to Coach Lee's late-night-DJ-like voice saying "you're going to get through this either way"*
then when u wake up u turn him right back on 😝😝😝
Same it’s 5 am now
Keep going .its gets better. Take care ❤
The fact that this is me currently lol
I’m watching this at 1:30am because my ex texted me earlier with an I love you text. It’s been less than 3 weeks of no contact so far, but I’m starting to think not being with him is not the end of the world after all.
No contact works. I haven’t been speaking to my ex for three weeks I gave her space. She texted me today about picking up her stuff and then she got into how mad she was that I never contacted her.We started the conversation of reconciliation today.
exactly that's happened to me, she texted me today about picking up her stuff later this week but than tell me that she's not ready for that...
Been in NC for 5 days and she been blowing my shit up and then asks me out while I was sleeping then 30 mins later asks for her stuff then insults me 45 mins later 😂😂😂😂😭
After 2 years, what's the update?
Don't let people treat you like a game. If you take them back after this they won't respect you. Once a breakup happens, 99% of the time that relationship belongs in the past.
Or, if you can learn from it and let the negativity and pain that each caused go, it can be a great relationship builder. Depending on how long/strong the relationship is. People are to quick to jump ship at any sign of trouble. Working thru and learning together is key. IMO
Not necessarily true. My boyfriend and I broke up a few years ago, and we got back together and it's been great ever since.
This is 1000% true. I took her back 5 times in 5 years and the disrespect was insane. She never changed. It ended the exact same way the last 2 times. I learned self respect and bounderies are more important than love.
@@osenisakiru4436 Con artist
BS
I'm in love with my grind. It always makes me happy and improves my life. No time for games, only improvement.
EXACTLY!!!
You're in love with your grind? Please explain "grind", I have never heard this term, but to "grind" up coffee beans, to grind up food mainly. if you don't mind, fill me in on your meaning please.
I don't intend on staying single for long
@@juliahash5038 grind refers to repetitively doing the same thing over and over. In my case it means working for three years straight 70 to 80 hours a week not one single call-in even on days I had zero sleep. The obsessive and relentless pursuit to reach a goal no matter the price.
@@dosesandmimoses well that's a good intention
So glad I remembered this video today, Lee. After 55 days of No Contact, my BPD ex sent me a friend request on Facebook 5 days ago. Then, yesterday, she posts a picture with another guy. In the past, I would have lost emotional control. Now, I understand and stay strong. Thank you!
Yeah tread carefully if they're personality disordered. She'll absolutely want to get you locked into a push pull cycle, and will eventually fully discard you anyway. Zero contact is the only way forward. She will not be happy with this new person and until she gets into long term consistent therapy, will continue to do this to anyone she's romantically involved with. These relationships are far more common than people think, and don't work the same as normal breakups.
Great for not falling for the desperation trap. She’s an attention (bleep).
@@bjb2309Truth
I ghosted my ex when I found out he had me in a third party relationship, block him on everything and told him I moved, been working on myself as loving me and healing myself, peace of mind feels so good and doing better single, I'm no option to no man.
Same here. He’s hella pissed and that woman blocked him too after our breakup. Serves him right 🙄
My ex always said things like 'if we weren't lovers, we'd definitely be friends' ... as if she knew. The ironic part is that weeks down the line of splitting up, she offered me friendship and I basically said "thanks, but no thanks" ... now we haven't spoken at all for over a month
thats the right thing to do. if its meant to be she will be back at some point and hopefully she has changed as much as you have
Can you tell me what happened with you ? Did she contact you back ?
I am in the same situation as you.
What i discovered is that she lost interest in me and she was already speaking with other guys thats why she offered to be just friends.
@@Maxi-xt8qv sounds like she wasnt attached to you. someone that is attached doesn't care about other guys no matter how attractive they may be
Still nothing I'm afraid. It's been many months and I have no idea what she's doing and she knows nothing of what I'm doing. We're not connected in any way. Was considering contacting her again, since I have nothing to lose
@@MarshallSmith27 it's really complicated. For 3 years we were always together 24/7 but 15 months ago I find a new job outside my country and i couldn't stay in contact with her all the time, that's why she lost interest in my opinion. And she's the type that likes attention all the time.
The one hard thing I have learned in many years of dating is that as soon as someone starts messing you around, saying its over or whatever, then that is it - drop them. Take them at their word. That is it. It is over. And if they did not mean it, then maybe the next time with their next partner, they won't play this game.
Message or call
Agree
Alan, good for you. Don't take her back. She sounds like she wants to "play around." Let her go..
I wouldn't say that's a hard rule. Specific curcumstance are always different and nuanced.
You need to get your SELF back. If you do that, your ex will probably want you. But ironically, you won’t want them...
I wish all of you the best, whatever that outcome is for your life.
@@PaulMcMinotaur lmao facts
Crazy how the no contact rule really worked for me, although a lot has changed & it’s not the same trust we once had, she still here & she still for some reason makes me happy. Idk if I should be thankful or what to feel at the moment but this girl really got my heart.
How long were you in no contact?
how long was the NC?
@@kagamitaiga9167 no contact is not one rule , its a set of rules invented by Prof. Sam Vaknin and since you bothtalk again , nothing worked.
Dont try to make any one else feel good... focus on you... make yourself feel good!
@@olkgdsajb1458 wow get a life°
It's so nice to know I am NOT the only one going through this shitty time in my life 💖
❤BE STRONG EVERYONE!❤
I've been doing this for over 2 months.... now I'm getting the "why cant we talk like 2 adults and be friends convo... but not wanting to reconcile texts"
@@emilyslife8010 be strong Girl! You are precious - remember that!
Update, girl. Tell us :)
It absolutely sucks. I have been separated with my wife since I returned from basic training BCT. Same night I came back from Missouri and Texas BCT/AIT, I and my wife were having disagreements. I'm at fault as well as her but for whatever reason, she doesn't own her part. Long story short, I flew back home at 9pm and was kicked out 10.30pm same night.
I was out there with my ruck sacks and duffle bags as heavy as hell trying to get me a hotel.
I do miss her and no day goes by I don't think about her. It's been 5months and counting.
It was a horrible emotional period I had to deal with. But today I'm strong and happy.
5 weeks no contact, he came back strong. Although I pretty much dumped him and went no contact for bad behaviors on his part that he was not changing. This is absolutely his last chance.
That means you were the one that initiated the break up?
How is it now?
But up to Coach Lee, his advice are sound. I took his advice and got my ex-wife back. She did the same BS. I filed for divorce and gave her back to the streets! I'm my experience, a cheater will always cheat. Don't let them take your kindness for a weakness. If you are a good person, someone better will come into your life a appreciate your value. Never be a door mat. Take care everyone.
Coach lee is a tough one to be in a relationship with, 😂😂😂imagine dude knows all the tricks....
🤣🤣🤣
But he’s genuine and knows how to treat a person and can teach them how to treat eachother right if there’s ever a situation that is getting out of hand he would say something like hey this is getting a little out of hand how about i leave for the night and when you cool off contact me. He’s smart and knows how to make things work not fail plus he wouldn’t attract a person that has 1 million red flags in the begging like most people do. For example a very pretty womens face/body will distract u from seeing or understanding the red flags in the begging by the man saying but she’s so beautiful she’s worth it I’ll never find another beautiful women like her so guys will tolerate and push the red flags to the side in the begging until 6 months to a year later the guys full throttle in love and women’s running all over the guy and the guys like I can’t leave her I love her so much though and boom she discards him. Look at the red flags in the begging those r the main signs of how a person will act always.
Pretty soon everyone will know the no contact tactic but at the same time it really does make a difference when you saturate them with your absence.
Lmaoo right
Stay away from people like coach lee 😂😂😂😂😂
The jealousy trick didn’t work on me .. too bad find it disgusting 🤢
Me too, my ex found a new boyfriend 3 months after our break up, maybe even earlier ( we were 5 years together ) and bum I lost all my interest in her comletely, never want her back again.
I broke up with my ex for cheating. I went back to see him 5yrs later as the woman he cheated with he loved her before. First visit went well second visit woman kept calling he didnt tell me about her. He laughs and says shes trying to keep us from having sex. I told him no worries we arent and I'm leaving. Not sure who he was trying to make jealous but that hurt
@@lisamorgans5148 dont want him back
@@reginawoess4928 get away from that drama She should not be having his number anymore .. don’t get hurt anymore it’s total bullshit
Same here, it's immature and it pushes me away further!
I was so done with her game and even confronted her. I did everything she asked me to do and still gave me the emotional roller coaster. Finally, I said good luck to u, goodbye. Best decision ever.
No contact is the best method for Peace!
Since I lost her my new love became the gym. I see her every day, put my blood sweat and tears into that relationship
Hello dear I can recommend you to the same powerful Dr who helped me get my love back to me with permanent love with more love and commitment... He can help you and bless your relationship perfectly
keep healing yourself and making yourself whole again. In the beginning the pain is intense and it seems like the hurt wont stop and wont go away, but just keep healing and give yourself time. Focus on yourself, things you like to do, hobbies, friends, activities. Persevere, and i promise you, you will get yourself back and move on.
Simply we and no ex were born as twins, as Bob Marley says good friends we had good friends we lost along the way. We enjoy people while heartedly when we are in love and don't when we split. Let them go the game is conquering someone new and the cycle continues
Always consider the "mutual friend" as a publicist to send the message you want your ex to hear... Tell them something like, "I was a bit sad and I missed them but now I'm in a good place and have some dates lined up and my business is kicking ass etc.." works like a charm....
Im in love with Jesus now. The ex can go do his nasty things. God hardened my heart against fake friendship. Love. It was NEVER real. Real to me. A game to him
AMENNNNNNNN!!!!!
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏encouraging comment
Turn it over to the lord!!!! He kows the way, trust his love.
not everything is an ultimatum
AMEN ❤🙏❤🙏
Sometimes friends can be the worst- some have very good intentions, some not, but they often blindly support one side or the other. That isn't beneficial to anyone. True friends will push you to think about the situation in a more holistic and honest way.
Depends on the story the Dumpster is telling the friends or family. One thing I learned they will either lie about or exgeratte the relationship issues. The dumpster wants to look like an angel 😇 while you the villain. Friends of there's an family will ofcourse side with them even if they know the wrong.
Don’t worry over situations you cannot change. Accept it and move on.
Coach lee, your work is honestly the best advice I've ever heard. I started no contact until I bumped into her, she ran up to me and told me she wants to still marry me, and I fell Into a state where I started checking up on her every 2, 3 weeks with hour phone calls. Found out the truth of why she left me, she was getting forced by one of her parent, I should of listened and disappeared and stayed in no contact, she lead me on hours hanging out, then she disappeared, and now she's speaking to someone else, if someone leaves you, for a stupid reasons, and decide to hurt you, walk away with dignity.
That was beyond cruel of her Notorious. I bet she was just using you for validation, all the while seeing other people. These females can be brutal. I hope you are doing well. Stay strong.
They don’t want you back, keep moving forward 😂
Some do. Some don’t. An absolute statement can’t be made for all.
Wouldn’t want the manipulating toxic game playing ex back. So over Lame Ducks. I deserve a balanced healthy relationship, otherwise I’m good on my own. Loving myself! 😊
Right there with you
Thanks coach Lee... its been just 1 month now and im over my ex..!!!
Never expected someone from youtube would help me get through this phase and so quick!!!
Same happened with me after watching videos. I moved on , like I don't want them anymore and I don't see them as future wife ,and also my heart don't squeezes for her. But sometimes I feel lonely and I check her many times without get butt hurt for a reason(see how my love impacted for this kind of dumper). I don't want her anymore. But if it is about sex, then I am super interested. She has been with rebound for 1 month(same timing of my break up). They recently had sex, and told her friend that she can make both of us in contest for sex fight(timing). I mean she compares her bf with me. Because I was good at it. She had sex on her birthday 2023. I didn't wished her. After 2 days later she unblocked my messenger, but after that day she deleted my previous message with me( probably don't want to get hurt for memory/her new bf can check). But it gives me a sign that she used to see our chat history which was her previous behaviour too, because why she has to come down to delete those message or unblock me before that. After doing this two works . She still keep me unblock.
When your love MARRY or have SEX with someone else..it's "GAME OVER" it will NEVER be the same.. It's important to maintain SELF RESPECT an move on..Thank you for sharing.💚
Agree
Lol no😂😂 marriage is just a paper. Sex is just an exercise
😊
You know she wants you back when she has you arrested, puts a restraining order on you and stalks you at your house. That’s true love.
Yikes…be careful out there lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That not real love
Another dude is piping her now
Set new goals in life and never look back
Love from women to men is really only sexual desire. Because a woman can “love”(supposedly) but still be impregnated(or have sex) with another man which is a failed reproductive strategy for males.
Edit: not only sexual desire but the love can only spring from that.
Some one was piping her before who cares
There is no one better than coach Lee who explains everything with clarity
He ended up leaving me for the jealousy bait. I think you should just tell people how you really feel. Life is short.
what do you mean the jealousy bait?
it’s so good to know that i am not alone in this kind of situation. thank you coach lee.
Yes most chitters use it,during that time they try 🎠
It's so hard to not contact my ex..
Coach Lee hit this dead on the nail!
Yes it is and I'm a bit confused on the NC rule. An article on Brain Sharper (March 2020) had a section "When Not To Use No Contact" and it quotes Coach Lee as saying, "While many other dating coaches say the no contact rule should be permanent, coach Lee believes there is a time limit. He says, “45 days if the relationship was up to 6 months. After a year it’s somewhere around a month and a half. And beyond that, it’s 2 months or more.”" The article also states, "Lee admits that chances of reconciliation after a break-up are slim once three months have passed." This is where my confusion hangs... Is NC supposed to be absolutely permanent or should we follow what you state in the article and reach out after a certain period of time? It seems as though that if we keep NC for 3 months or more then reconciliation is slim to none so perhaps permanent NC isn't the best solution.
@@ctgeorgia Interesting..I'm going to read that article. I've listen to most of Coach Lee's videos, I too walk away with confusion. It's been 7mos since my break up, during that time we were communicating but not in the right way. It was more of blaming one another...she's been in two relationships now and I'm super confused on that but that another story.
I'm going to try my hardest with this NC for the next month, we'll see...
Thanks for the feedback!
@@SISTAG-wb6bh Conceptually the NC rule makes sense to me. They left you and in reality you shouldn't chase them as it does make you look weak. I've been the dumper before and when the girl begs, grovels, cries and calls/texts every other minute it just pushed me further away. So, the NC concept makes sense. However, how long do you hold out on NC? Is it a permanent thing or do you wait like his article says...45 days if the relationship was 6 mo's, etc. In the end, there's no silver bullet. I got dumped 24 hours ago via text by my now ex and I've barely slept or eaten...just looking for pearls of wisdom on the internet. I wish you luck my friend. It is a horrific feeling...just crushing.
@@ctgeorgia I feel your pain.
I now see that begging is not the answer and you're absolutely right, it does make me appear weak and shows her that she has the upper hand.
I hope things can turn around for you. One day at a Time! Let all the emotions out. Know that you will be better in the end..
This to shall pass!
@@SISTAG-wb6bh how are you?
She tried all these and I finally have closure as she wanted. Kicker she trying to make me reach out to her; her way of making overthink something to trigger me. I disguised my frustration in joy but I'm happy for myself and that's what matters
@@emiliawalter4683 stfu
I am in no contact with him for more than 2 years after he has rejected me. I am strong before watching ur video. Thank God & myself for being strong mentally & emotionally 🙏🏻
Well! 1. Games is your first failure, 2. You ex for a reason and 3. I'm taken buy a beautiful Queen! 4. They created the distance 🤷 moving on to happier times! 😊❤
These videos really help. I've seen her do pretty much all of this, even after I made mistakes before learning no contact and the rest. I didn't think I'd hit that spot, but now I'm still up for the idea of reconciling but standing on my own two feet more and more.
@@gagsjjmomom9014 She put herself back in my orbit, but put the walls up hard pretty quickly again. There was behaviour I found disrespectful which we actually had a healthy talk about, but soon after the ghosting started again and the white lies started building up. So I left a door open for her to contact me on my terms and took myself out of our old social group. Life is getting more peaceful, slowly.
@@energonjunkiei know it's been a year. Hope u moved on
Happily back in the dating game for almost a year 🙂 Having fun and just enjoying being here.
@@energonjunkie good for u !
Whatever went wrong with the day that it was OK to love and feel attraction for someone without it appearing as needy or unattractive? We are living in some evil times.
This hit.
Way to much work and far too many games.
I’m on 6.5 weeks of no contact, I feel so much better than I used too, idek if I want my ex back, there are up and down times during no contact but just keep strong
I been in no contact since February 24th and this shit still fuckin wit me i went out to a club today I had a couple of females checking me out but I wasn't feeling it so I left and came home
I know of a pow-erful spe-l-l ca'ster who he"lp, get my ex back whazzp him on +2( 3 4) 8 1 2 0 7 6 8 2 9 5*
😢@@lukeskywalker313
My takeaway is how to behave after a break up with dignity and self respect. Trying to force it is manipulation and control , let it go and be mature, let time do it’s thing.
The hunter has become the hunted!! ….no contact has turned the tables ..🤣
Hi Lee, I responded to a few of these people, but you really cracked me up when you said "they DELIBERATLY try to get you jealous by taking a picture with someone else, having your hand on their leg" whatever you're doing to another person. That's a crock! That excuse goes way back. Everything you say are things that go on everyday, but who the heck would buy that? You are such an inspiration to these people, and they do love you. You have helped sooo many of us. Keep up the GREAT work. Love you..❤️
It boggles my mind how you don't burst out in laughter at times when saying some of this stuff. 😅 Coach Lee you're the best! ❤
Thanks for keeping me calm during my break up, I made a lot of these mistakes but now I'm embracing no contact and hopefull she comes back and if not I hope to move on peacefully. You've helped
Stay strong. Update us.
Prior to me beginning NC, I whole heartedly apologized for my negative behavior, from the bottom of my heart. Not only to tell her the honest truth, but to also set me free from guilt. I meant it. She replied within 24hrs saying " I don't know if you wanted me to respond or not. I appreciate your words and thank you for sharing them." I replied within 24hrs saying "I hadn't put any expectations on you responding to my message , but I do welcome and appreciate it."
What do you folks think?? Was my reply okay?!?!?
Exes are not worth going back to . My ex of 20 yrs with 2 great young adults 👩 children. Left him for good, he regretted big time. I gave him what he asked for. And simply walked away, God has blessed me in many ways, I’m single and learning still 😂 coach Lee is the best and very likeable 🥰🤗
My ex was resentful for quite a few months leading up to the break up. His behaviour changed and he was unpleasant at times yet still caring at other times. I see now he was pushing me towards ending it so he didn’t feel guilty. He still wants to be friends and yet teases me at times with a hug, a kiss, knowing full well it’s hurting me.
It’s hard to do no contact, knowing this could be the end of everything. But his constant early morning messages, the offers of help, is messing with my head. I’d advise anyone to protect yourself. If you’ve broken up then you need to look after yourself. You broke up for a reason.
Thank you Coach Lee! Every video provides motivation to keep going and shows me No Contact is the best thing for me, weather my ex comes back into the picture or not!
I know of a pow-erful spe-l-l ca'ster who he"lp, get my ex back whazzp him on +2( 3 4) 8 1 2 0 7 6 8 2 9 5,
No skipping Ads for my favorite coach...
I have 4 out of 5 of these signs but I'd never get my hopes up. By the time she makes her mind up I will probably be moved on.
It's better to give them what they want. A blessing in disguise
@@pamzephaniah7276 OK. But there is something I really want. Someone much better than my ex. Who will make me a better person. Amen. I'll Watsapp him for that
@@pamzephaniah7276 thanks Pam. Im very grateful. I don't want my ex back. I just want him happy. I know that I have done so well for him and I pray he gets someone he deserves that could be better than me. Also is this person you ask me to Watsapp is he a good person. If he is then you can send me his phone number so I can send him a direct message or kindly ask him to DM me. Please. Kindly
@@pamzephaniah7276 thanks
@@pamzephaniah7276 I just had the number saved into my phone. Also please I forgot to ask you what the name of the person is.
Is he Nigerian.... And what is his age and location. Please
I was totally heartbroken when he told me he wanted to leave me . He blamed me for not loving and appreciating him. I cried and pleaded and begged but he was stunned and did not listen. Then he angrily warned me not to interfere or make any problems in his coming new relationship with someone . This warning made me stun and so as soon as I knew that he was with another girl I disconnected everything with him. Luckily I found your inspiring videos which made me stronger and more resilient . Thank you very much for your great advices. This happened 2 years ago. After I applied the No Contact Rule he came and expressed his deep regret for leaving me. He told me that he chose that other person out of anger and anxiety. But I politely advised him to stick with her because she accepted him and if he would leave her , she would be heartbroken like me. I could see the pain in his eyes because I think he doesn't love her.
8 months no contact maybe one day I will hear from her if not her loss
Just reach out, 8 months are too much.
If you are the "dumpee" don't reach out
Year and a half for me I told her she has to earn my attention and I meant it. She never hits me back fine means she's too low interest and I don't want that.
Hey guys if your feeling down on nc then keep pushing yourself!!! Me and my ex were together for 5 years and 2 years of engagement and she lost feelings and fell out of love with me... and she broke up with me.. but I’m at day 25 of nc and she reached out with a simple text but the conversation was dead after a few minutes! Keep on striving! 👍🏾
If she’s reaching out she likes you
Play it cool homie. Good luck.
Your luck is better than mines
Dude I'm going through it frfr this woman did me bad fellas it's been 60days since I broke it off with her February she sent me a mean ass message on Instagram it was very mean itbwas about me. not responding to her kids phone calls but I changed my number soo I did that soo I won't get calls but she don't know i changed my number because if she did she would've said something about that she was stalking my Instagram page butvwe not friends so I disabled my Instagram account ut she never took me off her Netflix or Hulu account
@@sarahdoe8512 she cheated on me she ghosted me i did everything she asked of me I put a ring on her finger bout too close on a house and you go cheat on me
6 months has passed and doing no contact and my ex is showing these signs.
1. Wants to be friends asap
2. Gets angry at you for no valid reason
3. Want to make you jealous by showing off the rebound and posted it online
4. Ex wants all their stuff. (And i did returned everything but my stuff is still in my ex’s house)
Oh, i get the perfect signs Coach Lee said in this video. Lol!
😂
I know that my relationship with my ex is most likely done with but watching these videos are helping me a lot regardless of what the outcome will be
Great advice on how to play love games 🖤👌🏼🙄 this sets you up to be strung along! just say no to toxic relationships.... block them, and move tf on.
.... .+:1:(:8:1:8:):8:5:6:1:7: 6:8:whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
I've made huge mistake of texting for a week after the breakup before I found this channel. Hope I haven't ruined my chances. He still has some of my things, so can't fully commit to no contact in a way. He still has photos of us on social media, hanging in his house, etc... Hoping that means he'll want to try again
Ashley phillips no you have not ruined your chances,since a week would be too early,amd no contact is not sorely to get them back but to focus on a better you,after i went nc ghost,my ex started to post up subliminal messages on fb i pay it no mind when the realise you can move on is when the will chase.
Coach Lee just be casual do NOT intiaite contact let him chase you don't give him no attention no matter what you got this
@@westbrooktheory2.098 indeed
Seriously, focus on yourself and your own growth. I've been separated from my wife 8 months and I just started doing this a few months ago and wish I did it sooner.
I did this, am doing this. I've been busy, hanging out, just trying really hard not to think about it and accept the situation as is.
Things have been going well, learned a lot about myself. Had lots of women approach me.
The more I learn about myself in a way, the more I've learned about her. It really does help
No contact is not always the solution, be sure about it before you start applying it, because there it no come back from no contact.
I had a mutual friend tell me “he has another new one”. I responded with “who, oh him”. I let this person know that I met a nice person myself. That was the end of this discussion.
This one was AWESOME! Because 3 of the 5 things I've dealt with are 1,2 & 5. Let's Be Friends, Getting stuff but canceling etc. Thanks coach
Wh atsA p p👆
Hey Coach, My EX was a jerk . He had his mother call me to invite me over told me her son would not mind if I came over. I was mildly curious I made the mistake of going there and what do I find my EX who came out with a big smile on his face. He said hello I said hello and then I see this girl walking up behind him. Not smiling . They were wearing matching outfits . No mother in sight. I was ambushed big time Coach . I said nothing and left quietly. This was my mistake for keeping contact with his mother a few months after the break up. I showed no emotion... I wanted to laugh the two of them looked ridiculous.
that’s awful, please do not continue going after this guy…sounds very manipulative
Yeah, you really dodged a bullet. It's a blessing you aren't in a relationship with that person. That's about as juvenile and heartless as a human can be. The mom is trash too.
@@musicalala thank you your very kind
@@coopermckillop8981 I was in a relationship with him and he was very abusive I was very young at the time. This was after we broke up. It was a mistake that I regret to this day.
You handled it with grace and maturity He acted like a jerk He might have had a good laugh at the time , but if he ever grows up he’ll realize what a douche he was
i love u coach everytime im about to break i put u on my phone and it gets me through it all
Relatable
you should do a video about people being a bad influence on the dumper. for example, i have a feeling that my friends could be talking bad about the relationship and trying to give them advice on moving on and what not even though they don’t understand the situation and it makes it harder for us to get closer
I agree ... the friend's influences, sabotaging is a real "problem."
@@newoaknl i made the mistake of talking to mutual friends about it and one in particular could be influencing him into not dating me again and it kinda sucks
@@tooseccformyshirt7264 .. especially women do that amongst themselves (sabotage). So they "manipulate" themselves in. How many times didn't you see, yeah he was a mutual friend but now, we "fell in love and we couldn't help it - it just happened..."
I had that happened to me but lil do they know and the new guy know she still cares LMAOOO 🙃
@@newoaknl 100%. my ex is male and all our mutual friends are male and i’m close with a couple of them and i’ll admit i did talk to some of them and one in particular is always pushing me to move on and i have a strong feeling that he’s been talking to my ex about it and even though my ex is moving in the right direction, i think the influence that my friend has is holding him back a little bit
I've wanted mine back for 13 years now. Now that's pathetic
johnkamaghon, it sounds like you never got over her. That happens. ❤
I agree with most of the points, but I disagree there needs to be any false response, my ex wanted to be friends but I told her clearly that I have the feelings for her and want her to be happy but I can’t continue to be a friend and be available for her as I’m emotionally invested. I told her that I leave her with love and light and focus on detaching completely with her. I felt much lighter and think this helps me heal.
Don't be friends, bcse you will be hurt. Great idea to STAT AWAY..GOOD LUCK TO YOU..
Literally the day after our break-up, my ex still wanted to be in contact but I knew that would've been a mistake. I just told her I would not stop her decision of splitting up if that's what she truly wanted.
The next day, we crossed each other in the hallways at work & she said "Hi" to me. I was shocked seeing her in my presence it took me a while to process the moment and formulate anything in my mind. I didn't have the capacity to utter back anything to her, so I just passed by - and I've been beating myself over that ever since. The last I ever wanted to do is come across as being petty or bitter in her eyes. Now when we come across each other, we just out-right ignore one-another. I've been considering just waving hi at her, but I can't even stomach doing that without feeling she wants absolutely nothing to do with me now.
Haha! The 'Jealousy Bait' is a good one. I'll post other pics on social media of other new ppl - however exes - plz don't ever contact me back bcz I don't need you🤣
Needs new video. Opens UA-cam and there it is ♥️ 43 days, going strong.
Just saw my ex for the first time in almost 6 months. It was at an AA meeting and we were sitting with two people in between us. We said nothing and she took off right after. I mean it was awkward and I couldn’t stop thinking about her the whole time. I know she must have been thinking of me . We were engaged. I’m pretty sure she is dating someone too. She was like a few weeks after . I am just missing her like crazy again and I know I can’t do anything about it , but keep growing and not reach out. Just hurts .
I’ve done that once. Not really sure trying a second time is a great idea. There is no trust now.
Seeing your ex at a meeting. Holy crap! Page 421 is about all I have for you.
Thanks guys !
Thank you Coach Lee. Your videos are insightful as always. My ex blind sided me with the breakup four weeks ago and your videos have been helping me cope with my anxiety every night. I've been in NC for over 11 days now and she texted to wish me happy new year just a night ago and then nothing else. I responded casually and politely, mirroring her messages. Now I wait..
You have to change the name of the title of the video to : how to recognize a CONTROLLING “ relationship “ . There are great videos on coercive control .Or “ mind games “ played by an abusive person .
I wouldn't pay no mind they did it to you once they will probably do it again here is what I've learned take the time you put into them and take that time and energy and put into yourself if it's meant to be it will be just focus on yourself deleting them on all social media don't check up on them don't talk to them with friends you just do you move forward
I agree
It’s the only way. You hurt yourself more if you look online. Someone more compatible will come in your life. It’s too short for games.
I know of a pow-erful spe-l-l ca'ster who he"lp, get my ex back whazzp him on +2( 3 4) 8 1 2 0 7 6 8 2 9 5🙏
Pls post more coach lee! You’ve helped me get my on again off again relationship back 100. I love you say that can signify a deep connection
+2348108948451⏯⏯💕💕
I honestly wish my ex and I would get back together and work things out we been doing the no contract rule almost 2 months and now she recently started reaching out thru texting and coming by my house while I wasn't home claiming she forgot some of her stuff. After 2 months and texting me out of the blue I think she's to stubborn to admit she's guilty and ashamed how she did me to face me or call me on the phone instead of texting.
Don't listen to the charlatans promising you results, they are all fake. Believe in yourself, and keep your frame. Love yourself unconditionally, and work on being the best version of you, not for your ex, but for yourself.
How did it go mate
Try to meet her halfway 🤷🏽♀️
Just get someone else lol
She’s hinting bro
I was talking to a dentist for purposes of marriage. I am a doctor. She didn’t want to compromise her career for family responsibilities/traditional role of a wife. After a few discussions she said it was ok if we split bills and home/family responsibilities.
I finally met her after 4 months when I traveled to her state and 2 of her cousins and a male guardian were there at the meeting. We are religious Muslims and we are pretty conservative in how we meet and interact before marriage. I was originally promised the meeting would be nothing more than an informal gathering and meeting in person. When I arrived, I was character assassinated by her 2 female cousins for having an agreement to share bills. “That’s the man’s responsibility.” The woman later had her opinion swayed by her cousins and said she will not pay any bills but still wants to work full time. She also wanted six figure US dollars mahr (Islamic dowry) and a minimum 3 carat diamond ring. She got super emotional when I wouldn’t bend to her entitled ways and she dumped me.
Hahaha like a buying a cow…..
If a guy wants to make me jealous by showing up with another girl he will actually repel me. That would make me move on immediately . I would thank him
& the universe for that
I'm over it and thanks to her im a completely different guy now the first sign of a lie or inconsistency I walk away from anyone or any type of relationship from friendship or family 🤷🏾♂️
__Hi, why don't you send a message to this great man who helped me attract my partner after many years of separation? ❤❤❤
_ You can send him a text message only on WHATSAPP 👇👇❤ ❤__
✛𝟮𝟯𝟰8167987281(☉｡☉)!
I really don't understand the mentality in taking a person back, it's lost situation always!
Always huh?
@@RealCoachLee Yes, the person loses respect for you and thinks okay what they did and will end up doing it again. Why deal with the drama, unless that what you like! In that case, your the bone head! Get my drift?
Unless the person realizes their mistake, sees that you are strong enough to stay away, and goes forward changed. No one is perfect and people can learn from their mistakes. I see it all the time. Heck, my own parents broke up before getting back together and getting married. It happens all the time.
Check my attendance, Coach. I am always present 🥰
I know of a pow-erful spe-l-l ca'ster who he"lp, get my ex back whazzp him on +2( 3 4) 8 1 2 0 7 6 8 2 9 5?+
Am totally healed and have no time for him...thank you coach for your great advice .went No conduct for two months ,was very disciplined then boom he is showing up.
i have no interest
I have never got back with any man once the 4 months mark has past! It’s just gone forever