In Indonesia, men usually approach their girlfriends by saying something like, "How much I love you, would you like to be my girlfriend??" When she nods and says yes, it means you officially enter into a relationship as a couple. Indonesian girls need clarity because it will determine their next actions. For example, if you are with another girl, she have the right to be jealous and confront you, even get angry. Similarly, if she is approached by another guy, she will firmly state that she already has a boyfriend. In Indonesian culture, a girl doesn't dare to say that she belongs to you or you belong to her unless it comes from you (the man) first, no matter how much she likes you. Without making an "official statement" that clearly states "you and I are dating", it will be considered unclear and disadvantageous by the girl. If she meets another guy, she will be confused about whether to accept him or not. If she accepts him, what if it turns out you already consider her your girlfriend. If she doesn't accept him, what if it turns out you haven't considered her your girlfriend all this time.
I'm Indonesian women. I believe some women here just like me, and some are not. But if there's foreigners come close just for fun, I better to stay away from him because what I expect is a gentleman, seriously to build family. I love qnd respect my religion, my family, and I guard my chastity. I only want to give and share my life with the men who is dead serious.
Wow, I thought Indonesian women were superficial but you are too specific with your religion and guard your chastity, are other nations' women not like you? It depends on education, religion, and family orientation. Indonesian women are not unique, but special.
The best way to view the culture is "Westerners date to date, Asians date to mate." Those of you who are looking for opportunity of having an Asian woman for selfish reasons will find the same results from the women, because they can see right through you, and you will get the same from them, and they are better at disguising it than you. This is true anywhere on the Earth. If you are looking for a woman to be your mate that will happen especially if you are clear to her with your intentions. Asian women simply have the desire to be taken care of and to be truly loved, it's their culture, it's in them, respect it and they will respect you. I have had great experiences with Asian woman as well as pure disasters which were really my fault. Also, for those of you who are only interested in Friends with Benefits, you really do not realize that it's not FREE!! The cost is higher than you think in Dollars and your well being.
Had a similar conversation w/ my Japanese girl some time ago. You get a handful of "flirty dating" and hanging out, but there is an expectation of relationship status that a Japanese woman wants to hear.
@@markhall3165 They still exist but are few and far between. Japanese girls are a bit like Chinese girls in the sense that they're only likely to consider a serious relationship with a foreigner if they can't get a Japanese man for some reason - either due to their unappealing look, advanced age, bad attitude... or all three. You are right though. In my experience, most Japanese women would never consider a relationship with a foreign man - especially the extremely beautiful ones - but fortunately they have no issues sleeping with one as a kind of fun and secret experiment on the down-low that doesn't lead anywhere and is over very quickly.
@@markhall3165 There has certainly has been that change hence the low birthrate. For those still in the dating game, however, "kokuhaku" is still in play - relarionship status confession.
I had the biggest crush on an Indonesian Girl when I was about 17. she was 18 but promised to marry into an arranged marriage. it was sad, but I hjad a really good friend in her. She was a good girl and I would never have tried to corrupt that. she commanded respect with her kindness, sense of humor, culture and intelligence, and beauty. I hope life worked out for her. she was deserving of a good and loving husband. turns out I would not have been right for her at that young age. I was too irresponsible. Good luck all. Please do not corrupt these people. they are pretty good people.
Indonesia population are strongly visual/spatial thinking (more than 60%), 27% kinesthetic and only around 13% auditory. I think in western are in words (or both) and auditory too. Visual spatial thinking in mental image, we see in patterns, we don't need to touch, to see, to smell, to hear to make abstract reasoning. Thats why many of us not so good in learning new language, but trust me they are very good at visual and kinesthetic. I my self im 78% visual. U teach in words i learn in pictures/concept. And clarity leads to possitive emotion, thats why in Indonesia the number of mental disorder is quite low. And if u learned neuroscience, psychology, socio psych: free sex, one night stand are not free at all. These things lead to depression, bipolar, narcissism, suicidal thoughts and many more of mental disorder. Yes im abstract divergent thinking We care about our next generation. We protect the younger ones like lil bros and sis and we respect the elders. This is what we want to pass down to our next generation. So the way we process informations are diff one to another. Less of 30% people in the world are visual. Are Indonesians have low IQ? I dont think so, we are just different. Mine is 138 and I'm Indonesian.
I met one very beautiful Indonesian girl in Hong Kong. She was an extreme golddigger, all she wanted was a wealthy man, fancy gifts or money, or free hotel and trips.
This is not a problem unique to Indonesian women. The problem is that many men are scared of rejection from women, so they lie, make excuses, or become wishy-washy, or don't make any moves out of fear. The end result is a hurt, confused, or angry woman... and a frustrated man who can't figure out what he did wrong. Being charming but equally DIRECT with women is the best way to go - even if all you're looking for is a few nights of fun. It's bold, earns respect, and saves a lot of wasted time. Yes you will still get rejected - that's unavoidable - but even successful businesses lose money and have costs of doing business as well. Dating is no different.
Yes I am having this same issue right now and I don't know how to explain this to her I'm from America and we take thing slow over here and build up a relationship to get married
Very very helpful and useful information. Your content is unique from all other channels. I am grateful for your experiences and efforts to help us. Thank you 🙏🏼
The indonesian woman I met online expects me to come with an engamement ring to indonesia. (I will fly next week) I'm open for marriage but I can't decide it before I even met her. In germany it's normal to date at least for 6 months and then you can decide if you want to marry but this constant talking about marriage before even having met really annoys me. She talks like that her culture expects it as a sign of seriousness. But nobody wants to marry and later find out it was the wrong person. If she keeps trying to speed things up, I'll lose interest.
Don't engage in this kind of stuff! This woman seems to be desperate. Perhaps she gets pressure from her family. You are right: do not decide anything before you even meet her! My rule of thumb: don't do things you would not do in your home country. In Germany we don't marry a woman just because we chatted with her online for a while. This is insane! This Indonesian woman does not respect you, period. She is selfish. Dump her!
Reading this, I sense a bad vibe from that girl (maybe I'm wrong). Even if she's not bad, she seems too childish, feeling like everything should come easily to her. From what I know about Indonesian girls marrying foreign men they met through dating sites, the duration of their communication before meeting varies, but on average it's almost a year. Even if there are some much shorter than that, it's because they both feel confident in each other and it's really done without coercion and pressure. The couple makes agreements that make it easier together. Just follow your intuition. I'm just a little surprised because you'll be flying next week but today you're still unsure.
@@MinimalistNomad Maybe she's also a girl who likes to show off. So she can't wait to show off her bule boyfriend to people around her. Maybe she's already shown off her online bule boyfriend to people and they challenged her to bring the bule boyfriend over, to prove that the girl wasn't just boasting.
This is an obvious crippling red flag. If you keep talking to her, send her now the ring and half of your assets, without coming, so you'll get the same result without losing time and mental health. There's a lot of beautiful Indonesian who aren't superficial and behave like adults in the real world. There's no common sense to date an SEA girl with the regular western flaws. In 2024, the ring scheme is just a Walt Disney scam like the sick buffalo, if she can't handle the normal pressure of her family (parents concerns can be justified), she won't be a good companion for all the hassles of life.
This is good. Helpful. I recently got on Indonesian Cupid. Now I know why certain questions I am getting right off from the Indonesian girls. Like how long have you been on here. Keep up the good work. Sharing your Indonesian girlfriend's insights is very good.
I'm interested in this channel discussing Asian women, but you need to know about asian women, especially Indonesians, Indonesian women don't have the same character depending on what tribe the woman comes from
What's why Europeans and American have to much divorced rate because of playfulness and not looking for commitment. It's better to settle then f around. And that's what western shows
To the people whom commented they are suprised that Indonesian women still have set of traditional thinking: seems like you've been hanging out in the wrong places.... If all you went to were clubs & bars then no wonder there.... No matter what her ethinicity is, Indonesian women can be a mixed of traditional & modern. Just because we are more inclined to traditional values, that does not mean we are meek. On the other hand, just because we can be seen as independent, but don't mistake us for the extreme feminist movement of the West.
we Muslims, i mean most and Majority, the relation with a Muslim girl must be official and must begin with the family blessing first , then engagement then Marriage....at least this was the case about 30 years ago, now days with globalization and modern life styles it could differ, but dating a Muslim girl any where in the world will be not as easy as any other....again i am talking about educated ladies with strong family bonds.
@ahmedgaafar5369 It depends on the level in the society: what you write is true in the high upper class (for money and assets protections) and the very low class (where tribal rules are still the societal glue within their social closed system). But the rest of Indonesian society is way more diverse than this narrow "religion focused" comment. Indonesia is modernising very quickly now, catching up with wealthy standards, and this comes with a price: more individualism in the universal pursuit of happiness.
@@Muka_gue_muka_JAWA Malah tumben-tumbenan gua denger yg kayak lu ceritain. Rata-rata keluarga gua dan teman-teman sekitar gua musti bawa ke keluarga inti dulu, pelan-pelan dikenalin keluarga besar, baru lanjut tunangan lalu nikah. Tapi ya yang udah fix serius aja
Even with “clarification”, she will STILL leave you!!! If you’re “just her boyfriend”, she AND other men will see her as open season/open for business. The marriage/commitment thing is HUGE in ALL OF ASIA, especially SE Asia!!! If some other guy comes along and is willing to marry her, you’re burnt toast and tossed to the wind like you never existed. If/When that happens, thank your lucky stars. Yes, it’s gonna hurt but you dodged a bullet man, in fact it’s the best thing that could happen to you. Just move on and be careful when dealing with these women.
No mate, it's not as simple as that. If you're on girlfriend/boyfriend relationship but there's no time limit & seriousness from your side to wed her then the probability she'll left you is higher. I would say min 2-5 years on GF/BF relationship and there's no certainty from you to marry her then she will leave, coz she would be pressured by her family and even her big family to get a husband and make a family. Especially when she's on her late 20 (usually it would be start on 25yo), coz we Indonesian & our family knew about "women biology wall". That's why they want her daughter to get married when they touch that age . If you had bad experience about it with Indonesian girl then I suggest you to looking back, maybe there's no time limit to wed her or maybe you find & get a "bad apple" coz you're not choose wisely. I would give all westerner or foreigners little advice "if you wanna find your future wife from Indonesia, NEVER EVER find that girl from the night club!" Okay I'm off now. Wish the best for you mate🙏
I saw different women in Indonesia, several women I knew, who would divorce their spouses as soon as their spouses became severely sick or lost their jobs. I saw many American women stay with their husbands when they were sick or lost their jobs. So, it depends on the locality, education, and loyalty.
Okay, in the beginning of the dating. Would you say the second date you propose you guys start dating is 2nd or 3rd date. How early do you introduce you want to date the girl
We have to clarify first what we mean by the term "dating". (If I understood your question correctly) Dating can mean: 1. Just meeting/seeing each other, hanging out together without any sexual encounters 2. Being in a boyfriend/girlfriend (sexual) relationship. If you talk about the second option: there is no blueprint when to "propose". Go with your feelings, discernment and judgement. What does her body language tell you? How does she communicate with you? Every woman is a bit different but after spending some time with each other you will have a pretty good clue. Then take action. Lead. Remember, it is expected by these women that you lead. Indonesians (and other Asians) are shy and passive. That's why meetings in person are so important! You will figure out a great deal during these dates. Forget about online dating! Online dating is only good for an introduction. Don't hang around online too long, chatting. Take action and jump straight into the cold water. It will be refreshing, given that you know how to swim 😉.
Being traditional and being marriage-focused is good but if they actually see foreigner guys as a way to go abroad then thats a problem. I'm planning to move indonesia for leaving my country and its broken culture. Why would i want a girl who wants to bring me back to there?
You can't go around dating here and there,the way you do in Europe, Indonesia are Muslims and they are not ready for flirting then get dump, remember they are conservative families,so they want their family know their future husband, where as Vietnam is different.
I was so confused through the entire interesting video, because I don't know if "flirting" is a euphemism or he is serious? If I go to the coffee shop every day in Indonesia and make jokes now and then to the cashier, she is eventually going to get pissed and tell people I'm a "playboy" because I don't propose to her? When I never would have considered taking things as far as a date? Seems hard to believe. OTOH I can't verify his claims about Western culture, I thought Americans have to officially announce it when they're so-called "going steady" -- though I'm from the USA I don't actually know because I was rejected by my country.
You got it wrong. No Indonesian woman expects you to propose to her just because you are friendly to her especially when you are a complete stranger. My video refers to a situation where you are actually dating (having meet-ups) with the girls already. So you are not complete strangers anymore.
No. Hell no. In here, when you are pregnant outside of marriage, it is seeing as something taboo. That's what our family told and that is the norm in society.
@@Fiddaaachia If only afraid to get pregnant, many ways to prevented that and this is 2024. What I still believe is that many girls in Indonesia or most girls in Indonesia including those in big cities like Jakarta, Surabaya with a freer social life etc most good girls from good families are still virgins in their 20s, while less % in western countries for young ladies. The best way for this ladies is to love,trust and respect yourself! You do only if you want and ready!!! If you pursuing dating for long life partner, the process of getting know to each other is more important, most if come from different background and different culture, this is totally different than hookup, bedtime activities need to be careful, consider them responsibly, if you're not ready then simply don't be! If he is yours, he will be yours! Just trust yourself, this is also one things can be discuss with the future boyfriend :))) I have teens girl in USA, I tell them the same! 😉
Never made these arrangements with an Indonesian woman. But never say never. I have actually spoken to an Indonesian guy from Makassar/Sulawesi. He is young, handsome and runs a business. He told me that he only prefers "Friends with Benefit" relationships, at the moment. I was surprised and asked him whether there are Indonesian girls open to that. He said, yes there are women open to that. But everything happens very discretely and in secret. He is a local man. It will be easier for him to find these kinds of women than for a foreigner.
@@MinimalistNomad I'm surprised by your surprise😂In Indonesia, various concepts of sexual relationships exist, no different from the West. Don't say you didn't know that Indonesian girls also sell videos on OnlyFans😁
In Indonesia, men usually approach their girlfriends by saying something like, "How much I love you, would you like to be my girlfriend??" When she nods and says yes, it means you officially enter into a relationship as a couple.
Indonesian girls need clarity because it will determine their next actions. For example, if you are with another girl, she have the right to be jealous and confront you, even get angry. Similarly, if she is approached by another guy, she will firmly state that she already has a boyfriend.
In Indonesian culture, a girl doesn't dare to say that she belongs to you or you belong to her unless it comes from you (the man) first, no matter how much she likes you.
Without making an "official statement" that clearly states "you and I are dating", it will be considered unclear and disadvantageous by the girl. If she meets another guy, she will be confused about whether to accept him or not. If she accepts him, what if it turns out you already consider her your girlfriend. If she doesn't accept him, what if it turns out you haven't considered her your girlfriend all this time.
Thanks for clarifying. Always appreciated mate👍
Did I miss something when I was young???? I assume Indonesian girls are more feminist than Western women.
I'm Indonesian women. I believe some women here just like me, and some are not. But if there's foreigners come close just for fun, I better to stay away from him because what I expect is a gentleman, seriously to build family. I love qnd respect my religion, my family, and I guard my chastity. I only want to give and share my life with the men who is dead serious.
Wow, I thought Indonesian women were superficial but you are too specific with your religion and guard your chastity, are other nations' women not like you? It depends on education, religion, and family orientation. Indonesian women are not unique, but special.
@trevorsmith7753 But, but, but, goyang Madura is phenomenal, bro, goyang yang mana? Bangkalan, Pamekasan, Sumenep atau goyang Camplong Beach???
@@Saul-wo4qf may Allah rewards you for your patience and may Allah grant you righteous spouse, Amin ya Rabbal'alamin
@trevorsmith7753 honestly I don't even know what is that
@@hiyantiniya1074 where to find woman with these principles, serious question?
The best way to view the culture is "Westerners date to date, Asians date to mate." Those of you who are looking for opportunity of having an Asian woman for selfish reasons will find the same results from the women, because they can see right through you, and you will get the same from them, and they are better at disguising it than you. This is true anywhere on the Earth. If you are looking for a woman to be your mate that will happen especially if you are clear to her with your intentions. Asian women simply have the desire to be taken care of and to be truly loved, it's their culture, it's in them, respect it and they will respect you.
I have had great experiences with Asian woman as well as pure disasters which were really my fault.
Also, for those of you who are only interested in Friends with Benefits, you really do not realize that it's not FREE!! The cost is higher than you think in Dollars and your well being.
Good points made 👍. Thanks
What's wrong with "Friends with benefits?"
Had a similar conversation w/ my Japanese girl some time ago. You get a handful of "flirty dating" and hanging out, but there is an expectation of relationship status that a Japanese woman wants to hear.
Interesting. Thanks for sharing👍
It must have really been 'some time ago.' Japanese girls haven't been marriage minded traditional for some decades now.
@@markhall3165 They still exist but are few and far between. Japanese girls are a bit like Chinese girls in the sense that they're only likely to consider a serious relationship with a foreigner if they can't get a Japanese man for some reason - either due to their unappealing look, advanced age, bad attitude... or all three.
You are right though. In my experience, most Japanese women would never consider a relationship with a foreign man - especially the extremely beautiful ones - but fortunately they have no issues sleeping with one as a kind of fun and secret experiment on the down-low that doesn't lead anywhere and is over very quickly.
@@markhall3165 There has certainly has been that change hence the low birthrate. For those still in the dating game, however, "kokuhaku" is still in play - relarionship status confession.
I had the biggest crush on an Indonesian Girl when I was about 17. she was 18 but promised to marry into an arranged marriage. it was sad, but I hjad a really good friend in her. She was a good girl and I would never have tried to corrupt that. she commanded respect with her kindness, sense of humor, culture and intelligence, and beauty. I hope life worked out for her. she was deserving of a good and loving husband. turns out I would not have been right for her at that young age. I was too irresponsible. Good luck all. Please do not corrupt these people. they are pretty good people.
Thanks for sharing your story!👍
Indonesia population are strongly visual/spatial thinking (more than 60%), 27% kinesthetic and only around 13% auditory. I think in western are in words (or both) and auditory too. Visual spatial thinking in mental image, we see in patterns, we don't need to touch, to see, to smell, to hear to make abstract reasoning. Thats why many of us not so good in learning new language, but trust me they are very good at visual and kinesthetic. I my self im 78% visual. U teach in words i learn in pictures/concept.
And clarity leads to possitive emotion, thats why in Indonesia the number of mental disorder is quite low. And if u learned neuroscience, psychology, socio psych: free sex, one night stand are not free at all. These things lead to depression, bipolar, narcissism, suicidal thoughts and many more of mental disorder. Yes im abstract divergent thinking
We care about our next generation. We protect the younger ones like lil bros and sis and we respect the elders. This is what we want to pass down to our next generation.
So the way we process informations are diff one to another. Less of 30% people in the world are visual. Are Indonesians have low IQ? I dont think so, we are just different. Mine is 138 and I'm Indonesian.
Thanks for sharing your thought👍
I met one very beautiful Indonesian girl in Hong Kong. She was an extreme golddigger, all she wanted was a wealthy man, fancy gifts or money, or free hotel and trips.
Most want a wealthy man
Great video. Had to clarify dating status awhile ago.
How did it go?
@@MinimalistNomad Fantastic! Clear communication, lots of your videos, went to Indonesian "dating" status to partner, both very happy!
This is not a problem unique to Indonesian women. The problem is that many men are scared of rejection from women, so they lie, make excuses, or become wishy-washy, or don't make any moves out of fear. The end result is a hurt, confused, or angry woman... and a frustrated man who can't figure out what he did wrong.
Being charming but equally DIRECT with women is the best way to go - even if all you're looking for is a few nights of fun. It's bold, earns respect, and saves a lot of wasted time. Yes you will still get rejected - that's unavoidable - but even successful businesses lose money and have costs of doing business as well. Dating is no different.
Spot on 👍 And you nailed it with the business comparison! Good one mate. Thanks
Out if the blue, ask her to hand you her smartphone. See how she reacts.
That's every woman everywhere... even the grannies.
And vice versa
@grey7513 😂👍
Can you explain?
Looks like somebody gets unlike most men who are going overseas.
Can’t wait for your next video Marcel!! 😊
On the way...
Yes I am having this same issue right now and I don't know how to explain this to her I'm from America and we take thing slow over here and build up a relationship to get married
Very very helpful and useful information. Your content is unique from all other channels. I am grateful for your experiences and efforts to help us. Thank you 🙏🏼
The indonesian woman I met online expects me to come with an engamement ring to indonesia. (I will fly next week) I'm open for marriage but I can't decide it before I even met her. In germany it's normal to date at least for 6 months and then you can decide if you want to marry but this constant talking about marriage before even having met really annoys me. She talks like that her culture expects it as a sign of seriousness. But nobody wants to marry and later find out it was the wrong person. If she keeps trying to speed things up, I'll lose interest.
Don't engage in this kind of stuff! This woman seems to be desperate. Perhaps she gets pressure from her family. You are right: do not decide anything before you even meet her! My rule of thumb: don't do things you would not do in your home country. In Germany we don't marry a woman just because we chatted with her online for a while. This is insane! This Indonesian woman does not respect you, period. She is selfish. Dump her!
If you can't be straightforward and honest with your intentions, then she will make them up for you. This is never a good thing.
Reading this, I sense a bad vibe from that girl (maybe I'm wrong). Even if she's not bad, she seems too childish, feeling like everything should come easily to her. From what I know about Indonesian girls marrying foreign men they met through dating sites, the duration of their communication before meeting varies, but on average it's almost a year. Even if there are some much shorter than that, it's because they both feel confident in each other and it's really done without coercion and pressure. The couple makes agreements that make it easier together.
Just follow your intuition. I'm just a little surprised because you'll be flying next week but today you're still unsure.
@@MinimalistNomad Maybe she's also a girl who likes to show off. So she can't wait to show off her bule boyfriend to people around her. Maybe she's already shown off her online bule boyfriend to people and they challenged her to bring the bule boyfriend over, to prove that the girl wasn't just boasting.
This is an obvious crippling red flag.
If you keep talking to her, send her now the ring and half of your assets, without coming, so you'll get the same result without losing time and mental health.
There's a lot of beautiful Indonesian who aren't superficial and behave like adults in the real world.
There's no common sense to date an SEA girl with the regular western flaws. In 2024, the ring scheme is just a Walt Disney scam like the sick buffalo, if she can't handle the normal pressure of her family (parents concerns can be justified), she won't be a good companion for all the hassles of life.
This is good. Helpful. I recently got on Indonesian Cupid. Now I know why certain questions I am getting right off from the Indonesian girls. Like how long have you been on here. Keep up the good work. Sharing your Indonesian girlfriend's insights is very good.
Yes, they test you by asking these questions. That's alright. They want to find out if you are a match and what you are up to.
Men are in love, but women are in business!
@@nathanbutcher7720good one!
Not at woman do that lol@@nathanbutcher7720
They see a husband financial stability and they want children
I'm interested in this channel discussing Asian women, but you need to know about asian women, especially Indonesians, Indonesian women don't have the same character depending on what tribe the woman comes from
Perhaps you can try to explain to us about different characteristics of different tribes? Would be interesting to learn😉
It’s a husband or never
What's why Europeans and American have to much divorced rate because of playfulness and not looking for commitment. It's better to settle then f around. And that's what western shows
Your assessment is completely wrong, sorry to say! Certainly, the points you mentioned play a role, but in a very subordinate role.
Because dating without intention to make familly is just waste of time.
Its intresting this Video well at this Time maybe i have an philippine Woman and if this go wrong i take a Look at Indonesian Sites
HTS = hubungan tanpa status/ relationship without status
TTM = teman tapi mesra/friend with benefits
Thanks 👍 Yes, that was the word which escaped my memory: HTS
@@MinimalistNomadthere is also mokondo = modal ***tol doang. 😂
To the people whom commented they are suprised that Indonesian women still have set of traditional thinking: seems like you've been hanging out in the wrong places....
If all you went to were clubs & bars then no wonder there....
No matter what her ethinicity is, Indonesian women can be a mixed of traditional & modern. Just because we are more inclined to traditional values, that does not mean we are meek. On the other hand, just because we can be seen as independent, but don't mistake us for the extreme feminist movement of the West.
I agree with your assessment.
Can you provide "receipts" about Indonesian women? You need bring some one to tell us about their lives in their voice.
respect all women, but especially indonesian women.
German player! Thanks for that information. lol😂
we Muslims, i mean most and Majority, the relation with a Muslim girl must be official and must begin with the family blessing first , then engagement then Marriage....at least this was the case about 30 years ago, now days with globalization and modern life styles it could differ, but dating a Muslim girl any where in the world will be not as easy as any other....again i am talking about educated ladies with strong family bonds.
Thanks for sharing👍
Bohong banget 🤣🤣🤣, gua beberapa kali pacaran ga ada orang tua gua yang tau dan orang tua dia juga ga tau kami pacarang , jangan kebanyakan ngibul lu
@ahmedgaafar5369 It depends on the level in the society: what you write is true in the high upper class (for money and assets protections) and the very low class (where tribal rules are still the societal glue within their social closed system).
But the rest of Indonesian society is way more diverse than this narrow "religion focused" comment.
Indonesia is modernising very quickly now, catching up with wealthy standards, and this comes with a price: more individualism in the universal pursuit of happiness.
@@Muka_gue_muka_JAWA Malah tumben-tumbenan gua denger yg kayak lu ceritain. Rata-rata keluarga gua dan teman-teman sekitar gua musti bawa ke keluarga inti dulu, pelan-pelan dikenalin keluarga besar, baru lanjut tunangan lalu nikah.
Tapi ya yang udah fix serius aja
@@Embrinnayes 💯
Even with “clarification”, she will STILL leave you!!! If you’re “just her boyfriend”, she AND other men will see her as open season/open for business. The marriage/commitment thing is HUGE in ALL OF ASIA, especially SE Asia!!! If some other guy comes along and is willing to marry her, you’re burnt toast and tossed to the wind like you never existed. If/When that happens, thank your lucky stars. Yes, it’s gonna hurt but you dodged a bullet man, in fact it’s the best thing that could happen to you. Just move on and be careful when dealing with these women.
No mate, it's not as simple as that. If you're on girlfriend/boyfriend relationship but there's no time limit & seriousness from your side to wed her then the probability she'll left you is higher. I would say min 2-5 years on GF/BF relationship and there's no certainty from you to marry her then she will leave, coz she would be pressured by her family and even her big family to get a husband and make a family. Especially when she's on her late 20 (usually it would be start on 25yo), coz we Indonesian & our family knew about "women biology wall". That's why they want her daughter to get married when they touch that age . If you had bad experience about it with Indonesian girl then I suggest you to looking back, maybe there's no time limit to wed her or maybe you find & get a "bad apple" coz you're not choose wisely. I would give all westerner or foreigners little advice "if you wanna find your future wife from Indonesia, NEVER EVER find that girl from the night club!"
Okay I'm off now. Wish the best for you mate🙏
I saw different women in Indonesia, several women I knew, who would divorce their spouses as soon as their spouses became severely sick or lost their jobs. I saw many American women stay with their husbands when they were sick or lost their jobs. So, it depends on the locality, education, and loyalty.
I have to admit, as much as I want to disagree with him he's completely right
Okay, in the beginning of the dating. Would you say the second date you propose you guys start dating is 2nd or 3rd date. How early do you introduce you want to date the girl
We have to clarify first what we mean by the term "dating". (If I understood your question correctly) Dating can mean:
1. Just meeting/seeing each other, hanging out together without any sexual encounters
2. Being in a boyfriend/girlfriend (sexual) relationship.
If you talk about the second option: there is no blueprint when to "propose". Go with your feelings, discernment and judgement. What does her body language tell you? How does she communicate with you? Every woman is a bit different but after spending some time with each other you will have a pretty good clue. Then take action. Lead. Remember, it is expected by these women that you lead. Indonesians (and other Asians) are shy and passive. That's why meetings in person are so important! You will figure out a great deal during these dates. Forget about online dating! Online dating is only good for an introduction. Don't hang around online too long, chatting. Take action and jump straight into the cold water. It will be refreshing, given that you know how to swim 😉.
Thank you for this really informative video :-)
You're welcome👍
Being traditional and being marriage-focused is good but if they actually see foreigner guys as a way to go abroad then thats a problem. I'm planning to move indonesia for leaving my country and its broken culture. Why would i want a girl who wants to bring me back to there?
You can't go around dating here and there,the way you do in Europe, Indonesia are Muslims and they are not ready for flirting then get dump, remember they are conservative families,so they want their family know their future husband, where as Vietnam is different.
So now she thinks I want to marry her and have kids I don't what to do now because I don't want to break heart
Oh dear 🙄
I was so confused through the entire interesting video, because I don't know if "flirting" is a euphemism or he is serious? If I go to the coffee shop every day in Indonesia and make jokes now and then to the cashier, she is eventually going to get pissed and tell people I'm a "playboy" because I don't propose to her? When I never would have considered taking things as far as a date? Seems hard to believe. OTOH I can't verify his claims about Western culture, I thought Americans have to officially announce it when they're so-called "going steady" -- though I'm from the USA I don't actually know because I was rejected by my country.
You got it wrong. No Indonesian woman expects you to propose to her just because you are friendly to her especially when you are a complete stranger. My video refers to a situation where you are actually dating (having meet-ups) with the girls already. So you are not complete strangers anymore.
In Thailand you are called Butterfly.
Why Butterfly?
False hopes with any women. You have to be a fool to appeal to their logic.
What does girlfriend mean ? Includes bedtime activities ?
It includes a lot of other activities as well👍
No. Hell no. In here, when you are pregnant outside of marriage, it is seeing as something taboo. That's what our family told and that is the norm in society.
@@Fiddaaachia
If only afraid to get pregnant, many ways to prevented that and this is 2024.
What I still believe is that many girls in Indonesia or most girls in Indonesia including those in big cities like Jakarta, Surabaya with a freer social life etc most good girls from good families are still virgins in their 20s, while less % in western countries for young ladies.
The best way for this ladies is to love,trust and respect yourself!
You do only if you want and ready!!!
If you pursuing dating for long life partner, the process of getting know to each other is more important, most if come from different background and different culture, this is totally different than hookup, bedtime activities need to be careful, consider them responsibly, if you're not ready then simply don't be!
If he is yours, he will be yours!
Just trust yourself, this is also one things can be discuss with the future boyfriend :)))
I have teens girl in USA, I tell them the same! 😉
@@CR-sj6pxThats why i love indonesian women, they actually care about their honour unlike turkish women who sleeps with anyone attractive.
She already told her parents that I'm her boyfriend now 😅
That's ok because she is probably proud and happy.
Sometimes you need to lie a little, is inevitable
Have you found Indonesian women open to friends with benefits TTM. Glad to know that term.
No decent indonesian lady would be ok with that.
Sounds like a bali degenerate girl.
No proper lady would be open to such arrangements.
Never made these arrangements with an Indonesian woman. But never say never. I have actually spoken to an Indonesian guy from Makassar/Sulawesi. He is young, handsome and runs a business. He told me that he only prefers "Friends with Benefit" relationships, at the moment. I was surprised and asked him whether there are Indonesian girls open to that. He said, yes there are women open to that. But everything happens very discretely and in secret. He is a local man. It will be easier for him to find these kinds of women than for a foreigner.
Plenty here in indonesia especially in big cities such as Jakarta and Surabaya
@@MinimalistNomad I'm surprised by your surprise😂In Indonesia, various concepts of sexual relationships exist, no different from the West. Don't say you didn't know that Indonesian girls also sell videos on OnlyFans😁
Swami SAYS, it's all about understanding "psychology" - in figuring out those ODD "homos" they call the "Homo Sapiens"... #SwamiSays
😂😉
First
Wow, what an enlightening and thought provoking comment on the subject of dating an Asian woman. You are a damn genius.